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Teh1whoSees Archive

View 1 post and 320 comments by Teh1whoSees on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
42

Teh1whoSees/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/26 01:15 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

abdicating responsibilities like this has led to the incongruence you speak of. Don't get this wrong because it could send you down a months long dead end trying to "save" her, and expecting sex for it. She's a SAHM. Her job is supposed to be to care for the kids while you make money. And while it is "normal" for anyone to unconsciously slip from their duties from time to time (and watch out of the corner of their eye to see if you start doing it for them...some would call this a this behavior a…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/26 11:02 AM
3

I really wish guys would stop with this "I kinda get it" after reading an idea. Your urgency to understand is ego. If you need it massaged a bit, yes, you understand...from the perspective of who you are and your worldly experiences to this point. Which, by the very nature of us being here, are woefully lacking. So that idea of what we mean? It's bullshit. So will be the understanding you think you have short of anything other than 6 months of hyperfixation followed by another 6 of real life app…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/26 12:30 PM
1

AuDHD spectrum disorder Welcome to the party. I've had it all my life. It's a steep hill to mount. But a superpower when you do. You could medicate yourself into normalcy. But I want you to ask yourself: Do you sincerely doubt you have the ability to conquer this yourself? Or is it going to be "really hard" and you've been stumbling so far...and you're just searching for the easy way out? Don't answer this with "I've tried and it's just not working." I'm not here for excuses. I'm here to empower…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/26 07:28 PM
–

Urgency is ego Now take note. How fast are you walking? Eating? Showering? Are you multitasking to get more life in at once? Do you feel that "pull" in other more subtle places? Long time ago I wrote on here about taking a piece of steak on your fork, putting it right up to your mouth like you're about to eat it, and stopping. And then watching your brain scream at you. It's kinda funny when you see it. But also telling. Good observation.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/26 04:13 PM
1

Yay. You found everything you think you should have seen / thought by doing the exercise. Now...what's really there for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/26 03:51 PM
1

Not loss of control. Simply the inability to hide from reality and believe what you project onto her because of constant contact. This was always you. This was always how it was. You were just able to ignore those signs before marriage.
/r/askMRP31/07/26 03:33 PM
3

It's only amicable after the judge signs off. At any moment she could have a friend or lawyer "you go girl" her and now you're scrambling to find footing. Play your nice card. Be proactive. Negotiate in your best interest without being insulting. Amicable can turn into "I got fucked". It can also turn into "I can't believe the deal I got." Weren't you the guy who was recommending King, Warrior, Magician, Throne? What happened to all that shadow work?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/26 03:08 PM
1

Let me know if I understood correctly We're talking intellectually here. But the only way to truly understand is to go stare at the wall yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/26 03:57 PM
2

Bro is putting up a half-ton on bench hot damn. the only way to find out is to truly do it This is why a lot of guys are on the "don't think, just do" train. If you don't think about it, you won't have to realize everything is relative and the only reason you are inclined in a direction is because you've convinced yourself it matters. But then again, if you do look, you'll find yourself staring into the void and paralyzed. Unable to move toward the thing that ultimately doesn't matter. Fun exper…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/26 01:05 PM
1

"...throw your whole self into it. See most people go at it tentatively. They don't give all their stuff. They don't concentrate. They don't put everything they've got in them...One guy wrote a book called 'All You Can Do is All You Can Do', and all you can do is ENOUGH. But he said 'MAKE SURE you DO, all you can do.' And if we're honest with ourselves this evening we know, that we haven't done all we can do. So as we look to the future we can decide that from this day forward, if I look at my p…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/26 12:31 PM
1

Kinda like Sweepers, Sleepers, and Keepers.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/26 12:20 PM
1

“Chemistry” can’t be faked and fucking for the sake of fucking doesn’t give me any abundance/confidence. One day you won't need to fuck to get abundance / confidence. Then you'll just be left with "Chemistry can't be faked". Which is also true, until you realize the limits on what you need chemistry to entail. Then you'll drop the DEERing altogether and just fuck because you want to and don't when you don't.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/26 12:17 PM
1

I realized a few years ago you could also churn with cards by getting a 15 month interest free card, using it for every purchase possible, paying the minimum each month, and investing what you would have used to pay it off in (at minimum) a HYSA. Then when the interest free promotion runs out, pay it off and keep the growth.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/26 12:13 PM
1

A little RP daytime soap material (following some of the drama back in the day was my guilty pleasure): Back when RP men were coalescing in think tanks, the Red Man Group was head by a guy who called himself Anthony "Dream" Johnson. You could tell the guy was one of the grifters who was using RP for a business but he did have an ex he called "Medusa" who he claimed was the bigliest OCD/Manic-Depressive/BP and tried to portray himself as being so strong for having made it out of it. Just watching…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/26 12:08 PM
2

Why didn't you answer /u/Hornsofapathy 's question? You identified some cognitive dissonance and then just kinda...gave up.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/26 06:10 PM
1

So as long a bunch of randos are around to hold your hand that's good enough for you? Is that what I'm hearing?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/26 05:17 PM
5

found it so insightful Fuck women. Fuck MRP. You should be fucking alarmed that each and every book you've read could hold an impact just as, if not more powerful than what you derived from your second NMMMG read and you are missing it. You should be digging into that heavily. "Why is this book suddenly impacting me? What's different? And am I missing this connection elsewhere?" Because you're being a bitch and I don't have time for this bullshit If her game is to pull you in, even with this sta…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/26 01:36 PM
3

my numbers didn't improve but my physique is changing Hahahaha. What are you suggesting...that your fat just moved around to a better place? also consider the autoimmune disease If I were still a mod I'd ban you right here for moralizing with your own disease that has NOTHING to do with the fact that you're lying to yourself about your own improvement. Do you do this elsewhere in life too? GG's wife: "You forgot to pick up your son from practice." GG: "You gotta consider my autoimmune disease!" …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/26 09:20 AM
5

My physical appearance is much better, I’m in better shape Says the man who 10 months ago was also 18.9% and who's only gained 5kg in his lat pull while everything else is exactly the same. I stopped reading. Who are you idiots trying to fool?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/26 12:41 AM
2

vision North star I think it's interesting that we talk about a vision because when I wanted to be social or competent or successful back in the day...I could see myself there yeah. But that was just a brief flicker in my mind of what it looked like if I got there. But back then, and even now, when I am trying to build myself or my life into something it's not a "vision" that I'm following. I don't "see" myself there. I feel it. I orient myself in the direction of embodying who I want to be or w…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/26 12:55 AM
2

I doubt most of the commentators here have any real experience fasting This is a very odd thing to say.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/26 01:11 PM
1

Sounds good. Have fun!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/26 09:15 PM
7

she didn't need to talk anymore So STFU worked but felt she was missing connection with me. But reveals that STFU isn't necessarily the answer. It just revealed the issue. So in essence, STFU was both good and bad? Huh...look at that... I told her that I thought that was a good observation, we can focus on that with the coming interactions we do have How? This is the soft pitch for you to now lead. The problem has been identified. Your first mate willing. I just need dicked down And here now you…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/26 02:59 PM
1

can fuck no problem when I wake up Standard beginner diagnostics...Testosterone is highest overnight into the morning. Go get blood work done to get your T checked. Ask specifically for free T to be checked. It's the stuff that is not bound and is available for sexual function.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/26 11:42 AM
4

praise Praise isn't just a cheat button. It only means something coming from someone valuable enough to give it. It is on the level of benevolence. Received as a gift from those who feel unworthy. Introspect: Did you praise as an act of proud benevolence that your 1st mate did well and lived up to your expectations? Or did you push a button to see what reward popped out? the day after A woman can change from bitch to fawn in a matter of minutes. Her behaving well the day after isn't a lingering …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/26 11:24 AM
1

There is nothing either good or bad. So...just gently walking through this thought then...nothing is good or bad, but we make things good or bad. Why do we do that? If fantasy leads to action, I suppose we'd call that good So action is good? Is mental masturbation an action? It enables ego Does action toward a specific outcome involve ego? Is it OI? (Again just walking gently. I'm not trying to work us to a conclusion. Just viewing the landscape of the thought-space we're making)
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/26 10:56 AM
1

sunken costs as opportunity costs, and optimised choises are just mental masterbation I like the way you've phrased this. In fact, this sunken costs as opportunity costs IS this (second quote) God's I have a ton of commentary I could branch off onto from here. But it doesn't really get us anywhere other than being able to better visualize the circular trap we're all a part of. But I do have one thought that might really bring a smirk to your face if you let it simmer: optimised choises are just …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/26 11:20 PM
3

Obviously there is nothing morally wrong with it Whenever you have a thought, like "you owe it to yourself", or "there's nothing morally wrong with it", in the future, immediately ask "In what way could this thought be total bullshit? Could I imagine with the mental anchor points I have right now in my model, someone like me taking the opposite stance and actually having a valid point that what I'm thinking is total bullshit?" If you can, if you can picture a You that has a working model that wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/26 07:11 PM
2

Is monogamy into monogamy good? Is it bad? I see a similarity between you and /u/rolling371 thinking STFU is good. And STFU is bad. You guys should talk that out.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/26 05:04 PM
3

You've given a good example response I didn't intend to give a different response. I like the fuck out of your "See?" But I think where you erred is your fear prevented you from STFU and letting her step into that gap. But you also feel like STFU is not "strong". I see a huge similarity between you thinking STFU is good, and STFU is bad. In the same way /u/SuggestionVisible930 thinks monogamy is good. And also that monogamy is bad. You guys should talk that out.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/26 05:03 PM
3

if I would just keep the reins and make the decisions - she’d be happy This is a really interesting lead in to the captain/first officer dynamic. I'm going to peel back the layers a bit here. I'll start with an example of my and my girl's dynamic: I will never let my girl open a door for herself or pull out a chair at a restaurant for herself. If she looks like she's going to open a door for herself I'll give her a stern "Don't do it...". If she tries to pull a chair out herself I'll put my hand…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/26 11:39 AM
1

Same height same age as him. Measured 10% at 189 in the spring in a calibrated pod.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/26 10:59 PM
5

Question if tomorrow she woke up smiling, affectionate, and told you she thought your marriage was great, would the loneliness disappear? If yes, then you're outsourcing your emotional stat those feelings are a possible outcome and having the courage to risk feeling that way Fucking bang on this week Leonidas. Good stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/26 10:55 PM
6

I think it’s fair to let my current girl know something like You're negotiating. Worse, you're negotiating when you already have all the cards. It's like...say you own a Lambo. And a girl goes "I'll let you drive me around and look hot if you put a shitty exhaust on it." Do you start negotiating what she can do to your car? No! Because you already have the best deal. If she wants to hop in and look hot for you she's welcome. But otherwise you'll just continue with what you already have. Replace …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/26 04:16 PM
2

I'm not sure I follow That doesn't surprise me. The post you linked to talks about How very AI of you to summarize my post. I think what this means is the idea of the journey being the destination No. the current big picture is not conducive to resulting in the amount of sex I want It is...when viewed from the viewpoint of the big picture. It is not...when viewed from the viewpoint of consider just how much sex you want. How is that possible? How is it possible that your mind can come to two ver…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/26 07:07 PM
3

(You) I don't want to not fuck when I want to fuck (Me) Think big picture...Are you at the right mix right now? (You) Yes, given the big picture. Think hard for a moment now...if a man finds himself at the proper destination but that the route he travels to get there not ideal, does he change the destination? Or alter the route? I think you will find this post extremely relevant.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/26 07:40 PM
8

but I decided to not use them as I’m committed to making this marriage work. If I had a dollar every time... You haven't decided to not use them. You don't have a driving commitment to make this marriage work. You're scared of using them. And you understand if you can make this marriage work, you can absolve yourself of the feelings around choosing that other path. It's like this for every guy that comes in here. Every single one. We tell ourselves stories to justify the paths our emotions and l…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/26 02:25 PM
7

Also, not initiating goes against my self-image of a man who pursues what he wants. However, I'm not sure how to go about it. I don't want to not fuck when I want to fuck And I want to eat ice cream all the time. But I don't. Because I weigh ice cream against the other things on my life I value and am (10% body fat, healthy, a man with some self control). Are you a man who, when he wants to fuck but his wife has fucked him recently has a sense of balance of fucking where you can take her wants a…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/26 12:40 PM
4

Done some digging because your conversation reminded me a lot of an old me. So Here you go. Takeaway...the headspace you were in in your conversation is one that you need to replicate throughout your life. But also and again, and with my ex...the things they are saying come from places of anger. It's a weaponization of sex. "I know you like sex and I'm going to use it against you." But the place it's coming from is one of pain. "I feel for us." One thing I can say very clearly in hindsight thoug…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/26 03:27 PM
4

Sometimes I'll indulge in the fantasy of having as much ripped from my life as Viktor Frankl. And tell myself "If you cannot come to peace there, then you're as fake as the newest n00b on MRP."
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/26 12:07 AM
8

