So, I'm not sure where to go with this, but I've been following /r/seduction for quite a while and I don't think I would be having this particular problem otherwise, so here goes.

I keep getting pulled.

I'll go out to the bar with the intention of just having fun. I read some advice here recently that said to just go out without the intention of hitting on anyone. So I go out, talk to strangers, have a good time and all, but by the end of the night I just sort of end up getting laid by accident.

Trouble is, I don't like one night stands, especially when it's with someone I'm not attracted to and I feel like it's really degrading my character and sense of self. On the other hand though, it is really freaking cool and good for my confidence that I keep getting laid without putting in any effort.

it's just that I would much rather put in effort and be the one that's actively bringing home more "quality people" with a mutual connection or attraction.