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Delicious_Ad_1853 Archive

View 0 posts and 1,233 comments by Delicious_Ad_1853 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,233 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Why? Life gets so much easier when you learn how to meet people who want what you want. Expecting people to change on your behalf is a fools errand.
/r/seduction15/03/24 08:36 PM
1

Right, so make sure you're using it wisely with the long-term goals in mind.
/r/seduction14/03/24 10:16 AM
5

Ok. and then what? This is a problem that won't go away on its own. One way or another, you have to keep attacking it if you want anything to change. P.S. Months are meaningless. Your social deficit was created over the course of a decade or more, right? It will take you *years* to overcome. It's worth it, though, cuz you'll get to enjoy the rewards for like 50 freaking years. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
/r/seduction12/03/24 05:34 PM
5

Your anxiety is what's keeping you from talking to women, right? So... what are you doing to overcome your anxiety? This stuff isn't easy, but it ain't rocket science either. If you don't attack your roadblock, you will remain blocked.
/r/seduction12/03/24 04:58 PM
14

Living a good life is all about striking a balance between conflicting behaviors. If you're extremely generous with your time, affection, and resources, you will be instantly attractive to anyone that's extremely needy. If you're extremely selfish about everything, you will be instantly attractive to anyone who thinks they don't deserve anything. But someone who's living a balanced life... is less flashy than either of those two extremes. For two well-adjusted people to find each other and asses…
/r/seduction12/03/24 02:42 PM
2

Learned how to push past fears/anxiety. Pursued my passions. Talked to women along the way. Offered some of them the opportunity to try out my bed. It ain't rocket science. You just have to fight your way through the fears and excuses.
/r/seduction01/03/24 08:26 PM
3

To have more sexual experiences with women, you have to talk to women and express your sexual interest.
/r/seduction18/02/24 08:10 PM
12

Kino escalation. Touch is the difference between friends and lovers.
/r/seduction15/02/24 01:36 PM
6

Excellent point! You definitely have to push through that initial discomfort and trust that it will get easier in time.
/r/seduction14/02/24 07:14 PM
2

A proper shit test is basically just a friendly tease. Taking it in stride is the right move. If it comes across more as a bitchy judgement or whatever, she's either really not interested or she screwed up her delivery. Either way, move on. She can chase you down if she wants to apologize and try again.
/r/seduction14/02/24 03:31 PM
99

There's nothing you can do, nothing you can carry, nothing you can say... that will change the reality you are going out alone and judgey people will judge you for it. What will make things so much better for you is acceptance. You need to be comfortable with the fact that you're single. You need to be comfortable with the fact that you're looking for a partner. You need to realize that this is all perfectly normal and natural. When your head is at peace with where you are and where you're going…
/r/seduction14/02/24 01:17 PM
1

That's a whole lot of coincidences out of the first girl. More likely that she's telling little lies to avoid saying what she really means. Lots of people do it, but be careful... it can turn into a major problem if she's the kind that *never* says what she means. It sounds like the girl at the club is intentionally keeping her distance. That's a bad sign. It sounds like you're overdue for making a firm move there. Get her number or whatever. Ask her out for a one-on-one drink or something. If s…
/r/seduction13/02/24 08:53 PM
61

Pretend for a minute that your fears are true. Pretending that approaching one woman immediately soured every other woman in the room. You have no choice but to leave immediately afterwards. In that case, you opened 1 woman. If you let your fears stop you, on the other hand, you'll open 0 women, with 0% chance of ever getting anywhere. Which course is better?
/r/seduction13/02/24 05:05 PM
3

Coffee or ice cream or whatever. The consumable is just an excuse for two people to be in the same room for a little while. Invite her to come grocery shopping with you, if you truly can't think of anything else. If she's into you, she'll go along with it.
/r/seduction12/02/24 09:33 PM
5

It sounds like you (and dozens of upvoters) misunderstand "oneitis". It is absolutely ok to date monogamously and develop an LTR. That's not "oneitis". Oneitis is when a guy gets fixated on a woman that he's not dating. It's when he's investing all of his energy in someone he's too chicken-shit to ask out. That is what'll ruin a guy. As far as dating multiple women simultaneously, that's good to help keep things from getting carried away during the honeymoon period, but it's still totally ok to …
/r/seduction12/02/24 07:01 AM
0

Nobody should be obsessed over anybody after only a few dates. Hell, it should take months before anybody is seriously invested. So it's good that you're attracting women who are even-keeled. The problem is that you're not. Work on that.
/r/seduction12/02/24 06:42 AM
144

The cool thing about being a guy is that you don't have to worry about mixed signals. You have to take the initiative, cuz she's not going to. The sooner you do, the better. Ask her out for a drink or something. If she says yes, she's interested. If she makes an excuse, she's not. It's that simple.
/r/seduction12/02/24 12:59 AM
37

It's important to understand that there are countless varieties of women. The similarities that you're noticing amongst your partners are NOT applicable to ALL women... They're just applicable to the women that you're currently attracting. So perhaps the question you need to ask is: what can you do to attract women that are more independent?
/r/seduction11/02/24 04:48 PM
2

I think mystery method does a very good job of describing the structure of the dating process. Add in the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder and you'll have a good mechanical idea of how it all works. From there, it's all about repetition and internalizing everything so you can do it on autopilot.
/r/seduction08/02/24 01:22 AM
6

I'm glad to hear I misunderstood. Ya never know on here. Sorry I got lost in the triple negatives.
/r/seduction07/02/24 12:32 PM
0

Your strategy is to make a woman feel unsafe around you? Jfc
/r/seduction07/02/24 12:15 PM
10

The fundamentals of dating are timeless. The details of communication have changed greatly along with technology. The styles were always personal.
/r/seduction06/02/24 04:39 PM
1

The odds of success if you don't ask her out: 0% The odds of success if you DO: Greater than 0% "Be yourself" is annoyingly cliche advice because it's the only thing that really works over the long run. If you muster up some fake personality to impress her, the best case scenario is that it works and you spend the rest of your life pretending to be that person, like an actor who nevers gets to step off stage. Let her see the real you. It sounds like she already likes the real you anyways. It'll …
/r/seduction29/01/24 10:52 PM
4

A bit of a tangent, but a cool thing happens when you routinely ask questions that already "know"... You sometimes get answers that you hadn't thought of before, which will expand your awareness. Go ahead and be humble about what you think you already know. It'll be good for you.
/r/seduction29/01/24 11:31 AM
6

A villain is every bit as weak as a pushover. The only difference is who suffers from the bad behavior. Your goal should instead be to create habits of good behavior. Learn to simply be comfortable asking for what you and to saying no to things you don't want. That's the path of a strong man. Nothing underhanded, nothing cruel. Just honest commitment to what you want out of life.
/r/seduction28/01/24 01:52 PM
28

Proximity/availability [End of list] If she's into you, she'll look for excuses to be nearby you and she'll definitely say yes when you invite her to something. You really don't need anything more than that. If she's evasive or otherwise distant, leave her alone and move on.
/r/seduction28/01/24 12:42 AM
4

If you ask any good storyteller, their stories are good because they tell them often and they refine them along the way. Eventually the story the story becomes good enough that they can jump into it at any moment and command the audience's attention. Routines are the same thing, except they're fictional. Tell it well enough and everybody will have a good time. If you sound like you're reading a script, it'll fall flat. Long-term success will of course depend on you creating your own, personal st…
/r/seduction26/01/24 09:47 PM
1

Be the best version of yourself. If you love going to football games and living in the town you're in, by all means, stay put and keep renewing your season tickets. But you also want to grow as a person, right? So if you're a bad storyteller and you'd like to get better at that, put in the work and make that change! If you've got a bad temper or battle depression or whatever, put in the work to improve your mental health. And if you're overly available to any women who gives you the slightest bi…
/r/seduction26/01/24 07:08 PM
1

The ones being scared of me because of my demographic group are bigots What about the ones that are scared of you because you refuse to acknowledge their desire to end the conversation? I'm always changing how I interact with women, and people in general Glad to hear it. I hope you'll increase your empathy for those that want to end a conversation with subtle cues.
/r/seduction27/12/23 01:12 AM
1

You know you're going to fail to create a good experience a certain, sizeable percentage of the time. You know a certain, sizeable percentage of them will interpret your persistence as a sign of significant personal danger. You accept no responsibility for the fear that they feel You have no desire to change how you interact with women. Is that a fair summary?
/r/seduction25/12/23 08:11 PM
1

Remember a few comments ago when I asked if you were concerned about the impact your failures have on other people? Sounds like the answer is a resounding "no". And let's just be perfectly clear here: all I'm advocating for here is that you pay attention to her social cues and respectfully move on when she indicates that she's not interested in continuing the conversation. It's the basic courtesy that I would extend to anyone.
/r/seduction21/12/23 12:45 PM
1

It's not any different that inadvertently giving a man a bad experience Run that claim by the females in your family and get back to me. I suspect they'll tell you that their bad experiences with men include a very real fear of sexual violence. That fear grows with every hint that you refuse to take because she has no idea if you're ever going to accept "no" for answer. The dude on the bus doesn't have that same fear. You're just a mild annoyance to him.
/r/seduction19/12/23 11:42 PM
1

Tell me more about these personal failures of yours. When you inadvertently give a woman a bad experience, how do you handle that?
/r/seduction16/12/23 03:32 AM
1

Your success rate is less than 100%, right? Do you have any concern for the effect your actions have on those you fail to seduce?
/r/seduction08/12/23 06:26 PM
1

Have you noticed how much your arguments focus on what you want and what you feel you have a right to do? Your feelings and goals are important and valid, of course, but so are hers. Aren't you concerned about the effect your actions have on the people that you're trying to connect with? Isn't there a point of diminishing returns where her desire to exit the conversation gracefully outweighs your attempt to get laid?
/r/seduction08/12/23 01:42 AM
1

I said she can also tell you to leave. If she's afraid of doing that because of how you might react, that's the fault of... There's more to life than figuring out who to blame for a problem. Besides, if your social skills are as good as you claim they are, she shouldn't have to resort to such a blunt response for you to get the message.
/r/seduction04/12/23 05:27 PM
1

she can just walk away When I said "leave the interaction" I didn't mean that she should have to physically leave. It's not her duty to leave the place that she came to shop/exercise/relax/etc just because you don't want to take a hint. I think you should spend some time reflecting on what it would be like to be continually hounded like that everywhere you. I agree that polite rejections are naturally ambiguous and it can be hard for a rookie to tell the difference between that and a natural lul…
/r/seduction03/12/23 12:38 AM
2

Your second paragraph is PERFECT example of the plowing-through mentality that I was referring to. OP, don't force a woman to stay in an interaction that she's trying to exit. She's free to leave at any time and her polite attempts at doing so should be respected.
/r/seduction01/12/23 08:15 PM
30

cold approaching, physically escalating Cold approaching is still the only way a stranger can meet a stranger in real life. It happens every day. And physical escalation is still the only way for two people to become physical with each other. What's changed is that there's a greater emphasis on explicit and enthusiastic consent. Whereas men used to be encouraged to plow through resistance because women were presumed to be playing coy or giving shit tests, you should now assume that signs of disi…
/r/seduction01/12/23 03:41 PM
1

That's fine if that's what you want. Personally, I'm glad that I put in the work to be actually comfortable around people. It's much more fun, especially since I don't have to worry about what would happen if I ever lost my status symbols.
/r/seduction06/09/23 12:41 PM
6

Depends on your goal... Do you want to go through life comfortable in a wide variety of social circumstances or do you just want people to think you're comfortable in social circumstances?
/r/seduction06/09/23 04:22 AM
1

Cool story, bro.
/r/seduction23/10/22 11:37 AM
35

However, the importance of physical appearance is glossed over What a crock a shit. Such obvious clickbait 🙄 Standard dogma here is: * Get in shape * Push through your anxiety * Improve your people skills When you hear someone downplaying physical attributes, we're talking about the ones that can't be changed. Your height is your height, so get over it. Your jawbone ain't changing either. Or you skin tone or your penis size or whatever else you're hung up on. You have to work through your mental…
/r/seduction23/10/22 02:46 AM
9

I wish you better success in the future! It's not a fast process, but you can definitely turn things around if you put in the work.
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:01 PM
25

You gotta set your boundaries wherever you think they belong, but I hope you understand that most people don't take hugs anywhere near that seriously.
/r/seduction22/10/22 10:46 PM
1

I guess that's true... if you're desperate. I shoot down hookups-that-want-to-be-more all the time. That's beside the point, though. Your original comment was about how you don't go on dates with anyone until after you've slept with them. That's a very... limiting strategy.
/r/seduction22/10/22 10:13 PM
1

I don't even understand what you're trying to say, but don't make major life decisions based on bumper sticker wisdom. If you're considering investing in this relationship, focus on what you know about your compatibility so far. Then reconsider periodically as you learn more about how the two of you mesh together.
/r/seduction22/10/22 08:23 PM
7

It sounds like you're holding on to some seriously outdated stereotypes, so yeah, I guess we have different views of the world.
/r/seduction22/10/22 07:44 PM
14

You seem to have this view where loyalty and sexual experience are mutually exclusive. They are not. Loyalty is just one of a thousand characteristics a person is looking for in a partner. A guy who has had 30 women jump into bed probably has a lot of those characteristics, quite often including loyalty.
/r/seduction22/10/22 06:04 PM
10

The peer pressure isn't good, but if you're friends are halfway decent people, they'll quickly grow out of that in adulthood. Most virgin adult men are stressing about it because it's a shorthand for loneliness. The virginity is a symptom of a larger problem: they don't know how to meet and connect with women.
/r/seduction22/10/22 05:37 PM
101

For established adults, the third date is a pretty good benchmark. If you're not comfortable with each other by then, there are probably some red flags floating around. But it's certainly not a firm rule. Whatever your approach to sex, though, you still need to get some physicality going on. Kiss, cuddle, hold hands, whatever. If there isn't any romantic contact, then yeah, you're in the friend zone.
/r/seduction22/10/22 03:57 PM
1

Thinking about good looking tall guys being happy doesn't change his situation either. He needs to stop worrying about other people and start spending his energy in useful directions.
/r/seduction22/10/22 03:50 PM
1

I agree with everything you're saying. I was responding to a guy that's pushing for pure hookups only, which is... a rather limiting approach.
/r/seduction22/10/22 03:42 PM
15

Plenty of good looking depressed people in the world.
/r/seduction22/10/22 03:37 PM
2

Or maybe she has to pee. Only one way to find out: Assume attraction and approach. Don't be this guy: https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw
/r/seduction22/10/22 12:29 PM
1

That's a fine approach if you really are focused on being a manwhore, but there are plenty of us that don't getting to know a woman a little bit before rushing into bed. Be careful not to project your personal priorities when giving advice to rookies.
/r/seduction22/10/22 12:05 PM
3

Flirting can be as simple as strong eye contact and a smirk. Kino and standing closer than usual also help set the "more than friends" vibe.
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:58 AM
28

Everybody loves compliments and reinforcement, but if your sense of self is results-oriented, you're gonna have a very turbulent life as the results are sure to vary. 🎢
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:43 AM
13

You'll find mixed opinions because it mostly doesn't matter. No matter how you meet, you should be conveying your interest enough through flirting and light kino for her to realize that your intentions are more than friendly. P.S. Dinner is an awful first date. Stop doing that.
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:40 AM
48

Like, surely if I get laid enough times by pretty women, I’d think I’m hot shit, right? No, that kind of external validation is very fleeting. You'll be much better off if you do the emotional work to love your genetics as they are.
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:34 AM
54

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:31 AM
2

That would explain why people run away when you start sharing your views. Better hide the book.
/r/seduction22/10/22 11:04 AM
1

If you can explain your views in a way that even an opponent can begrudgingly respect, why would she leave? It sounds much more like know your explanation is going to disgust her. Perhaps you should reflect on that.
/r/seduction22/10/22 02:56 AM
2

If you just want to get, hide everything that's likely to cause a problem. Also, if you can't explain your views in a matter-of-fact way that even an opponent can begrudgingly respect, you either need to improve your communication skills or re-evaluate your views.
/r/seduction22/10/22 02:33 AM
1

No, shouldn't try to convince anyone of anything. The goal here is to improve your social skills so that 1) you're a more interesting person to be around and 2) you're more likely to notice when someone is attracted to you.
/r/seduction21/10/22 08:23 AM
1

I am trying to decide if I want to ask her out or not Of course you want to. You wouldn't be putting all this thought into her if you didn't. I really can’t gauge where she is at, if she is just doing it for her job or what. This is the problem with crushing people you have a business relationship with. Often it is just about the job. But... she's just some bartender, so you have nothing to lose by shooting your shot. The sooner, the better.
/r/seduction21/10/22 07:57 AM
2

It's pretty much always appropriate to ask someone out. It's merely an invitation, after all. What's creepy is when you try to hide your interest for weeks and months, waiting for "the right moment" or whatever. She pretty much always sees through your charade and gets uncomfortable every time you badly flirt while pretending you're not flirting.
/r/seduction20/10/22 01:31 PM
3

You're not wrong LTRs, but remember that there are plenty of guys that are happy to trade affirmation for sex. If women (as a whole) want to get fewer knee-jerk compliments, they're going to have to (as a whole) ask for them less often. We'd stop doing it if it didn't work.
/r/seduction20/10/22 06:11 AM
3

You're absolutely right that the ambiguity is a bitch to decipher. It's hard to tell when a woman is fishing for a compliment or just stating a fact in passing. Also, responding with a knee-jerk compliment every time is not ideal for anyone. This is a learning sub, so we should all be looking to get better at deciphering which is which.
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:58 AM
2

Im sorry someone hurt you with makeup. I hope you heal quickly. !Someone please warn him about Spanx and pushup bras!!<
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:44 AM
3

Yeah, i get that. Girls start thinking they can trust guys and then boom! With a little bit of misdirection, it's like taking candy from a baby.
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:35 AM
1

::scrolls posting history:: You're a real piece of work, aren't ya? Feel free to unsub.
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:28 AM
1

Indeed, it can be very hard to tell the difference between someone fishing for a compliment and someone who is merely stating a fact in passing. Even the best of us are going to get it wrong occasionally. I'm glad you see that there's room for improvement on both sides of the coin. I hope this community sees it too.
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:24 AM
-1

If you want to improve your dating life, you should take opportunities to better understand the people that you want to date. In this case, she's trying to tell you that compliments are a dangerous game to play. Sometimes they're affirming, of course, but sometimes they come across wrong. Tread carefully and remember that your opinion is not always wanted.
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:08 AM
1

You're definitely not wrong. We need to offer our opinions less often. Also, we're not blind to the fact that society judges women harshly against beauty standards and we certainly want to affirm women wherever we can. So...it's a double edged sword. The ideal is for everybody (of every gender) to place less importance on a woman's appearance... but that's gonna take many generations. In the meantime, thank you for coming to chat with us. Hopefully the community will hear you when say that we ca…
/r/seduction20/10/22 05:00 AM
12

Cool, get it man. Guys like you make life reallllllll easy for guys like me. Girls get so used to all the bullshit that a little bit of honest humility is worth it's weight in gold. Best wishes!
/r/seduction20/10/22 03:42 AM
20

Ok, so it sounds like you understand that your advice is fake as hell, but you're ok with that because you feel like women are also fake as hell. I hear that and there's certainly some truth there. Feel free to play that game if you want to. But keep in mind that your best case scenario is that you end up with someone who's too stupid to realize that you're full of shit.
/r/seduction20/10/22 03:35 AM
16

Cool, so what are you gonna do when she wants to go to San Diego with her jetsetting boyfriend? She's gonna be a little surprised when you're flying coach and staying at a Best Western, right?
/r/seduction20/10/22 03:27 AM
30

Cool, but what are you going to do when she realizes you're faking everything? #AuthenticityWinsInTheEnd
/r/seduction20/10/22 03:08 AM
2

I have no idea what the word means to you, but it looks like we all agree that dating involves the process of increasing physical intimacy in response to cues, right?
/r/seduction18/10/22 04:41 PM
6

I'm sure everyone here will tell you they want to learn, so I look forward to your upcoming teaching efforts. Hopefully they come in a rant-free format.
/r/seduction18/10/22 04:38 PM
3

Congratulations, you just reinvented the wheel.
/r/seduction18/10/22 04:34 PM
8

This entire sub is about teaching men to read social cues. 🤷‍♂️
/r/seduction18/10/22 03:47 PM
2

Perhaps we can refer to them as Indicators of Interest? Maybe even abbreviate it as IOI?
/r/seduction18/10/22 03:42 PM
3

Perhaps by looking for common body language that indicates she might be interested?
/r/seduction18/10/22 03:12 PM
12

You seem to be fixating on lingo as if those concepts are somehow new things that only exist within the seduction community. The reality is that the words were all coined as teaching tools to describe things that "naturally" successful men were already doing. Naturals go out looking for single women, they just don't call it "sarging". They start conversations with a topic that's relevant to the current environment, but they don't call it a "situational opener". They get her contact information, …
/r/seduction18/10/22 03:06 PM
15

I stand corrected. You're clearly a thoughtful man who has already considered the matter from many angles.
/r/seduction18/10/22 04:17 AM
37

For certain people at a certain stage in life, this all probably good advice. It doesn't need to be this complicated, though. The real lesson: Don't do shit as a way to get something. That's manipulative and it leaves you vulnerable to anyone that can out-manipulate you. It all gets wayyyyy easier if you slow it all down and just be real about what you want. It'll push away the people that want something different and attract the ones that want the same.
/r/seduction18/10/22 03:04 AM
11

If you think your definition of "morals" is unaffected by your socioeconomic status, you should spend more time studying the subject.
/r/seduction18/10/22 02:56 AM
13

trashier lays I think the answer lies in your word choice. If you're only interested in women of a certain socioeconomic class, then yes, your results will be much, much better if you have the various status symbols that are expected in that class. That's a no-brainer, right? There are exceptions, but obviously your odds of winning the status game will be much better if you have the symbols. Also, status is a dangerous game to play. The path is paved with fools gold.
/r/seduction18/10/22 12:47 AM
6

Cool story, brah. I look forward to seeing examples of your double-amputee approach to dating.
/r/seduction17/10/22 03:11 PM
7

Ah, so he just has to learn your steps. Not those other, weird steps. And he's supposed to learn all of that stuff instantly without any mistakes or growth process along the way. Got it. 👌
/r/seduction17/10/22 02:53 PM
2

My bad, I should have been able to read your mind about "weird steps". 🙄 That's great that your game is so strong that women are constantly pawing at you! If a rookie waited around for that to happen, though, he'd die a very, very lonely man.
/r/seduction17/10/22 02:45 PM
3

Your rant was about openers. Now you're talking about kino. Good job moving the goalposts, brah. 😉 But yes, kino is essential. How the hell you gonna put your penis in a women without touching her??? Of course you have to break the touch barrier. That's on dates, though. I wouldn't do it during a cold approach and I don't see anyone else advocating for that either.
/r/seduction17/10/22 02:32 PM
5

Your rant would make sense if this sub still pushed canned openers, but I can't even remember the last time I saw anything like that on here. The consensus is pretty strong towards inner game and observational openers.
/r/seduction17/10/22 02:25 PM
95

They're afraid of rejection, so the excuses help protect their egos. They're not completely wrong. The days of blindly ploughing through objections are over. If you want to be a decent person, you have to find the right balance between assertive and intrusive.
/r/seduction17/10/22 02:21 PM
1

What's this fatalistic bullshit? The whole point of this sub is to teach men how to build it. If you're not on board with that, get the fuck out of here.
/r/seduction16/10/22 09:08 PM
11

Lead the interaction. Theres a lot of bro-science and toxic nonsense floating around, but really the only thing you have to do as a man in this society is to confidently some decisions about logistics and escalating kino. P.S. Keep in that leading and dominating are two very different things. A leader initiates and casts tiebreaking votes, but he doesn't get pushy. Always respect her veto power.
/r/seduction16/10/22 12:06 PM
0

Sounds like your gonna be fine! Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
/r/seduction14/10/22 12:19 PM
1

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder
/r/seduction14/10/22 12:27 AM
22

Depends on what you consider fun. If your idea of fun is nothing but videogames, memes, and otherwise avoiding real life social opportunities, then no, women will never come naturally. But if you regularly put yourself out there socially, your social life is sure to improve over time. Bonus points if you supplement your real life experience with the occasional self-improvement book.
/r/seduction13/10/22 05:20 PM
81

Dating becomes easier when you get good at it. Be thoughtful and intentional about the growth of your social skills and you will reap the rewards throughout your life. If you hide in your comfort zone instead, your life will surely stagnate.
/r/seduction13/10/22 04:11 PM
6

Ok, maybe it'll be equally bad. Maybe you'll spend so much time whining on Reddit that you never learn how meet women. But I'm optimistic that that's not the case. I think you're here in this sub because you recognize that you can improve your social skills and i think you'll eventually outgrow the insecurities that are blocking your success.
/r/seduction13/10/22 02:58 PM
3

Are you taking about stamina? It's highly overrated and there are pills if you need them. What actually matters is your ability to attract partners and on that note, your future is certainly looking better than your past.
/r/seduction13/10/22 02:48 PM
10

It doesn't matter what the average man's prime is. What matters is that your prime is still ahead of you. Put in the work and go get it!
/r/seduction13/10/22 02:40 PM
0

I'm willing to bet your the only one here that even knew it was the name of a disorder. After all, that guy didn't capitalize it, use the word "disorder", or anything else to indicate that he was referring to the ICD. He simply used a noun and an adjective that happen to have special meaning to you. So... Ok, you made your point. Have a nice day.
/r/seduction13/10/22 02:26 PM
0

We generally use the term "approach anxiety", but I think it's safe to say that you're the only one looking at this conversation through a clinical lens. This is a reddit sub, not a medical facility.
/r/seduction12/10/22 09:48 AM
2

Every time that you want to approach a woman, but you don't... That's fear. Every time you want to ask her out, but don't... That's fear. Etc etc etc. Bravery is acting in spite of fear.
/r/seduction11/10/22 05:07 PM
10

Stereotypes and generalizations will get you nowhere good. Quit looking for a shortcut and start building your social skills.
/r/seduction11/10/22 01:41 PM
3

Check his post history. None of this should be taken as medical advice. Whatever you want to call it, the point is that he needs to be braver when socializing.
/r/seduction11/10/22 01:13 PM
24

Years of experience in this sub. If you came in here asking for advice on how to increase your dating life, it'd make sense to ask a lot of questions about where things are underperforming. But if you're in your 20s and you sex life is still at zero, the problem is almost certainly that you're not putting yourself out there enough. You won't get anywhere until you push through your mental blocks.
/r/seduction11/10/22 05:02 AM
3

Don't worry about "what you're looking for" until you have some experience under your belt. Fantasies are great, but often reality is quite different. Just focus on building up your social skills and talking to women. You won't get anywhere until you can do that.
/r/seduction10/10/22 01:14 PM
12

How many approaches have you done in the past year? Doing one single approach each week, would put you at over 50 approaches for the year. That's a pretty low bar, right? Have you done 50 approaches? If not, you're focusing on the wrong thing. Quit looking for some magic shortcut. It doesn't exist. tldr: Learn the fundamentals and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction08/10/22 12:49 PM
15

Did you seriously just spam that to 20 different subs? Get the fuck outta here, dude.
/r/seduction08/10/22 05:08 AM
4

You’re right. The thing is that, she’s the one that got the idea that I should come to her house, tbh I wasn’t prepared for this lmao. I don’t see myself in a relationship with her, but FWB ? Why not… What should I do if this happens again ?
/r/seduction08/10/22 04:47 AM
1

Fuck marriage, he's a loooong way away from worrying about who might want to marry him. He doesn't even know what kind of woman he wants to marry, so how could he possibly know what would impress her? For his dating life to ever get anywhere, he needs to spend the next couple years just learning how to consistently talk to women. That'll get a steady flow of dates coming in and eventually some relationships and then he'll start to figure out how he wants to spend the rest of his life. tldr: If y…
/r/seduction08/10/22 04:03 AM
3

The problem is that you're not dating enough. If you had more women in your life, you wouldn't feel so much pressure to lock one in with a label. You would instead be able to let a relationship blossom at a natural pace.
/r/seduction07/10/22 10:10 PM
14

Instead? Everybody else manages to build their career, friends, family, and dating lives in parallel, but you're telling OP he has to figure everything else out before he's allowed to date?
/r/seduction07/10/22 10:07 PM
1

That's for you to decide. What is you would be asking her to do? Assuming a "yes" would probably destroy her current relationship, do you even really want her to accept whatever offer you make?
/r/seduction07/10/22 06:53 PM
8

When I read that line, it instantly killed my romantic hopes and expectations with her. No, it didn't. You're clearly still trying to get with her. I'm gonna just leave this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xtuqqb/comment/iqs5vvr/
/r/seduction07/10/22 06:39 PM
1

Cool story, bro. Misogyny is still pretty popular, so I'm sure your little rant will get you a lot of upvotes. Also, looking down on people leads nowhere good. I hope you're able to soften that chip on your shoulder.
/r/seduction07/10/22 06:02 PM
8

There's nothing special about cons from a social standpoint. If you want to be more social and make more friends, you have to be willing to make the first move. Say "hi" even when you have no "reason" to. Ask about someone's background life even when you have no "reason" to. Invite someone to whatever you're doing next, even if you have no "reason" to. The more you're willing to extend olive branches, the more you'll connect to people. Go get it!
/r/seduction07/10/22 03:48 AM
10

Mostly, this sub is intended for guys that are way behind schedule on the whole dating thing. As a high schooler, you're right about where you should be in the whole learning process, so don't get hung up on the details. Just give it your best shot and bank on the fact that she is nervous and awkward too! The one piece of advice I'll give is that you need to stop trying to conceal your interest. Someone has to show their romantic interest first and in this society, it's pretty much always the gu…
/r/seduction07/10/22 03:13 AM
6

I got $100 that says nobody accepts this bet because they all know /u/nycthrow99999 is right. tl;dr: It's turtles all the way down.
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:49 AM
15

Good stuff, thanks for sharing! Curious about your thoughts on using video clips in your profile, now that that's a thing.
/r/seduction07/10/22 02:28 AM
0

Cool story, bro. It all makes a lot more sense now that I know this is part of your marketing effort. It's understandable that you only see the part of the dating world that throws around money.
/r/seduction06/10/22 05:18 PM
0

It’s very diverse I agree. This includes women and their dating priorities, btw.
/r/seduction06/10/22 04:44 PM
1

Here's something i know very well after decades of helping out in communities like this: The world is full of rookies using stereotypes as an excuse for inaction, aka "limiting beliefs". But who knows, maybe you're special. Maybe all 4 million of your neighbors really do all have the same personality and priorities. I doubt it.
/r/seduction06/10/22 02:27 PM
0

My bad, is LA the one place in the world where a stereotype fits everybody? Silly me thinking individual people had individual personalities. 🙄
/r/seduction06/10/22 01:22 PM
56

