Most men lean too heavily towards doing Beta stuff and don’t spend enough time doing the Alpha things. The result is that they have a wife that is not terribly turned on by them, but is very comfortable in the relationship. So the solution for them is to find ways to develop their Alpha Traits and reengage her attraction and therefore sexual interest in him.
But if the reverse is true – a man doing mostly Alpha things and very few Beta things, she will still have attraction, but will become very uncomfortable in the relationship and feel emotionally neglected. So for those men they need to find ways to add some Beta into their day.
If all you want is a hook up, then all you need is Alpha and you’re good to go; the Alpha Traits are what creates her attraction and turns her ON. But in a marriage that lasts years, lacking Beta Traits will make her uncomfortable and turn that attraction OFF. (Just having Beta and no Alpha doesn’t turn her on though.)
If you have an Alpha profession, such as medicine, law, upper level business, professional sports etc, you are probably already running an “Asshole Game” on your wife by default. Work sucks up a great deal of your time and you can’t always get to the phone to call her back because you are in a meeting / in court / with a patient. Sometimes she cooks dinner and waits for you at home and you just have to cancel on her because something came up. You’re up at 530am to be at work by 645am and come home at 7pm and sometimes work at home later than that. You’re the bigshot, she’s just Mrs. Bigshot.
Plus if you throw in a hobby or serious fitness routine, your day can end at 830-9pm. Which leaves her essentially husbandless and alone all day. At least if you were deployed in Iraq or something, there’s a hope that you’ll actually come back and spend some time with her.
If she’s also playing the support role and keeping up the house, managing the children, doing your laundry and basically being a good wife, she’s not always going to feel like she is getting your positive attention for the good that she is doing. Which means in reality that you’re actually punishing her for being good, so she will eventually decide that enough is enough and start rebelling against the situation.
If your wife is basically disgusted with your lack of attention over many years, she will do things that may appear to be Fitness Tests, but actually aren’t. In a Fitness Test she is trying to spark a dominant reaction or lack thereof to create attraction. The under-appreciated wife already knows that you are dominant and doesn’t question it, she just thinks you’re a total asshole who doesn’t care about her.
All it takes for another man to seduce your under-appreciated wife is the ability to listen, to say thank you and spend some quality time with her.
Maybe you should get there first.
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