Background Info Hello everyone, I've lurked this sub for around 1 year or 2, I'm 23M with very few girl experiences and therefore, I'm writing here to tell you a bit of my stories so you can do different. I like to say we learn 70% from our mistakes and 30% from others, so here's my 30%!

Mistake #1 So I was going out on a normal day and went to meet a (girl) friend, she asked me if I wanted to meet some of her (girl) friends and I obviously said yes! So I met the girls and I started mocking them in a fun way, not making physical remarks about them, but rather calling them lazy and telling them to talk instead of hearing me and my friend discuss random chit chat.

I went home and I had a FB friend request from one of the girls. I accepted and carried on with my daily random internet browsing. Suddenly I get a message on FB saying "hiiiii" (with a lot of 'i's), I was like "ok... let's see where this goes". So we talked all night on FB and she was clearly sending IOIs, we talked for 2 more days and things were getting pretty sexual by that time, I had some exams so I couldn't meet up with her. When I finally had the chance I invited her for some coffee, things were a bit awkward for both of us when we met again since we talked a lot of things with no "pressure" and face to face was a little tricky. We finally got along pretty nice and she invited me to see her house, I accepted and lost track of time chatting with her, ended up losing my bus and had to walk like 30min to get home. She asked if I wanted to stay for the night and grab a bus the next day. I stayed.

At this point I haven't really kissed her so I asked her directly "Can I kiss you?", she said yes so I did, after that I stopped, kissed her again 3 more times and she said we needed to get some sleep. This happened for 3 more days and we were very sexual on texting and FB and very passive when "in persona". She eventually texted me one day saying "don't you kinda want to have sex with me?", of course I said yes I mean... who doesn't? But it all felt unnatural, she was the one who "approached" me and I felt weird when with her. We were already calling each other "love" and all of that but our physical connection was awkward.

Next day I started escalating and she was refusing it so I stopped, found out later she was on her period and didn't want her first time with me to be a "bloody hell". She left town 3 days after that to return in 2 months. Since I didn't have more targets I decided to wait. She got tired of that and after 1 month she said it would never work out. I have failed.

Do you know why I failed? She was desperate for a male partner, she was pretty but a little bit chubby and with low self-esteem. I was lonely and "accepted" her in my life, worst move ever, she had the male role and my brain was "all in" on her having the male role, that was probably why I didn't escalate, I froze most days, there was a day when I kissed her passionately because I was drunk and not caring about the outcome but I froze when I thought about having sex with her, it felt so unnatural. Also I took her for granted since we were exchanging lot of "love" through our devices.

TL;DR: Girl approached me, took her for granted, slept with her but failed miserably to f-close.

Mistake #2 This was a more recent event, I met a girl in a party and found out she likes the same things I did, she liked metal, gaming and drinking. Also she was very attractive! I made a connection and even took her home (no k-close) that day, I started seeing her as a friend first because I was into her since she was attractive and all but I didn't want to get myself too attached so I wouldn't look needy.

I casually sent her a "hi" on FB and I talked a lot to her when I saw her at some local clubs. One day she was bored and started chatting with me on FB. I was bored so I have it a try. We ended up talking from 1AM to 8AM, I literally had to say goodbye to her because I was sleepy and she was like "oh we were talking so nicely, I really like talking to you :(". She also implied that she wanted a fwb relationship because she had a bad time with long time relationships. On our conversation we had something in common, we both loved Desperados beer. She invited me to have some someday and I immediately said "SURE, FRIDAY!" (it was Sunday when I said that). I kept giving her my usual "hi"s on FB and when it finally was Friday she had forgotten about it. I felt bad but said "Hey, it's not too late!" and she said "Yes, but I'm meeting some friends who are on town today, we can meet up later ;)". We ended up meeting and having regular beer, I didn't escalate with her that day. I finally had a "Desperados day" with her and also didn't escalate, I was waiting for the "right chance".

After some days she ended up f-closing one of my friends and I felt very bad, not because I was seeing her as relationship material or oneitis but because I have failed when I had clear chances, a friend of mine said I tried to kiss her when I was almost blackout drunk one day and I didn't even remember, I had lost her before that day.

TL;DR: Missed clear opportunities to k-close and missed them because I was insecure, the girl was into me but then a friend of mine "took" her from me.

So you see, my insecurities blocked me from having really good times with these girls, I had a girlfriend before who cheated on me probably because I took her for granted too, I can say I have some social skills and can build connections but escalating has been my problem, since my ex there have been some chances like these (fewer interactions) and I couldn't escalate, I got over her really quick so it's not her that's blocking me, it's myself. I feel awkward to escalate sometimes, guess I'm not used to it anymore or I have less confidence. I'm not here asking for tips or anything but you're free to add some, do so if you want. I'm always looking forward to improve!

P.S. - I consider my English very legible but if anything is not clear enough just tell me, I ain't a native speaker!