Non-food dates Cook at home
/r/seduction06/10/22 03:35 AM
7

if you aren’t in a position to spoil your dates, you are too broke to be dating Get the fuck outta here with that shit. Don't listen to anything this prick says, OP. You dont ever have to pay for a woman's attention.
/r/seduction06/10/22 02:57 AM
1

Whatever your opinion about whether she should be upset, we can agree that she is upset, right? Calling the text inappropriate is about as firm as a rejection can get without being mean.
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:36 PM
1

But entrapping her for a few weeks is ok?
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:25 PM
2

Because he doesn't have to worry about long-term awkwardness?
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:20 PM
2

Did you notice how my hypothetical posed a safety issue and your response didn't address safety at all? I think that's why you're having trouble understanding her perspective.
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:03 PM
5

You're right that shes probably perfectly safe. I agree with your assessment. We aren't the ones in the situation, though. Does she feel safe? I guarantee she feels less safe than she felt yesterday. Remember, she didn't simply decline. She said that his advance was so unwelcome as to be inappropriate. He missed the mark badly and he should set aside his ego for the 30 seconds it would take to let her know that he received the message and is taking it seriously. That's just basic social decency.
/r/seduction05/10/22 02:57 PM
-3

Yes. Now, ask yourself... Why do most women refuse to have male roommates?
/r/seduction05/10/22 02:41 PM
1

I'm glad you agree that context matters. Now...You know the part of that context that you conveniently left out? That's the part that matters.
/r/seduction05/10/22 02:38 PM
1

Yeah, try sending that same text to your buddy's wife and let me know how that goes over. Context matters.
/r/seduction05/10/22 02:33 PM
1

True, nobody can make him be a decent person. He can choose a different path if he wants.
/r/seduction05/10/22 01:41 PM
6

The underlying theme there is that you're always choosing the path that protects your ego from the possibility of rejection. To build a healthy dating life, you'll need to learn how to take some social risks.
/r/seduction05/10/22 12:51 PM
3

I agree that it depends. Now, let's say you sent your boss a text at 10:30pm one night saying, "I want to kill you." Do you honestly think you're gonna be able to walk into work the next morning and just play it off as a joke?
/r/seduction05/10/22 12:32 PM
10

Do all of your bosses and coworkers know exactly how you feel about them? Or do you understand that not every feeling is appropriate to act on?
/r/seduction05/10/22 12:18 PM
26

The problem is that you made your move against a captive target. The reason we talk about cold approaches so much is that a random woman out in a public place is free to walk away any time she wants. There's no safety issue. This is your roommate. She's trapped. She's gonna be sleeping with one eye open for the next few weeks, praying that you don't get drunk and rapey one night. That's not cool.
/r/seduction05/10/22 12:12 PM
25

This is OP's roommate and it sure sounds like he considers her a friend. Are your conflict resolution skills so poor that you would just blow off an upset friend just because he's moving soon? C'mon, that's weak shit right there. Even if you don't understand why your friend is upset, at the very least a decent person would sit down and have a serious conversation about it. That's just basic respect for a friend. And if you seriously don't understand why this friend is upset, spend some time thin…
/r/seduction05/10/22 12:06 PM
19

The exact words don't really matter as long as you're sincere and to the point like she was. As the one who messed up, you don't get to be the one that lightens the mood. She'll want to see that you understand that she's genuinely upset.
/r/seduction05/10/22 11:32 AM
77

Unless she added a silly emoji at the end, that response is about as sharp as they come. You clearly guessed wrong and she's nervous enough about it that she decided to shut that shit straight down instead of using one of the countless soft rejections. In other words, she wants you to take this one seriously, so take it seriously. A straightforward apology for crossing the line is in order.
/r/seduction05/10/22 11:20 AM
5

If all your cards are on the table and y'all want to go see a movie together, go see whatever movie y'all want to see. If you're going to a movie because you want to set a certain time or fulfill some stereotype, mehhhhh there are much better ways to have a date. You're literally being influenced by decades of Hollywood marketing.
/r/seduction05/10/22 04:55 AM
1

I specifically asked you about authenticity and you responded by adopting an asshole stance that you don't even hold? I'm even more confused than i was an hour ago. Anyways, i stand by my original point: If you don't believe in your views strongly enough to stand by them publicly, what's the point in holding them?
/r/seduction05/10/22 04:32 AM
5

It doesn't really matter. I usually ask for the date to establish intent and then ask for the number as a way of working out details.
/r/seduction05/10/22 04:14 AM
0

How's this for a standard: I'm not interested in anybody that is only interested in a fake version of me.
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:59 AM
1

In the grand scheme of things, a couple minutes of awkwardness is no big deal. Here is your real problem: I've known this girl for a year...I like her Ya gotta get wayyyyy faster about turning interest into action. They're usually pretty good at noticing your interest, even when you try to hide it, so it's way less awkward to just put it out there from the get-go.
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:57 AM
0

I don't understand. Why do their pictures make you want to hide yourself?
/r/seduction05/10/22 03:36 AM
1

They would react poorly because there's obvious condescension in your choice of words. You clearly think "fat chicks" are not worthy of you. They would be doubly appalled if you yourself are overweight, cuz arrogance and hypocrisy are an awful combination. But if you are fit and active and you're looking for someone who can keep up with you, nobody would blink twice at that.
/r/seduction05/10/22 02:57 AM
1

Did ya miss the lesson on authenticity? What's the point of being you if you can't be you publicly?
/r/seduction05/10/22 01:50 AM
7

Everyone has "preferences". These are personal opinions that don't cast any sort of judgment. You like blondes and I like brunettes. Neither is better, just different. "Standards" are a measure of quality. They're inherently judgmental. They're a good thing to have when you're talking about qualities that are objectively beneficial. Nobody is ever going to give you shit for saying, "I have standards; my partners need to be honest, law-abiding citizens." When you talk like someone's sexual histor…
/r/seduction05/10/22 01:22 AM
2

Sure, it's relevant dating info, especially if it's still fresh for her. Just don't let the date turn into a therapy session and remember that you're missing a lot of context, so take it all with a grain of salt.
/r/seduction04/10/22 03:41 PM
56

Who knows? People say all sorts of things. Are you asking because you're interested in her? If so, assume attraction, flirt, and ask her out. When you lead the interaction, you'll quickly find out whether she's interested or not. It's wayyyy less stressful than hyper-analyzing indicators of interest.
/r/seduction04/10/22 02:12 PM
11

Congrats on approaching!!! You're one of the few rookies on this sub that's actually putting in the work to grow! That pain you're feeling, think of it like the muscle soreness that you feel after working out. It sucks, but it's also an indication that you're on a growth path. You just have to make sure you don't push too hard too fast because burnout can cause major setbacks. Find a pace that you think you can maintain for the long run.
/r/seduction04/10/22 01:51 PM
1

You really are coming across as extremely shady. Holding back personal info is perfectly understandable, but holding back advice... who does that? Especially rookie advice. There's like zero chance that you're going to say anything that hasn't already been said a million times on this sub. The only thing I can figure is that you want the conversation private so that you can control the direction it goes, which indicates that your intentions are probably less than honorable. /u/raccoonon, Take ev…
/r/seduction04/10/22 01:44 PM
3

Communicate more. Forget about labels and generalities. Talk about specific feelings, behaviors, and expectations. Probably multiple conversations of significant depth. When you have a good feel for how he sees things, then decide whether you want what he's offering.
/r/seduction03/10/22 05:21 PM
8

They say a healthy relationship is split 60%/40% with both people trying to be the 60%. Friendships are the same way only less intense. If you're talking about someone who readily gives some of her energy to you, then of course you should be there for her! But "friendship" is 80%/20% to her benefit, you're spending a lot of energy on someone who doesn't feel the same way about you. Maybe that's ok occasionally if you're in the mood to do some charity work, but don't mistake that for genuine frie…
/r/seduction03/10/22 02:21 PM
1

Anyone who suspects they have a serious condition should consult a professional and should listen to their professional instead of redditors.* Everyone else needs to build some social courage if they ever want to get anywhere. >! * This goes without saying, doesn't it? The running forums don't warn their members against training on a broken leg.!<
/r/seduction03/10/22 12:34 PM
2

The core idea is to be honest about your intent. If you truly want to be her friend, offer her friendship. If you want to date her, offer her dates. If your feelings change at any time, communicate the change.
/r/seduction03/10/22 11:13 AM
5

Im not sure I understand the totality of your rant, but let's be clear on one thing: if you suspect/know that she's looking for a long-term partner and you hide the fact that you're not, that is a shitty thing to do. It has nothing to do with transactions. It's about being honest about what you want. All you have to do is speak your truth.
/r/seduction03/10/22 03:13 AM
3

It's not about pressure. It's about her dating (and fucking) as a way of testing chemistry with a potential spouse. If there's no potential, she sees no point in going through it all. It's not my style, but it's perfectly reasonable.
/r/seduction03/10/22 02:02 AM
1

Cool story, bro. 👌
/r/seduction02/10/22 10:44 PM
1

I'm sorry that your sense of self worth is so low. I hope you're able to climb out of your pit of despair. In the meantime, please refrain from pulling others down into it.
/r/seduction02/10/22 10:18 PM
2

Fuck that nonsense. The last thing either of them need is some random dude telling OP he's not good enough to go on a date. Get the fuck out of here.
/r/seduction02/10/22 09:43 PM
1

I don’t want to rush anything You're not in any danger of doing that. Ask her out. where would we go on a second date etc? One step at a time, Worry about that later. You can include her in the decision-making.
/r/seduction02/10/22 09:41 PM
0

So to recap, you think that being promiscuous is a sign that someone is bad at relationships. That's a negative stereotype and its one that we have a colloquial term for. If you want to find out if someone is any good at relationships, why don't you ask them about their relationships??? That'll be wayyyy more informative than your preferred stereotype.
/r/seduction02/10/22 08:59 PM
1

No, you make dating decisions based on restaurants when restaurants are important in your life. I'm older than her and I can't even imagine someone caring about restaurants enough to bail on someone, but i get that much of Western society sees things differently.
/r/seduction02/10/22 08:33 PM
1

We all have different flavors to our approach anxiety, but it's still the same animal. The only way past it is through it. Ya just gotta summon the courage to act in spite of your fears.
/r/seduction02/10/22 08:29 PM
1

You're focusing too much on ages. Her decision was based on spending habits, not age. I'm older than her and i still wouldn't have taken her on a dinner date.
/r/seduction02/10/22 08:23 PM
0

You were questioning the trustworthiness of "promiscuous" women with "high body counts", right? That is applying a negative stereotype to women based on their sexual history, aka slut shaming.
/r/seduction02/10/22 08:19 PM
1

If you're not afraid of rejection, why are you worried about what to say? The truth is that we're all afraid of what people think of us to some degree. It's just part of our social wiring and it's why we admire bold personalities. Say whatever you think is best, have fun, and learn from the experience. You got this!
/r/seduction02/10/22 08:04 PM
2

Should you ever message her again? No. Is she a gold digger? Nah, probably not. That's not exactly a "gold" level meal. She's probably just not that into you and she'd rather have someone that's on the same financial level as she is. Not terribly uncommon.
/r/seduction02/10/22 07:54 PM
4

C'mon man, drop the act. You can't come in here talking about promiscuous and body counts and then pretend you're not slut shaming. You sound like the guy that says, "I'm not racist, but [racist stereotype]." It's ok, we forgive you. Slut shaming is pervasive in this society and we're all guilty of it at times. Now, let's just agree on what the real red flag here is and next time, try to have the conversation without the societal baggage.
/r/seduction02/10/22 07:48 PM
44

Yeah you will. We all win some and we lose some. Anybody who tells you they shoot their shot every time is lying. The important thing is that you recognized that the pain of regret is worse than the pain of (possible) rejection. You'll use this lesson to improve and make this mistake less often. Don't try to be perfect. Just try to get better.
/r/seduction02/10/22 07:42 PM
5

Cheating is a red flag. Liking sex is not.
/r/seduction02/10/22 07:38 PM
13

I don't ever want anyone to leave my bed with regrets. If I get the impression that she's looking for more than i am, i put my cards on the table before she does something she might regret. If I'm genuinely open to something blossoming between us, there's no need for the disclaimer because worst case, i can honestly say "We tried, but it's just not working out."
/r/seduction02/10/22 06:33 PM
290

Friendzoning is something you do to yourself. She is either interested in you or she's not. If you shoot your shot, you quickly find out which one it is. But if you're afraid to make a move, you end up hanging around her, acting like a friend, but really you're trying to manipulate your way into some romance. You end up wasting a shitload of time and energy barking up the wrong tree.
/r/seduction02/10/22 06:27 PM
1

There's a mountain of toxicity in that, starting with "all women are [anything]". Also, fretting about your height won't get you anywhere good. Focus on the factors you can control.
/r/seduction02/10/22 06:19 PM
1

Not exploited, they were all good people and the affection was always real. It was just kinda hollow. The kind of match you'd expect in an agrarian society where practical considerations outweigh the nuances of compatibility.
/r/seduction02/10/22 03:25 PM
4

my social skills suck Improve your social skills. That's 95% of what this sub is about.
/r/seduction02/10/22 02:50 PM
1

i have some oddball characteristics that make a weird first impression, so people naturally warm up to me over time. Similar to you, I factored that into my dating approach for awhile. The problem is that it tends to attract women who are tired of dating selfish assholes and they just want to latch on to the first decent guy they come across. That's all well and good until I realized that they didn't actually like much about my personality or life goals. They just liked the stability I brought t…
/r/seduction02/10/22 02:48 PM
4

Read the wiki, practice, and post field reports to get feedback.
/r/seduction02/10/22 02:33 PM
2

I understand that you don't see a viable way forward. I hope that some day you do. In the meantime, I hope you'll be quieter and humbler.
/r/seduction02/10/22 04:45 AM
2

The best shot for virgins is to just live their life until something happens, if it ever does. This. Talking about your own experiences and your own frustrations is perfectly valid. Encouraging someone else to adopt your defeatist attitude is not.
/r/seduction02/10/22 04:32 AM
2

So... Not very good, right? Do whatever you want with your life, but please stop trying to talk rookies into following you into the pit of despair.
/r/seduction02/10/22 04:12 AM
1

How's your new plan working out for you?
/r/seduction02/10/22 04:06 AM
1

Cool theory, bro. How's it working for you? Mine's working pretty well for me. Best wishes to you!
/r/seduction02/10/22 03:45 AM
1

You're missing the forest for the trees. Aaron Judge whiffs a lot, but he connects enough to put his name in the record books and earn millions. That's success. You've talked yourself into never swinging. No whiffs, no hits, no success. It's guaranteed to be a losing strategy. Defeatist.
/r/seduction02/10/22 02:38 AM
1

Defeatist: demonstrating expectation or acceptance of failure.
/r/seduction02/10/22 02:23 AM
1

You're right that you need to be aware of social cues and adjust accordingly. "Calibration" is the term we usually use for that. The rest is just defeatist nonsense that's holding you back. I hope you can overcome those limiting beliefs.
/r/seduction02/10/22 01:53 AM
1

Best of luck to you and your hammer!
/r/seduction02/10/22 01:38 AM
2

if you think someone being in the same place at the same time as you is good enough reason for you to attempt to start a relationship with them One step at a time, chief. Being in the same room is a good enough reason to say hi and chat for a minute. Every so often, one of those chats goes really well and that's good enough reason to exchange contact info and get together again. Every so often, that goes well enough to fuck. Every so often the dating and fucking go well enough that it becomes an…
/r/seduction02/10/22 01:36 AM
0

Sounds like you've never built a client-base. It sounds stupid when you think about n=1, but when n=50, suddenly a few extra minutes on insta each week adds a nice chunk to your bottom line.
/r/seduction02/10/22 01:28 AM
3

Personally I hate all of these except for meeting through friends since it's the only one that is actually organic. What does "organic" even mean? It "just happens"??? That's Hollywood nonsense, man. Someone has to say hi first... Someone has to suggest exchanging contact info... Someone has to invite the other on a date... Someone has to initiate some beyond-friendly touching... Expecting the other person to make all of those moves doesn't somehow make it a "pure" or "organic" thing. It just me…
/r/seduction02/10/22 01:13 AM
2

What time is she wasting besides clicking Accept and throwing him an occasional Like when she boredom scrolls? She works for tips, brah. Orbiters are money in the bank.
/r/seduction02/10/22 01:04 AM
2

Bartenders/waitresses/etc.. these women are literally in the business of making you feel good about yourself while you spend money. She'll probably string him along as a flirty friend so that he keeps coming back and spending his beer money at her bar. Sure, your buddy might as well shoot his shot, but realistically, he'll need to build his dating life with women who aren't on the clock.
/r/seduction01/10/22 11:27 PM
1

If you're distancing yourself because you want her to feel the chill and come crawling back to you, that's a form of passive aggression. It's rather childish and it won't do anything good for you. If you're distancing yourself because you want to reduce your connection with someone, that's a perfectly healthy thing to do. As for this girl... Who is she to you? Who are you to her? If this some oneitis crush of yours, the right answer is to develop a healthy dating life so you're not pouring so mu…
/r/seduction01/10/22 08:04 PM
2

Everybody loves attention. Stop trying to find some sort of gender answer. The problem is that you're doing the penpal thing thinking that it will lead to dates. It won't. If you want a penpal, be a penpal. If you want a date, ask for a date. If she says no, move on with your life. Pretending to be her friend in the hopes that she'll eventually change her mind... is just a waste of everybody's time.
/r/seduction01/10/22 05:28 PM
5

They're everywhere, man. And yes, you can go to bars and clubs alone. First and foremost, you gotta stop making excuses.
/r/seduction01/10/22 04:24 PM
12

Yes, it's called a "cold approach". It usually doesn't work out, but it's really the only way to meet a lot of women offline. It's a good skill to build. Why do you have a crush on someone you've never met? This is a sign that you're not being active enough. Sitting back and fantasizing while you wait for a miracle is not an effective strategy. If you want to build a healthy dating life, you have to put yourself out there a lot so that you're meeting a lot women and choosing one based on how you…
/r/seduction01/10/22 03:37 PM
8

People are people, man. Theres a mix of everything in any group. Any time you find yourself looking down on a large group of people, the problem is probably with you, not them.
/r/seduction01/10/22 02:01 PM
0

Right. And why do we care about attraction? Because we want consensual action, right? We want her to be excited to get with us. This isn't /r/DateRape/ after all. Asking for consent is how we get where we want to go without accidentally hurting anyone along the way.
/r/seduction30/09/22 11:40 PM
3

Eye contact and distance are two key indicators. If she's spending a lot of time close to you and holding a lot of eye contact, she's probably very interested in whatever you're up to. Use that to develop a good guess and if you think she's game, you can then confidently state, "I think we should dance/kiss/fuck." This shows that you're capable of reading the situation and that you care about her safety/consent. Win/win The 90/10 rule is good too. You close most of the distance and she demonstra…
/r/seduction30/09/22 09:46 PM
1

No he's not. If you're going to run around "ravaging" women on the dance floor, you better be a billionaire movie star. There's a lot of good advice in this thread from guys who know the right balance. Don't get distracted the guys spewing bro-science.
/r/seduction30/09/22 09:29 PM
1

If you look around, you'll see that many guys have described easy ways to ask for consent and check on her comfort without making it weird. OP was right to take the women's concerns to heart; he was just doing it awkwardly.
/r/seduction30/09/22 09:26 PM
7

They pretend to to be these well adjusted, hi-functioning adults, but often, behind the stage their lives are an utter shitfest. That's true for pretty much everybody of any gender. That's why dating should be a gradual, peel-the-onion sorry of thing.
/r/seduction29/09/22 11:04 PM
1

There are many, many things you might be missing in this tiny little experiment of yours. At very least, you should be comparing dates, not matches. You don't even know how many of those matches are real people, let alone willing to meet up with you.
/r/seduction29/09/22 02:26 PM
6

This sub has always been filled with guys whining about the quality of the sub and there's always been plenty of guys arrogantly looking down on other guys. Misogyny isn't new either.
/r/seduction27/09/22 04:07 PM
43

Pass it on to tomorrow's batch of rookies. This used to be standard teaching on this sub, but people lost sight if it. Y'all can't expect old farts like me to keep reintroducing it forever.
/r/seduction27/09/22 11:04 AM
1

That's about what I expected you to say. Hit me up when you're ready to take a serious look in the mirror. Until then, best wishes on your journey!
/r/seduction27/09/22 10:58 AM
2

Did you eat today? Not everyone did. Your phone is working? Not everyone's is. Did the sun shine on you today? Doesn't always. Are you living in a peaceful region of the world? Too many aren't. There many, many things you can be grateful for, if you take the time to look for the positive
/r/seduction27/09/22 10:55 AM
4

I'm pretty sure you're not approaching this conversation with an open mind, so I have no interest in continuing it. I'm going to give you a chance to change my mind, though. If you are truly interested in getting outside feedback, take a few minutes to think about how I might respond to the numbers you presented. Are they verifiable from an unbiased source? Would they look different if we swapped genders? Do they even address the question at hand? Make a genuine attempt to play devil's advocate.…
/r/seduction27/09/22 04:48 AM
34

Wisdom that would be lost to the ages, if it weren't for Google. Seek and you shall find, my friend.
/r/seduction27/09/22 04:23 AM
2

Life is not that one dimensional. Your status will always be relative to what the viewer prioritizes. You might be filthy rich and have the juices of a thousand playmates dripping off your dick, but if I prioritize selflessness, your hedonic accomplishments mean nothing to me. So, before you set off on a path, make sure it's a path that meshes with your values.
/r/seduction27/09/22 03:49 AM
112

Dicarlo escalation ladder
/r/seduction27/09/22 03:46 AM
5

Society changes, but the math doesn't. Society is still pretty evenly split between male and female and they still pretty evenly want each other. The outcome you want is available to you, if you want to go after it.
/r/seduction27/09/22 03:35 AM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/comments/2l8psi/conversational_threading_the_basics_of_building/
/r/seduction27/09/22 03:32 AM
13

Getting laid and having a happy love life is wayyyyy easier than becoming a professional athlete. The vast, vast majority of people succeed in getting laid. Literally every single one of your ancestors did. But if you want to make excuses and talk yourself out of it, that's on you, man. Nobody else cares if you decide to live a lonely life.
/r/seduction27/09/22 03:18 AM
5

"Hard to get" isn't really a thing. If she ain't tryin to meet in the middle on things, quit wasting your time.
/r/seduction27/09/22 02:49 AM
6

Yes, gratitude is all about being thankful for the things that could be worse. You play the game because you want to play the game. Nobody is making you. You are the one that chose to start this conversation.
/r/seduction27/09/22 02:15 AM
20

Bitterness is the opposite of gratitude. To fight it, you gotta embrace the things your thankful for and strive to see life in a more positive light. You wouldn't be here and you wouldn't be so frustrated if dating wasn't important to you, so don't entertain those "it isn't worth it" thoughts. That's just an ego defense mechanism speaking. It is worth it and you will succeed... if you focus your energy in the right direction.
/r/seduction27/09/22 02:05 AM
16

"threading" is an important concept. You can talk about the stupidest things in the world as long you dont cling to it forever. If you get good at finding and switching to new threads, you'll never run out of things to talk about. Pro-tip: motivations and emotions are way more interesting to discuss than plot points and biographies.
/r/seduction26/09/22 10:24 PM
1

You're welcome! Try to apply this approach to everything you're doing. You're never making her do anything. You're inviting her to stop and chat with you. You're inviting her to trade contact info. You're inviting her to go out with you. You're inviting her to kiss. You're inviting her to get the life fucked out of her. If she's not interested, no biggie, easy for her to decline and go on with her day.
/r/seduction26/09/22 02:06 PM
0

Rejection is wayyyyy harder when you're hungry for approval. When you're in a place where you're comfortable with yourself and you're routinely walking away from women because you can tell that the compatibility isn't there, it's much much easier to not take every little thing personally. Practice. After you've been through it a lot of times, you start to realize that this woman's opinion is not the end of the line. Other women will have other opinions.
/r/seduction26/09/22 03:43 AM
6

Ok, so next time you do all that and then you just stop walking a couple steps before she passes by. That's it. You're not stopping her or otherwise interrupting her day. You're just saying hello and then standing still. Completely harmless, right? Totally within your control, right? Work through your AA until you can consistently do that.
/r/seduction26/09/22 01:37 AM
2

So when you're walking down the street and fine-ass woman is walking towards you, you can confidently look her in the eye, smile, and say hello?
/r/seduction26/09/22 01:15 AM
2

My questions were all about before the interaction.
/r/seduction26/09/22 12:27 AM
35

You went out and tried, congratulations! Maybe you'll have better luck developing some forward momentum if you break the problem down into smaller chunks. How are you at the precursors to an approach? Can you make and hold eye contact with a passerby? Can you smile at them? Maybe even say hi as you go by?
/r/seduction26/09/22 12:04 AM
0

So... you're mad that she didn't accept your invitation? I'm sure you understand that she has the right to decline, so what is it you're really mad about? Is this your overall frustration speaking? I'm sure you can see how blaming her for that isn't going to lead anywhere good.
/r/seduction25/09/22 05:30 PM
1

We all have things to work on. Best wishes on your journey!
/r/seduction25/09/22 11:01 AM
4

Best wishes, mate. I hope the rest of your weekend goes well.
/r/seduction25/09/22 10:34 AM
6

I guarantee you, nobody knows what your point is.
/r/seduction25/09/22 10:18 AM
1

That's a lot of caps and exclamations for someone who claims to be stoic. Regardless, my only point was that the condescending attitude isn't doing anything good for your life.
/r/seduction25/09/22 10:15 AM
1

A woman of childbearing age who likes casual sex voices concerns about the laws surrounding unwanted pregnancies and you write that off as "virtue signaling"? You really don't see how that could be an issue that's truly relevant to her?
/r/seduction25/09/22 09:48 AM
4

If you're part of the new everything-is-a-conspiracy wing of the Republican party, yeah, that's bad for all aspects of your social life. It's hard to be around someone who lives in a complete delusion. To your larger point, nobody is going to change their entire worldview just to get a little boost in their dating life.
/r/seduction25/09/22 09:42 AM
3

Stop thinking in terms of "leagues". It's never that simple and nobody is ever going to be a "sure thing". You just have to learn not to take it personally and keep putting yourself back out there. Congrats on the approach, by the way! Now go do another!
/r/seduction24/09/22 08:24 PM
1

You shouldn't think about relationship-length in terms of "loyalty". If a relationship isn't working, would you really want your partner to stay in it purely out of loyalty? Wouldn't you both be better off if you went your separate ways and found compatible partners?
/r/seduction24/09/22 02:18 PM
7

Flirting, light-hearted conversation. Eye contact. Kino escalation. But also, you have to understand that you can't make people care about you. Most won't, no matter what you do. It's a lot like fishing: no matter how good your lure is, some fish will like it and some fish won't.
/r/seduction24/09/22 02:13 PM
10

In the getting-to-know-you phase (aka "comfort" phase), you're absolutely right that this kind of question is unavoidable. It's not boring, though, because in this phase you're both excited to learn about each other. That's the key... you have to get her excited first (aka the "attraction" phase). She has to care that you exist before she'll want to swap faves and biographies with you.
/r/seduction24/09/22 12:03 PM
5

80% of it is the exact same kind of small talk you'd make with anyone else. Are you good at meeting me people and making friends?
/r/seduction24/09/22 03:14 AM
2

How are you at flirting?
/r/seduction23/09/22 07:48 PM
1

So you want women who are with you because you're fun to be around? Are you fun to be around?
/r/seduction23/09/22 07:26 PM
3

It completely turned my life around. Most graduates don't stick around, though, so yeah, the sub is dominated by rookies. P.S. Pay no attention to the haters. They seem to think it's possible to go from being a loner to being socially competent without ever making mistakes. Apparently they've forgotten how awkward they were in their teens.
/r/seduction22/09/22 07:28 PM
2

Did I screw up by turning her down today To the extent that you didn't want to fuck for your own reasons, good on you, mate. Nobody should ever be pressured into sex, regardless of gender. To the extent that you declined due to societal baggage about sex on a first date, well, maybe you want to get better at ignoring that shit. How can I explain this to her tomorrow. You don't have to explain shit. "No" is a complete sentence. If you want her to understand that it was a temporary decision, you c…
/r/seduction21/09/22 10:55 PM
7

This guy is an average guy Exactly. Average guys get laid all the time. That's literally why our species has taken over the world. Sex is available to pretty much everybody. You just have to develop some basic social skills and work through your anxieties.
/r/seduction21/09/22 02:32 PM
2

People say it's important, but they're confusing the cause and effect. Humor is all about surprising your audience. To do that, you have to understand how they think so well that you can leap a step or two ahead of them. They also have to be comfortable enough to relax and enjoy the rollercoaster ride you're trying to take them on. They're not going to laugh if they don't like being around you. In other words, humor is a good indicator because it requires skills that are also good for all social…
/r/seduction20/09/22 08:52 PM
9

Like most rules here, it's an oversimplification intended to help rookies avoid common mistakes. When you don't have much of a dating life, text chats can give the illusion that you're getting somewhere while completely avoiding the emotionally risky things like eye contact and physical escalation. It's usually fool's gold... The rookie ends up becoming very emotionally invested while the woman starts thinking of him as just a friend or loses interest completely. It doesn't end well. The full le…
/r/seduction20/09/22 06:33 PM
3

Same as ever: Flirt and escalate Kino. If you're not sure how to do that, read the wiki and understand that nerves and awkwardness are normal parts of the learning process.
/r/seduction20/09/22 04:04 PM
5

You take high quality pictures that convey the parts of your life that are important to your target partner. You write 20-40 words about your life that conveys parts of your life that are important to your target partner. After matching, you lead the kind of conversation that appeals to your target partner.
/r/seduction20/09/22 01:59 PM
2

Yes, words can be very impactful. Pictures convince her to stop and read your profile. Profile convinces her to message you. Conversation convinces her to meet up with you. Date convinces her to fuck you. If you do a shit job at any of those stages, it's gonna be a major drag on your results.
/r/seduction20/09/22 01:53 PM
2

Explain to me how you can make a girl feel emotions from a Tinder profile. You don't think the written word can spark emotions? Seriously???
/r/seduction20/09/22 12:59 PM
14

Indian men have been getting laid for thousands of years. That's why they exist today. Likewise for bald guys, short guys, pencil dicks... Hell, even literal crackheads get laid on the regular. That's because dating isn't about mass market appeal. It doesn't matter what "most" women want. Dating is about filtering and finding the ones who do want what you're offering.
/r/seduction20/09/22 12:56 PM
1

My reasons were personal and not relevant to this conversation.
/r/seduction19/09/22 04:05 PM
1

