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–

yeah possibly. in my social circle (higher educated, middle class and up), I don't know anyone who had kids outside of marriage, but also divorce is almost non-existent. Sure, I know a few couples that are not married and have been together for 10+ years (but they don't want kids), but they are a clear (and very small) minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:49 PM
–

yeah, culture is also important. I also think it's important if the woman wants kids. I have heard a female friend say that if men don't want to get married which is less of a commitment than having kids, how can she trust him he will be committed for raising said kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:31 PM
–

yes, but in my experience after a few years (especially if the partners are in their late 20s or older), if one partner does want marriage and the other doesn't the relationship will break down really fast. The most cases I know where this happened, it was the woman who was starting to push for marriage. The woman who is usually doing LTRs, but also doesn't want to get married is a very rare unicorn.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:21 PM
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sure, but there are downsides: if the truth ever comes out, it will not look good your partner must also be on board with thi if you want to keep the lie alive is social gatherings where you are both there the prestige is better for married couples, but so it the penalty for breakups; basically if you lie to get the prestige it will come back to bite you worse when a potential breakup happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:01 PM
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because, for better or worse, marriage still have a lot of prestige and saying someone is your wife/husband carries more authority/respect than just saying "he/she is my BF/GF" or "we are living together". basically people people who don't want to get married due to what they consider an unfair arrangement, still want the prestige of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:46 PM
–

the problem with any alternative is that it also needs buy-in from women. So this new framework doesn't just need to be attractive to men who currently avoid marriage, but to also women who would be willing to enter this new framework. So how would you see such a new framework that is fair in your eyes, but also attractive to both genders?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:36 PM
–

a lot of men ignore the fact that sperm quality also decreases over time. and they ignore this because fertility issues in women are much more obvious (no pregnancy happens), but for men the issues come in higher risk of health problems for the baby. Also anything related to age gap relationship that mentions an older rich guy should be automatically ignored because that scenario is mostly fantasy (as it rarely happens)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 11:56 AM
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what I meant was that from the perspective of the ones who keep others as backups it's not a good strategy as those backups may also be in relationship, so if you start with 2-3 backups, after 3 years none of them may actually be available.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 07:40 AM
1

I think the problem is that the longer the relationship, the less likely any past interest is to be single. Most people are not just waiting around just be called upon when a relationship fails
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:52 AM
2

i think initial attraction is built on stuff we have in common, but long term relationships are maintained more on complementarity. for ex
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 12:50 PM
6

most people could care less about what strangers do, but it's different for friends/family. Concern in that case is real and comes from a good place. I have said this multiple types here, but if my 20 yo daughter would come home with a 30yo guy, it would be an automatic yellow flag. it's not a red flag because they are both adults, but it certainly is a yellow one (that can later be turned green or red).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:30 AM
14

it's not concern trolling when it's actual people you know (family or friends) it's actual concern. Reasons are simple: we were all 20 once and meeting people who were 10 years older in casual contexts (AKA not forced/targeted/etc) was very, very rare. In my social circle, there is only 1 marriage where the guy is 8 years older and you know what happened when the relationship started to form? female friends of the woman pulled her to a 1-on-1 and made sure she is ok and thought this through. Nob…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:20 AM
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what is there to debate here? yes, if it's a disqualifying factor then it's a negative one FOR THEM, not the whole society itself and other people don't have to view said factors as disqualifying or negative. Look, when I had to buy a car, I didn't go for a toyota because I felt that for the money I was willing to go, the soundproofing of the engine was poor. Was it a disqualifying factor for me? yes. is everybody who buys and enjoys toyota cars an idiot? of course not.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:07 AM
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the problem is that women also need to build themselves up if they want relationships with certain type of men. the whole "women just have to be pretty and they can get all they want in life" is mostly a fairy tail. Sure, it happens from time to time, but on average most people will have relationships and marry within their own socio-economic class. so women cannot really ignore their education and careers and just hope they meet "the right guy".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 09:29 AM
1

while responding to another thread, a (crazy) thought came to my head. what if men have a lower in-group bias (compared to women) because a lot of law enforcement and politicians (and other positions of power) are filled by mostly men. men being a clear majority in these positions maybe gives women a better argument to develop a greater in-group bias as they see it as a women vs men issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:37 PM
3

coz they would be picked up by other men with guns i think this is a huge thing about why men don't have an in-group bias or tend to fight for social change as much as women. women see law enforcement and politicians being mostly men and see it as them (women) vs men. But men also see the same thing, but it's men vs men so maybe we don't get the same visceral reaction to this. not sure how much truth there is to this, it's just something that popped out in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:48 PM
1

i think it depends about both cooking and cleaning. if the women is more particular about both cooking and cleaning it can create the appearing of men doing less domestically. but since I am the main cook, there has never been any talk about me not pulling my weight around domestic chores.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:17 PM
1

i was particular about how the kitchen was organised because I was the main cook and wife didn't counter anything. everything else when we bought our house was about 50-50 (neither of us wanted anything extreme). so score is 3/10 my wife is responsible with cleaning and is much more particular about this. sometimes that looks clean to me doesn't always look clean to her. so about 7/10 my wife is kind of a minimalist so 2/10 based on the second question it's not that it doesn't matter, it's just …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:54 AM
0

I cannot speak for all men, but if I were to answer the question it would be that I think I can influence/solve the problems by myself without needing to put in the effort to change the whole society around me. Circumscision isn't a real problem in my country so I never really gave it much thought. Draft? well it's kind of a problem (I live in romania which borders ukraine), but the solution is to just flee if the possibility of war is very high (as a quite a few ukrainians did). Another poster …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 11:49 AM
1

a bit late to the party here, but I will also give our perspective as a family with two kids. taking care of babies is hard work, but also boring as hell. we could afford to live comfortably on one income, but it was clear that my wife wasn't suited to be a SAHM and didn't want to be one. That resulted in two options: family help and paid childcare. We took a combination of both and it worked for us for both kids. Another problem is that whatever plans you have before becoming parents may change…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:47 AM
44

I think women do want to help men, but do complain about stuff men don't do or don't want to do for no clear reason. A lot of complaining about household duties that I have seen from women in relation to "i am not your mother" is usually related to cleaning and cooking which a lot of adult men have no excuse for not doing their fair share. I am the main cook in the family and my wife is the main cleaner and she never complained about sometimes cooking when I am very busy or sick because she know…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:51 PM
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my example was about baselines, not comparing dating to job hunting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 11:54 AM
–

We make it a passfail test instead of just an enjoyable experience. the problem is that if you are rejected too much, it starts to become something to be anxious about. Not sure what the right success-to-fail ratio is to make dating an enjoyable activity, but it's clear that a lot of people are below this threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 10:10 AM
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But I have a lot of women friends I talk to about relationships and if a man simply tells them he's not romantically attracted to her, she's humiliated and doesn't forget it, while men hear that every other month of their lives. I think everybody has a form of baseline expectation about everything and when things change and things happen that are below the baseline, they feel a lot worse even if it's something normal for other people. I will give a non-romantic example. I have worked in IT for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:49 AM
8

i don't think it's instinct, it's mostly a logical conclusion. I don't think I've had to protect a woman I didn't know my whole life. I few instances I did "protect" a woman I did know: when I was in college and we were in a club, me and another male colleague had to tell another man we didn't know to stop bugging a female colleague. Basically we stood between him and the woman and told him to back off I stood between my wife (GF at the time) and two dogs who were barking and coming at us. We mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:43 AM
3

I've come to realise that the quality of early parenthood comes from the baby's sleep patterns. Yes, taking care of babies is tiring, but if you add some kind of long term sleep depravation to it, it becomes 10 times harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 10:44 AM
9

I think another kind of pressure to pair up is that as you grow older, the more your friends pair up, the less time they will have for the friendship. This puts some pressure on those that are single to find partners as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 10:01 AM
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from what I've seen in my social circle, women still want to marry and will leave the relationship if marriage is not a realistic (soon to be happening) possibility. Sure, I also know women who have been in LTRs with the same person for 10+ years and are still not married (some of them even have kids), but those are a clear minority. In short, if a man doesn't want to marry and the woman does it usually becomes a deal breaker at some point in the future and the relationship will end.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 11:53 AM
9

yes, being in a relationship with a woman or at the very least getting constant attention from women is valued a lot in men. But I think it may be also an aversion to failure. People don't like and don't really respect failure and even men see not getting attention from women as a personal failure. I also think it depends on the generation. In my age group (30-40) most of my social group is either married or in LTRs. A few men doing casual dating (on tinder) and nobody in my generation thinks th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 07:47 AM
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i tend to agree with this. a new born (especially if it's the firstborn) can put some strain on the relationship. an already bad relationship can easily break with the added pressure. My wife and I have a great relationship, but even for us the lack of sleep and always being tired when our first child was born put some strain on the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:49 PM
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fair enough. I think being a single dat is as big of an disatvantage as being a single mom, especially in their mid 20s. at that age, not a lot of childless people are willing to date a single father (or mother for that matter) for a serious relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:41 PM
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i am a man so I am asking here. "single father" means he is the sole/main caregiver to the children or is doing the standard 50-50 custody arangement?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:23 PM
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the problem with putting marriage off indefinitely is that at some point the relationship will break down. I have a few relationship break exactly for this reason. and guess what, the man is even older and the chances of finding someone to fit his standards for marrying (in this case the woman being a virgin) will be even lower. Sure, if he never wants to marry that's ok, but if marriage is something he wants good luck finding a partner that fits those standard when you are in your late 20s to e…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:56 AM
1

I think we have to accept that women are more neurotic than men about some things. I am the main cook of the family and after I am done cooking it's my responsability to clean up the kitchen. After I finish cleaning, what I consider "clean" is not the same as what my wife considers "clean" so she sometimes points out things I missed. It doesn't happen that often and I kinda learned to accept it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:50 AM
6

yeah I was agreeing with you, just providing more context. I think a lot of younger men or those who were left out of dating during those younger years, don't understand that doing endless casual relationships (if you are able to get them) might become tiresome as they grow older.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:39 AM
14

Yes we like variety, but mature men prefer stability over variety. as a mid 30s man, I would hate it to be back in the dating world. Continuous dating just for the sake of variety doesn't sound very appealing to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:25 AM
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your whole post is about marriage, not all relationships, so you should probably take statistics about married couples only. and from what I can find online "assortative mating" is still the standard for married couples
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:42 PM
–

given that fact that most couple are of similar education, income and values, the first two points + 4th point are thrown out the window. about upgradeability, it's not as simple once you marry. sure, divorce exists, but divorce too many times and it's going to be a huge red flag. and genetic benefits also relates somewhat to the first fact i mentioned. if you look at couples walking around, you will see a lot of them are of similar attractiveness. this whole idea of women only being in relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:26 PM
1

i am of the opinion that as you get older you cannot really change your personality that much. you can make adjustments to how you behave and your routine/habits, but big and natural personality changes are very rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:21 AM
1

i am not sure "intimidation" is the right word. relationships where the woman is the main/sole breadwinner are still a huge minority (16% in US from what I read) so maybe a lot of men are avoiding them not out of intimidation of the woman, but for fearing that they have no chance with such a woman anyway. But, in my experience said successful women don't have problems finding partners with similar earning potential as them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:50 AM
3

i think there would be enough degenerates who would choose the superpower mentioned by OP and not an actual superpower because they would also want to have sex with women who are already in relationships and would not cheat on their current partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:05 AM
3

we still make fun at work of the idiot who said that we were all stupid for taking the covid vaccine and that we would all be dead 2-3 years. a coworker from another team likes to "feed the troll"/"poke the bear" and he jokes that he must still be waiting for us to die so he can finally take over our positions and get a promotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 08:09 AM
13

both me and my wife work in the same field (IT) so we both saw our careers progress in the field from both side of the gender divide. Sure IT is still a male dominated field where I live (about 66% is male), but both my wife and I managed to earn about the same (I have better salary, but she has better bonuses) and we both got similar promotion opportunities. Again, the thread is about personal experiences and I showcased them as is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:08 AM
10

the original question was about disadvantages that I experienced and I answered that. As I said in another post, I am part of the category of people (college educated with good incomes) who statistically have the least chance of divorce in any developed nation so divorces and custody battles are not really something happening in my social circle all that often. Legally, shared custody is the default in my country, but as I said, I don't have enough experience in this are (due to lack of such thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:05 AM
15

yes, i meant that feminism hasn't impacted me negatively in any way that I noticed in the last 20 years or so. nobody said any hateful things to me because I was a man, I had both men and women as bosses to varying degrees of competence, I wasn't passed for promotions or raises because I was a man etc. I am not sure exactly what should I be looking at in my day-to-day life to see a negative impact on feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:48 AM
10

considering I have two kids (one boy and one girl), i also try to keep an ear to the ground regarding problems younger generations have. the problem is that it's somewhat separate my own experiences and environment from the world some statistics show. for example, i know a lot of marriages end in divorces, but my social circle si made out of people who are least likely to divorce in any (somewhat) developed country (AKA people who are college educated, have stable jobs and incomes etc) so divorc…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:13 AM
–

Honestly the way I see it when you decide on having kids everyone should be aware that children will cause stress and exhaustion. how others describe being tired from taking care of babies doesn't really prepare you for when it's actually your turn to be tired. it's like the saying "no plan survives contact with the enemy". you can have all the discussions you want, but when you are in the newborn trenches, everything goes out the window.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:38 AM
48

I think you will see a split in responses between men who are in relationships vs those who are not. as someone who has been in a a relationship with the same woman for almost 15 years (and married for about 8), I don't have any bad experiences in my day-to-day life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:42 AM
3

first
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 09:18 AM
4

does sharing these messages bring me any advantage in court? if my friends and family already know/believe me that she cheated and it would not bring me any advantage in court, i would probably not share them. but this is me speaking as a calm and neutral party. if that shit actually happened to me and my emotions ran high I am not sure what my decision would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 02:41 PM
2

I don't think we can really stop societal pressure and expectations that easily. But what we can do is try to somewhat ignore it. it in socially with the men who study and work in that field. as a man in IT which is a male dominated field, having women on your team changes the dynamic a lot. I was once on a team where we were 4 men and 2 women. and as luck would have it, both women went on maternity leave around the same time so for about 1 year we were just 4 men in the team. The changes in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 02:17 PM
10

I think enough men (and women for that matter) have a "one that got away". But for most of these cases, I don't think it's actually obsessing over said person, but more of a "what if" scenario combined with "the grass looks greener on the other side".
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:32 AM
1

if they think it and not say it, of course there is no problem. if they say it once, I will take it as a compliment. If they say it more than once (even over the course of a longer period of time) it will become weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 11:03 AM
3

i kinda agree with that. i liked ho my wife looked when she was pregnant, but if some man (even friends) told me he loved how pregnant women looked (as in random pregnant women) I would find that weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 08:55 AM
4

my personal theory is that us men confuse women being relaxed around us as attraction because usually women being attracted to us is the only time they are more relaxed.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:59 AM
2

in theory it sounds cool, but in practice women are still more guarded. once I got married and wore my wedding ring it was kinda obvious for me ho much less guarded women were around me. From my perspective nothing changes. by the time i got married, i had been with my then GF for 6 years and getting married didn't magically change the way I talked to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:40 AM
1

as a man, one of the more subtle advantages of being married is how much less guarded other women are around you. the fact that the chances of a married man hitting on other women is much lower (for obvious reasons it's not zero), it feels like women lower some of their shields around such men. and it's kinda nice to talk to women with less shields up.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:19 AM
3

the problem is some of us just don't know how good in bed they are. for example I am with my now wife for almost 15 years now. I know what she likes and she knows what I like, but neither have any idea how those "skills" translate to an open market.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:27 PM
–

i kinda agree with this. it's caring about starving people. on an individual level, most people consider it an issue, but don't care enough (AKA people have their own problems) to take proactive actions to fight it. basically we as a society outsource the solution to this problem to higher levels (community, city, country governments).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:44 AM
4

the secret is to take care of yourself and your responsibilities first and then play video games. I have 2 kids, but still play games, but priorities are always taking care of kids, wife and house chores.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:12 PM
3

sure you cannot control people, but there will be consequences for your actions. if you are not getting enough sex in your relationship and choose to cheat, that is your freedom/choice to do so, but your partner will also exercise that same freedom/choice to leave you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:08 PM
–

what does breast milk have to do with "cooking classes"? when the baby is small, breast milk is best, but once they grow and start eating solids and then normal meals, why would the woman still be primarily responsible for cooking normal food for the baby? both parents should be able to cook normal health food for todler. This is coming from a father with two kids where both of us work full time and we both know how to cook for our kids. Sometimes one of us is busy and the other must take on all…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:54 AM
–

why just for mothers? it's both parent responsibility to make sure the baby/child eats healthy meals.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:45 AM
–

i guess the answer to this question depends on each person and how they interpret "tell her whatever she wanted to hear"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:44 AM
–

honestly I take "Told her whatever she wanted to hear" to also include lying. is lying coercive?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:31 AM
–

i just read the types of "strategies" and you can clearly see than some are much worse than others. I will be honest, some of them are outright not actually bad or done with ill intentions: "Got her away from everyone to somewhere private and under your control". what makes this bad is the last part ("under your control") but in my college days if people wanted to make out (not guaranteed to lead to sex) they would go somewhere private. "Stopped her friends from getting in the way or interfering…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:23 AM
–

the problem with your arguement IMHO is that the attention that women get comes both with the good (they are approched for relationships/sex/etc) and the bad (ridicule/physical dangers/etc). these are the two sides of the same coin for women and you cannot really have one without the other. sure, as a society we try to minimise the negatives, but you can't really eliminate them. and with these aspects being the two sides of the same coin, "it's better to be ignored than to be ridiculed" is the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 08:42 AM
1

confidence in men is "attractive" to both men and women. why I used quotes for "attractive"? because men also fall for other confident men, but not in romantic sense, but in all sorts of scams (crypto, betting, courses that promise to make you rich etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 07:52 AM
–

but I assume you will buy such a robot (if not, who buys them????). who would pay money for a robot that could leave them? again, if one cannot have the option of leaving the relationship, then that relationship will have little value.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:44 AM
–

you will be disappointed really fast if you consider robots will "love" you. what gives love and relationships value is that they are freely given. and can end. if a robot is programmed to "love" you can cannot leave, then that "love" has little value.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:22 AM
1

kids were always part of my plan. how much it was personal desire VS social conditioning is really hard to tell. was it worth it? yes, but having children changes your life and relationship with you wife in really big ways and it takes some time to adjust to this new rythm. and about greater freedom, less responsibilities when not being in a relationship. while true, a good relationship will outweigh these "inconveniences". It has never crossed my mind to give up on my relationship with my wife …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 07:28 AM
24

i guess it depends on your own objective. if you want to be the guy that has sex with a different woman every week, sure, just relying on self improvement will probably hit a hard wall pretty fast for most men. if your objective is to just better yourself enough to find more potential partners, then self improvement will have a greater degree of success. but people must also realise that some people that are in such a deep hole, that it will be very, very hard to get out of no matter what they d…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:41 AM
6

what are you smoking? artificial wombs will not erase men's desire for female validation or the desire for sex. It's not like men today actually want the woman to get pregnant most of the times they have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:18 AM
–

why?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:45 PM
–

romania
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:52 PM
–

i always laugh at this "too focused on school/career to date" excuse. I know enough people in universities that required high effort to finish (medicine, law, engineering) who managed just fine to date and graduate. Nobody is saying you need to find your future spouse the first year in uni, but no dating your whole uni life seem extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:36 AM
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i am not saying it's a red flag, but it's a yellow one for sure. The obvious question is why weren't they in a relationship until now. Early 20s are a prime time to meet quality single people. Sure, some reasons may be valid, like being religious, but still, for me that would still be a yellow flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:20 AM
–

i find it fascinating that some people find a 24+yo female virgin a green flag (per the N-count megathread). i guess the argument for such men is that "I am willing to take the risk of her not having a lot of sex with me, but I know that I am never getting compared to another man".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:39 AM
–

yes we know we were lucky, but that doesn't mean it was not a somewhat big risk as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:55 AM
4

