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LiftDriveRock Archive

View 0 posts and 111 comments by LiftDriveRock on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

OYS #31 - When it rains, it pours Mission: Beauty, wealth, people. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 163 lbs (-1), body fat 15.4% (Navy method, -0.8%), SQ 3x285 lbs, BP 1x160 lbs, Press 2x132 lbs, DL 2x340 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there). Currently re-reading SGM and TWOTSM and watching Jordan Peterson's Personality and its transformations YouTube series. Lifted 1x, went for a run and to MMA class. Re-injur…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/26 10:13 AM
1

Oh, sure. My mission is a lot more detailed than the three words I share here.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/26 05:22 PM
2

Doing this has changed my life and my outlook immensely. When I first found this place, I was really low. My marriage was horrible. Since then, there were strong improvements, and relapses, and, finally, a breakthrough. I will never suffer a dead bedroom again. Why am I still here? Because I want more. There are levels to this. I have "decent" now. I want "awesome". There was a guy here once who at some point declared that he had gotten what he wanted out of MRP and was therefore leaving this pl…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/26 04:20 PM
1

I appreciate the poking and prodding. I merely meant to say that, at that particular moment, I was exhausted from too much work and too little (and poor) sleep. It would have felt better at that moment to sit on the couch instead but still did what I needed to get done. Nothing heroic here, just being an adult. I'm past living in the future. I live my life in the now. That mindset shift has been a game changer for me. That said, my workload fluctuates between reasonable and unreasonable, with ea…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/26 04:50 AM
1

Thank you for the observation. That’s interesting. I thought that I was merely expressing that the same circumstances (kids waking up several times every night etc.) were affecting us both in the same way. But maybe it does go deeper than that. Will think about this more.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/26 09:06 AM
3

OYS #30 - Living in the now Mission: Beauty, wealth, people. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 164 lbs (-1), body fat 16.2% (Navy method, -0.8%), SQ 3x285 lbs, BP 1x160 lbs, Press 2x132 lbs, DL 2x340 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently re-reading SGM and TWOTSM and watching Jordan Peterson's Personality and its transformations YouTube series. Lifted 3x (back…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/26 08:53 AM
1

OYS #29 - Contentment Mission: Beauty, wealth, people. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 165 lbs (unchanged), body fat 17% (Navy method, unchanged). SQ 5x275 lbs, BP 4x155 lbs, Press 3x125 lbs, DL 3x330 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently re-reading SGM and TWOTSM and watching Jordan Peterson's Personality and its transformations YouTube series. Lifted 2x, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/26 09:30 PM
1

OYS #28 - Steady progress Mission: Beauty, wealth, people. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 165 lbs (-3). SQ 5x275 lbs, BP 4x155 lbs, Press 3x125 lbs, DL 3x330 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently re-reading SGM and watching Jordan Peterson's Personality and its transformations YouTube series. Lifted 4x and attended weekly MMA class. Lost the three pounds I …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/26 08:46 PM
1

On the other hand, you are the enforcer, but the stupid one how shouts and lashes at his kids. Chill the fuck down. Dominance doesn't need to be loud. I wrote a primer about kids, read it. Thank you. I actually had read it a while ago and will re-read it. The 1-2-3-magic book I have read, too, and had it implemented. It worked well, then my wife decided to replace it with something else. Which does not work. I need to lead and take back the helm.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/26 05:46 AM
2

OYS #27 - Introspection & successful failure Mission: Beauty, wealth, people. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 167 lbs (+2). SQ 5x275 lbs, BP 4x155 lbs, Press 3x125 lbs, DL 3x330 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently re-reading SGM. Ordered The Untethered Soul and Molecules, both recommended by Blarg last week. As I want to study and practice game, I dug up m…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/26 03:51 PM
1

Understood. Your responses to my OYSs have been a huge help. Thank you so much for that. And at whatever point you decide to chime in again, know that it will be most appreciated.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/26 08:11 PM
1

I'm not sure I follow. The post you linked to talks about a man with a task (provide his family with water) and a way to get it done (daily long walks to - he thinks - nearest well). There is a more efficient method, as there is a suitable spot to dig a well close nearby, which would significantly reduce the effort required for him to complete his task. But our man has grown to appreciate and actually enjoy his daily walks and, through them, he has developed some usefull skills. You then raise t…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/26 12:49 PM
1

You aren't a man who fucks, you just got your dick wet. Not bad, but you are just starting. A man who fucks is a man who gives sex, and knows how to enjoy himself. You are still getting sex from your wife, and fuckin her in her frame. You are correct. That's an important point. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/26 04:47 PM
2

