Rivalry definitely isn't the right term, but i couldn't think of the right phrase. Anyway, i live in a large village, theres a massive community and most people have known eachother through high school or college, theres a few pubs and a bar that stays open later than the rest, everybody ends up there and its a great place to end up if you dont want to have to pay for a taxi home as its easily in walking distance to where you live. So tonight, theres a guy(i'll call him Ben) out who used to bully me in high school, he's the biggest alpha douche bag you can imagine, i dont hate the guy, but for obvious reasons i've always held a grudge and i cant see how we'll ever be friends.

I've been pretty ill all week and just started to feel better these past 2 days, i decided to just go out with friends and get drunk rather than try to chat to any girls because i really was not in the mood. Anyway, after a few drinks this gorgeous red head walks into the bar, i'm pretty tempted to go over but because i'd said i wasn't going to, i let the AA get the better of me. I go about my night having a good night with friends despite the fact that i hadn't approached earlier.

Anyway, i see Ben chatting to this red head and it crushed me because i hadn't approached earlier and it felt like he was getting one over on me(stupid i realise). After a while, i see him just stand up and walk away and she looks pretty shocked that he's just got up and left cause he's bored or whatever, it's a pretty bold move. Stupidly, i thought this was my chance and 5 minutes later i made the approach as she was doing shots at the bar. I said something about her lack of company for the amount of shots she'd bought herself and then we continued to chat.....about what, i really couldnt tell you, i just know that it was full of me asking questions that really didn't interest her. Everything i said was unimpressive, uninteresting and i could see any chance of a close failing before my eyes. Routines have never been my thing, but i've never tried so hard to think of something that might impress her or win her over, it was pathetic and even at the time i knew it. I had got so focused on trying to 'beat' Ben in a competition that only existed inside my own head, i had reverted back to that unconfident, shy kid i was in high school.

The bar closed and she walked off with her friends as i was chatting to some of mine. Outside, across the road, Ben approached her and without spending much more than a minute with her again, ended up k-closing. Best lesson i've learnt so far.

You're probably wondering what the fuck im on about, and what the point of this post is. I guess what i really want to get across is just to let go of your ego, on an approach it has to be about just you and the girl who you're approaching. If your competition is a douche you've known for 5 minutes or 5 years, it really doesn't matter, learn to let go of that bullshit, you're better than that and you know it, you have to know it without trying to prove it to yourself.

This is my first ever post to reddit, im not sure if its even helpful to anyone, i hope it is, but i'm creating it to remind myself that i joined 'seddit' to learn how to better myself in more than just attracting women. Many people speak of 'inner game' around here, and after this experience i realise one thing thats keeping me from that.

If you've got to the end of this post and feel like you want to punch me, here's one of my favorite clips to cheer you up!

http://youtu.be/96bttKznyG8