Seddit, when you get yourself into a slump, how do you pull yourself out of it?

And if you could, I would really appreciate links to relevant texts or videos, as opposed to the "keep on swinging" aphorisms of the world.

A little background:

I am truly questioning myself at this moment.

I've been in a rut. For considerable time. And I've had cold spells in the past, but for some reason this one's hitting me harder than most. It's bad enough that I'm watching cheesy romantic comedies trying to cheer myself up. Well, that and blow-'em up super hero movies.

Now this slump is probably the result of a few external factors:

  • I'm unemployed. Not because I'm unemployable, but because my work is vaguely seasonal and I'm just starting to reach the point in my career where I have to be a little picky because otherwise it makes me unavailable for more attractive options.
  • Because my previous contract came to an end, I had to move back in with my divorced Mom who drives me crazy.
  • Moving back in with Mom, while affecting my daily feelings of self worth, also has the added bonus of putting me approximately half an hour to an hour's drive away from the majority of venues where I would find the kind of folks I would want to socialize with: both in terms of women and friends.
  • Due to being an absolute idiot, and the fact that nobody walks in LA, I went and got myself a DUI and now refuse to drive even after having one beer, which severely limits the spontaneity that seemed a critical component to my "glory days."
  • I'm getting older. I was never the handsomest guy in the bar, but I used to feel that I was in the top percentiles. Unfortunately, though, life has caught up to me: I'm losing my hair and that actually does affect me, even though I know it shouldn't.

So look, I'm not a newbie to the seduction scene and there was a time when I would get laid pretty regularly, pull a girl pretty regularly and had a degree of confidence in myself. But my dilemma was that I was never getting the girls I really want. I was settling. Far too often and far too low in my opinion. And while yes, I understand how that makes me look, I have to be honest with myself and admit that physical attraction plays a great deal in how I view potential partners. I have blown it with some amazing girls, girls who nurtured and supported me, one whom even set up a "semi-threesome" for me, simply for the asinine reason "they aren't hot enough." I know how stupid of a decision that is. This isn't about that.

At any rate, what may be contributing to this slump is, to rectify this situation, I decided it was about time to up my standards and decide I would only sleep with women that I was truly attracted to. No more settling.

That was step 1.

Step 2 was to force myself to interact with this caliber of woman again, actively seek the venues they frequent, shake off the rust that had accumulated from a year of little socializing and lots of career work. So I did that, I decided I would only go out to places I wanted to go out to, no more "tagging along with my friends" but that I would be the guy that folks wanted to be around. I would make the plans, not find them.

Then it was time to just throw myself completely and totally into this: approach every girl, not give myself time to wish for a perfect opening, but to just be completely spontaneous and enjoy the socializing for what it is. And so that's what I've done for the past two weeks, and even though it didn't result in any sort of physical affection or contact information, sobeit. I felt like I had jumped a serious hurdle, going out there, talking to the prettiest girls, getting shot down, but having some actual conversations in the process. Progress, in the truest sense of the word.

And then there was last Friday night. Now, one thing I've learned in my fitful attempts at this fundamental human skill is your nights depend upon you. If it's a bad night, it's because you didn't approach enough folks, you didn't go out with the right mindset of outcome independence, you stayed in your head and didn't just approach the night for what it was. And if you had a good night, it's usually because you came in with the right mentality, you were open to conversation (and more) with anyone that struck your fancy and voila. Magic happened.

That's what makes this past Friday so confusing to me, because, and granted, I may be rationalizing, it seemed like I set myself up right. I went out with the right mindset, I approached girls with confidence and not after having stared for hours on end, and while my opener wasn't always completely on point, I was utterly rejected each and every time. Now, look, I understand rejection is absolutely part of the game, and I know that I have to continue to practice my social skills, become more natural and loose. But I didn't think I was at the point where girls would pull out their cell phone mid sentence, jump on any opening to avoid talking to me. At least, not any more. I thought I'd progressed from that horrible moment of my life. But there it was. I was getting blown out, and not just "ha ha, that's funny" but "what the hell happened here."

And then, to make matters worse, out of my group of five, four out of the five ended up closing in some manner or another either that night or immediately thereafter. To rub salt in the wound, one of those closes was actually a result of my approach to a group of girls, where one of my friend of a friends decided to swoop in on the prettiest of girls. Another of those closes was a friend whom I originally taught to get girls in the first place.

Owch.

I know, jealousy is not becoming, and I know I should really just congratulate all of them on their good fortune. But I want to be honest about my faults and learn how to overcome them. Hell, that's why I joined this community in the first place.

Here's how I feel now: like I'm missing some basic biological instinct that all other men have, that I am cursed to remain a leper to the women I actually find attractive, and will remain this way until divine providence intervenes. From where I stand, it looks like every other man can be the blind squirrel that eventually finds a nut, so to speak, by just practicing enough, approaching enough women, and finally coming to that epiphany. The funny thing about this all is I know that's not true, conceptually and intellectually, but emotionally, that's where I'm at. It's a great inconsistency in this weird mind of mine.

So there you have it. Has anyone else been here? Particularly the veterans of this scene. The guys who have had their hot runs, but for one reason or another, suddenly found that they'd lost whatever it was they had, and how they got it back.

Any helpful input would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: In a rut, not a newbie, how do I get out?