In my adult life, I've had entire relationships that didn't include sex. My choice, they respected it. You don't have to have sex, if you really don't want to. You do have to show some level of physicality, though. If ya ain't touching her at all, you're nothing more than a friend. If all you want is friends, join a book club or something.
/r/seduction19/09/22 12:01 PM
2

Makes aren't generally competing against females. Their tail feathers are trying to outshine the tail feather of other males. The entire evolutionary history of the species is a game of visual one-upmanship for a particular type of target mate. Different targets require different bait, but the common theme is visual signaling. It's the exact same reason women use push-up bras, wear high-heels, and accentuate their cheekbones.
/r/seduction19/09/22 03:02 AM
2

Is that really the definition? I mean... By that definition, do peacocks even peacock? They all have the same feathers, same mating rituals... They must just be conformists. My understanding of the word is that it has nothing to do with conformity. It's just about using appearances to make yourself very noticeable to your target audience.
/r/seduction19/09/22 12:26 AM
2

Peacocking is dressing to get noticed by your target audience. Want edgy girls? Wear edgy shit. Want a socialite? Wear that designer shit. Want a country girl? Belt buckle and boots. The concept is timeless. You just have to do it in a way that's congruent with your goals and lifestyle.
/r/seduction18/09/22 01:49 PM
8

There's nothing "abandoned" about dressing for effect. Buying a Rolex, for example, has nothing to do with telling time. Its purpose is to attract attention and send messages.
/r/seduction17/09/22 05:54 AM
1

Exactly my point. Putting your arm around someone is sometimes welcome and sometimes not. The toxicity comes from whether you're accurately gauging her consent or blindly acting with entitlement. The OP quote is specifically talking about rejected advances, which is the very definition of nonconsensual. That's not ok.
/r/seduction12/09/22 05:29 PM
0

There's nothing particularly casual about draping your arm around someone. I can't remember the last time someone randomly did that to me, but i can assure you it was someone who knew me very well. I'm a good size dude and i can defend myself well enough, but I'd damn sure feel uncomfortable if a stranger tried that. Eye contact and handshakes are literally consensual acts where two people meet in the middle. Not at all comparable to what OP is referring to. As for asking for consent being weird…
/r/seduction10/09/22 03:04 PM
9

Sisyphus is about pointless work. This is about building the life you want. What could possibly be a better use of your time?
/r/seduction10/09/22 11:53 AM
2

Imagine a guy 50 lbs bigger than you walking up, heavy eye contact, smirks, and puts his arm around your waist. Still cool with it?
/r/seduction10/09/22 04:29 AM
6

He's correct. It will work a certain percentage of the time. Also, it's completely unethical to touch someone who doesn't want to be touched. If you're going to assert control over someone else's body, you damn sure better be right that they're cool with it. He's not concerned about that, which means he's leaving a trail of scared/hurt/angry women behind him. Not cool.
/r/seduction10/09/22 03:24 AM
208

I never reached any of these "milestones" that so many people have That's life, man. There's a whole shitload of things that you're not going to get around to doing before you die, let alone by some arbitrary age. You'll drive yourself crazy focusing on comparing yourself to some vague notion of what "everybody" does. Instead, focus on where you are now and where you want to go next. Every time you make progress towards those goals, pat yourself on the back and then get back to work.
/r/seduction10/09/22 02:03 AM
2

Is because of the arm candy or is it because your improved social skills make you more likeable overall? I would wager it's the later. These skills can easily lead to improvements in all aspects of your life. Enjoy the rewards!
/r/seduction09/09/22 06:25 PM
1

...if i have something funny or important to say. Nobody lives up to a standard like that. Most people don't even try. We all say a thousand completely forgettable things every week. Give yourself that freedom and you'll become a more engaging person very quickly.
/r/seduction09/09/22 04:41 AM
3

I am terrified of the rejection. This is the cause of and solution to all of your problems. You have to learn how to take social chances, to be nervous about how others will react to you and act anyways. There are many, many different ways that you can build this muscle, but they all boil down to acting bravely.
/r/seduction07/09/22 01:52 PM
14

I wonder what those other guys have that's so attractive... 🤔 Could it be that they have better social skills and self-esteem than you do? Those seem like good qualities to have. You should work on developing them (and i bet your results would improve greatly).
/r/seduction06/09/22 02:08 AM
14

This is the problem with deception. It might get you some short term results, but you'll quickly turn into a bad sitcom if you actually try to live like this long-term. You'll be much, much better off if you learn to accept yourself as the 5'8" man. There are literally millions of happy 5'8" men in this world. If you work on your insecurity, you could be one of them.
/r/seduction05/09/22 03:22 AM
1

In most contexts, i wouldn't dream of it. I'll be right there with you at the next BLM march. In this context, I'll point to the millions of black babies being born every year and confidently state that black men are finding ways to get laid. I'll point to your very existence and say that your father and his father and his father and so on and so back to the beginning of humanity... all found ways to get laid. And most importantly, my friend, I'll point to the decade I've spent in this sub liste…
/r/seduction31/08/22 01:54 PM
1

The problem is "nerdy" -- aka socially incompetent -- not your skin color.
/r/seduction31/08/22 04:27 AM
1

You might like your clothes, your accessories, and your haircut, but there's something about your look that's incongruent with your personality. Are posing all serious when you're really lighthearted? Are you in a cliche setting when you could be in a setting that would better show what you're about? Are you posting all still photos when your personality would be better captured by a short video clip? Figure out what women are seeing when they meet the real you and then adjust your profile to ma…
/r/seduction31/08/22 04:23 AM
1

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder
/r/seduction30/08/22 11:29 PM
3

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder is excellent as a general guideline. Also, the touch barrier should be broken loooooong before anyone is getting tired.
/r/seduction30/08/22 02:28 AM
47

It's like hanging out with a new friend plus the added excitement of wanting to touch each other.
/r/seduction29/08/22 03:13 PM
2

Yes, if you base your decisions on a single factor, you will have better luck in places that emphasize that factor. Also, having a healthy love life takes wayyyyy more than any one factor. Don't lose sight of the big picture.
/r/seduction28/08/22 02:18 PM
6

Usually when the word "using" gets thrown around, it's because there was some sort of misunderstanding about the situation. Eventually the misplaced expectations burst, leaving someone with hurt feelings. The most common example of this is a guy acting all boyfriend-y saying sweet things, being attentive, yada yada yada. She starts to think it's headed towards an exclusive relationship... sex ensues... and then he stops being such a sweet guy, maybe even disappears altogether. He basically trick…
/r/seduction28/08/22 03:13 AM
5

The drivers for good conversation are the same as good books and movies: characters, emotions, and motivations. Dig beneath the surface of the story's plot and talk about how the characters feel and why they're doing what they're doing. If it's her story, target your responses and questions in that direction. When it comes time to segue into a different conversation, segue based on emotion instead of plot. Her nostalgic story about her grandma reminds you of a nostalgic story about baseball. Her…
/r/seduction25/08/22 08:04 PM
3

Read the wiki and routinely create opportunities for practice. Also, embrace the idea that this is a long-term process. It'll take years of diligently pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in order to develop the social skills that you want. The pace will be very frustrating at times, but as you've learned over the past decade, the years will pass either way, so you might as well spend them building the life that you want. Best wishes on your journey!!
/r/seduction24/08/22 12:13 PM
2

Poly isn't a competition, man. Your view isn't very healthy for monogamy either. If you think you can kick back and coast after the wedding, it's gonna be a shitty marriage for both of you.
/r/seduction23/08/22 01:07 PM
14

"you wanna have sex go out sometime?" Sex happens on dates. Ask for dates. Then flirt and escalate Kino.
/r/seduction23/08/22 10:58 AM
4

Define "better". Is she actually the kind of person you want to focus your dating life on? Personally, I'd rather spend my life with a well-balanced chubby girl than an unhinged model. 🤷‍♂️ The unhinged model can be a lot of fun for a night or two, but she definitely doesn't count as "better". To me, "better" is beautiful and well-balanced.
/r/seduction23/08/22 03:45 AM
30

You learned that sensory pleasures are fleeting. Important lesson. You learned that external validation is fleeting. Important lesson. Now... how can you apply those lessons to create a more fulfilling dating life?
/r/seduction23/08/22 03:30 AM
3

It tells that she figured out the same thing that most adults figure out: sex is fun. Stop judging women for liking sex. This is the 21st century.
/r/seduction22/08/22 12:28 PM
10

If human interaction seems easy to you, it's because you're already good at it. The rookies here are not. They can't just "read body language". Most of them can't even consistently interpret words. In order to get to a place of social competence, they will have to face their deepest fears and put their fragile sense of self on the line countless times. They are all perfectly capable of climbing that mountain and they all hold the keys to their own success, but that doesn't make it easy. For most…
/r/seduction22/08/22 04:00 AM
12

Yes it works, if you do it right. Don't dress in counter-culture fashion if you live a mainstream life. Don't wear a Buccaneers jersey if you hate football. Don't flash money if you're looking for frugal woman. Stand out in a way that's congruent with your lifestyle.
/r/seduction21/08/22 05:58 PM
1

The bar for "emotional connection" is way lower than you're imagining Stop thinking that "All women are ______". There are huge variations in how women think and act and desire. Even a particular woman is going to vary significantly during different phases of her life. In a big city, it's entirely possible to fuck a hundred women a year just by picking up drunks at 2 am. There's far more to seduction than lay counts. Choose your role models based on HOW they approach dating and the degree to whi…
/r/seduction20/08/22 05:40 PM
17

You're not trying to be funny. You're brushing off the dick-ish question without getting butthurt or defensive. It's just a playful way to say, "I'm not here to beg. If you don't already see that I'm worth meeting, you should save us both some time and GTFO."
/r/seduction19/08/22 03:36 PM
8

Re-read the sub's heading, man. There's more to this than one night stands. Seduction, Self-Improvement and Pick-up Help with dating, with a focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship. Learn how to connect with the ones you're trying to get with!
/r/seduction18/08/22 12:48 PM
1

Believe me, i understand. I was once a 25 year old loner. Now I'm a middle aged man that's literally a leader in my community. I'm very grateful to my younger self for putting in the work to turn things around. It was a long, slow process, but it was soooo worth it.
/r/seduction18/08/22 12:12 PM
1

think it is too late to learn You still have FIFTY years left on this rock. With that much time, you could learn anything you want. What do you want to learn?
/r/seduction18/08/22 02:23 AM
21

Why are you intent on paying for her? If you understand the psychology behind that, you'll understand why some women refuse. Regardless, the goal of a date is to have fun together. If y'all enjoy your time together, there will be a second date. It's really that simple.
/r/seduction15/08/22 12:25 PM
1

It's completely unnecessary, but as far as crutches go, it's not a bad one. Just don't spend more than a few dollars. Less is more. The important thing here is that you drop the "friends" act and demonstrate that you're interested in more by asking her out on a date. Make sure you do that.
/r/seduction15/08/22 04:54 AM
3

There's psychological bias towards noticing and remembering bad examples of a thing. When they see a dude fail at using some technique, they go "Ewww, a douchey pua!" and when they see a good approach, they just think "wow, he's charming!" without ever realizing that he learned to be charming. Thus, our community never gets credit for our successes. It sucks, but you can't let such things keep you from doing good work.
/r/seduction14/08/22 09:54 PM
5

It's all relative when you're getting feedback from people who have been drinking. If you really want to understand the situation, go to the party a few hours late and then don't drink. You'll quickly gain a new perspective on how alcohol affects everybody.
/r/seduction14/08/22 03:38 PM
7

You could... lots of good women go out for a drink occasionally. They're not going to be interested in the guy that's wasted, though.
/r/seduction14/08/22 12:40 PM
37

Alcohol lowers inhibition, making you more confident and willing to take risks. That can be helpful to a guy who is ordinarily paralyzed by approach anxiety. It also makes you worse at pretty much everything, including observations. That means you don't even realize how sloppy you get. Your drunk self is only really impressive to people who are also fucked up. In the long run, most people outgrow binge drinking so you'll need to learn how to approach sober if you ever want a partner who has her …
/r/seduction14/08/22 11:14 AM
2

You seem to be focusing on the scalp change, but i would bet that most of the women are responding to the emotional change. You used to be secure and confident. That's hot. Now you're scared and ashamed. Not sexy. Do the inner work to become comfortable with your useless little follicles. The body you have is perfectly wonderful, perfectly human. When you get back to a place where you can enjoy your body, I'm sure you'll find that the women around you start to enjoy it to.
/r/seduction13/08/22 03:47 AM
1

Move wherever you want, man, but I promise you... a U-Haul isn't the answer to your problems. Good game works anywhere and approach anxiety will follow you everywhere.
/r/seduction13/08/22 01:14 AM
3

There are frustrated dudes in every town complaining about how hard dating is there. And yet there are dudes getting laid in every town on earth. Don't waste your energy on this kind of shit. Success is an option for you, no matter where you are, no matter what your background.
/r/seduction13/08/22 01:00 AM
1

How could it be? In all likelihood, you're not even halfway through your lifespan yet. A person can make jaw-dropping changes in a decade and you still haveseveral of them to work with.
/r/seduction11/08/22 09:44 AM
2

All of human activity can be boiled down to two things: "fun" and "helpful". If you ain't bringin either, you're gonna have a bad time.
/r/seduction11/08/22 03:25 AM
2

Cool story, bro. Also, I'm really fucking old and most of my lifetime lays have come online in recent years. Maybe there are things that you can do to improve your results.
/r/seduction11/08/22 03:22 AM
2

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your skills improve someday!
/r/seduction10/08/22 10:49 AM
3

Usually. Are you trying to use that to trick her into fucking you?
/r/seduction10/08/22 06:04 AM
2

Think about all of the characteristics that your mom would encourage you to have: thoughtful, generous, caring, responsive... Those are all great things, if you want a relationship. If you just want to fuck, they're all confusing and counter-productive.
/r/seduction10/08/22 05:05 AM
3

The same way you'd approach any other woman. His point is that there's nothing magical about this group that's going to change your results on this trip. Whatever your sticking point is at home, will also be your sticking point in Peru. You should focus on practicing and building your skills instead of trying to catch lightning in a bottle on this trip. Think big picture.
/r/seduction10/08/22 03:56 AM
41

The standard advice is, "If you don't want a girlfriend, don't act like a boyfriend." I'm a fan of open communication, though, so i don't like to rely entirely on subtext like that. The problem with being blunt right away is that it's usually comes across as a premature and jarring decision. The world is FULL of people that "weren't looking for a relationship" when they started their relationship. Are you already sure that you won't ever want a relationship with her? You've completely ruled her …
/r/seduction09/08/22 01:54 PM
1

This might help help clear up your confusion: I believe there's far more to a person than their sexual history. 1, 5, 25, or 100... Whatever it is, that won't be a meaningful factor for me.
/r/seduction08/08/22 08:14 PM
2

It doesn't matter for women either. The world is a smorgasbord of single people of every gender and every age. Worrying about which grass is greener is an extremely pointless exercise. Eat the grass you can reach.
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:35 AM
3

Indeed. Doesn't have anything to do with any age theories, though. Nobody in this sub is anywhere near their prime. We're all here because we're late bloomers that still have a lot to learn. His prime will come a decade after he dedicates himself to growing his social skills.
/r/seduction08/08/22 03:23 AM
2

Cool story. Might even have some truth to it. What are you going to do with those assumptions? Is it actionable in some way or are you just encouraging OP to wallow in regret when he could be out dating the many wonderfully available women in his age group?
/r/seduction08/08/22 03:18 AM
1

Cool story, bro. I hope you're able to work through that chip on your shoulder.
/r/seduction08/08/22 03:04 AM
5

There are easy answers to that question, but i expect you'll just give me more excuses. I'm old... I've already had this conversation a hundred times. So instead I'll just ask you this question: in the past year, how many times have you had a woman that was ready to fuck you but then it fell apart at the last minute because of logistical problems? If the answer is less than a dozen, you have bigger problems than logistics. Work on those.
/r/seduction07/08/22 11:41 PM
4

Yes. You don't need your own place to get laid.
/r/seduction07/08/22 10:54 PM
6

There's no such thing as "prime". Maybe there was 60 years ago, but with divorces and whatnot, these days there's no shortage of women at any age.
/r/seduction07/08/22 10:52 PM
12

You have three options: Hop in your time machine and change your past Find peace with your past Ruin your present/future by agonizing over your past P.S. The assumptions you're making are untrue. Your 40 year-old self will be very grateful if you stop holding yourself back.
/r/seduction07/08/22 10:49 PM
2

why would you want your future wife having more bodies? Same reason I want her to get an education, build a social circle, start a career, and anything else that helps her develop as a person. I don't want a life partner that put a huge part of her life on hold due to some archaic myth about "purity". I want a partner that lives.
/r/seduction07/08/22 10:25 PM
0

So they're slut shaming out of bitterness? That doesn't sound like a very healthy place to be. I hope their self-interest leads them to seek a kinder, more peaceful mindset.
/r/seduction07/08/22 05:12 PM
5

Because I like women and i want them to be happy. Also, because I like sex and slut-shaming leads to less sex.
/r/seduction07/08/22 04:39 PM
13

Trashy? So you're looking down on her for acknowledging something that we all know is true: sex is fun. Instead, you think a good woman should hide that part of herself. The reverse is NOT true. It is generally expected that men are thinking and talking about sex frequently and that's perfectly normal. These are double standards that you shouldn't reinforce. They need to go away.
/r/seduction07/08/22 10:34 AM
3

Yup, it's a dumb word, but it's the critical concept OP was looking for. Gotta start that physical connection if you ever want to be more than friends.
/r/seduction05/08/22 10:32 PM
25

Unpopular opinion: Generalizations about women usually say more about the speaker than the women. Also, this sub has completely lost sight of Kino Escalation. Y'all need to read some DiCarlo.
/r/seduction05/08/22 08:32 PM
9

You're probably big enough to fight off an attack, so you're not really in danger You're in control of the vehicle, which also eliminates a lot of potential danger They're generally better at reading emotions, so much less likely to guess wrong about your level of interest. Every now and then, they are wrong to hit on you. But none of that really matters. Your focus should be on becoming your best self, which includes becoming more aware of the impact you have on the people around you.
/r/seduction02/08/22 02:02 AM
18

You want to hit on women who are alone and captive in a stranger's car? Can't you see how that will very understandably freak some of them out? I'm assuming that you're well-meaning and not actually going to rape anybody, but that's much easier for me to say from a thousand miles away. The women in your car, on the other hand, are in a much more precarious position. They're hiring you to do a job. Do the job and let them go on with their day. Use your social skills to approach women who aren't i…
/r/seduction02/08/22 01:16 AM
2

As soon as I decide that I don't see exclusivity as a possibility, i put that out there. Hell, I'll even bring it back up repeatedly if I think she's lying to herself about the situation. I ain't tryin to trick anybody. If they want what I'm offering, great. If not, that's cool too. Wish em well and move on.
/r/seduction01/08/22 03:49 PM
9

I’m willing to face my fears Yup, that's what it's all about! Keep working that muscle as often as possible in as many facets of your life as possible. All things are possible when you're willing to face your fears!
/r/seduction31/07/22 10:09 PM
24

Yup, a whole lotta dudes use "high standards" as an excuse to stay on the sidelines. It's especially crazy to see guys with minimal dating experience pretending to know what they're looking for in a woman. It's something you can mostly only learn through trial and error.
/r/seduction31/07/22 04:26 PM
1

It's a marathon, not a sprint. Patience and persistence will get the job done.
/r/seduction31/07/22 04:19 PM
8

Easily the world's most over-hyped disease. You probably already have it and don't even realize it. Your doc won't even test you for it unless you demand it.
/r/seduction30/07/22 11:40 AM
4

Everything you said! 🙌 Also, OP, the skills you've learned over the past year are all gonna help you get that emotional connection that you're now craving. Sex gets all the headlines, but emotions and relationships require seduction too! It's ALL part of the lifestyle and it is ALL now possible for you! Congrats on the progress, keep up the good work!
/r/seduction30/07/22 11:36 AM
7

If the future of your dating life hinges on a chance meeting on a cruise ship, you're gonna have a bad time. You'd be much better off learning how to meet women in your daily life.
/r/seduction28/07/22 01:41 PM
3

It's the same as anywhere else: maybe you'll be lucky to come across a woman who takes the risks for you, but you'll have much better results if you take the initiative to approach, flirt, and escalate. Are you comfortable doing that in your daily life? Or are you hoping that the cruise will magically change the social dynamics?
/r/seduction28/07/22 01:37 PM
1

Stop masturbating in places where you hope someone will accidentally see you. It is a crime to include someone in your sex acts without their consent. Stick around, read the wiki, and learn how to build a healthy dating life instead of fantasizing about how someday you might trick someone into looking at you sexually.
/r/seduction28/07/22 11:07 AM
3

That sounds like a good defense on the internet, but you really need to understand that it wouldn't fly in a court of law. Pressuring a drunk person into a sex act is rape in any modern jurisdiction. You even said yourself that you "made her" do it, which a prosecutor would easily frame as a confession that you knew that she didn't want to do. Please take some time learn about the nuances of consent and focus your energy on women that want to have sex with you.
/r/seduction25/07/22 12:52 PM
3

I can't bring home people late into the night Do you have people that want to come with you late into the night? If not, your living situation isn't what's holding you back. The last-minute logistics are irrelevant until the rest of your game is on point. First things first.
/r/seduction18/07/22 08:57 PM
1

Homophobe probably wasn't the right word, but she's definitely an idiot who sees the world through stereotypes. Style has NOTHING to do with sexuality. You shouldn't concern yourself with the opinions of people who think otherwise.
/r/seduction09/07/22 09:54 AM
-1

The better question: Do you care about the opinions of homophobes?
/r/seduction08/07/22 04:23 PM
2

I said towards 21. Take your best guess and then nudge it slightly in the direction that you think she would appreciate. If she looks 18, guess 20. If she looks 25, guess 22. If she looks 30, guess 27. If she looks 40, guess 35. If she looks 60, guess 50. (Yes, we old farts date too.)
/r/seduction03/07/22 12:03 AM
24

If it really matters to you, it's ok to just ask. If you're worried about offending, round your guess a couple years towards 21. Teenagers will be flattered that you considered them more mature. Adults will be flattered that they look youthful.
/r/seduction01/07/22 06:34 PM
1

You can't expect the Internet to judge these things based only on your biased explanation. Of course everything will seem like her fault. Break up with her if you're not happy with her. You don't need anyone's permission. Breakups are an important part of the dating process. If similar problems keep happening with different women, realize that the common denominator is you. You might be unconsciously choosing immature women. Or maybe your communication skills are worse than you realize. Or maybe…
/r/seduction24/06/22 12:32 PM
2

Exactly, it can pretty much always be summed up as poor awareness of social cues and/or poor calibration.
/r/seduction20/06/22 08:35 PM
5

but it is considered creepy and taboo to approach/compliment based off of what she is wearing. There's nothing creepy about approaching a woman that you're attracted to. Approach is a fundamental requirement of the dating world. If you come across as "creepy", it's because you're doing at least one aspect of it wrong, probably several. Approaching well requires a variety of social skills that you'll need to build.
/r/seduction20/06/22 02:25 PM
2

Why date someone who thinks you're shit for simply being born a male? Even with only one side of the story, we know that that is not an accurate characterization of the person's view. She got upset with him in response to his views and/or how he communicated them. You can't really complain about someone assuming the worst about you when you're actively assuming the worst about them. Exaggerations are not helpful.
/r/seduction18/06/22 05:03 PM
3

Are there people that have different opinions than you? Yes. Do some of them take their views a toxic extreme? Yes. Are MOST of them toxic? No. The vast majority of people are pretty damn reasonable, even the ones that disagree with you. You should try improving your communication skills so that you can have more productive conversations with people who don't share your view of the world.
/r/seduction18/06/22 04:46 PM
-1

Height gets asked about because you often can't see height. A lot of pics don't have a banana for scale. You can pretty much always see weight. That's why Tinder was invented.
/r/seduction17/06/22 04:00 PM
8

Millions of fat dudes that feel entitled to a thin woman. Hypocrisy has nothing to do with gender.
/r/seduction17/06/22 12:36 PM
1

"No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit." IOW, you'll eventually see past the appearances and judge her based on her personality, which is going to be a crapshoot, just like it is with anyone else.
/r/seduction16/06/22 03:44 AM
1

You have the right idea, but no need to pay so much. Plenty of hobbyist photographers out there that could help you stand out for less than $100.
/r/seduction09/06/22 10:06 PM
2

I don't even know how I would justify it to women. If you look back at the examples I gave, you'll notice I made no attempt to justify or explain anything. You don't have to. You definitely don't have to try to boil it down into some sort of bumper sticker explanation. If someone asks about your sexual history, you can say something like, "Dating has never come easily to me, so I'm still a virgin." That's a fair and accurate statement, right? Then you can turn it into a confident flirtation by b…
/r/seduction08/06/22 07:25 PM
3

having almost nothing going for him Try to be less judgmental. I'm sure both guys are decent people with various pros and cons This planet has 3 billion women and 3 billion men. Most of those men aren't tall, rich, or ripped, yet they still manage to pair up with the available women. How? By approaching.
/r/seduction08/06/22 07:01 PM
1

Spend some time reflecting on which part of your ego you're trying to protect with that cautious approach. What is it you're afraid of? Why aren't you letting yourself be vulnerable to that fear?
/r/seduction08/06/22 06:52 PM
4

It mostly depends on how you go about it. The better you understand yourself and the better you can communicate your feelings, the less likely you are to scare anyone away by revealing them. Think about the difference between these two statements: "I'm a loser who can't ever make friends!" "Making friends has never been easy for me and I'm feeling pretty lonely today." The first uses permanent, absolute phrasing. It's what you'd expect from someone who expects to be in the same exact position de…
/r/seduction08/06/22 06:48 PM
1

Well, sounds like there's room for more vulnerability there. Try to upgrade "sometimes" to "often".
/r/seduction08/06/22 06:23 PM
4

You're right about the connection, but the cause and effect are backwards. Most smokers start young. It's a rebellious act. Shy kids don't do rebellious acts. Thus, it's mostly confident, outgoing people that take up smoking. But it's not the smoking that matters. It's the willingness to take chances that's attractive. That is what you need to develop.
/r/seduction08/06/22 03:56 PM
2

I do what I want Including walking up to attractive women on a regular basis?
/r/seduction08/06/22 02:38 PM
3

You can't control feelings, only actions. In those moments when you're hurting, the only think you need to do is be kind to yourself. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be lonely. We all have those moments. When you're ready, pick yourself up and do whatever's next on your list.
/r/seduction08/06/22 02:36 PM
18

I haven't read Manson, but perhaps it would help to understand what vulnerability really is. Vulnerability is strength. Massive fucking strength. It takes huge balls of steel to put down your weapons and shield and walk around saying, "This is who I am and nothing you say can hurt me." That's not something a scared weakling can do. A person with that much strength can't be needy because they are already content with who they are. So... work on building up that strength. Start with where you are.…
/r/seduction08/06/22 02:12 PM
7

Yup, it might even cut into some of your reddit time.
/r/seduction06/06/22 12:43 AM
10

Get involved with a local service organization or two. You'll be welcomed with open arms and you'll have some lifelong friends in no time. Bonus: You'll do some good deeds along the way.
/r/seduction05/06/22 10:34 PM
1

it doesn't go away. You have to learn to act in spite of the fear. Bravery. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
/r/seduction02/06/22 07:44 PM
2

The same way you seduce anyone else. Read the wiki and practice. I know it's tempting to latch onto a whichever woman happens to float into your life, but if you want to have a healthy dating life, you need to look at the big picture and focus on improving your social skills. There are no quick fixes.
/r/seduction02/06/22 03:38 PM
3

Your post was good. I was just trying to add context for a rookies that might use these things as excuses to sit on the sidelines.
/r/seduction02/06/22 01:55 PM
49

Those are all good things to work on, but for the vast majority of guys in this sub, the number one thing holding them back... is the failure to approach. Rookies, do not let lists like this keep you from approaching. No matter how good you get, you won't always be interesting, your timing won't always be good, your body language won't always be open, etc. To progress, you have to be willing to set your ego aside and approach badly. Failure is part of the learning process. Embrace it.
/r/seduction02/06/22 01:02 PM
4

Whatever the reason, the fact remains that she does what she does. You either need to be ok with it or move on in search of someone who is more compatible with your preferences. This is a crucial lesson to learn, because it is very, very rare for someone to change. Telling yourself, "She's perfect except..." is a recipe for heartache.
/r/seduction01/06/22 07:39 PM
3

The DiCarlo Kino Escalation ladder is a good guide for how to progress gradually in a way that gives her easy chances to stop you if she's not comfortable. Learn it, embrace it. Also, there's nothing wrong with straight up asking. There are ways to do it confidently and even if it does come out awkwardly, a moment of awkwardness is a small price to pay for solid consent.
/r/seduction31/05/22 05:56 PM
2

Maybe it's an IOI. Maybe you make them uncomfortable in a creepy way. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Regardless, quit hyper-analyzing women from a distance. If you want to know if she's interested, ask her if she'd like to join you for a drink after work.
/r/seduction25/05/22 04:03 PM
13

Gentlemen, please pay no attention to this bro-science. I have been the one to initiate exclusivity in every serious relationship I've ever had. You don't have to play games.
/r/seduction25/05/22 02:43 AM
1

Less worrying, more kino escalation. Check out the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder if you don't know how.
/r/seduction24/05/22 07:53 PM
2

Deception is never a good idea. If you proceed, make sure she understands that a relationship isn't part of the deal. The hangups about virginity all come from a place of scarcity and insecurity. Guys start to fear that they'll never get laid. But that's not you, right? You're pretty sure you can fuck her, right? It's just a question of whether or not you want to. So... whether you fuck her not, you can take that albatross off your neck knowing that you are perfectly capable of getting laid. You…
/r/seduction24/05/22 02:16 AM
4

Carrying around such stereotypes does not do anything good for your game.
/r/seduction23/05/22 11:20 PM
3

Go with whatever you're comfortable with. Anyone who is genuinely excited to keep in touch with you will help find a way to make that happen. If she doesn't want to give out her number, she'll offer her insta or snap or whatever she prefers.
/r/seduction23/05/22 06:36 PM
2

I've found that it helps to remove any expectations and hopes for results. Go into it assuming that you're going to bomb and say the wrong things. Your goal is purely to work through the inertia. Every time words come out of your mouth... that's a win, even if it's pure gibberish. The fear will always be there, so you're just trying to learn how to act in spite of the fear. Your chest is pounding, your hands are sweating, your brain is full of excuses... and you said "Hi" anyways. You can run to…
/r/seduction23/05/22 06:19 PM
9

But women are terrible at explaining what they mean. It's not just women and it's not just a dating thing. Most people are bad at coaching. Once you've mastered a skill, it's hard to put yourself back into the shoes of a beginner in order communicate effectively with them. It's so easy to forget the full scope of the learning process and overlook all of the little prerequisite skills that need to be learned before "relax and be yourself" can actually work.
/r/seduction23/05/22 04:15 PM
1