I read that divorced men who never remarry live less even if the divorce was fair. men are less likely to go to hospitals for problems, so in absence of a wife who would push said man to go see a doctor, such men die earlier (on average) due to ignored health problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:07 AM
–

one of the biggest risk I took that actually paid off was buying a house at the start of the pandemic. nobody knew how the job market was going to be, how long the pandemic would last etc. We (my wife and I) just said "fuck it", found a house, signed a mortgage and went about our day. IT jobs (and pay) exploded during the pandemic and now we have already paid the mortgage in full. house prices also exploded in our area in 2022, so if we had waited, we would have had to pay a lot more money.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:02 AM
7

and that is why I said I think it's a mix of both selection bias and marriage benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:40 AM
–

sure, but they used to hang out more than once a month, that's kinda the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:23 AM
19

i know about statistics about married men living the longest, divorced men (who never remarry) somewhere in between and never married men living the shortest lives. But it was never obvious is this is just selection bias (AKA men who end up getting married already had traits that would help in a longer life) VS marriage helps with longer lives. If I were to make a (non scientific, gut based) guess, I would say it's a mix of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:17 AM
–

my cousin who is mid 30s and still on the tinder train (he gets enough success there) is kinda bummed that most of his male friends don't have time to hang our anymore as they started having kids. my only reaction to this was "duh, what did you expect?"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 06:49 AM
50

if the arrangement is good for the man depends on two things: the meaning of the word "settling". There is a big difference between "settling for" and "settling with" if the attraction is still genuine and high enough to sustain the relationship long term without resentment
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 06:36 AM
1

no, but it's an automatic yellow in my book. why? because it's one of the following reasons: religious. nothing wrong with that, but not my cup of tea no relationship experience. your early 20s are the best time to find and be in a relationship (for both men and women), so what has she been doing. not religious, but "waiting until marriage" type of woman. again, nothing wrong, but again, not my cup of tea
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:01 PM
1

sure, but if if there was no overconsumption, my theory is still correct. once enough people will think (and act on) that two incomes will be better than one, the one income will quickly become not enough. it will be just simple supply and demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:56 AM
2

good question. a basic definition would be "equivalent to whatever defines middle class in your specific country".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:40 AM
5

I don't think there is any way to go back to a world where one (average) income will allow a family (with kids) to live a comfortable life. and the reason is simple. if one income is enough, then two incomes will always be better and couples will want to take advantage of this to get a better lifestyle and thus resulting in one income not being enough (as everything will be priced for two working adults).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:30 AM
–

if they need the work force fast, there is no other way. Even if peace is made tomorrow, nobody will trust that it's a long term peace until 10-20 years pass, so it will be very hard to attract people from neighbouring countries. Also they are not exactly a rich country so they cannot offer competitive salaries for people from europe.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 05:22 AM
–

as long as people don't impact people in their social circle, they can get away with a lot of stuff. I know of people (both men and women) who have cheated or been with multiple people at the same time, but they suffer no consequences in their social lives because they have not done anything to anyone in said social circle or their friends. are people in the social circle willing to set them up with any other friend? no, but they also will not exclude them from the group.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 01:01 PM
1

because I have a wife who I must occasionally pick up from metro stations with the car so she doesn't have to walk 15 minutes by herself alone when it gets dark. And I have no problem doing the same walk alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 09:50 AM
3

so there is no way to satisfy this need on a mass scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:26 PM
5

would you agree that having sex with someone you don't want to also damages your mental health?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:22 PM
3

of course nuance and balance is required, but the core of the issue stil remains. men and women handle certain emotions in different ways and a "one size fits all" (or even worse "be more like women" approach) will not work. from what I read, therapy for men seems to work better if him and therapist go for a walk when they talk because men are more comfortable to talk "shoulder to shoulder" vs "face to face" (as women like). is one approach better than the other? obviously not, but they do show …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:19 PM
1

I agree about putting effort into appearance and relationship, but it will be harder to convince men to be more emotionally vulnerable and agreeable. in order to convince men to change something about themselves, they must still recognise that "new version of themselves" as being a man and something they feel natural. The whole "you would be more like a woman" thing falls flat on so many men exactly because they don't recognise that as something they themselves feel like. for example, I will nev…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 01:48 PM
12

what is the difference between problematic and just having different values/priorities? if a woman wants to be a SAHM is that problematic or just incompatibility of values? Maybe I wouldn't want to marry someone like that, but I wouldn't exactly call it problematic. For me problematic would be gold diggers, who only care about what resources they can extract from men, but not someone who sincerely wants to be a SAHM because she thinks that would be better for the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:02 PM
17

you misinterpreted my point. I am encouraging men to have standards. If the relationship with someone doesn't provide you as a man with enough value (whatever that value is is subjective to the individual), it's better to just leave the relationship. Some are bad people or just incompatible with you. "I can fix him/her" is not always a good approach to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:54 PM
7

That's why I didn't mention the exact ways it should change, just example on how it changed mine. Having kids changes the dynamic of your relationship with your partner. Finding a new balance is needed and you both must make sure that new balance doesn't breed resentment over long periods of time. But what this new balance is very much subjective and is dependent on the couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:46 PM
11

care to be a little more explicit on what I am condoning?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:41 PM
16

i will ask the question honestly because I am really curious: in what world would having kids NOT change your life as a man? the obvious answer would be be deadbeats, but I think the topic focuses more on fathers who are in an actual relationship with the mother of their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:39 PM
20

That's exactly why I mentioned scaling back some of my hobbies. Sure a lot of it was to spend more time with the kids and help my wife with whatever was needed, but also to give her time to relax and take a change of scenary.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:35 AM
–

A lot of single men tend to avoid marriage for those reasons seeing it won't be a real benefit in the long run. Leading a lot of them choosing non comital relationships that doesn't benefit women. any statistics on this? i don't think men who avoid marriages for fear of divorce are that high of a percentage. also statistics about divorce vary greatly with education level; the more educated the partners are, the less chances of divorce. I will admit that the couples who are college+ educated have…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:13 AM
70

us men can also have standards in what we seek in a woman. you are not forced to marry the first woman you meet and can spend a few years together before getting married and having kids so you can see how that person is really like. why are you with a woman if she provides "no real value"? just for sex? I am in the demographic group with the least amount of divorces (college educated, middle class and up) and so is most of my social circle and in 90%+ of couples, both of them work. Sure the moth…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:06 AM
96

if your life as a man doesn't change after having kids, you are doing it wrong. i also had so scale down some hobbies after we had kids. I just thought it was disrespectful to just leave my wife with the kids at home while I was having fun elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:40 AM
3

i mentioned "mass appeal" for a certain reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:48 AM
6

why advice for men like "stop pursuing women" will never have mass appeal is that most men know that it will not help them or bring them any happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:39 AM
9

that will not work macro scale because men do get a lot of validation from having relationships and sex with (real and willing) women. there have been posters here from countries where prostitution is legal and said that relationship dynamics are still the same, proving that on a large scale just paying for sex (or in your example artificial GFs) will not scratch the itch for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:38 AM
9

I don't think you can make men NOT chase women (for sex or relationships) on a macro scale. Also your focus on "high performing men" ignores the obvious fact that most people (men and women) are average. no amount of discipline or focusing on themselves will turn them into "high performing" people. you know what will happen if men stop being main initiators in finding relationships and sex? most of those men will end up lonely. does this behavior give women extra leverage in relationships/sex? s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:24 AM
–

you mentioned the "attractive asshole" in your post so I assume we are talking about someone who is already successful with women. if he is successful while still being an asshole, while he is limiting his dating pool, big cities have too huge of a dating pool to matter for such attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 06:40 PM
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i agree, but anyone with some working neurons can easily hide their intent. or just reframe it: "I am still angry, so i'm not in the mood" vs "I am still angry so I am not having sex with you to teach you a lesson". in general social forms of abuse are much harder to prove vs physical ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:50 PM
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"limiting their own dating pool" isn't really a consequence for these men. in large cities the dating pool is large and disconnected enough that there will always be enough potential partners to meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:35 PM
–

how do you differentiate between "intentionally withholding" vs "not in the mood"?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:33 PM
–

in the spirit of debate, can you give examples of such consequences?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:30 PM
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oh sure she is gonna be hurt, but with my response she would at least realise it was not out of malice or forgetting. I as a man, never wished another man happy father's/men's day. I am pretty sure it's not something we actively celebrate here, but I also have no idea when it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 12:51 PM
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honestly, the response of "you're not my mother" is an idiotic one. If it was the first such holiday since the couple became parents, a much better response would have been "sorry, not used to this new holiday since we never celebrated it in the last X years since we were together and didn't realise it was important for you to celebrate it with me".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 12:32 PM
–

"a fair try" isn't doing a monkey dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:24 AM
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I will somewhat disagree. you should at least try to repair the relationship if you consider (or considered it in the past) a good relationship. why? because good relationships are hard to come by. notice I didn't say you must move mountains or become a doormat just to save the relationship, but you should at least give it a fair try.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 09:37 AM
21

my personal theory is that it's due to the lack of control. If a person (man or woman) is to be attacked on the street the overwhelming chance is that it will be done by a man. so why are men (a lot) less worried of walking down the street vs women? because we man think (rightly or wrongly is another discussion) that they at least have a chance to fend of such an attacker, while women know they have no chance of fighting a man. this lack of control (in the outcome of the encounter) makes women s…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:09 PM
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nope, but in the social circle of my kids I see kids being sick a lot more than my own. And from what my parent told me, I also got sick quite a lot when I was young.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:19 PM
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I am glad both my kids seem to have inherited my wife's immune system as she rarely gets sick and so do the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:38 AM
5

the problem is that we people cannot really differentiate between confidence coming from competence vs empty confidence. And the reason is simple, we cannot determine competence in fields in which we know nothing of. For example I am competent in my field and can smell BS easily, but if someone in finance or construction comes to talk to me, they can very easily look like they know what they are talking about but can just spew BS; i just know know enough in those fields to know the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:07 AM
7

i think breakups will naturally paint a distorted picture of the relationship and the ex partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:22 AM
6

i think the gendered part is where men and women fall victim to confidence traps. men are naturally more risk takes and fall for it in financial/gambling context while women fall for it on the romantic side.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:13 AM
53

counterpoint is easy as men have the same problem. if you are somewhat well put, speak in a certain tone and use the proper lingo, people will think you know what you are talking about. this applies everywhere. how do you think crypto bros managed to con so many people into putting their savings into "crypto (of the week) that will go to the moon".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:57 AM
5

not exactly "socially successfull man" myself, but as a father of two I think I have some idea how to respond here. People who do NOT have children have no idea what having said children is like. They think of only the "cool things" they see parents post online with their kids and don't realize the effort and (possible) sleepless nights. or even worse, they think "the mother will handle that". I will also admit that my image of being a father was very different than how it was especially when ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:11 AM
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you need to be more explicit about what being "against ai robot girlfriends" means. I am in the camp where I think it will solve none of the problems these men seem to want solved. the thing about validation and sex is that the validation comes from the fact that a the word NO (aka the woman doesn't want to have sex with you) is a real possibility. With sex workes, sure there is still the possibility of her saying no, but it's less likely and thus less validation. if an AI girlfriend can never s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 07:10 AM
5

Again If girls are allowed to define femininity however they want or reject it entirely, then boys deserve the exact same freedom without being guilted into becoming “good useful men.” I’m tired of people pretending this contradiction doesn’t exist. a few problems here. men are more inclined to do risky behavior. they are also stronger. even without social conditioning more men will naturally find themselves more in jobs that are risky and/or physically intensive both of which will impact their …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:05 PM
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the idea is that a lot of men don't feel the need to "master the game" once they find a good enough partner. Not saying you should marry the first woman you have a relationship with, but they shouldn't also throw away good relationships for the sake of "mastering the game". I also have no idea how my relationship skills translate in the dating world today. I have been with my wife for about 15 years now (married for about 8) and we each know what each-other likes, but we have no idea how that wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:01 AM
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as a man who has been married for some time now and has two kids, I know I have not mastered "the game", but I do consider that I have "won a game". I will use a gaming analogy. I may not be a pro CounterStrike (or some other shooter game) player, but I know the basics enough to play the game. Can I win consistent games against a pro player? of course not and may even get demoralised if I were to continuously lose, but I, by having enough skills and some luck, managed to win 1 round in the game …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:56 AM
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50/50 what? not sure i follow. the whole topic is about sexual/romantic desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:44 PM
–

so your point/theory is that most. "looksmatched" couples (which statistically are mostly average) don't desire eachother?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:42 PM
6

not sure what you mean by this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:38 PM
–

the problem is that "more attractive" can be very subjective. Sure, in some cases it's obvious who is more attractive, but in most cases (just look around you) couples are relatively close in attactiveness. If you say, "he's a 7 and she's a 6" on a random beauty scale, you wouldn't really be surprised if someone else says "he's a 6 and she's a 7".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:36 PM
0

i think this is a BS argument. most men understand that no way they will be attractive to 90% of women. going with the burger places analogy, most men would be happy to have somewhat constant stream of "customers" coming to order their burger. I don't think they would mind burger king to have 10x more customers, if they have enough customers to not be out of business.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:24 PM
25

even when both partners like each-other, a relationship requires effort (from both partners) to maintain and grow. I think your point of view (or how I understood it) is too strict and seems to indicate that all effort is bad. I think a more realistic approach is to still put in effort in the relationship, but to identify if those efforts are not given back and just walk away. For the most part, when a woman "plays hard to get" it means she is not interested and you should just walk away, but th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:57 PM
–

i am not saying physical attraction alone works on all women, just enough of them for such men to get consistent sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 09:39 AM
14

are "women should have same job opportunities as men" and "women should be paid the same for the same work" percentages falling some kind of blowback to affirmative action? or men just think that financial dependence of women on them is their best chance at a relationship? instinctively i would have guessed that men had grievances with feminism, but I would NOT have guesses that those points were on the list of grievances.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 08:28 AM
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But attraction alone doesn’t make a good dating candidate and more has to be there, compatibly of personalities and vibe and chemistry are just as important, especially if you want good sex. physical attraction alone will not be enough for a long term relationships, but if a man is physically attractive he will get enough short term flings to be "satisfied". There are enough women who will fall for the initial attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 08:18 AM
39

this post reads like "i have no idea how to solve all the problem of men without bringing women down". You know why a lot of men are not as radicalized as you want them to be? because a lot of men have girlfriends/wives and daughters. the "restricting birth control" stuff will not fly with such men. why would they risk having less sex with the risk of more children?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:26 PM
6

potential partners? probably not because at that stage people are usually "on their best behavior" for obvious reasons. but if a relationship does form, past relationships will be an obvious subject that will come up. I know about my wife's past relationships and she knows about mine. Can I be 100% sure that she told the truth? no, but she also hasn't given me a reason to doubt the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:44 AM
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when I hear "building a relationship" I don't think of initial attraction but building (and maintaining) the relationship over longer periods of time. And that part does require investment and effort from both partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:32 AM
2

i guess it depends, but playing the field for too long has a very big downside for both men and women: at the end of the road the quality of single people will be much lower. And the reason is simple. relationship oriented people will pair off and be in (stable) relationships and as more time passes more of such people will be off-the-market. I am not saying you should marry the first person you are in a relationship with, but having "playing the field" as a primary objection if your long term g…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:51 AM
10

from what i read/heard amount of sexual act done in lesbian couples is less than in straight couples and gay men. my counterpoint is that lesbians don't have male-like sexuality because they have less sex than couples where at least one man is involved. Not saying it's good or bad, it's just not what your title seems to imply.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 08:24 AM
1

I think the statistics about 10-20% of men having cheated in their lives is probably correct. But speaking from experience with my social circle, this statistic probably follows all-time behavior, not recent one. I know a couple of people (both men and women) who cheated once while in college, but if you look at their history in the past 10 years, they didn't do it with their current partners. Do the current partners know of their past? no idea and it's not my place to ask. So, yes the statistic…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:47 AM
4

i think it also depends how long those relationships last. the problem about money (or lack of it to be more exact) is that it puts constant pressure on the relationship. So its effect may not be obvious in the early stages of a relationship, but the pressure may just keep pilling on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:26 AM
0

just curious what you mean by "frustrations". you mean frustrations from other relationships or in general (from day to day life, job etc)?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 12:27 PM
–

This may be a case of women having more of in-group bias as compared to men. What this means is that women tend to be more supportive with eachother even when they have more "outrageous" views, while men don't do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:46 AM
6

you misunderstood my point. When I said "she was not the one" I meant that if you asked me in the first 3 months of the relationships "do you want to spend the rest of your life with her" my honest answer would have been "I don't know, we'll see how it goes in the future". If you ask me, to see if a relationship works out long term, you must be living with said person in the same house for at least 1-2 years. When we met we were both in college, living in separate dorms. Being "the one" isn't ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:28 AM
1

counter point is that a lot of men who search for advice, do so with a clear objective in mind and often times that objective is to be more successful with women. Also relationships (and sex) is like money: it's not the most important thing when you have it, but when you don't have it it suddenly becomes the most important thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:41 AM
8

so, I may be an outlier here, having been with the same person for about 15 years now, married for about 8 and with 2 kids. I will be honest, when we started the relationship, I didn't consider that "she was the one" at first. Yes, the relationship was great, but it was time and us growing together that solidified the relationship and made it work. What I consider the most important in a long term relationship? being willing to move in the same direction as a unit and being able to make compromi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:31 AM
–

that's why I said they could see/hear about shitty women from just living in a society and hearing about it from other male friends. these man only learn that there are shitty women after being with such women? I haven't been with a lot of women (the nice part of being with the same woman for 15 years), and the relationships that I had have ended somewhat well, but even I know and heard about shitty things men and women have done in relationships. From what I feel, your argument is that "these m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 01:15 PM
–

but we live in a society where the 2 sexes live together. We can see how people around us behave, we hear stories from friends etc. We see and hear about shitty people that are both men and women. No way us men are so blind to this. That's why I said my two theories.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 01:03 PM
–

i never understood this "all women are pure" BS. Who lives in the real world and still believes that? it is just men being too horny to see how people behave in front of them? or is it that "bad men" are much more obvious because their actions are more visible (AKA violence) than "bad women"?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:52 PM
0

ok, maybe "it's women's fault" is too strong. what i wanted to say is that the blame deflections "it's not my fault I was NOT born as a handsome guy and average women are clearly delusional for not going for average guys like me and it's their fault for being delusional" again, take it with a grain of salt. i don't agree with this argument, but I can see its appeal to someone who is constantly strugling.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:45 PM
0

it could also be selection bias. most people have at least some kind of success with women and don't see the need to go down the RP rabbit whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:24 PM
3

doesn't matter. they get what they perceive as "real" advice and reasons why they are not successful. A lot of men need concrete reasons why they fail at something. "She was just not into you" is great advice if you get at least some success, but if all you get are rejections, then advice like "women only go for the top 20% of men" will resonate a lot better. Sure, it may not bring them success, but it will divert blame: "it's not my fault I am not successful, it's the women's fault". I am not s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:03 PM
3

sure, but why would someone who is in their early 20s and struggling with finding relationships or sex follow them? because that's how most people find TRP. they struggle, they search online for reasons and solutions and they reach a RP rabbit hole. Again, I am not saying those are bad examples, but they are not exactly providing solutions (even if they are snake oil) to struggling men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:55 PM
2

fair, but the men in your original post attract the kind of men who are already struggling with certain aspects of their lives. and they want solutions and they want them now. of course, these guys online sell them snake oil, but it sounds good on paper and it's better in their mind than the standard advice ("it will happen to you eventually") they get.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:51 PM
2

but you see, those are people who live normal and boring lives. it's not something that will attract a following on social media. That's the core issue. to have a large following on social media you must have interesting content and most people who have normal jobs don't have much interesting stuff to post or brag about.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:44 PM
7

