As the sun sets we go into the urban jungle, and I'm hungry like the wolf boys.

8pm to 10pm The Bars

The first approach of the evening is always tough. Eventually we (my wingman and myself) noticed two women who looked around 30 a bit old for ourselves but I came to socialise damnit. I opened with Play 1 – The Jigsaw Named after the suspicion and horror on every woman’s face when I open with the words “would you like to play a game?” After about 10 seconds of persuading they always say yes because who doesn’t like games. After moving to a quiet location in this case a vacant table, the four of us break into pairs for an ice breaker game (though it could be any game) – the game I use takes approximately 60 seconds. After that we invited them to come outside with us to receive their prize for being good sports. Confetti Gun. No attempt at closing but their smiles and laughter were wonderful.

10pm to 11pm The Clubs – The Number Close

At this point we ventured into some clubs but couldn’t see anyone of interest. So, we sat alone and I scanned the room for the girl I was most attracted to and saw her in a set of three – off we go. Sat down next to her and it was time for Play 2 – Fine I’ll Wear One Too we quickly introduced ourselves and my wing set to work occupying her friends. Problem was twenty seconds later I couldn’t remember their names so I had to ask again, not good. “I’ll never remember that, here put this on.” After taking out the blank sticky labels I used a marker to write each of their names and handed one to her friend but put the name tag on the chest of the girl I was after and patted it down, ladies and gentlemen I believe the touch barrier is now broken. The reaction to this is always embarrassment and a measure of resistance usually to overcome this a show of good will is needed – fine I’ll wear one too.

Now that the wing man is in place, our circle was clearly isolated and unified within the crowd using the name tags… it’s time to play the game. As it happened I really liked this girl so I arranged a date in future. I offered her my number then got hit with “No. Here is my number, you call me.” Best not to overstay the welcome. I went for this kiss, she laughed shook her head and said, “nah uh, you are going to have to work harder than that!” Well fuck, I liked her before but at this point I was in love. Did end up seeing her she is pretty great.

11pm onwards The Clubs – Winging it

At this point I decided a great way to approach lots of girls would be to try Play 3 – The Leap Frog, She Just Said this was made up on the fly but it was a laugh. First, I chose a girl in a mixed group of five separated her and asked her opinion on my tie eventually the conversation started to die so I cut it. Behind me a set of five rather attractive girls sat down so I opened the one closest and basically asked the same question but with “see this other girl just told me… but I’m not so sure.” At this point she said, “let me fix it” and basically ripped my tie apart it was the tie equivalent of having a drink thrown in your face, “I did you a favour” she then turned her back to me while her friends snickered. Fuck you. Sitting there with my tie thrown about I hatched a plan.

Play 4 – Take the bait you cow I am petty and will spite you at first, I just acted like a stooge who really thought she was trying to help, I sat and thought about it on my own while looking at my tie. Bait. Then asked my friend whilst clearly gesturing to my tie. Bait. Finally, I leaned back into to their group and asked one “your friend said she fixed it but I really don’t know…” and received the same “dude she did you a favour (basically fuck off).” Bait. Finally, I shook my head and did my tie back up. Bait. Without a word from me this same girl turned around again while her friends were grinning like Cheshire cats and went after my tie this time even more aggressively and tried to rip it apart. “Oi hands off, you are going to buy me a drink or take me home before you can rip my clothes off” she went red and froze, her friends all looked a bit stunned and mumbled something. Then I got up and left to continue the leap frog. Lost my wing man for a bit but ended up home.

To any that wonder or care that is what I would consider a good and typical night.