If you want, you can skip the "About Myself," "Background Information," and "Day One" sections, they aren't too important. They're only there if you want the whole story. The good Field Report stuff doesn't really start until Day Two, but if you find something to criticize or comment on in the sections before that: feel free.

About Myself:

I've never really been that good at girls. Never had a girlfriend, if you don't want to count a 6 month long online relationship with a girl whom I'm pretty sure was just using me for attention. I've kissed two girls, made out with one, neither of which I particularly enjoyed.

I'm not really into "pick-up." Though I've never been in one, I feel like relationships are more my thing, as opposed to the one night stand connotations of that phrase. I could just be misinterpreting the phrase, since I've never really seen "pick up" properly defined.

I've read through the things on the sidebar several times over the course of these recent months, and they did some good for me, in combination with other recent events in my life. I've also been reading "How to Make Friends and Influence People," which has helped with my social skills. I used to be fairly depressed, and anxious around people, but now I just feel mellow and happy. I don't feel like I hate myself anymore.

Background Information:

I'm a college student. I took a Theatre class, and I met some cool people. I auditioned for a play, and I got the lead role, and I was generally quite involved with the student government, party committees, field trips, etc. Life really opens up when you're able to leave your social anxiety behind, but I digress. I took a Theatre class, and I met a nice girl who invited me to her Halloween party. At her Halloween party I met another nice girl, who we will call "Jay."

Jay is very quiet, shy, and cute, about 5'4", petite, swimmer's physique with rather nice legs. HB6 or 7 I guess? I dunno these things. We didn't talk to each other throughout the party. We played spin the bottle, truth or dare and watched movies and ate. The hostess's mother was rather strict, so no alcohol. I gave no shits, and I had plenty of fun. The numbers dwindled and people were heading home.

There were four of us left: the hostess, Jay, me, and my ride home. We were all tired so we all decided to cuddle on the couch. I ended up with my arm around Jay, and the hostess was stretched out, lying on me and my ride's lap. We talked about random shit I can't remember, had a pleasant time, and I got to do a bit of kino and conversation with Jay. I left with my ride around 3 AM.

I found out Jay goes to the same college that I do. I talked to her when I saw her, and she started hanging around the places that I hang around (Lounge, Cafe, Library, etc). I asked our friend the hostess if Jay was single, and the answer was yes. I can't speak as to how truly involved the hostess was with me and Jay, but I feel like once she found out I was interested, I had an ally during the two weeks or so leading up to my first date(s?). The three of us, the hostess, Jay and I, would hang out at college every other day and play pool or Cards Against Humanity together.

There are four days in particular that I think I should recount, any one of which could have been my "first date."

Day One:

After only having hung out in the company of mutual friends, Jay and I found ourselves alone. I asked if she wanted to go to the lounge. We played pool for a couple of hours, then I had an appointment to catch, so we said our goodbyes. Jay had been really quiet, while we played we talked about music, band, Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead, and other things I can't remember. We played a little bit of chess before I had to leave. I didn't go for any kino that day, since at the time Jay didn't seem like she would be very receptive.

Later that night, same day, I received a text from the hostess, something along the lines of: "I was just talking to Jay and she said that after hanging out with you she felt like she came across as awkward and disgusted and not interested but I wanted to let you know it's not like that. She just doesn't know how to hang out with one person. I just wanted to make sure you give her a fair chance, and don't tell her I said any of this, okay?"

I imagine that text will give you an idea of how the interaction went, and the kind of personality I'm dealing with in Jay. She's rather shy. The text was a bit of a surprise for me. This is how I responded: "She should give herself more credit. It was a little light on the conversation but she didn't come across as 'awkward, digusted and not interested.' I had a pleasant time."

Day Two:

The hostess, Jay and I found ourselves in the lounge again. The hostess sat down off to the side and told me and Jay to go have fun. She said she was "sick." We played ping pong and pool for a couple hours, and the conversation flowed easier, Jay wasn't as quiet as Day One.

When we were getting tired of playing games, we sat down with the hostess again. The hostess mentioned that Jay wanted to go ice-skating with friends, and that this was a reason for us to exchange numbers. The logic was a little iffy, but I didn't question it and apparently neither did Jay. I totally could've gotten her number on my own, sniff.

I asked Jay and the hostess if they wanted to go to a Five Guys, but the hostess was allergic to peanut oil. She insisted that Jay and I go, so after a bit of pretend-arguing between me and the hostess, Jay and I left. We ate, and we talked, and it wasn't half bad. We drove back to the college, and the hostess had gone. Probably picked up. We played pool and ping pong, and then when it got dark and she had to go make an appointment, I walked her to her car.

She had mentioned earlier that she wasn't really big into hugs, so as we were walking I questioned her about that. I asked what she would do if I hugged her, and she responded with "I would just kinda take it. People hug me and I don't mind, but I don't hug people back." I responded to that with: "Okay, then I won't hug you. I'll see you around."