I am not saying you are wrong in any of this, but then there is the obvious question: who and where are the men that men should idolize? if you ask me, the men that should be given as example are not really marketable because outrage content and glamorous lifestyle sells much better on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:39 PM
15

the problem with any such movements is that they attract a lot of "toxic" people, those who had either really bad experiences with the other sex or those struggling to find partners. Everybody else calls this "decentring" by a different name: having boundaries. Look, I love my wife and would do a lot of things for her, but if she ever gets a crazy idea to move in the middle of the forest and try to live an "organic raw vegan" lifestyle I would NOT do it. Not because she is not the most important…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:28 PM
32

you underestimate how lazy people are. Most will fall back on the easiest solutions: porn and gaming. Evidence to support this: going to the gym was always a solution to increase a man's attractiveness to women, but the rate of overweight people is still very high.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 12:45 PM
–

For now it's possible to plug the holes with migrants, but for how long? If I were to guess, it will work for at least another 40-50 years. governments know the alternatives (delayed retirements or other changes to existing laws) will be even more unpopular.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 12:02 PM
–

you are free from sharing your opinion, but people are also free to judge you based on those opinions and you may face consequences of said judgements.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 10:02 AM
7

i think it's because of two factors: "high n" means different things to different people. I've seen (a small minority of) guys here say that 3 is high. So depending on what "high" means to you, the stats may differ on your end we all know people on both end of the spectrum. "high n" women who are in good marriages and "low n" women who struggle to find good relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:36 AM
5

my answer is yes, based on interactions with my wife. I still initiate like 80% of the sex we have, but I don't get many rejections. And also, it's not something I mind doing it and it's not a goal to have a 50-50 split here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:55 PM
2

craving for traditional gender roles in relationships that's cope for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:49 PM
13

I will say this and continue saying it. if marriage changes your relationship in major ways, you are doing marriage wrong. Unless you are a religious person, you are most likely already living together for some time before marriage and should be familiar with how each other is with money, cleanliness, sexual desire etc. If you ask me, people say that marriage changes the relationship, because a lot of people have children after getting married and within a couple of years have children. And it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:25 PM
6

while true, it doesn't really help those who are struggling to get into relationships. saying "just look at how green the grass is on the other side and it's become greener in the last X years" isn't going to make them feel good. While it's not a perfect analogy, it's the same as saying "well, the average wage has gone up", but the distribution of said growth is not equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:18 PM
2

protecting from bad marriage is much, much easier than protecting from bad sexual decisions. Marriage decision is one (hopefully) big decision, while bad sexual decision (whatever that means is up to the reader) will be many decisions throughout one's life. When I went off to college in another city than i was raised in, my parent kinda lost all direct control over what I did day-to-day. They had to trust that they raised me right and I would make (somewhat) good decisions. Same thing here, when…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 08:25 AM
2

My intuition says an older man will be more likely to consider himself lucky to be with a younger woman and therefore treat her more seriously. Whereas a younger guy is less likely to even get to meeting the parents because he's more likely to not have very serious intentions in the first place. and that is exactly why her bringing someone who is close to her own age is an automatic green flag. it means the guy passed some basic filters and is considered serious enough to be worth meeting us. Al…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:38 AM
1

if my daughter is bringing a boyfriend to meet us, it's 99% sure they had sex already and there is nothing wrong with that. But you missed something else. if it got to the point where she wants to introduce him to us, the relationship already passed some milestones and filters and she thinks it could be a LTR. Most reasonable people don't bring someone they just met to meet the parents. Also, as a man, I know how much importance men put on sex and getting it. But I also didn't meet the girl's pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 06:57 AM
1

exactly. a 30 yo man (or woman for that manner) naturally being part of our social circles in college was not something that happened. Also when I was 30, in order to actually meet women who were 20 in a social environment on a consistent basis I would have had to go way out of my normal routine.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 10:39 AM
4

never said it couldn't happen just that the starting points (green vs yellow) are different by default.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 10:32 AM
–

it's funny for me because as someone who has been in the same relationship for almost 15 years now, I have no idea how good I am at sex with the average woman. I know what my wife likes and she knows what I like, but have not idea how good I am "on the open market"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:37 PM
33

as a father of a (very small) daughter, if she brings in a 30yo man to dinner when she is 20, it will be an automatic yellow flag (notice I didn't say red flag). Of course I am not going to stop her from dating whoever she wants, but i will 100% take her to a 1-on-1 talk after the dinner. I would do a similar thing if my son brought a 10 years older women. The reason? because I was also once 20, and then the groups/places where we hung out, meeting much older people was not exactly common place …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:34 PM
1

this sound miserable. Also these rules will break down really fast when kids are involved. Also, your scenario is very easy to abuse by both parties. One partner can refuse to cook for the other unless they get "payed". Same with other domestic tasks. You can turn everything each does around the house into"games" to earn more of this relationship currency.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 09:43 AM
–

if people want a long lasting marriage, it's a bad deal for both partners. people here complain about the high divorce rate, but for a 10 year gap, the chance of divorce is is 40% higher than when couples are of the same age.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:32 PM
2

that's my theory as well about why most people focus on men that do bad things vs women who do bad things. When men do "bad things" it tends to be more visible and obvious as is involved violence/aggression and everybody can see that it's bad. Women are less violent and the do "bad things" in a more social way (shaming, gossiping etc) and it's not as visible and also has a much higher degree to plausible deniability.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:36 AM
7

I will ask the obvious question. in what category are the the men that are in serios long term relationships, or married (maybe with kids)? you think those guys can really ask for sex any day of the week and get it?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 09:59 AM
13

egalitarian doesn't mean they are exactly the same, but "about the same". a 6 dating a 7 (whatever those number measure is up to you) is "about the same".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 11:20 AM
17

so, if I describe my happy egalitarian relationship with my wife, it will have just as much power as you singular example you gave, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 07:34 AM
–

depends on the country. Here (in Romania) you can also be forced to stay for the whole notice period, but on the other side of the coin, the employer also cannot fire you on a whim. each employment law system has advantages and disadvantages
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 11:04 AM
1

again, this is a case of "use common sense". If my wife said no to anal sex, i would not push as it's a valid boundary in my eyes. But my wife also said no to going to a water park and try some attractions there. It took a little bit of convincing and in the end she enjoyed it. So she said "no" to both initially, but I used my common sense and knew when to push and when not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:51 PM
1

I think a lot of men complain because of too many first dates that go nowhere so they just spend a lot of money for nothing. Nobody expects every date to go well, but if too many go bad, it starts to feel frustrating This comes down to our inherent natures. Men want beauty, so women spend hours getting ready. Men want to show they can provide, so they pay for the meal. you missed something important here. sure, we men want beauty, but just looking at beauty across the table does nothing for a lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:46 PM
1

as with everything "it depends". for me, there isn't always a clear distinction between "testing the waters" and "pushing boundries". For example, when a date went well, I may have tried to go for a kiss at the end. If it went well, nice, if not, maybe next date; this assumes that a discussion about "no kissing" DID NOT happen. For me, such a scenario is part of "testing the waters" I am of the opinion that there are a lot common sense boundaries, but I think that if not communicated, you can at…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:35 PM
14

i think the fear comes from the fact that they know they can be easily overpowered by 90% of men. We, as men think (wrongly or not is another discussion) that we can at least fight a thief/attacker. this of course leads to men being careful in general, but also men are more risk takers by default. Also about life expectancy is mostly genetic/biology. estrogen has a protective effect for the hearth, while testosterone has the opposite effect long term. also women have a stronger immune system. ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 09:11 PM
–

I am in my mid 30s now, married and with kids. I have grown older I have come to appreciate more and more the social aspect of having a long time partner. Of course there is a lot to appreciate about my relationship with my wife, but the social aspect is something a lot of men underestimate. As me and my friends grew older and each of us paired off, got married and had kids, spontaneous social gatherings became more and more rare. For me there is no more calling someone at 6PM to go out for a be…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 02:41 PM
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i will comment on this about marriage being "chained to an iron ball". if you intend to ever have kids, then those kids are the real "iron ball" if you want to be a responsible parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 02:29 PM
8

all I can say is that there are two sides of the "stop simping" arguement. you assume that if they stop simping they will develop those positive traits, but the other side is that they become angry and bitter and rant on the internet about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:27 AM
8

the problem with this is that a lot of men (me included) are fathers of girls. I cannot in good conscious only support measures that benefit my son while voting against things that will benefit my daughter. I want both of them to succeed. So what is your advice for me?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:51 PM
1

i will stay this from the perspective of someone who is actually married. We always had a good relationship, we both earn good money etc, and for us marriage didn't change anything, we just combined our finances. We were already living together, we were already shared expenses etc. The honeymoon was nice, but the "honeymoon phase" of our relationship was 6 years before we got married. So why marry? well there are a couple of reasons: we viewed it as a higher level of commitment (even though noth…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:47 PM
–

sure, I wouldn't want to be in a sexless marriage also, but the correct approach would be divorce then have sex with whoever they want. Also what he considers cheating is different that what his social circle considers cheating. If someone came to me and said "I started sleeping with other women. But it's not cheating cause I told her, even though she didn't agree to it" I would ask him if he was high or hit his head.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 06:26 AM
–

if you play a game of monopoly and you start taking money from the bank, even if you tell all other players you are doing it, the game will end because they they will not like it. And if a 3rd party will ask why the game ended, they will say: "well, dbmsmanagear started cheating at the game, of course we stopped playing" and 99% of people would agree with that statement Same logic applies here. Words have meanings outside the textbook definition and 99% of people will consider it cheating if you…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 11:25 AM
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WTF did I just read? following your logic, the divorce that will follow in 99% of cases will also be justified and you have no right to complain. If your objective is to keep your marriage, this is a very, very bad strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 11:08 AM
5

if we consider that people are attracted to what they are attracted (AKA you cannot "cure the gay away"), i would guess that a lot of straight men would like for more other men to be gay. It would mean less competition for them in the dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:25 PM
10

End game is fairness. Notice I didn't say 50-50, but "fairness" and what is considered fair depends on the couple. For example, my wife does most of the cleaning and I do most of the cooking. if we tally all the hours spent per month doing our share of the chores, do we end up with a 50-50 split? nope, but none of us feels they were taken advantage of. My wife is more neurotic than me about cleaning and does it better and I make better (and more varied) food than her? could we switch chores? sur…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 12:49 PM
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I think because men's interaction with other men is different than men with women. As a straight man, I have never been hit on, harassed or any of that sort of behavior by another man. I also don't have much anxiety (compared to my wife) of walking alone at night. So, for most of my life, men just kinda exist, don't bother me etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:54 AM
6

exactly this. me and my wife were already in a relationship for 6 years and living together for 4 years when we got married. The only thing marriage changed was we combined our finances/bank accounts, but considering we make good money, that was not really an issue. "ike a capstone to your relationship" is exactly how i feel about marriage. I never knew the exact words to describe the feeling, so thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:30 AM
5

let's assume that you, as a man, usually make good decisions and you have final say. But taking too many decisions (even if most are good) but your wife/GF is against a lot of them can breed resentment over large periods of time. relationships are about compromises and each partner should make compromises they can live with for the health of the relationship. We just bought a car for the family. If I would have just pulled out the money for the car and bought it myself without consulting her, it…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 09:18 AM
5

it's vague because general advice will always be kinda vague. You need some self-awareness to realize what you lack and what you can realistically obtain to become "the best version of yourself". Sure, now I am married, but in my younger days i was not really that successful with women. I don't even think I had heard about RP 10+ years ago when I was in college. But I had enough self awareness to see the problems and try to solve them myself. Did I become some Chad doing so? hell no, but I did f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:29 PM
4

I think the problem is how much are you willing to "fake it till you make it" and still find someone you are compatible with long term. For example, I would not want to look for relationships in churches or other religious establishments because I am not that religious and would not be compatible with someone like that. Similar to finding relationships in clubs, I am not really someone who want to go out and party every week. If you ask me, "just be yourself" should be taken as "be the best vers…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:06 PM
3

nope. considering a 50-50 gender split, there should be a roughly equal number of men and women who will not end up married or in LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 11:53 AM
11

I think we must accept two facts: there is no such thing as advice that will work for everybody there will be people that unfortunately will not find long term romantic love. the obvious next question is: what happens if/when RP "actionable advice" doesn't work (i am sure it doesn't work for all people, as with any advice)?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:02 AM
1

we met in college, we were both relationship oriented, we were compatible in our objectives and compromises we were willing to make. I will also add that we both make good money, so money problems never put any stress on our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 09:46 AM
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we as adults also wake up during the night but we are aware of the fact that night is the time to sleep so we just try to get back to sleep. babies don't have this awareness, so if they wake up, they just go into "it time to ask for mama/papa to hold me" mood. as someone who has kids, we are lucky that they were both good sleepers, but even then there were periods of time where one of us (or both) got only 3 hours of continuous sleep per night.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:25 PM
14

the prospect of divorce corrupts them. you could also say the same thing but in reverse. without the posibility of women leaving them, more men would give in to some darker impulses that are harder to prove in court (to give cause for an at fault divorce)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:39 AM
32

it's a bad deal for both partners if they are considering marriage. People here like to complain about hight divorce rates, but for married people where the age gap is 10 years, the chance of divorce is 40% higher than married people who under two years apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:00 AM
3

i remember a conversation in college where one girl was shocked that most of us don't admire our parents. Most of us were in the camp of "out parents are ok, we respect them, but we don't admire them" and her reaction was "what do you mean you don't admire them, they are your parents, they raised you etc". In the end she kinda understood our point of view, but it was still shocking to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 09:37 AM
30

you know what makes me feel desirable? my wife accepting my sexual advances and herself initiating sex even after 15 years of relationship and 2 kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:18 PM
1

for me it's a couple that met in highschool, went to med school together got engaged during said med school and then got married a few years after starting their medical careers. probably like 6 years of engagement. Still together now and they have 2 kids. On a side note, this couple is the only one i know where the relationship started in high school and they are still together 10+ years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:54 PM
–

I don't remember exact details as it's been over 10 years since then. But it was part of the "read the room" skills. Also first time meeting was not a classic 1-on-1 date, it was a meeting between two friend groups, so it was mostly talking (+ flirting) and sitting close to eachother. Another important stuff is that we both lived in dorms at the time, so it was not a given that we always had the room for ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:55 AM
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yes, it's important to have a gameplan in mind, but that plan must also be flexible enough to acomodate the kind of person that the potential partner is. When I first met my wife when we were both in college, it was kinda obvious that sex wasn't gonna happen that first night. Did I wish it would happen? sure, but I "read the room" and didn't push for it. On a side note, I have seen a lot of men wanting a recipe (or step-by-step guide) on how to approach and be successful with women. But there is…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:05 AM
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i mainly share day-to-day frustrations with my wife, stuff like "what a shitty day at the job" I think my lowest point in terms of emotional stability is when I was diagnosed with something that could have heavily impacted my like (thankfully that has been resolved for some time now). the fear and anxiety kinda wore me out at the time and one evening I just cracked. Considering we are still together and have had 2 kids since then I don't think she minded that much. But again, I have been a prett…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:10 PM
1

i think the problem here is that such men are snatched off the market really early on and if both him and his partner are relationship/family oriented and mature about their lives, they will be together for very long periods of time. And if they do break up for whatever reason, they will be snatched again very fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 12:08 PM
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That's why YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND READ THEIR PROFILE. You do realize people talk on dating apps, right? in an ideal world yes. but if most men get zero or very few matches, the obvious conclusion they will reach is that their looks are lacking.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 12:02 PM
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i guess it depends on what your dating strategy is. that's why dating apps are very bad at actual finding long term partners. On an app you can't really show your personality, so people just go off on what they actually see (AKA looks). in warm approach scenarios (going out with friends who may bring other friends etc) you can actually let your personality do more of the talking. Most people aren't going to have another date with a person with massive red flags I don't think most people are walk…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 11:48 AM
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yes both looks and personality matter. what you didn't mention about "looks get you through the door" is that it's really important how many doors it opens. sure, your personality will make you keep/maintain your relationship, but the less doors are opened the less chances you have to find someone compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 11:35 AM
12

i'm sure people being tired and sleep deprived will bring the best out of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 10:43 AM
17

true to the hand grenade analogy. I said this before "marriage doesn't change a relationship if you are doing it right, but children will invariably change it".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 10:31 AM
49

i am going to ask the obvious question here. Why are women having children with men who are not pulling their weight before marriage? As a married man with two children, if having children doesn't also change your life as a man in significant ways, you are doing it wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 09:46 AM
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As you can see in my flair, I am married (and with kids) so I have little stake in this, but I do like browsing here from time to time and give my take when I feel that I can be helpful. I also try to provide counterpoints to some of the more unhinged takes around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 08:12 PM
2

probably, it's been some time since then. but, as I said, when the woman is into you, I didn't perceive it as a chore.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:13 PM
6

I think the main hoops I had to jump through when I was dating was being the one to initiate and organise stuff during the initial phases of the relationship. but it's kinda obvious when a women likes you as she will not complain or discourage you from your plains (of course, within reason). of course it helped that last time i was single was in college, so expectations on a what a date was considering we were all broke students were not that high.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:34 PM
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I think us men act as a deterrent factor for any potential confrontation. In 99% of cases it's not active protection, but a passive one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 10:17 AM
1

as a married man, if marriage changes your relationship in any fundamental way, you are doing it wrong. If a relationship is good marriage shouldn't change much. What does change the relationship a lot is having kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 08:44 PM
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from my experience with women, when they complain about something they just want to vent and be listened to/ someone to be empathetic to them, not necessarily looking for a solution. We as men, when somebody comes with a problem to us, we naturally try to fix it or offer solutions. It took me quite a bit of time with my wife to turn off my instinct of offering fixes/solutions to her to just start listening to her and letting her vent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:39 PM
2

yes, mental work makes a difference, but distance is also important. I don't know about others but, for me distance was essential for to process my feelings because proximity fed the hope in my head and that kinda undid all mental work/progress i was doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 08:48 PM
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it's not cheating but it's a massive breach of trust. Not sure it's something the relationship can survive. I think it's something similar to my wife just pulling out all the money we have an deciding to spend it on useless stuff or gamble it at a casino.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 03:34 PM
7

never said I wished I was a woman. It's just that men and women are treated different by society and that has an impact on how we each behaves in said society. men being thought (or having learned) to be more stoic and not express our emotions in an open manner is just something society wants/expects from us.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 03:23 PM
47

honestly, i think you are confusing things. Men learn pretty fast that complaining gets you nowhere (or that most people don't care about those feelings) so we kinda accept that we either accept reality or take it into our own hands to change things. Not expressing our feelings as openly as women do doesn't mean we don't have those feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 11:14 AM
2

yeah, I have also seen some of my friends families, but most people see their romantic partners families an order of magnitude more than their other friends families. If I don't like a friends family, it's much easier to just skip some meetings or just suck it up on those rare occasions. If you don't like your partner's parents (especially if they are close with their family), that can put some serious strain on the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 11:07 AM
5