Are you living in the place that's best for you at this stage of your life? If so, don't let anyone shame you for it. You're living your life the best way you know how. If she has a problem with that, she's not the right one for you. Beyond that, realize you're coming at this with a scarcity mindset. If there were a hundred women lining up at your door, you wouldn't be worried about some of them walking away. You'd much more relaxed and much choosier. Getting to that mindset is wayyyyy more impo…
/r/seduction19/05/22 09:11 PM
3

The rage isn't helping your life any. Things will get better for you when you work through it. I suspect that with enough reflection, you'll realize that you're not really mad at them. Nor are you mad at the human species for having this particular mating ritual. I think you're realistic enough to understand that those things aren't anybody's fault. I would bet a million dollars that the real emotion underneath it all is frustration with yourself for struggling to learn the ritual and fear that …
/r/seduction17/05/22 01:00 PM
12

Whats is goooing on here??? Shitty communication. If something's bothering you and your partner is unable/unwilling to sit down and talk about it seriously, it's time to ask yourself if she's really the right partner for you. P.S. Ass play is a lot of fun. Don't rule it out just because of stupid stigmas.
/r/seduction17/05/22 11:44 AM
1

It doesn't matter what you say. If you ever want to actually touch her, you need to get together in person and start escalating kino.
/r/seduction17/05/22 11:32 AM
253

Be busier. Meet more women. Do more stuff. The more time you spend sitting around doing nothing interesting, the more time you'll spend obsessing over shit that's not important. Push your life in a positive direction and these distractions will become less and less of a problem.
/r/seduction16/05/22 01:40 PM
2

There are bad ways to do cold approach. That seems to be what you're fixating on. And you're right... bad ways are bad. There are also good ways to cold approach. Every time you hold a door open for someone and say, "Hi", that's a cold approach. Every time you ask a stranger to dance, that's a cold approach. Small talk with the person behind you in line, cold approach. These things have been socially acceptable forever and there are many, many more that go over well if you perform them with at l…
/r/seduction16/05/22 01:15 PM
2

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
/r/seduction16/05/22 12:44 PM
15

To some people, yes. But there will ALWAYS be fifty things about you that turn off some people. Focusing on the negative will get you exactly nowhere. The question you need to be asking is, "Will some people find me attractive as I am?" That answer is clearly yes, so you should focus your energy on finding those people.
/r/seduction16/05/22 12:38 PM
3

Yeah, compatibility is everything. Game is just a way of speeding up the search for it.
/r/seduction16/05/22 01:04 AM
11

In the dating world, there isn't much point in trying to fix a bad first impression. Ya just learn from it and move on.
/r/seduction15/05/22 06:03 PM
3

I can't think of any good reasons to hide a monogamous, heterosexual relationship. That's an extremely odd demand and I would definitely question his motives and honesty. However... it's his life and his decision. As with any boundary issue, it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to be in a relationship on those terms. It doesn't sound like you do, so you should end it and seek out a partner who wants what you want.
/r/seduction15/05/22 01:11 AM
0

Failing to respond to some messages is hardly the crime of the century, so of course you should be kind and cordial if you happen to run into her. The bigger issue here is why are you so upset about it? You seem to have a significant emotional attachment to her. Why? Are you dating her? Have you fucked? Kissed?
/r/seduction14/05/22 10:03 PM
1

I'm full of flaws, both practical and moral. I make no claims otherwise. I come here to nudge rookies in a healthy direction.
/r/seduction14/05/22 02:57 PM
3

I'm confused... You're the one planning these dates, right? Why are you planning dates that don't align with your life goals?
/r/seduction14/05/22 03:59 AM
2

In that case, i hope your studies take you well beyond the 101 course.
/r/seduction14/05/22 12:29 AM
1

We mostly agree, but you're forgetting the context: OP is a rookie. He has a lot to learn still and implied consent is definitely not part of the 101 course. We'll teach him that part once he has some serious experience under his belt.
/r/seduction13/05/22 11:54 PM
1

How ya gonna invite someone out and then just not care about what they want? Why did you even include them in the activity if they don't have any say in what happens? Both people's opinions matter and any decent date will try to find an appropriate balance between the two.
/r/seduction13/05/22 11:09 PM
5

They are doing these things. They just learned about it through trial and error a decade ago and they do it in a low key way that you're not seeing. Also, if you look at divorce rate, you'll realize that a lot of people end up settling for the first decent partner they find and then spend the next twenty years chafing at the giant incompatibilities until it finally falls apart.
/r/seduction13/05/22 08:27 PM
1

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’d be making her uncomfortable or something if... Sounds like you're expecting yourself to have all of the answers. You don't. None of us do. Whenever you're not sure what she might want or how she might react to something... ask. Then she'll tell you. Then you'll know.
/r/seduction13/05/22 07:02 PM
7

No, that's a totally separate thing and it's definitely not cockiness. She has every right to halt your escalations and you need to respect that. Your description of this date is very contradictory. I think you don't have a very good grasp of the situation, so please proceed with caution, lest you inadvertently cross a line.
/r/seduction13/05/22 01:30 PM
10

Ya know how the man is expected to lead and the woman is expected to follow? That's probably what you've been seeing. They like you and they want to go out with you, so when you start sexting, they follow your lead. They're not really getting worked up by some stranger's words on a screen, though. They all get bombarded with that shit constantly online. It's nowhere near as exciting for them as it is for you. In my entire life, I've met one woman who was seriously into sexting. The rest are just…
/r/seduction13/05/22 12:49 PM
16

Stop trying to escalate with words, especially over text. In fact, let the texting die down for a bit. Give her the gift of missing you. When she does, ask her out. Then escalate kino.
/r/seduction13/05/22 12:32 PM
46

This is a classic slut shield. She may be dtf, but she doesn't want to be called out on it due to the stigma. Give it a little time and then invite her to hang out. Then escalate kino.
/r/seduction13/05/22 12:21 PM
1

You seem to be confusing goals and motivations. Speaking of which, what is your motive for posting here? Is that ego validation as well? Is that why you make a point to insult everyone?
/r/seduction13/05/22 11:30 AM
2

it feels much more gratifying to pull the maybe girl than the yes girl So... ego validation. Got it. OP, that's not a road you want to spend much time traveling on.
/r/seduction13/05/22 12:07 AM
3

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.
/r/seduction12/05/22 11:58 PM
27

That works. For future reference, though, you don't even really have to respond to the friendship request. It's usually hollow anyways. You can politely agree to it knowing that you ain't gonna hear from her again anyways.
/r/seduction12/05/22 07:23 PM
2

Being short is a disadvantage. Disadvantages can be overcome. After all, there are literally a billion married men at 5'7" or less.
/r/seduction12/05/22 05:10 PM
1

If op is driving 3 hours for his date it’s obvious that he hasn’t found that in anyone closer… Yes, it's safe to assume that he's going after women who he believes are his best option. Also, if he's anything like most of the rookies in this sub, his perception is skewed by a host of limiting beliefs and and fears of rejection. Driving three hours is really fucking annoying, but it's also copout that helps him avoid looking in the mirror and doing the emotional work that he'll need for long-term …
/r/seduction12/05/22 12:28 AM
1

I'm familiar with rural America. Do the math... Even if OP lives in Fergus County Montana, he's still driving past dozens of single women. Many, many more if he's in a more typical rural area
/r/seduction11/05/22 11:57 PM
1

If there's even 1 per mile, he's driving past 200 on his way to that hookup. And if you check the numbers, you'll probably find that there's a lot more than just 1 per mile.
/r/seduction11/05/22 11:29 PM
4

I feel your pain, but the problem is with the logistics, not the women. Nobody has a 💯 success rate. Also, unless you're living in Antarctica, you gotta be passing right on by a whole shitload of single women during those three hours.
/r/seduction11/05/22 08:20 PM
3

Your wording is fine and you can even get sexual in your chatting if you want to confirm that she knows what you're up to. You just can't expect a guarantee. Consent is always revokable, especially on a first date.
/r/seduction11/05/22 08:03 PM
5

The term you're looking for is demisexual. You're not alone. Different people have different libidos. Don't over-extrapolate from one mismatched date. Keep approaching, keep dating. You'll be fine.
/r/seduction11/05/22 07:44 PM
5

Saying you're looking for a relationship is not the same thing as saying you're looking for a relationship with her. You can be open and honest about your goals without losing your choosy frame.
/r/seduction11/05/22 06:05 PM
6

His advice works... as long as you never want to be taken seriously. For the rest of us, it's important to recognize which questions are serious and which are lighthearted. "What are you looking for" is virtually never a shit test. It's the single most basic compatibility question in the dating world: She wants to know if there's any chance at a mutually enjoyable connection between the two. It's a fair question that deserves an accurate answer.
/r/seduction11/05/22 05:57 PM
11

Everything is fair game. Even the nerdiest thing in the world. Hiding the things you care about is a surefire way to get wrapped up in a relationship that doesn't accommodate the things you care about. If a woman hates your favorite thing so much that she can't even stand to hear an occasional five minute story about it, she ain't a very compatible partner for you, is she? Tell your stories and if she bails, so be it. You're better off without her. The key is how you talk about things. Most peop…
/r/seduction10/05/22 06:35 PM
1

Absolutely. There's a lot of cultural baggage around the word "weak", though. To clarify, strength is willingness to pursue your goals, to be capable of handling rejection, to be unashamed of your desires.
/r/seduction10/05/22 10:27 AM
3

Does she want to do what you want to do? Cool, do that. If y'all want different things, move on to someone who matches you better.
/r/seduction10/05/22 01:17 AM
4

Dumping heavy shit on someone you just met is usually a bad idea, regardless of gender. But as your connection with someone grows, you should be sharing more and more of your inner self with them. Again, regardless of gender. You can't build a deep relationship with your partner if you don't let them know what's going on inside you.
/r/seduction10/05/22 01:15 AM
0

Somewhat. It's a basic human need, so you will certainly enjoy scratching that itch. More importantly, knowing your capable of attracting women will ease some of your Forever Alone anxiety, which will help you keep an even keel, even when you're not getting laid. Sex and dating aren't the answer to all of your problems, though. There are many aspects of life that you'll need to keep in balance.
/r/seduction09/05/22 10:22 PM
2

That's a lot of words to say, "i havent touched her yet". Work on that. Read up on DiCarlo if you don't know how.
/r/seduction09/05/22 09:57 PM
1

You can quickly glance around a bar and estimate the ratio. You can't do that on an app. So... Why do you think the ratio is skewed? Where did you come up with that perception? Is it accurate?
/r/seduction09/05/22 09:52 PM
-4

it feels like all of these places are heavily crowded by men. But does this perception of yours match reality? Perhaps you should be looking inward for an explanation.
/r/seduction09/05/22 09:23 PM
1

Then just take it as a sign that she's nervous and self-conscious, probably because she likes you. How's your kino escalation going?
/r/seduction09/05/22 09:02 PM
2

Are you carrying any of the conversation? She might be politely encouraging you to talk more.
/r/seduction09/05/22 08:33 PM
1

Sure. 80% of this stuff is realizingv that it isn't a big deal. A date is nothing more than hanging out with someone you might want to kiss. Asking someone out on a date is just saying, "hey, wanna hang out?" And if she says no or it doesn't go well, ya just move on to the next one. After all, you don't want to be with someone who needs to persuaded to like you, do you? Mostly you're just searching for the ones that naturally see your value.
/r/seduction09/05/22 07:43 PM
3

For sure, there are healthy ways to process your emotions and not-so-healthy ways. But you do need to recognize and process them. Voicing them with a trusted support person (such as a partner) is a big part of that. The goal is to address them before things get so bad that you risk erupting.
/r/seduction09/05/22 07:24 PM
12

The science is pretty clear that ignoring your emotions isn't good for your mental health. There might be mixed results on how women respond to a man who prioritizes his mental health, but i think that should be pretty low on a guy's list of concerns. As far as I'm concerned, any woman who expects me to martyr myself in the name of "toughness" can go fuck herself.
/r/seduction09/05/22 07:12 PM
1

Ask her out
/r/seduction09/05/22 02:17 PM
4

In a case like this, I'd probably just say something general "The pictures turned out great." No need to force a compliment about her specifically.
/r/seduction09/05/22 01:50 PM
3

You don't have to do Anything manipulative. But if you want someone who is a good long term match for you, you WILL have to be patient and selective. You probably won't find your best match right away.
/r/seduction08/05/22 04:40 AM
0

It's time to fix that! Best wishes, king!
/r/seduction06/05/22 01:09 PM
1

There's nothing to debate. None of us can read the mind of someone we've never met. Forget about her and focus on your own life. Have you asked anyone out lately?
/r/seduction06/05/22 01:06 PM
3

Dude, you're still paying attention to her. You're here talking about her, right? Let it go. There's a relevant English saying: "It's not my circus. They're not my monkeys."
/r/seduction06/05/22 01:02 PM
1

Yup, i like to think of it as "being on your best path". If you aren't taking care of your health, you're headed towards major medical problems. If you aren't smart with your money, you're headed towards major financial problems. If you aren't a good friend, you're headed towards major social problems. And so on and so on. Most women aren't judging you by where you are now. They're judging you on where you're going, cuz dating is all about finding a partner who's headed in the same direction.
/r/seduction06/05/22 12:57 PM
0

Sounds like an ego thing, but who knows? Who cares? If you don't like her behavior, stop paying attention to her behavior. Save your attention for women who behave in ways that you like.
/r/seduction06/05/22 12:41 PM
3

So... You're expecting people to come approach you? Why aren't you approaching them? It's a two-way street, king. Be the change you want to see in the world. P.S. If you make a point to be more friendly in public, there's a really good chance that people will notice that and perceive you as more approachable.
/r/seduction06/05/22 12:31 PM
2

Every time you add an insult to your comments, it distracts from what you're really trying to say. It's a shame that you're undercutting yourself like that.
/r/seduction06/05/22 12:19 PM
1

I guess it depends on whether that is really the choice OP has to make. I would wager that she has more options than that.
/r/seduction05/05/22 11:07 PM
15

How many other women have you got on in the past month? When a person's dating life is really slow, it's easy to over-invest in a bad situation. Do you really think this unavailable woman is your best option? Or is it possible that you're too afraid to take the emotional risk of asking out single women?
/r/seduction05/05/22 08:00 PM
1

There are many possible explanations, but they don't really matter. The important part to you is to accept things as they are. Are you comfortable with being her secret? Will you still be comfortable with that months from now? If yes to both, keep having fun and don't worry about it. If not... well, maybe it's time for you to move on to a situation that fits you better.
/r/seduction05/05/22 05:50 PM
1

it falls within the concepts of building investment and framing her as the pursuer, not 'getting consent,' If you need to bury consent behind a framing that protects your political leanings and sense of masculinity, that's perfectly fine. The important thing is that you get it.
/r/seduction05/05/22 05:14 PM
2

Actually I have been in therapy since coming to college. I'm glad to hear that! As always, the advice of people you know and trust (especially professionals) is worth a lot more than any advice you get from internet strangers. I think it's pretty normal to feeling what I'm feeling right now. Absolutely! There are many, many people struggling with issues of shame and vulnerability. Economic differences are only the tip of that iceberg. If you haven't already, i would strongly encourage you to sta…
/r/seduction05/05/22 03:32 PM
4

Y'all realize that you're trying to talk a person out of getting mental health support for their mental health struggles? Would you be telling someone with a broken leg to do anything other than go see a doctor? The right answer is the right answer, even if it's expensive and imperfect.
/r/seduction05/05/22 02:43 PM
7

Volunteer. Lots of service organizations that would welcome you with open arms at little or no cost.
/r/seduction05/05/22 02:14 AM
41

Lots of good possibilities, but i think it's more important what happens after 5. Try to structure things so your ass is getting out and being social as soon as you're off the clock each day. All the hobbies in the world won't make a lick of difference if you don't use your free time to get out and meet people.
/r/seduction04/05/22 07:27 PM
12

Just guessing here, but you're probably putting the cart before the horse. Do you currently have the social skills to approach a woman, flirt with her, and get her number? If not, you have a lot of work to do before you'll need to worry about the logistical aspects of a same-night lay. Start with first things first.
/r/seduction04/05/22 12:29 PM
1

She's considering ending the relationship, which is not unusual. Most relationships don't end in a bang; they fizzle out as someone starts to realize it's not working.
/r/seduction03/05/22 07:03 PM
1

All the more reason to not jump to conclusions.
/r/seduction03/05/22 04:17 PM
1

Dude is something she would never actually go for when it comes to serious stuff. Bad boy. Arrogant Chad. Muscle head. Biker. Music guy. Whatever. Or maybe she just meant he's a dog person and she likes cats. Maybe different love languages and different approaches to family and spending. Compatibility is a lot more complicated than the cliches you're tossing around. You're not gaining anything by trying to cram people into convenient little boxes.
/r/seduction03/05/22 03:03 PM
2

Then it's a good thing your women are adept at lying to you about the attention they get. Try not to erupt too bad if you ever accidentally get a glimpse behind the curtain.
/r/seduction03/05/22 02:26 PM
3

If you were half the scientist you claim to be, you'd know that correlation does not imply causation. And even if it did, you'd know that your studies contain lots of exceptions to your supposed rule, which means it does not apply to "any woman" as you originally claimed.
/r/seduction03/05/22 02:24 PM
2

Nope, cuckolding involves humiliation/degradation which is one of my few turnoffs. I get enough stupid insults here on reddit; i don't need that nonsense in the bedroom. I'm just a slut who is comfortable dating sluts. If I ran for president, my motto would be "More sex for all!" P.S. Kink-shaming isn't helping your game any.
/r/seduction03/05/22 02:20 PM
4

Fucking a bunch of dudes is NOT in the best interest of any woman. It takes an impressive amount of arrogance to assume that you know what's best for such a large group of people.
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:34 PM
2

I already agreed that it's good to develop your own style. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive to word choice but that's because this sub is full of rookies who say "That doesn't work for me!" and the correct answer is virtually always, "It will, you just aren't doing it right yet. Keep practicing." But if you have a firm grasp of the basics and choose to do things differently, more power to ya, king! Best wishes!
/r/seduction03/05/22 10:20 AM
2

She's clearly showing some interest in OP. She's also clearly saying her relationship comes first. She might be guilty of monkey-branching, but if she was a cheater, she wouldn't have turned him down; she'd already have OP's cock in her mouth.
/r/seduction03/05/22 10:11 AM
2

Well, i happen to be non-monogamous, so yeah, you can fuck my girlfriend if she wants to. 😂 But more to the point, your boundaries dictate how you act; they don't control the other person. For example, you are 💯 within your rights to say, "I don't want to date a woman that ever talks to men." And you are 💯 within your rights to end the relationship if it ever happens. But she doesn't have to live by your standards. She's well within her rights to only date men who are more trusting and secure. S…
/r/seduction03/05/22 09:59 AM
2

It means she's not optimistic about the future of the relationship. It also means she's not willing to do anything during the relationship. IOW, she's not willing to cheat. Did I miss anything?
/r/seduction03/05/22 09:47 AM
1

Make sure you only date ugly women then. Hot women are constantly dealing with random dudes who want to fuck them. Also, "let"??? Doesn't she get to decide for herself?
/r/seduction03/05/22 09:44 AM
3

So now you've added me to the list of people that are inferior to you? Must be pretty comfy up on that mountain of certainty. I hope you learn some humility, dude.
/r/seduction03/05/22 01:47 AM
3

I have no idea what she might do and my point is that you don't either. You clearly think you know, but that's just your stereotypes speaking. What I do know is that she hasn't come close to cheating with OP and she clearly rejected his attempt to escalate. That's not someone who deserves the harsh judgement you're throwing around.
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:37 AM
2

We have no idea whether she flirted. She mentioned her boyfriend in response to being asked out. That's completely normal behavior. The only sketchy thing is that she mentioned the relationship troubles, but if the relationship is genuinely on the rocks, that's not terribly unusual either.
/r/seduction02/05/22 11:18 PM
1

There's no easy answer to trust. Communication is key.
/r/seduction02/05/22 10:39 PM
2

Nah, i don't buy that expansive view of cheating. You're gonna drive yourself crazy judging women for actions that could lead to actions that might lead to cheating someday. I'm not optimistic about the dudes relationship, but vilifying her for a conversation is way out of line.
/r/seduction02/05/22 10:38 PM
2

The first hour consists of tiny little kino's like a hello hug and the occasional playful tap on the arm or whatever. Of you don't even want to do that, why are you even on a date with her?
/r/seduction02/05/22 10:35 PM
3

She drew a clear boundary when she shot down the date. What more do you want from her???
/r/seduction02/05/22 06:05 PM
2

That sucks for your friend, but if you can't go through life expecting your partner to cheat the minute you take your eyes off her. That's an awful way to live.
/r/seduction02/05/22 03:44 PM
1

after an hour of speaking to someone Sounds like you're missing the kino escalation. That would explain why things progress slowly for you.
/r/seduction02/05/22 03:29 PM
16

She shot down his date invitation. She hasn't even been in the same room as OP, let alone touched him. That's not cheating by any sane definition. She might be guilty of monkey-branching, but we'd need a lot more details about her relationship before we could assume that.
/r/seduction02/05/22 03:23 PM
3

Women in relationships aren't even allowed to converse with other men? That's a pretty ancient mindset.
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:33 PM
1

Do you spend a lot of time with people in a typical week?
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:23 PM
1

Everybody ramps up the sexual tension over time. It's pretty much the same progression of increasing comfort between any two humans. Think of the one-hour date as simply being the first hour of your longer date. It's just that there's a bit of a gap between the first and second hour.
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:02 PM
4

Sounds like your social skills need significant improvement. What would you say is the biggest problem?
/r/seduction02/05/22 01:07 PM
1

the feedback being they felt “I didn’t like them” that let me know it takes a while to bring my personality out more... Is that the only possible interpretation? I don't see how you made that leap. So I choose what I enjoyed more Cool, it's always your prerogative to develop your own style. Just make sure you're doing things for your own reasons instead of trying to confirm to some limiting beliefs based on a bad interpretation of some feedback you once got from a couple people who barely knew y…
/r/seduction02/05/22 12:41 PM
2

Communication usually isn't the problem for rookies. Escalating kino is probably what you need to focus on. Have you kissed this woman yet? But if you want to improve your conversational skills, ask open-ended questions and dig beneath the surface of topics. Most of the time, the plot of the story doesn't matter much. It's the characters and the underlying emotions and motivations that make the story interesting. Focus on the whys more than the whats.
/r/seduction02/05/22 12:31 PM
10

99% of women aren’t that easy Huh? Single women go on dates with men who ask them out. That's how it works. Approach. Flirt. Ask out.
/r/seduction02/05/22 12:26 PM
1

Ok, but it sounds like you learned the wrong lesson from those experiences.
/r/seduction02/05/22 11:33 AM
1

You can prevent any misunderstandings by communicating clearly that it'll be a quick little meetup, not a "keep your entire night free" date. Especially if it's on a weekday when she probably isn't free for a full date anyways. Even if all that goes wrong, she should still realize that you like her when you escalate kino and invite her out for a second date.
/r/seduction02/05/22 10:57 AM
4

For someone I met online? A drink or walk in the park. Maybe a round of disc golf. My first dates are always less than an hour long. It's just a chance for both of us to screen for red flags and make sure the conversation flows in person. Then she can spend the next week or so fantasizing about all the fun we'll have on day 2.
/r/seduction02/05/22 12:57 AM
2

Are you responding to the right person? I don't have any issues with marriage. I'm just advocating for high standards when it comes to compatibility. A partnership works wayyyy better when both want the same things out of life.
/r/seduction01/05/22 05:58 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uee6uy/comment/i6uih33/
/r/seduction01/05/22 03:43 AM
1

I know. So what can you do?
/r/seduction01/05/22 03:37 AM
2

To try what?
/r/seduction01/05/22 03:34 AM
1

So get taller then. And when you're done making excuses, start upgrading your social skills from "decent" to "excellent".
/r/seduction01/05/22 03:29 AM
1

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I suggest you worry less about your height and more about developing your social skills.
/r/seduction30/04/22 11:42 PM
1

Read the wiki and approach, approach, approach. https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/wiki/index
/r/seduction30/04/22 10:54 PM
1

You'll have to be more specific.
/r/seduction30/04/22 10:25 PM
1

This is basically the nonprofit version of a "hired gun". I get it, you have a captive audience and that's fun to fantasize about. But they're being nice to you because it's their job. Leave them alone and learn how to talk to women who want to flirt with you.
/r/seduction29/04/22 02:32 PM
1

By trusting the process. You're not where you want to be yet, but you've already done the hardest part: you recognized the problem and you're ready to work on it. Now you just have to wake up each day and put in the work. If you do that, you can be confident that you will reach your goals eventually and you can be proud of the tiny bit of progress you're making each time you push yourself out of your comfort zone.
/r/seduction29/04/22 11:20 AM
2

You've come to the right place! Read the wiki and approach, approach, approach!
/r/seduction29/04/22 03:44 AM
1

Then be a lumberjack! I was speaking to the idea that we should conform some archetype that "most women want".
/r/seduction27/04/22 11:47 PM
1

I guess that's where I disagree. In a casual sex arrangement, i think the only assumption anybody should make is that they're partner is attracted enough to want to fuck cuz that's all we agreed to. Beyond that, ya gotta bring it up if it's important to you. Finding and enforcing your boundaries isn't really my responsibility. And I say this as someone who puts a lot of effort into helping partners define and manage their boundaries. I'm happy to help, but it's still not my responsibility.
/r/seduction27/04/22 11:15 PM
9

It's a long shot, but there's no harm in trying. More importantly, you need to expand your offline efforts. Bumping into someone in cyberspace shouldn't be the highlight of your month. You'll need to get comfortable meeting new women on a regular basis, if you ever want to have a healthy dating life.
/r/seduction27/04/22 09:12 PM
1

I agree completely that he shouldn't lead her on. I'm a big fan of radical honesty. Also, if he offers her casual sex and she accepts casual sex, she shouldn't be surprised when all she gets is casual sex.
/r/seduction27/04/22 06:41 PM
3

Sure thing, dude. 🙄
/r/seduction27/04/22 04:36 PM
10

Some do. Some don't. Some want to, but don't do it because of the stigma. But aside from that, most humans (of any gender) want to have a highly-compatible long-term partner and nobody has an easy path to that.
/r/seduction27/04/22 04:33 PM
16

You're absolutely right that the initial attraction part isn't an issue for them. They are taught how to gain attention from an early age. That doesn't mean dating is easy for them, though. The hard part for them is sifting through all of the bad matches to find someone who is actually compatible for the long-run. That's a nut that they spend their entire dating lives trying to crack and its every bit as frustrating for them as our problems are for us.
/r/seduction27/04/22 04:02 PM
2

that vibe might only attract people with similar vibes That's true of every vibe. You can try to hide yourself behind a popular persona if you want, but eventually she's going to realize that you're not actually a lumberjack or whatever your idea of masculinity is. Better to live the life that you want to live and focus your efforts on the women that dig that.
/r/seduction27/04/22 11:53 AM
2

You can dress it up in flowery language if you want, but the simple fact of the matter is that vast majority of relationships don't last. Most never even get very serious. When we refer to that as practice, we're not saying anything about the partner. I'm sure she's a wonderful person. We're just trying to get OP to put things in their proper perspective. And if he listens... she'll get the oral she wants... and so will his future partners. Everybody wins. He might even figure out that different…
/r/seduction27/04/22 11:24 AM
4

Compatibility is way more complicated than any one conversation, but you're absolutely right that it's important to find someone who helps you be the person that you want to be. And I'm glad you two found each other, cuz she definitely would not be a good match for me!
/r/seduction27/04/22 10:22 AM
1

I thought I blocked you already. OP, the years are going to pass either way. The question you need to ask yourself is: When you wake up four years from now do you want wake up as a man with better social skills? Or do you want to be the same as you are today?
/r/seduction27/04/22 01:21 AM
1

Ok then. He was the one who described himself as a newborn. 🤷‍♂️ Regardless, there's no point in sugarcoating. There ain't no quick fixes when it comes to developing social skills
/r/seduction27/04/22 01:18 AM
1

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope for a better past." What's done is done. Forgive yourself and put your energy towards building a better future.
/r/seduction26/04/22 10:35 PM
1

Excellent point. Make sure you're escalating kino, op.
/r/seduction26/04/22 10:12 PM
4

If you're a 29 year old with the social skills of a newborn, you have 29 years of catching up to do. Even if we put you on the accelerated course, your progress is still going to be measured in years, not months. Mentally prepare yourself for a long process with big gaps between milestones.
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:49 PM
1

There aren't many women looking for a guy with that lifestyle, so you'll either need to get really good at finding them or figure out a way to expand your life. I think the latter will work out better for you in the long run.
/r/seduction26/04/22 06:51 PM
-1

Nothing good comes from kink shaming.
/r/seduction26/04/22 06:39 PM
1

I’m NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) Why are you defining yourself by what you are not doing? What are you doing with your life?
/r/seduction26/04/22 06:36 PM
6

A shitpost is a shitpost, no matter who posts it. If he can't handle his shitpost being called shitpost, he shouldn't shitpost.
/r/seduction25/04/22 03:50 PM
13

I made fun of the post, which was nothing more than an insulting little rant. If that's all he has to offer, he need not bother coming back. Same goes for you and your Internet Tough Guy act.
/r/seduction25/04/22 03:12 PM
2

Happy to help. Best wishes!
/r/seduction25/04/22 02:43 PM
2

It's the subset of the same problem. You have an abundant mindset in general, but when you view someone as "upper echelon", you tense up, thinking you need to seize that rare opportunity. Scarcity. Remind yourself that there will be plenty of those opportunities throughout your life. If the current one doesn't work out, it's not going to derail your life.
/r/seduction25/04/22 02:43 PM
3

By trusting the process. The crippling part of a scarcity mentality isn't about scarcity now; it's the fear of scarcity forever. Hence the "forever alone" meme. With that scarcity forever mindset, you start over-investing in bad situations because you're afraid that you won't ever be able to do better. Personally, I don't have any interesting dates lined up right now. I've been too busy with projects lately to keep the pipeline flowing. That's ok, though, cuz I know I'll get it flowing again soo…
/r/seduction25/04/22 01:30 PM
45

Cool story, bro. Thanks for stopping by.
/r/seduction25/04/22 04:01 AM
2

Pretending to be aloof is a bandaid that comes with its own set of problems. Ask yourself, why are you coming on so strong? Is it because you're not dating enough, so every halfway decent date seems like a desert oasis? She's gonna pick up on that and have a different view of that glass of water y'all shared. It was cool and refreshing, but hardly extraordinary to her. She can refill that glass from the tap anytime she wants, after all. You can try to fake having the same abundance mentality tha…
/r/seduction25/04/22 03:28 AM
2

