Really Need Some Advice

IWriteForGroupies · 2017-09-22T13:48:45+00:00

This is a question I would like to ask the ladies on reddit.

I am a guy.

For the past year or so I started falling for a girl I've know for about 8 years

8 year fixation on one girl

always got this feeling that she fancied me

So you had indications of interest and did nothing.

Well about 2 years ago I got a new puppy and since we lived close by she would often call me to walk the puppy together and we'd spend about 2 hrs walking and chatting.

So she found an excuse to be alone with you.

The thing is, at the time I was hoping to get with someone else and didn't pay much attention to her.

You had all this time to make a move and did nothing because you were hoping for something else. Sounds like a poor excuse.

Now, after spending some time with her I realized she's an awesome person, really down to earth, I love her character and I would like nothing more than to have a shot with her.

I am starting to think that you may not understand seduction. You need to show interest and make a move.

The only problem is that once I started liking her more and more she's become more distant

Well I believe after her showing interest in you for multiple years and not receiving a reasonable response, it might be a good idea for her to move on.

Last year she visited the states and would sometimes write to me, this year she's over there again and hasn't written anything, only replied when I wrote to her.

It is possible that she has found another guy.

What should I do ?

You should make your interest known and go from there.

I will not make your decisions for you. There are not perfect answers. You either do or you do not.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-09-22T17:29:08+00:00

__1: Wrong sub, but the right one__

This is a question I would like to ask the ladies on reddit.

You do realize that you've posted on AskSeddit, right? Asking a question directly to the ladies here is probably one of the best ways to come off like a bit of a doofus. I mean, you're asking this question on a forum full of dudes who have made a study of how to get at the ladies. And your move is to say to 95% of the people who would read your post, that you don't want to hear from them?

LOL?

Anyway, I'm going to ignore your ridiculous limitation because being a lady isn't require do advise on this matter. AT ALL.

__2: One month window, maybe two__

For the past year or so I started falling for a girl I've know for about 8 years

Look, you started off badly. Your window to make a move is usually like a MONTH. After that, it's likely that she'll have assumed you have either rejected her or don't have the balls to make a move. And that likely happened more than seven years ago.

__3: Squandered, sadly__

....we haven't really hung out much in the first 6 years....

See, this would have been a saving grace for you, but then.....

.....about 2 years ago.....I was hoping to get with someone else and didn't pay much attention to her.

You followed it up by again, not making a move until well after the month mark.

__4: You rejected her__

Now, after spending some time with her I realized she's an awesome person..... once I started liking her more and more she's become more distant

Depending on whether she was interested either time, you rejected her at least once or twice. Of course she's going to be more distant. So even if you had a chance this second time around, you passed the one month mark AGAIN without making a move, months ago.

__5: You don't escalate with an awkward confession__

I never actually said anything to her about my feelings.

If you're implying that this is something you should have done, or that it's something you could do now as a Hail Mary, you're wrong.

The fact that you didn't put an awkward confession out there is one of the only things you got right in this.

Confessing about your feelings, when you haven't physically escalated with someone, is pretty much the final nail in the coffin if you still had a chance. And if you have already screwed yourself out of any chance, it's not going to help any: it's just going to make shit more awkward.

__6: Take the lesson and move on__

What should I do ?

Move on. If you're honest with yourself, you found excuses not to take action at least once, if not twice. Next time you have to strike while the iron is hot. Making all the excuses in the world as to why you didn't act (like, you wanted to date some other girl), won't change the fact that a girl isn't going to wait for you to figure out that she's "awesome."

__7: Don't offer to meet her at the airport__

Also, I don't know if she's got anyone to pick her up from the airport when she arrives. Should I offer to do so or not ?

Yikes. NO. You're really grasping for straws. If you were a boyfriend or a friend on a level of being like family, then sure. But in the current state of things, she isn't communicating except in response if you write first. You're not at a level that would warrant suggesting you meet her at the airport. That would be awkward.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated so thank you guys in advance and have a great day/night.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-09-22T17:31:42+00:00

This belongs in /r/askseddit as it is asking advice for a specific situation / girl

This will stay in spam filter, please repost in the AskSeddit subreddit.(Not askREDDIT, but askSEDDIT)

Please read RULES & GUIDELINES. This post is answered by many SIDEBAR guides.

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

Also, don't worry about it! You didn't do anything wrong since you didn't know

HybridReaper90 · 2017-10-04T09:46:26+00:00

Thank you all for the feedback, really appreciate the answers. Gonna try to escalate things when she gets back since we've already discussed going out for drinks once she gets back. I'll keep in mind the fact that under no circumstances should I make my feelings for her known up-front. And you guys are saying that even though we've already discussed going out for drinks once she gets back, if she doesn't say anything I shouldn't even try contacting her and asking her out for drinks? Thank you all again.

Title	Really Need Some Advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	September 22, 2017 1:33 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/71r03y/really_need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/really-need-some-advice.1434129 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434129

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