I think one thing you are missing between how someone is as a friend vs as a partner is their relationship with their family. My friend have never met/talked to my parents/other family outside of very special occasions (when i got married, when we celebrated birth of our children etc). On the other side, my wife has been in much more close and frequent contact with my family. And someones relationship with their family can have a huge impact on your romantic relationship (for better or for worse…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 10:54 AM
2

the problem with the friendzone is the hope that things might still happen and that slowly eats at you. when a woman says she is not interested in you, the feelings you have don't magically disappear. Humans are not purely logical beings and we cannot just magically push those feelings away. And because of those two factors, the most realistic solution in most cases is to just distance yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 10:42 AM
8

there are studies that show that men and women have same career and financial opportunities until late 20s to early 30s. I thing anyone can guess what happens during that time: babies. And then women tend to take a more involved role in raising said children and that impacts long term career (both in term of leadership positions and financial aspects) prospects. And this is mainly a "main child carer" penalty, not a woman penalty as the same thing was observed in homosexual couples where the mai…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 11:02 AM
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while technically true, most people are socially savvy enough to not be assholes directly. If someone if not into people of a certain race they will just say "sorry, i am not interested" or some other generic stuff, not say anything about their race.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:40 PM
2

why do you make it gendered? the same standards applied to both men and women. men were also considered assholes if they were having sex with a woman on a regular basis and started hitting on other women or started having sex with someone else. yes, fucking is just fucking, but repeated fucking someone in a certain short time-frame came with the expectation of exclusivity. Maybe the expectation came after having sex 2-3 times, but it did come. there was no "we have been seeing each other regular…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:39 PM
1

There is no but. If you give a fuck, you declare it. but there was no need to declare you being exclusive with someone if you were seeing eachother for some time and had sex a couple of times; it was just assumed and doing otherwise was considered cheating or the partner who stepped out was considered an asshole Then clearly situationships weren't around when you were in college. Also, you're purple pilled, so there's no way you didn't hear about pump and dumps. yes situationships didn't happen …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 02:09 PM
1

Then it shouldnt be hard to announce it. but still, why shouldn't exclusivity be the default and people having to explicitly state otherwise? as I said, that was the default when I was in college and I want to understand who was hurt by the old norm (or why it didn't work). I am not in the dating game anymore and don't plan to be, so this change doesn't impact me, but want to understand to better help my children for the dating world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 01:46 PM
3

Sure the initial phase of dating is easier and both are usually on their best behaviour (it's called the honeymoon phase) for a reason, but it's still dating. I am not saying you must marry eachother or being willing to donate a kidney after 2 dates, but being exclusive seems like a simple thing and a bare minimum. Nobody will blame you if the relationship ends fast, but for me "we didn't discuss being exclusive" sounds like making up excuses for cheating. When me and my wife met in college 10+ …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 01:31 PM
14

I said in another topic, but I think it's crazy that the default after seeing and having sex multiple times with someone over multiple months is not an exclusive relationship. I really want to understand why would the default be anything else?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 12:57 PM
1

in the past there were also hookups, one night stands, FWB etc, but going on second dates and having sex multiple times with some was considered exclusive unless stated otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:27 AM
1

or maybe it's a europe vs USA thing. we need someone who is younger and actively dating to tell us.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 02:19 PM
2

oh I agree situationships are stupid. in the past the label was put in by default as "exclusive" and you dating/having sex with someone else was considered cheating. Of course people (both men and women) still did it, but it was cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 02:15 PM
4

maybe things changed, but around 10 years ago, if you had sex and then met again after that for other dates, the default was that you were exclusive, especially is sex happened a second time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:47 PM
–

i totally agree. but that's how it always worked. friends/parents of the (much) younger partner asking them if they are ok/safe in the relationship. And that is exactly how social pressure works: if your parents and 2-3 friends show concern/advice (or share bad experiences) it's good enough. IRL I haven't seen people giving unsolicited advice to people they don't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 02:35 PM
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i think the problem with young adults is exactly that they have agency, but not the experience to fully understand the ramifications of their decisions. I don't think anyone reasonable wants to ban age-gap relationships, but I think it's fair game to give younger people advice; the same young people are in their right to ignore said advice. It's similar to investing in crypto. I can tell an 18yo that it's a bad idea to invest in meme coins, but I cannot actually stop them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 12:49 PM
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i will give you a slightly different perspective. I met my wife while we were both in college so we were both your average broke student. But we both work in IT and we make very good money for where we live. We may not work 80 hours/week, but we do spend 8-10 hours/day actually working. So what kept the relationship going is that we had similar objectives and spending habits. It was not like one wanted to save for a house and the other wanted to have a trip to another country each month or the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 10:20 AM
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no. he's in my city
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 06:41 AM
2

nope, bucharest
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 03:11 PM
8

I heard about the "men should walk on the outside on a sidewalk" thing when I was in college. Nobody ever told me that until then, but I did find it harmless enough that I did it without much complaining. Now back to the subject, I think the only real different thing I do different with female friends (or female friends of my wife) that come over is take them to the bus/metro station. It's a 10 minute walk, but there is one part where the public lighting is broken (thanks Romania) and it's kind …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 07:35 AM
7

any man who trusts a woman he just met about birth control is also an idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:00 AM
16

I think it will mostly be used by men in committed relationships. No women who thinks with her head will trust a man for casual hookups who says "oh yeah, I have a vasectomy/vesagel procedure, we can do it without a condom".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 02:13 PM
5

i am in my mid 30s and have never seen IRL anyone make fun of anyone for being a virgin or having troubles finding a relationship. Sure, it may just be that people tend to be more polite in face-to-face situations (as opposed to online), but those are just my 2 cents.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 07:10 AM
4

i think it's selection bias. People tend to post online more when there is something to complain. That's why you see more post about people bashing the company that made their fridge than those that have a perfectly fine working fridge. It would be really weird if you saw post every day where people just state that their fridge is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 06:58 AM
20

as a man I have never seen in my social circle women actively make fun of men they didn't like. At most they were indiferent. Maybe this is just another of those things where people who are terminally online are so much different than those who have normal lives outside the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 06:48 AM
1

same here. I had a handshake deal with my employer that they would pay me X% more money for 3 months if I helped another team for those 3 months (while working 2 more hours/day). I signed nothing and they could have just screwed me (at least the final month), but they were fair and honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:51 PM
–

social pressure and court of public opinion still exist. if my 18 year old daughter came home with a 30 year old man, i would 100% have a serios talk with her about it, but it's not like I can ban her from dating him. Also my initial impression of the guy will be that he is a creep due to the age difference alone. If the relationship somehow lasts, I am willing to change that impression, but age gap relationships are not exactly known to last.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:12 PM
2

I think once novelty wears off, a lot of the people will get disillusioned with AI/robot relationships. One thing people miss is that the validation people get from sex and relationships is exactly due to the fact that they require work and people can leave them. An AI/robot not being able to say NO will not bring the same level of satisfaction long term to a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:54 AM
–

i dont know a single techbro making decent money that wasnt married or playing the field by 30. The 2 best hires on my team are both bald and one is def on the spectrum. if you're as smart as you say you are you know that modeling this out the feature importance of net income isnt going to be 0.000 I work in IT and, sure, not everybody is in a relationship, but by the time they are in their late 20s to early 30s, most (AKA over 80%) of them are in some sort of LTR (or married). Similar situation…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:35 PM
–

I think one thing you are missing about having money for a comfortable (and then some) is that relationships tend to break up less often. Stress related to money i a huge cause of relationships breaking down. Not having to worry about housing, bills and food at all is a huge boost to any relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:30 PM
3

probably not, but because she is "used up", but because I spent most of my life in an LTR and want someone who also has similar views to relationships. I would see no problem with a woman who had 3-4 monogamous relationships that lasted 2+ years and maybe a few extra short term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 08:00 PM
10

what a weird view about "used goods". I am married and neither me or my wife were virgins when we met; it never bother me. We met in college and we were both each-others 3rd sexual partners. I find it really weird that you really expect people (in your case the expectation seems to be only placed on women) to just marry the first sexual partner. You people are not exactly known to make the best long term decisions and breakups are just normal part of people''s lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 01:32 PM
4

on a macro level it might be helpful, but i don't think it would be a populat measure with parents so nobody is gonna propose something like this on the political side. if such a measure was implemented as optional, most parent would try to start boys "earlier" (AKA as it is now) because of course "their little boy is the smartest boy in the universe".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 01:37 PM
2

i think it depends on the environment. In school settings, girls are the "golden standard" in terms of behavior and boys are sometimes treated as "deffective girls".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 12:12 PM
6

then problem with "more capable of logical reasoning and risk understanding" is that it's masked during adolescence by less developed decision making and impulse control. by the time both genders reach adulthood, the differences in brain development are mostly gone, but they do leave lasting impacts. It's why in school girls have better GPAs, but in standardised tests (SATs in the US) there is no difference in grades between genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 07:47 AM
24

there is scientific proof that women develop their prefrontal cortex faster than man (by about 1 year faster when they both reach adolescence). why is that part of the brain important? because it deals with stuff that we most asociate with adulthood: planning, decision-making, problem-solving, reasoning, goal setting, prioritisation, impuse-control, inhibition etc. These are all things we associate with adults and women do develop these faster. the highest difference in maturity in this part of …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 07:18 AM
6

i wouldn't say it's a disease, but it's definitely a double-edged sword. On one hand it creates a drive that, when channeled can make you very productive. On the other hand, if you are constantly hit with rejections, sexual frustration is the worst feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 06:50 AM
2

if I made statistics about married vs unmarried people, i would compare people within the same age segment. very few people married before before 24 so it's hard to make a statistic about that age group anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 08:01 PM
2

i have some experience in this area as my social circle is mostly formed of upper-middle-class people. Unsurprisingly to most, high earning women tend to be with high earning men. Doctors are with doctors, lawyers with other lawyers, engineers with other engineers etc; of course sometimes they mix-and-match between professions, but still they are with men with similar earning potential. That being said, a lot of these relationships formed before any of them had a lot of money. A lot of these rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 12:49 PM
34

unfortunately for us men, "being into you" is not always about being proactive, but being receptive to your advances, date suggestions. laughing at your stupid jokes etc. My wife was the shy type and I had to be the more proactive one at the beginning of the relationship. But it was still obvious as the whole process was painless and straightforward. Of course the obvious downside to this is that you still have to take the risk of asking her out and be rejected on the spot which sucks (especiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 11:26 AM
-1

A wife can't refuse to have sex without a "legitimate reason". Otherwise man can have the courts recommendation (!) to marry again. i am actually curious how this works. what woman will marry a man who divorced for such a reason? For men, I can see this happening maybe once or twice and than no woman would want to take the risk of marrying them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 08:36 AM
27

because they don't know any better. i think this is the main point. For most men it doesn't happen often, but when it does happen it becomes obvious really fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 10:43 AM
97

"making it obvious" is not about (always) jumping in bed with you on first date, but it about making all the process "easy". they want to talk to you, they respond to your messages, they make it easy to organise dates etc. Every man who tried dating multiple women knows the difference between a woman who is into you, one who is "meh" about you and one who is not interested at all
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 09:14 AM
8

sure it may be cope, but it also may be realism. In college there was once female colleague who was very pretty, but because she was very religious (went to church every weekend, was the "waiting for marriage" type) almost no one tried to date her and those who did quickly bailed out. Shortly after college she married another guy from her church circle. In that case, nobody was actually "intimidated" by her, but she was not the type of GF the guys were looking for. And a lot of these guys were r…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 07:13 AM
13

have been in a relationship with the same woman for 13 years now, so my information may be a little outdated, but when I used to date, i would kinda instinctively "know" if I had any chances with certain women or not. I was never the kind of guy for cold approaches, so warm approaches in social settings were my thing. I don't remember ever feeling just "wow she is too beautiful for me" but more like "the whole package" told me she was not interested or I didn't like her vibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 06:52 AM
1

I think the better way to say this is "she will make things easy for you". That may include "sex on first date", but it's not applicable to all women. Other things to consider: she will respond to you messages about second/third dates rather fast she is willing to discuss activities to do in subsequent dates she doesn't look for excuses to cut dates/meeting short In short, dating her is not really a chore.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 08:04 AM
–

Pro tip of the day: in a good relationship marriage itlself doesn't change much, what really changes things is when kids are born.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 11:32 AM
–

i think everybody knows that people mostly marry other people of similar socio-economic standing. it's just basic common sense. proximity is still king and people are mostly surrounded by people of same socio-economic standing. And there is no active discrimination in this, it's just how life works. If I were to marry any women I met (not talking about dating here, just meeting) during and after college, 99% chances they would not have been earning minimum wage, but also not filthy rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:17 AM
–

online you can find enough people to support any crazy movement. i have seen people only supporting all kinds of crazy things (flat earth, gravity isn't real, lizard people existing etc) and yet, you rarely seem them in real life (or they know how crazy it would be to say such things in public). if it's mostly online and you don't see it happening IRL around you, I wouldn't say it "popular culture"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:12 PM
2

I think it's also helpful to know someone has your back in cases where you are busy with something else. I am the main cook in the family and my wife is the main cleaner. We know our roles in the family and there is no conflict about who has to do what. But if anyone of us is busy/sick/very tired, we also know that we can count on the other to take responsibility for everything for a limited amount of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 12:27 PM
1

consistency is the problem as an adult with a full time job. Everybody has free time, but nobody has that free time at the same time. Once my friends group (8 people) from college started full time jobs, it almost became impossible to gather all of us at the same time. setting a meeting on short notice (under 3 days) we are lucky if we gather 2-3 of us. And even if we setup a meeting 1 month in advance, there are 50-50 chances that everybody who confirmed will show up (usually something else com…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:47 AM
7

The problem is that in college you don't have the day-to-day stress of a job. And that's the reason you can't really replicate the same environment once college is over. Once you start a full time job you are much more stressed, have less free time and even if you land an ok job, the group of coworkers is not stable over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 06:26 AM
2

this is just people who have no experience with relationship talk like. Sure, desire should include sex, but your GF/wife not wanting sex every time you want is not her not desiring you. There are a whole lot of shades of gray between dead bedroom and "sex every night" and most people live in those gray areas and are perfectly fine with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 11:55 AM
18

sure, but sex also gets better the more you have it cause you learn what you like/dislike. If pair-bonding was real in humans divorce rates for people who marry very young (under 22) wouldn't be higher than those that marry a little bit older.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 12:26 PM
3

if pair bonding was real, then people who married young (before 22) wouldn't have much higher chances of divorce than people who marry later.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 12:14 PM
4

yeah, we have similar number of previous partners and none of us were virgins when we met.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 07:57 AM
8

honestly i was kinda jealous of my cousin when we were both in college. he had way more success with women. but that feeling started disappearing when I met my now wife. 15 years have passed since then, and one good partner is 100% worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 07:03 PM
0

I agree that people with less relationship experience (or in new relationships) can't really tell the difference between the two. Once you get to know someone, you should know (or at least feel) the difference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:16 PM
3

honest question: how do you differentiate "withholding" from "not in the mood"? I don't think most people will be stupid enough to actually outright say "i am withholding sex", but can just say "i am not in the mood" and there is no way to prove otherwise
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:11 PM
–

were you raised by a poor family? my wife has the same issue (she grew up dirt poor) and has a nagging voice in her head that tells her to save as much money as possible "just in case" (the case being everything falls apart and she ends up dirt poor again. If it wasn't for me balancing her out, she wouldn't even go on holidays (I am the one who organises everything).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:49 PM
3

but that's the point. me choosing a Mercedes is not boycotting other car brands, it's just be getting what I can afford and consider what is best for me. That's exactly how people choose who to date. Nobody thinks about the other people that they have not chosen as boycotting them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 07:44 PM
10

as someone else said, dating is the ultimate free market today. The power to choose means also the power to not choose someone else. Calling it eugenics is like calling me buying a Mercedes wishing for every other car maker to go bankrupt.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 12:54 PM
14

"more sex" doesn't automatically mean "with more people". Exactly because there are no consequences (AKA no babies) people can haver sex with anyone they want (which also means people than wouldn't make good parents). People who do end up in relationships can have a lot more sex than ever before if they choose so, exactly because they are not afraid of having kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 12:27 PM
13

my theory is that the only thing keeping people from having as much sex as they wanted in the past was the fear of having children, not some moral superiority. propaganda or not, it was only a matter of time between when having sex didn't involve high risk of pregnancy to when people started having casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 12:04 PM
20

by your logic, people mainly dating/marrying within their own race is also eugenics. People just have to accept that dating is just discriminatory by its very nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 11:56 AM
34

I don't know people who are rich-rich, but know a few who are very well off. most of them married within their social circle. The met their partners through college/jobs/etc and things evolved from there. In my limited experience, the fantasy of a rich guy meeting a broke waitress and marrying her is mostly just that, a fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:25 AM
–

counterpoint: having empathy doesn't mean being willing to take active measures to do anything about it. We all know about homeless people and maybe even feel sory for them, but very few of us are willing to share our home with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:17 PM
8

exactly this. in a services based economy, there are a lot of jobs where you can make good money without needing a lot of physical strength. I work an office job, and the fact that I can lift twice as much as my female colleagues means absolutely nothing. In family life, sure, i help with lifting/carrying heavier stuff, but it doesn't happen as often as to consider it a burden.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:10 AM
2

I don't think much changed, it's that over time, parents started pushing girls just as much as men to focus on education, because better education will lead to better career opportunities (on average). For a lot of time, if a woman's main role was being a wife/mother, of course parents didn't push girl as much education wise because it doesn't naturally translate to better results in that area. In short, the education system always favored girls, but for a lot of time this fact was hidden becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:03 PM
2

realising and actually caring enough to change that are two very different things. I realise that a lot of children are dying of hunger in many parts of the world, but I would not be willing to cut my salary in half to help a few of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:52 PM
5

i think "admire" is too strong a word. Maybe respect (the job and the direction she want in life) is a much more appropriate word.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:34 PM
1

From my own experience successful (or what I consider successful) women are mostly in relationship with men of similar status (income/career wise). Very very few are single, and also very few are with men with what is considered a less "successful" career. Sure, there may be fewer men on the same status level as them to go around, but most of them have been able to find such men and managed to keep the relationship going long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 07:51 AM
4

the problem for men in education is kinda biological. girls just develop their brains a little faster (by about 1 year) and that difference is most noticeable in adolescence. By the time people get to college the difference is mostly gone, but the damage (to the GPA) has already been done.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:18 AM
3

yeah, but it increased for both men and women so it should impact both genders equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:15 AM
0

sure, but that's why I mention specifically LTRs. it might depend on your standard, but for me a relationship becomes a LTR somewhere around 9-12 months. Basically what I am saying is that, if men are willing to cheat, they will already have done so before this mark and it increases the chance of the relationship breaking down before it reaches LTR territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:59 PM
17

from what i've seen, men who cannot be faithful don't even seem to reach the phase of the relationship where you can call it an LTR. I know a couple of guys who went wild in college. One of them settled right after college and has been with the same woman for the past 10+ years. The other has been moving from woman to woman for the same 10+ years. I think his longest relationship has been 6 months (he was faithful during that time), but he simply gets bored in relationships once the "new relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:09 PM
1