Me: “Sure” and then I shut up This was a perfect back and forth. I didn’t know what to take from this Not every event has to have a takeaway. This sounds like a very "normal" (IE consistent to her normal receptiveness of you) vibe from her. She's normally resistive and cold, and she was here. So what's to learn? She still is who you know her to be. I thought I had some game but guess not So...you don't have game because the woman who normally rejects you rejected you? I felt apathy more than any…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/26 12:02 PM
3

The things I particularly like about it are: 1: It makes other guys ask: Could I do this myself? Could I land a married gym girl in a car in a parking lot if I wanted to? Not that you have to or have the lack of morality to. But are you at that level if you wanted to? 2: Is the pointing out of validation seeking in OP's post an egoic cover for knowing you can't? Because validation seeking is a relatively easy problem to solve for OP compared to egoic callouts for the purpose of masking one's own…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/26 10:48 AM
8

Seeing as you're a n00b, I'm down with this. I wrote some cringey shit early on too. When you get there, you'll just be dropping little stories like this in other dude's OYSs without the need to immediately glorify them. So...what now? How will this change your mission/vision (if it does)?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/26 06:42 PM
2

In my case it is for sure going to end up with 50/50 split of assets, 50/50 custody, and probably zero to very little alimony anyway Do you always open up with the likely offer when you negotiate? she would file in a case of successful branch swing Does this negatively affect anything except your ego? I am not out of options sexually...if I got caught cheating she would probably use that socially against me If it would take 6 months or a year to safely extricate yourself from this mess, and if y…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/26 12:30 PM
0

Lol I know, I know.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/26 02:39 AM
1

I totally see the benefits of said journey. But I don't feel like I need to undertake it. Personally, I struggle with emotional regulation sometimes. As always, take what works. Or don't. But when you don't take what works, identifying the negativity behind the part of you that doesn't work doesn't make sense. Which is also fine. You can hit yourself repeatedly on the back with a switch. And say "Ow this hurts." And I can say "Might wanna stop." And you're free to say "I see the value in stoppin…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 08:04 PM
1

This Stillness brings peace is this I'm hoping the answer isn't just "I don't know. I simply know these things distract / change my emotions and so knowing that, I engage with them." Why does stillness bring peace? And how can you naturally structure your mind to perceive stillness in Crab Wife? I'll leave that part of the conversation there. Because when you get there... misleading Crab Wife to believe sabotaging ..you'll be able to answer the question "Is this malice? Is there a way I could st…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 05:33 PM
2

back to my emotional baseline before approaching this I think you're definitely constructively heading in the right direction. My only follow up would be: What is it, if anything, are you finding in the meditation, breathing, nature, etc. that brings your emotions back to baseline? I'm hoping the answer isn't just "I don't know. I simply know these things distract / change my emotions and so knowing that, I engage with them." That's just the lazy cause and effect an arm chair psych might point o…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 05:03 PM
1

Well argued Mr. Defense lawyer. Did your wife hire you to work her case? Or do you just make excuses for her habitually?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 09:37 AM
2

Good. This viewpoint clearly demonstrates you have the self-confidence to judge bad behavior and lower the value of someone committing it. Now...how could you go about taking the anger out of it? Because though anger is powerful, it's still you hurting you. How could you pass judgement and lower value without anger.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 09:35 AM
1

I remember this. A great original piece by Rian. I also liked his thoughts on pathos, logos, and ethos. Though never fully wrapped my head around it. You got a link to that one? Id like to reread.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 09:28 AM
9

it's a warning Love this. I spend some of my time helping out the socially anxious and this is a great addition to the "be yourself" advice. Most often you'll see weak men bring up "be yourself" to criticize the advice to make themselves feel a little better about their own failure like "Well...the reason I'm failing is because you guys give shit advice. Be yourself doesn't work." I like to say "Of course it doesn't. You suck. But it doesn't mean be who you are now." Like you said "Be the person…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/26 09:24 AM
3

I always loved the attitude of Pook. Everyone will always take their issues seriously at first. But it's ideally supposed to be fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/26 10:40 AM
2

and replied rarely, but with walls of text You made it 12 days before thinking we give a shit about your text game. This whole thing reads like a girl gossip magazine mixed with chad fan fiction. "Every girl was all over me whether they had a BF or not!" Uh huh. And yet you're settling for one or two plates that keep giving you trouble and I'm not even sure if you're fucking or they're just using your wifi and cuddling you all night. What can men learn from all this? What did YOU learn from all …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/26 10:45 PM
4

I'm not gaining much by putting my attention towards my wife's behaviors The truth of it is, you could absolutely gain. But likely right now in your journey, you aren't. You don't have the skills or mindset to codify this into a model that isn't reactionary or toxic. It's like you're trying to listen to a chess podcast describing the Sicilian open and apply it, and you don't even know what the horsey looking piece does. All this will come in time. But you're only on OYS 36. I would say that it u…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/26 01:14 PM
7

I used to have a dog who, when I fed it food, would flip the mat the bowl was sitting on over top the food with his snout. He did that maybe a dozen times. Then ate his food. I could start to try and figure out what it means when he did it. I could posit that it had something to do with how he thought about me and his food. Maybe it was a show of disapproval? Disappointment? OR...when he did it I could just think "Huh...that's cute...he's doing that thing he does." And move on with my life.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/26 10:06 PM
1

Pretty sure that one is AI. Social media is now swamped with them. I'm of the opinion if it unlocked something then it doesn't really matter. I'm not a stickler. But if you want clues, listen to his cadence. AI almost always has a quick and constant flow. Watts liked to meander and often had "ums" and "uhs" to fill his voids. Also: https://forwattssake.com/
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/26 09:40 PM
2

but I just feel like the passion is not there This sounds like a woman wrote it. Stop letting life happen to you. what if The things you want in life will call to you unapologetically. Again this sounds like a woman fantasizing that some ripped movie star will pass by when she's out having brunch, make her swoon in front of all her friends, and ask her to marry him on the spot. What would happen if you just went and did what you wanted, manly shit not involving women, for the next 6 months? You …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/26 10:44 AM
3

That's a nice narrative you have there. Now ask yourself...is this reality what you believe? Or is it what you need me to believe...else all the backflips you're going through seem really silly?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/26 10:53 AM
2

Mostly Women see this. In fact it's very obvious. And it's part of the reason you'll get disappointed faces. Some will engage anyway just for the challenge. Or some will engage in order to try and drop you a hint that you're being incongruent or just to dunk on you (kinda like when Mystery was out with his crew and they all had fake cigars. And she asked him why. And he didnt have an answer.) The only reason you'll have great success going to clubs to dance to pickup women is if you are already …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/26 10:58 AM
3

Judge You'd need to conceptualize the entirety of who you are in order to judge yourself. You'd also need to have that entirety of you to judge from. But to put it bluntly, you don't have the mental bandwidth to hold the entire image of yourself in your head to judge. So all you can do is sample subsections of you and feel out how they feel...and then integrate them into the whole you. The things we say and do here (like "Never cry in front of a woman") are just idea spaces to sample (crying in …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/26 06:55 PM
2

I challenge you to quit writing about stupid texts with your women in future OYSs. Texting is for logistics. It doesn't matter. Also... Why the fuck are you keeping asking me stupid questions? ...plates are for easy spinning/dropping. Not trying to mold into what you want. If a plate is being annoying, let it fall. Why are you keeping her around and constantly complaining about what she's doing/saying? I think I know why. Especially with your other tic of neurotically analyzing your dance nights…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/26 10:52 AM
3

So...my notes aside on your workout (if it got you to move, cool). But I am gonna say this: With respect to crying about a PR...I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're a pussy. You probably looked like a pussy. And this probably made your wife feel like she's married to a pussy. But before you get your ego all rankled...I cry too. In fact sometimes I go to raves. And they play a genre called melodic bass. And it's fucking relatable and heart wrenching. Sad sappy shit like love lost and relatio…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/26 09:30 PM
1

Morpheus: "STOP TRYING TO HIT ME AND HIT ME!"
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/26 02:01 AM
2

Two issues. I'll address both. But if you tell me to put my gloves down and throw a punch, I'm gonna answer. So first (gloves down): I agree. This place isn't what it was. Ive been here since the beginning. About 6 months after the sub formed. It was way different back then. There's been countless posts and comments about that. I won't go into the countless answers but basically: Everything has been relatively figured out according to the original drive (hypergamy and the blue pill). Things like…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/26 08:13 PM
2

You aren’t enlightened. I never said I was. real intimacy And just what is "real intimacy"? Kinda like "genuine desire"? pretends he didn't want to play Huge difference between pretending you didn't want to play and acknowledging that what you are doing IS play. Maybe genuine desire is like the guy who takes football WAY too seriously? Is that what we're going for? faces a single "no." Huge difference between taking your ball and going home at the first no and having the capability to say "no" w…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/26 06:55 PM
1

stumbled upon Bullshit. You know how many times I've looked at my ex's socials since she moved out? 0. Unfriended on all of them the date our divorce decree was signed. Never looked back. Ask yourself why you felt the need to actually go and block her. After your hamster is done trying to spin it because alpha men totally care when a plate falls off enough to snoop blocked socials, and you realize you have some deep seated ego insecurities, you'll have made progress. You've got game obviously. Y…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/26 09:31 PM
1

Counterpoint I feel like this would be a co-point? But I would disagree (with it being counter) only in the difference between the two truths we're making. In mine the point of the comment was that the other person cannot be communicated with trustworthy fidelity. And so you cannot incorporate them into the blend of the two of you. (Well you could, acknowledging the risks of being incorrect). You would however be able to know yourself. Because you don't need to communicate it to you. But, correc…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/26 08:02 PM
2

Part 2: So again...ego isn't the problem per se...it's just a measurement of how much you're invested in maneuvering a particular part of the problem space. But the problem space is The Entirety of All Things. There is no "correct" space outside of it. Within it, you can shape your mind and this life to be in an infinite number of combinations. But it's always the result of this selective, limiting beliefs that hold you there. And no space is "eternal bliss". So to answer your question, it's nei…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/26 02:45 PM
2

Part 1: You've identified the problem statement and risks. But I think you're missing a bit of the circular, and fractal nature of it: consolidate my energies in a direction By the nature of the problem, doing this consolidation and moving IN ANY WAY, regardless of if it's good/bad...successful/unsuccessful...whatever...IS I don't want to fall back into it or any other tricks falling into a trick. The trick is that you've separated life into THIS and THAT. You've convinced yourself this consolid…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/26 02:45 PM
2

TL;DW(rite)
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/26 04:48 PM
4

It makes my heart swell when I see someone else who really gets it. It's a pleasure being on this journey with you BoringAndSucks. Much love. No homo.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/26 04:46 PM
5

You’ve made similar points way more concisely already Yeah it all seems to circle the drain as you fully come to grips with it. Guys keep writing in OYS or DMimg me personally though with their own version of this problem. So I spin it again, bringing lessons learned since last time into the fold, for a greater understanding. I've been working on this mental model over the last 3-5 years. It has evolved along the way. Even though reading posts from 5 years ago I can see similarities. repackaging…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/26 08:43 PM
2

I don't think we disagree.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/26 03:09 PM
1

Seems like a rehash of the basics here. The one thing I do like is the push for a 90 day performance period. OYS weekly, as much of an introspective powerhouse that it is, is a cancer toward the long-term vision men should be building. Many guys get stuck in these weekly cyclic patterns of being who they're gonna be for a week, and then completely changing it when they get feedback the following week. A man can fake themselves indefinitely over 7 day cycles. 90 days however...
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/26 02:08 PM
1

/u/10000kg this feels a lot like you early on. Just amorphous and no solid core to build something on. I dunno if you want to take a swing at this or not. But I think at this point....
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/26 11:51 PM
2

You're feeling a power you haven't wielded in a long time...maybe never. With great power comes great responsibility. Make sure you're ready.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/26 03:13 PM
1

Rog. I just don't want to seem like I'm trying to shove a narrative down your throat. I like where we're at and I think this is an example of a quality OYS with feedback. You clearly have all the tools and know how to apply them. I think this is more of a regular coming-to-grips-with-reality that we all do as we see and are disappointed that while we seek the ideal, we'll likely never have it completely. This isn’t who I want to be in the relationship generally, but it is how I want to be in the…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/26 12:26 PM
1

Wrote another longer reply with some thoughts. Let me know if you want it. But the basics are that I think you're doing what you know you need to do. You're just having some resignation about it (seeded by her reflection)...tempting you to reassess (through idealizing what that reflection might mean and if you can influence it). I say maintain course.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/26 03:40 PM
2

When "I" statements flip to "You" statements after you take the bait.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/26 03:35 PM
2

dialed up the IDNGAF too high My point is...to who? If this is a problem in the sense that who you want to be sustainably in your relationship for the rest of your life isn't who you're being...then I think this thought has merit. If instead this is a problem in the sense that this level of IDGAF IS who you want to be in the face of dysfunction (but that you acknowledge that it may be driving her away), AND we couple this with the thought that who she is ISNT who you want her to be sustainably f…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/26 02:16 PM
1

