| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesI guess I don't understand... are you calling me out as a fake feminist because I don't have a feminist enough perspective? Or that I shouldn't label my perspective feminist because it's not correct? You keep saying that feminism = calling out abuse. Well, I'm here to tell you that there's a lot more to it than that. Sorry. ETA: If you really want to know "what more there was", I'm happy to quote myself from elsewhere (outside of this thread): The movie, like the books, has its rape-y abusive mo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/15 02:54 AM |
| 2 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesI never claimed it was THE feminist's perspective, I said it was A feminist's perspective. The whole point of the post was to show that not all feminists agree or think the same way about this. I'm not trying to say that parts of 50 Shades aren't problematic... I 'm just not focusing on it because so much of what is in the media right now has already done that. Instead, I'm saying that there are a lot of things to celebrate about the movie vis-a-vis popular expression of female sexuality, despit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 11:16 PM |
| 2 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesI agree that it's a murky area and that the dialogue you suggests inspires necessary critical thought. What I don't appreciate (I'm not saying this is you at all) is people who try to shame women into rejecting these books/movies because it's not what they are "supposed to like". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 05:35 PM |
| 4 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesYour sentiment is one that has been frequently echoed by the media and feminists who are boycotting the movie. What I don't get is: why does everyone think that women who enjoy 50 Shades and Twilight are incapable of seeing those relationships for what they are: fucked up fantasy? Do we think women are stupid? ETA: And is that a good reason to ban something? "Let's protect the poor women who won't know any better." That's some bullshit right there. ETA^2: Sorry if that came off as harsh; not pis… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 05:11 PM |
| 3 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesSadly, I'm not in school anymore. But I've discussed it in various forums, ect. There are a lot of feminists who refuse to read/watch 50 shades because they are convinced it goes against everything they stand for. To those people I say, quit being such an elitist fuck. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 04:47 PM |
| 2 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 Shades100%? I would argue that there are definitely elements of abuse, but what relationship is perfect? Also, the movie handles this aspect way better than the books, IMO. As I said above, why are we expecting porn to portray perfectly PC, non-taboo relationships/sex? Plenty of porn is fucked up for a reason. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 04:45 PM |
| 6 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesYeah, it's definitely not high art. But, neither is 99% of porn out there. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about this. I'm more sympathetic to feminists who are boycotting the books/movie for its depiction of abuse, but I don't really agree that that is a good reason in this case. Plenty of porn portrays relationships that are fucked up in some way. Doesn't mean people actually want those things in real life. It turns us on because its taboo. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 04:43 PM |
| 12 | A Feminist's Perspective on 50 ShadesWell, I'm actually the dominant one in my relationship, so that's not technically accurate. And I'm a lesbian. So, unless you believe women can be alphas, no. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/15 04:41 PM |
| 1 | How can you claim that women are mentally children and also that it's wrong for women to get lighter sentences?MRAs are willing to engage with feminists. But that's a one way street. I've come across a handful of MRAs who were willing to engage with individual feminists (on Reddit and in person), but very few who were willing to actively work with feminists, especially when it comes to issues that disproportionately negatively affect women. I understand why that is the case-- MRAs have to pick their battles just as much as anyone else-- but if you are arguing that feminists naturally should put issues th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/15 08:32 PM |
| 1 | How can you claim that women are mentally children and also that it's wrong for women to get lighter sentences?No, I can't-- I'm not very well versed on whats been done regarding this specific issues (feminist or otherwise). My feeling that it isn't at the top of the list for most feminists. But, I think it probably should be something that is addressed more. And I think the first step to making that happen is for MRAs to seek to work with feminists and educate them about this issue without making it seem like a zero-sum game. I see it similar to how activists that care more about race issues have joined… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/15 04:30 PM |
| 5 | How can you claim that women are mentally children and also that it's wrong for women to get lighter sentences?I'm also a feminist, and ditto what /u/Succubista said! ETA: I get frustrated sometimes, because I do really care about this and other MRA-type issues. But when I try to talk to MRAs about it and express my support, all I get is a bunch of hatred. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/15 02:18 AM |