That doesn't mean they wouldn't choose to. Men can already "choose to"; nobody is actively stopping them. But there are very few incentives to do so, so many don't make that choice. There are definitely advantages. the advantages you talk about are for short term relationships. For long term relationships, there are very few advantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 09:26 AM
6

sex is like money: it's not important when you have it, but when you don't have it it's suddenly the most important thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:21 PM
2

before we got married we had separate finances, but also a joint account for household expenses where we each contributed 50-50. After we got married we joined our finances. In our case, the fact that we make about the same (and have good incomes for our country) helps a lot. We each have veto powers on big expenses, but understand that some splurging from time to time is not a bad thing as long as we are not reckless with our money.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:20 PM
1

i read "across" as "across socio-economic lines" AKA people from a different socio-economic class. I think we are talking about the same thing and we just had a language barrier.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:01 PM
6

not really. proximity is still and will always be more convenient. Proximity will always be king because people will just go about their lives and naturally meet people of similar socio-economic standing. Assorive pairing is the norm exactly because it's more convenient for everybody involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:52 PM
13

Generally men don't care, or at most its at the bottom of their list. Though I'd also argue if men were given the option of lower socioeconomic women, many would opt for them. I was with you until this. What exactly is stopping men from dating lower socioeconomic women? why don't they start a relationship with the waitress at their favorite restaurant? And passport bros are a bad counterexample because they went the passport route exactly because they didn't find a partner in their own country. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:57 PM
6

motivation doesn't equal success. Sure, it may increase the chance of success, but I don't think that it increases it by that much that we see a change on a macro level.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:19 PM
1

As a man myself, I feel like something that is not talked about often (especially here) is how some men need to be convinced to see a doctor for a potential health problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 07:51 AM
11

I think everybody agrees that a good romantic relationship is good for both men and woman. The problem is that you cannot really force such a relationship to just materialize. because it involves 2 people, both the needs and wants, such a relationship needs compatibility, compromise and some luck. And exactly because you cannot force such relationships to happen, it's not discussed as a realistic solution to male loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 11:57 AM
15

men get the same dopamine rush and wears just as fast. The difference is that less men are able to consistently find new relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:07 PM
5

similar experiences here. The best advice I got from my parents was to take every opportunity to go to social gatherings/events. But, it took some trial and error on my side during college to figure out dating on my own. I also wonder what advice I will give my children when they are older, but who knows how dating will change in the next 10-20 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:17 AM
5

from my experience (for both men and women) cheating is sometimes ignored if one the cheating partner is a core member of the social group and their partner was just brought in the group when the relationship started. If both partners were core members of a social group, then that social group is fractured.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:29 AM
–

I don't think you will get many answers. even for those with a small numbers of partners, marrying your first one is pretty rare. For me, my wife is the only one the relationship went over 3 months, but I did have a couple of short-term GFs before her.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 10:15 AM
3

any source on this? I could only find sources like this show the percentage is still in the mid 30s for women STEM graduates
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:11 PM
3

while men vastly outnumber women in STEM, women have started being majority in med school and law school (with about 55% in each).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:08 PM
2

the problem with this whole arguement is that you need conditions to maintain said love. The most basic one (and 99% of people can agree on) is "no cheating". so is the love "unconditional" if that love can turn into hate/disgust when such a condition is broken? loving someone only if they don't cheat makes love conditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:37 PM
–

in short "proximity is king". people are just surrounded by other people who mostly have similar values, education and incomes. If look at my own life, my chances of being together with a highschool dropout or a minimum wage job worker are below 0.1%. Why? because i went to a good highschool where nobody dropped out, almost everyone got into college and most of those that got into college actually finished it. Basically I was never in constant proximity to such people.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 07:21 AM
2

i think "unheard of" is a bit of a stretch. from what I know, in the US, marriages where the woman is the primary or only earner in the family make about 15% of all marriages. At the other end of the spectrum (male primary or only earner) make about 55% of cases. And of course couples were the partners make about the same are the rest 30%. Most people know that marriages where the woman earns a lot more than their husbands do exist, but they are not the norm. I also think that child caring is wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:48 AM
–

I think there are statistics that show more women are leaving organized religion than men. I think more women than men are leaving (or not strictly following) religion due to that religion's stances on gender roles for women that doesn't fit with what they want to do. So you end up with more men than women that are "truly" religious, so of course some men will end up alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:48 PM
3

i think there is a statistic that businesses led by women tend to be (on average) less profitable than those led by men, but also tend to go bankrupt less often. nothing surprising considering men are more risk takers (again on average).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:33 PM
1

have you guys actually had to protect women you don't know? maybe i've lived in areas that are relatively safe, but i think I had to protect a woman maybe two times in 30+ years. In most cases men don't actively protect women, but do so passively; their very presence acts as deterrence.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 09:10 AM
1

We kinda threw away the old molds of gender roles because we thought they were too rigid, but the new mold is "you figure out yourselves". I don't think society really knows what a concrete new mold would look like so I think it will be up to individuals to find a partners compatible with their worldview or be comfortable being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 03:03 PM
1

thank you for providing a source :)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:47 PM
27

I think the biggest problem men (or better said boys) face is an education system that seems to be (and always has been) geared towards girls. This has a snowball effect in later stages in life. And the problem here is that nobody (as in a political party) wants to experiment on the education system as nobody knows what a better system actually is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:42 PM
2

most educated women tend be married at highest rate, and also tend to have more children. i think the more educated the partners are the less chance of divorce there is, but not I don't think educated couple have the most children.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:39 PM
61

the problem is that there is a lot of zero-sum thinking. people believe that if they somehow address men's issues, it will detract from women's issues. but, the irony is that they are somewhat related. if too many men "fail at life" (too many compared to women), then women will also struggle to find life partners (if they so desire).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:25 PM
1

if you ask me, you are way too pessimistic in your numbers. A lot of people have enough of a moral compass that they would rather divorce than cheat and if you ask me, divorcing is always a much better option than cheating. also, I think people should aim for a great marriage, but most would be happy with a good one. it's like people should aim to be rich, but most people will be happy with a comfortable life. being an adult does involve setting some realistic expectations along the way. from my…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 07:41 AM
3

the closer the social circle is, the worse it is if you want to have sex with multiple people inside said social circles. Within a social circle you get 1-2 (max 3) opportunities for relationships and after that you get a "reputation" (you poison the well). Yes, you have better chances to get "increased sexual activity" as part of an LTR, but if your objective is just casual sex, social groups are not your best target. real life is not a tv series where everybody has sex with everybody within a …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 10:13 AM
4

i think the problem is that men are held to some more rigid standards and that's why there are more male-to-female transitions than the other way around. I heard it summarized it well as "society accepts tomboys more than sissies"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 06:24 AM
9

in theory, everything you said is good. The problem is that people (so both men and women) are not 100% logical creatures and they do and incentivize bad behavior. It's not a realistic scenario that we will reach a critical mass of men who apply these rules, at least not during our life times. It's similar to smoking: people know it's bad for you, companies know it's bad for people who do it, but people still do buy cigarettes and companies makes billions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 02:28 PM
1

If it’s religious, cool she’s a virgin and she follows her religion. Not compatible with me, but she still will be desirable to others. i knew a couple of women like this in my college days. In such cases her high religiosity was the turn off, not the virgin part. In short, almost nobody was willing to wait until marriage (or marry that young) so she stayed single throughout her college years. Two years after finishing college she met a similarly religious guy and they were married within a year…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 08:20 AM
1

proximity is still king for a lot of relationship. and of course people spend most of their time with people of similar background/values/intelligence/income.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:51 PM
3

i think I read about this about speed dating events, but I admit I don't know anyone who told me they went to such events.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 02:18 PM
49

my personal theory is that every place that will be considered a "good place for finding partners" will turn in a sausage fest and instantly stop being a "good place for finding partners" because women will stop using it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 01:16 PM
2

I am in my mid 30s and married. I recently went to a family gathering and a woman (from a slightly distant family branch) who just finished college was there. she felt like a child to me, so instinctively that was outside my potential dating pool in age alone. Since I am married I never gave this much thought, but I would wager something like 28+
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:47 PM
2

i think facing rejection for men is kinda natural (as in we expect it), but it does hurt and cause frustrations if it is consistent. I think we can hold two thoughts at the same time: consistent rejection is frustrating and that women have a right to reject those who they are not interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 05:26 PM
8

for me, i would see it as a sign of disrespect if she did it. Sure, my dating world was probably different (I met my wife 10+ years ago), but even then I saw multiple people chasing the same possible partner (from both genders), but it was very rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 05:09 PM
3

i think this isn't its own factor, but it's part of "how were your past relationships?" discussion. After a certain age, it's kinda weird for both genders to not have had any relationships at all. It's not a red flag, but it is a yellow one that that needs some examining.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 04:57 PM
10

what would be an appropriate response if/when they are not interested?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 04:09 PM
1

do I want women to initiate more? sure But for things to change, a critical mass of men would need to not be the initiators. And I don't believe that will happen within my lifetime. I don't consider myself a fatalist, but a realist. I consider that a better target for improvement to be lower level of simping, not lower levels of being the initiator.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 10:55 AM
10

it just seemed like the natural next step. On some level we are all "manipulated" by the culture we live in. where the influence of culture ends and where our own independent decisions begin is a very hard thing to define. For me it was never about "she is forcing me to do this", but more of "this is the next natural phase in our relationship and I want us to take the next step".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 10:47 AM
16

Asking for something while on your knees is essentially begging. for me begging would be her saying no and me having to convince her. Chasing another human being just like you is never rewarding, unless you're a manipulated man. again, the end result can be rewarding. I never once think that I shouldn't have made the first step with my wife; because she reciprocated my effort it never felt like a chore. The thing is men don't actually need to do this. The reason why women don't make the first mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 10:12 AM
13

honestly, our relationship hasn't changed much since we got married, we only merged our finances. I think that's the sign of a good relationship, when nothing really changes. also, "gain for divorce" doesn't really apply to us. we make about the same money, so nobody would gain anything financially from a divorce. I don't know about anyone else, but being husband&wife has a much more nice ring to it than boyfriend&girlfriend. For better or for worse, society does put a lot more worth into people…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 10:06 AM
32

ok, most of this post is about the initial phases of the relationship, where us men are expected to be initiators/chasers. And I tend to agree, that it's not the most fun part, especially if/when you are struggling. literally goes down on one knee and essentially begs a woman to be with him until death. this is the part where I have an issue. I am married and i did all this, but "beg" is such a harsh (and wrong) word. I think we use the word "ask" (to marry) because it's a more fair word. Am I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 09:49 AM
11

i wouldn't say limited social skills. most attractive men i know, are not "bad" at socializing, they are average, but they compensate with looks. in short, attractive men need to have a "good enough" personality to not turn away potential dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 09:25 AM
13

i never said it never happens, but you imply that it happens more often than not. everybody with 2 working brain cells knows that only a small minority of women have a sugar daddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 10:40 AM
25

wow, way to have a proper discussion. so your whole argument is "all women will cheat on you if you are broke"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 10:16 AM
24

then all couples you see on college campuses (where most people are broke) are fake? what matters more are expectations. sure, money helps, but nobody realistically expects college students to have much money, but college guys still get relationships with similar age women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 10:10 AM
18

i think it's common sense that when you accuse someone of doing something bad and they actually did it you don't suffer any consequences. this is valid for all kinds of accusations: infidelity, rape, murder. But at the same time, wrongly accusing someone is bound to have some negative implications.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:47 PM
8

they act like addicts. the logical part of their brain tells them that what they are doing is wrong, but they can't just control themselves. The only thing that can snap them out of it is to actually be faced with the consequences of their actions, but by that time it's (most likely) too late.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:39 PM
–

but the effect is symmetrical. higher earning women would also get a smaller dating pool, so they would need to compromise if they don't want to be alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 04:15 PM
1

i think it's related to risk taking attitudes. from what i remember it's for all age groups so both men and women are at peak maturity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:40 AM
4

So risk taking is seen as less immature, right? I would argue the opposite though. You can't earn big without risks. true, but you also lose big. I read somewhere that women lead companies have lower profits, but also fewer bankruptcies, while men lead companies have higher average profits but more bankruptcies. I don't necessarily think one approach is objectively better than the other. Does this mean women immature faster too? probably not because it's said that male peak is higher than female…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:27 AM
16

sure: link1: Considered the “CEO of the brain,” the PFC makes decisions and inhibits rash behavior. It’s where we process anger, fear, and aggression. It’s larger in women and matures a full two years before men, usually by the early 20s. Because women have larger prefrontal cortexes, they may be less easy to make angry, Brizendine says. link2: Prefrontal cortex development plateaus later in males than females although males have consistently greater volume and thickness [16,17]. Trajectories of…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:52 AM
69

it has been studied that women's brains develop earlier especially in adolescence. that difference is about 1 year during that time, but the gap is almost non-existent by the time people enter college. so, yes, women do "mature" faster, but by the time most people talk about serious dating (when they are young adults) this difference is insignificant. If you ask me, young adult men appear less mature because men are naturally more risk taking and behaviors such as "hey, look at me doing X" seems…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:45 AM
2

i think the problem is that how girls behave in class is considered "good" and the default (more conscientious, less rowdy etc) and boys are kinda treated as "broken girls". I can understand why a teacher may prefer the the girl behavior (easier to teach and handle). The problem is that nobody seems to know what the correct middleground is and nobody is really (yet) willing to experiment a solution. One user here suggested gender segregated schools, but i don't think it's a good solution (both g…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 03:01 PM
4

and that is why I am talking about my experience even 10+ years ago. Even in high school (so 15+ years) ago, girls in my class used to be more conscientious and that resulted in larger average grades. My point is that the sign were always there that the education system was more suited for girls it just took some time for the pendulum to swing to the other side far enough for this to be an obvious issue. PS: if you want to talk in romanian you can PM me :)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 02:52 PM
1

intelligent boys are called dorks only if their whole personality is about being good in school. I have seen way more intelligent boys being one-dimensional (being good in school is their whole personality) than intelligent-girls. I am no sure if it's cultural, genetic or both, but that has been my observation over the years.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 02:47 PM
5

women have also started to be a majority of student (and graduates) in well paying fields as well. Sure, engineering is dominated by men (i think over 75% of engineering degrees were awarded to men), but medicine and law schoolshave become majority (around 55%) female and business schools are on their way to becoming pretty gender equal. So yes, more of the perceived valuable degrees go to men (mostly due to STEM), but women have been gaining ground in the last 10-20 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 11:52 AM
18

the school system is made for woman the irony is that the school system was created by (mostly) men, for (mostly) boys a long time ago, but it was always better suited at teaching girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 11:41 AM
3

for when I studied CS, men were overrepresented at the top, but also overrepresented in those that quit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 11:10 AM
8

i read studies that wage/career growth is about the same for men and women working in the same field, until the late 20s/early 30s. I think we can all guess what happens during that time (children). And it's not actually a penalty on women specifically, but on the parent that takes main caring responsibilities (usually the woman). it's also observed in same-sex couples where the main carer takes a career/wage hit. As for "economic success", i think every study has shown that on average, a colleg…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 11:05 AM
6

oh, i agree that something should be done. the problem is that nobody seems to know what is the best solution. The way we teach children (go to school, stay still and pay attention in class and then do homework) hasn't really changed for 80+ years. From what I read, girls always had an natural advantage in the way we teach children, but it was not obvious because they were not encouraged as much to focus on their education. I don't think either side of the political spectrum has a realistic solu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:57 AM
14

This is just false it's proven science that women's brain (expecially the pre-frontal cortex) develops earlier in girls than in boys (by about 1 year). And the prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that deals with attention regulation and response inhibitions (terms gathered from a quick google search). And both these skills are essential to a better GPA. People forget that a better GPA is not always related to higher intelligence, but to discipline: paying attention in class, studying by y…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:46 AM
9

I am from romania and some universities have entrance exams (usually in demand ones like medicine, law, some engineering degrees, some business degrees), but a lot do not because they just want students to apply. Medicine (with a written entrance exam) is 65% female and engineering (with or without written exam) is about 65% male. When I finished college (computer science, with written entrance exam) 10+ years ago, about 30% of those that were admitted didn't finish, but men were overrepresented…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:40 AM
8

it has been studied that better GPA at admission is highly correlated with higher chance of actually finishing college. Usually there is almost no difference between men and women at standardized tests at the end of highschool (by that time women's developmental advantage is almost gone), but for most men the "damage" to their GPA is already done. So, if colleges want more gender-equal students they should take into account standardized tests, but if they want student that are more likely to fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:17 AM
19

i think it has been discussed before, but women (especially in developed countries) enjoy an advantage due to how schooling works. They have better GPAs and thus have better enrollment (and finishing) stats in colleges. Sure, some may argue that better enrollment stats doesn't usually translate in choosing "better degrees", but usually college educated people have better careers on average. and no, women's advantage in education is not some conspiracy by government/feminists/etc. it's just a fun…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 10:09 AM
33

i am sure that it's not your intention, but the whole post reads like men "born with a golden spoon in their mounts" are the majority. also, it's not clear who these struggling men you are talking about are? are they dirt poor, lower middle class, middle class etc (basically anybody not rich)? most people, women included (of course), live their lives surrounded by people of a similar socio-economic class and to the surprise of nobody they mostly marry the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:04 AM
8

how do you test that they actually learn anything and not just go through this course to get the "license"? these are all pretty subjective things and you have no real way of testing this knowledge.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 10:29 AM
2

still, no amount of education, explaining, inspiring etc will make people not avoid bad decisions. the best example is alcohol. every person knows that drinking too much is bad for you. parents tell/teach their children this (for obvious reasons), society tells us this, we see other people get shitfaced from alcohol. and yet, people still drink too much alcohol sometimes. Why? because we are humans and humans are not perfectly logical creatures.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 10:05 AM
2

no amount of education will make people avoid bad decisions. also, you car analogy is really bad. sure there are (somewhat) clear rules on how to drive, what the signs mean etc, but human relations are much too complex to be boiled down to a bunch of rules. There will be 100 exceptions to every rule and at that point, the rules become useless. why not propose only college educated people vote in elections? they are the most educated so it's clear they will make the best decision. this last parag…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 09:46 AM
18

then it's not an effective insult. an effective insult must be taken as one by the person receiving it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 07:41 AM
12

the best experience you can get from relationships at that age is that it's not the end of the world when you will (most likely) break-up. with the power of hindsight, we all know relationships at that age are kind of a shitshow (as you said, nobody knows to date), but it's something i think of as "cute" (as "cute" as a baby cat trying to climb down a batch of stairs for the first time) when i think about that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:08 PM
–

is this some sort of bait for a "yo mamma" joke?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:09 PM
–

of course doing murder is unethical. but so it preventing people from being in relationships. you being on the internet and consuming electricity causes "harm" to the planet. but you have been on reddit for two years and haven't stopped and you will probably continue doing this harm for the rest of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:35 PM
–

that logic can be applied to life itself. just by living you are bound to consume unnecessary stuff. by this logic we could also argue that we should kill old people because they fulfilled their purpose in life and they are a net burden on society.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:29 PM
–

controversial opinion: if relationships were less of a motivation, the amount of "harmful work" being done in the world would be about the same because there would be less SAHMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:18 PM
–

but my point is that you forced a link to dating. people must still work to sustain themselves even if dating would disappear as motivator. people would still want "unnecessary amenities" for themselves so you will find someone willing to build them. hell, a computer/smartphone is an "unnecessary amenity" and even without dating people would still want to buy them. In short you discovered a flaw in the current economic system and kinda forcefully linked it to dating as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:06 PM
–

ok, so what is the alternative you propose? UBI? all jobs be required to be "sustainable?" no "unnecessary" amenities ever be built? Also, lets say that tomorrow men lose all interest in women. they will still have to work because you need money to feed and house themselves. sure, maybe men will lose some motivation in working if desirability to women was not a top priority, but most of them would still have a have a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:53 AM
–

i am not sure I understand your point or the purpose of this post. we all know the advantages and disadvantages of different dating methods (warm approaches, cold approaches, apps etc). us men, realize pretty early on that nothing actually guarantees success and that it's a lot of trial&error.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 01:14 PM
10

same here. my wife is in charge of cleaning and I am in charge of cooking. I once asked her if she wants us to hire someone to come once a week to do a full round of cleaning, but she said she doesn't want it because she sees it as an "invasion of privacy".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 01:56 PM
9

i think it's a combination of sex and companionship. lack of both of these leads to frustrations which, over time, leads to anger. In short, unsuccessful men have had these feeling boiling inside them for a lot of time, with no real pressure valve to release them. could some men be satisfied with just sex (one night stands)? sure, but for the others, simply having sex would probably get boring after some time and would still crave a deeper and longer connection with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:45 PM
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if you ask me it's because nobody can offer a realistic solution that can fix it. Sure talking about a problem it's the first step to fixing it, but for this problem realistic solutions are rather difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:35 PM
2

