Really need some help

TheThankUMan66 · 2019-01-19T20:15:49+00:00

Read 'Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships' it really helps you understand why women cheat and it feels less like a betrayal and more like a biological desire.

DangZagnut · 2019-01-19T20:19:01+00:00

This will be oblique, and coming from a different direction, but why are you expecting monogamy?

Current culture is that it doesn't work, because at best only 50% of the people in the relationship agree with it in practice.

So keep your relationships casual. Don't worry about who they're sleeping with, and don't worry about who you sleep with as well. It's just sex.

Stop trying to make "deep meaningful" relationships. You might as well just jerk off and dream of that for all the reality it has. If you want something deep and meaningful, have it with that person in the mirror, or get a dog. Your unicorn never will.

Why am I bringing that up? The ancient model of some lifetime soul mate is a lie and never existed. Not in any form of reality. So why are you chasing a dragon everyone else gave up on?

Unicorns don't exist, loyalty doesn't exist. You saw too many Disney movies growing up.

What you're chasing is not real. Women cheat. All the time. They have zero reason, and zero interest, in monogamy or loyalty.

Well, from them that is. They expect it from you. You just keep paying for them. They want your wallet to be loyal. Not you. They have cock to enjoy (and not yours). I mean, alimony after divorce is her just wanting to be married to your wallet any way. I mean, strong independent women have careers right? They can afford their own expenses and children they demanded right?

Of course not, they want your resources, and occasionally killing a spider. Other than that, you're just another retard bothering her.

So stop chasing "loyalty". When you get "cheated" on, that's just what she is going to do. Your entire issue is you had an unrealistic view of reality, which is she won't do that.

Sure. Think that. And enjoy the fruits of that labor.

So in conclusion, sleep with whoever you want, and if you give a shit about what she's doing, you're fucking up. Assume she has all the diseases and she views you as just a fuck boi if you're lucky.

And never, ever give women money for any reason. Not even a glass of water. It just paints you as a sucker.

And stop chasing dragons.

grizzer99 · 2019-01-19T20:16:32+00:00

Never been cheated on but have been manipulated more than once. I’d consider myself “big hearted” or a deep feeler as well. If you want a friend I’m happy to oblige. I’ll offer any advice or experience I can if you want it. That’s the best I can do. Best of luck and send me a message if you need to talk.

grizzer99 · 2019-01-19T20:12:48+00:00

And a bit more info. The past few weeks have been absolutely brutal to me. Lost a close friend to suicide, my grandfather is close to losing his 5 year long battle to alziemiers among other things. Just a huge mess of shit

grizzer99 · 2019-01-19T20:15:32+00:00

[deleted]

BrettBrooks21 · 2019-01-19T20:18:40+00:00

I've dealt with similar when I was in the dating pool and it is the absolute worst feeling. There's really no sure fire way to forget. That betrayal will be there for a while. But as the old saying goes " time heals all wounds". It'll take time and encouragement from others. Best way to move past is to focus on you and make yourself happy, get together with some friends and live life. Those feelings of betrayal will probably always come back for a spell because life is a fickle bitch.

lostapwbm · 2019-01-19T20:34:28+00:00

Those of you who got cheated on for weeks or months, how did you manage to move on?

Just the feeling of absolute betrayal is such a shit feeling and it really needs to go away so I can get my old life back

In what sense did she 'betray' you? What duty or loyalty or confidence did she break?

Was it her giving pussy to some other man? Because if it was just pussy, so what? Pussy is not special. How she tries compensate you for the value that you demonstrate to her.

Is it because she said she loves you and now she's telling the new dick that she loves him? Women don't love like men. Our love implies a degree of loyalty, that's why women try so hard to extract an 'I love you' from us. A woman's love just means that she loves you at the moment she says it and for precisely as long as her emotion lasts. A woman 'loves' a man in the same way that she 'loves' a new dress, or a pumpkin spice latte, or a puppy. Her 'love' is no different that her saying 'I'm hungry' or 'I'm tired', she's not committing, she's just relaying the particular emotion she feels at that moment.

The pain is just wounded ego and possessiveness. She's never yours, it's just your turn. And when one of you gets tired of the other, then it's over with.

QuantumSanta · 2019-01-20T05:35:17+00:00

Understand that the person you were with did not love you, or care about you. Nobody that cheats on their partner does.

Get involved in something, anything. Get fit, join a club, go and do some martial arts training and hit the living fuck out of a punch bag.

Think about something you always wanted to do, and go do it. Now.

Remember, you have not lost something valuable. You have actually been spared a lifetime of being with someone that feels nothing for you.

Move on, life is there to be enjoyed.

re_all · 2019-01-19T20:18:18+00:00

The opium of the mind is believing that a source of happiness is something that is added to your life, versus having it grow within yourself.

Surely you heard the phrase “nothing worth anything is free”?

That phrase also includes your health, physique, and state of mind.

The sheer amount of work needed to lose the negativity and gain your life back is absolutely staggering to consider.

But you are a man, and you can do it.

The question is can you achieve it? Can you work that hard for it?

Are you ready for it?

Juice1855 · 2019-01-19T22:47:12+00:00

My advice for you would be to focus on your finances and your hobbies. It’s going to take time. Currently as a man in my mid 20’s I found it to be very valuable to use the thoughts about the past as motivation to become financially stable. For the first time in my life I have a (small) secondary income monthly from investments and savings accounts. I’ve spent my spare time focusing on my hobbies and plan to use that extra money to start a business someday soon. Hang in there and absorb this wonderful information that MGTOW provides us so that you do not have similar outcome to your story in the future.

I’ll leave you with a quote. I believe it’s from Albert Einstein. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

ikhwan_arif · 2019-01-20T03:56:20+00:00

The short answer is "one day at a time."

BiffBiffBiff27 · 2019-01-19T20:20:19+00:00

Time. Your pain is recent, it's going to hurt until you really let go and no longer indulge in it.

Stop reminiscing over the good times for now and accept that all the previous good actions mean diddily shit in the context of the betrayal. You thought she was an angel but discovered she was a cunt.

Your attachment to the pleasure of her memory. Forget it. She does not deserve that place in your mind any more.

swankvagabond · 2019-01-19T20:24:21+00:00

My deepest sympathy goes out to you. I think you just need to take things slowly and start reading books, I would suggest the Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and do some basic exercise.

If you need advice or help, don't hesitate to ask us.

-Radical_Edward · 2019-01-20T04:58:16+00:00

By never caring in the first place.

carlos_merengue · 2019-01-19T20:19:03+00:00

You have to fill the time and emotional voids, preferably by doing new productive activities. Go hiking, fishing, learn or perfect a skill, make new friends, reach out to close friends, etc. Time will heal your pain. What is important is not to get yourself deeper into a hole while you are already in one, so avoid drugs, alcohol, women, etc.

Title	Really need some help
Author	grizzer99
Upvotes	8
Comments	30
Date	January 19, 2019 8:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/ahpp7q/really_need_some_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/really-need-some-help.420966 https://theredarchive.com/post/420966

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