Hi there! I have the next problem: I'm a normal workaholic programmer and for me it's really difficult to informally communicate with random people. Not even the communication with the girls, not even sexual context communication: just general communication with random people of both sexes.

I know that advanced guys can easily start and keep easy talkings with strangers, finding new and new themes for conversations (and new and new common grounds, which are usually much more than it seems previously). And even if the interlocutor is not very similar with them (education, social group, job sphere and so on), they are always able to find the words and expressions that their vis-a-vis will understand.

Moreover, advanced guys don't afford themselves neither strained pauses nor obnoxious chatter. And some even can use intonating, gestures, mymics and so on (and not anyhow, but strictly according to the situation and their needs).

So, it's no wonder that their interlocutors treat them much better than me. And with great pleasure tell them many interesting things (and sometimes give tons of useful advices). Their whole life becomes easier. For me such things happen only by rare chances.

Haven't you heard about some courses and lessons where the adults are taught informal communications? Or something else that can teach me not to be a zombie?