I might be going too hard towards What does this mean? Because it doesn't sound like "From what I want in my relationship regarding the effort I put toward her, I want to put in more." It sounds more like "I think things may get bad for my relationship if I don't move toward what she wants in some way. But I don't really want to. But I guess I could." I'll contrast this with a little outburst from mine very recently where she got emotional and revealed that she doesn't feel like the relationship…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/26 10:48 AM
1

Part 2: Here's another key distinction though: If his wife went and it was the day she got home and his friend isn't over, and there's nothing to do, to the point that the power is out through the whole county and he's sitting there in the dark. What's he do? He goes and picks her up at the airport. The same thing he'd do if she didn't go to Vegas and maybe went to a business meeting in Detroit. And if she didn't go and went to a business meeting in Detroit and it's the day she gets home and his…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/26 01:59 PM
1

Well now I've gone and written a book again. Part 1: Trolley problem framing Hilarious. I love this. go off and be single Sigh. Okay. I'm gonna bite one more time and try to frame this properly. Because I've told you this a few times and I always like to believe people "get it" but I've never really seen someone "get it" with the proper nuance. And I feel like I'm picky sometimes with the words I see used and words I use. But words really are a window into your mindset so I feel like this is jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/26 01:58 PM
2

her fee fees Never mentioned this was to protect her fee fees how would you recover from that Never mentioned it was out of protection for myself. It's a layered problem ultimately ending in her making a decision. One guy let's her decide after he tries to protect himself from her hurting his vision, the other simply lets her hurt his vision, because his vision ultimately includes a woman who won't do that. Again, boundaries are just being scared she'll do something that breaks your delusion of …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 06:11 PM
2

Because that puts onus on her to make the decision. And? Making hard decisions for her to white knight her from responsibility so she can then hold a grudge against you for denying her the opportunity to fuck up the relationship is bullshit. Make her make hard decisions to be with you. Now, id also tell /u/MerlinsIdiotBrother to say fuck it and let her go. Because he doesn't have a relationship with her where she doesn't put herself in situations where she has the opportunity to cheat. He just h…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 04:16 PM
2

guilt from her and others I choose my words carefully. You can't feel guilt from others. You can only feel your own feelings. You can understand how others feel guilty. You can understand if others are trying to make you feel guilty. But you can't feel guilt from them.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 09:00 AM
1

I appreciate the kind words. Happy Easter broski!
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/26 12:12 AM
1

not stay in a relationship if there is no fucking So you can't stay with your wife and fuck side pieces? You see how even trying to say something that simple starts bringing up all this unspoken baggage along with it? Because it's all interconnected. And individualized. And the target you think you're aiming at isn't even what you're aiming at. It's also a covert contract you wrote with yourself about what you think you'll be when you achieve it. Be the guy you need to be who is comfortable that…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/26 12:01 AM
2

Last paragraph is spot on. And when you get there, the model allows you to start backing off the idea that you measure yourself outwardly, because you know when you need to do X, you will. Letting go of that neurotic anxiety and knowing being who you are will make you happy actually allows you to direct your attention to enjoying the happiness.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/26 04:04 PM
5

Hmmm. I'm wondering now if what I said is being interpreted as giving OP the advice to "Don't listen to these guys online. You can be a guy who fucks if you think you are." That's not my intention at all. What I was trying to address was continue to firmly establish the new frame (by fucking) which, combined with what he was writing around it concerning what he was seeing with his dynamic with his wife, I saw as him trying to believe in his frame by having it witnessed by others. When a frame is…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/26 03:58 PM
2

I'm replying to myself here just as a bonus that doesn't answer mrpwtf's question but extrapolates from my answer...that the reason all this seems so confusing is because we have chosen to view ourselves as separate from the universe at all. In the same way what we are to others appears as a shadow on the wall, cast from who we are to ourselves...what we appear to ourselves is the shadow on the wall cast from what we truly are (one with the entire universe). It is the flashlight that shines on a…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/26 12:41 PM
2

It's a good question and I'll try and tease apart a few pieces. But ultimately what the model does is show that there's two realities going on at all times. One is the you thats defined by the interaction of you and others, the other is the you as the one who is moving to interact. And that other people only have the ability to see the former. That limitation has dangerous effects on us. And it's important to keep in mind that while we can take their view as a suggestion of who we are, that it i…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/26 12:03 PM
3

Left on read Is everything okay? Yeah don't do this. Actions, not words. Her actions said "Not interested." You wanted words of consolation. This is you covertly bitching about her silence. It's either a hell yes, or a no. If she wants you in her pants, you won't need to write "Everything ok?" When I was OLDing my one main mantra was "If she wants you, she'll crawl through glass to get you." Read Anti-Dump's machine. "I am what I am." Plausible deniability. Ask yourself why you can't come right …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/26 12:50 PM
1

I understand it was her response...but response to what? What is she apologizing for? Why is she justifying her time/attention to you? I very much doubt it was without provocation on your side. Are you willing to share the exact wording you used that made her reply like this?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/26 11:10 AM
1

100% agree with dbman. Look how much mental effort you're taking to make her case for her. Imagine if a court case worked like that. You come in as the defendant and go "Your honor, the prosecution says I killed that guy. Admittedly I did shove the knife into him a few times. Though he did call me a cunt. I'm not sure in my mind whether the stabbing was justified or not but they say it wasn't...so I guess I need to figure out if I'm okay with being Mr. Stabby." Part of living with integrity is a…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/26 11:08 AM
1

I was very busy. I'm very sorry. But it's you who ghosted me This sounds like you bitched to her that she was ghosting you. Did you?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/26 10:55 AM
1

Can't get a read on where you're at, especially because of what she was doing on your last OYS. My advice is that it's always easy to change for a week. You being stoic or her deepthroating or you both talking it over. The term "hysterical bonding" here is usually used for her quick changes sexually, but the idea applies to every aspect of the relationship. Couples will often go through quick "trial" periods of corrections...but it's the enduring value that matters. The stay plan is the go plan,…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/26 01:31 AM
2

You just live in your own frame Such a pleasant reality it is when you get there. I think OP has potential. He just needs to thread the needle. last night my wife wanted to have sex This morning with mine. She had to get up hours before me. I didn't want to wake myself up to fuck. I had to give her a "After work you're mine." to reassure her she will get fucked today. Just not now.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/26 02:07 PM
5

My mindset finally changed. No it hasn't. You understand it intellectually. You see the potential. But you haven't changed yet. Because... relationship based on love, affection and sex ... with my wife but if she doesn't ... it will be with another woman ...this mindset didn't lead to action...at all. In fact not only didn't you not go do something to even begin in the smallest way to redirect your attention away from your wife...you stuck around trying to ask her permission to make it happen. b…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/26 01:49 PM
5

forever-oriented There's no need to put an end to the story, now. Which means you can go in living for today. But it also means you can go in AS IF it were forever. I was talking to a work friend long ago. Fresh off a break up. He said "Man I met this girl last night. Great chemistry. I like her. I just don't want to lock myself in again so soon." I said "Dude no one's asking you to commit to 20 years right now. Go have fun with her tonight. And if she's still worth it have fun with her tomorrow…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/26 08:00 PM
2

in hindsight that was a weak move to comply Emphasis that it was not a weak move to comply. It would not have been a strong move to not comply. Weak/strong/congruent...all these terms are relative to what IS important: What you wanted. You want sex. You also want to flirt. You also want a engaged, happy wife. You also want to be congruent. If one of these things conflicts with the other...say no flirting leads to sex, but now you can't flirt, which is incongruent...is that worth it? If no flirti…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/26 03:24 PM
2

Why don’t you try backing off a little and see if that makes me hornier This is multi-pronged of course. But the main thrust is "Are you congruent? Is this who you really are?" There's nothing wrong with the level of innuendo and sexual teasing you're doing, if it's coming from who you really are. Meaning you're not trying to be someone by doing it. Not trying to make a point. Not trying to change her mind or sway her. So she's mostly trying to figure out if this is you. But also, this is clearl…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/26 11:03 AM
5

can't let go I do it all the time. You could use it as a tool if you want. Are you choosing that? Or being led by it? guys simply don't STFU and enjoy what's being offered The fuck is this? Because that's not what they want? How can you in one sentence tell guys to lean into what they aren't getting and in the next tell them STFU and take what she's willing to give? OP did it in a Rambo sperg way yeah. Maybe that's what you were trying to criticize? More meta: He's playing a game against her gam…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/26 10:41 AM
3

Feel free to vicitim nuke me ... or give me some good material to read the get over this low phase. This is gay. Do some work. Then you can smoke a blunt and pontificate. Then maybe someone will invest.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 01:08 PM
2

blamed me for her bad mood and asked me to lift her up more You know, one thing I've never seen mentioned in the manosphere is this not-so-subtle game all women seem to play where they purposefully allow themselves to over feel. It's not just normal woman feels. It's women knowing they are prone to feels, and then using that as an excuse to overindulge in them. It's akin to an alcoholic allowing themselves to get drunk, pissing themselves, and then asking you to help clean them up. I've told min…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 12:36 PM
4

4 years ago: This shit is no way to live. I can’t not leave. I also pointed out very unambiguously that the answer to the question whether I am staying if the relationship is shit, is no. 3 years ago: Also, there is no warmth or affection left at all. Now, we have (mostly bad) sex about three times per month 2 years ago: very little affection and enthusiasm inside and outside of the bedroom this type of sex doesn’t do it for me. Today: I want to give it one last shot before I nuke it Again, I ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 12:17 PM
1

What metric are you using I honestly do not know. I know you don't. I'm sure it's inconsistent And this inconsistency is exactly the reason you aren't "strong, disciplined, and persistent". But even if you were... could've been unbothered could've even made it fun You still haven't defined what it means to be strong, disciplined, persistent, unbothered, or fun. This is why those words are fluff. Strong to who? Fun how?. Who is it that is calling what you're doing "unbothered"? And how do they fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/26 06:07 PM
1

how I will choose to manage it Provide strength, discipline, and persistence This is fluff. I get to choose if the problem at hand is worth reacting to But you don't know right now what makes a problem worth reacting to. So you're effectively saying "I'm going to do what I decide to do when I come to a conclusion of what the proper decision is." We're getting to juicy part though...which also happens to be the hard part. So focus in on answering the following: if the problem at hand is worth rea…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/26 02:49 PM
1

The sad part is, it's not that you're mad at her for not making money. You're mad at YOU because YOU haven't decided if that's acceptable or not. Is it acceptable? Or not? What's holding up your decision on your mind? My girl makes 1/3 what I make. We split most things 50/50. I elect when I want to cover more. And sometimes she even turns that down. When we move in together, we will write a contract where the future equity is divided as a fraction of what each of us pays for the mortgage. If I c…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 11:01 PM
4

You seem to give a lot of advice. But all the while you waffle in almost every aspect of your own life. And it comes off very "gray man wearing different masks", as if you're creating a character to play at each area of your life that tries to embody who you want to be...but they arent you. They're "him"...that guy you're playing to be. That's why everything still affects you. That's why you get mad at things you thought you were over and directionless when facing uncertainty. I picked up medita…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 03:56 PM
4

Just as, if not even more hilarious
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 02:48 PM
2

Probably the best I can do is just acknowledge what's happening, STFU, and just not get on the shame-coaster How can you apply the idea of boundaries and value ranking you had success with above to your hamstering here?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 02:35 PM
2

Bang and Day Bang. Day Bang made me realize just how little "game" you needed to close. The tactics are almost literally "be a normal person".
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 11:17 AM
3

Man...sometimes I wonder if I've been here too long when I can physically feel the nutsack of plausible deniability dragged across my face. "I'm no one special. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" Do your thing man. I don't really have a say otherwise. Just letting y'all know I See You.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/26 06:39 PM
2

Not for you. Keep doing what you're doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/26 06:26 PM
1

It's really weird to me when new users come on here and seem to speedrun an RP journey in a few OYSs and then speak in a manner that feels like they've been here for years. Like people can't feel a narrative being shoved down their throats even though they're not exactly sure what it is. Is it engagement? Some kind of straddling the fence of "I need to improve, yet I also am improved."? Real talk: What are you here for? Because in just 5 OYSs it seems like your story is "I fell asleep at the whe…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/26 12:17 PM
4

Part 2: When I say "disentangle yourself from cause and effect" what I'm asking you to do is to stop rolling the dice. Now, you just did in this OYS what a lot of guys do when I ask them to stop rolling the dice. They stop...and then they roll the dice to see what chemical happens when they stop rolling the dice. For you, you simply stated your mindset to your fiance...and then watched to see how her reaction benefitted you or not. But that's not what I'm asking you to do. I'm asking you to stop…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 01:59 PM
2

Part 1: The first attempts gave mixed results. Again, you're not doing it for the results. Here's some meta. Great read for anyone, newbs and vets alike: Your dopamine circuit in your head has a job. The job is to compare what happens in life to what you are expecting to happen. If they are the same, it releases a sweet, sweet hit of chemical. If not, it doesn't. Your entire life up until now has had the "What is supposed to happen" metric dictated by others. You call it your "want" (IE, "I want…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 01:58 PM
1

