I have been, through a long period of reading and absorbing material and finding how it connects to my dissatisfaction and bitterness with my life. I married young to a woman 10 years older than me, because I brought into the mythological fear of being alone and not knowing my worth. She had a son, and we had a daughter together. I worked and she stayed home, only working when it suited her.

The sex was good to middling to begin with then it tapered off. I just got on with it, accepting her control of the frame for the first ten years. I then went through a period of refusing to accept my position, lost weight and studied being more confident after a nervous breakdown, ended up having an extra marital affair but after that rediscovered a passion for writing and started to build more of my life around that. It sustained me and gave me an identity independent of my married and working life that is now starting to pay off. With that attendant confidence, I resumed studying RP and just before Christmas, asserted myself with my wife and said that if things didn't change (she showed no respect for my mother, the sex was mundane and she didn't cook or keep the house clean) then I was leaving.

I agreed to be more present with her as a concession but after a few weeks, she slipped back into her old ways. Financially, we have struggled on my wages and all her arguments were around making my wages work harder for less rather than her getting a job. Yesterday I told her that we were over. If I had ever needed proof of hypergamy, I got it. Her solipsism came out in the worst way possible - told me that she would see to it that my kids hated me, that she would get half of any money I made from my writing ( my second book is about to be submitted to publishers by my agent) It is a horrible relief. I went from mother to wife and now I acknowledge that it was a terrible mistake, which I aim to rectify. She is convinced that there is someone else involved but there is not. Aside from choosing myself. My kids are adults now and I want to live with options and the ability to react to situations. Divorce will be horrific but I am seeking advice on how to protect myself financially as much as I can, and I feel relief about having done it. The worst part is that she pleaded her case for doing things that a housewife should do by default - cooking meals as I work full time etc and the expectation that I should be grateful for that.

I need advice from a UK perspective on what to do next. I am arranging a consultation with a solicitor and will be asking my agent if they know of any legal/financial protections for my future writing income as well as looking into moving out without limiting myself financially. She is, in the death of it, more concerned about the house than the marriage.

TL:DR. It's all true. Learn it whilst you are young enough not to be scarred by it or get scarred by it and learn then. The latter is painful, so choose the former.

I came on AskTRP because I need financial and logistic advice but also a lot of newbies come here and wanted to share my experiences. (Edited for clarity and formatting. I vented before considering other's people's views)