Men are changing. They're either giving up completely, or becoming conservative. Conservatives as a group experience much higher birth rates than their liberal counterparts. This doesn't end with a radfem utopia.
Women have leverage to demand the society they want by withholding reproduction to kill the society that doesn’t listen. Do you think women thrive in a societal collapse scenario? Insane to unironically use the bubonic plague as an example of something to aim towards
I don't think having to rely on the foreigner effect means it's easier for a man. A guy that wants to build a stable life with a long term partner in his place of origin is still struggling more than ever. Another reason the West is cooked
Imagine sending someone to the front lines of war to lose their life or get traumatized ?? This happens all the time. And the average man is still deemed trash
Do you, like, know any women? Yes, and too well And you seem to have deleted your original comment, not sure why. I'm trying to spend less time arguing on the Internet. But you pulled me back in!
I live in an area with a large Orthodox Jewish population. Those women are pretty happy in their family contexts. Yea so you gotta subscribe to a 4000 year old desert nomad religion to get appreciation for being a traditional masculine man (however I do think we could learn from Jewish culture about how to celebrate manhood and masculinity). It is also completely rediculous to suggest that women think being a mother and loving partner is oppression. Spend some time outside of religious circles. …
The model of patriarchal masculinity I was exposed to was the idea that a man sacrifices for, protects and provides for his wife and children, whom he treasures, whilst maintaining high moral standards and building up his family and community. Excellent. Now find a woman who wants to be a mother and supportive of her husband. Wait, women think that role is oppression now. So why be a benevolent patriarch when women don't want to be the woman who that type of man wants?
Societal problems are everyone's responsibility. It's why I voted for abortion rights even though it doesn't affect me directly. This is generally understood in other developed countries where casual misandry isn't the norm.
As is, women can do anything they want in terms of sex and romance and still get what they want later on as well Do you think that will continue to be the case though? I think more men are becoming aware of this mindset and less likely than ever to commit to a woman 30's+
When did PUA and red pill start to pick up steam? Late 90's or shortly after. Inceldom became a topic of discussion with the millennial generation before Gen Z, so again, children of the 90s and 00's. There were real cultural issues that weren't addressed and have been exacerbated by the internet and the progressive atomization of society.
No but if society is telling you the opposite throughout your upbringing, that leads to all the men you see now griping about women being dishonest. The old tribal knowledge is not being passed on. Pretty much the point of OG red pill material
Well in the past it was acceptable to say that women don't want men to take everything they say so seriously. Sometimes they're just talking and don't really mean it. Go out and publicly say that now and you're gonna get a lot of backlash men not wanting to be men is more extreme than it ever was This is following a longer term trend in the breakdown of the social contract. We don't have communities or feel a duty to each other anymore. The mindset now for everyone is about satisfying our vices …
responsibility of the state of his family That's a big problem now since many women bought into the feminist nonsense that being a wife and mother is oppression. Really just more women being aware of what they really want rather than all the contradictions ("I don't want to be submissive, but also a dominant man turns me on", "guys approaching me are creeps that only want sex, but also you're not a man if you don't approach"). Masculinity has a lot of important functions outside of dating obviou…
Boys are no longer raised to embody these traits they are merely told to be good people and be themselves. Yep that's all I got growing up. I was even told that my shyness was part of who I was and not something that needed to be worked on. I honestly didn't even understand that confidence was sexually attractive until my late 20's. Boys are being set up for failure with constant feminine messaging, and we wonder why they are losing interest in the real world. They don't know how to navigate it …
The idea is that if you marry a man while at your most attractive, then there's no question that you like him for him and more than any other option you had. If you wait until you're less attractive then there will always be the question of whether you would have picked the man when you had much more abundant options. Yes it does suck that your dating value is dependent on things outside of your control. It's something most young men experience as well
It's reasonable for someone's response to vary depending on the attractiveness of the other person. It's not reasonable to say somebody is degrading you simply because they're not your type
It’s completely reasonable that a man would feel degraded and objectified when approached by someone they find unattractive. How is that reasonable? You're basically saying the difference between a behavior being degrading or acceptable is the person's level of attractiveness. I've been approached by girls I wasn't interested in, it wasn't a horrifying or degrading experience
Reminds me when I was a manager and had to train people how to use Outlook. Had employees whose inboxes were full for a month before I caught it and taught them how to delete emails
Europe has been dodging their defense spending obligations for a long time. I have never voted Republican and don't plan on it, but Europe should have taken this more seriously during the Obama years. Giving Trump anything that can be framed as a win is bad for everyone
Hate that it's working. Obama used to criticize Europe not paying their share for defense spending, but they never actually did anything about it during his administration
Because putting in effort in the hopes of getting someone to like you makes it transactional. You need to show your value in other ways and then show an appropriate level of interest (e.g. don't be writing letters and sending flowers if you've never been on a date with her). Interest from a guy she is attracted to is exciting. Interest from NPC man #63487 is not.
