Small group social game applies when you are with a group of 4 to 10 guys and girls. You are out to dinner, at a Pre-Game, or sitting at a table in a bar. However, most importantly you are invested in spending time with this group of people for at least a few hours. While there may be a woman of interest to you in the group, this post will focus on making you the leader/ primary interest of the group rather than hitting on a specific person, but for small group social game these are one in the same as being the leader is an extremely attractive trait.

Leadership is built in many ways. You have all seen the guy who meets up with a group at dinner, or shows up to a Pre-game, and the entire group has been awaiting his arrival. He is an Alpha, a leader of men, but most importantly he provides the group with the most important value; FUN. While you need to become this guy through learning game, you can improve your chances of being this guy by doing a few tangible things.

Hosting and organizing: The obvious reason why hosting a dinner/ Pre-game or organizing a meal at a restaurant increases your value in the group is that you can invite who you want. The common interest of the group is that they know you. This automatically puts you in the limelight and people will look to you for guidance. However, there are other things you can do to create an atmosphere that revolves around you.

Dinner Party:

· You already have a meal prepared, but it is what you do after the meal that is more valuable. Have an activity planned, whether it be a venue change or some type of game. Once dinner is done, you continue the fun by already having another event/ activity planned. Thus people are following your lead. During dinner, have a toast ready and thank everyone for coming. This will build your social proof to an even higher level than it already is by organizing and hosting the event.

Pre-Game: · Have supplies for drinking games ready, but don't have them out. Wait till the majority of people arrive and then organize a game of flip cup, Kings, etc. to ensure that you are leading the group. As soon as more people show up, invite them over immediately to join you all. People will see you have taken charge and will naturally look to you for guidance. At this point always be moving the evening forward! You never run a game into the ground where people get bored. You are in charge of keeping the interest high. Remember, people have short attention spans. Use this knowledge to your advantage and once the interest starts to die it is time to change activities or move to your venue of choice for the evening. You should already have a venue lined up for people to go to.

Restaurant: · Get a reservation under your name for a specific table. Whether it is in a back room or isolated in a corner. If possible, make sure that the table stands out more-so than the others. This will give you a bit of social proof and create a better atmosphere than being in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Most restaurants will have better positioned tables than others, and most will accommodate a specific table request. Again, have a toast prepared if it is a larger group, and if needed have a venue change planned so the group is following your lead.

Positioning: Once the group arrives and you are ready to sit down to eat, play games, etc. getting into a physical position of power is key. There are several different things to ask yourself when picking a seat around a table. In this order ask yourself these things:

1) Am I centered where I can speak to everyone at the table?

2) Will I have enough room to take up a lot of space?

· It's more important to be wide, not tall, when you are sitting. Also exaggerate the conversation by using your arms when you are speaking (Just don’t knock over any wine glasses).

3) When people are looking at me will there be the potential for my table mates to be distracted behind me?

Restaurant/ Dinner Party:

· When sitting around rectangular table, think Jesus and the 12 disciples. You want to be smack dab in the middle of the long side. The head of the table secludes you from more than half of the group. Don't sit there even though it is seen as a position of power. More-so, when you are in a restaurant, you want to have your back facing the area where there are the least amount of people to limit distractions behind you. Hence, this is why getting a corner table, or a table near a wall, is important to do through reservations. By doing this, people are able to listen to you without peaking over your shoulder the whole time and potentially getting distracted.

· A square table is all about limiting distractions behind you. Find the edge located on the corner. Space and a center location are not important here due to the type of table.

· The dreaded square table with 5 people is easy. Never be connected to the side with 3 people sharing the corner, and position yourself with the least amount of distractions behind you. This maximizes your space and the 3 people side will already be positioned to look directly at you.

· Circle table is also fairly easy, it is all about being on the side with the least amount of distractions. Space is not an issue and no one is really in the center of the table.

· The booth should be avoided at all costs, but if you get stuck in one try and grab the edge of the table and bring up a chair. You usually sacrifice distractions behind you for the ability to get all eyes on you and to maximize your space. If it is an extremely long booth treat it exactly like a rectangular table and get towards the center so you can speak with everyone.