Later that night, I sent her my first text: "I hope I didn't keep you too long. Today was fun, we should hang out again. :)"

Day Three:

Ice Skating. I went with a group, the hostess, Jay, and a friend of theirs who I met once at the Halloween party. I'm oh so very bad at Ice Skating. Hilariously bad. I clung to the edge of the rink and whenever I tried to take more than a couple steps away from it, I flailed and lost my balance and scrambled back to the edge. I had fun though.

After Ice Skating, we went out to Dunkin Donuts, and I got a sandwich. My order came out last. I made a joke about them watching me eat. and they rolled with it, talking about how I got to watch them eat and now they're going to stare mercilessly. It was a pleasant time. The cashier gave me a free hot chocolate.

We ended up back at Jay's house, and it was pretty impressive. Three stories + basement, I think. We hung out, did stupid shit, danced, played acting/improv games, and talked. We played King of the Hill on Jay's couch. So much kino.

Eventually the other two left, and I jokingly said that she can kick me out if she wanted. She said that I could stay, and then we played pool in her basement and danced and chatted and watched videos and played Resident Evil. Just us two.

She eventually took me home, and when she dropped me off, I did two things. First: I made plans with her to go out for some spanish food a couple days from then. My treat. Second: I asked if I could see her hand. She gave it to me as if she were going for a handshake, and then I grabbed it and kissed her hand. Then she said "Well that's never happened before," and it was cute.

Day Four:

Spanish Food. A couple days passed after the ice skating. This actually happened two days ago. She picked me up at my house, I teased her about her getting lost on her way in, and we drove to the restaurant in comfortable silence. I asked her "How many?" and she didn't understand the question, but she answered "Two."

We arrived, found some parking, and walked to the restaurant. I pointed out the place that I took Judo at, which was right across from our destination. We walked in, and for the first time in my life my ability to speak Spanish was useful. I asked what she wanted and ordered it for her in spanish.

We got our food, we ate, we talked. There was a conversation strand that went something like Food -> Appetite -> Wisdom Teeth -> Licking Your Teeth -> Using your Tongue. It was oddly sexual.

We left the restaurant, and then we walked around a nearby park for an hour or so, we climbed hills and skipped with a branch in our hands. We got in her car again, and drove around for some frozen yogurt, then we drove back to my place and watched movies for six hours.

At first, we were sitting next to each other in such a position that we couldn't really cuddle, but I solved that about an hour into Riddick, by telling her to switch places with me. She protested, saying that she was comfortable, but I ignored her and picked her up by her legs and the small of her back. I wasn't actually strong enough to lift her clear her over my lap, so I may have... unintentionally dry humped her. Then we kept watching movies and making small talk and comments. We cuddled, she was leaning against me, I had my hand on her lap, and half my face in her hair.

Somewhere near the end of Epic Movie, I asked her if she had figured out why I had asked her "How many?" She said she had an idea. So I asked her again: "How many?" Again, she responded with "two." So I told her to turn and face me, and I kissed her twice. She made a face like she was bracing for impact, then she told me that was her first kiss ever, not counting a few games of spin the bottle.

We continued watching a movie and cuddling for another hour, then she started to fall asleep, and asked her if she wanted to go home. She said yes, so I took a picture of her, and escorted her to her car. I asked her if she wanted to try a "standing kiss," trying to make it sound as dirty as possible, and she said sure. So I kissed her again, she made her bracing for impact face, then I said "Don't worry, you'll get better at it. Goodnight."

There you have it.

That's my first field report, I hope you glean something useful from it. I'm taking her out for pizza + movie a few days from now, and I think I'm going to teach her how to kiss, which will be fun considering I've only ever had like thirty kisses myself, half of which were from spin the bottle. I'm probably only slightly better at it than she is.

Some Takeaways:

Don't eject at the first sign of trouble. Patience is a virtue.

If you want to do something, and there's no apparent drawback, then don't just let it stew in your head. A couple of the things I did in my story, I almost didn't do, I almost ended up thinking too much about it, like the "How much?" bit, or lifting her over my lap. I thought they might be bad ideas, but then I thought: what's the worse that can happen? (I lose my grip and she breaks her neck on my coffee table? Nahhhh, that's not going to happen.)

Act with purpose, act with grace, and act quickly. I think it helps ease anxiety to think in terms of physics, as in thinking to yourself: how strong should my grip be, what motion should I make, is there anything in the path of this person I'm lifting, how much force should I use? Also, don't just do a thing, make sure you think briefly about how to do a thing then do it.

I did that ^^ when I was lifting Jay, I did this when I was skipping with her, I did this when I was going in for the kisses. It's the reason I told her to face me, because I considered trying to kiss her in the position we were currently in and realized it would be awkward and near impossible.

A possible counter-argument to this ^^ is that you shouldn't think too much, because you're getting in the way of your instincts and being robotic/overly precise. A counter-counter-argument would be if you don't briefly think about what you're doing, you risk seeming clumsy. Seeming clumsy is never a good thing. There's a balance to be struck between robotic and clumsy, and that balance is called "graceful."

Advice/Questions:

I've never been in a relationship, and I think I do want to be in a relationship with Jay, so some advice on how I should proceed from here in order to accomplish this would be welcome. Sorry if that's vague, I'll post some more if I can come up with more specific inquiries.