Dont worry fellas, theres a tl:dr for you at the bottom👍🏼 It is safe to say that my blue pill conditioning was extremely effective on me..or was it not? Is it stupid for someone to stick to some morals/ethics/values despite knowing the cold ugly truths about females in 2020..? Heres a little background about me(male aged 23). I grew up in a African American Christian church home; waking up every early Sunday morning for Sunday school and going to a private Catholic high school. Right now I work as a night custodian for a school (my last day is next Friday) alongside a hard HB7 co-worker that is 21 years old. Try and imagine a mexican version of Ariana Grande with a longer nose but a decent body size and an ass that be swingin.. Sense I am not staying at this job for much longer, I've decided to really test the waters with this chick tonight. You probably can start to see where i am going with this..

Now that I look back, after discovering the red pill six months ago, I am able to tell that I've probably fucked a couple girls in my past that were in a relationship that I had no clue about at the time. But this time is different. I've never before in my life blatantly flirted with a girl knowing that she currently have a boyfriend & received positive feedback from her. I am actually depressed about how easy the interaction was with her tonight during lunch break. I guess I passed her rude ass shit tests earlier about my 5'6 body height with flying colors because her body language towards me was extremely receptive in this one particular interaction we had during lunch. Here's a little snippet of it. This was her response to me after I was telling her about my meal prep and how much i force myself to eat to gain more weight so i can lift more weight (she asked about it)..

Her: You need to stop torturing yourself. Learn to live a lil. ** she says with a smirk 1-2 feet away from me**

Me: I feel like there was some extra intent in what you just said. *i say with daring eyes at her *

Her: Take it how you want to. If i had no intentions i wouldnt be here in this room with you. I coulda been left.. ** she says while giving me the "what're you going to do about it" look **

Me: ** shakes my head and goes back to eating my meal**

TL:DR In short, I dont know how to stop being such a prude/proper & autistic-like person with high morals. As a kid, I used to be in church "preaching" amongst people saying some very beta ass shit like "if it aint cute, keep it mute." How do I learn to just "live a lil" ? I understand and agree with plate spinning but I cant for some reason go through with fucking another guys girl; while knowing that i am fucking another guys girl. We've all been cheated on in the past by a "good girl" and we know that hurt. I dont wish to bring that same pain onto someone else but at the same time I could have a Arianna Grande look-a-like blowing me right now (my brain will 100% see Ariana Grande with enough alcohol in my system) .. i am depressed.