I noticed this yesterday, like the streets were empty for months and suddenly half naked women are walking around everywhere. It's great though maybe I'll go talk to one
make sure I’m doing things to make sure my husbands attraction to me grows and I stay attractive for him (and me). This is exactly the dynamic Red Pill aims for (it tells men to maintain their attractiveness also). So according to TRP you're doing everything right
I don't think it's just about having to take the initiative. It's about knowing when the woman is open to you escalating, and how much/how soon. It's different for every woman, and like OP said some girls just flirt without any meaning behind it, then act surprised when someone tries to make something happen
Attractiveness completely builds with time and exposure to certain behaviors, ways of speaking and acting. This is what actual red pill preaches. Instant self-rejection is an incel trait
by the time they have adult type financial security and a more attractive physically filled out body, the drive has decreased a bit to where they can think, and they can get a bit cynical. Described me rn perfectly. Mentalceldom is no joke
That's why it's always funny when the women here insist men will resent their partner if they aren't having frequent sex. Anyone who has seen the reverse situation in real life knows they get just as angry if their man stops initiating with them
Treat boys being interested in girls as a normal thing and not as an opportunity to humiliate them or stifle them. The conditioning usually happens very early in their development, and usually by female family members
Interactions with the opposite sex were pretty much never treated as normal in my family. If I even mentioned a conversation with a girl in class, it was turned into a big spectacle and lots of teasing. And I mean every single time, the entire time I was growing up. So I just avoided interactions a bit because I associated talking to girls with stress and embarrassment. By the time I got to college I was clueless, hesitated to make a move when a girl liked me, and the couple times I did, it was …
In the early 2000's the obesity epidemic was being discussed by the public constantly. Documentaries, news specials, etc. It was at the forefront of people's minds. Somewhere along the way we decided that's just the way things are now, and now we have to pretend that coexisting with a bunch of hamplanets is normal and okay. Fat acceptance is a problem, and obesity is a public health crisis
My friend actually stopped initiating sex with his wife and she started openly nagging him about it in front of a group of us. Women are really not different in that regard, they just rarely have the tables turned on them
Maybe we need a sub where folks of all pills can come together and try to find common ground for the benefit of all members. Imagine the wonderful discussions and good faith debates that would ensue
True, we need some sort of discussion boards full of these men sharing advice and experiences to try and do better in dating. It would truly be a revolutionary idea and everyone would be cool with it I bet
Doing stuff alone can help you connect with people. I would stop in at bars alone for a couple drinks, which led to me having good bar suggestions for after work drinks with coworkers. Talked to one of them about concerts and venues, which I could talk about cause I went to some alone, now he invites me to local underground shows. I also started solo traveling, which makes it easy to meet fellow travelers abroad. You're immediately interesting to them because of your different background and you…
But you are free shit - to the hot non-committal guy, who by your logic, doesn't respect you. Unless you're actually married right now to a non-simp, I don't think you can really say this "works"
Yet by your own admission, you put more energy into pursuing guys who only want to ejaculate, than a potential life partner. American women are losing their minds
Others with means are going international. This is cowardly behavior I mean I do some traveling, and it's crazy how much more open and friendly women are in other places. No doubt I benefit from the foreigner effect, but if changing location is enough to bump up your attractiveness a noticeable amount, why wouldn't you do it
Pretty much all my issues come from not making a move when the time comes, or making a move but doing it awkwardly. That's the only aspect where I worry about not being masculine enough. In all other areas I don't worry about it
See hot girl Express zero romantic interest and insist I just want to be friends Wait months until she says I'm like a brother to her (hopefully she finds her brothers attractive) Ask her out then act confused when she feels deceived
If you instead told your boyfriend "Figure it out", do you think he'd be more likely to remember and also know to get you flowers and your favorite chocolate?
