My wife went out with her girlfriends to a club called the Venus I am home doing chores but where is my penis?

When she gets home I greet her with a kiss She turns her cheek 90 degrees to dodge my lips and suddenly my penis is amiss

Up in the bedroom I am asked to give a foot rub Suddenly the hope of sex produces a chub

45 minutes later she thanks me real quick And rolls over and farts and I suddenly can't find my dick

The next morning I wake up mildly annoyed So I go for a jog with my trusty dog Floyd

When suddenly I realized I have to shit bad I return to find her in bed with Chad

Just when I thought they were alone Under the bed I see the foot of Tyrone

It seems Chad had no Earthly clue... That Tyrone laid beneath, waiting in que

While Chad and my wife bickered and screamed I went to the the Divorce Lawyer to avoid getting reamed

I awoke one day in bed Turned to my other side and started to dread

Suddenly I reached down and started to jerk And dictated into my tape recorder like ol' Captain Kirk

"Tis better to be alone and morn than to be cucked by a woman of scorn"