I want a problem free life. I believe however in my innate ability to solve problems. So problems arent really "problems". See how I frame that? You can get there through belief (irrational self confidence) or the cliche not giving a fuck what others think. But in reality the only way is to experience that after enough "problems", you're still alive and capable. And that's all you're really shooting for. Tell yourself whatever you need to get yourself to experience the experiences you need to ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/26 03:09 PM
2

curiosity Ok you know what? I can get behind that. But It cost me nothing It did cost you. Your time and effort. Now your hierarchy is yours. And if you tell me this curiosity is more valuable than time spent on finding a better plate and no ego is involved in losing a plate (like "It feels good to have plates so let me keep her around" or "What will MRP say if my next OYS has me with 0 current plates"), if those aren't the case then I'd stand behind you. That said... if she comes and acts respo…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/26 07:03 PM
2

No I would have sat back and let it go right from here. If she was feeling it, she can pick up the slack. if you’re feeling weird I don’t want to close my eyes felt forced Same shit couple of whys Jesus you're putting a lot of effort into a plate that isn't spinning I'll keep her around Fucking WHY???
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/26 01:57 PM
4

I behaved like she was dead and I was going to do what I needed to do There is definitely a difference between the feelings of "I'll do it myself, because you won't", "You're not meeting my expectations", and "I don't need this, but it's always appreciated when you do it." The first is war games. The second is co-dependent. The third is what I think you peeked into this week. Get here with all your interactions. By the end of my marriage this is where I was at. And I took that into my current re…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/26 12:42 PM
1

Very cool. And good insights into yourself. I have more, but I think it best for you to chew on this and experiment in the coming weeks. You have the leads. Now just chase them down.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/26 12:32 AM
5

response to You're still playing war games. Attack and defense. Move and counter. Let me be clear: This does not "mean" anything. It's not trying to counter. It's not trying to win. It's not trying to put you into a position that is "judging" and thus subversively putting her as "less than" by being judged. It's not shrugging her off attempting to win by making her give up. It's not trying to give off daddy vibes. It's not trying to respond to the past to contextualize it. And it's not trying to…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/26 12:26 AM
1

There’s nothing I need to communicate other than a boundary and that I’ve moved on to something else. Good. Now...is there something you want to communicate?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/26 12:00 AM
3

maybe i will share less and less with you Never underestimate the power behind the words "That's disappointing."
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/26 09:38 PM
2

why are you asking her... Might be a backhanded "This isn't my problem to solve...but the door is open if you'd like to put the effort in." If so, solid response.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/26 09:37 PM
1

So in order for her to let go and laugh, and have fun in this playground, she needs to feel safe first. Yes. However, That safety will come... I cannot explicitly comment past the fact that she needs to feel safe, and you need to feel capable, to reciprocally play. I cannot comment explicitly on how that safety will come. Why? Because the very definition of safe necessitates we define unsafe. And unsafe is defined by the very individual personality, lifestyle, culture, background, history, traum…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/26 01:36 PM
1

it's difficult to accept transactional sex Trying not to swamp you here because you have a lot of work from all the good advice these last few weeks. But I wanted to put this bug in your ear to think about: Why is transactional sex difficult to accept when you've seen both sides of the coin? Rhetorical because I know the answer. I know the emotions it invokes. But I want you to dig deeper into those answers and keep asking "why" and when answering asking "are those reasons who I actually want to…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/26 03:03 PM
1

Horns has a good point and just as a small addition for clarity...eventually, you can be as light and cool as you want. I talk sometimes about building a playground that you both can play in. But the playground is secured by the knowledge that she is safe in it... evolutionarily in much the same way your country has built a playground that lets you go to the store and buy bacon without fear of being jumped and killed, as might happen trying to get food in the wild. But...she has to experience th…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/26 02:22 PM
2

she initiated Sounds like she's got good friends that talked some sense into her. Take note that "sense" does not equal "attraction". "I love you" is not "I desire you". Hysterical bonding 100% if I don’t meet your needs why the fuck are we getting married? Kinda amusing how literally everyone is asking you this question. I remember your reply a few weeks ago. Sounds like a solid plan. But don't forget too that it's easy to slip into a mindset that MRP "works" and that if you just employ it "rig…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/26 01:19 PM
2

I saw a comedy short on instagram once. It was a guy telling a story about how he was talking to his German friend and asked "What happens in Germany if you have your license revoked, but...ya know...you jump in and take her for a short drive." And he said his friend replied "But you can't...you don't have a license." And the guy said "I know I know but...ya know...what if you just...did anyway." And he said his friend started to panic and said "You cannot! It's literally impossible. You aren't …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/26 12:34 PM
1

Caveat that Im too old to know the subtly of genZ brevity. I know genalpha has it bad...but anyway... His success definition was I agree. send her something along the lines I've seen the backend of women gossip about potential men. And if they like you, they whip their friends into a frenzy and their friends are encouraging a date to get more gossip. To me, a heart emoji is a token "You're not a creep, but you don't have a chance if it's not after 2pm and I've struck out tonight." This woman wou…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/26 12:24 PM
2

but I kind of DGAF if she reads this anyway. Uh huh...which is why you made a new account in the first place...right? sexual details I can understand her point of view I can too. So she just doesn't want to be discussed not including them anymore is a valid move. As long as incongruencies can still be addressed. But she did not read beyond the “relationship” Bro...there's no way you can believe this can you? It's like leaving a kid alone in a room with a plate of cookies...she absolutely ate one…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/26 05:25 PM
3

I am a frequent user posting under this new account. My old account and entire post history was discovered and read by my wife. I was confronted about it. What purpose does including this information serve other than to potentially dox yourself to your wife who is absolutely still trolling OYS to find you?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/26 04:27 PM
1

The problem isn't the advice. The problem is your ego first becoming defensive that you literally cannot follow the advice (due to your injuries) and then attempting to shame others into changing that advice to include yourself as a special case. It's the very same thing that happens when society adds another letter to the LGBTQF29whateverelse flag. It's all reactionary shame. This is coming from a guy who regularly calls out MRP for being niche and also gets some prickly feedback. The differenc…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/26 03:08 PM
1

Poor unfortunate souls. And yet... Edit: But also, if someone is acting entirely congruent, it is impossible for you to tell whether that's ignorance or a fully-flushed out model. It only reveals itself in the bitching, in the reaction to failure.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/26 09:53 PM
2

Yes. And of course it's a function of the metric...it works if the metric you're using is based on full understanding and incorporation of the value of relationships according to your hierarchy. If the metric is well-defined and serves you, it doesn't matter if the first woman fits it. But usually it's not. So guys get stuck again. I think the important thing is, if you're always "If it breaks it breaks", it folds an erroneous or shitty metric into the process and says "If I need to further refi…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/26 09:01 PM
4

If it breaks it breaks 100% yes. Get to this point utterly and completely. It's how I approached playing the field post marriage. I had 4 leads when I was dating my current and when asked on our 4th date what this was and what I wanted, I said that the first woman that I've vetted as a pleasant fit to my life that asks for exclusivity, I'll give it. Dating is hollow. I want to build something. She wasn't sure what she wanted yet. And didnt ask. Another date or two goes by and she decides she doe…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/26 08:05 PM
2

Caveat behaving for others is nice guy behavior. being more romantic Tell me in your own words, what you do when you are being what You would define as romantic. (Not wikipedia. Not what you see or hear "should" be done. What do you do?) Now tell me what you think your wife wants when she says "Be more romantic". Is this a case of you not doing what you think you are? A case of her not seeing it? A case of definitions being out of sync? Side story #1: I fuck in a lot of different ways and positi…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/26 07:49 PM
5

You’re having problems typing words or just showing me attitude? Difference between plates spinning themselves and you spinning them. Also a representation of what "works" versus value and frame. Sure...a little bullying text doesn't cost you a lot. But you having to create the polarity in your own mind and tracking when to send it and when to let the lead go for a bit...and how that dynamic affects what value you get...all I'm saying is be aware. If it's worth the wet hole, keep em in the kitty…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/26 02:46 PM
2

Nice
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/26 02:37 PM
1

in a way that each day matters And what does that mean, for a day to matter? I didn't agree that there was even a problem There is nothing wrong with adding value to your life. But it would be egoic to not understand how your changes affect others. It's your job to tease apart the difference here: added a stupid dance class to our schedule My girl has big emotions especially as a part of her cycle. I have one big boundary with respect to them: "You can cry and bitch and complain about the real f…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/26 10:37 PM
1

FRs were basically MRP lore. People complaining the sub is dead are experiencing FOMO that they werent part of the world-building. Id bet my house figuring out women WILL happen again within a new context, within the next decade or so.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/26 03:19 PM
3

Because if things don't conform to your comfort level, then it's a "problem" right?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/26 03:11 PM
5

The subtle lack of care whether the plan that guides your transformation is structured by you or someone else is telling. I challenge you to do this yourself. You already listed what seems like the important focus areas for you. Now structure it and breath life into it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/26 12:54 PM
2

Ego about a small back and forth? That would be something. I thought it relatable to Horn's comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/26 11:03 AM
3

sieze whats been offered on a silver platter Validation addiction Nothing has been offered. Nothing could be gained. This is advanced notes beyond the whole fake it til you make it. Keep it in your back pocket: When a wife offers an observation of her husband's social proof, he responds with a one-liner that confirms that he knows this already, and that it's true. This attracts her. He enjoys her attraction, and feeds into it with a good fuck. All of this stuff happens, truly. But the why's and …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/26 09:56 PM
3

Transactional I had a convo with mine just recently discussing her last minute Christmas shopping: It's gonna be a mess out there. Wanna come with me? Not at all. But I thought you loved me? :D I'll make it worth your while... What did you have in mind? Something that involves my mouth and you. Sounds fun. But sex isn't for rewards. It's for love and passion. I love you. I love you! Breaking this down for those reading along. Subtext communicated in (): It's gonna be a mess out there. Wanna come…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/26 03:32 PM
3

Part 2: Except...for one huge neon indicator of how someone else walks that path. And I think this is what /u/10000kg means when he says he can sense ego. The sign is that ego is present is when someone is wholely invested in the idea that the path they walk makes them "better" than someone else for it. Because one of the huge huge huge lessons one learns when identifying the pattern I'm talking about in real life is the relativity of literally everything. What I mean by that is explained by see…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/25 03:30 PM
4

Part 1: Generally speaking, everyone has ego, because ego cannot be eliminated; it can only be seen. This is a great insight. And while I agree in strict principle that ego cannot be eliminated, I disagree in that I believe the relationship between self and the effort necessary to eliminate ego is asymptotic. Meaning that we all have the capacity to reduce ego, either by brute force or by adjusting the means by which we engage with life. But that the more we try to eliminate, the more effort it …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/25 03:30 PM
3

It is interesting, because I can see the way the spirituality can come across as ego. The thing is, I can also see that without the ability to see the types of things being spiritual allows you to see, the only way to explain this type of behavior in a rational way is to attribute it to ego. And indeed there is even those who, once seeing these kinds of things, do attach their ego to it and think they're better. It's kinda the same thing as when noobs say that the mods are full of ego. Yeah...so…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/25 07:09 PM
6

Part 2: Well, do you feel better now. I thought I'd run until the sky comes out. And with the sunlight on my face, something changed. I'm just trying to feel alive. You've climbed a mountain are you satisfied? You stand at the top, you already want to do this one more time. Maybe it's a gift that I didn't recognize. Maybe I don't really need to feel satisfied. Maybe it's a gift that I spent all this time...trying to feel alive. (Trying to Feel Alive - Porter Robinson) Because there's three metap…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/25 01:45 PM
10

Part 1: I went hiking last summer in Colorado for the purpose of climbing to the top of a 14er...a mountain with a peak above 14,000 feet. After a few hours of constant switchbacks and a variety of changes of scenery, I was cresting a hill and noticed that there wasn't anything peaking over the top of the crest...no trees...no more mountains...nothing. It was a familiar sight from previous hikes and I whipped my camera out to take a video as I approached it because I knew in just a few seconds I…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/25 01:45 PM
1

Hypergamy is just our story we put to the dynamic between the lion and antelope. Maybe some pieces of that story allow us to become better in our own right if we believe it. But it is different from the actual reality.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/25 05:26 PM
1

Shitty women are shitty to men who aren't shitty. To those who are, the idea that women are shitty distract shitty men from seeing they're shitty. Though, whether or not women are shitty really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is, do they have a point? Meaning is OP in a position where he can/wants to become less shitty from his own perspective, which just so happens to also be why women seem shitty to him? Because OP can't make an objective judgement on if he's shitty, or women are, …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/25 03:54 PM
1

It always seems difficult to explain "one level up" because guys haven't held enough of a model in their head to understand what "levels" mean and the implications or advantages of suspending lower levels to see higher ones. Almost as if to talk that way, you need to explain the way you're going to explain things to them first.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/25 04:11 PM
2