Its OFTEN? Not ALWAYS? 👀 Most women cant fathom thinking bathing is optional According to your own words, correct. It's also something I've seen in real life. Some real dirtbags can still get a relationship
This subreddit does way more to negatively impact my judgment of women than any porno has But yea, I'd give it up in a second for that. Already cutting back and getting closer to zero
it was meant to be shocking and increase discussions about 'Why the hell would women choose a bear? You're giving the terminally online way too much credit. I'm pretty sure this was pushed after the fact, cause I definitely remember many women (and some men) trying to justify the choice logically. hopefully the whole in-depth discussion into why the question exists would make it less hurtful and more thought-provoking Honestly, not really. It's already hammered into our heads from a young age th…
Tbh a struggling guy should be asking for sex advice above all else, even if he's just wanting an exclusive relationship. Contrary to what the harpies on this subreddit say, women don't want to be in relationships with guys that can't turn them on
A man living his best life and maximizing his personal potential isn't going to waste time chasing a bitter man-hating virgin who avoids interacting with him. Your strategy pretty much only ensures the most desperate guys are chasing you
Stop associating with high libido men if you find them so troublesome. I can tell your weird views are a result of the guys you've chosen in the past. The overwhelming majority of men aren't sex pests.
There are already tons of young guys that are scared to even look a girl in the eye or walk behind them on the street. Do they really need to be castrated further
I'm not gonna keep typing out long replies, but: Who wants to do a support role for someone who won’t appreciate it anyways? Many women don't want to do it for someone that appreciates it. Seriously, post on some female-focused subreddits and ask them how they feel about women's traditional roles in society. Those very important roles are derided as oppression. that women never did anything worthy of acknowledgement. Of course they did. Do you even know what that was? I've referenced actual hist…
Your originally said the exact opposite, that it isnt misogynist to erase women’s accomplishments. I didn't erase women's accomplishments, I said men created civilization. Your only gripe seems to be that I didn't add "with the support of women". If I say an artist created a painting, is it rude because I'm not mentioning the support from their parents, teachers and friends that made it possible, even though they were all critical pieces? By the way, we're going on multiple comments now without …
it absolutely is misogynist to completely erase women’s contributions from the record in order to claim men did it all on their own Like I said, we don't disagree on much And it’s also how chimpanzee troops claim territory. Almost like humans themselves are apes or something. Wouldn't that be a wild and uncomfortable truth. Violence is evidently a required prerequisite for civilization, because other men will be violent even if you don’t want to be. Yep, and those violent men typically had women…
I didn't say "all on their own" or "women had nothing to do with it". The rest is not worth addressing cause you're creating your own quotes to counterargue merely leveraging greater physical strength to enforce your will is what defines “civilization”. That's exactly how a lot of modern countries got their start. Barbarian warlords claiming lands and imposing their will.
I wasn't defending him. But fact is that civilization requires protection of resources, enforcement of laws, and lots of manual labor. All taken up overwhelmingly by men. I know he dug himself into a hole with his replies, but I don't think saying "men created civilization" is really misogynist on its own. No protection of lands, no law enforcement, no civilization
I don't agree with that view at all. I think the everyday contributions of women in history are looked over by everyone. If you frequent this sub more you'll see plenty of women that believe they were relegated to nothing but baby machines until the feminist movement set them free. You should take it up with them too
Lack of relationships and intimacy can negatively affect anyone. If you're incapable of escalating to sex then you're not gonna get a relationship, thereby being lonely, and being depressed
Women are usually shy at first but get more bold if you keep interacting with her. I'm usually bold at first then get shy when I realize she really likes me. I have issues
The usual advice is "be yourself" or "just shower and smile". Any mention of developing rizz and frame as good advice often gets derided as PUA nonsense
Only problem is that every woman has a different opinion on when it's okay to approach. Best rule is if you're confident and can handle a "no", anywhere that's not a dark alley is okay
I like horror movies and if she does that's cool too. You just used this as one of your personal examples. Two of the others are focused on you as well "teach me new things" "willing to dance with me anytime, anyplace"
I don't know where you're from. It's common in some places to refer to all of the Americas as "America". Either way I already gave an example from the tribes in the US region
I didn't say it was moral or justify anything. It's just funny hearing feminist women casually yearn to live in a culture that would have treated them like a commodity to be traded or stolen
I do know history. The Aztecs were sacrificing 100+ humans a day at one point. They would engage in warfare for the purpose of acquiring more people to sacrifice. The Spaniards allied with neighboring tribes to take them down, cause they had a lot of enemies. Just saying not every part of indigenous America was peace and love
Men should live their best lives and improve in all facets. But that includes learning to flirt and maintain a woman's attraction, which is a skillset all on its own.
