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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Not asking lowers your chances to zero that you'll have a meaningful experience with the other person.
If you're both up at 1am and chatting on Tinder, ask her to an all-night diner for some coffee, or something.
Heck, eve George Costanza justified a date once by saying, "I said or something!!".
Be casual and show your interest. The worst that's going to happen is they say no and you move on. It's impossible for them to judge or reject you personally, all they're doing is agreeing or not to meet.
Ever play a video game? How many times did you die the first time before you had that a-ha moment and passed that first level?
Dating and meeting people is pretty similar, you only get better with time and experience.
[–]starwars7654 points 10 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate it very much. Motivated. Just to be clear, if I say to a girl "lets get dinner at X restaurant on Saturday." Then get dinner with her. Then just go home. Does that count as a date? Honestly have no idea how this stuff is supposed to work. And what is a relationship?, People just meeting up for dinners and parks and vacations, and getting more intimate, until they decide to move in together. Being totally serious. My inability to picture this stuff is real.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well don't "just go home," unless that's where you end up and don't worry about whether or not something is a date, you're not keeping score (unless you are of course).
It's possible you may be thinking too hard about this and the energy could be better spent just being out and having a good time.
What's a relationship? It's when you're regularly spending time with someone you genuinely care about, and this can lead in to love and other things.
My suggestion is go out what you perceive as your comfort zone and talk to as many women as possible. Even just a hello. You'll do well, you'll do poorly, you'll have all sorts of interactions, including those where you creep someone out and those where a woman creeps you out too.
Whatever you do, go easy on yourself and keep trying new, different things with people. Eventually you'll find your comfort zone and when you do, you'll find women (and men) flocking to you.
Yea, everything you mention could be construed as relationship stuff but so could a million other things.
Good luck and go easy on yourself, you clearly care enough so you'll do great.
[–]Kaidenshiba 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
i have a lot of experience with tinder, what do you want?
Definitely keep the chat going. Ask the girl about herself, ask her what she's doing tomorrow. Thats step number one to thinking about setting up a date. Personally, I don't like setting things up the next day because I usually have plans by that point. If she's free, ask her out on a date. Use the word date. Take her out somewhere. The only time I would not suggest this is if she says on her profile that she's not looking to date or wants something super casual. If she's busy saturday then ask about sunday. If you ask about multiple days, she'll probably catch on which is a good thing.
[–]madeittotheusa2 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I stopped suggesting a day for the date, instead I ask "When are you usually available?" or "When are you free next week?". Some girls have a busy schedule and you suggesting too many days would show you have too much free time. Going out with a girl doesn't mean you have to take them somewhere. Granted I'm not a fan of sitting a girl down for dinner when I hardly "know" them but I like to pick them up in my car, grab a snack at a drive through and go elsewhere after: park, mall or just park nearby and talk, until you make your move. Usually the less public it is the easier/more comfortable it is to make a move, but that is just my opinion on the girls I've been with. The situations changes with each girl you just have to do your best to try to read and make what you think would be the right play.
[–]Kaidenshiba 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
that sounds better. Tinder you just have to be careful because things move so fast so people drop off it fast. I've set up dates before for saturday on a tuesday and by the time the day came, we were both done talking to each other. I get not wanting to take a girl out on a real dinner date but saying that you want to hang out sounds like you just want sex.
[–]Ragnrok 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ask her out for a drink. Take her to a bar. This varies depending on how long you're there for, but try to average out roughly 1.5 beers an hour. Take turns paying for the rounds, it's 2016, the only women who still expect you to pay for anything are garbage. If you're charming and funny, be yourself. If you're not, pretend to be someone who is charming and funny.
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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]starwars7654 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kaidenshiba 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]madeittotheusa2 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kaidenshiba 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ragnrok 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link