Pre-Game "Games":

· Flip Cup should be treated the same way as a rectangular table. Place yourself in the middle so you can delegate the game. You should be organizing/ starting the game from your position of power.

· Card Games should always be dealt by you; period. Unless the game rotates dealers then you always deal. Position yourself using the different types of table sitting as stated above. The games will go much smoother if people are positioned looking at you with their backs away from the rest of the party.

· "Physical Social Circles". Pre-games tend to have random standing circles where you stand around and talk. Use the basic circle table principle and position yourself with limited distractions behind you. Control the consumption of alcohol by always being prepared to make someone a drink, but not being the bartender! If you see someone is low on a beverage, offer to make them another one. If someone asks you to make them one, have them do it themselves.

· Lounging around drinking and watching T.V. or playing video games isn't my idea of a Pre-game so I have nothing to add on this. This is boring and not getting anyone into a good state for the bars or clubs. The attention is not focused on you, but on a screen... Yuck.

Controlling Conversation Splits: Conversation splits happen in groups of four or more, but most people don't even realize they occur. Even fewer people know how to maximize conversation splits to their personal advantage. For example, in a five person+ conversation, it will always stem into two separate conversations; a 3 person conversation and a 2 person conversation. Otherwise, it will remain a 5 person conversation where two people are weakly included, deeming it truly a 3 person conversation with two hanging chads. As the leader, you want the conversation to break off into two different groups. Then when you realize it, you interrupt the other group's personal conversation by bringing them back into the conversation at large. By doing this it:

A) Breaks the other group's frame and brings them back into your setting.

B) Keeps the group cohesive in knowing that you are the leader.

If you are always bringing the group focus back, then you are indirectly influencing their conversation, thus keeping them in your reality. You should change the people that you engage in side conversation with to keep the interest large among several table mates, and then make the table cohesive again.

If you have a love interest at the table then you can also use this to your advantage in isolating. Knowing that the conversation will break off 3/2 you create an isolated conversation between you and the woman. Then bring the group back into your conversation once it begins to die down. (You can also use this knowledge when you enter a four-set at a bar or club knowing that the group will split in conversation 3/2 but I digress).

If a conversation has four people, know that 1 person is usually left out of it. It happens more frequently than not. Try to bring this person into the conversation as much as possible or invite someone else over. Why does this happen? I’m not entirely sure, but it does. Keep an eye out for it.

Restaurant/ Dinner Party:

·Exactly as I have described above. The larger the party the more difficult to pull this off, but the largest conversation that will break off is four people. If you are at a table of 10, conversation would typically break off 2/2/3/3 or 3/3/4. You can break their frame by getting everyone's attention for a toast, or to tell a relevant story to the group, but your main goal since you are positioned well in the center is to bring in different groups into your conversation at different times. This will keep everyone engaged in conversation, having fun, and their conversations will unknowingly revolve around the words that are coming out of your mouth, whether you are still in the current conversation or not.

Pre-Game:

· This is very similar, but two slight differences

  •     "Games": People breaking into side conversations can hurt the flow of a game so you need to get their attention back. Use the game to break their frame here since you are the organizer.
    • "Physical Social Circle": Different groups will be around, you break their frame by calling them over mid conversation to get an opinion, ask a question, etc. You don't come to their circle, they come to yours.

The Big Thing to remember is that while these things can help you, they are not “make it or break it” assets. Think of these as supplements to your solid game that will simply elevate you to another level. Hosting/ Organizing should be something that everyone realizes, but positioning and conversation splits are something that is harder to grasp. I recommend that next time you are in a group setting watch how conversation’s split into multiple groups, also work your way into different positioning and see how you are able to contribute to conversation differently. These things can only help you if you learn to utilize them the correct way.

Most importantly, have fun. Social Circle game is much different than cold approach. Don’t be a hard-ass stickler forcing people to do things that you want to do in order to be the leader. Calibrate correctly to the group and coerce them into your frame. It should be natural, not impactful.

tl;dr Above are three supplements to your current game that will improve it if implemented correctly, but they are not mandatory additions. You still need tight game. Read at your leisure.