Your only real mistake is that you kept assuming the worst and trying to "fix" whatever you said last. Just... Don't do that. Even if you did come on to strong or this or that, preemptively apologizing for a minor calibration problem isn't likely to make things any better. In this case, you miscalibrated the miscalibration apology... several times. It was a downward spiral of miscalibration. 😆 Work on just letting things... be. You said what you said and she'll react how she reacts and until the…
/r/seduction25/04/22 03:18 AM
2

I generally expect to kiss on a first date. Not a big make out session, just enough to clearly break the friend barrier and sample her kissing style. The hot and heavy shit, yeah, save that for foreplay.
/r/seduction25/04/22 03:07 AM
31

If you don't date much and don't even talk about dating much, it was probably more of a conversation starter than a serious suggestion. Your parents know there isn't much they can do to help you with your dating life, but they love you and want you to know they're rooting for you in your quest for pussy.
/r/seduction25/04/22 03:04 AM
2

I never have enough fruit in the house, but there's always a stack of foreplay vouchers that are free for the taking. 😁
/r/seduction24/04/22 07:04 PM
3

Don't be surprised if she backs away... and then comes back to you. Happens to me a lot. Heartbreak comes from disappointment, so honesty can be a form of safety since she'll know what she can expect from you.
/r/seduction24/04/22 05:51 PM
22

No, I'm ridiculously honest about my dating status and intentions. I don't EVER want anyone leaving my bed with regrets. I miss out on some sex occasionally, but I sleep guilt-free and I still get plenty of action.
/r/seduction24/04/22 05:45 PM
0

that's why you have to burn all the bridges on first date to see if you can get laid with her or no . Holy shit, dude. I hope I never come across the trail of wreckage you're leaving behind.
/r/seduction24/04/22 10:50 AM
1

Why not a compliment?
/r/seduction24/04/22 03:59 AM
1

Probably because she doesn't want to hang out again soon. But there's no point in sitting around wondering about. Figure out the next good opportunity for you and invite her out. Then you'll have a clear answer.
/r/seduction24/04/22 03:44 AM
3

There are plenty of 5'2" men that have better dating lives than you, so fuck off with the height nonsense. On the rest of the stuff, yeah, you might have some work to do to improve your physique, style, charm, etc. before you'll see a lot of results. The point is that women want to meet a quality man. You could be that man... if you stop making excuses and get to work.
/r/seduction24/04/22 03:14 AM
3

They dont want to be bothered by a random guy Again, if you're just going to be a bother to them, you're right... They don't want to be bothered. Now, imagine a single woman is out doing whatever mundane thing she has to do that day. Then she meets a handsome, charming man that wants to go out with her sometime. Do you think she'll view that as a "bother"?
/r/seduction24/04/22 03:08 AM
1

I'm sure you can think of at least a few people who would welcome an interruption from you, even when they are running errands. And even still, there are plenty of other ways to meet people. You don't have to interrupt errand-runners if you don't want to.
/r/seduction24/04/22 02:54 AM
5

If you're just going to bother them... none. Is that all you are to people? A bother?
/r/seduction24/04/22 01:59 AM
3

There are a million different ways, but they all boil down to walking up to a woman and saying some words.
/r/seduction24/04/22 01:30 AM
1

Meet more women.
/r/seduction24/04/22 12:49 AM
5

I think the mechanics of Mystery Method are good to help clueless rookies gain a rough understanding of the process. From there, it's all about inner game and becoming comfortable with who you are and what you're bringing to the table. Lots of good voices in that area. But don't waste any time idolizing celebrities. They really don't matter. Your success depends entirely upon how often you put your phone down and gain real world experience.
/r/seduction23/04/22 12:32 PM
1

I am aware of tactic “don’t chase, attract” Does that mean you expect the women to all come to you? That's not how it works. "To chase" means to follow after someone who is running away. Don't do that. But you do have to "approach" the ones that are milling around you if you ever want to date anyone. There are very, very few women who will initiate anything.
/r/seduction23/04/22 12:16 PM
3

Right, but until then, you have no opinions of each other. That means there are billions of women who won't ever know anything about Past You. You are free to mold yourself into whatever Future You that you want and that is the You that future women will meet and have first impressions about.
/r/seduction23/04/22 03:02 AM
3

everyone has conceived notions of everyone else ☝️ That was you, right? What's your opinion of Tracey? It's ok to admit that you don't have an opinion of Tracey. She doesn't have an opinion about you either.
/r/seduction23/04/22 02:53 AM
1

Really? What's your opinion of my friend Tracey? Do you think she'd make a good partner for you?
/r/seduction23/04/22 02:33 AM
12

It's very hard to change someone's mind, but most people are blank slates. They don't have opinions about you yet. As you meet more people and your social skills improve, some of them will like what they see in you.
/r/seduction23/04/22 01:57 AM
4

That's like skipping class all month and then trying to cram the night before the final. Of course it sucks. When you get your dating life up a healthy level, you'll have your Friday planned several days in advance and you'll both be looking forward to it. In the meantime, quit wasting your energy hoping for last-minute miracles and start beefing up your process.
/r/seduction22/04/22 12:53 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/wiki/index/
/r/seduction22/04/22 04:39 AM
1

"Let them come to you" is a fool's game. You gotta approach if you want to get anywhere. There's nothing wrong with chatting with anybody. Just be sure to find out her age before going any further. You probably wouldn't be asking this question if you already had a healthy dating life, so make sure you're focusing on the big picture. Do everything you can to gain as much experience as you can, in a variety of environments. There are no quick fixes.
/r/seduction21/04/22 09:12 PM
3

Nope, the only questions that matter are "Do you want to hang out sometime?" And "what's your number/snap/insta?" Everything else is just filler. Whatever else you say will be fine. Your only goal here is to overcome your anxiety and say something.
/r/seduction21/04/22 05:29 PM
5

Approach. Flirt. Ask her out. Escalate kino. If you're not sure how to do those things, read the wiki. More importantly, you need to take a wide view and talk to a lot of women so that this stuff becomes second nature. Focus on the process, instead of any one person.
/r/seduction21/04/22 05:09 PM
1

Are you doing what you want to do? Or are you doing things to try to win her attention?
/r/seduction21/04/22 11:19 AM
1

There are literally thousands of creepy white men that go to Asian countries to find wives that they bring in the US We already covered that. Anyways, I've humored your stereotypes long enough. It's clear that you're dead set on maintaining a long list of limiting beliefs. Have fun with that.
/r/seduction20/04/22 07:12 PM
2

So now you're saying that a guy who's too anxious to start a conversation with a neighbor should go live in an African village? And he'll immediately be welcomed as a valuable member of the community even though he doesn't speak the language or have any of the locally relevant skills? I'm all for different cultures, especially those that value the simple life, but this conversation has gone from "misguided" to "absurd". Wherever OP goes, he's going to need social skills. And if he takes the time…
/r/seduction20/04/22 06:23 PM
3

You think money is less important to people who are struggling to meet their basic needs? I don't think you'll find much research to support that theory.
/r/seduction20/04/22 05:43 PM
3

Yes, you're right that you can buy your way into the pants of poor women. I thought we were talking about attracting women who might actually like us for who we are. Silly me.
/r/seduction20/04/22 05:25 PM
1

Yes, i understood your claims the first time. Since we're repeating ourselves, I'll say again... if you truly wish to "not take any risk", I highly suggest you learn how to recognize and assess character traits firsthand instead of basing your decision on such a crude indicator.
/r/seduction20/04/22 04:33 PM
0

Society tells women that they're not supposed to have sex, so they are pressured to hide their activities. Society tells men that they are supposed to have sex, so they are pressured to exaggerate their activities.
/r/seduction20/04/22 04:18 PM
1

If there's any connection at all between those things and number of sexual partners, it's very small. You'll be much, much better off if you learn to recognize and assess character traits through firsthand interactions instead of trying to deduce it all from a highly stigmatized number.
/r/seduction20/04/22 04:14 PM
1

Why? Are you trying to decide if she's a bad person? I think it would be better to form an opinion of her based on your own interactions with her rather than trying to judge her against some sort of societal standard.
/r/seduction20/04/22 04:03 PM
5

There's a window of opportunity during adolescence when most people learn the basic social skills of romance. It's awkward af but everybody is awkward during those years and the hormones are raging, so most push right through it without even realizing how many skills they're learning. Some of us... miss out on the opportunity. We wake up one day realizing that we don't know how to date yet. We could blindly push through it just like they did, but that's a hell of a lot harder to do when you're t…
/r/seduction20/04/22 12:04 PM
2

I'm pretty sure the desires will come back eventually. For now, don't worry about that. Just push through the discomfort and go socialize.
/r/seduction19/04/22 09:54 PM
2

He's using a language learning app, not a dating app. It's not worth a damn as far as gauging in-country results, especially since his sample size is minuscule.
/r/seduction19/04/22 08:48 PM
2

Dude, he's a rookie that thinks a couple flirtations on an international app is a sign that his dating life would transform overseas. It's a ridiculous and expensive notion. If you seriously think it's a good idea, i hope you'll be there to help him pick up the pieces when it blows up in his face. P.S. No, I'm not "greater" than anyone here. I'm just older. My "desperate for a quick fix" phase was twenty years ago. I tried allllll sorts of stupid shit. The only thing that worked was accumulating…
/r/seduction19/04/22 08:13 PM
2

If someone has a healthy dating life and decides they want to relocate to a place that suits them better... Cool, godspeed, young man! But rookies thinking their crippling approach anxiety will go away when they move to ______ is nonsense that nobody here should support. Personal development requires work, not a change of address.
/r/seduction19/04/22 05:30 PM
26

Your insecurities and poor social skills will be with you wherever you go. So... maybe you should work on that instead of looking for a magical land of easy pussy.
/r/seduction19/04/22 04:39 PM
105

a known whore There's nothing wrong with her liking to fuck, so stop being mean to her. There's nothing wrong with you deciding to fuck her, so stop being mean to yourself. And anybody that looks down on either of you, can go fuck themselves.
/r/seduction19/04/22 02:39 PM
2

Who cares what she thinks? You are in charge of your own life. If you decide you want to make a move, make a move. If you don't, don't.
/r/seduction19/04/22 02:08 PM
3

Time doesn't heal wounds. Living heals wounds. If you're spending your free time wrapped up in the memories of yesterday, you're never going to be ready for tomorrow. At some point, you just have to start inching out there. Nothing fancy. Nothing serious. No expectations. Just... go have a drink with someone. Then go have a drink with someone else a week later. Eventually, things will start to happen for ya.
/r/seduction19/04/22 11:34 AM
123

I am proud for doing those 2 approaches As you should be! but I know deep inside that I could be doing so much better So next time, don't go home until you've approached 3! Keep your expectations realistic and focus on making relentless progress. One step at a time.
/r/seduction18/04/22 09:49 PM
1

Ok, but at some point in your adult life, you're going to end up redefining your relationship with your parents. The sooner you start establishing boundaries with them, the less tiptoeing around you'll have to do.
/r/seduction18/04/22 09:44 PM
0

I also believe that my family shouldn’t meet my partner until im sure they’re going to be in my life for a long time. Why? That sounds like an unnecessarily limiting policy.
/r/seduction18/04/22 09:11 PM
8

It'll make more sense if you think of it in terms of compatibility instead of game-playing. Some people like to have details planned out ahead ahead of time. They'll want more communication early on. Others are more spontaneous. They'll want to leave everything vague until the last minute. Some people have busy lives and will be irritated by text conversations. Others are bored and want to text all day. You can try to conform to someone else's style if you want, but i don't recommend it. Better …
/r/seduction18/04/22 08:46 PM
2

How's your dating life in general? Are you comfortable approaching, flirting, and dating? If not, no amount of money spent on hair will remove the hurdles you face. It takes a lot of emotional work to build social skills and there's really no shortcut. Don't write a giant check to some doctor thinking a little hair will magically change everything. Lots of hairy dudes in this sub that are lonely af.
/r/seduction18/04/22 07:20 PM
3

Don't worry about stereotypes. Focus on becoming your best self and you will have no trouble finding a woman who wants what you're selling.
/r/seduction18/04/22 03:33 PM
2

There are a million possible reasons. At the risk of being rude, the real issue here is that you've spent hours/days trying to analyzing something incredibly trivial. That's a good sign that you don't have enough going on in your life. Your focus should be on building up your social life to the point where you too busy to care about minutiae.
/r/seduction18/04/22 01:21 PM
8

Careful with all the name-calling. Harshly judging people that you barely know puts you in a not-very-zen headspace. It won't help your game any.
/r/seduction15/04/22 10:52 PM
64

You get picky about who you're willing devote your life to. She looks good, she makes my heart flutter and she seems to like me? Cool, but that's just the start of the conversation. There are still a million other compatibility things we gotta test and it's gonna take a couple years to figure out if we really have long-term potential. When you keep everything in perspective like that, it's much easier to treat woman as an equal that you're curious about rather than a prize you need to win.
/r/seduction15/04/22 10:02 PM
343

The ones who laugh at people that they think are beneath them? I have no interest in being with such a woman. The ones that just weren't attracted to me because I didn't have my shit together? No hard feelings there. It's not like it was their job to fix me.
/r/seduction15/04/22 06:49 PM
2

Most of what we do here is teach men to stop being afraid of initiating. It's rare for women to initiate, so if the guys don't learn to do it, they're gonna be forever alone. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with women initiating! I think it's becoming more common and it's always great to see someone brave enough to go after what they want!
/r/seduction15/04/22 04:49 PM
2

Yup, shame is the devil that causes most of the world's problems. I highly recommend reading Brene Brown for more info on recognizing and fighting shame.
/r/seduction15/04/22 04:28 PM
3

Texting doesn't matter. Met up with her. Flirt. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction15/04/22 12:54 PM
1

Early on, i mostly just do by implying that the normal progression is going to happen. When we're first talking, I'm speaking as if we both know a date might happen. On the date, I'm speaking as if we both know a kiss might happen. After kissing, I'm speaking as if we both know more might happen... In other words, you just kinda be open and shameless about what you'd like to happen next. You don't even really need to say it out loud most of the time. You just sorta stop hiding it. You stop being…
/r/seduction15/04/22 03:22 AM
2

In any big endeavor, there's usually a point midway where your initial enthusiasm has worn out and you start to doubt whether you'll ever achieve your goal. Seth Godin calls this The Dip. Confidence can get really low in the dip. When you're in the dip, you have to decide if your original goal is really achievable. In this case, it definitely is. After all, every single one of your forefathers managed to get his dick wet, right? There's no reason to think you won't too. Since you know your goal …
/r/seduction14/04/22 05:15 PM
1

Cool, i understand you and I disagree with most of what you're saying. My dating life has gotten much better since I stopped hiding myself. Maybe I've just been very lucky. 🤷‍♂️
/r/seduction14/04/22 03:38 PM
1

Your entire side of this Convo has been you arrogantly assuming that I don't already understand your idea. You believe that women are fundamentally attracted to men who adopt strong, stoic personas. You believe my dating life will improve if I adopt such a persona. Did I miss anything?
/r/seduction14/04/22 03:11 PM
1

Dude, I'm literally just trying to explain that your bro-science is meaningless on a planet with 7 billion people. Even if we assume you're the world's foremost expert in psychology, biology, and sociology* and everything you say is true, there are still a shitload of freaky little exceptions to your claims. I'll date them. * We both know you're not.
/r/seduction14/04/22 02:22 PM
5

Why would they care? Adults have dates. Adults have sex. Everything you want to do is perfectly normal. You don't have to keep it a secret.
/r/seduction14/04/22 11:59 AM
1

I'm of the mind that we deserve and should expect a proportionate amount of space in all of our social bonds. There's no reason we should have to hide our true selves from women.
/r/seduction13/04/22 10:42 PM
0

You're making a lot of bad assumptions about what it means to be even-keeled. The most stable people I know are the ones that are in touch with their emotions on a regular basis. The shit shows tend to come from people who repress their emotions until they day comes that they can't take it anymore and erupt all over the place. Regardless, generalities and stereotypes only matter if you're trying to appease the mass market and sell a billion cheeseburgers. There's only one of me and I don't have …
/r/seduction13/04/22 10:39 PM
13

Every man who has ever gotten his dick wet at any point in the history of the world... has had vulnerabilities, insecurities, and weaknesses. Anybody pretending otherwise is just lying to themselves. What we're talking about here is whether or not he acknowledges and shares his real self with the people closest to him. Nobody wants a sloppy, out of control mess, but a man who can confidently own and stick up for his whole self... including his emotions and imperfections... That guy will always b…
/r/seduction13/04/22 08:50 PM
0

I don't worry too much about labels. I just put myself out there and pay attention to those that match my energy.
/r/seduction13/04/22 07:37 PM
1

Squashing half of my personality to fit into an outdated societal role is a kind of hell that I want nothing to do with. There are billions of women out there and many of them are pretty independent, especially at my age. I'm perfectly comfortable waiting for someone who likes the person I am and the person I'm trying to become.
/r/seduction13/04/22 07:24 PM
38

they no longer see you as a provider/protector. That's one of the reasons I have no interest in dating anyone that's looking for someone to play provider/protector role. That's just not me. I'm a human with strengths and weaknesses, emotions and desires, goals and vices. I want to be with a woman who wants that kind of partner cuz that's the only way I can be me.
/r/seduction13/04/22 04:51 PM
111

OP, notice how often men use terms like "weakness" and "beaten down" in regards to showing emotion. That should tell you a lot about how little space we are given to show emotions in this society. Emotions are a normal part of life, but we're taught to hide them from an early age. This definitely needs to change. I'm glad you're in the right side of the battle!
/r/seduction13/04/22 04:46 PM
1

It's anybody's guess how she might react. But ask yourself... Why are you leaning towards a surprise that she might not appreciate? Is it because that seems "safer" than asking her out? A strong person would accept the emotional risk instead of blindly intruding where they might not be wanted.
/r/seduction13/04/22 03:47 PM
2

There are two kinds of "trying". One is good, one is bad. DO: try to put yourself in social situations and expand your social skills. Do NOT: try to win the approval of any particular person. No matter how good you get, you'll click with some people and repel others. Focus on the ones that like you as you are.
/r/seduction13/04/22 03:40 PM
13

Don't take it personally, literally most of Western society is overweight, including many of the guys trashing you in this thread. So yeah, work on the weight, but do it because your doctor told you to, not because some guys said so. Same with insecurities. The emotional health of Western society is as bad as our physical health. So if there's work to be done there, don't feel bad cuz you're definitely not alone. This sub is literally full of guys that are working through emotional issues. Just …
/r/seduction13/04/22 01:24 PM
1

Man has never been a solitary creature. Getting along with others has always been part of our strength.
/r/seduction13/04/22 11:59 AM
3

Fair enough. Those are good things to think through. Just make sure that whatever you decide to do, you're doing it for your own reasons, not because of the peer pressure.
/r/seduction13/04/22 03:26 AM
0

Because you don't think she's a good match for you personality-wise? Or because she's fat?
/r/seduction13/04/22 03:13 AM
26

This is part of what people are talking about when they mention "toxic masculinity". The guys don't even realize what they're doing, but basically they've decided that she is unworthy of a "real man" and they're bullying you for daring to have your own opinion. I wish I could give you a way to defeat it, but it's a super common thing, so it's not going away any time soon. All you can really do is take it as a learning experience on how to hold your ground in the face of peer pressure. Just try t…
/r/seduction13/04/22 01:26 AM
2

Exactly. You can buy attention, but that doesn't usually get you very far. Attraction is what you need and that takes skills.
/r/seduction12/04/22 10:12 PM
8

Sure, it opens some doors, but you still have to have the skills to walk through them. The approach is only the first step in the seduction process, after all. Rookies who think they can avoid confronting their fears by flying overseas are in for a major disappointment. Their fears will follow them wherever they go.
/r/seduction12/04/22 09:12 PM
7

Doesn't matter how attractive you are if you're too afraid to approach and escalate and all of the other necessary skills. And if you can do those things... You don't really need to fly halfway around the world.
/r/seduction12/04/22 08:34 PM
39

If you don't know how to talk to women in English, your social life isn't going to magically improve overseas... unless you want to be used for money. Probably better to just focus on improving your skills.
/r/seduction12/04/22 08:15 PM
5

ITT: Guys who think bitterness and sexism is an essential part of the game.
/r/seduction12/04/22 05:35 PM
7

Fact: Most of these are pointless stereotypes Quit worrying about generalities and focus on the things you can actually control: Approach, flirt, and escalate.
/r/seduction12/04/22 03:00 PM
3

Learning is part of the fun! No matter what you hear in the locker room or on porn, nobody is born knowing this stuff. Even women have to take the time to learn their own anatomy! Ask questions and follow any guidance she gives. You'll figure it all out in time. P.S. Many of the details are different from woman to woman, so this isn't just a rookie thing. Communication is always a big part of sex.
/r/seduction12/04/22 01:18 PM
1

I've already pointed you in the right direction a hundred times. It's up to you to start walking. I'm done holding your hand. Good luck, i hope you find your way.
/r/seduction12/04/22 04:25 AM
1

Of course luck is involved. There's no magic formula to pick up every girl you meet. And even Steph Curry misses most of the shots he takes. Also, there are useful skills you could learn if you ever decide to stop howling at the moon. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. It's fucking hard. But it is learnable. If you decide to put in the work.
/r/seduction12/04/22 04:09 AM
1

At some point, you might discover that those female bodies also have personalities, which can be pretty cool. Also, most people are average, so why would you assume that average is somehow beneath you?
/r/seduction12/04/22 03:32 AM
5

You won't get anywhere by judging people from afar. You don't know enough about them and the situation to be very accurate and they don't care about your opinion anyways. Put your energy towards your own goals.
/r/seduction11/04/22 08:11 PM
1

Well, stop doing that. When you go out on a first date, the chances of you some day marrying her are like 0.0001% and the chances of you staying married to her are even smaller. Failure is the norm in dating.
/r/seduction11/04/22 07:47 PM
2

Why do you assume that you did something wrong? There's a million reasons why things fizzle out and it's usually nobody's "fault". Compatibility is hard.
/r/seduction11/04/22 07:26 PM
4

As a concept, "virginity" is meaningless bullshit from a bygone era. Don't waste one second worrying about any ideas about purity or whatever. As a practical matter, there are many, many reasons that you might choose to wait awhile before having sex. Talk it over with some people that you trust and respect.
/r/seduction11/04/22 12:17 AM
1

Cool story, bro. Do whatever you want. Also, your posting history is a trainwreck. Put your phone down and spend some time living in the real world.
/r/seduction09/04/22 04:33 PM
92

There's nothing wrong with having a little quiet downtime. The point is to find a balance that achieves your long-term goals without burning yourself out. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
/r/seduction09/04/22 03:32 PM
4

Not projects, not texts. Conversations. With people. In real life.
/r/seduction09/04/22 03:25 PM
11

Second-guessing yourself is very normal. The bigger problem is that you apparently have time to sit around second-guessing yourself all day. Expand your social life so that you're talking to people so often that you don't have time to worry about every little slip up.
/r/seduction09/04/22 03:08 PM
1

I wouldn't think of it in terms of complacency. You should never take a lived one for granted, after all. That's nothing new It's more that you should recognize that it takes quite awhile to accurately assess long-term compatibility. There are always so many things that don't come up until after you get through the honeymoon period. You have to keep a discerning eye open for a few years of you truly want to know what that forty year marriage is going to look like.
/r/seduction09/04/22 02:03 PM
3

Sure, it could be. Or not. Indicators aren't usually clearcut. To have a healthy dating life, you need to learn how to take emotional risks. If you're fantasizing about this woman, ask her out. Then you'll know for sure.
/r/seduction09/04/22 01:51 PM
2

if I say it’s because she’s been pulling away I sound like a simp? Just... Stop thinking in those terms. "Simp", "beta", etc... There's a lot of toxicity tied up in terms like that. Being an adult can be boiled down to one simple concept: you get to decide your life path and you don't have to apologize to anyone for what you choose. With that in mind, do you think you should be ashamed of your decision to distance yourself from her? Of course not. Would it be polite to respond to her request for…
/r/seduction08/04/22 10:25 PM
2

Everything you're describing is all a pretty normal part of dating... except the suicidal thoughts. Please reach out to someone you trust about that. That is NOT a battle you want to fight alone. We can help you with the rest of it when you're ready to venture back into the dating pool.
/r/seduction08/04/22 03:27 PM
2

You don't owe her any sort of big response, but there's no reason to be rude. Tell her it was nice meeting her too and wish her well.
/r/seduction08/04/22 12:36 PM
1

Don't read too much into that. Adults talk about sex. Next time flirt and escalate kino more and then you'll find out whether she's talking about sex with you.
/r/seduction08/04/22 12:34 PM
3

Your bitterness is showing. There's no reason we can't accept rejections with good manners.
/r/seduction08/04/22 12:32 PM
1

Was the first date pretty physical and suggestive? If not, talking about the hot tub was overly aggressive. Most women are careful about expectations early on. She might fuck you on the second date, but she probably doesn't want it expected. And hot tubs have a way of creating that expectation. Also, it's not unusual for things to flame out after a first date. She probably would have declined no matter what activities you suggested. That's just how it goes most of the time. On to the next one!
/r/seduction08/04/22 12:19 PM
9

The cup I'm going tospend my life with? That thing better be 90% full.
/r/seduction08/04/22 11:24 AM
1

They're all made up labels, so feel free to use whatever you'd like. The important thing is that you know what you're looking for.
/r/seduction07/04/22 04:10 PM
3

Well, that's the problem with "just relax" advice. Nobody is ever relaxed during a new experience. You will be excited and jittery and butterflies whenever you're outside your comfort zone. And then after you've done it a bunch of times, you will be much calmer. So instead of trying to force a particular emotional state, just learn to recognize them and appreciate them for what they are. "Holy shit, I'm so nervous right now! That means this is a big growth opportunity. Time to push through it an…
/r/seduction07/04/22 04:03 PM
20

There's a huge difference between a self sabotaging "Everything always fails" and a realistic "Most things fail". I'm a big fan of Steven Covey's "win/win or no deal" philosophy. When it comes to friendships and acquaintances, "win/win" is easy to find, so it's easy to create a broad social circle. But when it comes to sharing a life with someone, win/win is very fucking hard to find if either of them want anything out of life aside from the bare minimum. You can't just match up any two good peo…
/r/seduction07/04/22 03:43 PM
1

I don't share your views on gender, but fortunately we don't need to. You can date the traditional women and I'll date the modern ones. Everybody wins! 🥳 And I'm glad you understand the importance of compatibility!
/r/seduction07/04/22 03:31 PM
17

and now I’m dead inside Try not to think in such absolute terms. Yeah, you're struggling... But i bet you were struggling before her too. You were probably struggling with loneliness, which is why you over-invested as soon as you got a taste of honey. Loneliness and heartbreak are really two sides of the same coin. As difficult as things seem at times, try to focus on the fact that you're gaining experience which will snowball in the right direction if you keep working at it.
/r/seduction07/04/22 03:09 PM
2

Well... I guess you can marry the first effeminate woman that gives you the time of day and let us all know how that goes. As for me, I'll keep looking for women who mesh with my personality and share my life goals.
/r/seduction07/04/22 03:03 PM
181

Even if you're in a relationship, there needs to be some detachment from the future. You should absolutely take your relationships seriously and open your heart to your partners, but even half of all marriages fail, so that girl that seems perfect after six months... is still gonna end up as a breakup 80% of the time. So yeah, that girl you haven't even kissed yet? 99% chance you won't be living happily ever after with her. Compatibility is hard. Keeping things in perspective will help you manag…
/r/seduction07/04/22 01:37 PM
7

Focus on other things/people in the meantime. This part can't be emphasized enough. You CANNOT spend the next few days obsessing over a first date. You will quickly have her up on a pedestal so high that you're gonna break your neck looking up at it. Remind yourself that even good first dates fizzle out very often. Time spent fantasizing about the possibilities is always wasted. Focus on maximizing your real day.
/r/seduction07/04/22 01:20 PM
2

Right on. My experience was fairly similar. You'll need to put a lot of effort into building your social life and not just on weekends, not just women. Join some service clubs, volunteer places, join bowling teams. Whatever you can do to surround yourself with people outside of work. It'll be a multi-year process, so don't judge your progress purely by women.
/r/seduction07/04/22 12:02 PM
2

Every community has varying level of quality. Make good use of your upvotes to nudge things in the right direction.
/r/seduction06/04/22 07:24 PM
9

For guys that missed the chance to learn this stuff naturally, it takes big doses of community and practice to get a good feedback loop going.
/r/seduction06/04/22 05:29 PM
2

That's ok, you'll drive yourself crazy if you try to hyper-analyze every approach. Mostly just look for patterns and ask for help anytime you feel like you're not progressing.
/r/seduction06/04/22 05:13 PM
5

Your communication skills won't develop unless you talk to people. Your lifestyle sounds pretty quiet. Start doing things that give you regular opportunities for conversations. I'm guessing this is a problem that's been brewing for many years. It won't be fixed overnight.
/r/seduction06/04/22 04:58 PM
33

I think the best advice to give inexperienced men is to get experience "reading the room." If rookies were capable of that, they wouldn't be struggling so much. They need to learn how to read the room, which involves countless little tidbits like the couple you mention at the end. It takes a lot of reading and a lot of practice to find that happy medium between blind pawing and unnecessary requests for consent. You can sum it all up as "reading the room" but that doesn't make it any easier for t…
/r/seduction06/04/22 04:51 PM
1

The way you told me to learn is "throw random shit at the wall and be told obvious stuff in hindsight." No, I've been telling you to stop arguing with the people who are trying to coach you. Coachability seems to be your biggest sticking point so far. You steadfastly refuse to share any of the information we would need to diagnose the problem any further. Saying "I can't hit the baseball" isn't enough information for a hitting coach to help you. You might be dropping your shoulder or swinging to…
/r/seduction06/04/22 04:34 PM
2

I'm confident in my abilities but I have got social anxiety for some reason We're talking about confidence in your social abilities. That is what you need to gain.
/r/seduction06/04/22 02:07 PM
24

If you choose to, yeah. If you make a point to put in the work and broaden your social life, no. After all, you don't need to sleep with 70 women. Depending on your priorities, you can probably find one that's decent enough after only sleeping with 5-10. Some of us are really picky about compatibility, but you can probably find a happy medium that works for you.
/r/seduction06/04/22 02:04 PM
3

Ya gotta figure out what's going wrong. Post field reports to get feedback on possible sticking points.
/r/seduction06/04/22 01:31 PM
30

Nothing wrong with a little reminiscing. We all grapple with disappointment at times. But yeah... The future is forward. Here's to the next dance! 🍻
/r/seduction06/04/22 12:47 PM
28

Approach more. Once you get your dating life up to a healthy level, you will have to start making tough decisions about who is a good match for you.
/r/seduction06/04/22 10:25 AM
120

