I keep screwing up dates and need a course of action for how to improve. As I'm only getting a date every couple of months each failure stings so it's making me anxious which hurts my chances more. I mostly get dates from people via online dating or girls I approach and chat to for maybe 15 minutes in clubs.

I'm male 29, have a good job, education, my own car and apartment, get told I look physically good and dress well, so my most likely problem is how I act. I mostly date females around 22-26.

Four dates in the last year, the girl just doesn't seem into me when meeting for drinks for a few hours. The conversation dries up and gets more awkward after about an hour. I don't generally have trouble keeping conversations going at work and with friends. With the girls I date though, I find they don't ask many questions back (I'll ask about their work but they don't ask back sometimes) and I eventually run out of material to keep the conversation going. Despite this, I usually end up kissing the girl, holding hands etc. but then she avoids meeting after the date.

I had a confusing situation last month where I met a girl for a dinner date, she acted highly interested (she said how much she liked me, how we should meet soon), the conversation flowed really well, we went back to her place and made out heavily. I invited her to drinks a few days later after she contacted me first and this time the conversation didn't flow as well, she left early after a couple of hours, turned down a kiss (I really don't understand that bit given I didn't do anything obviously wrong) and stopped responding to my messages. I have no idea what I could screw up that badly in a couple of hours except the conversation was not as great. I'm sure I didn't say any obvious red flags.

My general rules are: not acting needy, don't compliment too much (I pretty much never compliment), don't talk about previous gfs, tease and joke, avoid interview style boring questions, avoid sex chat until it happens naturally (the girl usually brings something like this up), be decisive about where we go for the date, I know when to go in for a kiss. I've been out of the dating game for about 5 years and usually never had trouble getting second dates.

TLDR: My only guesses are I'm coming off as boring, I don't act confident enough (I don't have great self confidence but I'm usually good at hiding this) or maybe I'm not flirting enough. Can anyone give me some advice on things I can do to improve these things and/or how I can identify what I'm doing wrong? Girls rarely let you know the last one.