Not Your Typical Problem...

Scrub_TLC · 2016-07-13T09:39:04+00:00

Honestly, seeing multiple women at once is the best way to handle it. For the most part it keeps them interested cause you are the chase. It sends a clear signal that you are in the market and not settling for any one thing just yet, why would you? I generally disclose the fact I am seeing other women at some point after sex (protected) you don't owe anyone anything. Lots of girls see and fuck multiple guys at once and have done so for years. Generally I bring up the fact I'm seeing other people casually at a matter of conversation, rather than specifically, and I speak of it as though it would be assumed, rather than surprising. Sometimes after we fuck I tie a girl up or do something else kinky before we fuck again and when they say how many girls have you done this with. that is the opportunity. Own your masculinity don't apologize for it and women will respect you for being honest with them. Lot's of women have been cheated on so even if they would prefer to be exclusive with you they will respect you for not lying. Once again lots of women see more than one guy at a time and are not exclusive sexually so to assume that the two of you are or bring it up before you f-close is just weird, don't unless the individual case seem like you should. I saw a girl recently and disclosed i was seeing other ppl before sex because it seem like she might get hurt if i did not and she fucked me anyway and dated me so all good my friend. I have not had a single negative reaction since i started living my life this way. Most women date very casually, so when they hear about how I date and fuck it's not alarming to them most don't even seem shocked or bothered just like okay thanks for telling me. I always offer discloser and discussion or dont ask dont tell. Some take one some take the other. Some talk about the guy/guys they are seeing and we just have open conversations. It's really pretty wonderful!!!!

recyclablebanthas · 2016-07-13T09:56:36+00:00

How can I let them know gently, yet firmly, when I do know, that I want a romance with them (be it short or long term), but not a serious long-term monogamous relationship? I don't want to lead them on, but at the same time want to have great experiences with them.

This is one of those occasions where you probably can't have your cake and eat it too. If you can't or don't want to "hold back" then the price for that is that is probably screening out the girls who are looking for something serious. Because girls looking for something serious, are attuned to cues that sub-communicate when someone is ready to settle down. Similarly, girls who are looking for something casual, will be screened out if you put off the vibe that you want something serious.

So if you know it's something serious early on, then hold back a little on the sex and build up at least a couple dates before starting the sex life up.

In any case, it'll probably help you to start having a firm idea about what you'll say in The Talk with these women. I agree with James Marshall on this: one ought to address this soon after sex happens. Probably soon after the first time you have sex, if you want to be safe. I highly recommend listening to Marshall's example of The Talk in a talk he gives about this. And bear in mind that you basically need to make a decision and own it at this point. You can give the talk he gives, which preps her for casual and probably lessens the chance of anything serious. Upside to this is that people won't be hurt as much, you'll be in a position to gather multiple partners without drama.

If you want something serious, you could take your time getting to the sex. (Kissing, sure, but not pushing hard for sex or even waiting if she's ready early.) This is a risk because you'll screen out girls only after casual. You could possibly give an altered version of Marshall's talk but to state that you're looking for something serious. But honestly, taking the slow approach to sex and engaging in the typical PDAs like walking around holding hands, would probably set you on that path well enough.

But trying to hedge your bets to leave both options open, probably won't work. Seriously minded girls will think you're playing games and feel like they need more relationship security than you're offering. And casual girls might be put off if you commit to actions and/or words that indicate you're serious.

You're likely going to have to choose one or the other early on. Good thing you usually know if you consider a girl a long term prospect. I think it's a small sacrifice to make, to just go casual with a girl if you aren't sure early on before the Talk has to come up.

iAmSaRtini · 2016-07-16T05:05:20+00:00

You have a high level of intellect with a deep love of people. Right? Right. Sounds to me like you're just tryin to live life and be free. However, your feeling of freedom is restricted by your natural love of people. I think you need to convey your love of freedom to your girls. Be straight up. Explain that you're a free spirt and they're welcome to be free with you and see how it goes. Let them know what you're about upfront and then, if they want to travel with you, and see where the wind takes you, that's on them. ... That was either a great response or a lame one! haha Let's chat about it!

Title	Not Your Typical Problem...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	5
Date	July 13, 2016 8:41 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4sm4y5/not_your_typical_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-your-typical-problem.1409527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1409527

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