I’ve been trying to figure out a term to use for this, but it’s the common one for the headship-submission dynamic within marriage.
No one, not even the most ardent feminist, would say that a teacher has more value (or is less equal) than a student. It’s assumed that the role of teacher is there to guide the student, just as Jesus did with his disciples. However, we still understand that there is a hierarchical dynamic between them where one is in authority over the other and responsible for their needs. They have the authority to make decisions.
The same is true of many other common positions society wide like bosses and employees, professions and secretaries, and others.
Yet, interestingly there is value blindness when talking about Biblical husband and wives. Even many of the so-called believers in headship and submission like the complementarians need to always pay lip service to the fact that husbands and wives are different but equal in value even though they do not necessarily do it practically.
Feminists have done a wonderful job brainwashing both men and women into believing power = value and maleness = value. Ironically, by doing this they have implicitly relegated femininity to a second class role.
Luke 22:25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
To clarify the point, the feminists have convinced Christian men but especially Christian women that Gentile authority is the default over Godly authority even to Christians!
Their envious goal is to want to be in power or want to be like men rather than women. Hence, why women believe that they are worth less if they aren’t striving to at the very least be equal or in power in any relationship or take on the male roles and traits though excluding much of the responsibility.
Thus, the dynamic is that anytime anyone needs to address the role of husband if they have to address the so-called elephant in the room of “equality” they are already falling prey to feminist intent.
This is the same as the submission dynamic of letting him lead:
- Rebellion or contentious to a husband
- Letting him lead — this still maintains that the wife is the arbiter of a husband’s leading
- Following his lead
To wrap up, I think it’s important to keep digging to the root of the language and meaning because some of these things continue to slip through the cracks. We’ve identified much of Biblical attraction and arousal and how it conflicts with modern culture, but maybe we haven’t investigated the why as deeply and how it alters our perception even through just the simple way we address points and the language we use.
