Hello boys and girls! Valentine’s Day is fast approaching so here comes a much needed PSA.

Sex is not a gift. I cannot stress this enough! V day is supposed to be about the expression of love for your partner, meaning that it’s a two-way street. Ladies: buy your man a damn gift! Make him feel special too. Be all sappy and romantic to him if that’s your thing. I hate to break it to you but sex, while fun, is not a gift: it’s a mutual expression of love. Most couples have sex on a regular basis. Think about how you’d feel if your man didn’t buy you anything and expected his body to be your gift. Most of you wouldn’t speak to him.

Guys: don’t accept the bare minimum. You are worth it! Most men, myself included, don’t want flowers and a teddy bear, but some do. If she loves you, she knows what you like as a gift. To reiterate the sex point guys: you can probably count on your fingers the number of days since you last got laid. Sure sex is fun, but wouldn’t you appreciate some reciprocated affection on your SO’s part?

How do we solve this issue? Conversation. Talk to your SO! If they ask about what you want for V day, ask what they want. Be persistent if they are dismissive. Ladies, tell your man that you love him and want to make his day as special as yours. Most guys would melt hearing that. Men, it may sound painful, but you may need to have a heart-to-heart with your lady if you feel like your romantic efforts aren’t being reciprocated (not just on V Day). After you give her your gifts, if she didn’t get you anything, smile and say that you’ve been dying to see what she bought you. The word “bought” is important here because it’s tougher to switch to innuendo (and therefore an easy out) than “got”. If she truly cares about you, she will feel bad. Tell her that it’s okay but don’t entirely dismiss your disappointment. The same thing can work if the genders are reversed here. The point is, a person who truly loves you will reflect on this and strive to make you happier the next time around.

I hope this helps some people!