| 3 | Objectively speaking, how many young women (primarily on campuses) are going to hold third-wave feminist views?But why is being a "flamer" so bad? Because it makes you uncomfortable? I recommend you read "The Trouble with Normal" by Michael Warner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/15 07:35 PM |
| 5 | Objectively speaking, how many young women (primarily on campuses) are going to hold third-wave feminist views?Hmm, so based on your pro-Palestinian comment from earlier in the thread, it doesn't seem you are against activism-- just the kind of activism you don't personally agree with? I'm gay and married, and I will proudly tell people I'm gay if it comes up. Why? Because it damn sure beats being ashamed of myself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/15 07:18 PM |
| 4 | FUN TOPICYesterday I literally quoted you and you complained that I put words in your mouth. I want to make a joke about putting your words somewhere else, but something tells me you would take it way too seriously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/15 02:55 AM |
| 1 | At what point did you realize that you were beta?Yeah, but plenty of "bossy" women aren't very attractive, and queen bees are always hot. I wouldn't characterize Margaret Thatcher or Hilary Clinton as queen bees, but I would say they were "alpha" in more of the masculine sense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/15 12:24 AM |
| 2 | At what point did you realize that you were beta?What if a woman exhibits the traits associated with male alpha-ness? I.e., she is CEO of a company, has a high rate of sexual conquest (either male or female), doesn't care about what others think of her because they're not as good as her, ect. Does that fall under the queen-bee version of alpha? In my experience, most queen-bees care intensely about what others think. In RP world, are such women just bad women, because they are not womanly enough? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/15 12:13 AM |
| 2 | At what point did you realize that you were beta?Can a woman be alpha or beta? This is a serious question. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/15 12:01 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Huh, it's interesting to hear you describe it that way. People on here keep insisting that I'm bisexual, but that's pretty much exactly how I feel about men, especially now. I don't fantasize about men, I'm not turned on with the thought of being with men, beyond the thought of being penetrated by a penis, because hey, I remember it feeling pretty good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 04:00 PM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Wait wait wait. I have a close friend who is gay. As in, he is actually gay. He feels sexually attracted to men, and does not feel a shred of attraction to women. If I'm using my life's experiences, that's one notch up from you using your one gay friend's life experiences. I find it amusing that you have deemed yourself, a straight person, the arbiter of what it means to be gay and who can claim that label. you are using your life's experiences to draw inaccurate conclusions about the rest of th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 04:37 AM |
| 1 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Yeah, but you're a guy and it would be totally uncool for a guy to complain about sluts to other guys, because guys are supposed to be into sex. I can only speak for myself (and the anecdotal evidence shared by a handful of others I've talked to about this) but I would say that I have been shamed by an equal number of men and women. My father is probably the worst though. Things other women my age say to me I generally take with a grain of salt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 04:26 AM |
| 1 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Yeah, I used to struggle with this a lot. I've always felt like my sexuality is a choice, but I understand that there are plenty of people in the gay community (especially older folks) who have spent decades arguing the reverse. Eventually, I decided that it was more important to break down notions of sexuality being so black-and-white than it was to toe the party line (when I and others I know are living proof that it's not that simple). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 04:15 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Yeah, as much as the whole "Lesbians have daddy issues" trope is annoying, it's not always completely wrong. My dad fucked with my head when it came to men as well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 04:06 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Yes, technically I am a bisexual. I'm not denying that. But, the world views me as a lesbian, and for all intents and purposes, I view myself that way as well. I'm active in the lesbian community; I rarely sleep with women who don't also identify as lesbian. Out of curiosity, how gay does someone have to be, in your opinion, to be able to claim the label gay? 100%? Let me tell you-- almost every gay person I know has been sexually attracted to a member of the opposite sex at least once in their … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 03:52 AM |