Wouldn't it make more sense to compare the guy on the right to a modern soldier. "What happened to modern man?" - women casually disappointed we're not training to rip each other apart in another devastating global conflict
She was definitely more worthy of sympathy than other crime show wives. Carmela Soprano always annoys me when she complains about her mob boss husband sleeping around
Team with the ball tries to get the ball to the opposite end of the field. Opposing team tries to stop them. Offensive team gets 4 attempts to advance 10 yards before handing off the ball to the other team. If they advance 10 yards the number of attempts is reset. If they don't feel they will be able to make it 10 yards, the offensive team will kick the ball as far away as possible to make it more difficult for the other team to score. That's the basics
When you take out those who still have casual flings while single, and those who are blocked by emotional trauma to pursue companionship, the number is pretty small
The part where you tried to deflect and disregard your personal experiences, I saw it. But yes I've also known a lot of people that claim to be perfectly happy
Your basic primal needs are being met so your mind is free to focus on everything else. Abstain from sex and intimacy with your husband for a whole year and let me know how things go
Didn't you just comment that you were glued to your husband's hip because you were stressed in a new environment? Having a partner sounds pretty important
The misandry is discounting male victim's experiences, not that this sub would ever do that he's not being targeted because he's a man Sure he is. You think bystanders are more likely to help a man in trouble?
This is presupposing he's already attractive in other ways. An effeminate nerd isn't going to suddenly have a rotation of women just because he votes Democrat and does house chores
Despite all the talk of equality and challenging traditional gender roles, women still want men to make all the moves. Also they're pretty terrified of being rejected
A quick list of some And from TV Aside from those, I'm sure you've seen plenty of media where the girl enthusiastically makes the first moves, which again, is extremely rare in reality
Yea, the guy in the movies gets to be a meek dork and the girl will eventually throw herself at him. Just like in real life. The truth has been right there in my face the whole time
Good parents want their children to be able to find a good partner. But I'm curious to know what in media you're imagining as great dating advice for men that we are ignoring
I said they're getting bad messages, especially from media and oftentimes their family. I grew up in a house of girls and got no relevant advice about dating
I'm not talking about hopelessly ugly people. They get that message very early on. I mean regular dudes that get bad advice and don't know the importance of confidence/masculinity/proper flirting
Where did this idea that family men are "beta male providers", while partying fuckboys are "alpha Chads", come from? Women choosing the partying fuckboys until they are jaded and bitter.
Yea there are already comments in there about raising him to be gentle and don't speak over others. The role of moms in beta izing their sons isn't discussed enough
It wasn't that big outside of terminally online circles. I was a big gamer at the time and only heard about it because of all the "gamers rise up" memes
No, it's about being cautious not to invest in a woman that doesn't actually want to be with you at her core. Men who get casual sex easily are more masculine They are. Women are sexually attracted to masculinity. A man who turns women on easily is more masculine on a biological level
Spends years building a massive army and heavily fortified city Two halflings wander right in Literally sees the ring bearer with his giant eye in his city but then ignores him Too much of a doofus probably
Reminds me in 2020 there was some celebrity who tweeted "Burn it ALL down!" then the next day he was like "WTF guys you're vandalizing my gated community. Knock it off!"
