Okay, this is the throwaway account. I'll keep this story as short and direct as possible.

I'm in my mid-twenties. I was sexually harassed at 17. I blew a chance to lose my virginity at 21 due to depression. I never got over it. Now sex, women, romance are all tied to those negative feelings. I have to get over that. AASECTS, therapy. Fuck that noise. I need to make more approaches and find real experience.

My uncle died last week, at 50 years old, massive heart attack. Alone. In the dark. I realize I was making the same mistakes he was. I heard about pick up a few years ago. Finally got a copy of BANG. Read it. Lost 20 pounds, bulked up, cleaned up, look good, feel good. Going for my MA which takes up a lot of me time outside of work. Attended a party or two. Actually got some good approaches, numbers, dates, but I never escalated or pursued it. Crushed a few shit tests too.

I despise FA whiners. I don't want to fall down into that angry incel bitterness hole after seeing how my uncle lived and died. I need to find the energy to keep trying. The only advice I got from askseddit was "quit jerking off" which is good advice I think, but I need some more help. Who? What? Where? Do I need one of those dating coach professional PUAs?

I've got some genuine natural friends, real alphas that refuse to look into pick up because they don't need it. I get the "You're a trophy class boyfriend and you don't know it." line a lot. I'm missing out on life.

What's the next step?