Thank you for that. Time and again, what you writes resonates with me. I have taken my time to read it several times and think about it deeply. You are right. I wondered in my OYS what the next thing for me to do is. It is deciding what I want, own that decision, and lead my wife and family. Unfucking myself was about me, and only me. Now, it is not only about me anymore, but also about leading my wife and kids, and others. Is my wife fucking me enough, considering the big picture? I don't like …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/26 04:43 PM
3

OYS #26 - Uneasy smooth sailing Mission: Beauty, wealth, people. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 165 lbs. SQ 5x275 lbs, BP 4x155 lbs, Press 3x125 lbs, DL 3x330 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently re-reading SGM. Lifted 4x, went to weekly MMA class. I am continuing a slow cut in order to lean out for the summer at about 2,000 cals per day, a bit more on the…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/26 11:15 AM
-2

OYS #XX - Forced hiatus Checking in for the sake of maintaining the streak of OYSs. Nothing to report this week - at first my wife was sick, then I got sick. Focusing on recovery. Will be back next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/26 12:26 PM
1

It's a personal milestone coming up in roughly five months. I see where you're coming from. It's easy to bullshit oneself with vague deadlines and vague criteria to determine whether goals or expectations were met. My criterion for staying is whether the relationship has developed into one with a strong foundation of love, affection and sex, or at the very least has made great strides towards it (as discussed last week, I fully agree with your comment from last week that a relationship is about …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 07:11 AM
0

OYS #25 - Reinforced frame Mission: To be a man who builds and protects his empire, who leads and fucks. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 168 lbs. SQ 3x5 260 lbs, BP 3x5 140 lbs, Press 3x5 105 lbs, DL 1x5 320 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently listening to Rollo Tomassi's Player's Handbook. About 2/3 done. Lifted 1x, no cardio, no MMA class because of my h…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/26 09:33 AM
1

Thank you for your reply. The following part was eye-opening and very helpful: (quote did not work - I mean the one about “ruthless” authenticity. Will try to fix the quote later) What I meant to emphasize was the complete disregard of other people's opinions. But my wording gave away that my "authenticity" is still dependent on others opinions in the sense that it seeks to differentiate itself from them. This also ties in with my intention last week to "establish" my frame with my wife, rather …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/26 06:56 PM
1

Thank you for the clarification. I get most of it and would like to make sure I fully get this part: But also to be a bit pedantic I think we have to move the goalposts just a bit and say that ultimately he doesn't want to be a guy who fucks. Ultimately he wants to be a guy who does the things that invites the woman he wants to be with to fuck. Of course there's a lot of hidden meaning in "does the things" (what things?) and "he wants to be with" (what makes him want that? what qualities does th…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/26 06:33 PM
1

My interpretation of the explanation was, essentially, that who you really are on the inside only imperfectly translates to what happens in the outside world. If you're incongruent, the real you does not translate into corresponding actions. Then your outside behavior does not match the real you. You might also be delusional about yourself, about what your real you is like. Then there is no incongruence. Rather, your real you matches your outside behavior. But then, the real you is different fro…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/26 08:04 AM
1

Understood. Yes, I could have pushed more.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/26 07:41 PM
1

Understood. Thank you for the comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/26 07:40 PM
1

Thank you, u/HornsOfApathy. No, I don't think I have arrived anywhere yet. I haven't. I will probably determine that when I make my decision whether I stay with my wife or leave her, and that is completely open. That said, taking the decision to leave if my needs aren't met, rather than suck it up, has been huge (for me). Now, the quote from Fight Club is quoted above ("I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom") is true for me. I have not arrived anywhere yet. But I now have the freedom to g…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/26 07:39 PM
1

u/FutileFighter: Thank you for your comment. Tbh, this seems reductive. You seem to want to be showered with affection more than anything else. That's not attractive, it's needy and validation-oriented. I agree it's reductive and there is much more to a relationship. What I meant to say that this is the bare minimum - if one of those three are missing, there is no relationship. Once you have those, it's time for the next level. It's kind of a Maslow's hierarchy of needs thinking.It doesn't as su…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/26 07:29 PM
1

u/Teh1whoSees, I am going to reply here to all of your posts in one place. Because I think it is all interconnected. Indeed I feel like Neo in the beginning of Matrix. Something big (for me) is happening, I don't know what it is precisely, I am confused. But, to stay with the Matrix lingo, I'm finally ready to go down the rabbit hole and see how deep it goes. Or, to go with Fight Club: I found freedom - losing all hope was freedom. As regards your mental model "you aren't what you do. You're who…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/26 07:12 PM
2

