Maintaining attraction.

GameAndGains · 2018-02-03T15:33:25+00:00

Sounds like you replaced one oneitus with another one...

2018-02-03T15:35:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Maikowski2 · 2018-02-03T16:05:37+00:00

Keep dating and see where it goes. Just until you fuck her, do not commit to her in any shape or form. Stay stoic and fun.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-02-04T18:50:45+00:00

____1____

How do I prevent this fizzling out

You don't.

More precisely, you have no control over whether it will "fizzle" out or not. ALL romantic/sexual interactions end, one way or another, if you really think about it.

But that's besides the point, isn't it? The issue is not that whether it fizzles or not. The issue is that you think this stage you're at now, is a stepping stone. You think that she'll come around to wanting a relationship with you.

This isn't likely, based on what you've said.

____2____

and escalate it to where I want it to be?

spfx1 had it right. You can't force her to be where you want her to be, emotionally. Remember what you told us she said?

She mentioned the other night she doesn't want a relationship right now.."but you knew that anyway, right?"

This means that you're a fling. A rebound. An FWB.

So make your peace with that.

Or if you don't want that, then stop having casual sex with her.

____3____

What you think you want is wrong.

I'm sorry, what? You said you want a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing pie in the sky or idealized about that. No one here should be trying to push you into settling for casual sex when you said very clearly that you don't want that, you want a relationship.

And on that note, this girl doesn't want a relationship with you. If that's what you want with her, then you should end things now and go back to being friends with her.

____4____

Almost everyone does this; has expectations and definitions of what a 'perfect relationship is' and ruins it when they try to force it into that.

Wrong. OP, this is changing the subject, unintentionally. You weren't talking about a "perfect relationship," so this is irrelevant to you. You said:

I've got to the stage now where I want to be in a relationship instead of fucking randoms.

This has nothing to do with perfection. You're stating a clear desire, and a completely reasonable one. You want to be in a relationship, not having casual sex. Nothing about that is forcing a damn thing. What's forcing it, is forcing yourself to fit into a casual sex arrangement when that's not what you want.

____5____

My advice- ask yourself what is 'wrong' with how it's going now? You like her; she's attracted to you; you're talking, flirting and having sex.

What's wrong with it, is that she SAID she doesn't want a relationship with you.

And you DO want a relationship.

So sticking around at this point, with a girl who's possibly down with an FWB arrangement, and trying to change her into a relationship, is a terrible idea.

Girls try to do this to guys. Guys try to do this to girls. Either way, it usually ends poorly.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-02-04T19:01:13+00:00

This belongs in /r/askseddit as it is asking advice for a specific situation / girl

This will stay in spam filter, please repost in the AskSeddit subreddit.(Not askREDDIT, but askSEDDIT)

Please read RULES & GUIDELINES. This post is answered by many SIDEBAR guides.

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

Also, don't worry about it! You didn't do anything wrong since you didn't know

Title	Maintaining attraction.
Author	Pascals5foldacca
Upvotes	27
Comments	7
Date	February 3, 2018 1:49 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7uzebg/maintaining_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/maintaining-attraction.1288821 https://theredarchive.com/post/1288821

Comments