Some people aren't gonna like this guide. But if you're willing to go against societal conformity to realize your potential, go ahead. Quick note - this is for intermediates; specifically those who show their confidence in public and receive "tests" from people. If you go out in public without catching attention, this guide might set you back more than it could help.

Here's some "tests:" women saying things around you meant to have you react emotionally. Men and women staring at you for what seems like no reason. People calling you out for being "fake," or being offended by how confident or aloof you seem. This guide is written with men in mind, but can be read as these behaviors occuring to women by other women. First, we'll look at these behaviors: why they happen and certain desired outcomes.

  1. Feminine Gossip and "Tests"

Yes, women will "test" potentially strong men to see what makes you break. This is natural and beneficial for womenkind in general, so accept this without getting bitter. They will say anything and everything to you and around you. Ideal Outcome: ignore it for what it is - cute babble. Most men get uncomfortable by tests and gossip, so if you can bypass it as nothing (because it is) you'll stick out as "strong."

  1. Staring while You're looking at something Else

Women stare if they like your look, you know this. But why would the same sex stare at you? This is a common subconcious tactic to see if you are as confident as you present yourself. Some do it expecting to see you give a submissive display to their gaze: lowering your chin, wincing, looking down, basically becoming uncomfortable. Do "high-status" people stare at you with this in mind? No, they have no time to spend trying to "see" through you; they don't care whether you crumble, only that you keep realizing your potential. Ideal Outcome: you ignore it. You could befriend them, but they've already shown they think you're "higher-status" than them. This doesn't usually happen to average guys and girls.

  1. People Calling You Out

People will call you out for being "fake" if you're unused to being confident in public: if you're new to holding your head up instead of staring at the ground or new to walking with swagger instead of that average sway most people do. Why do they do this? Simple enough: they see you trying to break out of your old identity and feel threatened that they would never have the courage to do the same. Ideal Outcome: ignore it. See the pattern? You have to remember: none of these behaviors are about you at all (except when the opposite sex try it on you). People only see snapshots of you in public, and try to assume your entire personality based on that and their own internal insecurities and biases. Now though, how do you use these behaviors to your advantage?

You are better than this small subsection who display these behaviors.

That's right, that minority of people that try to take out their insecurities on you? You're objectively better than them. Why? Because this sort of behavior speaks to a profound internal weakness - read between the lines - this person is saying "I am so intimidated by you, that I must drag you back down to my level." Secure people don't drag you down, they either build you up or ignore you as just another person going about their business. Accept this. While others display their weakness in pursuit of strength given by others (say by others validating an insult by laughing along), you are internally strong. This is by no means reason to get a big head though - to start treating others in a poor manner - we'll explore why and how next.

Internalize our above fact so deeply that you: are so secured in this knowledge that you - poof - don't have to prove it. This knowledge cannot come from a place of hatred: "You insulted me so I hate you and I'll rebel by saying I'm better than you." This is not strength, this is bitterness covered by a tenuous arrogance. The ideal response to drama? An emotionless and discriminating: "This person cannot control his insecurity, I am better than him because I am in control of my baser emotions and would not display my weaknesses so openly. I can ignore him because he would otherwise provide no value to my life." At this point your "superiority"* is just something that's elementary, like breathing air or walking. This contributes to your internal discipline. It's suddenly no longer about getting defensive or one-upping someone to prove to you and others that you're unaffected (if you have to prove it you are affected). With this mindset - instead of getting heated at any momentary negative interaction, you can rest assured that it's not about you at all; you don't have to engage because you don't have to prove your worth. This person, or "hater," has already shown their "low-status" by their behavior. You discount them and their nonsense. Thus, by refraining from engaging, you inevitably display your "high-status" as a bonus.

A strange phenomenon pops up when you think this way: You can come to love these people. Because you were once exactly like them (possibly, I'm speaking more on my behalf for this section). Once your emotions settle to them, these people aren't competition anymore. They're just misguided people, something to be pitied at worst. You can come to love them because they're "lower" than you, perhaps as estranged cousins trying to get their life back together after they messed up heavily. You know you would never commit the same mistakes, but you can see how if you grew up slightly different, you could. We'll now explore why other mindsets are suboptimal.

  • Say we approach life thinking these "haters" are our equals. Some part of you will inevitably think: "what if they have a point?" Thus, doubt creeps in. You inherently give their statements credibility. You now have to pay attention to every statement you hear because there might be a nugget of truth. Anxiety starts. With our previous mindset, you can discount any and every statement from a "hater" right from the start because they're not on your level. If your tiny 9-year-old cousin Timmy came up to you and called you a booger-eater, would you stop and try to see truth in it? No, because he's not really your equal; you don't take him seriously. Same idea applies. The worst mindset we'll explore next.

  • How about calling these "haters" your bullies - as "higher-status" than you by virtue of power? Well now you've established your victimhood. You automatically grant these people power over you; needless to say, don't ever do that. But with this mindset you're stuck in this terrible relationship and you become complacent in this acceptance. They offend you, you become uncomfortable and stay that way until you or they leave - showing you they can control your emotions. With our mindset? Sure you become temporarily uncomfortable (it's bound to happen as you get settled in), but you can shake it off quickly and get back to your business without it ruining your day. And as you practice you quickly find nothing shakes you anymore.

  • How about seeing yourself as completely separate from others? I will concede that some can implement this with success. I suspect those who feel rather secure in their lives adopt this naturally. For most however: we are inherently social creatures, and thus will always give and receive feedback among others, no matter how slight. We will always assess people on how they present themselves and comport ourselves accordingly. You won't befriend a red-eyed, booze-addled homeless man. In order to adapt to various social situations, you must know what can and can't be done [you probably won't talk about gruesome deaths outside of your true-crime group]; who's worth your time and who isn't.

And who is worth your time? Positive and growth-oriented people who build up those around them. Become worth their time by growing yourself as similar.

Humans are naturally competitive. Some will see you trying to improve yourself and your position, and they will be offended. As an intermediate, you have chosen this path and you know you will keep moving forward. Hopefully this guide provides you some sense how. There's nothing wrong with thinking you're better than people who try to drag you down. Society will tell you otherwise. The only catch? You actually have to be better.

  • This is not real superiority. If I were to get technical: you are better than the negative image others tend to portray. To truly be superior, you would have to know everything about someone, and compare every aspect of you to every matching aspect of them. This is futile and unrealistic.