Alright gents, this is a throwaway because, well, i don't want my karma destroyed. But i do want to share my life experience, and whatever gleams of wisdom that a hopeful can draw from it.

Here's a background; i'm 25, post college, shit job for now, hopefully a new job around the corner that's actually deserving of my degree. Double major, philosophy & polysci. Law/business school on the horizon. Face: average, body:less than average. I started out as beta as you can get, lost my viriginty to a 250+ girl in college at 20. I was akward, socially inept, coward, acne, weak, you name it. Except for the acne, it all still stands in my opinion. I happened upon a crazy girl in college, after my first. We started as neighbors, she had a boy when i first met her, but she was obviously interested though. Such as purposely parking her car so she could walk by my place (when it was out of her way to do so, there were are parking spots closer), asking for my number, texting me at random hours, etc. Don't get me wrong, this girl was gorgeous, and still is in my opinion. I use to watch her butt cheeks as she walked upstairs to her 2nd story apartment. A few nights before I left to go back home, I randomly decided to invite her to a party. She went with me, i knew she would. We fucked. Long Story short, after i got back, it became about a 4 month thing. The whole time i told her i'm leaving after i graduate, blah blah blah. Upfront the whole time. Well due to this girls insecurity, she cheated on me before I left. I was in love with this girl. To this day i can't deny myself responding to her texts, my only relief is that we are so far away that nothing can happen.

This girl hurt me so bad, that I became shut in. I felt i would never love another, etc. etc. Came home and was unemployed for 4 months, got lucky with a decent pay (shitty boss) kinda job. This job, forces me to talk to women. Like not just ugly women, we are talking 9 out of every 10 I talk to are gorgeous. I would meet a more beautiful women everyday. This is a cook job, where the person that orders, has to physically tell you what they want. At first, I was "ya whatever", quite and withdrawn.

Then I had an epiphany, I'm getting paid to flirt. I can lose my job if it's found out I ask these girls out, but i'm the face of this company, I'm paid to make these girls feel good, and when you make a girl feel good, you feel good. It is because I was hurt so bad, I know that I can never be hurt that bad ever again. This, is mistaken by girls as confidence. I stopped caring. I ended up dating tons of 18yr olds, amazing sex, but, as i found out, not what I want. They are children, the emotional and mental connection is next to nil. Which is what you need in a long lasting relationship. Great if you want a piece of ass, great endurance, and some great sex. If that's all you want and you're my age, go for it. But you need a car, a job, and your own place in general. There will be some outliers, but if you can show an 18yr old girl that your independent, and fun (fun consists of taking her to a field and showing her the stars, i know you guys can think of more romantic things than just that), all you need to do is go for the kiss and that's it. They won't say no.

Here's the deal, this will probably go against most of what is put up on this subreddit. You will never find your dream girl if you go by someone else's checklist, or ideals. There are three rules of having a meaningful, deep, sex-filled relationship.

1: Talk. 2: Listen. 3: Be honest.

In that order. Look there tons of guys out there that just want sex, but i feel that atleast some of the people on this sub are ones that are just trying to find a way to have a meaningful relationship with a SO. There is the courage issue, I overcame that, by pain. This may not be you. If you want meaningless sex, then this message is pointless to you. If you want to find the one. Those are the only three rules you need to know. It will not be easy, it will be painful, but it will be worth it.

As far as not knowing what to talk about with a girl, all that shit you think up in your head but say "no i shouldn't say it", say it anyway to them. Honestly, just babble until a girl listens. Make sure it's on topic of the interests that she has told you she's into, which is #2 on the list. This coming from a social akward, average looking guy, that can now walk into any place and get a number; be it a library, grocery store, even a wake (I am not shitting you, i felt bad so i never let anything happen).

You can get your dream girl. It might not be the one you fantasize about in your head, but you can get the one you need. Just please don't think that you will find her, by being an asshole. I saw the "picket fence" vs "smells like sex" article. It's 100% correct if you're looking for meaningless sex with awful girls; but from a picket fence that doesn't smell like sex, i find winners, i don't find sluts.

TL, DR-If you want the girl that's right for you, just babble until someone listens.