OYS #24 - Battle for frame? Mission: To be a man who builds, protects, leads and fucks. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 167 lbs. SQ 3x5 260 lbs, BP 3x5 140 lbs, Press 3x5 105 lbs, DL 1x5 320 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Finished listening to Rian Stone's Praxeology Vol. 4 for the second time back to back - great book. Started listening to Rollo Tommassi's Pla…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/26 08:59 AM
2

Well, yes and no. This is the first time that I am actually prepared to pull the trigger if my expectations are not met, and she has realized that. But whether she actually wants to be the type of woman that I desire in my life, or whether she is just scared of me leaving (i.e. hysterical bonding), I don’t know yet. That remains to be seen and is up to her. I will act accordingly.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/26 03:55 PM
1

OYS #23 - Breakthrough or hysterical bonding? Mission: To be a man who builds, protects, leads and fucks. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school. 5'9'', 167 lbs. SQ 3x5 240 lbs, BP 3x5 135 lbs, Press 3x5 100 lbs, DL 1x5 295 lbs. I have read pretty much the entire sidebar (except for a few of the books listed there) and am working my way through it yet again. Currently listening to Rian Stone's Praxeology Vol. 4 for the second time back to back. If you're interested in my Batman o…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/26 01:04 PM
1

Yes. I have talked to a divorce lawyer and can pull the trigger any day if I have to.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 09:29 PM
1

Thank you for this, FF. I have taken some time to reply because what you wrote really made me think deeply. You are spot on. If I am honest, I work hard on myself from a David-Goggins-type mindset of "no one is coming to save me; therefore, I must suffer, prove my worth every day and suck it up to be valuable". This mindset may serve as motivation, but it presupposes that, no matter how good I am, I can never be good enough. It doesn't allow one to be self-accepting and to be open and vulnerable…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/26 10:23 AM
-2

Thank you for your reply. And I can tell that you took the effort to look through my old posts, as well, so thank you for that, too. "Manlet" seems a little harsh but I agree I will look better with 15 additional pounds of muscle on my frame. Care to explain why you think I'm a pussy? Because I'm afraid (here, I admit it) of leaving my kids?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 05:20 PM
1

You're right. That looks very bad. It shows a long time period of me not being able to turn things around and might be all the signs for me to finally realize that this marriage is over. Thank you for making the effort to look through my old posts.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 05:19 PM
1

Jesus Christ. I was worried about what psychological harm my leaving might do to them. It didn't occur to me that my NOT leaving may fuck them up just as well. Care to clarify what you mean by saying that I have not taken ownership of anything? So far, I have decided to stay despite several miserable years because I wanted to avoid the psychological damage my leaving might do to my kids. I own that. The decision was mine and the consequences were mine to bear, as well. I am frustrated with the s…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 05:18 PM
3

OYS #22 It has been a while since my last OYS, which I posted in November 2023. Mission: To be a man who builds, protects, leads and fucks. Early 40s, married 12 yrs, 2 kids in elementary school In the course of my MRP journey, I have done the following: Read the entire sidebar (all of the articles, most of the books, most of it more than once; currently re-reading everything from beginning to finish and am now at the TRP sidebar), fixed my looks including getting teeth straightened, fixed my wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 08:40 AM
1

Yes, I STFU and try to lead by example. That has worked really well in some instances but utterly failed in others. E.g. I have not been able to get her to start working out, even after doing it myself for years. I completely agree with Tines0. Women hate criticism because it implies that outcomes are direct consequences of their actions and that they are responsible for said actions. It feels much better for their little egos to claim that them being overweight is a (implied: unalterable) resul…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 06:20 PM
2

I'm looking forward to reading TheodoreChadsworth's OYS later and having another look at PFP and MMSLP. My experience has confirmed the phrase "the male grows by challenge (or criticism), the female grows by praise". Some of my wife's behavior is annoying the fuck out of me and has done so for years. Criticism has not improved it one bit.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 06:37 AM
3

Sure – from various conversations with her I had gotten the impression that I had gone too far into DNGAF mode, too critical, too harsh/direct, too cold. That she felt that I didn’t even like her. That alpha (Rambo?) style led to her rejecting me less, but the sex was the shittiest sex of my life. I put a lot of thought into determining whether what she said were shit tests / bullshit, and some were, but at the end of the day I decided that I should soften my approach. So I sprinkled in a bunch …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/23 04:58 PM
2

OYS #21 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 169 lbs (unchanged from last week), body fat 16.1% (-0.7), together ~15 years, married ~8 years, 2 kids (one schoolkid, one preschooler). Mission: To live life as my own version of the Nietzschean Übermensch (radically life-affirming, living life on my own terms and following my own rules, striving for greatness in all things important to me, creating, embracing my will to power). Reading: David Shade’s The Secrets of Female Sexuality (20% done). Perused last week’s…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/23 12:34 PM
1

