So basically, i have come to the realisation that i am more attracted to emotionally damaged woman. Looking back i notice an pattern in woman which i have dated more seriously that they all have some emotional problems like depression, borderline etc. I have been with woman without obvious emotional bagage, although i feel way less engagement emotionally.

In my eyes there can be several reasons for this, these include:

  1. They are damaged which makes me able to relate to them better since i have issues myself.

  2. I romanticize mental illness

  3. I am more intimidated by emotionally healthy woman

  4. I have some sort of "saviour" syndrome

  5. I am not emotionally healthy myself

  6. ????

So i came to strongly realize this pattern when i noticed some burn spots on the arms of a girl i have been having a sexual / emotional relationship with recently. Obviously, i encouraged her to stop doing that because it concerns me, on the other hand i thought it also was pretty hot. My reaction in myself obviously concerns me.

I know the ego can play many tricks and can mask the real reason for certain behaviour on a pretence which would be least damaging for the ego.

Like many people, i want to sort myself out and become a more healthy and better individual. Therefore, i wonder if anyone has experience and maybe can offer me some insight or display some contradictions which i cannot see myself.

Background info: -Male -24 -Average experience with woman ( 3 serious relationships, some flings / o.n.s ) -Finds commitment difficult -very social on good days, anxious and low mood on bad days. -history of substance abuse (although recently i have made big steps on improving there)

This is pretty personal stuff, the internet is one of the few places i feel comfortable sharing this.

Thank you.