| 4 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.But then there's also a way bigger social stigma for gay guys than there is for gay girls. I've lost count of the number of so-called straight girls I've witnessed making out at parties to get male attention. Guys, on the other hand, would have to be in a pretty unusual situation to be making out with each other just to get women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 03:48 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Cool. I support you in the way you choose to identify, just as I ask others to support me when I choose to identify as lesbian rather than bisexual. It's not like there's a right and wrong answer here. That being said, I would never choose to be straight, even if I could. Maybe that's the difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 03:36 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.There is not a single person in the world that can claim that the trajectory of their life has not been somehow shaped by societal expectation. It's just not realistic to say that one should live without caring at all what others think. It wasn't so much that people said mean things to me-- if that's all it was, then I would have ignored it. It was that after a while, I began to feel dirty simply for acting on my own instinct to have lots of sex, and I hated myself and the men I slept with for i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 02:06 AM |
| -1 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Alright, I guess I don't understand what we are arguing here. It seems like we mostly agree. It's not like I think the average woman will wake up and say, "gee, I should be with women because being with men is hard". I was just pointing out that for me, it was a huge factor in my decision to choose to be with women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:52 AM |
| 1 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.I wasn't saying that many women would choose to be gay because of slut shaming. In fact, I specifically noted that I was an exception and that my choice was only made possible by the fact that I was already bisexual. What is the problem with that? No, gay rights needs to get the point where society allows all people to love who they want, regardless of lables. We're not there yet, but saying "It's never a choice" is just naive and untrue. I know plenty of bisexuals for whom being in LTRs with a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:32 AM |
| 0 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Well, for what it's worth, I never asked you or anyone else to "pick a side". I simply shared a story of how I made that choice for myself. Why is that so threatening to you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:27 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.I think you're about a decade out of step with gay rights. There are plenty of gay people that believe sexuality is a spectrum and we choose who we love-- male or female. The problem is thinking only one of those choices is the "correct" choice, when in reality, people should be free to love whom they like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:23 AM |
| 1 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.I staunchly believe sexuality is a spectrum. For most people that aren't very close to 100% gay or 100% straight, this means that there exist potential partners of either sex. Thus, we choose which gender we want to be with long term. I don't understand why you think it's bullshit for me to choose to be with women exclusively because I don't want to deal with conforming to gender role expectations. Is that so hard to believe? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:18 AM |
| 3 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Are you a lesbian? I'm curious to know what qualifies you to judge the validity of the label or my personal experience of my own sexuality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:08 AM |
| 0 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Yes. The term "lesbian" can be used in a number of ways. I identify as such now because I am married to a woman and would not consider being in any type of LTR with a man. I have always been attracted to both genders. I started identifying as a strict lesbian in college because I was sick of being judged for sleeping with men and decided it wasn't worth it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:06 AM |
| 3 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Well, you yourself just said me sleeping with many men was a "failing". Isn't that shaming? Maybe you are a woman. In my experience, it was pretty much equal. I will admit, I am especially sensitive to this type of shaming because of what I observed in my parents relationship and things my father said to my mother when I was growing up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 01:04 AM |
| 2 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.You seem to think you know a lot about me. I could sit here and tell you all the ways you're off base, but it probably wouldn't change your assumptions. I will say that many of the men I slept with were quite good in bed. I had many threesomes and used more toys than I can count. I do find myself really missing being with men sometimes, but at the end of the day, it just isn't worth the hassle and judgement. Also, just because I choose to not be monogamous doesn't mean I am incapable of it. It's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/15 12:58 AM |
| 3 | I love sex and didn't want to be criticized for being slutty. So I became a lesbian.Okay, I suppose I should have said that I craved many exciting sexual experiences, and sleeping with many different people allowed me to have that, whereas sleeping with one person for a long time eventually got boring. And yes, I still like to sleep with many women. My wife and I have an open marriage. I don't know many men that would be okay with that, even blue pill men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/15 11:58 PM |
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