if you are a late bloomer and you have very few options, you are almost cursed to constantly fumble the few options you do have because of so little opportunity to practice your game So you're saying practice girls are the way
I think a lot of creepy old dudes are just chads that hit the wall. The straightforwardness and persistence probably worked when they were young and good looking
Benevolent sexism. Men have higher capacity for emotional strength and should embrace it. Sometimes people say it to manipulate insecurities though and that's when it's not alright
My favorite was on the solo travel subreddit someone's advice for meeting people abroad was to take a book and read it in a local park, and people will just come up and talk to you. They didn't mention their gender/looks but it was pretty obvious lol
Is that the secret of chads? Cause even though I've struggled I've had easy opportunities with unattractive women but never felt any drive to go for it
Q4A: you find out your partner is a frequent commenter on PPD. You can't see their post history and you can't ask, you just know they are very active on the sub. What do you think
They don't say it will make you "sexually successful", they say it's what will make girls want to date you. What is left out is the importance of confidence and ability to initiate Also I gotta say I do not think that being “taught to be nice and friendly, not to offend anybody…” is something only men experience or are conditioned with. Women certainly get the same conditioning Being agreeable and inoffensive doesn't tank women's dating options like it does for men
Much further down the line. What makes someone less desirable is bitterness and resentment and when they stop taking care of themselves. Keep all that in check and you still have a lot of years
School gave us all free deodorant in 5th grade. I also remember getting called out by friends a couple times when I smelled funky so it's socially enforced too. Some people are just gross
I remember years ago some lady put out an article trying to encourage the nice guys not to give up. Lot of BS like "someday I'll want somebody to take me out to dinners and buy me flowers, just not right now. Hang in there!" And she meant it to be like a genuine positive thing lol. Even women were blasting her for it so I don't know what's changed since then
For me if the cause is worthy enough I would have already volunteered. If they just want to send me to some Agent Orange'd jungle like they did to my dad then I'm out
Fathers talk to their sons about girls, yes. Same for mothers and daughters. And friends give each other advice. But if your father's not around and all your friends also suck with girls then you're in a tough spot
Which conclusion do you feel isn't supported by her experiences? Seems like you have more of an issue with others' interpretations of the book than the content itself
If she really wanted to exaggerate for effect wouldn't she just say "men have it worse"? Her conclusion was just that men have their own unique set of legitimate struggles that deserve to be discussed
Men as a whole repeatedly say they don't care about women's hobbies, careers, education, etc. I see this as an admission they don't generally care about women as people Women pretend to be interested in men’s mediocre interests all the time PPD poster not immediately contradicting theirself challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
But is that what women are actually saying? That's what it generally used to mean. With marriage becoming less common the term might be starting to have value
I mean if you're seeing potential it could be worth it. You might be more guarded because of past experiences. You could go with it and see if the attraction grows, but then you'll also run the risk of having an uncomfortable situation later on if you're still not feeling it
Q4W: Do you often throw hints at a guy when you like him, or is it more common to just exist and wait for a confident man to show up and shoot his shot
They absolutely are core tenets You're mixing up the terminally online community of incels with what TRP was originally about Then pretend to feel foolish and act as though you are very impressed with his knowledge before asking about why he uses a private network. There are absolutely women that will act ditzy to get a man's attention
I cannot comprehend people needing to “earn” my respect in order to be treated with kindness and compassion, as if seeing every other human being as competition should be the default I don't think OP goes outside much. As long as a guy isn't completely timid and submissive most men are going to treat him with a base level of respect. Really it's the guy constantly demanding everyone prove themselves to him that ends up getting ostracized
I'm attracted because of the aspects of his personality, behavior, experiences, and values. I don't really get what you're trying to say with this post then. I'm not RP but I don't think lying and pretending to like somebody's personality are core tenets
Both. You might grow fond of some aspects of a guy because you associate it with your feelings of attraction for him, but you might fake interest in other things because you're worried he'll think you're uncool or won't like you enough
I'm not actually impressed by any man's physique But you're attracted to it. Women act more interested in the minutiae of a guy's life when they're attracted. This is already a thing
Kind of fascinating the primal effect complimenting a girl's cooking has. If a girl mentions liking to cook I always make sure to pretend it's super interesting
My therapist told me I show behavior of someone that was abused during childhood, but I have zero memory of anything like that happening. He kinda was a shitty therapist but still makes me wonder
Rejection still sucks, but I've interacted with enough women to know that a decent amount find me attractive. So if a girl isn't one of them, it doesn't affect me much
I don't know, I've done a little bit of approaching, and the times a girl was straight up not interested didn't really affect me. There was one girl that looked very uncomfortable though and made me feel like I was doing something inappropriate. For me being seen as a creep is definitely the main worry
How clear do you think it needs to be? If you think there might be some interest but not 100% sure, is it still better to err on the side of "she might be interested"?
That's pretty much where I'm at. Was meek, now am more confident but sometimes come off like a jerk, slowly trying to dial it back to the appropriate level
“I would like to chat more with you, are you comfortable giving me your phone number?” "I liked him, why wouldn't I be comfortable? He's not confident! Ick!"
I guess I don't understand why being physically attracted is such an awful thing. The guys you say yes to are also attracted to your looks. Also, you can do everything including heavy research while staring at your phone Lol, yes of course that's what phone addicted people are typically doing
If the average woman assumes you're abusive and a potential rapist because you're single, why wouldn't those guys venture out to less misandrist societies where they aren't deemed a threat for merely existing?