It is a matter of upbringing, role models and culture. If you have ever witnessed or experienced true love, the kind of love that makes people go though hell for one another, put everything on the line, carry their loved ones when they are at their worst, you will treasure it above all else. It quickly transcends lust. this. gestures of love are not always flashy or always come from a place of happiness. getting through a hard time with your spouse is not something you will post on your instagra…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 01:07 PM
10

true, but I don't think a lot of people here ever reached that milestone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 01:02 PM
10

i think people also confuse infatuation with love.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 12:59 PM
3

why must everything be extremes? why is it either "chad doesn't love any woman at all" or "simp go to extreme lengths to show their devotion"? most people live in the rhay areas between these extremes where they have loved someone, they may have been disappointed by others (or even the same person that they loved) then they may love again etc. terminally online people have this vision of love as something grand and continuously intense. Yes, love (as with attraction) must be maintained, but it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 12:58 PM
–

They're still friends with them, associate with them and so on. Men are similar to the extent that they don't care, but they also don't really gossip about it. Similar experiences here. I know both men and women who have cheated in the past and for the most part you get "yeah, that's not a nice things you did there" talks, but they are never outright kicked from the friend group. The only consequence is that almost nobody will recommend them to any other friends (AKA no matchmaking). I think the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:11 AM
5

are people really not informed about the risks/benefits of marriage as it is today? everybody knows/heard of nightmare scenarios for both genders so it's not like anybody hides these things. what will happen in your framework is the same thing that happens now: "i will just sign, i am sure nothing bad will happen to me. bad stuff only happens to other people".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 07:10 AM
9

then how different will this new standard be from how marriage is now? my point is that the new default will not be much different than the current one and what we are doing is just paying extra money for lawyers.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:58 AM
18

should there be a default "contract" for people who don't want to actually waste money on lawyers? i cannot imagine anything less romantic that wanting to marry someone but then let us negociate with lawyers present and also give them money for doing so. and if such a default exist, 90+% of people will just go for it because it will be just like marriage ceritificates are today. most people will understand the risks and benefits of said default contract and tey will just go with the flow.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:41 AM
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yes, current economic paradigm reward focusing on your career and education in your early and mid 20s. the economic system heavily penalizes the main caring parent because at around 28-32 is when you are far enough in your career to get some good promotions, but if you decide to have kids, those promotions/raises are mostly gone. in short, almost no aspect of capitalism (in this day and age) encourages people having more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 01:52 PM
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I don't think you will find any consistency here. I took a look at some friends I know are in pretty good relationship: couple 1: she in alone in her pfp, he is with his wife and kid, both have picture of their family on their profile couple 2: she is with her husband in her pfp, he is with his wife in his pfp, most pictures are with them together on their pages couple 3: both alone in their pfps, both have pictures of them together on their pages couple 4: he has a picture with his wife as a pf…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:33 PM
2

for most people who can get casual sex (especially in a consistent manner) getting in a relationship is rather easy from what I have seen. The hard part is usually maintaining it and making it satisfying for both. I talked about this before but I know someone who is very successful on tinder and he can have casual sex on a regular basis. The problem is that he is addicted to the new relationship energy and once that every wears off, the relationship will also end.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:22 PM
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wonder what the age distribution of those 75% would be. Also the frequency of such attempts. I have seen poaching attempts happen, but mostly in college (when people assume not all relationships are serious ones). After that I have heard people hitting on married people (my wife was hit on at a cafe while she was wearing her wedding ring), but I think it was mostly a "what do I have to lose?" attempt and not a serious poaching attempt.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 10:16 AM
13

related to college and starting a career, I think there is another thing that needs to be mentioned. couples that find out they are incompatible in terms of income, long term objectives or just unable to live together break up and just tend to know what they from the next relationship. In short, "real life" (AKA having a job + living together) is different that college dating and some couples just break up and shuffle around with other single people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:38 PM
–

is this something new or regional?? I am from europe and when I saw in college I never heard anyone use the phrase "husband material" (in its localized form) at all. Hell, I never even heard "wife material" spoken IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 02:50 PM
–

i think it depends on the timing. after some time in a relationship (especially if it's a good one) "husband material" is not seen as anything bad. But I will be honest, if my now wife said i was "husband material" within the first month of relationship I would have thought it at least weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 02:34 PM
–

i like the saying: money doesn't bring happiness, it just eliminates a lot of causes of unhappiness. I think the same happens for LTR. After a certain point, money doesn't guarantee a long lasting relationship, it's compatibility between partners (looks, personality, sex life, objectives). What good is all that money if the relationship will end after 1-2 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 07:41 AM
19

The idea is that you were talking about kindness in the context of male struggling with loneliness and mental health. And these kinds of problems are not really solvable by the kindness of random strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 02:01 PM
32

I will be honest, I have rarely seen women IRL being truly "unkind" to men. And no, not being interested in dating a certain man is not being unkind. Online discourse if full of extremists on both sides and it differs from real interactions. If you ask me, male friendships tend to be centered more around activities and less about talking. So a fellow man struggling will not express it as easily to hit male friends. When I go out with my male friends out to grab some beers, I am having a lot of f…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 01:54 PM
3

I guess it depends on how you are trying to meet women. If your target is dating apps, then you need to invest in looks, money, hobbies etc. If you are a more social person and regularly go out with a diverse social group, then you can let your personality do more of the talking. The other problem is that as you grow older, it's harder to meet new people (especially if you work in fields where it's not as "accepted" to hit on coworkers), especially those that are single. So most go to dating app…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 06:43 AM
1

but if a man is in a relationship with a woman with similar education/income, it would make sense that he could also find a woman with much lower income/education to want to be in a relationship with him. Hell I would guess it would be even easier. But it's obvious that men don't actively "discriminate" against such women so not focusing on education/career is a bad strategy for having a better chance to find high earning men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:33 AM
4

the idea is that whatever men on this sub say, men also don't seem to run away from women on the same socioeconomic ladder as them. The whole "men would prefer a bartender to a career woman" is pure fantasy and is not supported by statistics at all. If an educated and high-earning man is with a woman similarly educated and earning, it would make sense that he could also find a woman on a lower step, but he doesn't really seem that he really goes out of his way to find such a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:18 AM
1

same here. my social circle is made out of professions that are considered demanding (engineers, doctors, lawyers etc) and yet, the vast majority of them had time to find and maintain a relationship. granted, almost all of them are in relationship with people who have similarly demanding jobs so none of them felt the other was putting too little effort into the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 06:59 AM
3

in general, i believe that most people who say they don't have time for relationship because they are "focusing on their education/career" are just coping.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 06:48 AM
1

How i take "men would fuck anything" is that almost any woman can find a man to have sex with at any given time. Sure, individual men may have standards, but take 1000 random adult women and make them go one evening out with the express objective to have sex with a man, over 900 will get sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 03:11 PM
13

i am not saying it doesn't happen, but it's a studied phenomenon that people form relationship mainly within the same socioeconomic status. In short, forgoing education/career and just hope to find a wealthy man is a losing strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:55 PM
1

i mentioned the "honeymoon phase" for a reason. During the initial part of a relationship, most people are blind to such incompatibilities or convince themselves that they are not important.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:54 PM
2

a true relationship starts after the honeymoon phase is over. And adjusting yourself and trying to adjust your partner (to some healthy/non-abusive degree) to each others preferences is a normal part of relationships as well. It's also normal for pushback to these changes to exist. Also there is nothing exactly wrong with discovering over time that you are incompatible in certain regards. When such a thing happens, nobody is at fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 01:43 PM
23

while not said very often here, there is a line of thinking that pops up every now and then: that women shouldn't focus on their education/career because that is not how they attract men or men don't care about that stuff. Real life shows that most people are in relationships or married with other people from same socioeconomic class, so women are more likely to be with educated or higher income men if they are also on a similar step on the ladder.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 11:16 AM
9

if you ask me, women are just as shitty as men, both in terms of numbers and actual shittiness. The problem is that society perceives men as more shitty due to one obvious reason: they display their shittyness in more obvious ways, due to the tendency of men to be more violent/physical. So it's more obvious when a man is shitty because he is more likely to be violent/aggressive/etc. On the other hand, women are shittier in more subtle, manipulative ways, so it's not as obvious to the rest of soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 01:52 PM
59

i have read this "controversial" take on some article, but I tend to agree with it: we blame video games, internet and porn for stuff, but they may have been a saving grace in disguise. Of couse the worst case scenario is bands of "marauding men" who have nothing to lose do bad things, but it seems that internet, video games and porn are a good enough opium for such men that they don't rampage out, but withdraw within. Could a critical mass be reached when the opium is no longer enough? sure, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 01:12 PM
9

the problem is that all those aspects are very much connected and a too big decrease in one or two of them tends to breed resentment and bring the others down with it. If you ask me, you know you settled if your reaction to your spouse is "sigh... ok" more often than not. it's ok not to be enthusiastic about everything you do with/for your spouse, but if it's for a majority of things then it's a bad sign.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 07:39 PM
1

how "successful" are we talking about? CEO (of a very successful business) level successful? highly paid, well respespected job (doctor, lawyer, engineering) successful?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 05:51 AM
6

unfortunately, GPA is a better predictor for college graduation than SAT is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:12 PM
8

in terms of SATs, the averages are about the same, with men being overrepresented at the top and bottom of the scores. But if you look at GPAs it's a "bloodbath" with women leading. from what I read, in the top 10% of GPAs, 66% are women and in the bottom 10%, 66% are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:30 PM
3

i think we have a hard time accepting that the education system is better suited for girls because the way we do education hasn't changed for at least 80 years. So if boys did ok in the past it must be the fault of the education system right? of course people miss the fact that girls weren't as encouraged in the past to focus on their education so of course boys seemed to do ok in school. the problem is that nobody has a good plan to change stuff. Also we don't know what the "balanced" system is…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:20 PM
–

ok, fair enough. the problem i see is that i see very few realistic ways of moving the needle very much in favor of less successful men. You have to remember that such rules need to be enforceable, not just random "men cannot have sex with more than 10 women per year" kind of rules which are unenforceable because nobody can really check who has sex with who on a macro level.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 01:18 PM
–

how is "treating men bad" happening in the context of romantic relationships? not wanting a relationship with a man is not exactly bad treatment. or maybe i am missing something about your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 12:30 PM
–

so, then the fulfilling part applies to both genders. how do you imagine forcing someone to be in a relationship they don't want to be makes that a fulfilling relationship for both of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 12:23 PM
–

having a fulfilling relationship is not a right. you have a right to try to get one and the government won't stop you. And nobody disagrees that a fulfilling relationship is a net positive for pretty much everyone. But then people also have another right: to not be forced into a relationship they don't desire. So even if you consider relationships/sex as a right, there is also another right that comes in direct conflict with that "right". So when these two rights come in conflict, people tend to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 08:45 AM
9

i don't think it's just socialization. I read that even boys as young as 1 year old are more likely to throw toys around than their girl counterparts. And I don't think 1 year olds hav been socialized enough to understand these differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 03:01 PM
–

i mean, that's why it's recommended to live together for a couple of years before getting married to determine if the love can withstand actually being together for long periods of time and to see if it can handle the higher monotony of everyday life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 12:14 PM
–

it depends if you consider girlfriends/wives of your male friends to be part of your social life. Most of my direct friends are men, but my social circle also contains a lot of women because when we hang out i bring my wife and they also bring their female partners. I would find it weird if your social circle is only made up of single guys or guys who never bring their partners to any social gatherings.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 10:43 AM
–

most people don't really think about such scenarios in a serious manner. spiraling into too many "what if" scenarios is not healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 11:01 PM
–

i know this might sound like a radical idea, but you could also marry someone who makes about the same as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 10:59 PM
0

yes, relationship are transactional, but the conditions of that transaction are somewhat subjective and often times not clear. Of course the basic transaction in a relationship is "we will not cheat" and that's something most people can get behind. That is an explicit and (mostly) clear condition. But to keep the relationship going and be a fulfilling one, the conditions are not as clear because most people don't know what makes them happy in the long term. People can identify what makes them un…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:55 PM
2

"secure" is a strong word when talking about relationships with a 10+ years gap. Those relationships have a 40% more chances to end in divorce than relationships for same-age people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:55 PM
2

nobody has a 100% objective POV. We are all the result of our experiences, guided by both ourselves as somewhat unique people, the people we surrounded ourselves with and the life we live with. When I speak here I speak from my own experience, but I also realized that I have been somewhat fortunate with some circumstances regarding my life (while being unlucky in others). As I grew out of adolescence and then into early adulthood, in college I did get to grow and change some opinions on how (suc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 08:09 PM
6

yes, these advices are good, but I don't think the OP would agree that they are non-toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 09:33 AM
6

the problem I see with "giving up" is that most men can't do it properly. They are still miserable and obsess over women and their failure constantly. That's why MGTOW is a failed movement; sure it works for a small minority, but most are stuck in a continuous rage loop agains women even after "giving up".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:43 AM
3

I think people who struggle with anything want a clear recipe on what they can improve, not a generic "be more masculine". That's why specific advice resonates more than generic one; I think that's why pickup artists who gave a proper "recipe" were so popular in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:40 AM
13

so, what should we do? Let's say I have a male friend that comes to me and complains about his dating struggles. I, as a friend, what should I say to him? Tell him to give up?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:31 AM
3

That's right. They chose this option, now they have to figure out a way to make it work. You should be held accountable to your decisions. but that as my point, in time this option will prove unpopular and it will not be chosen very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:25 AM
3

but it also prevents people from leaving a marriage that turns sour in long term. I am not sure a marriage in which both parties feel trapped and that results in continuous unhappiness and possibly continuous arguments is that much better for children.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:02 AM
4

you know what will happen? some people will choose this option, it will end up badly for them (because of course it will) and it will become a lot less popular in time as stories of "being trapped" come out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:52 AM
67

because it's the internet and you will find extreme opinions about pretty much everything. Yes, most men don't want to date single moms (especially if the man was never married or had kids), but they know to be civil and they just walk away from the relationship. I also think most women realise that being a single mom is a huge disadvantage for dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 12:01 PM
6

I have not seen this in my social group. While cheating has been rare, direct friends of the men being cheated on have been supportive of said man.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:31 AM
6

it depends how the relationships were formed. I have "friends" from my wife's side (mostly other women) so their boyfriends/husbands are level of separation too far from me. Yeah we sometimes hang out, but if they ever get separated/divorced, I will probably never talk to these men again. Also, I have noticed that both men and women take a "neutral" stance on their friends (doesn't matter if those friends are men or women) cheating. Most people don't want to burn bridges with those friends, even…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:17 AM
17

I don't really get the incentive to apply for such a thing. 0.04% tax break? I am almost at the 7 years target of marriage with my wife and I don't think any of us are willing to spend money and time to organize another ceremony.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 06:52 AM
23

the problem isn't rejection, it's constant rejection. On a logical level men get it that a woman rejecting him isn't doing anything bad or does it with the express purpose of hurting him. But humans are born with feelings and constant rejection is not easy and builds up frustration. Unfortunately this frustration boils over. just as the woman rejecting the man isn't done with an intent to hurt the man, this boiling over isn't the woman's fault, she just happens to be unlucky to be the one who wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 08:06 PM
1

you can value two things at the same time and in this case they come into conflict: i can value that person's friendship, but I also value my own mental sanity. You cannot really blame anyone for prioritizing their own mental sanity in this case. Developing romantic feelings in a platonic relationship, while sad (if they are onesided), is not saying that you devalued the friendship. Sometimes it tells that you considered it so good that you wanted that you wanted to try the "next stage".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 01:32 PM
2

the problem with the blame here, is that it's not really anyone's fault. At least nobody intentionally wanted to hurt the other. Humans are not 100% logical creatures. Yes, the relationship started as a true friendship, but we cannot really control our emotions in a perfect way, so one party developing romantic feelings is not really anyone's fault; it just happens. So it's hard to stop them from appearing, but it's also hard to make them go away. And for a lot of people it becomes mental tortur…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 12:09 PM
5

I wouldn't for one simple reason: they need to know how to handle themselves when they leave the house. My role as a parent is not just to keep them safe, but to prepare them for life as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 06:46 PM
6

consider that boomers also had daughters so of course they wanted them to have a good life, not just their sons.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:38 PM
–

ok, but how do you still allow free access to birth control and stop promiscuity? slut shaming?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 03:35 PM
–

you cannot really separate them. Birth control (in its various forms) allowed women to have careers, but the same birth control allowed women to also exercise sexual freedom. Without birth control there is no way women could have entered the workforce en-masse because pregnancy is such a limitating factor for career development
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:12 AM
55

the problem is a lot of people have a zero-sum thinking: if we help men, women will lose or if we help men, we will divert resources from helping women. The other problem is that the higher the social hierarchy you go, the less you see men struggle. And guess who has the most power to change things? exactly the circle who doesn't really see men struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 12:15 PM
2

i never said it makes it easier. it just makes men not give up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 07:00 AM
49

because most people live in the real world and see around them average guys in relationships all the time. So when these men see their average classmates be in relationship, the mentality of "it's over for me" is not really taking a hold. Are a lot of men still frustrated with dating? sure, but not enough to abandon it for good.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:50 PM
6

so you say that if a relationship is based on love, cheating should be accepted/forgiven?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 08:01 AM
17

relationships are always transactional/conditional, no matter how much love exists. The basic "transaction" in a relationship is "we will not cheat on eachother". Other transactions include sex, splitting of costs/chores etc. We call them transactions, but in normal talk we call these "expectations". Love is somewhat separate from that, but it is linked. Love is fed (or starved) by how well the transactions are met. even if love exists, frustrations from expectations not being met will starve th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 07:45 AM
12

nobody loves the other people before entering a relationship with them. they may like the person, feel infatuation or lust, but it's not love.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:15 AM
15

just an advice for future discussions: calling someone sarcastic name (sexhaver in this case) will just cause people to dismiss you and walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:14 AM
15

most people don't care about most people because they have their own lives to live. that's why you create a social circle because they are more likely to care about your issues. Even if I am posting in this thread, in about 1 day I will forget all about this thread an your struggles because you are not part of my social circle and life will just happen and move on to other thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:06 AM
13

i am not denying that men in relationship (or just seen as desirable by women) are considered higher status (by both men and women). So what is your solution? women accepting every romantic interest?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:47 AM
1

yeah, the common term is "unrequited love" but I don't like to use it (I use infatuation instead) exactly to avoid the term "love" completly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:41 AM
31

rejecting someone romantically is not done to actively hurt that person, it is just a rejection. Yes, men getting lots of rejections from multiple women will hurt, but no individual women actually means harm, she is just not interested in that kind of relationship with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:39 AM
9

because i have experience both, I know the difference. Infatuation can feel like love to those inexperienced, but it is not. the feeling is more like being "in love" with the idea of a relationship with said person than the actual person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:22 AM
6

