I am thinking of getting a coach to improve my success with women. Any recommendations? I really like the style/philosophy of "the Natural lifestyle" guys, but they don't offer a long term coaching as far as I know. They have some skype session, but it is a fucking 250euros per hour!

I have tried to list what I want, and what I think are my advantages/disadvantages.

What I am looking for:

-I have no intention of sleeping with a new chick every week

-I don't like bars and clubs. So only interested in settings like day time interactions on the street/metro/cafes, social circle, meetups, private parties, etc

-I am very fit, has very good sense of style...so don't need any fitness/fashion advice

-not interested in online dating, tinder, etc...

  • not interested in weekend bootcamps, ebooks, evolutionary psychology discussions, or few days of "residental programs" that cost 10s of thousands of dollars. Looking for a long term, but gradual coaching that I slowly incorporate into my life. The same way as a running program, where you tell the coach I want to do a marathon in x months, and I want to finish in this time, and I am willing to spend this much time per week on it, and give me a program where I have to do something everyday to achieve that

  • I am aware that serious change requires serious work, so not expecting instant results. Willing to work on this for several months, or if needed, even years on it. After many years of denial that there are other things more important like work, finance, friends, fitness, etc.. I now admit that be in control of ones sex/love life is one of the most important, if not the most important, aspect of a man's life.

-Ideal dating life: An open relationship with an amazing woman, and have some good affairs on the sides...not interested at all in one night stands and random hookups, unless circumstances force like (like meeting a girl while traveling)

Second best scenario: a monogamous relationship, but the woman has to be fantafuckingtastic!

Shortcomings/difficulties?

-I am 40, (though I can easily pass for 28) and I am only attracted to younger women, specifically 22 to 28 range, unless they are in amazing shape

  • My job is quite demanding, sometime working 60 to 70 hours a week, and on top of that ,i am addicted to running and exercising, so I spend 10-15 hrs a week on that (but willing to cut down on that, because I feel some of it is "running away" from boredom of not having the love/sex life I want)

  • though I have a very good social circle, all my good friends are married with kids or in a long term relationship, so most times I go out, I am the only single person in the group...

-I am an African, working in Sweden now... why is that a disadvantage:

  • though Swedes are not that racist, and it is not difficult to find one night stands, when it comes to relationships, they prefer either Swedes or other europeans/americans/australian, where the culture is very similar. and as I have stated above, I am not looking into random hookups, so I have to overcome this "stigma"

  • the social norm completely baffles me here ... be completely closed from monday to friday, and then go out and get completely drunk and end up with someone..I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than go that path. Also, people really don't even great each other on the streets, elevators, etc... -i have been rusty for the last couple of years. Last relationship ended August 2016. After that no relationship and only three flings...e.g. last year, I had sex only 4 times, and none since September

Advantages

-I have had some crazy sex life, but only in some closed kink/tantra circles (i.e. no real seduction involved, you meet people at sex parties, etc...). So very open minded about sex

  • I travel a lot for work. 2-3 times per year to Asia, 2-3 times per year to US/Canada, and several times to European countries. So not stuck to Sweden.

-maybe the closedness of the society here is a blessing in disguise, in a sense that not so much "competition"out there when it comes to meeting women in the day time and more natural setting, if I start doing it properly