You misrepresented pretty much everything I wrote.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/23 08:11 PM
1

You're right, my last sentence was dumb. Apologies. Maybe it is indeed the way to become more like the stereotypical buddhist monk who is in total control of his desires. If you don't need anything from any woman - the power would be all yours.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/23 07:54 PM
0

I skimmed a few of your OYSs. It seems to me that you are either like a buddhist monk with total self-control over your desires (I'm referring to you turning down / ignoring what seems to me a female version of initiating sex several times - because you didn't like how she said it or you felt like she was trying to control you with sex). Or you just have much lower libido than me.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/23 09:44 PM
0

I disagree with that comment - or maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean. In that case, please clarify. Masturbation is not about sexual validation. You can hardly interpret jerking off as an external event proving to yourself or anyone else that you are an attractive, desirable man. While sex can be for validation or sexual release, masturbation is only about the latter. And what does that have to do with the amount of energy available for self-improvement? If anything, I can focus better if …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/23 04:49 PM
2

OYS #20 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 169 lbs (-1), together ~15 years, married ~8 years, 2 kids (one schoolkid, one preschooler). Mission: To live life as my own version of the Nietzschean Übermensch (radically life-affirming, living life on my own terms and following my own rules, striving for greatness in all things important to me, creating, embracing my will to power). Reading: Completed the goal-setting exercises from Gary Keller’s The ONE Thing, which I had finished reading last week. It turns ou…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 10:19 PM
1

Thanks for your comment. Very helpful. I think you’re spot on. By now, I‘m somewhat ok with being turned down once, but ngl - I get annoyed when turned down several times in a row. I find it hard to think about sex to which she only reluctantly agrees as a gift to her. That said, it is indeed a gift to her insofar as I‘m not fucking someone else instead. There are a lot of shit tests for sure. However, I have to concede that my style of communication is very masculine and direct, which can come …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 09:54 AM
1

OYS #19 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, together ~15 years, married ~8 years, 2 kids (one schoolkid, one preschooler). Mission: I have been thinking about this a lot last week. While what I wrote previously (putting all my effort in maximizing health, wealth and relationships, and enjoying life to the max) is what’s most important to me, it lacks the all-encompassing scope of a life’s mission. I have come up with: To live life as my own version of the Nietzschean Übermensch (radically life-affirm…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 10:27 PM
1

I can see where you're coming from as regards the covert contract. On the rest: The reason why I'm here is to fix the underlying issue.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/23 07:23 AM
1

OYS #18 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, together ~15 years, married ~8 years, 2 kids (one schoolkid, one preschooler). Mission: Be the absolute best I can be in the realms of fitness/health, wealth, people/relationships and enjoy the hell out of life. Reading: Have read the entire sidebar, most of it several times, and most books listed there. Still currently reading The Tactical Guide to Women. Fitness/health: When I last posted an OYS 1 ½ years ago before returning to MRP this October, my stats…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/23 09:57 AM
1

Thank you. Also, STFU = don't DEER.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/23 03:28 PM
1

I'm not reluctant to fuck her if she's in a bad or bitchy mood - rather, I'm reluctant to initiate because I expect rejection, and a particularly harsh rejection at that. I shouldn't care about getting rejected, but I have to admit that I do.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/23 03:21 PM
1

I agree, and that is an interesting comment for one particular reason: Most of the time, she won't let me make her cum. It has been months. No idea if there is some fear of losing control or whatever.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/23 09:07 AM
1

OYS #17 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, together ~15 years, married ~8 years, 2 kids (one schoolkid, one preschooler). I posted my last OYS in May 2022 and I am taking up posting again to keep me accountable and to give my marriage one last chance before I nuke it. My backstory, in a nutshell, is: The first five years of our relationship were wonderful – lots of fun together, lots of sex with her down to do pretty much anything I wanted, lots of closeness, all the good stuff. Then things went dow…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/23 08:58 PM
2

OYS #16 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, Squat 4x303, Deadlift 3x347, Bench 3x176. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Mission: To be an assertive, daring, attractive and masculine man, to do meaningful work, to have meaningful relationships and to savor life. Readings: Finished 1-2-3 Magic and started implementing it. It is working quite well; however, the book was a pain to read. The content could have been succinctly summarized in 10 pages, but the…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/22 08:56 AM
1

