So, I’m not bad with girls but I’m working on my relationship skills. I seem to be able to get ‘em into bed but have a harder time locking down the GF. After a break from dating I’ve been getting back on the streets and I notice on the second date I seem to start getting shit tests from the ladies.

First Lady (I almost passed but ultimately failed this one): had a great first date - made out in her car, she texted me all the time, even had another night where I stayed at her place. Second date was confirmed for dinner but I felt her vibe shift. I knew the test was coming.

Right before the date she calls me to say that her friends friend (a guy) is passing through town and wanted to take them all out for dinner and asked if I’d be cool with doing that instead. It smelled weird but after consulting my dad I went (others have said I should have just not gone).

She was cold AF to me the whole time, haha. I took it with stride all the way there and at the restaurant she flirted with the guy the whole time. I wouldn’t say I flirted with her friends, but we did laugh and joke around. I didn’t get or act butt hurt.

As I expected the next week she texted me like nothing happened. I got back to her and she had heard through a mutual friend what I thought of the night. She apologized but reassured me that she “certainly wasn’t flirting” - I failed here. Got pissed, reactive and called her out. Her interest went down. We’re not talking now.

Second Lady (still in progress): met her, got her number, took her out dancing, ate tacos had a blast. Noticed she was texting a guy a little bit, decided to play this one a little colder. Didn’t kiss her at the end and just acted kind of distant. She texted me the next day and..but I probably asked for another date too soon.

Still she came out to one of my shows (I’m a musician and it helps guys but you STILL gotta have game!) and found her way up to me to talk with me. My friend said she seemed like she liked me.

Turned out she was in a long distance with the guy she was texting, which we correctly predicted would end within two weeks. Saw that it ended on fb. Asked her to come to a freakin Bob Dylan (I got two free tickets) concert the day before. She was like “oh yay! That sounds awesome! I’ll meet you there” seemed on it.

This is where I think I fucked up and didn’t consider her comfort cuz I said I’d pick her up (which she said she was fine with but I intuited that we should meet up)-when it came time to determine the meet up she disappeared. No text, no explanation. I was a little bummed but I know what a shit test is. I was persistent in trying to make the meet up happen but gave her no shit or butt hurt vibes.

My prediction is that this girl will text me next week like nothing has happened. I will be chill.

I might have not built enough comfort with this girl too. Could’ve scared her off by playing it TOO cool while also pushing to chill w some neediness vibes. Workin on it!

I’m not gonna react...haha I know I have options but I’m just curious. Why these shit tests on the second date, in particular? Has anyone else had this experience? They say a woman will test your weakest part so maybe they’re testing my confidence.