You fell in love with someone who doesn't love you back? Thems the breaks. you cannot really love (in a romantic way) a person you were never in a romantic relationship with. the feeling may be infatuation or lust, but it should not be confused with love.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:16 AM
63

i think the issue is that women learn really fast that men perceive any kind of interest in their wellbeing as romantic interest so they kinda wall themselves off. So it becomes a chicken and egg problem: women don't show empathy, words of affirmation to men because men perceive it as romantic interest and men perceive it as romantic interest because women don't do it platonically. this is why true and long platonic friendships between men and women are rare, but when they do happen they are ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 08:11 AM
1

from what I know, most divorces happen in the first 10 years of marriage, so I don't think the longer average lifespan has much to do with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 06:22 AM
15

i don't see this pressure for men to pay everything in a relationship long term. Most couples I know are dual income either by choice (it good to have more money) or by necessity (it's impossible to live with only one income). your example with "women expecting men to still bring 1000 coins" is not something i really see. While women still expect their partners income to be similar or slightly higher, in real life I don't see this pressure for the man to bring in a way higher income that that of…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 01:30 PM
–

but what is a definition of settling? " If your life is worse with that person then you settled" is different than "if 100% of your needs are being met, then seek better' (as the OP posts).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 04:43 PM
5

it's not exactly a need, but a good partners makes life so much easier for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 09:52 AM
3

there was a transition period where families realized that being a wife and mother was not enough for their daughters and started encouraging them to focus on their education just as much as their sons. Sons were always encouraged to focus on education because it was seen as important for their role as providers for their future families.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 09:50 AM
2

that's the irony. men invented the style of teaching, but it was always better suited for women. It's just that the men who invented the style didn't realize that it was more suited for women because women were not really encouraged to focus on education as much because it was not that important for her main role at the time as wife and mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 09:16 AM
3

those things just sped things up, the end result would have always been the same. I put this list in another post, but in short women were always better suited for the education system we have and have had for 80+ years: Women's brains develop faster than in boys (by about one year) so they have a more mature brain almost all throughout highschool the way we teach (sitting in class, paying attention in class and then doing homework at home) is better suited for girls who are naturally more consc…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 12:54 AM
1

For decades we’ve been disadvantaging men in education the education system has always been biased against men (or better said it was better suited for women) for at least 80 years, but this fact was hidden because women were not encouraged as much to pursue and focus on education.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 12:32 AM
29

I am not saying that online dating is not a big cause, but i think another aspect is also important: it's become less stigmatized to be single. So, a person can be in a good relationship, in a bad relationship or single. Everybody can agree that a good relationship is preferred by both sexes. My personal theory (based on observations) is that men on average seem to favor a bad relationship (due to sex) to being single, while women prefer being single to being in a bad relationship. Of course we …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 12:28 AM
10

i mean his whole argument is that online dating is the cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 12:12 AM
5

the whole "not talking" about the past (which includes past partners) is kinda a yellow flag at least and the longer the relationship goes the redder it becomes. If you really want to "hide" your past, not talking about it is probably not the best solution. The better way is to probably create a believable lie and be consistent about it. Of course that lie has to survive contact between your partner and your other social circle (you don't want to say you had 3 exes, but over time meet 4+ exes th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 11:32 PM
2

same here. I am not sure exactly when me and my wife shared out lock screen passwords, but I think we were at least 2-3 years deep into our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 12:17 PM
10

the problem is that equality doesn't always benefit the group that is "on top". When women got the right to vote, things became equal, but at the same time men lost a lot of political power that came with being the only ones that could vote. so equality can be perceived as better or as worse depending on which part of the privileged side you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 12:56 PM
3

dude, I am a man (look at the flair) and I am speaking from my own perspective. the fact that people don't have to marry to have sex is a big plus I met my wife in college and neither of us were eachothers first relationship. the fact that we could have a lot of sex during college was definetly a big plus. And no, I am not some chad. argument made in bad faith as you'll label any failure as "NoT GooD reLatIoNSHip" most people don't just abandon a good relationship. most relationships that end do…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 12:50 PM
3

if both partners work, there is a lot less pressure on the man as a sole provider. I would also link birth control with feminism somewhat. the fact that people don't have to marry to have sex is a big plus. In short, i think good relationship got better in modern times, while bad relationship just break up faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 12:22 PM
5

that is a bad argument. you could say that we shouldn't have eliminated slavery cause white people didn't really profit from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:41 AM
5

why not just call it "change"? change is multi-faceted with both good and bad and society must adapt to said change. also, are you talking about modern feminism or the feminist movements of the past that gave women the same rights as men?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 10:47 AM
2

I always wonder why so many men are afraid of being single. because platonic relationships change once more and more of said friends enter relationships and change even more once said friends start having children. sure, you still meet from time to time, but their priorities will change away from you and move to their family (as it should be).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 09:05 AM
–

sure. here is the source. you can also google "age gap divorce rate" and find lots of sources with similar results.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 08:34 AM
5

I think you missed a zero for that 3%. From what I read, from what i read at 200k the divorce rate is still 30%. source but in general yes, college educated and high income couples have the least chance of divorce by far.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:10 AM
19

you will find very few women who would actively and knowingly choose to "share" any man, no matter the "value". What is a more realistic scenario is a man dating multiple women for short periods of time while none of them know about the existence of the others.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:02 PM
3

the main issue with age gap relationships is that they don't tend to last long term. if you take a zero year difference as a baseline of divorce chance, a couple with a 10 years age gap is 40% more likely to divorce that a zero-year-gap couple. What I hate most in some men here is the hypocrisy. Men complain that women with high n-counts make bad long term partners, but then say they want much younger women for relationship, when the statistics prove that much younger women also make bad long-te…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 08:23 AM
–

yeah. In short, control just revealed preferences and IMHO a lot of children in the past were not really wanted (wanted as it is defined today), but just a natural consequence of sexual desires being expressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:31 PM
–

but this equality couldn't have been achieved without access to birth control. having a kid (or multiple kids) during college or your early career is a sure way to sabotage your chances of success.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:18 PM
–

I have said this and will continue to say this. The question of "how many children do you want?" had very little merit for the longest time in our history. People had sex and children naturally appeared. We simply had no efficient and cheap way of birth control. Our desire for sex is still there, but we just found ways to control fertility with very high efficiency. Can you imagine your average college campus without various forms of birth control (we assume the amount of sex stays the same)? No…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:12 PM
2

yes, they have. I have told this story before, but when I was in college, the first two years i had really bad luck with relationships. I realised that i was kinda awkward and actually began somewhat working on how I talk to people. Don't imagine i change to become "the life of the party", but I did get better in the last 2 years of my college and had quite good success with women. For me it was never about my job (didn't have one)or money (i was as broke as the other students); also my looks di…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 11:16 AM
28

i think it depends on your objective. if you only want casual sex or short term relationships, it's a valid advice. If you want an LTR it's a very bad advice. Why is it a very bad advice lor LTRs? LTR oriented women are , by definition, in relationships and are "on the market" very rarely (yes, breakups do happen) and for very short periods of time. In short, the older you are, the harder it will be to find quality single people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 09:39 AM
–

fair enough. from you saying waitresses have more value I inferred that men should avoid professional women and go for said waitresses. sorry for mistaking the point you were trying to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 03:18 PM
–

Ergo that Waffle House waitress can, and often does, have far more value than a professional woman this is so bullshit. Men may not actively search as much for "career women", but they are not walking red flags either and men don't run away from them. Proximity is still king and successful men will more likely be surrounded by women who are also doing well for themselves. These men will NOT ignore the women around them just to get the sexy waitress. Assortive pairing is still the rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 03:13 PM
6

i think the first part is reasonable. dating, especially the first part, is supposed to be fun and lighthearted and "trauma dumping" is not a good idea at this part. the second part is like WTF??? 300 female friends? how does that even happen? how many male friends do you have?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:49 PM
1

the difference is that in order to finish college you must invest time (3+ years) into the same thing, while you can just leave jobs almost at will and find a new one. And I don't believe that most people who do not go to college stick to the same job for 3 years during college age. But I do agree that higher average income does lead to less divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:17 PM
4

sure, we all had crazy parties in college (yes, even in computer science classes), but statistics don't lie (college graduades have 25% divorce rate vs 38% highschool graduates).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 10:46 AM
8

it's similar to how the higher education you have the lower chance of divorce you have. The personality and skills required to graduate college (discipline, conscientiousness, having to do work even in stuff you don't enjoy) correlate well with personality and skills required to make a marriage work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 09:50 AM
49

i think it might be an overcorrection from previous generations where nobody went to therapy and you had to deal with all your shit by yourself or even worse, therapy was just drinking lots of alcohol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 07:10 PM
4

our education system is geared toward girls and young women and hostile towards boys and young men The funny part is that the way we teach children for the past 100 years has always been better suited for girls. but it's not some feminist conspiracy, it's just an unintended consequence. The way we educate our children in schools, where they have to sit in class, pay attention, then go home and do homework hasn't really changed over the last 100+ years (what we teach changed, but the structure of…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 09:59 AM
1

if you ask me, around 25 it starts to become a question mark for them. why? because under 25 it's the easiest to meet single people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:00 PM
2

yes, but not within the same social group. this type of consistent behavior tends to split up said social group.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 01:06 PM
6

not if they are looking for LTRs. From what i've seen from some female friends when we were younger the warnings were something like: "yeah he's single, but he's not really the relationship type. if you want to have fun, go for it, but don't get your hopes up for anything more".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 04:27 PM
22

from friends-of-friends you don't really get "dates per month", more like "dates per lifetime of social circle". If you get a reputation of "playboy" in your social group people are much less likely to introduce you to their friends or if they do, it comes with a clear warning. For a single social group you get 2-3 attempts of relationship before you get a certain label.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:08 PM
0

it's really hard to prove that tinder themselves created the fake profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 10:26 AM
10

good romantic relationships include friendship + sex + walking down the same road in life. FWB is missing the third element. sure, their paths may cross from time to time, but the people are clearly on different roads. missing the sex part is a dead bedroom and missing the first part sound like gold digging/relationship of convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 12:20 PM
8

if we are talking about consistent casual sex, I think that number is about 20-30%. Are we also including women who had limited casual sex experiences? Hell, if someone ask me, a man, if I engaged in casual sex, the answer would be yes, but it only happened once so it's not like it was consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 03:36 PM
3

when I went to college, it mattered more than in high school, but it still didn't matter that much unless you were actually way above your peers. money from part-time jobs/summer jobs were not usually enough to tip the scales too much in your favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 09:53 AM
11

I think money has different advantages at different stages in life: when young, there are enough women who will stay with you for the money that you spend on them, but these may not be the healthiest relationships out there because they would like the money/experiences offered by money more than you as a person. if you are already in a healthy relationship, money is a very good lubricant for the relationship. A lot of friction between partners will result from lack of money, so if money is not a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 07:18 AM
6

I agree but OP didn’t call those people “shitty.” i said that because people associate "discriminatior/discriminatory" with something bad, but in case of dating it's not exactly a bad thing and (in most cases) has no bearing on how you treat people you don't want to date in your day-to-day life.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 01:27 PM
9

not necessarily. some people may become friends when one or both of them are in relationships and most people will not try to cheat or break-up existing relationship. somewhat consistent proximity and compatibility. some relationships will not progress further than platonic and that's ok, others will transform into romantic ones and others will break if/when one person expresses romantic interest. going from friendship to romantic relationship is not something guaranteed to work since they are d…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 10:30 AM
39

yeah, i think the difference if on how people express those preferences. It's fine to not want to date autistic people, but there is a difference between saying a generic response ("sorry, but I am not interested") vs a mean response ("ewww, how could you think I would ever date an autistic person?"). Most people are graceful aand will go for the normal response, but there are mean people out there who want to put down others.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 10:21 AM
166

people have to accept that dating, in general, is the most discriminatory thing people will do in their lives. People will select for age, race (yes, race), education, income etc when it comes to dating. That doesn't automatically mean these people are shitty people, it just the nature of dating and searching for a person for a LTR requires some degree if "discrimination".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 08:41 AM
–

After a certain age, being a virgin starts becoming a yellow/red flag for women as well. If you want a somewhat active sexual life, being in a relationship with an "older" virgin women is risky. In my college class, the only women who was a virgin at the end of college was one who was very religious and wanted to wait for marriage. Since most guys were not as religious as her, she was single for all of college; it's not that she didn't have men hit on her, but all tapped out when she expressed h…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 07:14 AM
5

ooops, misread the question. still the mature one. Basically, I don't have the time/willingness to put into waiting for her to mature or even worse, never mature at all. naivete is fun, but only for short periods of time and it gets old really fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 02:56 PM
2

well, when I was young I was not interested in much older women and now would not be interested in the much younger ones. So, at my age, definitely the mature one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 02:49 PM
6

i think your argument somewhat makes sense if suddenly men developed the same libido as women. But if they had the same libido for generations, relationships (how they are formed and maintained) would change a lot across those generations and a new "normal" would emerge.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 06:26 PM
–

the thing is, most people have a breaking point. A person doing everything in a relationship (yes, it applies to both men an women) and not being happy about it will breed resentment and long-term will put strain on the relationship. Once people get in a relationship, most will try to keep that relationship going. So most will try to be fair to their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 07:47 AM
–

I still have pictures of exes on my phone (due to cloud backups) because I never bothered to delete them, but also haven't looked at them for years now. I have been in a relationship with my now wife for 10+ years, so the pictures have been there for just as long. She knows of my exes and the pictures and she never really cared.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 01:43 PM
7

the problem is that there are very few ways to "punish" only the single parent without also punishing the child. I think the logic is "ok, the adults are idiots here, but this is the most realistic thing to help the child". governments also have no incentive to change the laws because, if the father doesn't pay, the government must do so (AKA from everyone's money).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 01:36 PM
11

I agree that parental involvement would be best, but the main subject here is child support. And child support is mostly given when a parent is absent or not involved (for whatever reason) in the child's life.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 01:23 PM
22

while financial abortion is an interesting topic and debate, I find this funny: It's big 2024, a woman no longer requires a man to even live a decent life, so essentially all child support is really, is an opportunity for a scorned woman to punish a man for her own choices in life. You could also say that men, by not paying child support, punish the child (who is the only one blameless) for his choices in life (having unprotected sex).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 01:00 PM
2

It’s kind of obvious that if you the same job, but didn’t have a family to support you’d have a lot more money. yes, but only if you are in a 1 income household. in a 2 income family, sharing some expenses results in money being saved between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 09:32 AM
4

i do agree. My problem is that you wrote a long post about nothing. Most people agree that sex is an integral part of any romantic relationship, so removing sex from it seems very counterintuitive. If you ask me, people stay in relationships for one or more of the following reasons: mutual attraction (which will inevitabily lead to sex) family/kids religion fear of loneliness they are content (not happy, but not sad) with the current situation and are not really willing to rock the boat to see h…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 03:06 PM
3

the problem with the argument is that sex is an integral part of a relationship in this day and age and you want to exclude it?. It may not be the primary motivator, but it is in the top 3. The woman may be the best mother/wife, but if we have zero sexual compatibility, then the relationship is likely to fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 02:38 PM
3

Don't have sex with women who don't show enthusiastic consent honest question. how do you prove/disprove this in court? Even if consent is explicitly given, it is not in written form but in verbal form. This in in the context of "false accusations" and am not saying that women lying about giving consent is something that occurs often.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 07:19 AM
4

A lot of these rants (like the one in the OP) are truly written by malicious people or virgins. It's the only way I can explain the deranged and warped view emanating through every word The other option is that there are people that are in relationship where the household chores workloads are really disproportionate and will demand 50-50 because that quantifiable and can be somewhat be measured. But true, there are some people what have very unrealistic standards. Some time ago someone said that…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 09:40 AM
12

These things are better negotiated by each couple. My wife will never make 50% of the household income and she will never do 50% of repairs. And I will never do 50% of early infant care or 50% of housework. My arrangement works for me and my wife. But it doesn't work for everyone. It'd be wrong to encourage my arrangement as the norm. Equally wrong is to encourage a 60/40 arrangement as the norm. Especially on such a nonsensical (and quite frankly offensive and crazy) notion that it's "unfair" t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 09:11 AM
1

without looking at studies, even at a logical level it doesn't make sense to be a correlation. What difference would it make between having sex 1000 times with 100 people (AKA more promiscous) and having sex 1000 times with 1 person in terms of fertility?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 06:31 AM
7

how much of those murders are gang related? That is pretty much a male pseudo-monopoly which skews the stats in a "all-murders" statistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 03:11 PM
17

i am not saying it doesn't happen, it's just that it decreases the chances.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 03:04 PM
6

yeah, women are less likely than men to be attacked. But if I as a man get attacked at a gas station I have a somewhat small chance (better than a woman anyway) of putting up a fight and have a near zero percent chance of getting raped. I know it's probably a false sense of control, but it is there for men, but most women cannot really put up a real fight against most men .
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 03:02 PM
23

Every women talks about how dangerous it is to go to a gas station at night but will go and all female trip to Mexico at the height of when people are getting murdered there. This is a very bad example. The bigger the group (even if they are all women) the less likely someone is attacked/kidnapped. Men who attack women are less likely to be part of a group, so one man is not very likely to attack a woman part of a group.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 02:53 PM
1

what does "everyone else" mean? people without kids (so even young people at the start of their careers)? or tax rates will be higher once the "no-tax period" ends?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 02:23 PM
11

the problem I see is that the new generation will be raised away from parents. seeing your parent 1-2 hours/day (plus weekends) for a whole generation is not exactly encouraging.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 02:21 PM
1

it would be an interesting social experiment of no-income tax for X years for each child, but I think we all know it's not gonna happen. Such a measure will create such a budget deficit that nobody will be willing to support it and I don't think an increase in taxes in other areas to combat this deficit will be popular also
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 02:06 PM
46

i want to be proven wrong, but I don't think it will make much of a difference. I expect a slight uptick in fertility right, but nowhere near replacement level.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:16 PM
39

same here. I don't think anyone likes the chase, especially if you fail a lot. But, if you do find someone you are compatible with, it was all worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 11:20 AM
–

yeah, men don't actually actively protect much these days. In my 10+ years with my wife I have never had to actually protect her from anything. But she did say that I act more as deterrence from other men. When she goes out with just her female friends, they are more likely to be hit on (even though they are all married), but if even one of the husbands is present, other men don't really approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 07:44 AM
–

the title and the text don't really talk about love, but lust. Also you are talking only about the initial stages of the relationship where women do kinda have an upper hand. But once an actual relationship starts, the imbalance is much, much smaller.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 07:32 AM
5