Rollo does not explain how thinking you could do something you haven't done before is irrational. Given a person's character, intelligence and previous experience, it may be perfectly rational to assume that that person can figure a certain thing out. Being irrational means disregarding reality. RP is about seeing things the way they are - harsh, rough, heartless and ugly as that may be, and to deal with them accordingly. The reality may be that your wife loves to be woken up by you roughly grab…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/22 09:41 AM
2

If you back it up by your successes, I don't see what's irrational about it. I'd really be grateful if someone could elaborate on the concept. What is the difference between being a delusional idiot (bad) and irrational self-confidence (good)?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/22 07:36 PM
1

So are we still talking about "irrational" confidence - or rather about giving yourself credit where credit is due?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/22 04:19 PM
3

OYS #15 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, Squat 4x303, Deadlift 3x347, Bench 3x176 (note: weight and lifts are from a few weeks back – I had to take a break from lifting due to an injury and just started lifting again). Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Currently reading 1-2-3 Magic and re-reading Ray Dalio’s principles; Caleb Jones’s The Unchained Man is still sitting on my bookshelf, as well. Mission: To be an attractive, masculine man, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/22 09:41 AM
1

Thank you for that. I have come up with something and will report back in my next OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/22 06:49 AM
1

Hahaha... to fucking kill it by doing the things one level below ;-)
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/22 07:16 PM
1

OYS #14 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, Squat 4x303, Deadlift 3x347, Bench 3x176 (note: weight and lifts are from a few weeks back – I hurt my back lifting, haven’t lifted since and haven’t been disciplined with my nutrition, see below). Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Currently re-reading Ray Dalio’s principles, reading Caleb Jones’s The Unchained Man and watching Rian Stone’s sidebar series on his YouTube channel. Finished Jocko Willi…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 07:00 PM
1

If I go one level up, I would say my mission is to be a business rockstar, savoring the good life on my own terms, together with great people. This sums up the essence of my big seven mentioned above.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/22 06:43 PM
1

Nope. Goals are things you can check off once you‘ve reached them - e.g. bench 225 for 5 reps. A mission would be something much more long term - e.g. strive to achieve and maintain excellent physical condition for the rest of your life. My list of seven is missions.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/22 06:53 AM
2

OYS #13 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, Squat 4x303, Deadlift 3x347, Bench 3x176. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Currently reading Caleb Jones’s The Unchained Man and Roosh’s Game. I also found Rian Stone’s sidebar series on his YouTube channel – I knew his channel but not this series. It’s gold. Mission: I have been pondering what my mission is for a long time (> six months) and have come up with a comprehensive list of seven missions…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 10:39 AM
1

OYS #12 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, Squat 4x303, Deadlift 3x340, Bench 3x173. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Back from a Rule 9 ban (plus a few weeks of an additional hiatus from posting). In my last OYS, I reported how I let me wife know that I – in a nutshell – will either have a great relationship with her, or none at all, and that that if she’s not interested in a great relationship, I am out. Since then, her attitude has changed dramati…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 10:12 PM
-2

Haha... not quite, but I can see where you got that impression. When I wrote my first OYS seven months ago, I had been lurking and taking action for about a year, intensifying my effort in the last couple of those months. That effort has increased since I started posting OYSs, even though I don't post OYSs every week. I don't list everything I have read in my OYSs, but only the current readings and the ones just finished. I have read all linked posts and articles on the entire sidebar, several o…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 10:10 AM
0

OYS #11 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, Squat 6x297, Deadlift 6x330, Bench 6x165. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). So, Saturday night was the night. I sat my wife down and told her that I want a divorce. That if I have to choose between a shitty relationship or no relationship, I’m out. That I want nothing more than being in a great, loving and sexual relationship with her, raising our kids together – but I don’t think she is interested in that, a…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 09:18 AM
1

I'm in a weird place really. Something is off. I think I'm just fucking missing something big. While I am a retard in many ways - I'm much more attractive than my wife. I'm fit - she hasn't worked out in five years. I make four times the money she makes (twice the money, if she were to work full time rather than part-time). Other (younger and hotter) women show me respect and signal interest. Where am I fucking up? My wife asks for my approval and guidance when decisions need to be made. She rel…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 10:59 PM
1

You are right, of course. Put in more detail, I wanted my wife to notice that I‘m not sending the message to the world anymore that I am in something I would consider a marriage. This is passive-aggressive bullshit. The ring is back on, regardless of what I think about the marriage. I will deal with this openly and not passive-aggressively.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 07:56 AM
1

OYS #10 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, Squat 4x292, Deadlift 6x325, Bench 6x162. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Currently reading Caleb Jones’s The Unchained Man (about 30% through) and Ben Bergeron’s Chasing Excellence (20% through). Also reading AlphalfaSprout’s OYSs (about 50% through). Mission: To be a man of action and creation who loves himself and loves life, trusts in his own abilities, follows his own will as the only standar…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 11:36 PM
1

