One commenter has some questions regarding authority given my two previous posts on Politely challenging Church leaders about marriage and Understanding Godly value. First, here is the full comment:

In marriage it’s clear that the husband is supposed to have authority in headship. Same with some of the Church positions
I don’t think Church positions are described as such at all. But to understand Male Headship in the home, ask yourself: Do you honestly think a husband has authority over his wife in the same way as Christ has over the church?
Really? That he has a right to kill his wife, as God does one of his own creation?
Or in the same way Christ has authority to call a Christian to martyrdom on His behalf?
There actually is no verse that says “Husbands exercise authority over your wives in the same manner as Christ has authority over the church.” Christ has a right to make us fully disposable and to do his full bidding. Not one of the verses in the Bible that talk about husband/wife relations describe it as such. For example “The LORD hates divorce and cruel men.” (Mal 2:16) But YAHWEH reserved the right to divorce Israel.
Again, start with Christ: Matt 23:1-12, Lk 22:24-30. Those guide all human relationships.

Before I get into this, some of this is covered in my post on Authority is good. The root of the confusion usually has to do with a couple key areas that I will point out later in this post.

But to understand Male Headship in the home, ask yourself: Do you honestly think a husband has authority over his wife in the same way as Christ has over the church?

Yes.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Really? That he has a right to kill his wife, as God does one of his own creation?

This is a straw man. Authority is given to the husband to love, to nourish, to cherish (Eph 5), to not become embittered (Col 3), to treat her in an understanding way, and honor her as a coheir in Christ (1 Pet 3).

The fact that authority can be abused is not a sign that it is not given or that it is bad.

The analogy is quite clear: Christ is the head of the Church as husbands are head of the wives (Eph 5). Likewise, the head of Jesus is God  and Jesus submitted Himself to the authority of the Father (1 Cor 11).

Or in the same way Christ has authority to call a Christian to martyrdom on His behalf?

Again, a straw man. Christ has the authority to do this, but He does not force us to do it.

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Instead, Jesus leads by example. Even though Jesus had the authority to do it, He sacrificed Himself for us. So too husbands are told to follow Jesus’ example.

There actually is no verse that says “Husbands exercise authority over your wives in the same manner as Christ has authority over the church.” Christ has a right to make us fully disposable and to do his full bidding. Not one of the verses in the Bible that talk about husband/wife relations describe it as such. For example “The LORD hates divorce and cruel men.” (Mal 2:16) But YAHWEH reserved the right to divorce Israel.

The main problem at this point is that authority is thought of in an incorrect context. Authority is created by and established by God. Thus, the structure of authority is fundamentally good.

“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God” (Romans 13:1). Also see: 1 Peter 2.

A structure created by God is ultimately a good structure meant to accurately convey and reflect the goodness of the Creator. Hence, the accurate analogy of Christ:Church::Husbands:Wives.

When you fully understand the role of Christ as to the Church you understand that this authority MUST be unlimited. However, in all cases, authority should be used to love to reflect the goodness of the institution that God created. This is the same as for the husbands to the wives.

You see we often like to think of the complete authority husbands were given over wives in the OT as oppressive because it is/was abused many times. However, this is false. Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it (Matt 5). Thus, Jesus showed us how proper authority in regard to husbands and wives is fulfilled. Like Christ and the Church, husbands have complete and utter authority over wives in order to love, nourish, cherish, etc.

The fact that authority can be abused is not an argument against the establishment of authority or defining its limits. Rather, abused authority is the fault and sin of the one who abused it not the structure itself.

I could command my wife to lay her life down for me and the kids by taking a bullet. I would be justified in doing this. The Father does the same exact thing when He commands Jesus to died for us.

Understand: Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”

However, I would rather lay my life down to protect my wife and children given the choice. Now, if we both had to die to protect the children I would imagine that both of us would give up our lives because of our love for the children.

Jesus understands this and reveals His strong understanding of God’s love us in John 13-17. John 17 in particular shows Jesus’ strong understanding of His oneness with God even as He is submitted to God. Hence, laying down His life for us.

Conclusion

This is why in the beginning of the challenging Church leaders post I laid down a lot of examples of ways that egalitarians — and to be honest, many complementarians — misunderstand authority. The nature of authority is much deeper than most initially realize, and we often have so many misconceptions of authority because we try to understand it from a Western context. Western thought on authority is that it is bad or is too easily abused. Hence, this colors our vision of what true godly authority is being born of the institution that God created.

Draconian authority, abuse and misuse of authority, and even thoughts of authority potentially  being used incorrectly should not be allowed to color it. This is walking down the road of irrational fear which leads to evil. If you talk to many wives on what respect and submission mean you will come to find out that many of them harbor thoughts along the lines of “I don’t want to fully submit because what if… my husband commands me to sin” or “what if… my husband does something wrong or incorrect.”

This mindset does not just pervade our understand of husband and wives but it also insidiously colors our thoughts on our own lives. As Christians we are submitted to the Father. However, we often truly do not understand the gravity of the authority that God holds over us. If we did we would truly respect and fear God in every part of our lives so that we would be much like Paul: ready to pray, evangelize, teach, and obey God in every circumstance. To do good works like our lives depended on it because we know the one who holds everything in His hands.

Let me be frank. Dwelling on the nature of how authority can be abused is of the devil. It is giving in to an irrational fear. When we give into such irrational fears we are essentially telling God that we don’t trust Him. Why don’t we trust Him? We despise the nature of the authority structure He created, and we do not trust the one in authority who is placed into that position by God. Hating authority or the ones in authority is hating God.

Knowing this then we have no excuse not to steward our lives in a manner worthy of Christ.