Why's that so hard to believe? It's not like anybody is writing thousands of love poems and buying truckloads of long stem roses. Most of the approaches are completely forgettable conversations that quickly go nowhere. It's the IRL version of swiping right on 50 profiles and matching with 1. You don't even remember the 49 busts. They don't matter. That's how you can tell that anyone in here obsessing over a "maybe" or an "almost" is a rookie. They haven't yet put themselves out there enough to r…
/r/seduction06/04/22 10:21 AM
2

Practice is certainly a crucial part of the process, but entire books have been written on each of those subjects. Sharing those details is how we help rookies build some confidence and gain momentum.
/r/seduction05/04/22 11:33 PM
2

Thank you for proving my point about taking details for granted and spitting out meaningless cliches.
/r/seduction05/04/22 10:25 PM
3

For sure. But dudes to it too, especially those that are "naturally" good with women. Their advice is often shit because they don't actually understand the nuts and bolts of what they do.
/r/seduction05/04/22 10:23 PM
3

Persistence can pay off occasionally, but overall it's a losing strategy. Imagine a basketball team taking shots from half court all the time. They'll make a few and they might even win a game every now and then, but they ain't gonna have a winning record. Besides do you even want to be with someone that needed to be persuaded to talk to you?
/r/seduction05/04/22 08:25 PM
10

Women People are so bad at dating advice… FTFY. It's not just women. Most people suck at teaching social skills because they learned them through youthful trial and error. They never really stopped to analyze the countless little things they do right, so they suck at sharing those lessons. They just take the little things for granted and spit out meaningless cliches.
/r/seduction05/04/22 06:14 PM
9

He's saying he outlined a plan and that's when she didn't respond. You seem pretty hostile this morning. Maybe step away for a bit and catch your breath.
/r/seduction05/04/22 02:11 PM
18

Standard technique that's been in the community forever. Be sure to pass it down to the next batch of rookies when the time comes.
/r/seduction05/04/22 01:20 PM
37

She said yes to getting together on a specific day at a specific time, right? That's a date and it's far more important than any text chatting that you want to do. You'll chat plenty on the date. To confirm in a confident manner, send her a text 12-24 hours before the date telling her the parts of the plan that she'll need to know in order to be prepared. Example: "I'll pick you up at your place. 123 Main St, right? We'll be outside some, so dress comfortably." It assumes everything is still on,…
/r/seduction05/04/22 12:57 PM
0

I agree that there are some casual phrases that nobody would ever object to. "Out with the boys/girls" is one of them. The context is that OP approached a stranger and unnecessarily addressed her using a term that literally refers to her as a child. The word "woman" works perfectly fine once you break your own awkward habit of avoiding it, but really you could just not use either one. There's really no reason for you to refer to her in the third person when you're talking directly to her.
/r/seduction04/04/22 11:02 PM
3

You're absolutely right. Also, those aren't the only two options.
/r/seduction04/04/22 07:26 PM
2

When they're working, they're literally being paid to be nice to you, so there's no way to tell how they really feel about your approach.
/r/seduction04/04/22 06:29 PM
2

Congrats on overcoming your approach anxiety! That's an important muscle to build. Keep it up! As a general rule of thumb, you don't want to spend much time on women that are working. They have financial and safety concerns that they have to protect, so you're not going to get genuine feedback from them. White lies, fake laughs, etc. The best practice comes from talking to women that are talking to you out of their own free will.
/r/seduction04/04/22 05:59 PM
4

True, if you think a woman asking to be referred to as an adult is "uptight", it's going to be a short conversation no matter what you say. For those of us that actually like women, though, maybe at least try to read her body language before mocking her simple request. This isn't the kind of thing women usually go around joking about, after all.
/r/seduction04/04/22 03:27 PM
7

I agree that she was not into him. Also, she didn't like being called "girl". Lots of women don't
/r/seduction04/04/22 03:18 PM
12

The woman v girl comment was probably a shit test. Please don't go through life thinking that every opinion you disagree with is a shit test. Sometimes women really do have opinions, bro.
/r/seduction04/04/22 02:27 PM
26

They seem not to believe you when you call them beautiful You shouldn't be trying to lead with generic physical compliments anyways. It's about as meaningful as telling a tall guy that he's tall. He doesn't give a shit. Adults like compliments about the things they do, not their genetics. If you're going to compliment, make it something about her style, personality, activities, etc. I called a woman “girl” and she corrected me This is an equality thing. You wouldn't enjoy being called a "boy", w…
/r/seduction04/04/22 01:52 PM
2

Eye contact is a good thing. Smile and say hi.
/r/seduction04/04/22 12:27 PM
1

Because a breakup can't be like that. Sure it can. There are a million different ways for breakups to look. Breaking up with you clearly wasn't an easy thing for her. And still she did it. She must have thought long and hard about it before doing such a difficult thing. You don't get to override her decision. You can wait around for her to change her mind if you want, but i don't recommend it. Definitely do not start hitting her up, looking for answers. She already gave you far more closure than…
/r/seduction04/04/22 11:27 AM
1

There are many things that you can't learn from instructions alone. You could watch every video on YouTube a hundred times and you're still not likely to hit a baseball at 50 mph on your first attempt. You're definitely not hitting the 90 mph fastball. You're not beating a grandmaster in chess either. Pretty much any skill that involves interacting with another human is going to require improvisation, which you aren't going to learn from step by step instructions. That comes from experience. Pra…
/r/seduction04/04/22 03:10 AM
1

Yup. Study, attempt, reflect, repeat. It's pretty much the only way to gain any skill. If you're looking for a different formula, you're probably going waste your life in vain.
/r/seduction03/04/22 02:01 PM
1

Nothing in life is guaranteed. There are plenty of useful patterns that people constantly explain to you. They're never specific enough or certain enough to meet your standards.
/r/seduction03/04/22 04:33 AM
1

Failure is part of the process, man. Surely you've noticed that by now. You've already failed a bunch, right? Hopefully you're learning from those failures and getting a little smarter each time. If you're not learning from each attempt, you should be looking for ways to improve your process so that you do.
/r/seduction02/04/22 09:14 PM
1

Don't get bogged down in those condescending theories. There are plenty of men who suck at picking partners too. It's a skill, like anything else. Focus on improving your skills and you'll become more attractive to those that share your desire for a high-quality long-term relationship.
/r/seduction02/04/22 12:48 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t67hv6/comment/hza0sow/
/r/seduction02/04/22 12:41 PM
2

Think of it like a drug. In small doses, it's harmless, maybe even a good thing. In large doses, it causes major problems. The women that have issues... chase after the high, not quite able to realize the price they are paying for it. The women that have their shit together... they know that sobreity is what they want long-term.
/r/seduction02/04/22 05:23 AM
1

Maybe you won't understand until after you try it. What do you have to lose? Your current path clearly isn't working.
/r/seduction02/04/22 04:43 AM
1

Cute. I guess you "win". Probably won't help your dating life any, though. Let me know if that ever becomes your priority.
/r/seduction02/04/22 02:41 AM
1

Perhaps you're wrong. Maybe it'll go better than you think. If you ever get tired of doing it your way, i hope you'll consider listening to the advice you get.
/r/seduction01/04/22 01:14 PM
6

We refer to them as Indicators of Interest. I'm sure you can search for IOI and find lots of examples. But mostly... You have to stop looking for reassurance all the time and become comfortable with taking risks.
/r/seduction31/03/22 07:21 PM
4

I am very nervous I might not be able to meet someone like her Scarcity mindset. There are 3 billion women on this planet. You'll be alright without her.
/r/seduction31/03/22 07:07 PM
5

I don't think I would have gotten a better confirmation by her than this that it's over and i should move on Awesome, now you know. There's nothing worse than sitting around wondering... Always better to shoot your shot and find out, even if the answer isn't the one you hoped for.
/r/seduction31/03/22 06:59 PM
3

Be open and honest about who you are and what you want. Talk to them about who they are and what they want. Listen to their answers. Care. Do that and the rest will follow naturally.
/r/seduction31/03/22 06:48 PM
1

That's true for for guys that have some experience. For rookies, though, they don't even know what a clear signal looks like, so everything short of a hand on their dick seems "mixed".
/r/seduction31/03/22 03:14 PM
2

You can't change the past. You can only decide what you want to do next. It won't be easy, but you can do hard things. 💪
/r/seduction31/03/22 02:02 AM
1

We've all been there. The quicker you recognize it, the quicker you can do something about it.
/r/seduction31/03/22 01:42 AM
5

OP knows it. Everybody knows it. They just hope there's a different answer because this one puts their ego at risk. They're looking for a magic answer that removes the risk. It takes awhile to give up that hope.
/r/seduction30/03/22 11:46 PM
7

There's a simple, foolproof way to find out if a woman is into you: Ask her out
/r/seduction30/03/22 08:54 PM
1

Like I said up front, i aint hear to talk about some celebrities. I don't give a fuck about them. I'm here because of the toxic attitude that's being tossed around here in reaction to them. I'm sure they would consider me, but i don't need a title. I contribute in my own way. Take care.
/r/seduction30/03/22 04:14 PM
0

Tru
/r/seduction30/03/22 04:11 PM
-2

Why do i care? Because this is an important community for a lot of men who are learning how to be men. I'd like it to be full of voices that are teaching instead of hurling cheap insults.
/r/seduction30/03/22 04:08 PM
2

This chat has been very rewarding, but unfortunately, i have to go do anything else now. Good luck to you, dude.
/r/seduction30/03/22 04:02 PM
-5

Are you sure about that? So far it looks like all you've done in this thread is shit on people.
/r/seduction30/03/22 03:59 PM
3

Oh, i thought you were going to fuck my girlfriend? My wife wouldn't be interested. She swings for pussy. P.S. Stop watching so much porn. It's obvious that you don't have the faintest clue about non-monogamy.
/r/seduction30/03/22 03:51 PM
10

Nah, man. Real strength means you don't have to pick on other people to make yourself feel better. When you got your shit together, you can spend your time helping people up instead of kicking down at them. That's the kind of guy you should want to be and that's the kind of woman you should want to attract.
/r/seduction30/03/22 03:43 PM
4

Promises, promises. If had a nickel for every chump that talked tough...
/r/seduction30/03/22 03:39 PM
7

Sweet, make sure you give it to her good! I hate seeing her time wasted by clueless wannabes.
/r/seduction30/03/22 03:30 PM
20

Nah, man, this ain't about them. The Smiths don't give a fuck about the opinions of sedditors. They don't need anyone defending them. This about inner game shit. If your best self is someone who arrogantly judges strangers... You're gonna limit yourself to the kind of women that watch Jerry Springer. Is that really the kind of person you want to be and be with?
/r/seduction30/03/22 03:23 PM
9

Here's a thought... Maybe don't pretend you have all of the answers about people you've never even met? Also, /r/nonmonogamy is a thing. Try not to be so closed-minded.
/r/seduction30/03/22 02:36 PM
1

I definitely don't understand what you're trying to say, but it sure sounds like you're not happy with the results you're getting. That sounds like a hole to me.
/r/seduction29/03/22 07:40 PM
0

Who fucking knows? Those are loaded words that mean different things to different people. What kind of man do you want to be? It's your life, after all.
/r/seduction29/03/22 07:19 PM
1

Why are you bragging about getting flaky numbers? The point is to get dates and shit. Clearly there's a hole in your game. Whatever the problem is, I doubt you need to move to Thailand to fix it.
/r/seduction29/03/22 07:01 PM
36

Here's the truth about height: You can't change it, so you have to learn to work with whatever you got.
/r/seduction29/03/22 04:58 PM
0

The only thing you've embraced about rejection is the way it validates your feelings of victimhood. When you're ready to embrace it as a source of self-improvement, post some field reports and you will start to see the truth in my statement. Until then... Best wishes, bro.
/r/seduction29/03/22 04:00 PM
0

You're the victim once again, eh? Did you post that field report yet? Wake me when you're ready to take this stuff seriously.
/r/seduction29/03/22 03:54 PM
1

If sexism is your thing, have fun with that. We don't need that shit here, though.
/r/seduction29/03/22 03:25 PM
1

I think you're missing how the word "the" works. If I am a king, I am one of many kings. Many will agree. 👏 If I am the king, I am the one and only king. That'll piss people off. 🤬 Likewise with "a prize" and "the prize". That's why you're catching so much flak. You chose a word that added a bunch of baggage to what you were trying to say.
/r/seduction29/03/22 03:09 PM
2

His sexism doesn't justify your sexism. The prize indicates that there's only one prize. That's a bullshit opinion, no matter which gender you're exalting.
/r/seduction29/03/22 02:50 PM
54

You can't be used if you're not useful to them. That's not a recipe for a good LTR, of course, but it's great for weeding out women who would latch onto you for practical reasons. The ones that remain... They're there because they enjoy being around you. That's a great place to start.
/r/seduction29/03/22 02:36 PM
1

Cool, but don't expect too many people to applaud you for a sexist opinion.
/r/seduction29/03/22 02:27 PM
2

You said women are the prize. Surely you can understand the implications of that word choice.
/r/seduction29/03/22 02:18 PM
74

You're right that you shouldn't chase after someone who doesn't want to be with you. You should only want partners that want to be with you. It's a GOOD THING to hold out for a partner that matches you well! Don't on them for doing something that you should be doing too.
/r/seduction29/03/22 01:31 PM
3

Oh please. Y'all spend billions on makeup, clothes, and diet fads... All in the hopes that someone will "pick you". A "prize" wouldn't need to preen like that. We're all kings, we're all queens. We're all awesome and we're all trying to find good partners. There just happen to be cultural variations about how they try.
/r/seduction29/03/22 01:11 PM
3

"And yet it moves"
/r/seduction29/03/22 12:53 PM
10

For the same reason most rookies don't approach: ego protection. Initiating comes with the risk of rejection. Nobody enjoys that, so everybody tries to avoid it. Your dating life will improve substantially if you become one of the few who learns how to embrace it.
/r/seduction29/03/22 12:52 PM
-2

Are seriously trying to say that America is the problem in this story? You're not doing anything wrong? There's nothing you can do to improve your social skills? C'mon man. I know this shit gets frustrating, but you won't get anywhere if you waste your time blaming society.
/r/seduction29/03/22 11:17 AM
5

If you're wearing your life around someone primarily because she has sex with you, that's an unhealthy approach to sex. The opposite is also true. If you're pushing women away primarily because she wants to have sex with you, that's also an unhealthy approach to sex. Ultimately the goal is to find someone you enjoy being with in and out of the bedroom. Along the way, it's perfectly natural to FWB some and LJBF others.
/r/seduction29/03/22 11:13 AM
4

I'm sorry to hear that you've developed an addiction. I hope you get the help you need to kick it. As for your question, no, i have not had the same experience. My relationships have gotten much, much healthier as I've developed my social skills.
/r/seduction29/03/22 10:50 AM
15

The disconnect is usually because they're trying to let you down gently. What you really want to do is find out why you're having trouble generating attraction. Post field reports about your dates and ask for advice on where you could improve.
/r/seduction28/03/22 09:43 PM
4

Abso-fuckin-lutely. It naturally takes time for trust to grow and defenses to lower, but if you ever want to have a deep relationship, you have to let them see what's really happening inside your brain. The ones that see inside and appreciate what they see... Those are the ones you hang onto.
/r/seduction28/03/22 08:19 PM
43

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope for a better past." Whatever happened between the two of you... it happened. It's up to you to come to terms with that. It'll probably be easier for you to move beyond the past if you have a full and enjoyable present. Focus on building that.
/r/seduction28/03/22 07:38 PM
84

Absolutely. Most rookies go through it. It happens when most of your dating life exists solely inside your own head.
/r/seduction28/03/22 07:19 PM
1

Like everything else in life, there's a learning curve. Sounds like you're still in the tough part of the curve. In particular, you might be spending energy in inefficient directions, particularly regarding the first few dates. Keep it simple and develop a routine that you enjoy. Saves a lot of energy and the women who are compatible with you will eat it up. And yes gotta stop taking it all personally. Compatibility is hard. The odds of any particular approach turning into a healthy LTR is tiny.
/r/seduction28/03/22 03:44 AM
-1

How many women have you talked to in the past month outside of work? If you're anything like most rookies, you're fixating on this woman because you don't know how to find the ones that aren't forced into your daily life by circumstances. That's not a good place to be. Even if we give you a magic spell to win her over, the most likely scenario is that you end up in a mediocre relationship with steadily growing resentment because you don't have enough dating experience to know what you want in a …
/r/seduction28/03/22 03:21 AM
1

Escalation refers to physical escalation, which can only happen in person. Set up a date.
/r/seduction28/03/22 03:19 AM
1

The market is 50% men and 50% women. There is literally someone for everyone. But I get that the process can often feel hopeless. Do what you can to live your best life on a daily basis and be kind to yourself along the way. That's all anyone can do.
/r/seduction28/03/22 01:57 AM
2

I'll just focus on living the best life I can while single Sweet, that's what you should be doing anyways. Nobody gets excited about meeting a dude who hates his life. And while you're building a life you actually enjoy, work on building your social skills so that you're more comfortable in a wide variety of circumstances. Before you know it, you'll be someone that people enjoy meeting, which makes the whole dating thing wayyyy easier.
/r/seduction28/03/22 12:31 AM
3

Well, you need to get over that. You're never going to know if they're receptive. If you want to have a healthy dating life, you have to learn how to take chances and handle disappointment.
/r/seduction27/03/22 09:44 PM
3

Because you don't want to approach unless you know they're going to be receptive?
/r/seduction27/03/22 09:21 PM
4

Why do you want it to mean something? Even if there is some sort of meaning behind certain clothing choices, it's not going to be universal. That means you still have to set aside your preconceived notions and talk to her like the independent individual that she is.
/r/seduction27/03/22 08:24 PM
1

I like ice cream, but I'm still not going to build a diet around it. At it's best, a long term relationship is a combination of both rational and emotional connections.
/r/seduction27/03/22 12:07 PM
1

Perhaps there's more than one "truth" to it. Perhaps you really did love each other deeply and there were incompatibilities that made sharing a life together unrealistic.
/r/seduction27/03/22 12:04 PM
1

Often enough that I don't keep track. My age range is huge in both directions. Desires and schedules are far more important than birthdays.
/r/seduction27/03/22 01:59 AM
6

Consider the possibility that some of your standards are not based on the things that really matter in life. Talk to some old people that you trust to see what they think. There's a good chance that your current criteria is holding you back.
/r/seduction26/03/22 09:00 PM
9

Ya can't put so much stock in one date, man. Compatibility is wayyyy more complicated than that. Become more active so you're getting dozens of those dates every year instead of putting all of your hopes in a single basket.
/r/seduction26/03/22 08:23 PM
23

It happens through time and attention. If you meet a girl and immediately wrap your life around her, you will become attached lightning quick. If you set a moderate pace and keep a multidimensional life, your rational brain will have a much better chance of making good decisions.
/r/seduction26/03/22 07:25 PM
9

Nothing wrong with taking a break when you need to. If you think things will magically get easier at some point, though, you're lying to yourself. Even if you're not going to work on dating directly, make sure you're methodically working on related skills that will be helpful when you're ready to get back to meeting women.
/r/seduction26/03/22 06:47 PM
83

Compatibility is tough to find. Most people don't like each other enough to share a big chunk of their lives. Their goals and lifestyles are too different to mesh well. So yeah, most of dating is meeting someone, exploring the connection to see if it works, and then going separate ways when you realize it doesn't. Occasionally you find someone who is a good fit for you and that's when the deep dive happens. Most people grind through the first part in search of the second, but with the right mind…
/r/seduction26/03/22 02:21 PM
1

That's like asking, "When did you stop hanging out with your friends?" Umm... never? I don't feel the need to get blackout drunk with them anymore, so... there's some toxic behavior that I outgrew, but why would I ever stop having friends? Why would I ever stop having a love life? Edit: I'm pretty sure you're bringing some bad assumptions to this conversation, so... just go ahead and put them on the table.
/r/seduction26/03/22 02:09 PM
3

These are the kinds of things you really shouldn't ask for advice on. It's better to just answer honestly instead of taking a poll, trying to find the "best" answer. Whatever you say will be fine.
/r/seduction25/03/22 03:13 PM
1

You should be meeting dozens of women in a year.
/r/seduction25/03/22 10:09 AM
63

The topic doesn't matter. It's all about how you converse. Sometimes, it's all about playfulness. Busy Bust her balls, just like you would a guy friend. Except mix in some occasional hints that you're attracted to her so she knows that sex is on the table. Other times, you want to get to know each other on a deeper level. This is all about sharing stories and learning about each other's past. Bonus: dig past the basic plot points and ask about feelings, motivations, and hopes. We feel strong bon…
/r/seduction25/03/22 04:21 AM
1

In simpler terms: crushing on someone from a distance is already awkward, even if you don't realize it. Don't do that. Or maybe try reading it all again after a good night's sleep. 🤷‍♂️
/r/seduction25/03/22 03:41 AM
1

So ask her out and have fun. Just... don't lead her on or otherwise deceive her. Be open and honest about your intentions each step of the way. If she's on the same page, great. If she's not, respect her wishes and back off. You don't want to leave a trail of angry women behind you.
/r/seduction25/03/22 03:36 AM
2

If you ask her out, it might be awkward or it might not be awkward. 50/50 chance. If you don't ask her out, you're gonna spend the rest of the semester crushing on her, awkwardly scoping her out from a distance. And yes, she'll notice. Guaranteed awkward. 💯 Asking her out is 50% less awkward. Go for it!
/r/seduction25/03/22 02:50 AM
1

What do you want to do? Most of this seduction shit boils down to a simple message: stop worrying about outside judgements. If you want to flirt with her, flirt with her. Who gives a fuck what these guys think about it. If you want to fuck her, fuck her. Same reason. If you don't want to, that's ok too. Good opportunity to practice setting and maintaining boundaries. Either way, you don't need anybody to tell you how you should proceed.
/r/seduction25/03/22 02:43 AM
2

It really doesn't matter what you do with this woman. The problem is that you waited ten years in between women. You need to start meeting women much, much, much more often.
/r/seduction25/03/22 02:38 AM
11

If you don't know how to talk to women? A lot, if you want to be with a woman who wants you for your money and status. But if you want someone who likes you as a person... the status and money of any particular career is worth slightly more than nothing. A decent tiebreaker, i guess, but definitely not worth the sacrifice it takes to get there.
/r/seduction25/03/22 02:33 AM
22

Workers date pretty often. It's not necessarily a deal breaker. The problem is that many rookies lust after coworkers because they don't have any other options. That scarcity mentality is very, very bad and it leads to bad outcomes.
/r/seduction25/03/22 12:25 AM
1

Even if you can get away with being a dick and your life is better off because of it... you're still a dick. That's why nobody's rushing to help you.
/r/seduction24/03/22 10:41 PM
1

You should assume that she's an attractive woman and attractive women always get plenty of attention. But you already knew that. What you really want to know is whether you should ask her out. Of course you should! That answer is always yes. What's the alternative? Sitting around for months or years jerking off to fantasies about her while never actually dating her? Fuck that. You don't want that path.
/r/seduction24/03/22 09:08 PM
49

It's pretty common for things to slow down after the initial excitement. Also, it's pretty common for two people to have a permanent libido mismatch. If it settles at a level that you don't like, please feel free to end the relationship and search for a partner that matches you better. You'll both be better off in the long run.
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:43 PM
10

How many women have you talked to in the past month outside of work? If you're anything like most rookies, you're fixating on this woman because you don't know how to find the ones that aren't forced into your daily life by circumstances. That's not a good place to be. Even we give you a magic spell to win her over, the most likely scenario is that you end up in a mediocre relationship with steadily growing resentment because you don't have enough dating experience to know what you want in a par…
/r/seduction24/03/22 04:53 PM
4

you may be only a handful of girls cup of tea That's true of anyone that has any depth to their personality. Budweiser sells a billion cans a year because it's bland. If you want flavor, you have to look craft beers, where you'll have to search carefully for the right flavor for you. Personally I don't care about beer flavor, so generic works for me. When it comes to a lifelong partner, though, I'll happily search for as long as it takes.
/r/seduction24/03/22 03:11 PM
2

I'm an awkward stereotypical sci-fi anime nerd introvert minus the obesity. Be the best version of yourself. Keep as many of those labels as you want, work to jettison the rest, and add any new ones that sound interesting to you.
/r/seduction24/03/22 03:07 PM
20

Quit worrying about things you can't change. There are plenty of women out there that are starving to meet a good man. Go meet them.
/r/seduction23/03/22 02:30 PM
4

Pretty common experience. Reflect on those moments... What is it you're nervous about? What sort of things are you afraid will happen?
/r/seduction23/03/22 12:12 PM
1

Maybe it would be easier to understand if you spent less time thinking in terms of studies and generalities. Simply treat each woman as a fully grown human that has the right to have her own preferences, even if they don't make sense to you.
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:47 AM
1

I assume less and communicate more. There doesn't seem to be any downside to that.
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:43 AM
29

That's the best part about leading: you get an answer pretty quickly. Even if it's not the one you want, it still frees you from the awful purgatory of waiting and wondering.
/r/seduction23/03/22 02:43 AM
7

I can't speak to the specifics of that situation, of course, but the world is fullllll of insanely driven people that found time to get married. 🤷‍♂️ All I'm saying is that I hope you're not waiting by your phone for her to call you after her life settles down. Odds are she'll rather take her chances on a random new guy.
/r/seduction22/03/22 06:47 PM
2

Because it's usually not a personal judgment. Most of the women I've dated are wonderful human beings. They're just not compatible with me, so I don't date them anymore. On a planet of 7 billion people, there mayyyybe a million of them that would be a good match for me. Should the other 6.999 billion feel personally insulted by my rejection? Of course not. My opinion has nothing to do with their value as human beings. It's just my personal preference.
/r/seduction22/03/22 06:20 PM
6

Even in those situations, it's usually an exaggeration. Nobody walks away from a mind-blowing relationship just because they're busy. If they think you truly might be "the one", they'll at least try to keep the relationship on life support. If they walk away, it's cuz they weren't really feeling it.
/r/seduction22/03/22 06:15 PM
1

Good luck with that. I hope you find someone that doesn't age!
/r/seduction22/03/22 06:11 PM
5

How many women are we talking about here?
/r/seduction22/03/22 10:58 AM
54

They're not afraid of being in a relationship. They just don't want to be in a relationship with you. It's a gentle rejection. You shouldn't take that personally. You might be doing everything well and you just happen to be incompatible with them. Most dates don't turn into relationships and most relationships don't turn into marriage. "Failure" is the norm in dating. If you think you are doing something to cause the rejections, you'll need to post more details.
/r/seduction22/03/22 04:47 AM
2

In a club theres nothing you can do or say to bring a babe home with you. So... if you had said, "Googoo Gaga" in response to everything she said, you think she still would have fucked you? C'mon, man. Of course your words and actions had an impact on the outcome. I'm glad you had a good night, but your "moral" is trash.
/r/seduction22/03/22 04:31 AM
2

My bad. I'm sorry for your loss, man. I'm old enough to have spent a few years dating a widow, so I got a glimpse of how deep that pain goes. Fuck cancer. Would you say your grief is making it harder to date? (Not meaning that in a judgemental way, just trying to quickly understand where you're at.)
/r/seduction22/03/22 03:44 AM
1

If she left you, she wasn't as compatible with you as you thought. Compatibility is a two way street like that. Also, 5% is 1 in 20. If you're serious about your search, you should be meeting at least 20 women each year. You should have had over a dozen promising partners by now. What's holding you back?
/r/seduction22/03/22 02:45 AM
1

I'm sure it's less than 5%. Probably less than 1%. I'm perfectly ok with that. I have no problem having my fun on a casual basis while I keep an eye out for someone that can match my vibe on a high level. Life's way too short to spend it attached to someone who isn't pulling in the same direction as you.
/r/seduction22/03/22 02:12 AM
3

It's not even helpful. Drugs (including alcohol) are fool's gold. Even ignoring the side effects, they won't get you where you want to go.
/r/seduction22/03/22 12:38 AM
4

Because you already know the answer: you avoid the trap by not stepping in the trap. But really what you're hoping is that someone will tell you that there is safe, effective shortcut to fixing your problem. There isn't. You'll need to resolve your approach anxiety the same way as everybody else: by putting in the work to grow your social skills.
/r/seduction22/03/22 12:14 AM
3

All depends on how you measure "success". I prefer to surround myself with people who understand that a person's "success" is far more complicated than the tags on their clothing or the looks of their girlfriend. My point is merely that you have to be thoughtful about where you fish and what lure you use. You'll never catch a marlin if you're fishing in freshwater. But if you're happy with whatever you happen to be catching, don't let my preferences stop you. You gotta do you.
/r/seduction21/03/22 09:14 PM
3

Do you want to have friends that are so dismissive of people? I prefer to surround myself with people who are more inclusive. They tend to have a better grasp on life.
/r/seduction21/03/22 08:51 PM
3

Thing of it as a funnel... It's very wide at first and then it gets narrower and narrower towards the end. If I'm not busy, I'll go on a first date with practically anybody. When I'm busy, I'll focus my attention on those that fuck really well and/or have relationship potential. Regarding relationships, I'm really fucking picky. I'm not investing a huge chunk of time into someone that doesn't match my lifestyle very well. As a rookie, you should just be talking to everybody and dating as much as…
/r/seduction21/03/22 08:03 PM
1

Believe me, I have plenty of personal experience with that. 🙁 I'm just saying that nobody would choose to do that. We all inherently understand that speed is better than perfection in casual conversation. Bring that same attitude to texting.
/r/seduction21/03/22 07:08 PM
2

Use whatever form of communication is typical for your generation/culture. Number, snap, insta, etc... It doesn't matter as long as her phone buzzes when you message her. Sometimes she'll offer her contact info, but you should never wait for that. When you get to a point where you want her info, ask for it. It's that simple. You are the leader of the interaction, so you decide when to ask.
/r/seduction21/03/22 07:06 PM
1

If you don't know how to escalate without scaring the woman, you have a lot to learn about calibration.
/r/seduction21/03/22 05:58 PM
8

The problem with instant respect is that it's inherently shallow. It'll disappear just as quickly as it came. Think about how pointless Cinderella's ball would have been if it didn't come with a typical Disney happy ending. Slow respect based on gradually gaining a deeper understanding of each other, on the other hand, is how you build friendships and relationships that can last a lifetime.
/r/seduction21/03/22 05:04 PM
45

says hes sad cause hes banging too many models... No, he's sad because he realized he's been prioritizing characteristics that don't actually fulfill him. It's a lesson that goes wayyyy beyond appearances. Good relationships are based on meeting each other's needs. You're not likely to find (and hold onto) such a relationship until you figure out what your needs truly are. OP is now one step closer to that. Congrats, OP!
/r/seduction21/03/22 04:58 PM
1