Is she constantly staring at her phone with dead eyes, or does she seem engaged in the world around her? Is she smiling and seems at ease, or does she look like she's terrified of being outside? Does she have a rocker style, or kinda hippy-ish, casual/laid back, kinda nerdy, gym bunny, etc. I'm sure you can also get a vibe of a man without talking to him directly right?
Do you know how to find a good therapist? I've been to two but didn't really click with them. Over the last year I've gotten good at talking to women and making them feel attracted to me but I am still full of self doubt despite all the good experiences
They use their eyeballs and see assholes having success with women that they could only dream of. So they come to the wrong conclusion that being a douchebag is the answer
Confidence accumulates through small successes, then spikes up when you get those big successes. It's a process. People think confidence is only allowed when you reach the finish line of your goals, but it's not so black and white
Confidence, self-assuredness, emotional masculinity, charisma and being in good enough physical shape will all make you more appealing to women. Being nice, caring, and ambitious on top of all that makes you top tier
Many guys are raised by their mothers to think that being nice and caring to women was what it took to get them interested. They were never made aware that being attractive to women was a completely different set of qualities. Lot of the frustration comes from guys who grew up with the wrong mindset and got out into the world and felt deceived when they realized things aren't actually how they were told. Unfortunately Tate and other grifters capitalize on this and fill young dudes minds with eve…
Admittedly some of the step stuff is set up in a way that makes it feel more incestuous. Like when it was implied that they basically grew up together, it's obvious what they're really trying to portray. Gives you that ick
If they were then it wouldn't be "step". Think it's more about the taboo appeal without the grossness and immorality of hooking up with blood relatives
Yep. Ultimately they want the same man that the SAHM does but they are more difficult to deal with, and oftentimes view femininity and motherhood as oppression. No thanks
Not at all because most of the time it's just a fake persona. I've had a few instances at work of dealing with "boss babes" who suddenly acted and spoke more girly/flirty with me when they realized their fake bossy attitude didn't have any effect. Most women will act more feminine around a man when she feels safe and comfortable to do so
Imagine you meet your perfect man. Physically your ideal, he's strong and kind and ambitious. He makes you laugh and has similar worldviews and even some similar niche interests. You get the courage to express your feelings for him. He responds "Sorry I don't see you in that way. But we can still be friends". You might have enough pride to hang around and be the "good friend" even though you're still sexually attracted to him (he's everything you want in a man after all). But how bad will it hur…
The issue with that topic is that it so quickly devolves into what can be done to women to make them want sex with men There's no relationship without sexual attraction. Think of how many times you hear women say "he was nice and funny, but I didn't feel the spark" after a first date. In those cases the man ticks most of the boxes except sexual attraction. This is the part that men struggle with, because the lack of sexual attraction is what prevents them from getting any type of relationship. C…
Being not fat is such a low bar compared to what it takes to be deemed a top desirable man the average woman is overweight This is a public health crisis and shouldn't be normalized
Best people to learn from are guys that used to struggle with dating but then figured it out. They'll know how to identify what you're doing wrong and what adjustments to make, because they likely used to make the same mistakes
I bet that reads as mousy and simpering. It very much is. There's even that scene where the girls are laughing at him while he's talking on the phone with one of them. He's very niceguy and meek but still gets the girl throwing herself at him. Same with Jonah Hill, awkward porn-obsessed chubster who ends up with Emma Stone at the end
Superbad is a pretty good example of it. If you Google "nerd gets the girl" it's a pretty common trope with lots of examples. I believe this character is where men get the idea that all woman take advantage of fawning, dorky men IRL. Trust me, this happens in real life too
If you can't get success in casual relationships then any serious relationship you have with a woman is just her settling. Average guys should strive to be more chadly rather than accept their role as BBer
Yes, I know that now. But the emphasis was always on being a kind, interesting and funny person. These things do garner interest, but being unconfident when trying to move things forward can completely ruin that. Confidence is definitely not brought up enough in the "nice personality" conversations, and I think a lack of it is what sinks men's chances more than anything else.
