An old saying that I just made up is “Scratch a lady, find a whore.”

Most married women try pretty hard to be good girls and squish down the simmering primal desires inside of them. In reality, about 60% of the time the Rationalization Hamster is doing things like convincing them to not put a toddler down for a nap by way of a choke hold. 30% of the time it’s trying to figure out what’s for dinner. Only 10% of the time is it trying to figure out how to get some other dude’s semen without being caught by their husband. So relax, it’s really not as bad as you think.

So without further ado ladies, put your hamsters in neutral, relax, sit back and live your primal impulses out vicariously for the next two minutes through ascended master Lois Griffin.  (NSFW)

Anyway…

…I’m not saying add the whole Lois Griffin to your personality, because that two minutes was nothing but her moments of being Batshit Crazy from ten seasons of Family Guy. But she is kinda hot, and if you can admit to yourself you actually enjoyed watching it, maybe you should let your hair down just a little more.

If you wanna know why your husband isn’t paying attention to you, maybe it’s because you’re a little boring. If you’re a total pushover for him, actually testing him a little can be kinda fun for both of you. It’s all about finding the balance. Mixing the Alpha fun and sexy play with the Beta comfort of home and hearth. Always balance.

Unless of course some bitch is putting moves on your man…

Jennifer:  We’re not all high strung drama queens. This is something I’ve had to work on. Some of it is just standing up for yourself and some of it is actually demanding what you want. I’m a stronger person overall these days.

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