You'll get faster with practice. Also, you can probably afford to put less effort into it. If "good enough" will get the job done in 30 seconds, that's usually a better option than "really good" that takes 15 minutes. After all, nobody would be silly enough to wait 15 minutes to craft the perfect response in real life. Learning to trust your (newly honed) instincts is an important part of the process.
/r/seduction21/03/22 03:46 PM
6

The Five Love Languages will give you a lot of insight into common relationship dynamics. I've found it very helpful. The 7 habits of highly effective people is also very helpful. The second half of the book focuses on the importance of relating to people. In particular, i think "win/win or no deal" is an essential mindset for relationships. A lot of people spend wayyyy too much time in zombie relationships because they're terrified of the "or no deal" part. Also, anything by Brene Brown. If you…
/r/seduction21/03/22 01:23 PM
1

I agree on all points. If he had used the word "calibration" even once, i would have given him the benefit of the doubt that he was being thoughtful in choice of pace.
/r/seduction21/03/22 12:28 PM
1

That's fair and beating up OP is definitely not my intent. It worked out well for him. Yay! 🥳 My issue is that a lot of rookies are going to read this and use it as an excuse to not escalate. That's not a good thing for this sub.
/r/seduction21/03/22 12:14 PM
1

"team sport", "accomplice" 💯🙌 So my question is... What did OP do to help the team? According to the story, she took all of the initiatives and he was still cracking jokes as she led him to the bedroom. I think it's safe to assume that she had been dropping hints for weeks and he's fortunate that she is persistent enough and bold enough to take over the lead role. Most women won't.
/r/seduction21/03/22 12:00 PM
7

I 💯 agree that calibration is important. Sometimes things move slowly and that's totally ok. And things worked out for OP, so that's good for him and I wish them both the best. The problem is he's presenting it as teaching example and his key message is one of complete passivity. After waiting a month... and dragging him to the store for condoms... She still needed to get half-naked, turn off the TV, and lead him into the bedroom. I'm glad it worked out for him, but waiting around for the woman …
/r/seduction21/03/22 11:41 AM
19

Rushing escalation never works for me. You waited a month and you were still being so passive that you didn't even bring condoms on the date. What exactly is your definition of "rushing"? It seems like things always unfold for me when i take my time. There's a confirmation bias at play here. You're never going to hear anyone say, "I'm walking away because you don't touch me enough." Instead, you'll get vague rejections like "lack of chemistry", "just friends", or "too busy right now". If you're …
/r/seduction21/03/22 02:47 AM
65

A lot of them... have no time to beat around the bush!! Dude, she waited a month for you to take the initiative. She probably wanted to sleep with you two weeks earlier. The lesson here is that you need to escalate better in the future. If you wait around for the woman to take the lead, you're going to miss a lot of opportunities.
/r/seduction21/03/22 12:03 AM
5

It doesn't matter. An important part of inner game is coming to understand that nobody is entitled to your time and attention. OP is free to choose his social circle on whatever criteria he wants and he has clearly decided that this chick doesn't belong in it. Good on him for setting firm boundaries.
/r/seduction20/03/22 12:19 PM
51

One hobby??? You don't have to hold out for some all-consuming lifelong passion. Just go try something and if you like it do it again. Do that for awhile and soon you'll have a nice variety of hobbies. P.S. Volunteering for a good cause is a great hobby.
/r/seduction20/03/22 04:18 AM
28

You meet women and you date them. After you do that for awhile, you start to realize that they aren't magical creatures. They're humans with the same wants and needs as anyone else. No matter what weird shit you might like, there are women out there that want the same thing. If you put yourself out there enough, you'll start to find them.
/r/seduction19/03/22 02:51 PM
2

I have no idea what you're talking about, but i sincerely hope you start working on your fear of rejection. Your future self will be very grateful for it
/r/seduction17/03/22 05:10 PM
3

If some chick jumps on OP's cock, I'm sure he'll be ok with it. He's not really gay, after all. He's just hiding from his fear of rejection.
/r/seduction17/03/22 04:18 PM
2

Real talk: You're not attractive and it's ruining your chances with women. Also, "attractive" is more than just facial structure. Even if you get the perfect jawline, you're still going to be judged on your style, physique, posture, etc and your ability to approach women, hold a conversation, flirt, and escalate kino. How are you doing on those topics? If they need work, the sooner you start working on them, the better.
/r/seduction17/03/22 04:11 PM
8

If you really want to disqualify yourself, just get a fake wedding ring. But really... If you ever want to have a dating life, you'll need to face your fears at some point.
/r/seduction17/03/22 03:48 PM
3

It generally takes dozens of first dates to find a woman who matches well enough to justify a relationship, so don't go into this thinking, "This is my best chance, I need to make things happen!" It's not true and the pressure will only make it worse. Your only goal tonight should be to get some dating practice and have some fun while you're at it. I'm sure you'll make plenty of "mistakes" tonight, but that's ok! It's all part of the learning process. Once you start getting dates on a regular ba…
/r/seduction17/03/22 12:42 PM
8

Humor is all about surprise. The setup (or the situation) gets the audience thinking one thing. The punchline takes it in the opposite direction. You can read books on humor and joke writing if you want. But really, you don't need to. Every woman says they want a man who makes them laugh, but they never pick a man because he's funny. If they find him funny, it's usually because they're attracted and they're infatuated with everything he does. How's your kino escalation? If you're getting dates t…
/r/seduction17/03/22 10:04 AM
7

Nothing is guaranteed to be obvious to a 15 year old boy. I once got a valentine that said "kiss me" and I still missed the hint. 🤣 Plenty of 30 year olds in this sub that still struggle with obvious hints. Learning how to communicate openly (and to handle the vulnerability that comes with it) is always a good thing, but if you want to do the usual coy female thing... be nearby, be receptive, be playful, and be hopeful that he connects the dots before you go crazy with frustration.
/r/seduction16/03/22 05:02 PM
10

"Better" depends on how you say it. Use the one that feels more comfortable to you.
/r/seduction16/03/22 04:10 PM
47

People make time for those they care about. You're not on that list. Maybe you'll make the cut once her life slows down a bit, but you do not want to wait around hoping for that. I'd focus my energy elsewhere and maybe ask her out again in a couple months. If she's still "too busy" at that point, I'd forget about her.
/r/seduction16/03/22 02:48 PM
9

You have to remember that guys are here because they didn't learn this shit "naturally". Using specialized lingo helps us control the definitions in specific ways that make it easier for the rookies to learn. Yes, there are already general words in the English language for all of these things, but clearly those don't click well enough for some people. There's no harm in giving them another way to think about things.
/r/seduction16/03/22 02:00 PM
70

When a woman chooses to spend her leisure time with you in private Quoted for emphasis. Everything you say is certainly true. So much of dating is based on "implied consent", which is a very delicate back-and-forth dance of context, escalation, and reciprocation. It's very hard to get right, so rookies are understandably very hesitant. The single easiest thing you can do to avoid crossing lines is to save the escalation for a date. If she meets up with you one-on-one for a purely social reason, …
/r/seduction16/03/22 01:45 PM
1

Touch
/r/seduction16/03/22 11:35 AM
4

Imagine you're a huge celebrity. Do you think she would feel interrupted if you came over to talk to her? Of course not, because it's going to be a worthwhile interaction for her. At the very least, she's gonna get a story to tell afterwards. Everybody wins. Everybody's happy. I would wager that most of your "considerate" behavior is really a reflection of low self worth. You're walking around thinking that what everyone else wants is more important than what you want. That you're just in their …
/r/seduction15/03/22 11:32 PM
2

Flirtation consists of three things: eye contact, kino, and speech that invokes thoughts of kino. It usually isn't something you usually go from 0-100 with. That's why we refer to it as kino escalation. You start small and gradually get more intimate. The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder is the gold standard.
/r/seduction15/03/22 11:00 PM
6

Dude, I am an average guy and I've spent most of my life in the lonely shoes. I get it. I've also succeeded in outgrowing those shoes. Take a break if you need to, but don't give up on building your social skills. Your future self will be glad you put in the work.
/r/seduction15/03/22 05:59 PM
6

So what's the problem? Rejection isn't (usually) a personal attack. It's just the process we use to sample the buffet as we try to find our favorite food.
/r/seduction15/03/22 05:53 PM
3

To find a compatible partner, you have to filter out the incompatible ones. That's what the women are doing when they "reject" you. You should be doing the same thing.
/r/seduction15/03/22 05:47 PM
1

There's nothing wrong with approaching everyone. If you keep it up, you'll be the most popular guy in town... if you're having real conversations and genuinely trying to connect with them.
/r/seduction15/03/22 03:04 PM
3

Most cold approach advice is based on the assumption that the target is an anonymous person that you will never see again. Since you are routinely seeing people again, you should shift gears and start leaning more towards social circle game. Cuz apparently you have a very large circle now.
/r/seduction15/03/22 01:06 PM
4

What matters is whether you continue trying. If you give up, you will surely be doomed to a life of solitude. So... don't give up.
/r/seduction14/03/22 12:31 AM
3

Depends... Do you intend to stay reclusive and socially inept?
/r/seduction13/03/22 11:49 PM
94

She's old enough to make her own decisions. What do you want? From an ethical standpoint, even if you do have some sort of coercive power over her, you could just... not use it. As long as you treat her with honesty and integrity, you should have no trouble sleeping soundly at night.
/r/seduction13/03/22 11:12 PM
7

"Introverted" means social interactions wear you out. "Extroverted" means social interactions energize you. Can you have a healthy dating life as an introvert? Absolutely. Can you have a healthy dating life as a reclusive dude with poor social skills that's too afraid to talk to women? No, not really. You would have to get extremely lucky.
/r/seduction13/03/22 11:04 PM
3

You can only control yourself. Can you think of any ways you could have responded better to your buddy's actions? It's only a single approach on a single night. A healthy dating life consists of countless approaches on countless nights. If this one incident seems like a big deal to you, it's because you're not approaching enough.
/r/seduction13/03/22 10:17 PM
1

How do I show a girl that I find her really interesting and attractive Escalate kino. Her guy friend don't touch her. Her lovers do. Your approach to physicality tells her which category you want to be in.
/r/seduction13/03/22 07:02 PM
3

You're young, right? It's perfectly ok if you prefer to take things slower. You mention courage, though. Are you afraid she won't want to kiss you? There's a saying about marriage proposals: the surprise comes from the "when" and the "how", not from the outcome. If you don't already know that she wants to marry you, you shouldn't be proposing. Kissing is pretty much the same. You don't just throw lips at someone without warning. You work your way up to it through a process we call kino escalatio…
/r/seduction12/03/22 08:08 PM
15

The mismatch is weird There are million possibilities. It's too early to jump to any conclusions. selfishly I need to nut If that's all it was, you would have jerked off instead of posting on Reddit. It's ok to crave the physical intimacy. It's also ok to break up with her if it turns out that she doesn't crave it as much as you do.
/r/seduction12/03/22 05:54 PM
45

Sex fluctuates over time. A single week is a really small sample size. If the relationship is good otherwise, don't sweat it just yet. If there continues to be a libido mismatch, you'll probably want to end the relationship, cuz it isn't likely to improve.
/r/seduction12/03/22 04:54 PM
2

Escalate kino
/r/seduction12/03/22 01:05 PM
7

True, you can do everything with the best of intentions and still end up with a bad outcome. Also, you can walk away, giving her a bullshit reason (cuz we all know you're not going to say, "I'm leaving because I'm worried about your mental health.") and then she reacts badly because the tenth straight guy just blew her off for an obviously bullshit reason. There's only so much you can control in this world, but I'm of the mind that compassionate honest is a good path to follow.
/r/seduction11/03/22 04:52 AM
92

I'm a big fan of the campsite rule: leave your partners better off than you found them. Hookups are still a definite possibility, though. You just have to be verrrrry open and clear about your desires and intentions. Give her the chance to walk away if she isn't on the same page. If you let her lie to herself about long-term potential, you'll get what you want... and then it'll end very badly when she realizes she misjudged you. Heartbreak comes from unmet expectations, after all. Don't be that …
/r/seduction11/03/22 02:06 AM
2

We're a great match across everything you would imagine. No you're not. Wanna know how I know? 6-7 months later, she said she doesn't know how she feels about me, and things eventually ended That's how I know. Great matches don't break up that quickly. Maybe she didn't tell you the real reason for the breakup or maybe she did but you didn't listen well enough. Either way, one thing is certain: the relationship wasn't working as well as you thought it was. because I thought and felt that she was …
/r/seduction11/03/22 01:27 AM
1

Showing my age... https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtomuCnVMAE2Iqk.jpg But really, any tongue-in-cheek denial will work to deflect in a harmless way. It's also perfectly ok to answer openly and honestly with someone that you're actually developing a romantic connection with. Words of affirmation are very important to a lot of people, so you're handicapping yourself if you cling to tightly to certain stereotypical "alpha" notions.
/r/seduction11/03/22 01:10 AM
2

That's quite the little rant you're on there. Sharing funny memes with your friends is NOT attention-seeking behavior. Not even close. I'm sure she's scrolling through the memes anyways and she hits "share" whenever she thinks her friends might get the same chuckle out of it. And she's probably right a lot of the time. It's not my cup of tea, but it's a harmless little social interaction. Hell, it's exact same thing that built the website we're on right now.
/r/seduction10/03/22 08:55 PM
1

Call it a hunch. If I'm wrong, keep up the good work!
/r/seduction09/03/22 08:54 PM
1

There's probably room for improvement appearance-wise, but it sounds like you're already on the right track there. Except the teeth. If you're rich, go ahead and buy new teeth, but otherwise, quit worrying about. Brush twice a day, floss regularly, see your dentist every six months, and smile often. Your problem is probably in your comment about boundaries. I'm a HUGE believer in respecting boundaries, but you have to be careful not to invent boundaries for her. She's on a date with you because …
/r/seduction09/03/22 03:18 PM
1

As the others are saying, none of it should be taken as an attack on who you are as a person. However, some of it should be taken as a criticism of your technique. There will always be random "failures" that truly have nothing to do with you, but look for problematic patterns. If a certain problem keeps popping up, then it's time to look for a way to attack it
/r/seduction09/03/22 01:18 PM
2

Whatever you decide to do will be fine. The bigger problem is that your nearest date is on the other side of the country. This girl will be flying over literally millions of closer, single women. Why aren't you dating them? Approach more women.
/r/seduction09/03/22 01:09 PM
10

12 hours. My buddy and I made a weekend road trip out of it and the pussy was great, but I'm soooo glad those days of scarcity are over. Anymore, It would take special circumstances for me to travel more than 45 min. 20-30 min is more the norm.
/r/seduction09/03/22 02:24 AM
5

It can be either one. You shouldn't be worrying about that, though. If you want friends, look for friends and do friend things. If you want someone to fuck, look for someone to fuck and fuck them. If you want romance, look for a romantic partner and romance them. Whatever you're after, your goal is to find someone that wants the same thing. Any mismatches you find along the way are just a normal part of the search, so wish them well and continue on your way.
/r/seduction08/03/22 06:51 PM
2

It's always great to go into a date with no obvious dealbreakers! Still gotta keep it in perspective. You'll probably need twenty matches like this before you find one that actually lives up to the hype. There are a shit-ton of potential problems between "She seems great" and "She's worth focusing on exclusively".
/r/seduction08/03/22 03:47 PM
2

You won't notice the incremental changes. You'll wake up one day and go, "Whoa, I just benched 250."
/r/seduction08/03/22 12:00 PM
29

by my standards she was everything I was looking for This right here is your real problem. If you really think you can judge compatibility based on a tinder profile and some texts, you still have a lot to learn. No matter how perfect her profile seems, there are a thousand other important things that could easily ruin the match. You don't even know if you like the way she kisses! The vast majority of matches don't work out, so you need to keep a curious, exploratory frame instead of filling your…
/r/seduction08/03/22 05:22 AM
7

You're not alone. Pretty much everyone here is working through similar issues. Keep reaching out, keep putting in the work to grow. The effort will pay off. You got this!
/r/seduction07/03/22 10:17 PM
343

Someone who is "fake" is putting on a temporary mask in order to get something out of somebody. It's a nefarious deception. "Fake it til you make it" is about self-improvement. You're doing the things you want to do, you're being the person you want to be... it just isn't an ingrained habit yet, so you have to consciously struggle to stay on course. Like the new guy at the gym, you look and feel totally out of place, but you are in the right place and you will feel comfortable eventually.
/r/seduction07/03/22 02:21 PM
2

That's a fair question. A few things to consider... The early rejections often have very little to do with you. I don't want to be with someone who has a scarcity mindset and will quickly latch onto the first decent option that comes along. The fact that she was willing to walk away early on shows that she has options and is being thoughtful about who she dates. There isn't really any harm in giving second chances early on. Unless I'm particularly busy, I'll go on an exploratory date with just a…
/r/seduction07/03/22 01:16 PM
1

If you don't even know what it means to be dominant, why do you want to be dominant? Also, don't get too hooked on any one person's preferences. The goal is to become the best version of yourself.
/r/seduction07/03/22 02:13 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t67hv6/comment/hz9sh7s/
/r/seduction04/03/22 05:10 AM
3

You've already posted here 25 times in the last hour or so. That's a lot of effort that can't possibly be doing anything good for your mental health. I hope you try something new.
/r/seduction04/03/22 04:36 AM
0

Only one way to find out, boss. Your current approach clearly isn't working, so what have you got to lose?
/r/seduction04/03/22 03:42 AM
3

Still blaming everyone else, eh? Like I've already told you a number of times, if you want real feedback, you have to give us specifics that we can analyze. Field Reports. That is something that you have full control of. Nobody can make you post a field report. Nobody can stop you from posting one. It's entirely up to you. I hope you choose to start doing it.
/r/seduction04/03/22 03:26 AM
20

Sure, becoming more comfortable with the language and improvisation will make you more comfortable in pretty much any circumstance. Also, becoming more comfortable with the imperfect nature of casual conversation will also make you more comfortable in pretty much any circumstance. You don't have to become a great performer. Most people aren't, after all. You just have to be more forgiving of yourself.
/r/seduction02/03/22 04:32 AM
4

Well, if you truly think there was an exclusive understanding, go ahead and discuss that with her. You wouldn't want to ruin things over a misunderstanding. But if she gives you anything other than a firm answer, move forward with your life. You can't put your life on hold for a "maybe".
/r/seduction02/03/22 03:50 AM
3

Saying that she's looking for a relationship is not the same thing is agreeing to be IN an exclusive relationship.
/r/seduction02/03/22 03:38 AM
12

It could be true. Vacations can create scheduling problems like that. Ultimately, though, it doesn't matter if it's true or not. Are you exclusive with her? No, you're not. That means you should have other things going on in your life to keep you busy. She's unavailable for the next few weeks, so you wish her well and go on with your other shit (which should Include other women). Maybe you hear back from her again next month. Maybe not. Either way, you should not be sitting around waiting for he…
/r/seduction02/03/22 02:57 AM
26

Yes, bad behavior can certainly work. We're taught that crime doesn't pay, but that's wishful thinking. Obviously it often does pay. But you can also achieve your goals without shitting all over societal standards. I'll stick to the honorable road myself.
/r/seduction01/03/22 02:24 PM
1

It's pretty common... when you're inexperienced and thirsty. Work to grow more secure in yourself. Most people are unimpressive most of the time. You don't have to be constantly impressive either. You can just be.
/r/seduction28/02/22 04:35 AM
2

Discussing facts and plot points gets boring quickly. Practice peeling the onion so that your conversations shift towards talking about the values and motivations of the characters in the story. People will feel much stronger about you when they think you understand me why they act and feel the way they do.
/r/seduction28/02/22 04:25 AM
6

I feel like anything that could possibly throw me off in a marriage would be revealed while we were dating Exactly, dating is a filtering process. Most of the time, the red flags are apparent in the first few dates. Sometimes it takes a few months to notice the incompatibilities. Occasionally you even spend a few years going down the wrong path. Nobody can tell you when a match is "good enough"... That's something only you can decide. I can tell you this, though: if you're thirsty enough, even a…
/r/seduction28/02/22 04:17 AM
5

Fair question. Let me answer with a question: Do you know which personality traits are essential to you over the course of a forty year marriage?
/r/seduction28/02/22 04:01 AM
6

I rather just get 1 good girl and settle down with her or be somewhat exclusive Cool. Except... How will you know you got a "good" one if you don't have any others to compare her to? Would you buy the first house you tour or would you shop around some? Even if you do fall in love with the first one, there's no guarantee the seller will accept your offer. If you met resistance, would you double down and massively overpay?
/r/seduction28/02/22 03:28 AM
3

Sweet. That's the goal, for it to become automatic.
/r/seduction26/02/22 06:32 PM
1

If you don't escalate, how did your penis get inside her?
/r/seduction26/02/22 06:27 PM
8

Society has become increasingly sex-positive, but women still face a lot of slut-shaming. A "good girl" isn't supposed to go into a date wanting sex. But they do like and want sex, of course. So there's a very common defense mechanism where they act like they didn't see it coming. They just "got caught up in the moment", etc. Don't take it personally. She fucked you, so you must be doing some things right!
/r/seduction26/02/22 06:11 PM
2

Blah blah blah. The fact remains that there are an equal number of men and women in this world and virtually all of them succeed in finding someone. If you don't, it's because you wasted too much time making excuses instead of pursuing your goal.
/r/seduction26/02/22 01:43 PM
1

it’s the best way to market/advertise yourself From the context, it sounded like you wanted to use your insta to market yourself to single women. Did I misunderstand?
/r/seduction26/02/22 01:24 AM
1

Remember this morning when you claimed you weren't trying to use insta as a dating profile? 🤨 I'm glad you're being honest with yourself now.
/r/seduction25/02/22 11:35 PM
1

Why?
/r/seduction25/02/22 05:33 PM
2

You do. You wouldn't be here, searching for a solution if you didn't. You've just been demoralized by years of bad results. If you put in the work, your results will improve and you'll gradually find your mojo.
/r/seduction25/02/22 01:02 PM
15

If you're trying to use insta as a dating profile, that's gonna be a lot of fucking work for someone who doesn't like taking pictures. If that's your motivation, don't bother. Just get a few good pictures and put them on proper dating apps where the lack of volume won't be a problem. Or... Build an interesting life that you want to document with pictures. Social media is a full time job when you're faking it, but it's a piece of cake when it's authentic.
/r/seduction25/02/22 12:54 PM
2

That's at least partly in your head There will always be some women who don't like what you're offering. That's ok. You're not trying to change anyone's mind. You're just trying to find the ones who do like what you have. As you start doing it, post Field Reports here. The community can help you work through sticking points to improve your results. Right now, though, your sticking point is that you're sitting on the sidelines. Put your helmet on and get in the fucking game, my friend! 😀
/r/seduction25/02/22 12:47 PM
0

The lock varies in intricacy depending on your goals and standards, but the concept applies to everything. Using OP's examples, there's no magically "correct" time delay between texts. The "right" answer is going to vary from woman to woman and even from day to day. You're going to text some too soon and you're going to text some too late. That's just how it goes. You can pour a ton of energy into learning how to read and mimic her style if you want, but then you have to constantly be "in charac…
/r/seduction25/02/22 12:42 PM
3

How many women do you approach each month? My point is the the burden is on you to initiate and escalate the interactions. I would be a lot of money that you're not doing that. Most rookies don't. Build that skill up and your results will improve dramatically.
/r/seduction25/02/22 12:16 PM
6

What I mean is that you need to be brave enough to ask the question even when you think the answer might be "no". When you do get a clear "no", walk away. "Insisting" is definitely not a good thing. But you won't ever get a "yes" if you give up before you've even asked the question.
/r/seduction25/02/22 12:13 PM
2

If you're trying to get her back, shoot your shot assertively, like you would with anyone else. If/when you're ready to give up on the lost cause, treat her as you would any other distant acquaintance: "Hey, how's it going?" "Awesome, me too. Have a good one!" Small talk is the art of having pleasant, unimportant conversations. It's nice when you can maintain a legit friendship with an ex, but mostly they end up in the small talk category.
/r/seduction25/02/22 05:43 AM
1

He's right that you have to attack your problem straight on, but there's sooooo much toxicity baked into "be a man" type statements... Don't pay any attention to that shit. Just focus on addressing your anxiety.
/r/seduction25/02/22 05:25 AM
2

If your anxiety is as high as you say, it will take a lot of alcohol to overcome it. If you take a lot of alcohol, you will be impaired to the point of sloppiness. You won't care, but you won't succeed either. It's a fool's game. The only way to truly expand your abilities is by confronting your demons. You have to learn how to stare down your anxiety and act in your best interest, even when it's screaming at you. Start small if you have to, but focus on building that muscle. You can push past t…
/r/seduction25/02/22 05:21 AM
13

This is what happens when you treat each woman as a level you need to beat. Instead, think of her as a key that may or may not fit your lock. Now, your job is all about figuring out what shape you want your lock to have. Likewise, she's deciding what shape she wants her key to have. If they match, great! If not, that's ok too. Y'all just go your separate ways looking for that better fit.
/r/seduction25/02/22 05:14 AM
12

That's... not a minor detail. You could have the body and charm of a Greek god and you would still go home alone every night if you're too afraid to risk an ego bruise. Increasing your emotional resiliency will help a ton.
/r/seduction25/02/22 04:07 AM
3

I do most things you see people advice How many women do you invite out on dates in a typical month?
/r/seduction25/02/22 04:02 AM
200

What if it's a genetic or something Dude, your existence is literally a direct result of ALL of your forefathers getting laid. 100% of them. You will too, if you put your mind to it.
/r/seduction24/02/22 08:16 PM
53

There will be many, many times in your dating life when you don't get a clear answer about someone's actions. Life is easier if you learn to be ok with that.
/r/seduction24/02/22 04:14 PM
17

Who fucking knows? People do weird shit sometimes. Does it matter?
/r/seduction24/02/22 04:01 PM
3

The exact word choice determines how crass the message comes across, but "degrading"??? How in the world could it be degrading to offer a hookup to someone he JUST hooked up with???? If she's feeling any shame about the hookup, that's an internal problem on her part. Saying he would be open to doing it again sometime is the exact opposite of shaming.
/r/seduction23/02/22 02:43 PM
16

"Hard", "soft", "edge"... These words are vague metaphors that have a lot of bullshit baked into them. Don't think in those terms. "Authenticity" is the word you're looking for. It's a wonderful thing and you're absolutely right that there's a lot of pressure to be inauthentic. I'm glad to hear that you're ready stand up to that pressure and become your true self. Best wishes on your journey!
/r/seduction23/02/22 12:46 PM
3

No, needy and desperate is when you stay "friends" with her even though you don't want to just friends. Even if she takes this as a sign of desperation, she'll realize she was wrong when you disappear and move on with your life.
/r/seduction23/02/22 12:15 PM
6

"cool hmu if u want more" Adapt it to your own lingo. The point is that you acknowledge her decision to stop dating, show that you're not upset, and invite her to come back for more dick if she ever changes her mind.
/r/seduction23/02/22 05:06 AM
15

"No worries, feel free to hit me up if you're ever in the mood again."
/r/seduction23/02/22 04:42 AM
8

Approach. Flirt. Escalate kino. Same as any other situation. If you don't know how, stop with the fantasies and focus on fundamentals.
/r/seduction23/02/22 04:18 AM
1

Same as anywhere else: Approach, flirt, escalate kino. If you don't know how, read the wiki and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction22/02/22 02:50 PM
13

He doesn't own her. He doesn't even respect her enough to tell her the truth. He's literally conning her. He's a million miles away from having the moral high ground. Of course, that won't stop him from being pissed off. Clearly he feels entitled to treat women this way and I'm sure he expects his friend to back his play. But you have to ask yourself... If keeping his mistress is more important to him than keeping you as a friend, is he really a friend that's worth having? P.S. If you decide to …
/r/seduction22/02/22 02:05 PM
2

If you build your life around movies, you're gonna have a bad time. If you want to get laid, you need to learn how to approach, flirt and escalate kino. Period. There is no other way. Alcohol can help to reduce your anxiety slightly if you use it just right, but that's a really hard balancing act. Most rookies drink enough to erase their anxiety, turning themselves into a sloppy mess that isn't attractive to anybody. There are no quick fixes. tl;dr: Stop hoping for a magical future where dating …
/r/seduction22/02/22 01:03 PM
2

I have no interest in the details. OP can make his own risk assessment. I was just pointing out why the other poster shouldn't be so quick to push his risk assessment on OP.
/r/seduction22/02/22 03:10 AM
2

She'll be fine. Don't ever stay with someone out of pity. And if you don't want to be exclusive, don't be exclusive. Part of having a healthy dating life is learning how to set and hold boundaries. It's entirely up to you where and when you set them, but you must be able to set them. Otherwise you'll be forever drifting along, living someone else's life.
/r/seduction22/02/22 01:57 AM
4

Keeping score won't get you anywhere good. Moreover, think about your mindset here. You're trying to train someone into being the person you want. That's a fool's errand. It won't work. Instead, find someone who is naturally the kind of person you want to be with.
/r/seduction21/02/22 08:33 PM
2

Kino is slang for "touch". Movies are horrible for first dates. Read the wiki to get the basics and the practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction21/02/22 08:15 PM
3

Who said anything about Mexico? Wherever she's from, she'll understand his intentions and she'll also understand that he doesn't give a damn if she actually drinks a beer.
/r/seduction21/02/22 06:58 PM
5

We're talking about probabilities here, so the answer ultimately depends on the personal details. If OP has decent social skills, it's unlikely that a flirtation will turn into a flaming wreckage that costs him his job. Even if it does, it's unlikely that it would have any meaningful impact on his finances if he has an easily replaceable job. It also helps to remember that zero-risk is not a realistic standard. That girl you're picking up online or at the bar... how do you know she's not your bo…
/r/seduction21/02/22 03:13 PM
17

If OP is in the US and working alongside someone who doesn't speak English, this job probably isn't very important to OP's future. I wouldn't fuck with a career job, but replaceable jobs can be replaced.
/r/seduction21/02/22 02:43 PM
1

What you're describing is pretty common, unfortunately. Hopefully it'll become less common in time. Also, parenting is an impossible task. Every parent fucks up a lot of stuff along the way and every kid's upbringing has gaps. That's just how it goes. Focus on filling in your gaps instead of resenting them.
/r/seduction21/02/22 01:46 PM
171

Don't escalate at work. Ever. Especially when there's a language barrier. Ask her out for drinks. "Cervezas?" plus hand gestures will get the point across. If she says yes, escalate kino on the date. If she says no, move on with your life. Also: meet more women. I'm guessing you've already spent wayyy too much time focusing on this one person.
/r/seduction21/02/22 01:38 PM
3

Who knows? Who cares? Why aren't you actually busy? Get out there and live your life. Do fun things, meet more women.
/r/seduction21/02/22 04:11 AM
103

Unless you have a way of changing your age, these are pointless comparisons. You are the age you are. The best time to work on your dating life is now. Get at it.
/r/seduction20/02/22 11:48 PM
0