Yes, he did. Embarrassingly accurate. Painful, but good for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 10:50 PM
1

Thanks very much for your comment. Much appreciated to receive guidance from you experienced guys. I know that I need it. ​ Go find someone else to have sex with then. You don't get to make her the gatekeeper for sex and then act like a victim. Point taken. I am not a victim. It is my conscious decision not to fuck other women for now because I am still hoping I can turn this around. This decision comes with massive downsides and I choose to suck them up, for now. ​ Translation - I took my weddi…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 10:49 PM
1

OYS #9 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, Squat 5x290, Deadlift 5x320, Bench 6x160. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Finished re-reading Tim Grover’s Relentless. Currently reading Caleb Jones’s The Unchained Man (about 20% through). Also reading AlphalfaSprout’s OYSs (about 45% through). Mission: To be a man of action and creation who loves himself and loves life, trusts in his own abilities, follows his own will as the only standard by whi…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/22 10:48 PM
1

Those were two things really: She was pissed off about something ridiculous I don't even remember and didn't talk to me for a week or two. During that time I was approached by one of our kid's kindergarten teachers about having a short meeting about some formalities. Nothing major. As she was giving me the silent treatment, I didn't tell her about it, and just did it myself. When she learned that I had done the meeting without involving her, she completely lost it. That reaction is completely ri…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/22 07:25 PM
1

Half an hour ago, I was again shot down hard - with her saying that we have hardly anything of a normal relationship and how can I think of having sex the way things are between us. Well, I can think of having sex because I want to fuck, that's how... at that comment, she left the room and went to bed. Well.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 10:10 PM
1

I have never thought about DEVI applying to initiations, but I guess it does. Do I like her? Yes. At the same time, I am deeply disappointed and hurt by all the rejections. For that, when I think of her, the feelings that come up are not feelings of love, or appreciation, or sexual desire, but primarily memories of constant rejections. And - does it matter? Right now, after almost six months of no sex, I don't need to like her to want to fuck her. She's gotten fatter again, which I don't appreci…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 08:18 PM
1

I was replying to your comment about how she still hasn't noticed. She has. But you are absolutely right - I'm in her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 10:58 PM
1

Thanks man. No, when I talked about us joking I was talking about the general mood of the relationship. There was a time a few months ago when she was constantly pissed and glaring at me. That's mostly over. I have read about the fake-joking initiations here, understood what I was doing, and subsequently stopped doing those. My standard initiation is to stare at her tits long enough for her to notice and then grab them, taking it from there. Or, if she is standing with her back towards me, grabb…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 10:34 PM
1

Thanks for your comment. You're right about the dancing monkey thing. I'll read up throughly on it. Except - she has noticed, she even jokes about how I can't have a girlfriend, but that does not mean that she's putting out, even though I'm now 2 points above her on the SMV scale.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 10:20 PM
1

OYS #8 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 170 lbs, Squat 5x285, Deadlift 5x315, Bench 7x155. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). First OYS in a while after only posting on the 60 DoD threads. Readings: Finished The Unplugged Alpha last week. Currently reading Caleb Jones’s The Unchained Man (about 20% through) and re-reading Tim Grover’s Relentless (about 30% through). Also reading AlphalfaSprout’s OYSs (about 25% through). Mission: To be a man of action and cre…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 10:41 PM
1

Appreciate the golf clap ;) This is the first time I participated. I found it really helpful both in terms of realizing how well I am doing in some areas and how poorly I am doing in others. Knowing my tendency to start doing stuff, achieving some success and then just stopping doing the actions regularly, I have programmed my to do app to show ongoing weekly reminders, so I cycle through the 8 weeks of the 60 DoD program every two months. Not sure how long I'm going to keep this up, but I'm thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/22 07:23 PM
1

These are both very important topics - and I think both are much more complex than this initial post suggests. On finances: No man should let his woman handle the family finances unsupervised. I'm guilty of this. Now, my risk is limited given what I wire to our joint account every month and given my knowledge of what the balance of that account is. Still, I will need to contact the bank and have them send me new access data - once I have that, I will take a look at the movements. I do not expect…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 07:48 AM
1

OYS #7 /A Late thirties, 5’9’’, 175 lbs, Squat 290, Deadlift 350, Bench 175. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). This is not a real OYS, but a realization I had reviewing the sidebar for what to (re-)read next. As I said in my OYS #1, I have the propensity to read too much and do too little - and I know I'm not the only one who has analysis paralysis. The purpose of reading, in this context, is to know what to do. I am still a retard in many ways, b…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/21 06:55 PM
1

