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Help.

Sweaty_Dig3685 · 2024-04-30T20:24:04+00:00

Hi, I need some advice: I'm a 30-year-old guy. I don't consider myself handsome, and that has limited me a lot, yet I've managed to...

Sweaty_Dig3685

April 30, 2024

1 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Help.
Author	Sweaty_Dig3685
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	April 30, 2024 8:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ch2rvb/help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help.1516948 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516948

Comments

[–]DaygameCode 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sweaty_Dig3685[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]ShortStuffV2 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Some of this stuff is subconscious and reasoning about it helps a little, but maybe not completely.

In those cases, focus on moving your feet toward the woman you're interested in, to the point that it becomes weirder to turn around than to say hi. This pitches your anxiety at the one against the other, and so you will speak because you fear the results of fleeing or freezing more.

Then you can reframe any "failures" as just needing practice (since anxiety tends to go down the more used to something you are), or you not being her type.

Others have also suggested reframing anxiety as excitement -- this girl is really pretty, I can't wait to talk to her -- and maybe that works, I haven't tried it.

Finally, social interactions with strangers aren't anything to be ashamed or afraid of - We're often just traumatized/conditioned to see those encounters with women specifically as fraught because of past bad experiences. In reality, everyone is talking to one another all of the time and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just easy to forget when you're in your own head.

[–]Sweaty_Dig3685[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ShortStuffV2 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Shoot your shot and don't worry about it.

I'm of the opinion that people chemistry is a bit like trying to fit random puzzle pieces together. You need the right two pieces in the right orientation(s).

Out of those hundreds or thousands of dudes dropping likes, how many do you think have any real understanding of or chemistry with her? And even if they do, are they her type? Do their schedules line up? And if everything seems right, how long is that going to be true? People change, life happens, sometimes who you think is a good match turns out not to be (and that's not an indictment of either of you).

There are as many variables as there are interested men. She will make her choice, but don't concern yourself with that choice or with your competition. Those are both out of your control, and obsessing over them will only waste your energy and emotions. It will do the opposite of what you desire.

There's a lot more I could say about this, but for the time being, focus on being the best man that you are capable of being, get to know as many women as you can, and invite them to interesting things. Have fun, flirt and invite, but don't chase; don't get in too deep or expect too much until you've found yourself both consistently and naturally choosing one another.

[–]Sweaty_Dig3685[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link