If Pook made you angry, you have deeply rooted insecurities. Pook is lighthearted and fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/25 04:05 PM
3

If you have any questions, let me know. Thanks. (Horns asks a question) (Passive-aggressive challenging of the basis of the question)
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/25 03:24 PM
1

Just wait until you find out you're the one that shapes the darkness and the light ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/25 01:30 PM
3

This is gonna be a bit long and whimsical. But intellectually stimulating. Just a warning. In Japan, they have events called tea ceremonies that involve strict, and sometimes seemingly senseless rules of etiquette. For example at some point the host may pour everyone else's tea. And then, getting to himself, he pauses for a moment, as if to consider the implications of pouring his own tea, and what it says about his guests. And then he's to attempt to pour his own tea. At this moment, someone el…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/25 01:13 PM
1

but as the mother of my kids I'm having to learn So...whos changing in this situation? You? Or her? It sounds to me like you're rolling over because she has cards to play (mother of kids, plus likely cash and prizes) and you can't do a damn thing about her playing them...Rabid dog and buzz saw. Tactics The entirety of the necessity of your "tactics", in fact the entirety of MRP comes from the fact that you have to try to change yourself such that you can act like you're in control of her ability…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/25 05:07 PM
1

No comment other than keep this shit up. The effort to explore and learn is obvious. This is the way.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 10:24 AM
3

Rage is powerful. And when you get past it, you'll miss it a bit. A lot of the books you're reading are keeping your mind in a circle of rage. Describing the situation but not proposing a way out or making you think. I'm going to suggest a few more advanced books for ways forward: The Way of the Superior Man The Book of Pook The Alabaster Girl I've Had Better (episode 1 only) by Esther Perel. Edit: I'd really recommend I've Had Better to men of all competency levels of MRP. I highly advise liste…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 10:21 AM
6

Is getting married really wise /u/MerlinsIdiotBrother id reeeeaaallly think about this if I were you. When is your wedding? And do you have a prenup? I get it, you're in deep...it'd be so hard to back out...what would people think...and even if you suggested it she'd likely hysterical bond until she got the ring on you...so is doubt even worth it? But you have what every man in MRP wishes they had: An out from a dead bedroom and her taking cash and prizes. At this stage a brilliantly happy life …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 02:46 AM
2

You've answered this very logically. But Horns isn't blind to the subtly that you are measuring success by having date nights, and not by simply having fun. Which belies your model that you're dating her through blocks to check. And we know the type of guy who does this. Some of you guys act like 8 year olds trying to fool their parents. Forgetting that we've been here over a decade and you are just incarnation #203 of a certain type of beta. You might even think you really are that spontaneous …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 02:35 AM
4

A little of both I'd wager. He has the uncomfortable tension. But at the same time he truly feels this doesn't have to be awkward anymore. He tries to shortcut and feel what it would be like when she freely believes she doesn't have to be awkward either (validation for his work). But as you said he needs to sit in and have strength in that transition. End of the day we're pointing out flaws of a man transitioning through actual progress. Which is a lot more than what most men here achieve.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 02:21 AM
2

Some good nuance from both sides here and good shit for those listening in. I appreciate the rebuttal. I did my 'job' as her mate This is probably very much derived from my unique frame, but for me I will happily engage, even if I don't want to, in a positive feedback loop. Meaning if the energy it takes me to listen results in a net positive for us, I will put in that energy. Reminds me of the biggest qualm I had with my ex: "It takes absolutely nothing for you to lay there and get fucked. And …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 10:17 PM
2

I'm fine with disagreeing. I caveated that it has to be done without intention to "train". Something probably very difficult to do judging by where most MRPers come from in their marriages. And find that the whole "hoping she comes around" itself is its own roundabout training and sacrificing. For me, I don't have energy to give to situations that aren't what I want. I'm done hoping others come around to be what I want. Ships leaving. They're either on or off. But I will admit that since MRP is …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 08:22 PM
1

resigned “ok” and duty vibes I'm gonna put out a potentially controversial opinion. But next time you're getting resigned sex, just stop. Don't rub it in her face. Don't take pride in the fact that you're turning down lackluster sex. Don't convince yourself you have higher standards or options. Don't run out to the gym to get away when that's not what you would normally do. And let's be clear, don't do this if it's truly duty sex. Meaning she usually gives you a good time. You're both usually in…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 07:06 PM
3

Sex/Relationship ALL OF THIS was written as the pleasure you get from her pleasure. Your dominance isn't because youre dominant. It's because you see she likes dominance. Your variety isn't because you like variety. But because she responds well to it. Doesn't matter, had sex. But notes to consider for future growth.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 04:23 PM
3

this doesn’t need to be an awkward topic Agreed. This is still OP trying to get instant gratification of who his wife might turn into instead of being comfortable with who he is (becoming) and letting others think what they will and come along when they do.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 04:14 PM
3

It is said in Zen that everything is a mirror. But the only thing it reflects is the experience you have when you look into it. A tree is a great mirror, because its reflection into your eyes allows you to experience exactly what you do when you see it. They say women are great mirrors to a man. Who is "they"? They're idiots People are mirrors. But they're tinted mirrors, warped mirrors, cloudy mirrors, and broken mirrors. They don't reflect you. They reflect who they see you to be, after it's f…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 04:03 PM
2

We're all mad here.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/25 08:29 PM
1

Or holding onto so much anger to the point where I can't kiss her after a fight. Layered selves and circular solutions to linear problems. Topics too advanced because they describe how the propensities you have both as yourself and being human put you in the position you're in. I'll refrain from expanding because it seems like from the rest of your reply, you got the point. I will address: TRP when you are single and running through plates and when you are in a LTR with kids is a whole different…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/25 07:08 PM
1

When I strip away the larping and ego this is my genuine self. These are words. Tell me an example of when you remained your genuine self in the face of rejection. If you can't, go experience that.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/25 02:09 PM
1

I may have fucked up here, but I was honestly just disgusted by the thought of kissing her. So...being your honest self is a fuck up? but the reading I've been doing about not going RAMBO and STFU are sticking with me If you are only experimenting with STFU now, then you're whole "I found TRP 10 years ago" is BS. You are just learning to walk. So maybe it's not that being your honest self is a fuck up...but you aren't capable of being your honest self yet. Because the graduate level question to …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/25 02:06 PM
2

Skimmed your past 5 OYSs. You are ALL over the place. Exploring down avenues old and new and then making a U-turn back out of them to convince yourself you have some power and agency. It's all a very normal exploration post-trauma. But it's making you stagnate. What's the long-term vision of yourself. And is what you're engaging with working toward that?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/25 12:55 PM
2

Key takeaway here is this is a great FR on what it looks like to introspect on the hows and whys you engage with life the way you do. Take the particular of the race out of it, or the origin story, and the meat is still there. My father recently quit going to church. Partially because I've been talking to him about my thoughts on life, the flow, etc. And he gets it. The past two months he's been assessing how he got to this point and why. And is coming to some conclusions: That he needed 70somet…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/25 03:15 AM
1

The overall tone is strident compared to what it was in prior years. The mods can help re-shape the tone if they so choose. TONE POLICING? What rule is that again? I've answered this kind of shit before but think its best summed up in these two quotes: "But blarg, how come the advice has to be so pointy and rough?" Because the endurance of a new idea in your existing model is directly proportional to the impact that idea has on you. And trauma is extremely impactful. The locker-room is simply a …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/25 02:39 AM
5

That's a very interesting narrative you have there. Sounds a little emotionally charged. Don't forget MRP isnt something to lament the death of or need to be saved. A group of men came together to increase the S/N of TRP. Figured a bunch of shit out. Most left. Some stay behind for their own reasons. I do agree with your last paragraph.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/25 02:30 PM
1

We need to be careful not to try and get too deep in /u/FutileFighter 's wife's head in an attempt to proactively "fix" things. The hierarchy of games is: 1: Nothing matters. 2: If he chooses it, marriage matters. But he has a prenup and plan. So it doesn't matter. 3: If he chooses it to, the dynamics IN his marriage matters along with #2. But he has logical mental models, so it doesn't matter. 4: If he chooses it to, his wife thinks he's a problem along with #2 and 3. But his shit is on lock, s…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/25 03:49 PM
1

her desire to believe the narrative is because blaming me is easier than doing the hard work This is the "of course it is" answer. What I'm trying to get at is Why? Why now? Women and weak men don't manifest narratives. They are told them and then want those who do manifest them (you and I) to validate them. Who is telling her the narrative? Why now? The answer to those questions for my ex was "Her emotional affair is love-bombing her...telling her she is fine as she is." Combined with a spate o…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/25 06:53 PM
2

Preface: Noobs need not seek advice from this OYS. It is too advanced for them. convinced herself and developed this narrative to a degree / scale that is absurd My gut feeling here is that she wants this narrative to be true, but isn't used to projecting a frame. So it's a very timid "Can you manifest my narrative against you with the power it seems like you have to manifest yours?" Which, just to highlight, is the very thing Leonidas fell for last week (that it's clear you wont). BUT you know …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/25 03:35 PM
1

I see the similarity. Something inside of me wants to comment that the Why behind not getting upset, not making rules, and not making threats is important...and the structure of the models of what we call "Soft Next" is just a name to characterize how that way of behaving looks. But...maybe another day. I will say if you can find a copy, check out Anti-Dump's Machine. It definitely feeds into the theme of what we're talking about. In a nutshell: As long as you know what you want, sort things int…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/25 02:09 AM
1

You're welcome.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/25 09:56 PM
1

I apologized for letting her down my instinct is to apoligize to blarg and futile and boring I really should be apologizing to myself I don't even have to go on a rant. You already know what I'm going to say about those quotes. not to be my fuckin cheerleader. Lol you couldn't be more wrong.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/25 01:50 PM
3

No more 1/1 hangouts with Chad Still up for debate in my mind. And it harkens back to days when we debated not allowing wives to go to GNO too. Here's my take: If your woman is going to cheat on you, she's going to cheat. If she is going to put herself into situations where she has the propensity to cheat, she will. And you, trying to stop her from being her natural self by restricting that, is not only going to either drive her to go underground with her actions, but want to do it more to resis…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/25 03:11 PM
4

easier to blame me than to own her own faults and flaws Exactly. And in an attempt to be fair we used to say "ok, I'll meet you halfway" in an effort to provoke some change in her. We'd go and absolutely kill it in our part of the bargain, but would she do the same? No. In fact there'd be no progress as all her energy would be directed at criticizing our efforts rather than attending to her own. It's like trying to deal with the most narcissistic car salesman ever. Come in knowing the value of w…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/25 01:10 PM
3

Nah. Don't answer with words. Because I know they don't resonate in you. You don't feel them as truth because you haven't experienced them when executing your plan while having them as a reference. I'm being literal when I say do your thing and keep them in your mind. You're going to find some success in taking your wife on a date. And you'll doubt me. Other times you'll give her a gift and she'll be harpy, and a piece of what I said will ring true. Over time you'll have experienced enough exper…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/25 08:41 PM
4

I could go on another tear and break your questions down and nudge you in the right direction. But sometimes I think it's enough to say: "There is a perspective that answers all your questions yet somehow still aligns exactly how I've described things. Ask yourself if that were so, HOW would you have to tweak your thoughts and perspective so that it made sense?" Continue with your plan. Seriously. It'll be a good reference along the way. But keep asking that question.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/25 06:42 PM
19

I understand now that when I fulfill her needs it enhances her ability to fulfill my needs. Great! You've figured out what you need to do to satisfy the false narrative she's spun around herself that permits her to (at the very least) test the waters of what an emotional branch swing would feel like. Now all you have to do is rise to meet her shifting narrative for the rest of her life, which will likely entail ever more ridiculous hoops to jump through until you burnout or grow a spine, which i…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/25 02:43 PM
1

My BS detector went off on his very first OYS. Also not sure what this guy is but there's definitely a game being played.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 01:50 PM
1

You've been on fire in OYS lately.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 01:45 PM
1

order Can matter Sure it can. It also cant. Think about what you're saying. In an almost infinite mix of personalities and life experiences, the order of how someone learns and applies new information can matter. Of course it can. And sure, there will be a group of people who apply it too fast. Ever hear of the group that didn't? Of course not. They don't have the learning experience of erring in order to voice an opinion. There's also other categories of guys, like some who apply it too hard, s…
/r/askMRP14/10/25 02:33 PM
1

I always love FRs like this. Stirs up my ego. Which is a signal I always watch for as an opportunity for some good self-analysis. Makes me wonder if the life I chose and the standards I set are worthy. And moreso whether those choices were mine or am I running from a raw inability to make it happen. And it's a win-win either way. If I determine I'm running, I can self-correct. If I'm not, it's great self-reinforcent. Keep killing it bro.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/25 04:22 PM
1

The problem with the way you're thinking is: There is no secret order of information. No correct list. There is no universal "right" man. In fact, a man who was perfect in game/frame/looks that he wowwed everyone he came in contact with would actually be a shell of a man, programmed only to wow others according to who they needed him to be rather than be himself (IE Dancing Monkey). And while the hook of Red Pill is that you finally found a place that knows the secret key of being a man, growing…
/r/askMRP09/10/25 02:26 PM
1

