Outcome independence?

Longtime lurker, looking forward to jumping into the discussion with you guys :)

A reoccurring theme around seddit, and many sites promoting success oriented thinking is, "Outcome Independence." With the jist of it being, to my understanding, "Doesn't really matter what happens, I'll be alright."

My job, and various hobbies, are very outcome dependent. So my mentality is all about making it fucking work, at all costs. I'm worried that mentality bleeds into my dating life, friendships, and contaminates my thought patterns.

Background: I'm 20, a solider, hobbies include; dicking around with electricity, lock picking, and fixing anything broken. I'm a combat engineer so I work with mines/other explosives. Fucking up means loss of life or limb or money.

Final thoughts/direction for you guys: I really like the idea of outcome independence (OID), and I want to make it part of my life. To a degree, I have, but I feel as if when I approach a situation, a girl, a group, new place, I'll only be open to it if I'm confident that I can make it work. I'm only picking the low hanging fruit. Do I just need to expand what I think I'm capable of? Do I need to draw a line between 'success' and coming out alive? Is compartmentalizing my social and work life something to consider? I want your help sorting out what exactly OID means to us and how we apply it.

I'm excited for your thoughts and follow ups, -ETshock

[–]MatCreatesStuff 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

As a guy who's too ugly and worthless to attract women, I'm automatically outcome independent (it always ends the same, so I don't care any more). Here are some major keys to apply it to your own life...

Focus on fun. I've worked in party environments where other guys would get blowjobs on the job. Obviously girls wouldn't do all that with me, but I would still do dumb shit like lap dances, or taking off my shirt and climbing on chairs (then getting caught by chef).
Remember that people often do things or say things due to social pressure or Machiavellian ideas. Girls will act like w/e but might slip you her number when no one's watching. Take nothing personal.
Give yourself options. If you're a soldier, I magically assume you're buff or at least disciplined enough to become attractive. If so, then you can get like the men who attract women by doing basically nothing. Once you have options of which girl you want, rejections here and there are irrelevant. If you're referring not to attracting girls, but friends... No clue. I don't make friends. 🤔

[–]ExitTheShock[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MatCreatesStuff 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nope. It's more that I've been oblivious to basic things like style, sex appeal and social skills for many years. How I feel about myself makes little difference.

I'm reminded of SpongeBob's initial confusion when Plankton asked him what "fun" means. Basically go in as a comedian (if that's your style), but at the very least NEVER go in serious/nervous... it's uncomfortable. In my case, since I worked at the place, I mainly turned basic job duties into jokes where I could. When I came back a 2nd time to check if a group of girls were finished eating, I said "Hey. Like Chris Brown said: You know what I came to do." They laughed and one of them said I'm very smooth. Which is important, b/c guests hate feeling rushed. Also, I would be picking up people's food, and I would start dancing (I can't dance) to the Beyonce music in the background. I then started twerking (badly), and the girls cheered. Also I love photobombing. If you do that, then it's an easy way (I would think) to transition to being in their photos, and taking pics, asking for numbers, etc. Last time I checked, pretty girls don't mind if you take their pic. Here's an example of some girls who had me take a souvenir pic of them, then I took one for myself: https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e35/12822328_1031176700259665_573394946_n.jpg I forgot to tell them when to smile.
This sort of thing has happened to me. Obviously I was the "beta" in that context. It happens especially from attractive girls. I've noticed, for a few years now, that attractive girls act as if I'm pestering them (I rarely even talk to them), but they suddenly become friendly with other men. Then I'll walk past old women who act normal.
Good to hear. It's always nice for me to make fun of the liars who keep telling me looks don't matter. Yes, as women continue to fondle attractive men, it's really their Tourette's flaring up. They have no clue what their hand is doing so close to dude's crouch.

Title	Outcome independence?
Author	ExitTheShock
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	July 8, 2017 8:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6m3b31/outcome_independence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/outcome-independence.1430134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1430134

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