So I've been following mgtow for about 5 years, starting with Sandman videos on YouTube. I am convinced of its principles and agree with the concept of gynochracy eating the core of American and cultural fabric from the inside out.

Recently I have screwed up. I've struggled with addiction for about a decade. This has left me in the cycle of good career paths and rehabs. Without being said my "game" and self confidence took a shit. I've always been decent looking, I'm mixed black/white, 5'8 230lbs solid muscle. In my hay days of college I was plowing through Coeds like a hedgehog on the hunt. I learned alot about women in these years and I'm glad I did. My early adult life I started drinking partying etc, and the quality of tail went down as I fell deeper into addiction. I'm 35 now and starting to re awaken and realize the true value I carry as a man of experience and, I see my value as greater than any woman's. I am now stable, recovered, working, and live in orange county, CA and the pickings are great. But for some reason my mindset is fucked. I have been dating a single mother I met while in my addiction about 7 months ago. I met her on match.com and she was a 5 or 6, cute, but obviously depression eating. I was low on self esteem and found myself saying fuckit as she went down on me in my car on out FIRST date. Now I find myself still in the gym, getting in great shape/size and I'm wanting to run through beautiful women like I did before. I have my own spot in Costa Mesa and have recently started taking college courses again. And believe me, orange county community colleges are 4 to 1 girl/guy ratio. Its ridiculous. I love it. I know I've rambled but I need help. I need advice on how to get back into atleast another run of conquests, and at the same time let this girl go. I do care about her, she's been there for me in hard times. But I'm not physically attracted to her anymore. I want that rush of a good looking woman. What should I do? I'm tired of online thots, I cannot go to bars and clubs. So I'm asking the men of mgtow.