Admittedly the sidebar as it stands is nothing more than a shotgun blast of random information. NMMNG, WISNIFG, and Rational Male 1 are absolute core books for those finding the Red Pill path. Divorce prep posts are definitely needed to triage someone in the path of a speeding divorce train. 60 DoD was the equivalent of RP pride month(s) and used to feed men's sense of comradery and purpose, so that should stay. There's some books that were massively influential on my journey that aren't there t…
/r/askMRP08/10/25 03:07 PM
6

Every man's fantasy is to get the piss beat out of them, come back more powerful, and succeed. Either that, or die a martyr. OP knows exactly the position he's in. On a grand scale, he knows what he wants. But he's playing this game with himself where he assumes the life of his old self and tries to force it through the eye of a needle using what he's learned. In my head, I see Tom Cruise on a motorcycle speeding across a bridge that's collapsing all around him, with a drawbridge half raised ahe…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/25 12:08 PM
3

Discover meaning through my deepest desires You won't "discover" meaning there. The manifestation of your deepest desires in life is derived by the innate meaning already in you. They are a representation of it (the meaning). The universe is inherently meaningless. You may "discover' (reveal) the aspects of you from which the shapes of things that reflect this innate meaning manifest. But that is more like peeling back the unconscious in order to consciously see them. Pedantic, but I'm making su…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/25 03:54 PM
1

Disappointed in what?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/25 04:50 PM
2

for not spending enough time with her Your relationship is transactional. Instead of addressing the lack of time with you, she's using hugs as revenge. Her intent is to use hurt to address her needs. By not addressing that narrative, you are tacitly supporting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/25 04:41 PM
3

I've been asking friends to spar with me for years. Because even though I'm built, I know I lack the experience of fighting. Recently I was able to convince this kid 15 years my younger to spar after work. We were only supposed to go 30%, but he got overly excited and started jumping around like a monkey and swinging hard. The few times he caught me in the jaw, I smiled. It felt GOOD. Why? Because I knew I just learned something. See I learned a LONG time ago that failure teaches better than suc…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/25 02:34 PM
2

All this is "true". But it's more like tactical approaches to achieve the correct balance rather than simply being the correct balance. What I mean by that is: When you live the life you want, that will likely consist of naturally doing things for you, and sharing things with her. When you share with her, she will react to it in some way. But if you are truly living and sharing your life for you, her reaction is not why you do what you do. And so shouldn't affect when or at what rate you do it. …
/r/TheRedPill27/08/25 12:20 PM
4

How to employ text game to maximize your chances at a lay? Like I said, this is the stuff that MRP was made of 10 years ago that everyone whines isn't here anymore. We used to get hard ons for 60 DoD discussing everything from Diet to Cologne. Shit it's where I learned (literally) that I should be washing my ass crack in the shower rather than letting the water run over it. The golden ratio of texting came out of it. As well as the "texting is for logistics" mantra. I employed some of Mystery's …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/25 11:15 PM
4

It's always hilarious to see who consistently shits on a post regardless of if it's one full of Rambo tactics or one that actually has actionable advice. Bro is consistently getting laid. This is what MRP used to be full of in it's hayday. Yeah it's seems "try hard" if you are consciously practicing it, like a dude trying to bicycle kick a goal in a casual soccer game. But when he finally gets it...now he's a guy that can. I've had success with the notion that it should always be you who moves t…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/25 12:54 PM
2

Could you elaborate? The old pond, A frog jumps in: Plop!
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/25 12:19 PM
1

Relativity isn’t Newton plus a gamma knob. You can't call it a complete framework swap when one devolves into the other with the error in the devolution being exactly that gamma described term. It is a modification on top of Because it’s a universal explanation. Exactly. The "that" that is happening is universal. The things we use to describe it can change and are subjective. The arithmetic facts are invariant once the rules are specified Once the rules are specified. This is the creation of the…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/25 05:42 PM
2

My take is that there is no one mission statement, it's an endless process Then why are you trying to define it? Just be it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/25 12:25 PM
1

Newtonian physics doesn't have the reach that relativity does Agreed. and just can't predict stuff like time dilation I agree. But as I said the modifications to Newtonian equations to describe this is literally adding in the extra variable (gamma). Which makes it more true. And from there we have to ask is it objectively true because the math works? Because with all things, at the end of the rabbit hole you'll find that what the "thing or idea" allowed you to see and understand is, and only is,…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/25 12:19 PM
1

I appreciate the debate and am definitely going to check out a few of your suggestions. I think more than not we agree with each other and I think it might just be a limitation of having to communicate in the way we are that is causing me trouble trying to grasp exactly why we're disagreeing about our agreement. That said: turtles<flatearth<geocentric<heliocentric<newtonian<relativity<quantumm<everettian As much as I believe science is an amazing tool that we're using to describe and take advant…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/25 02:13 PM
1

But if it is created, which I do agree it is, then it is ultimately contextualized within the perspective of the thing or group creating it via conjecture and criticism. And not just contextualized within the co-reality of the thing or group, but within the limited scope of that being(s) ability to see (first) and then "properly" weight (second) the entire continuum of the being(s) potential perspective. Case in point: The morality of ancient civilizations would differ from the morality of today…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/25 08:38 PM
1

I understand the stance you're taking and have a reply that agrees while at the same time bends the thought away from a model of "do whatever you want". But I'd first like to ask: If objective morality exists, from what does it derive?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/25 05:36 PM
1

You miss the forest for the trees. Wife, marriage, values, pussy...these are all "things". Guide posts you are using to navigate the multidimensional space of your mind. Consider though the stuff from which the things in your mind were forged. And understand that the landscape of the stuff that forged them is not discrete, but continuous. For example say you want to travel from the east coast of the US to the west. But for you, you say "because of who I am, I must go through Chicago, Denver, Hou…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/25 05:05 PM
2

To your credit, I think this is a returning banned user. Just a gut feeling though.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/25 02:08 PM
1

whose true masculinity is reflected If you never saw your reflection, would you know who you are?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/25 12:09 PM
2

I know that this is ego-stroking and that there are only two ways forward Who said you have to move forward though? The last time I felt truly fulfilled When was the last time you felt fulfilled and it didn't involve another person? You're getting a lot of advanced help this week. I suggest rereading comments randomly over the next several weeks to keep them churning in your mind. Right now they are fingers pointing at the moon. And you're looking at the fingers and thinking "wow". Look for the …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/25 12:05 PM
3

Thank God that's over. Bro was putting on a show every week. Pretty sure he was also upvoting himself immediately after posting.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/25 07:38 PM
1

Thank God that's over. Bro was putting on a show every week. Pretty sure he was also upvoting himself immediately after posting.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/25 07:38 PM
2

The Game I remember reading this back in the day. Biggest thing i learned was that this wasn't an elite group of social commandos fucking owning it in Hollywood. It was a rag-tag band of kids tripping over their own dicks trolling Hollywood for 30-something chick's and building a club and an facade of a praxeology 1 . I found Tynan's blog and pics a few years ago. They arent out there landing 10s. But still...if I didn't have kids and you asked me to run a Lord of the Flies sim with a PUA flair …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 05:18 PM
1

Good. Its great to have strong feelings. But no one cares about them. We don't. Your wife doesnt. No one does. Its akin to /u/threekindsoflucky banning dudes for writing porn here when they banged their wives. Take a note from /u/FutileFighter and just get shit done. Use whatever that grandiose narrative stirs in your belly to do it. That feeling that you have that goes "I fucking see it now. I see it and I know. I know things no one else knows in the way I know it." THATS confidence. No one can…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 03:06 PM
1

I hate replies like this. I'm saying "take another step". You're saying "I will have completed all the steps when I'm at the finish. But I'm not there yet." Of course you arent. Thats why I'm telling you to take another step.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 03:02 PM
3

having walked alongside the Grim Reaper Now, that the sun rays are breaking through the clouds and dissipating the fog in front of me Jesus fuck stop. You're not special.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 11:23 AM
1

IOIs...It doesn’t matter and it’s a distraction. Candy and ice cream are delicious. Porn is fun to watch. Being nice feels good. Alcohol removes fucks. Some people enjoy vices. Some can't indulge because it derails their entire life. For those people, they choose not to expose themselves to it. This isn't fixing the problem though. Its living with weakness by attempting to avoid the stimulus. Do you like IOIs? Then enjoy them. Just don't let it derail your progress. Avoiding the pleasure they br…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 11:12 AM
2

once you notice Huge huge huge! Because for others who dont know (havent noticed), as the saying goes you dont know that you dont know. And so tools like this appear as projections or shadows that inefficiently play in the already familiar space they do know. For instance, if you handed someone a screwdriver who's seen all kinds of tools but never a screwdriver they would ask "Whats the purpose of this?" They'd hit things with it and say "Yeah but, a hammer does this better." They'd pry things w…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/25 10:32 AM
1

Yup, its that easy. In order to be mad, you have to first decide that whats happening is something that makes you mad. This decision is usually instant and unconscious. But it always occurs before you get mad. And logically, if you think about it, it has to. How can you be mad at something you didn't decide would make you mad? How could the world incept your brain to feel a certain way? So if you simply decide to decide differently...
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/25 06:27 PM
3

You only want me for one thing. And eventually when you know she knows this isnt true: "Stop" (with a stern look) works well too. If she has insecurity, its time to get over it. If she's trying to address something else through amorphous accusations, she needs to address the issue directly instead. Frame and balls are prerequisites for this.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/25 06:20 PM
2

Welcome back.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/25 10:06 AM
2

Kids. App poon. Divorce labels. Expect all these things to feel like important things for awhile as well. Its normal to reach out and latch onto things during big transitions to try and keep yourself stable in some way. As an analogy when you rock climb, you have a tendency to overgrip when you're afraid, holding on to whatever presents itself. It drains energy and restricts movement though. Dont forget to consciously loosen your grip and look for better holds.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 06:01 AM
2

And for those reading along at home, how would you say this transformation comes about? A sudden realization? Banging your head against the wall until it the idea sits? Practice?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 05:54 AM
14

I can trust myself The very same here. "Come what may, im going to be ok. Because I can trust myself to meet the challenge." The ego reacts because its afraid of failure. The heart acts in full vulnerability of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/25 12:51 PM
3

You're welcome. I lament that I havent yet figured out how to better teach the way in which to self-analyze to this extent, instead settling for playing whack-a-mole to men as they bring up their deep issues. Truly the way extends outside of niche aspects like MRP and can help bring peace and understanding to life as a whole. And thats likely some of the problem. Most aren't searching for that kind of model right now. They're just tackling what's in front of them. And admittedly so was I in the …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/25 05:27 PM
5

Part 2: Now...we're about to get into generalizations about each sex but I think its safe to make the assumptions that when we have a case where a reality is encountered where she either doesn't care what the frame is, or you both don't know what the frame should be, that YOU as the man takes the lead and sets the frame. And again to make a generalization that I think you'd agree with, the why behind that (I could go into another rant thats twice as long on...but to keep it short) all comes back…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 06:56 PM
4

Part 1: You're doing fine. because I value her as a partner Of course! That's what marriage is all about right? Building a life together. One where you're both on the same page. Of one mind. With common goals. The thing is, not every girl is going to want to go where you're going. Or do it in the way you do. If you think back to it, this is what dating was supposed to do for you: You wade through a wide swath of women to figure out what you like, and try to find one who best fits that. What does…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 06:56 PM
1

Good. I'm glad I got your input because it reveals a bit about where your head is at. depends on the decisions of others And now the question is, why? Ill expand on that with... my need for validaton MRP buzzwords. You absolutely derive validation from her response. But thats not why you're offering her a microphone in order to respond. What else is going on there...why do you as a husband leave the door open for her to share her frame? Don't overthink it...
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 03:54 PM
1

Good! Now...if when your commands are rejected, and that causes you to tell yourself something you know not to be true (that frame is something that is negotiable and can be "moved")...what does that say about how you frame the idea of frame? In other words, if you know what frame is, and you know that the resulting thought of your frame being rejected is wrong, where in your mental model of the world is a correct thought being changed to incorrect? Where's the hangup? What thought do you need t…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 11:49 AM
1

I've got a thought for you. But first answer me this: my attempts to move action into my frame are rejected. I don’t hold back and say what I want, but it’s not met with compliance. When attempting to describe what its like to have frame, why does what you wrote above make absolutely no sense?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 11:26 AM
1

F
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/25 01:22 PM
2

You're treating your growth as a hobby, not a need. Its something for you to invest in when you have the time and feel like it. I remember the start of my journey 10 years ago. It wasn't "Oh I happened to miss a week or day", it was "I want this. And if I want this I'm gonna have to get in the ring and fight." You dont want this. You just kinda want this. Which is fine. When life gets you to a point where you're ready, you'll want it. Right now, you're just going to fade into the 99% here that d…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/25 01:13 PM
0

