Introduction

I am 20 years old, in my third year of attending a large state university, and play bass in a psychedelic rock band. Since the start of college in the fall of 2014 I have tried to improve my luck with girls, though with limited success. To this day, I have yet to have had a proper girlfriend and remain a virgin. This issue has been really getting to me lately, as I feel I am getting far too old to still be in this situation.

Backstory

Throughout my childhood I was a social outcast, and only attained some semblance of a social circle in my last year or so of high school. As a result, I never had much interaction with other people, let alone girls growing up. When college started, I realized I was far behind everyone else socially and resolved to improve myself. Since then life has improved somewhat, I am no longer so awkward around people, and my band is successful. However, I am still frustratingly behind in my romantic life. So far, I have been briefly involved with three girls, each instance meeting a bad and abrupt end.

  • I. (July 2015): I met this girl at one of my band's shows after I noticed her eyeing me while I was onstage. A week later she showed up at another gig my band had, and afterwards I made out with her at my place. This was my first time doing anything with a girl at all. Two days later I invited her over again and almost got laid, though I was so nervous I couldn’t get hard. I tried to explain I was inexperienced and she seemed to understand. However, she subsequently distanced herself from me. A week later she found someone else and ran away to California.

  • II. (September 2015): I met this girl by chance at the dining hall and managed to get her number. I made out with her a few times the following week, but wasn’t sure how to proceed from there. This lead to me talking to her less as I had no idea what to do, so everything fizzed out after that. She too ended up with someone else soon after.

  • III. (September 2016): After nearly a year of nothing, I met this girl by random chance while I was waiting in line to get a burrito. She chatted me up and asked for my number, and I gave it to her. I didn’t find this one particularly attractive, but decided to try my luck anyway. In the subsequent few weeks I hung out with her a few times, the farthest I got was a bj. However, she was far more into me than I was into her, and I decided to end it after a while. I could have easily gotten into a relationship with this girl, but I chose not to.

Current Situation/Lingering Concerns

As stated previously, I remain a virgin and have yet to have a proper relationship. Over all, I believe my biggest troubles are that I am inexperienced, my social circle is small and I don’t get out much, and I generally have trouble meeting girls or approaching them. All three girls I met by chance, and they all approached me, not the other way around. I would love to find a way to get better at approaching girls and putting myself out there, but I don’t really know how to go about doing that. Even though I have made great strides socially I still am quite shy, and tend to be intimidated around attractive women. In addition, I feel very insecure about being inexperienced. I believe most girls would think it’s weird for a guy to be a virgin at 20. Third, my personality and interests are quite different from most people. I’m one of those quiet musician types, and I don’t really like the whole party scene either. Anyway, advice would be greatly appreciated, as I really want to finally conquer this problem once and for all.