WHO is saying "women are just that easy and all you need is a ‘nice personality’ I was taught this growing up in a house of girls. I didn't fully understand the importance of confidence and masculinity in dating until I was well into my 20's
I think that's what you're not getting. For women, "single" is just not being exclusive with anyone, but still dating casually and having sex. For the average man, "single" means no or minimal intimacy of any kind, because it always takes more effort for a man as the pursuer and initiator
"I want to have sex with you" "I don't want to have sex with you" "Ah that's too bad. Anyway, have a nice day" This is what they're talking about by not caring. Touch grass
how you act intrinsically and your behavioral and interpersonal proclivities How much of this is rooted in one's values, worldviews, and beliefs? If someone is intrinsically quiet and shy, those behaviors are rooted in the belief that they might say something stupid and be shamed for it, because the world is inherently cruel in their mind. Similarly, someone who is a natural leader is able to effectively display those traits because of their core belief that they are qualified to lead, and that …
It sounds like you agree almost exactly other than wording. My beliefs and values aren’t my persona aka my front facing personality They're not your persona, but they define who you are at your core. What makes you you, your personality. How I act and how I showcase and how I present when I interact with others is my personality as far as others are concerned Important caveat. Your personality may not completely align with how you present yourself, which is why persona is not the same as persona…
charm/assuredness/intuition/etc. I almost feel like these belong outside of "personality". Personality is just your beliefs, interests, values etc. Things like charm, assuredness, intuition are social skills that anyone can develop
Seen your comments and you have a lot of wisdom on the subject. How would you go about approaching outside of the usual bar/event situations? I walk around a lot in my day-to-day and pass by beautiful women occasionally. Would love to talk to them and see what they're about but wouldn't know how to do it on the street without coming off like a wannabe PUA. Is it worth trying it in that kind of situation?
Cold approaching isn't just lurking public spaces and dropping the same canned line on any woman walking alone. It's just starting an interaction with someone you don't already know. Easier at events when you can comment on things already going on
I posted another comment that explains my thoughts, but it's more that men have more expectations placed on them when it comes to how to act in social situations Woman acts weird - she's just a weirdo. Man acts weird - What's his deal? I don't trust him. Keep away
I think a woman acting weird or being offensive is considered a lot less threatening than when a man acts in those ways. The cost of a man being socially inappropriate is generally higher
Think it's more that they feel they can't take risks or get out of their comfort zone because they may be misunderstood (very common when developing one's underdeveloped social skills). They're not "not allowed" to do those things but if they give off the wrong vibe or inadvertently do something inappropriate they feel they're going to get chastised for it
Yeah, it seems a lot of boys don’t naturally do the above unless directs or ordered to do so? They experience a natural need to join a cause or have a mission with fellow men, but need guidance to ensure they go through the right channels. That's why many misguided boys with no positive role models end up in gangs or extremist groups
I'm not saying it's up to you to date losers. I know every other post on this board is some neckbeard pushing for that, but obviously that's not the answer. I'm saying that men get very wrong ideas about how dating and attraction work, be it from family members or some bald douche online (or let's be honest, some very vocal terminally online women). So they end up very devoid in this area of life, which is unnatural and unhealthy. It's a natural urge that's hard-wired into every animal, but for …
I think it hits men harder because they have a more compulsory libido compared to a women who have a more responsive libido Think it also has to do with men expected to always be the initiators. If you know you're gonna have to be the one to make things happen, it's in your best interest to always be seeking out opportunities. And when you're inexperienced and lack knowledge of how attraction works, you're met with rejection after rejection and feel trapped. but way too many men speak of their l…
In my experience they do. It's not super touchy feely like with women but generally there's positivity or support being shared in some way amongst friends. I think the fact that men show respect for each other in different ways than women gives off the perception that we're all just cold calculating emotional stumps. relative to her celibate female peers. I don't know the exact numbers, but most women aren't celibate for majority of young adulthood. They might choose to avoid dating at some poin…
Sounds like this is from 1998. Fear of being perceived as gay really isn't the primary issue. But you are viewed more positively for acting "masculine" by both men and women in your life. It's not about coming off gay, it's about not coming off weak. There are still opportunities to seek support with your issues from other men, but a lot guys (and girls) try to turn you into their therapist if you're too available to them.
Just be happy you did it man. I was nervous as shit the first time I did it too, and it was pretty awkward. I felt really good about myself for actually attempting it though, and then got positive responses the next couple times I did it
If you're tall and masculine-looking you can get away with less confidence, but there is a bare-minimum you need to have for women to want to be with you
This is where I am at. "Worked on myself" and now get IoI's and girls flirting a bit, but still shy as shit because I haven't been practicing actual approaches and dates.