At the expense of a long thought, im going to ponder that there may be some ego lurking within the need to control the narrative between you and her. Ill hold off in case you want to self-explore with this thought in mind: Theres a difference between "Dont do that" and "It is not wise for you to do that and/or it doesn't serve us."
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/25 04:19 PM
6

Dynamite: (1) If I can't give something completely free of expectations, then it's a covert contract. Enlightenment does not come by seeking enlightenment. You seek to attain something you already have. If in the same way you also try to give freely in an effort to not have expectations, you will still not be giving freely. As you are expecting to not expect. The solution is found when the dynamics you have of giving and receiving are changed completely. You dont give/receive for any purpose. Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/25 11:19 AM
4

I want it to not manifest as anger if my actions don’t result in sex. I want it to manifest as determination and motivation. I don’t want to feel like I’m a slave to my libido. Imagine the essence of life pouring out of an open faucet above the ground. Anger happens when life essence is wasted. When it just spills onto the ground worthlessly. You used to catch the essence of life in a bucket. And then pour that bucket into a machine called "jacking off". And from that machine, good feelings came…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/25 07:25 PM
1

she talks about sucking my dick...so I don't know if Stop thinking "what does this mean?" IE "How can I turn what hints shes giving into what i want?" They're two different things. Push for what you want. Hard no's mean no. Not-hard-no's means push on. In parallel and further down the hierarchy, you can put effort into fueling whatever it is her talking like this means to her, as a gift you can give when your cup flows over. Maybe she just likes dirty talk. Maybe she uses it as foreplay. Maybe s…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/25 11:12 AM
3

respect her words. so I’m looking for ways to push through these boundaries, something between ignoring the old ones by just shooting a load - which I think is shitty because I know her standpoint, or is that nice guy thinking? What you're asking is: "What are the rules of boundary setting and breaking?" Let me clarify a bit more...what you are asking is "Can someone else tell me what my rules should be for boundary setting and breaking?" When your woman says "no" to a kink...how did you bring i…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/25 08:37 PM
1

Just wanted to let you know I wrote a reply for this. It was a novel. Probably at least 3x the reply text limit. I sat on it for a day to see how it felt. And honestly something keeps me from posting it. I very much enjoyed the conversation. Would love to continue. But I'm just gonna trust my gut here. I'm writing this just so you're not left hanging. I think ultimately, you will find what you're looking for if you really want it. And it'll come in its own way.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/25 09:06 PM
1

Amazing reply. reactions to your actions becomes a 'tell' denies them the ability to influence or manipulate the frame personality-level pressure flip I love the way you've phrased/rephrased these parts in particular. First in reply I want to be careful in distinguishing that though we are purely doing, the doing comes first and foremost from our pure being. Not 'being' as in the action (the act of being) either. But as in 'to be'. Alan Watts would describe it as "the such-ness of it". And ill d…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/25 12:07 PM
1

All good. Take what works.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/25 12:34 AM
1

withdrawal easily leaves the realm of being covert Agreed. But by definition, the words covert, and even overt, carry the aura of "Doing for the purpose of conveying a message." One simply characterizes the message as being relayed in secret. The other, out in the open. However, they are the duality of simply doing. and overtly displays being butthurt As above, here overt is contextualized as "displaying" (IE that the action communicates something to her.) And by using the word, we are falling i…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/25 03:44 PM
1

Beat me to it.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/25 03:56 PM
5

At times lately I’ve felt “exposed” emotionally and a bit alone Its supposed to feel like this. Every flaired member you see here is 100% alone. The difference is they have accepted, and now thrive in their isolation. And upon thriving, upon having the ability to fill your own cup by your own being, we all begin to overflow and find we have the power to give out, and give freely ourselves to others. From a Freudian perspective, this is just you continuing to let go of mommy's hand and live a lif…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/25 01:38 PM
1

So did your touching slow or not? A good call out and a mix of our two points. The touching slowed (in contrast to the effort to touch for the purpose of changing her advertised in Red's post). The touching i wanted (as a natural part of who I am) was consistent then and now. (See caveat) I had unconsciously conditioned my wife that touch means I expected sex This is your narrative you tell yourself to make sense of what happened. Because it seemed like a logical story. Here's my spin: I had to …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/25 01:49 AM
1

i touch because i want to. So you did what I said? Recalibrated yourself and allowed your woman to choose? It just so happened yours chose you. Mine didn't. The arguement isn't in what we did. We did the same thing. Our argument isn't in the result, the result is always her choosing. Our argument is why we were driven to do it and what that reveals about our frame. I see your point but your touch situation only changed because you literally have a different woman in your life. Your words betray …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/25 07:51 PM
5

In gonna call bullshit on the link. Its not because it doesn't have good tips and tricks. And its not because these tips and tricks are really just ways to try out new things in order to experiment and integrate true desire for touch into your life. But bullshit because it is not your job to, nor do I think any woman will ever allow herself to be rehabilitated by you. You arent her therapist. And she doesn't want you to be. She doesn't trust you. You've already led her off a cliff. She wants you…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/25 07:21 PM
1

Of course women can feel this. (Agree with a twist) Id wager that more often than not its not that women can feel it (IE, that women can sense the objective reality that OP is a chump). Its more like you said: OP is his definition of a chump. OP does things he thinks chumps do. She reacts to his behavior (full stop). He interprets that reaction as what a woman would do to react to a chump (hes projecting her role onto her). And then he assigns her god-like powers of chump-divination (even though…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/25 01:39 PM
3

I got a hard-on from it. Not sure if that was his intent but...here we are.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/25 11:22 AM
2

It’s unattractive Sounds like it was the right answer in that scenario ;) I get what game is being played here. And id wager given your experience that your answer was truly off the cuff fun and funny and not one to try and answer "correctly". But this type of scenario is where I'd sit back with my hands behind my head and say "As many as I want." And they'd likely become a bit less attracted to me because I wasn't playing into their game. And id not give a single fuck that they think me less at…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/25 02:25 PM
2

they love to be taken where they wouldn’t go on their own. Admittedly during my growth here, I first thought D was a cheat code. Like they all chose to like to be dominated. Then I realized at a base base level...a lot of the way women think can be contextualized by them being the weaker sex. I've gotten in the habit of asking myself "Would her behavior be rational from the standpoint of someone who doesn't basically control the world with their presence?" and 9 times out of 10 shit makes a lot …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/25 08:31 AM
2

A common sign of internalizing an idea is speaking it just so we can hear what it sounds like for our own selves to say it ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/25 08:21 AM
9

Excellent. So the question then is...why are you willingly subjecting yourself to tests within her frame? No matter if you pass or fail them, its still in her frame right? I appreciate you playing along. I was gonna post this as a post...but decided to just drop it here. The term "Shit Test" and its sister "Comfort Test" have irked me for some time. Shit test was a term coined long ago which was meant to describe (quoting BPP) "When she tests your shit." Effectively meaning when she pokes at you…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/25 08:41 PM
1

Good! Now...who holds the frame as the issuer of a shit test?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/25 07:48 PM
1

Good. Stick with me now...in your words, what's a shit test?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/25 04:42 PM
2

in the case of inevitable crossing the line What does this mean? Who's line is being crossed?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/25 01:23 PM
1

Your answer is cyclic. Realize here that I'm talking about models of models, and you're talking about models. MRP is a model of how to "unplug". But unplugging infers you're "plugged in" to a matrix. Emphasis on A matrix. Because the views you have about the world are derived by a bias view you have of the world. This helps me with a least knowing when I’m fucking up But if wrong and right are dictated by the MRP model itself, then what you've chosen to do is adopt an arbitrary model to do what …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/25 04:41 PM
1

you need some concept about what a bike even is. Seems suspiciously educated on the duality. But ill play along. So why here then? If experience in bike riding can come from some guy with an MRP shirt on offering bike riding experience...just as much as a guy wearing a "5 Love Languages" T shirt...and just as much as you simply getting on the bike with no one trying to teach you...why come to the MRP guy?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/25 04:21 PM
2

K-close, f-close, who cares. These are silly metrics you are gauging yourself by because OLD is new to you. Get to a point where a date is a date and not noteworthy because its simply an integrated part of who you are. The "close" is a natural result of the entanglement of you both. A k-close yesterday. An f-close today. They should become as mundane as saying "It was cloudy yesterday. Its sunny today." and then one step further "Yep...the weather is weather-ing." "Yep, Wild-Cheesecake is dating…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/25 12:09 PM
2

Sex Here's how you see this (your thoughts in parentheses): Told her to do something and wait for me (Lets gauge where I'm at by seeing how she responds) soft no (Shes refuting my frame) she initiated later (She knows it was wrong so she tried to make up for it it was startfishy (I look down on her peace offering) “I don’t always want sex but I want to make you happy”. (Heres her excuse) Missed a golden fucking opportunity (I could have won) to just (To fake natural alpha-ness) “sucking my cock …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/25 11:43 AM
9

Any amount of fucks is too many fucks. NGAF is not giving one single fuck. The question simply is, does OP know? If he knows, he also knows he cannot act without manufacturing a fuck in which to act. No matter how small the act, we need to manufacture a fuck to do it. If OP doesn't know, then yes...way too many fucks. I think Prax knows.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/25 06:16 PM
1

frustration came from is not wanting to play a game Good. This frustration actually hides your good will. If you like your wife, you dont want her to be playing games. You want her to come along with you in your ngaf-ness. Then when you are both in a good mental space, you can invent your own games to play within your relationship. Like an inside joke only you two get. This is where you get dom/sub dynamics. This is where you get your slut. Youve invented a safe space she can play being a sub or…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/25 01:08 PM
1

You arent first. But you are right. Here you go You're welcome.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/25 02:10 PM
6

I feel pressured I want to highlight the fact that every guy here is giving you a slightly different spin on how to address this. Why? You may think that each man is using their responses to answer a frame softly pitched by her "I feel pressured", as if what they do is a tactical answer to outmaneuver the game shes playing. To the ones who get it, they arent. Each of them are their own man, full stop. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks being that type of man by saying those types of thing…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/25 12:44 PM
5

(Tomorrow on OYS) So I did what Horns said and made a spreadsheet for my wife to track our sex. She did not stick her ass in the air. In fact she filed a restraining order. I think its just a shit test tho.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/25 11:56 PM
2

Helloooooo me 9 years ago. You need this right now. It changed my life. You're welcome: https://np.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/42thd7/edging_the_main_event/czdcpq7/
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/25 11:42 PM
1

objective reality There is no such thing. then I could get reality-checked pretty hard. Imagine a scenario where that reality check WAS love and rainbows. Its your own worldview that believes its not. necessarily bad If becoming who you are isnt important to you, sure, be someone else.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/25 12:25 PM
1

Dang. Didn't pitch me the soft ball. But don't worry ill get us there. We - group We - You and I We - I and me. Take the entirety of humanity. All 8 billion of us. We all share some kind of makeup, be it genetics, philosophy, reason, something. See how each of your "we's" separate the 8 billion into two sets? The in-group versus the out-group. You and I versus them. You and yourself (inner and outer) versus everyone else. What about "we" the entirety of humanity? Versus...who? What? What is this…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 10:11 PM
1

I agree. But I know and love the way your mind works so we can go deeper: We have to assume averages Why are we assuming that. Emphasis on "we". What happens if we don't assume averages?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 08:46 PM
1

Makes you wonder...if Rambo is only definable after the fact. I guess we could say "Sounds like Rambo". But imagine he never gets backlash, learns and tempers himself down the line, and then develops the internal drive. Do the ends justify the means?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 07:49 PM
2

This is a tell-tale sign of someone mid-way in their journey. Where they're basically throwing goals and experiences at the wall to see how it all makes them feel, with the overarching notion that its the act of throwing goals at the wall IS the mission. The final stage is when they develop who they are truly, from which they could answer your questions (first with "because its achieving what I want" (external drive) and then "because its who I am" (internal drive). Arguably (and I havent seen a…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 12:20 PM
1

I actually asked once for the number then we chitchat for another 7-10 minutes Its either a hell yes, or its a no. Edit: I'll be a tiny bit more specific. If its a no, why are you wasting 7-10 more minutes with her? You could have fit in 4-5 sets in that time that provided more value than talking to a 'no' got you.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/25 01:50 PM
1

Heh
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/25 01:45 PM
–

If your intentions are sound This is End Game. Where intention is not for anything other than its spontaneousness.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/25 10:51 PM
3

not the problem You're doing it again. Who defines what "the problem" is? I get it...every guy in here has an issue where they've spent their whole lives living within the boundaries others have set. Like a drop of oil squeezing through the gears of a machine. Its time for you to define who you want to be. Not being that person is the only thing that should define "the problem". If getting in shape solves your self-defined problem, and also happens to solve whatever she may think, hey that's awe…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/25 02:05 PM
2