This is definitely one of my weaknesses. I'm a task-minded person, so my mind is set on getting shit done and not "waste time" bantering with women. But it should be. Interestingly, game is one of the standard strengths of hot women. You would think they wouldn't need it, because they're hot - but typically, they are flirty. Something is to be learned from that.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/21 11:50 PM
1

Interesting - I did that recently already and updated/upgraded my professional wardrobe. Also, I've entertained the idea for a long time to get one "peacocking" item, like from the old Mystery PUA days (a stylish item, though, not a set of goggles or some stupid shit that makes you look like a moron). Got myself a nice bracelet about two months ago. For this challenge, I will treat myself to a nice scarf. Something to add some color to the gray winter outerwear.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/21 10:10 PM
3

Thank you all for this - the original post and the comments are top notch. Kipling's "If" is badass. Love it, have loved it for years, and memorizing it is on my endless list of ongoing projects. Note that he says "if" and not "when". Getting there is not a given, it takes effort. I love the explanation of what DNGAF really means by OP. The point that DNGAF and mission are not at odds reminds me a lot of Ray Dalio's book "Principles". In it, Dalio talks a lot about improving the odds of making t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/21 10:43 PM
3

OYS #7 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 175 lbs, Squat 290, Deadlift 350, Bench 175. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). It’s been awhile since my last OYS and I am back. Readings: I finished doing the BFAs from NMMNG and found some value in that. The result of my self-examination (still) is that I am not a “Nice Guy” in the sense of the book. At the same time, the BFAs helped uncover some weaknesses and areas to work on, so I found them valuable. I am still i…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/21 05:02 PM
1

Indeed. Probably most of us have our weaknesses in terms of food. Me personally, I love food and have to balance this with my desire to become stronger and stay lean at the same time. Wanting to step it up, I will have to do some research. Oftentimes, suggestions for "healthy" food just translate to "fewer calories", but if you want to bulk, you need those calories.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/21 08:47 PM
1

I'm in. Will add three things to my training: (1) shoulders, (2) mobility (also to fix an imbalance I have) and (3) some basic cardio.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/21 07:46 PM
1

First of all, thank you very much for this elaborate post. I has helped me understand a number of things much better. Very much appreciated. I especially llked this part: It's helpful to always remind yourself "no big deal, we'll have plenty of sex some other time." That is an interesting spin on the concept of abundance. Until your post, I never really understood that concept within the context of monogamous relationships. If I'm not willing to cheat and not willing to leave her yet (still hopi…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/21 10:04 AM
1

Internally, you're caught in a mental tug-of-war between being addicted to sex for validation (I'm assuming that you also regularly watch porn and masturbate to it?) There sure is a validation aspect to it, but mainly I want to fuck because I'm a red-blooded male and I get horny. On the recommendation of a few posts I read on here, I almost completely stopped watching porn several months ago. ​ and also passively standing by, expecting to be loved and desired without putting forth any attractive…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/21 08:55 AM
1

Thank you and all the best.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 02:32 PM
-1

Thanks for the explanation. I can see where you're coming from, but I'm not convinced, for the reasons given in my original post. Just the same, I will do the remaining BFAs from NMMNG, as planned. Maybe I learn something about myself. Maybe the exercises convince me that I am indeed a Nice Guy. Maybe they don't. Come on, man. In your two posts in this thread you have accused me of being lazy (by implying that I shun the work of fixing things that need fixing) and having an ego. The laziness imp…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 01:05 PM
1

I don't follow. I spelled out my thinking, and if you cared to share where my self-assessment is off, I'd be happy to hear it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 08:40 AM
1

Thank you for your comment and the link to your "dancing monkey" post. That was spot on. My takeaway from that, as it applies to my current life situation, is a firm reminder that I definitely do need to develop a comprehensive mission. I will read through the further posts that the "dancing monkey" post links to. On my reading list is Athol Kay's Mindful Attraction Plan. Do you think that is a good starting point for developing a mission? Are there things missing in that book that you would lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 08:28 AM
1

Your plan of I'll continue working on myself is sound but be realistic about where you need to work. Thanks for commenting. Just so I get this right - you're saying I need to place special priority on developing OI before anything else?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 08:16 AM
1

You are right. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 08:09 AM
1

Thanks for commenting. It absolutely is my fault, no doubt about that. Through my negligence over several years, I let a once fantastic relationship go downhill. It was my responsibility to lead her into being a great wife, I wasn't man enough for the task and now I'm paying the price. That is not to absolve her of the responsibility for her own actions, but leading the relationship is the man's job and I failed at it. So what am I angry about specifically? I just wrote this out in much more tex…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 08:08 AM
8