Yeah, all the other dudes in this thread are missing the point too. Why the hell should OP care about some orbiters wasting their time? She's never going to fuck those chumps. If she wanted to be with a spineless kiss-ass, she'd already be with a spineless kiss-ass.
/r/seduction20/02/22 07:40 PM
2

You seem to be missing how those guys are chasing his gf. They're doing it by mindlessly and spinelessly kissing her ass. That won't get them anywhere good, no matter what her relationship status is. That was OP's point.
/r/seduction20/02/22 07:01 PM
3

Like I said, you're welcome to draw the boundaries wherever you want. Obviously, your feelings are very close to the social norms. I happen to be non-monogamous. You can go ahead and fuck "my" girl and I'll just high five you afterwards because she'll still be just as much "mine" as she was before. Not everyone values exclusivity as much as you seem to.
/r/seduction20/02/22 05:34 PM
3

You're free to draw your boundaries wherever you, but you're lying to yourself if you think your girl won't have 10 offers within an hour of changing her relationship status to "single". The options are always there. There's no point in being afraid of that. Personally, I embrace it. I want to be with women that decide that I am their best option rather than just the convenient option. If testing the waters occasionally helps them reaffirm their decision, that's fine with me. I enjoy doing it to…
/r/seduction20/02/22 05:14 PM
4

I wouldn't want to be in OP's shoes here, but you're missing something major in your last paragraph. Any decent partner will have other options. Why wouldn't they? Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone who was only with you out of desperation? The point is to find someone who matches you so well that you choose each other and keep choosing each other. If it ever comes down to a lack of options, your relationship is fucked, even if it doesn't end
/r/seduction20/02/22 04:48 PM
5

This stuff definitely happens. Most of us have been guilty of orbiting like that. The woman usually does it subconsciously, though. I'd be very worried about any woman cold-hearted enough to intentionally use people. Reminds me of an ex. I watched her lie and deflect constantly with even her best friends because she just didn't have the backbone to say how she really felt if there was any chance of a conflict. She'd say whatever she had to sweep the matter under the rug. It took an embarrassingl…
/r/seduction20/02/22 04:42 PM
14

What difference does it make? You'll drive yourself crazy worrying about the motives of other people. If you want to have a second date with her, ask her out. If she wants to have a second date with you, she'll say yes. Everything else is just a distraction.
/r/seduction20/02/22 04:00 PM
2

"No matter how beautiful she is, someone somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit." Drill that into your head. Not in a misogynistic way, though. Women are wonderful. It's just a way of remembering that compatibility is very hard. Finding someone whose personality, lifestyle, goals, and quirks all line up well with your personality, lifestyle, goals, and quirks is the needle-in-a-haystack kind of hard. No matter how beautiful she is, there's a long line of guys who said, "Nah, she's not a g…
/r/seduction20/02/22 02:34 PM
2

How can you "really like" someone you don't even know? Instead of assuming she's awesome, adopt a more curious frame: "She makes a good first impression. I wonder if she can back it up."
/r/seduction20/02/22 01:23 PM
50

Improve your looks and keep approaching. FTFY. In a sub full of keyboard jockies who couldn't approach a single girl to save their lives, we're going to tell this guy he's not good enough to keep approaching? Fuck that. /u/demonthinking/, I've had the same body type as you for big chunks of my life and yeah, my results always improve as I get fitter. But honestly, the inner game shit is wayyy harder than working out and you're already doing great there, so don't let these fucks tear you down. Ke…
/r/seduction19/02/22 08:24 PM
14

I've had my heart broken badly twice with this year from women who I really liked, but who broke it off after a few weeks. You have some unique circumstances in your life, but the core is the same as most every other rookie here: You're way over-investing in women you've just met, probably because of a scarcity mentality. Why is your heart even on the line after just a couple weeks? You literally know nothing about a person in such a short time span. It's just a blip on the radar. Those are girl…
/r/seduction19/02/22 08:04 PM
0

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/63/d3/f6/63d3f673619c5d9040576780f78a0590.gif
/r/seduction18/02/22 05:30 PM
-1

Then quit distracting all of the rookies with this bullshit "observation".
/r/seduction18/02/22 05:21 PM
-1

Then: Talk to girls to get laid regularly Now: Talk to girls to get laid regularly Technology has opened a couple new doors, but the tried and true methods are still tried and true. If you're not happy with the new shit, put your phone down and work on your IRL game.
/r/seduction18/02/22 04:45 PM
2

The way to handle any awkward question is to answer with a level of confidence that shows you're not bothered by the question or the answer. If you want a dash of humor, give an extreme exaggeration. "12, I'm going into 7th grade." or "73. You seem familiar. Did you go to school with my granddaughter?" But whatever you do, finish by answering the question and then asking her the same thing. It's ultimately just a routine getting-to-know-you question, so you should be comfortable answering it str…
/r/seduction13/02/22 03:57 PM
3

This is a pretty good summary, mostly in line with the standard advice here. For more information, search on phrases like "building comfort", "escalating kino", "push/pull". Just remember that all of this stuff happens in the very early stages. If you're still on step 1 after a couple weeks, you're doing it wayyyy wrong.
/r/seduction09/02/22 03:26 PM
2

That's all great, but you're exaggerating greatly. Or you're a fully enlightened Buddhist monk. Are you seriously trying to tell me you don't have any expectations? If your partner disappeared for six months, you wouldn't have any feelings about that at all? And you'd just welcome her back no-questions-asked when she returned? It's great that you're not treating relationship as tit-for-tat transactions, but no expectations at all? I highly doubt that. If you were in a bind and your entire social…
/r/seduction09/02/22 01:48 PM
1

The fact that there's a handy technological tool to help you hide doesn't change the fact that you're intentionally dodging an awkward conversation instead of being direct with her so that she can quickly move on with her life too.
/r/seduction09/02/22 01:40 PM
1

I know you're coming from a perspective of self-ownership and that's a great thing to develop. Also, don't you have any friends? You don't owe anything to random people, but it should be pretty easy to think of social connections where you do build a mutual commitment to each other. It happens in dating too. Ending that commitment with a simple "This isn't going to work out" or whatever is the respectful and assertive way to do it.
/r/seduction09/02/22 12:57 PM
1

I know you're coming from a perspective of self-ownership and that's a great thing to develop. Also, don't you have any friends? You don't owe anything to random people, but it should be pretty easy to think of social connections where you do build a mutual commitment to each other. It happens in dating too. Ending that commitment with a simple "This isn't going to work out" or whatever is the respectful and assertive way to do it.
/r/seduction09/02/22 12:56 PM
1

Who said anything about "responding"? The point is to tell someone when you're breaking things off instead hiding from them for weeks until they figure it out in their own.
/r/seduction09/02/22 12:17 PM
4

You're right that a long-winded rejection isn't usually appropriate. But if you had time to say hello, you can also set aside a couple seconds to say goodbye. That's just basic manners. Well, it used to be.
/r/seduction09/02/22 04:58 AM
2

There are no silver bullets. It's all about repeatedly putting yourself out there and continually improving your inner game.
/r/seduction08/02/22 07:09 PM
7

Of course. Where do you think us old farts came from? This is a new account, but I've been on this sub for a decade. It changed my life. You just have to be willing to put in the work. You won't grow if you don't push out of your comfort zone.
/r/seduction08/02/22 03:40 PM
11

You established a boundary: you don't want to be friends. She's violating it. Have you changed your mind about being friends? If so, great, chat away. If not, you'll need to get firmer with her to get her to stop. If you want to shut it all down quickly, a firm "I told you wasn't interested in being just friends. Please stop trying to make that happen." Or you can just ghost her completely, if you're ok with letting her bang her head against the wall for awhile before she realizes it. The odds o…
/r/seduction08/02/22 01:10 PM
1

Encouragement is good, but it needs to stay in a realistic context. Guys shouldn't fret about fixed characteristics like race, height, etc, but they should work on their conditioning because it will improve their results (and it's good for their mental and physical health anyways). Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
/r/seduction08/02/22 03:50 AM
0

You're the only one using words like "only". Put down your strawman.
/r/seduction08/02/22 02:02 AM
3

You can think whatever you want, but there's an entire library of psych studies demonstrating that physical appearances affect interpersonal behavior. There's a reason that models and salesmen tend to be very attractive.
/r/seduction08/02/22 01:51 AM
10

lol are you really trying to pretend that there aren't women who pursue chiseled men? And even more that are subconsciously more receptive to them? Biology isn't the only thing, but it is a thing. P.S. They ain't really looking for advice. Women use openers too, ya know.
/r/seduction08/02/22 01:13 AM
4

I'm glad you had a good experience. In the grand scheme of things, though, three fun dates is a pretty common thing. It's not uncommon to have three fun months and then realize you're not a good long-term match for each other. Hell, even three years can happen. In other words, working through the feelings of disappointment is something you'll need to learn how to do. It's a fundamental part of dating. If you don't learn how to move on effectively, you're going to end up clinging to a bad match s…
/r/seduction07/02/22 01:05 PM
23

Holding hands is tame, physically. Holding hands is meaningful, emotionally. The appropriateness of it depends entirely on the context and your goals.
/r/seduction06/02/22 10:32 PM
2

Well... What are your intentions? If what you want is a date, you can say that in the first 30 seconds. If you want her to have your baby, you should wait awhile.
/r/seduction06/02/22 02:31 PM
5

It's like getting an expensive gym membership: Lots of advantages... if you make good use of them. If you don't, it's a giant waste of money.
/r/seduction06/02/22 02:16 PM
2

You can't wish emotions away. What you can do, is learn to act in spite of them. The more you do that, the better you'll get at it. Eventually you get good enough at it that bystanders won't notice that you had any inner turmoil.
/r/seduction05/02/22 01:52 PM
0

Don't put a woman in a position that puts her livelihood at risk. Don't put a woman in a position that puts her life at risk. Beyond that, go ahead and let her be a little uncomfortable. Part of the excitement of dating is not knowing what's going to happen next. You lead and trust that she will either follow along or bail.
/r/seduction03/02/22 06:41 PM
1

For sure. You just don't want to do it in a jarring way. You're only a few inches below the average and you're still taller than a lot of women, so you want to convey that. Put yourself next to someone tall and suddenly she's going to mentally round your height down even further. That doesnt help anything. https://www.themoviedb.org/t/p/original/5KpmbScz0BfbDXeoY1qQmBxPE1l.jpg
/r/seduction03/02/22 05:31 PM
2

Maybe "Tall enough to ride the best rides, short enough to fit comfortably on a plane"?
/r/seduction03/02/22 05:23 PM
3

Also, there's probably a way to do it subtly with a picture. You don't want to hit them over the head with it by standing next to a tall friend, but maybe a picture happens to include an object that provides a standard frame of reference. Something that they would only noticed if they lingered long enough to gauge your height on purpose.
/r/seduction03/02/22 05:20 PM
3

It'll probably take some calibration to find the best wording, but you're on the right track. You want to put it out there in a playful, secure way. Maybe use a historical (Napoleon) or pop culture (Lil Wayne) reference? The tricky part is going to be doing it in a way that makes them think you're referring to your dick being small. Unless it's small too, in which case you might want to just embrace the ambiguity so their expectations stay in check. Anyways, there are a lot women out there dont …
/r/seduction03/02/22 05:15 PM
3

Stop stalking her ig for clues. Learn about people by interacting with them. Assume she's single. Flirt, escalate kino. If she has a bf, she'll tell you.
/r/seduction03/02/22 04:20 PM
19

Most nights, yes. It's always easier said than done, though, especially when you're new to dating.
/r/seduction02/02/22 12:44 PM
1

I'm glad you haven't grabbed her and kissed her. That's not how it works. Invite her to do something one-on-one. Then escalate kino (very gradually, since it sounds like you're young). If you're not sure how, read the wiki.
/r/seduction02/02/22 04:06 AM
174

Same as always... You ask her out. If she says yes, you hang out with her and escalate kino. If she says no, you move with your life.
/r/seduction02/02/22 03:56 AM
1

My dating life is going well. I'm here to give back to the community that helped me turn my life around.
/r/seduction01/02/22 06:05 PM
2

Such a terrible mental model Such a terribly common mental model. We've all been there. The important thing is that he's here and he's learning.
/r/seduction01/02/22 03:42 PM
5

Well, yeah, but OP ain't ready to hear that. He needs to shoot his shot and see for himself that she "loves him like a brother" or whatever.
/r/seduction01/02/22 03:19 PM
47

Hol up. You've been texting this girl daily, helping her with her problems and all that. She's been telling you about her hookups for months and you haven't even kissed her? You're her gay bff, man. Her emotional sponge. The harmless guy that she can get attention from whenever she doesn't want to think about sex. I don't care if you date her or not, but you need to hurry up and make a decision months ago. You've already poured wayyyyy too much energy into someone you're only imagining dating.
/r/seduction01/02/22 12:19 PM
1

Right, but the "how" is important. I would much rather struggle ethically than to cheat my way to abundance.
/r/seduction31/01/22 08:40 PM
10

You can 90% of the way there by having an abundant life. Become busy with meaningful activities and you'll have much less time to obsess over women that you shouldn't be obsessing about. Then you'll naturally be less worried about their reactions to shit.
/r/seduction31/01/22 04:10 PM
1

To an extent. It's good to care about others, of course. Your desires matter too, though. That's a topic for another day, though. Today's lesson is "First, do no harm."
/r/seduction31/01/22 03:49 PM
41

most Colombian men will cheat or have multiple women even when the girlfriend or a wife is a 9 or a 10 You realize that's a bad thing, right? If you have to lie to get what you want, you're a trashy used-car salesman. If you have to bully people to get what you want, you're a weak-ass caveman. A truly skilled man... the kind of man this cultural shift is trying to create... is one who works with people to get what he wants. There are billions of people on this planet. Find the ones that want wha…
/r/seduction31/01/22 03:00 PM
0

I've done periods of celibacy before. It's a non-issue. Everything is the same, you just stop when you get to your boundary. It's good to tell her a little bit before you get to the boundary, but she won't believe you until you actually stop.
/r/seduction31/01/22 01:42 PM
1

It doesn't matter what she does. For now, your battle is within yourself.
/r/seduction31/01/22 12:40 PM
3

Take a second and dig deeper. You've talked to people behind masks during the last couple years, right? So you can do it. You just can't do it with a stranger that you're attracted to. You don't need to think of an opener when you see family member, do you? You just go up to them and start chatting. What's the difference? Fear of rejection. The mask-wearing cashier isn't going to tell you you're not good enough to buy groceries from her. You're the customer and she's going to do her job. There's…
/r/seduction30/01/22 11:05 PM
13

Are you approaching women? They're not going to come to you.
/r/seduction30/01/22 03:19 PM
2

You're probably just dealing with a "hired gun"... It's literally her job to be friendly and keep guys coming back. But there's no harm in it. Shoot your shot and then you'll know for sure. When you're done with that, focus on women who are NOT financially obligated to talk to you.
/r/seduction29/01/22 04:03 AM
3

Never pay for a woman's attention. Do you think she would pay for yours? A healthy relationship is one where both people value each other.
/r/seduction29/01/22 03:59 AM
3

Of course it's possible. It happens every day. But if your game is so bad that you can't even fathom someone liking you that quickly, you shouldn't be wasting your time thinking about this. Work on improving your game and let the results happen as a consequence.
/r/seduction29/01/22 03:36 AM
5

Been chasing this girl 3 years. Don't ever do that again. It rarely works and even if it did... do you really want to be in relationship with someone who took years of convincing to give you a chance? You want to be with someone who wants to be with you. I know things are gonna get worse What's going to get worse? You shot your shot and now you know how she feels. The hard part is finally over. Now you move on with your life.
/r/seduction28/01/22 11:51 PM
53

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.” ― Mark Twain Perhaps the swipe wasn't the problem. Perhaps she was upset because you rudely ignored her. Learning how to handle awkward situations with grace is an important social skill.
/r/seduction28/01/22 05:11 PM
1

Click the link. It was all discussed yesterday.
/r/seduction27/01/22 04:15 AM
2

The mixed answers you're getting are probably because of targeting issues. https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/scjdkc/comment/hu6nnn8/
/r/seduction27/01/22 02:38 AM
8

They never take me seriously. It's obviously a joke. Even if size is super important to them, they're just gonna respond with "No really, how big?" Then you can tell them the actual answer if you want. Bigger issue is that you need to realize that there's no perfect answer to ANY question. Every word that comes out of your mouth is going to attract some women and repel others. So quit trying to to cover all of the angles. Are you trying to attract size queens? Probably not, so it doesn't fucking…
/r/seduction26/01/22 05:24 PM
5

If we're actually sexting, I'll give a sexy answer, but if it's just a little pre-date flirtation, I'll playfully insult myself. It's always good for a laugh and it keeps her wondering. "Tiny and it's usually over in a minute or two... when I can get it up."
/r/seduction26/01/22 04:58 PM
1

You want to be at the upper end of "normal", which is 25. The key for appearances is that you want that little bit of extra weight to be muscle, not fat. You'll look really good with 15% body fat. So... You're already at the right weight. Just start lifting. 🏋️
/r/seduction26/01/22 03:08 PM
3

In the initial approach? A simple "Nice meeting you, have a good night!" will do the job.
/r/seduction26/01/22 03:41 AM
1

You're about at the end of the "honeymoon period", so she might be realizing that there isn't enough compatibility between you. If that's the case, try to look past the pain and remember that these decisions usually work out best for BOTH people. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks you're "good enough, I guess". You want to be with someone who is EXCITED to be with you.
/r/seduction26/01/22 03:30 AM
11

Both. It's all about calibration, man. You do all of the things and you fine-tune them based on a combination of your goals and her reactions. And most importantly, you always have to be willing to walk away if there isn't enough compatibility between the two of you.
/r/seduction26/01/22 03:08 AM
19

Do you honestly think there's an easy little secret that will change your life? C'mon, man. Achievement is a skill, like anything else. The more you set goals and work diligently towards them, the better you'll get at the process.
/r/seduction25/01/22 08:54 PM
3

The book cover metaphor is a good one. Now tell me... have you ever seen a fishing book that wasn't covered with fishing-related words and images? I sure haven't. There might be a million fish that you can catch with worms, but if pike is what you're after, you better use a spinner lure. Choose your audience first, then your bait.
/r/seduction25/01/22 07:56 PM
5

The problem with this approach is that it doesnt account for QUALITY of matches. Most women might be sick of seeing dudes holding up a dead fish, but if I'm an avid fisherman, I don't give a damn about the ratings and opinions of "most women". I only care about the women who appreciate fishing. This is marketing 101. Ya gotta choose your audience before you start crafting your pitch. (Unless you're just trying to get your dick wet. Then you should blindly cater to the masses.)
/r/seduction25/01/22 06:25 PM
2

Depends entirely on the effort you put into it.
/r/seduction25/01/22 04:50 PM
2

Sobriety is a good thing, congrats!!! Alcohol throws a quick gag in the asshole voice, but overall, that's a fool's game. Ya gotta learn how to overrule that voice on your own and it sounds like you've already taken the first major step. Well done!! 🙌 I'm old as fuck and I was already older than you when I started to take this stuff seriously. Stop worrying about ages and start doing things. Throw darts at maps and bucket list websites if you have to. Start living outside of your comfort zone sa…
/r/seduction25/01/22 03:33 AM
7

Yeah, you do. There are two voices in your head... One telling you to do stuff and one telling you that it's a bad idea. It's like Fight Club only less insane. Stop listening to the asshole voice that's telling you not to do stuff. Go do that thing that you're curious about. Accept the random invitations that you get. Go talk to the girl that caught your eye for some reason. Just keep throwing shit at the wall until you see what sticks.
/r/seduction25/01/22 03:17 AM
7

You... and everybody else in this sub, my friend. Drop the word "easily" from you vocabulary. This shit is hard, but you can do hard things.
/r/seduction25/01/22 03:09 AM
9

Running is a great hobby and it only hurts your joints if you do it stupidly. /R/running/ of course Or anything else. Fuck stereotypes. Find what works for YOU. Whatever you're doing now doesn't seem to be working, though, so you gotta keep searching for the right answers. P.S. Cry when you want to cry, cuz again, fuck stereotypes! Your emotions contain a lot of good answers. Listen to them
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:56 AM
3

Yeah, even soft rejections are rejections and rejections are never fun. Ya just gotta learn not to take it personally. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you, do you? Keep putting in the work and eventually you'll start meeting the women who are excited about what you bring to the table. Until then... Patience and progress.
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:49 AM
3

It's markdown, then. It's interpreting the first two as italics delimiters. Use a slash prefix to get a literal star.
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:45 AM
18

Active hobbies are great. Quit wasting your life and get some.
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:42 AM
-5

Maybe markdown fucked with your code, but I only see one item that starts with a star. 🤷‍♂️
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:39 AM
15

You're right to be skeptical of women that aren't making an effort. You need to lead, but you're only supposed to carry the first few minutes. If she doesn't get in the game, let her go. Your life is too valuable to waste it barking up the wrong trees.
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:36 AM
-12

It's scary that this sub is upvoting a cryptic way of saying, "I'll chase anything that's legal." SMH
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:34 AM
14

How does a person not have hobbies? Are you sleeping 16 hours a day? What are you doing when there isn't someone telling you what to do? Tv, Reddit, TikTok, whatever. Those are your hobbies. Now, are those hobbies making you happy? If not, you need to start a new hobby right away. If you're not sure where to start, your new hobby should be "finding a new hobby".
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:30 AM
6

Appreciate the summary, but that book is a really easy read, especially on audiobook that's probably available through your local digital library. If you're serious about personal growth, don't shortchange yourself by reading only the bumper sticker.
/r/seduction25/01/22 02:18 AM
6

Do you want to be the kind of person who can comfortably approach anyone that interests you? Build those social skills. Do you want to be the kind of person that can comfortably express his sexuality? Build that confidence. Do you want to be in good health? Build that body. There are plenty of internal motivations that will also lead to good external results.
/r/seduction24/01/22 09:50 PM
2

"good friend"? What are you basing that on? You know nothing about op's social circle or what he's looking for in a friend. You don't even know if he has time for a new friend.
/r/seduction24/01/22 03:41 PM
1

For an acquaintance, I'll handle things exactly like you are. Polite responses, but clearly uninterested. If she ever offers an invitation, I'd immediately clarify it as a date before accepting. That way she knows my intentions haven't changed and she can decide whether or not hers have. For random women that aren't in my social circle, I'm a bit more direct. I'd be going over the top with sexual innuendo in my text responses so that she quickly gets that message that she shouldn't even be tryin…
/r/seduction24/01/22 03:26 PM
2

Ya gotta push past the fear. https://totallyadd.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/embarrassment-is-the-cost-of-entry-motivational-meme-Ed-Latimore.jpg
/r/seduction23/01/22 05:52 AM
6

Major improvements are always slower than you'd want. That's why most people don't follow through with them. The time is going to pass either way, though. One day you're going to wake up on your 40th birthday. What do you want that day to be like? Focus on doing the things that will make that day possible.
/r/seduction23/01/22 04:44 AM
8

If you want to date her, ask her on a date. Always. Nothing good comes from that whole "pretend to be 'just friends' for awhile" thing. Always be honest about your intentions. Edit: you don't necessarily have to use the "date" word, but don't try to pretend like it's not a day either. There's nothing wrong with a little Heisenberg Uncertainty (on her end), but if the situation ever needs to be clarified, make sure it's clarified as "a date". If she's not down for that, you want to find out befor…
/r/seduction23/01/22 03:28 AM
30

Even on dating apps, you can never be 💯 sure she's single, so you just have to learn to live with the uncertainty. There's only on way to ask: by asking. I like to use an open-ended question such as, "We should ____. How's your schedule looking?" If she's interested, she'll tell you when her next opportunity is. If she's not, you'll get some vague excuse. If you get vague excuses a few times in a row, you'll know to quit wasting your time on her.
/r/seduction23/01/22 03:12 AM
142

The right women will be receptive to you. But you still have to initiate 95% of the time.
/r/seduction21/01/22 09:52 PM
6

What do you want? If you find yourself wanting to get her to understand you, to see things how you see them, to act in a way that would be less painful for you... Well, she's probably not going to. She's already had opportunities to do that, right? She probably won't seize the next opportunity either. If you find yourself wanting to vent, to express your hurt feelings... She's probably not going to give you the support that you deserve. Share those feelings with a mate instead. If you find yours…
/r/seduction21/01/22 01:26 PM
3

If you truly want to understand the paradoxes that you're running into, study some psychology and learn how to have better, deeper conversations. A lot of the mysteries go away once you understand a person's underlying fears and desires. But the bigger thing... Stop worrying about what you think they want you to be. Your focus should be on being the man that YOU want to be. It's your life, man. Live it YOUR way.
/r/seduction21/01/22 04:50 AM
1

You're in the right place. Read the wiki and practice, practice, practice. https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/wiki/index/
/r/seduction19/01/22 08:39 PM
9

Don't do shit at work. If you want to date her, ask her out and escalate on the date. P.S. You're not her superior, are you? If so, stop everything. You don't want to go there.
/r/seduction19/01/22 07:42 PM
23

Touch. Read up on kino escalation.
/r/seduction19/01/22 06:09 PM
6

Is it unusual? Yeah, it's unusual. Unless you're the middle-aged alcoholic that goes to the same bar every day to hide from the fact that he hates his life. But that doesn't matter to you. What you want to know is if it's ok for you to go out to bars to build your life. Yes, you can. Just be careful that you don't become the middle-aged alcoholic that knows everybody in one bar. You want to be the guy that can walk into any bar and get to know anybody. That's a skill that will serve you well. So…
/r/seduction16/01/22 04:27 AM
10

Flirt. Meet. Escalate kino. Sex. If you don't know how to do those things, you need to stop getting ahead of yourself and focus on the basics. Read the wiki, practice a lot, and ask more detailed questions.
/r/seduction14/01/22 09:00 PM
14

Yeah, flakes are a fact of life these days. As annoying as it is, I try to look at it as a time-saver. If she's bringing that little effort to the equation, better to find out about it before wasting time on a date.
/r/seduction14/01/22 05:19 PM
30

If I'm not busy, I'll go out on a first date with practically anybody. You'll miss out on a lot of good books if you judge them by their cover.
/r/seduction14/01/22 05:03 PM
1

This is where inner game is crucial: It's ok to turn some people off. You WANT to turn some people off. If there's something that's important to you and it turns a woman off, she wasn't the right woman for you. It's good to find that out quickly so you don't waste time barking up the wrong tree. The right women will be supportive of anything that helps make sex better for everybody.
/r/seduction14/01/22 04:57 PM
44

Regarding consent? Absolutely. I don't want to sleep with someone who might regret it in the morning. Regarding partners... I'm a bit more flexible. I'm not going to get very serious with someone who is anything less than a great match for me, but I'll happily have flings with anyone that's fun to be around.
/r/seduction14/01/22 04:52 PM
6

Don't expect sex on any date You never demand sex. She never owes you sex. It is always optional. But let's not be silly... Sex is a pretty standard part of the adult dating world. Of course you can have expectations about it. You can even set boundaries around it, like OP is doing. Men aren't obligated to spend time in a relationship that isn't satisfying their desires.
/r/seduction14/01/22 04:43 PM
3

"disagreeable" is not a good thing.
/r/seduction14/01/22 04:34 PM
3

Yeah, 3 dates is a reasonable expectation. There are plenty of women who will want to wait longer, but it's your prerogative to walk away on your own terms. P.S. Your life will probably improve if you work on that abrasive personality of yours. It's possible to set boundaries without being a dick.
/r/seduction14/01/22 04:09 PM
43

That's a safe assumption for 90% of the guys here. It's a learning sub, after all.
/r/seduction13/01/22 06:06 PM
2

Compatibility is important in everything. It's great if you both like to play cards... unless you're into poker and she's into pinochle. Gardening is great... unless she wants flowers and you want vegetables. Traveling is great... unless you want to explore new cultures and she just wants to sit on her favorite beach. You don't have to agree on everything, of course, but if you want to do things with someone, it's a hell of a lot more fun when you want to do them in similar ways.
/r/seduction13/01/22 04:33 PM
634

Cool, now you know those are all dead ends. Now you can move on and focus on meeting new women.
/r/seduction13/01/22 03:04 PM
1

It's like anything else... It's really hard at first and it's usually an ugly fail. But if you keep putting in the reps, it gradually gets easier and your results get better.
/r/seduction11/01/22 04:55 AM
1

Same as anywhere else. In our society, women are generally much more in tune with their emotions than men, so I don't know why you'd assume they're hard to find. You just have to be patient enough to reject the ones that arent. Personally, I've found that I'm physically attracted to a far greater range of women than my younger self ever would have imagined. Social conditioning is powerful, but brain chemistry is even stronger in the long run. If the relationship is strong, she'll always be beaut…
/r/seduction10/01/22 04:51 PM
4

On the longer timeline? Conflict resolution style and skills, which should be on everybody's list. More specific to me, I care a lot about personal growth, particularly inner/emotional growth, so I need to see that she's willing to grapple with her feelings rather than shoving them in a closet.
/r/seduction10/01/22 01:05 PM
2

Yes, I reexamine things all the time. I didn't end up in this sub by accident. I'm no rookie anymore, but I still have a lot to learn about myself and what kind relationship works best for me. As for the time... I'm looking for a relationship that can last decades. Spending the first few years with an evaluating eye is a small price to pay.
/r/seduction10/01/22 12:52 PM
0

My general approach is the same with every woman. I focus on getting to know her and figuring out how well she matches up with my personality and life goals. If/when* I find a dealbreaker, I have an honest conversation with her about what's off the table and what (if anything) is still an option. * So far there's always been a dealbreaker. Sometimes it takes years to find, sometimes only a few minutes.
/r/seduction10/01/22 03:48 AM
135

If you're fucking new people just for the sake of fucking new people, you're right that your dating life probably won't magically become meaningful. You get out of it what you put into it. I'm sleeping around plenty, but I'm also paying attention for signs of compatibility. When things look promising, I put in progressively more time and emotional investment to see if there's a chance at something deep. The sex is great, but it's really just a consolation prize while I methodically pursue my lon…
/r/seduction09/01/22 09:59 PM
134

That's definitely a legit story that happens all too often. I have my own version of it. Most of us do. There are happier ways for it to end, but it takes healthy boundaries, good two-way communication, and plenty of emotional work. Most people don't want to put in the work, though. Often it's better for everyone to simply cut ties so you have the space to grieve in your own way.
/r/seduction07/01/22 05:02 PM
6

I read a lot of personal development books and this one probably had the most profound impact on. Decades of improvement stemming from its lessons. It's the kind of book you should reread every 5-10 years. Habits 1, 2, 3, and 7 are crucial to accomplishing goals. 4, 5, and 6 are great for maintaining healthy relationships with people. Habit 4 is huuuuge for your inner game. The concept of "win/win (or walk away)" is the attitude you should be bringing into any dating situation. It's the essence …
/r/seduction07/01/22 01:22 PM
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