I'm a grown man with a voice that isn't masculine. I've always talked in a high tone, and was constantly made fun of during high school and my military service. This caused me to sink into depression, and is also part of the reason why I have social anxiety.

 

What's more, I've been told that I walk and talk like I'm gay, which has caused some social issues when it comes to romance. Don't get me wrong, I've had relationships, but I've reached the point where I'm afraid of even approaching a woman because I just don't want her to be turn off by my voice. I've had 3 chances to get with this woman I knew in high school, and I ran away from all of them because I thought I would just screw things up.

 

I'd also like to point out that people have laughed in my face once they've heard my voice. I've walked into places of business, and have had employees try their hardest to keep their composure. I've had people question my military background during telephone interviews, which I assume my voice is the cause of it. And I think, to some extent, my voice has been a factor in why my career search is practically barren. I remember when I was nearing the end of my military enlistment, and applied for this security position at a nuclear plant in Alabama. I had the security clearance and the experience for the position, and was even informed this via email when I was setting up my phone interview appointment. But when I had the phone interview, I could hear it in the interviewer's voice that I wasn't getting hired. I've been told not to worry about my voice, but I have to because some people simply don't want to work with people they think live a certain lifestyle. And I don't have a problem with gay people, but it just bugs me that people don't view me as a straight man.

 

All of this has essentially killed what little confidence in myself that I did have. It got so bad that I gave up and had planned to kill myself, but I couldn't do it. I decided to continue living and doing my best to be the best me that I can be, but I get incredibly discouraged when I see/hear the verbal and non-verbal responses people make when I interact with them. I pretend to be oblivious to it all, and keep a stone face, but the strange void that I feel in my chest is always there. I just need some help. I'm tired of being laughed at, and mocked.