OYS #6 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 175 lbs, Squat 290, Deadlift 350, Bench 175 (actually, currently less – caught a stomach bug, could not hold down food for several days, lost about 8 lbs of body weight and quite a bit of strength; but I have recovered, am back in the gym and working my way back up). Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: I started re-reading MMSLP and am about 40% through. As suggested by red_koan, I went back to NMMNG and starte…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 09:00 AM
1

I wanted to think I was special and that nice guy didn't apply to me, but it was a humbling and necessary exercise to see just how perfectly I fit the description. The denial is even part of the description. I hear you. It hurts at times when I take a hard look at myself and realize what a retard I was - or still am. Several of the examples in the book matched my upbringing and my own behavior so closely it was scary. So denial in principle is definitely not an issue for me here - my focus will …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/21 02:49 PM
1

Have you done the BFA's? Some. Doing the rest (or rather, the most significant ones) is what I meant by still having a lot of work to do re implementing the book. Were there any BFAs in particular that you found most helpful on your journey?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/21 09:04 AM
1

OYS #5 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 175 lbs, Squat 290, Deadlift 350, Bench 175. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Finished re-reading NMMNG. As I mentioned in last week’s OYS, it hit frighteningly close to home on many levels. Will start re-reading MMSLP soon. Last week, I received some great feedback on my mission statement – thanks again, guys, that was spot on. I have rephrased my mission statement accordingly. Mission: To be a man of actio…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/21 09:15 AM
1

Yes, I got it. I will rephrase my mission statement to reflect that. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 07:46 AM
1

This may be validation focused instead of outcome focused. I can see where you're coming from. That is definitely an important point and my original statement is not clear in that respect. Does the outline I posted above as a reply to sea-tease reflect this outcome focus?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 07:06 PM
4

That's a great comment. Something felt wrong as I wrote it - and it's so obvious now that you pointed it out. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 03:01 PM
1

Hey man. Thanks for commenting. ​ Still been able to curtail the alcohol? Yes. ​ To be an amazing husband and father. I see this often. Can outline what this looks like to you? Father: I want to establish a lifelong close and fun relationship with my kids, create lots of memories together, help them get a head start in life and help them on their journey of becoming self-directed and happy adults. Husband: This is a little harder to answer. I want to be my wife's oak, her base from which she con…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 01:39 PM
1

OYS #4 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 175 lbs, Squat 290, Deadlift 340, Bench 175. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Back from a Rule 9 ban, so this OYS covers two weeks. Readings: Finished re-reading and implementing WISNIFG. Last week, the book paid for itself many times over saving me 250 bucks negotiating a replacement of a defective product with a retailer :-) Started re-reading NMMNG. I don’t remember it hitting me so close to home the first time I r…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 07:50 AM
1

OYS #3 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 174 lbs, Squat 290, Deadlift 330, Bench 175. Bulking. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Because of my high workload and resulting lack of time (which will remain that way for another six weeks or so – the huge project at work is still ongoing), my reading progress is extremely slow. Thus, I’m still reading that book on Nietzsches’s philosophy and re-reading WISNIFG. The latter has played a major role this wee…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/21 09:26 AM
1

OYS #2 Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, Squat 285, Deadlift 330, Bench 175. Bulking. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Currently reading a book on Nietzsches’s philosophy and re-reading WISNIFG. Have read a major part of the sidebar and the books recommended there, plus a ton more. Generally too much reading and to little doing. Mission: To be a man of action and creation who loves himself and loves life, trusts in his own abilities, follo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/21 06:59 AM
1

Thanks for that. Absolutely, and this applies not only to lifting - obviously. There's a brilliant Schwarzenegger quote that goes along the lines of: If you don't do the work, you don't get the results - no matter how good your excuse is. That's dead on.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/21 02:43 PM
1

These are good points, thanks. I actually did stop taking the supplements during the break from lifting, though I was not sure how smart that was in terms of retaining the muscle already built, i.e. limiting the loss of da gainz. What is your take on that? Reading what you wrote, I assume a generally reasonable diet will contain sufficient protein to take care of that?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/21 02:38 PM
3

OYS #1 Longtime lurker, first time poster. I started reading and taking action not long after I found MRP like a year ago, and then stepped it up a few months ago, so this post will have a bit of the character of “what happened previously…”. Late thirties, 5’9’’, 172 lbs, Squat 285, Deadlift 330, Bench 175. Bulking. Wife late thirties, together > 10 years, 2 kids (one preschooler and one toddler). Readings: Have read a major part of the sidebar and the books recommended there, plus a ton more. C…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/21 09:18 AM
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