It’s definitely my lack of attractiveness. It might be. What I can control right now is not being unattractive. You can control that yes. Why do you want to control it? The go-to response is “OK” and gym Why is the go-to response "OK" and why the gym? If your answer is anything other than "I want to be more attractive" and "OK is how i want to respond to denials of escalation" and "The next most fun thing on my hierarchy of awesome shit to do is go to the gym" then you're failing. I don’t think …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/25 09:28 PM
1

I was an inexperienced man that got a submissive hot woman, she stuck with me in times no else did. I wasn't at the time even 1/10 the man I'm now after her, so time well spent. Let's dig a bit deeper into this. Because (to me) my ex was also a hot submissive (though not sexual) woman who stuck with me when I wasnt even 1/10th the man I am now. The difference between me and you is she left me because I became a man that gave her anxiety over what I became. So we have something in common. But bes…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/25 12:42 AM
1

when I'm done unfucking myself that the next step. I got on the apps the very day my divorce was final. The point isnt to become the best version of you you'll ever be, then offer that to women. The point is to be the best version of yourself each day and see if anyone is interested in providing you value on your journey. And each and every day you wake up, you are the best version of you right now. One day smarter. One day stronger. So see if anyone wants to provide value to that. This life is …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/25 02:04 AM
6

Id like to throw out a mental exercise and challenge readers to see if they can separate their ego from a decision to steer your life moment by moment to a value add. To straw-man the argument to leave, there's a lot of guys who think cheating (and ill call it that even though "they were on break") is akin to "bad karma" that should be punished in the same way blue pullers believe in "happily ever after" and the morally just believe "crime doesnt shouldn't pay". To steel-man the argument to stay…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/25 09:44 PM
1

This is an absolutely excellent question. And not because it proves a point either. But its excellent because it's searching for an answer in a way that illuminates the point. In my experience I have learned to watch for when my mind gets to a point like this, because that means I'm really close to a breakthrough. Hegel defined this moment as the ceasing of polarity (or duality) to be dual when one starts to see the opposite pole within the essence of the first. When one starts to question the e…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/24 03:38 AM
1

You're still framing it in her eyes.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/24 01:16 AM
1

Dunno wtf you're talking about. I dont play their games. They may think I'm playing them. In which case, I tell them to stop that.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/24 05:07 PM
3

i'm still of the opinion that doing something different is better than doing the same shit i used to I've told this to others. I think its something everyone who's finding their way needs to hear. For this, consider what I'm about to say as a message from all the ECs of this group: "I will always push you harder. When you've stepped up and met the challenge, my reaction will be to tell you whats next. My job is not to form a circle jerk and congratulate you. That reinforcement should come from y…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/24 02:33 PM
9

This isn't a shit test directly. But it is that kind of retarded crap women do to indirectly address an issue. She didn't mistakenly schedule something during your breakfast a second time. She did it on purpose to bring her thoughts about your indifference to a head. (If you addressed it, you care. If you dont, you dont). Thing is: She did it in a way to cause conflict. If you didn't address it, now she has ammo. You were able to diffuse her worries by bitching about her actions (OK ill give som…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/24 04:10 PM
1

Guy2 checking in. Same experience. The dating market was almost boring in how little challenge it was.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/24 01:42 PM
1

Agree that your answer is just as important. Giving just the insight (address her feels) has the pitfall of dancing monkey. Giving just the frame (IDGAF) has the pitfall of Rambo. Giving just the vibe (I manifest who I am) has the pitfall of egoic disconnect. I think they (newbs) need each of us.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/24 06:57 PM
2

Possibly different take than/u/FutileFighter While women do indeed like to communicate in emotion, that doesnt mean that the "right" or alpha thing to do is to acquiesce to that form. As a counterexample, my current recently came to me about an emotional reaction to a perceived flaw about herself. I directly addressed the validity of that flaw and in doing so weaved a narrative at a higher-level consciousness about why what I'm saying is true (not just logically, but ethereal-ly). She responded:…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/24 04:30 PM
1

First, my reply was not intended to coax you out of walking your own path. I wholeheartedly recommend it. I think I had an old post titled "Go out and see who you are." For my own enjoyment, I do like to see what you manifested in that journey. It is very rewarding to me. So thanks. The post also is not counterpoint to your experience. I feel like with your empathetic approach, you more closely mirror my outlook in life more than anyone else here. So I'm speaking to you from my POV as an equal a…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/24 04:05 PM
1

when I stepped back and looked at things as a neutral, compassionate observer. When you look at yourself looking to understand things that I realized...were counterproductive You'll see yourself seeing. This kind of work is the stuff most of these guys here will not accomplish. Mostly because we cannot make them see it. They have to look in the mirror and see it themselves. That doesnt mean we cannot speak "around" it. But when we speak, we speak from our center. When they hear, they hear from o…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/24 03:51 PM
1

“is it me or am I getting IOI’s everywhere?” Quick notes: This happens and I haven't figured it out either. I get baseline IOI's on a regular basis but once every month or two, they come like machine gun fire. People cat calling from cars, women extra giggly and flirty, people going out of their way to come up and talk to you. Right now I just note it as "One of those days."
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/24 01:55 PM
13

shit, maybe this can’t be saved This is the entire theme of your mindset and it comes through in your writing as well as when you say it blatantly. The anxiety that men feel in the midst of an RP journey centers on the ego's question of "Just how much of this is within my control?" And is a battle between figuring out what is within your control (and not failing to do things that are within your control) and what is not in your control (and allowing yourself to let those things go). These questi…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/24 03:29 PM
2

Great! We need more men like this who actually go out and try stuff. Now...this whole "I have a subconscious propensity to hold myself back"...where else in your life are you doing this? Ill leave you with that.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/24 12:14 PM
1

Stop bullshitting me and yourself and trying to hedge this into making you look better. I didn't complain about injury a single time at Oh so...nothing at all changed? continued to do most Most...so you did bitch out. Please tell me what you didn't do with the kids that a sprained ankle prevented (dont...thats rhetorical...barring running a 10k with them, there is nothing that you should not have been able to do). frustration that she has to do a little more than usual So...you bitched out enoug…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/24 07:55 PM
4

badly sprained my ankle until I got hurt Injury temporarily paused my progress on being “The Mayor” Obviously can’t lift until boot is off I was squatting 225 in a boot 3 weeks after rupturing my Achilles. Stop being such a giant whiney pussy about a sprained fucking ankle. it’s normal to receive shitty vibes when injured? No. But if you bitched and moaned around the house as much as you did in this post, I wouldn't be at all surprised that you did get that treatment. no desire between combo of …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/24 11:48 AM
5

giving her the gift of missing me This is cringe. Its a way to phrase it and technically true. But cringe. Do your own thing because your a man who prioritizes things that give him value. And you should be the number 1 thing that gives you value. The gift you give her is a space in your life to provide value...or not. This naturally resolves both issues of you giving her time from a covert contract and making sure you two are compatible (since if she didn't give you value and didn't care about y…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/24 06:43 PM
1

/u/Persimmon_Dazzling nailed it. The clue is within the way he's written: HavING fun with this yet? Look at your mission: To overcome...develop build needs met Your mission is explicitly written in the dopamine moderated, I-can-only-enjoy-myself-when-ive-succeeded, completionist frame of mind. How are you supposed to enjoy the ride if you can only feel success when its done? And tell me, how long did that short-term dopaminergic spike last last time you achieved a goal? Stop trying to be a man w…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/24 02:40 PM
15

Hate to go against the data but: My kids have not changed. There has been no weaponizing. Not even verbally (talking negatively against each other). And they are thriving better with an active, attentive woman by my side in their lives. Here's the asterisk on my data and my thoughts: My ex shot the puppy. And I think there's something serious to be said about the psychological effects of doing that. You're killing it in every way and shoot the puppy? Yeah that spawns feelings of revenge. But you…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/24 02:12 PM
6

Consider my attaboy as given. I'm not downplaying your realization. I'm simply the type to always offer the next step. How, then, can you turn yourself from someone who does into someone who is? If you STFU when your wife rants because it causes her to lean into you, you are REacting. How instead can you be the type of person who, by the construct of his own desires and personality, would simply happen to STFU to a woman ranting because thats who he is? How can you, instead of adding MRP as a ba…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/24 01:07 PM
1

Talking can also be a dancing monkey tool I agree. Talking, doing, these are just the ways of communicating. This sub already has it: Its the frame behind why you do them that counts. Its also the frame receiving them. I’d say play the numbers game I've always been a floater. Ill spend a few months close to one friend. A year close with another. I've known one since I was like 14...and whenever he starts being a bitch I just ignore until he comes back (sometimes years later). I fill my life with…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/24 02:36 PM
1

This is just an interesting area of discussion. You're right. It is. Also judge if you want. I'm not fragile. Was pulling your partner into this a necessary piece of your life or incidental? I'm gonna meet you in the middle with the opposite question, answer yours, and we can discuss: Is not including someone in a model a necessary piece of your life or incidental? I think both these questions feel loaded. "necessary" in your question feels like it's skewing a "yes" toward a dependence on approv…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/24 01:31 PM
1

u/Sepean Bout to reply to mrpftw but Tl;Dr i think the whole "dont talk about things to women because it repulsed them" is a dancing monkey strategy around their own insecurities (dont eat paint). If that reduces my odds, im fine with that. your own FR I've thought about it. But in the style of how I live my life today...my FR will be how the story naturally comes out of me from what I spontaneously decide to write here over time. wifed up I do not plan to wife up ever again. And I've told this …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/24 01:29 PM
3

Id have to go a little more into my own model I made of where I thought she was. So again, grain of salt. There were some instances where we broke that 4th wall. But I think it was held back because the ability to do so is going to be based on whether she feels safe stepping beyond her current model. Her anxiety prevented that. And as I continued growing and she didn't, the chasm got larger and harder to cross. did she ever want to see the matrix I think we all want to see the matrix. But our fe…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 12:23 PM
1

Theres so much in the world to do. And I just don't care about filling my life with more women. When I was online dating, I had multiple options at once. And for those that i screened as date-able that the first to ask for exclusivity got it. Yeah there was a slight ego-rush of knowing I was wanted on multiple fronts. But if 1 is providing what you need, why more?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 12:10 PM
3

To keep it a little shorter: I never believed men and women were equals. But I did and do believe they have the same capacity...even though social forces may provide different resistances to each sex to achieve that capacity. As for my mind, I have found the ultimate grounding rod from my philosophical and spiritual forays. And my mission is to manifest that into the world. In no way, shape, or form would I accept a woman where I had to shield her from my thoughts because of a negative reaction …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 12:02 PM
7

Understand first that this was a very sudden decline (from my perspective). From the point that I first knew something was going on to the point she left was 3-4 weeks. Until then, things were going pretty well (for me) for the most part and had signs of improving. So this wasn't a "we were falling apart for years" and you asking "well what made you stay?" This was "Things were adequate for me to stay and improving, and she left." Why did she leave? I have a myriad of reasons that I believe make…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/24 07:44 PM
13

From what I recall his wife decided to leave for a myriad of reasons, the top 2 being another woman who she became emotionally infatuated with, and because he was living a life she didn't want. He played his nice card and got a damn good deal: Got to keep the house at a price b4 the market shot up, kept his 401k, pension, and accounts in full. And 50/50 with his kids. She even paid him back the 20 grand she owed. All in all the divorce cost him like 22k (equity included). He doesn't like to brag…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/24 12:00 PM
4

I've since seen my choices to free myself are either by completely nuking my role to my family, or internally by becoming emotionally unaffected. This place used to love Matrix analogies. Imagine the Matrix was real. In it, you have a wife with a mood, a youngest with developmental delays, and an oldest with behavioral problems. They are a very real world that, when you choose to engage in, you take as reality because you've known it so long. But when you step out of it, they are simply your rea…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/24 01:41 PM
1

I'm not going to divorce and relieve the pressure on myself until I've learned these skills What are the things I need to make myself feel like a million bucks? What if instead of becoming a man who has, you become a man who is? If you didn't have the skills to do a thing but knew in your soul you were a man who would develop them given the time. And not even a man who definitely would, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. But if you became a man who by default, regardless of how much or little …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/24 02:25 PM
1

Lol this got upvotes. "Redd your words of success sound too generic as if all men have the same wiring and success isnt an orgasmic relief of my insecurity but merely a deep breath and expansive view at the top of a mountain! Your post doesn't make me feel things! I want to feel like you're unique and special so I can get on my knees and lick your asshole like I do Horns! I need mystique. I need a story arc! Please dance for me XOXO."
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/24 01:43 PM
6

Sadly puts dick back in pants
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/24 02:07 PM
3

Ill get to it dont rush me.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/24 11:07 AM
1

;) Take care Peed.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/23 09:20 PM
1

Hi, im the mod. I've typed up a few FRs on my situation but haven't submitted any yet because they all mostly devolve into the fact that MRP is just a lens through which, if one chooses to substitute for their own frame, they can try and decipher whats going on. You can see that process playing out here, where two guys are saying comfort is a beta trait, and another saying its an alpha trait. Then one is defining what alpha is, and another is defining what beta is. Redefine the words you use to …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/23 01:01 PM
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