I mean the statistic makes sense. nobody really thinks about marriage until 23. this doesn't mean they are not in serious relationship or don't put effort into them, but the actual marriage is not a priority. For those who finish high school (and don't go to college) it makes sense to marry earlier due to starting a career (or just having jobs) earlier and having a somewhat stable income. For those who go to college, 23 is mostly the start of the career, so they may just start being independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 08:59 AM
10

same here. real life is not the internet where you fill find more extreme opinions. Sure, people may not break platonic relationships with known cheaters, but nobody will say "way to go" to them either. I have also never hear "well, if you would have done X/Y/Z he/she wouldn't have cheated on you". In the case of cheating, in the vast, vast majority of cases the victim will get sympathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 11:55 AM
–

if you take chess as an example, i think having a women's section is about giving representation so that down the line more women join the sport and become good at it. If at this moment there was no women's section, little girls would literally see zero representation in top tournaments and would be even less likely to join a chess club. While, yes, I believe that mental sports should probably become uni-sex, just attracting more women into the sport is a much more realistic goal for the next fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:03 PM
–

When it comes to mental sports. I agree with your position and stance. chess has no "male section". there is an open section (where both men and women can compete), but men are the the top, and a women's section.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:43 PM
–

in a lot of sports, the men section is usually an "open" section meaning women can compete. But they don't due to obvious reasons: men being stronger and taller is such a great advantage in most sports that women can't really compete.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:35 PM
–

I think most people can understand the logic of "I want her to be with me because she wants to be with me, not because she needs/is forced to be with me". The problem isn't that the logic is flawed, the problem is that humans are complex with different and often times contradicting emotions. The problem is that frustrations of not being able to find a partner over long periods of time can override the logic mentioned above. Failing at such a basic desire (and seeing people around you that succee…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 08:14 AM
2

of course having more options will dictatate your decision making. But men being more "desparate" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy for future relationships. Entering a new relationship too fast after your current one ended is not always a good approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:44 PM
4

it should be obvious that relationship women will not be single for long periods of time. Doesn't mean they didn't have some short time relationships along the way, but their relationships are mostly LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:39 PM
3

In my social circle there are women who stayed single and didn't do anything sexual for 6+ months after getting out of LTRs. Doesn't mean that some men didn't hit on them when they found out they were single, but these women didn't reciprocate these intentions. Once they felt they were ready for a new relationship, they found a new LTR within 3 months.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:20 PM
39

cheating is always bad, period. You are not satisfied in a relationship? want to have sex with other people? Just break up and you can have all that. anyone who enters in a committed relationship knows there are limits for what is allowed in that relationship and 99.9% of the time cheating is not allowed. if you know you cannot keep yourself from having sex with other people, just be truthful and don't enter in that relationship. I don't know about you, but in my social circles (even when I was …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 10:53 AM
–

while I agree that dating a single mother as a man is not an ideal or preferred situation, part of being an adult is having a thick skin. If you like that single mom and the only reason you don't want to be in a relationship with her is due to social pressure/stigma, then you don't really have that thick of a skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 08:33 AM
1

yeah, it's hard at the start, but you get used to it over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 07:28 PM
1

yeah, but it takes a while to override that instinct.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 07:26 PM
1

as a married man, I just accept that sometimes (more often than my male friends) will just want to vent and I will just listen. Yes, it goes against all my instincts to not give a solution very fast, but as a husband you just learn over time that it's not the right moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 06:34 PM
–

with almost 50% of unmarried women reporting 1 partner, it does make sense that a lot of them are in some sort of committed relationship and they only have sex with said partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 05:37 AM
12

people use the word "equal" because that's more easily quantifiable in a reader's mind, but what they mean (or at least should mean) is "fair". Whatever your split in house work is, if one partner doesn't consider it fair, there is a good chance that in the medium-to-long term frustrations will gather and boil over. That is why it a good thing to live together for a couple of years before getting married. It's important to see if your ideas of "fair" are compatible with eachother before committi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 01:56 PM
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I don't think men will ever have as many options as women do, but being a socially active man, will get you a few good options throughout the years. Also, if you do get in a relationship, most women will at least try to make the relationship work and will not just throw you aside at the first mistake. Of course some relationship will just end and that is natural, you are not supposed to be compatible with everyone you try to be in a relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 11:58 AM
–

that is why i specifically said "on a macro scale".
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 11:22 AM
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i think everybody agrees that most people want a fulfilling relationship. i think the difference between men and women (on a macro scale) is the priority list: for men: fulfilling relationship > bad relationship > staying single for women: fulfilling relationship > staying single > bad relationship This difference in priorities is what causes a log of misunderstandings and friction when it comes to relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 07:45 AM
9

i really don't understand your line of thinking. Not sure you have a healthy view on relationships. Just being in a relationship there is some sort of expectations of sex. I could have just as well not suggested a vacation and we would still have had sex as usual. So, if sex was my only concern, we could have just stayed home, saved the money and we would still have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 06:19 PM
3

yeah, we were at the age where the term boyfriend/girlfriend was almost synonymous with "having sex". We were already having sex even without going on vacations and before I started my career (we were together for 1 year by the time I started working), so the vacation was not a payment (or incentive) for sex, it was a way to have some fun together in a different setting from our usual lives at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 06:12 PM
1

the thing is women are known to be more conscientious than men and that personality trait is very useful in the education system where sitting still and paying attention in class and then doing their homework (even if the subject is boring) will lead to better average scores in education. This basic structure of school/education hasn't changed much in the past 50+ years, so from what I read, women would have always been better suited for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 02:12 PM
1

but teacher don't design the education system, they apply it. From what I know (I am open to be corrected) the current education system is still designed around the prussian education system. And I don't think we can accuse the prussians of being part of some feminist conspiracy. Sure, most teachers (especially in early years) being women is a problem, but the design of the school system has always favored women, it's just that society put a lot of breaks on women and we just didn't realise that…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 02:02 PM
23

i don't see this as a relationship that can last. relationships require compromises and if you cannot find a compromise vacation where you are both having fun, that is just an incompatibility between you. She values the experience of the more expensive vacation, more than the experience of being with you in a less expensive vacation. I had a similar situation from the other side. I am two years older than my wife, we went to the same university, but since I am older I started my career two years…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 01:52 PM
1

in short, women and known to be more conscientious and I don't think there are many studies that disagree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 01:43 PM
2

from what I read, girls being better at learning in early years, levels out as men mature more, but the disadvantage men face during those years kinda has a snowball effect. So, by the time men reach college age, there are no major differences, but women score a higher GPA on average because the advantages they have while younger. I believe that's why for standardized tests (SAT) the scores are about the same for men and women, but for GPA, women have the advantage. I have read about possible so…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 01:25 PM
2

I once read something "funny" on the internet about the education system. The way we teach kids hasn't been changed that much in the last 100 years: you sit in a class, a teacher talk, you learn and then do your homework. It was a system designed by men and used mostly by men. The irony is that the system is better designed for women and it has always been so, but social expectations ("why do you need an education, you are gonna be a wife anyway") and financial ones (parents prioritized giving b…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 12:11 PM
1

isn't this a similar line of thinking as the male variability theory? if it is so, then you also missed the part where it's also easier for men "to fall through the cracks" and become total failures.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 11:49 AM
30

I think people need to accept that dating is the most "discriminatory" thing people do in their lives. But I am using quotes there because discriminating for what is a 1-to-1 relationship doesn't mean you discriminate against people you don't like for dating in other aspects of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 03:41 PM
3

every time this statistic is posted, the obvious argument is brought up: religion. People who have only 1 partner are far more likely to be highly religious and divorce is much more stigmatized in religious communities. I would really like this statistic to be split between degrees of religious "fervor".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 01:55 PM
3

from my experiences in the village my grandparents lived, there was a lot of victim blaming for women who got beaten. The phrase "she must have done something to deserve it" was something common said. And no, the village really didn't care; it was not something that was endorsed, but nobody was shunned for it either. Basically it was something that was accepted that happened from time to time. I didn't spend much time in that village, but every summer I heard from various fellow kids of instance…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 09:11 AM
12

I don't believe that 'wife beating' was a common morning routine for vast majority of households it may have not been a "standard morning routine", but it was way more common than it is today. Behaviors are dictated by consequences of said behaviors. Basically, today men know that beating your wife will result in police being called on you and your wife probably leaving you. In the past, the consequences of violence against your wife were almost non-existent (she wasn't really going to leave you…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 07:43 AM
27

i think one of the most important takeaways from this is the the toll pregnancies take on women. I think even today, women's progress in terms of economical and political power couldn't have been made without proper birth control.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 07:03 AM
–

i guess it depends on the field you are studying for. Not all degrees are created equal and with equal difficulty and time commitment requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 05:14 PM
2

just the random thought of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 08:21 AM
1

yeah, I also mostly ignore it, but it still rubs me the wrong way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 07:28 AM
1

Not sure if I am the only one, but it gets to me when someone uses in a post "men" and "females" (or the other way around "males" and "women"). It just feels off to me. For me, the consistent use is: male/female, man/woman, boy/girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 06:57 AM
7

considering I was single for large periods of time in my younger years, I would say probably not. In terms of looks I am average (but I am tall), in terms of money I make good money now (but met my wife when we were both broke college students) and in terms of personality I am an "acquired taste".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 03:37 PM
1

the problem is that by the nature of relationship oriented people, you are less likely to meet them as time goes on. The reason should be obvious. relationship oriented people are off-the-market for large periods of time so you have very few chances of meeting one that is single.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 03:33 PM
43

dude, you provide no evidence. Just read your post again: "Every time this gets brought up, women insist this is some girl code" VS "Yet men know better". so you deny the experience of women entirely and then as evidence against this you do "men know better". I am all for debate on this sub, but this is a very weak starting point.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 02:33 PM
18

oh, he is realistic and know long term relationships don't have the new relationship energy continuously. As I said,he is just addicted to that energy and as with any addiction (even an emotional one as this) is that you can't always rationalize to get over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 02:06 PM
45

The correct answer (as with a lot of other questions) is depends. I have talked about this before, but I have a cousin who is very successful on tinder and once (drunkenly) admitted that he envies me and my relationship to my wife and that we can keep the relationship going for so long. He is basically addicted to the adrenalin and energy of a new relationship and once those wear off, the relationship quickly falls apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 12:16 PM
34

i don't think you will find many reasonable people who don't agree that a loving family is the best. You will always find extreme opinions online, but they are not a majority IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:53 AM
1

how many children must a woman have for it to be considered a "legitimate career choice"?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:45 AM
96

i think everybody who is a reasonable person agrees to this. But then comes the second problem: we are human and we don't always do "what's best". We also agree that children have a bad time being raised in dysfunctional families, but that doesn't stop people from forming and being such families.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:20 AM
12

i think you got it backwards. a lot of men become obsessed after their lack of success. Constant failure in something you truly desire (in this case women) is bound to leave some emotional damage.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 02:37 PM
32

Not even the mgtow guys can fully forget women. i think this is pretty much the best example. if even men who claim to be "going their own way" are still obsessed enough about women to post vitriolic memes online about women, you can realise how much sway women hold over men. is this a weakness for men? true. is it also a great motivator (up to a point)? also true
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 10:08 AM
13

i think the added part of "stringing along" is important though. if the guy made it clear he is not interested in a serious relationship (with her or at all), a lot of situationships would not happen at all. Of course most men would not admit that as it doesn't bring the any advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:27 PM
11

i always wondered how many such relationship would end if it was made more clear that there is only a 1% chance this would turn into a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 01:20 PM
2

just look outside. you see people in relationships every day where the man is not what you would describe as a "chad" and those women are satisfied with their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 12:54 PM
4

this is a clear sign of paranoia. as @DarayRaven says, women are also realists and will not throw away a satisfying relationship that easily. You should be careful with your paranoia as it may become a self fulfilling prophecy where it is this exact paranoia that will drive a woman away.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 12:49 PM
14

my social circle is made up of mostly upper-middle-class people (engineers, doctors etc). So generally careers that are considered "hard" and people managed to balance their own careers and the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 08:17 PM
24

When you're a young man focusing on developing your career and other long term goals, it isn't hard to see how that can happen. Never understood how focusing on your career prevents you from being in a relationship. In my social circle everybody met their long term partner in college or shortly after college and they were together while both were developing their own career.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 06:26 PM
4

the problem is that it's not gonna work in "open communities" as in big cities. for shaming to work it needs smaller communities because you can't really escape the shaming if stuff ever gets out. What will happen is that women who want to sleep around will still do so and just not tell anyone. Having sex with men that are not part of the "community" will result in fewer chances of such action being found out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 08:47 PM
10

that's why people should live together for some time before marriage. the "what do you bring to the table" is still asked but in a more practical way as in "can we live together with what each of us brings to the table?"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 02:56 PM
2

it depends on how intertwined your lives become after marriage. I think most people still marry with the hope that they will be together forever, but at the end of the day, divorce exists and there is no longer much stigma around divorce.The less intertwined your lives are (finances, buying properties together) the easier it is to divorce. I lived with my GF for about 3 years before getting married and the only thing that actually changes once we got married was that we decided to merged our fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 08:30 PM
18

the thin line between the two is how much social pressure/shaming there is to say YES. sure technically you are not forced, but we know how social pressure works.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:46 PM
10

yeah, same here. my highschool self really didn't know any better. A hormone induced high is nice, but love is what lies beyond that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:45 PM
–

living in fear (of anything, not just dating/women) every day is not a healthy way to live. most people just don't think about dating like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 09:41 AM
9

but when we are drunk we are known to make bad decisions, the most obvious example being drunk driving. but my example is still valid, a person may be just as horny drunk vs not-drunk, the difference is just how you act on this desire. If you ask me, the most obvious sign of sexual desire is shown long term, when people still enjoy having sex with eachother (and both initiate it) even after a lot of time has passed in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 01:58 PM
17

but that doesn't exclude women feeling sexual attraction to other men they don't sleep with on first date. it's just that the conscious part of the brain (inhibitions) tells her it's not exactly a good idea. Alcohol doesn't show us our true selves, makes us bypass parts of our brains that are there for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 01:48 PM
15

the problem is how do you quantify "better" in relationships. Sure, people used to stay together more, but that is not exactly a good metric to determine how good a relationship is. People just stayed together even if they were not happy or lost feelings towards eachother.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 01:28 PM
3

in case of casual sex, you literally only have looks and initial chemistry to make a decision. Those feelings are nice and all, but they don't really tell you how good a LTR with that person would be. it makes perfect sense for a short term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 12:07 PM
2

similar stuff here with my wife. It's sometimes stuff that is so random that if you ask us what we talked about one day ago we would both go... "stuff?!?" because it was not something meaningful or very memorable, but funny/important in that moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 05:58 PM
–

I think we are not that far removed from times that happened. Women today may still have mothers/grandmothers who had to live times when it was way harder to be a woman (for no other reason than that they were women). I think men should also complain more about drafting to war, but most men in the western world live with the hope (or maybe delusion) that a war where the draft is needed is not gonna happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 01:38 PM
–

i think the number of single moms is still low considering the amount of sex had. this speaks volumes to how effective different forms of birth control are. basically sex outside of marriage has become normalized and most people actually manage to NOT have a child having sex outside marriage. But people make mistakes, it just happens that mistakes in sex result in children. It depends how one becomes a single mother. It can happen by just having sex, getting pregnant and one (or both) partner no…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 09:17 AM
–

I don't think most women actively choose to be single moms. Everyone knows that being a single mom makes your life very hard, both in terms of financials and future dating prospects. I think people in general make bad choices in life, relationships included, and due to biology (only women can give birth) women are more likely to be stuck with the consequences (the child). In a hypothetical world where both men and women could give birth, the percentage of single fathers and mothers would probabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:42 AM
–

In an ideal world, there would be more cooperation. Unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world and know that "better safe than sorry" it's a much safer mindset. Nobody advocates for actively distrusting your partner (or being paranoid about it), but we all know that if shit happens (and it does happen more than we would like it to happen) it's good to be able to function as an adult on your own. In short, we live in the real world and that requires realistic solutions and approaches.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:28 AM
–

it's a safety net. it's like when we save money "just in case". We hope to never have to use it, but if it does happen it's better to have it because if you don't have it you are in big trouble. Both me and my wife make more than enough to have a confortable lifestyle on our own. We don't need eachother in terms of financial stability or confort, but us being together brings spiritual hapiness, but also add to our comfort. In a good relationship, splitting responsabilities and tasks does help bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:23 AM
6

yeah i get it, it doesn't really help my wife either; for her "blowing off steam" is mostly talking. That's why I said, i am not sure if it nature or nurture.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 08:57 AM
8

i don't know about others, but when I am upset/angry it is more cathartic to just do "something" than talk. that something may sometimes be walking/running, punching a tree, screaming etc. Basically that way i let off steam and that allows me to focus on solving whatever upsets me. I am not exactly sure if it's nature or nurture, but talking doesn't quite let off as much steam as doing "something".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 08:47 AM
0

you miss another problem: humans are greedy. even if one income is enough, people will naturally realize that two are better and then the rules of supply and demand will take over and a "good living" standard will be priced for two incomes. basically, two incomes will always provide a better lifestyle and those on 1 income will not be content and want the same lifestyle and will require two incomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 07:37 AM
15

the problem is that it's really hard to make it happen. it doesn't matter that one income is enough, 2 incomes will always be better because (on average) it will double the family income. as long as we use money to buy goods and services, two incomes will always provide more opportunities to buy those goods and services.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:46 PM
38

because people are realistic and know to read statistics. very few men earn enough to provide "every need" on one income.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 04:13 PM
15

or the more realistic option (for both genders) is to be in a relationships people can reach a consensus on decisions. Nobody is good at everything and will not take good decisions in every area.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 11:58 PM
7

However, being drunk doesn’t excuse violent crimes such as sexual assault or rape. I live in a european country where drinking is legal from 18 years old so everybody in college can legally drink anything. and still, being drunk is not really a good excuse to harass, sexually harass or (god forbid) rape someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 05:09 PM
–

that is why I put quotes around the word "slave".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:31 PM
–

kids in general are kinda "slaves" to their parents. for a long time they have no power (for obvious reasons) over the decisions that are taken that impact them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 03:04 PM
18

for the longest time, the "how many kids do you want?" question made little sense on a macro scale. People had sex and kids naturally appeared. No matter how careful you were, you were bound to screw up a couple of times. But, in modern societies, we kinda broke the link between sex and kinds. Sure, kids are still the result of sex, but due to birth control (in its various forms) made us be able to have similar quantity of sex, but without having kids. Nature made a "mistake" in our evolution: i…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 02:58 PM
24

the problem with dating in religious communities (if you are not religious yourself) is that you must "drink the kool-aid" of that religion. Faking it long term may be quite good for your mental health.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 01:33 PM
3

but being distracted and not putting effort in something is a sign of lack of emotional maturity. In terms of physical maturity, girls still develop faster (i think girls can become pregnant earlier than boys can produce viable sperm). The difference in "horniness" is not physical or emotional maturity, but testosterone vs estrogen.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:49 AM
5

from what I read, girls outperform boys in school in terms of GPA , but for standardized tests it's about the same. When I was in highschool (15 years ago) i observed something similar. Girls were more consistent on how good they were at different classes, but boy's grades swung more wildly depending on class.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:42 AM
53

it is a biological fact that women develop their prefrontal cortex faster. So throughout childhood and adolescence, women are about 1 year more mature (in terms of brain development) than men. but from going to "women develop slightly faster" to "women are as mature as men 10 years older" is just delusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 11:16 AM
14

i don't think there is really a really defined type because such relationships are not that common for a type to really form. Do i know some age-gap relationships? sure, but compared to relationships where the partners are of similar ages, they are very rare. I think the phrase "age gap relationships are more rare than men would want to happen, but happen more than women like to admit" described the situation quite well. Due to this fact, your average 35 year old man is somewhat unlikely to cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 07:29 PM
2

sometimes people ignore stats that don't subscribe to their world view. For example, age gap marriage and divorce rate. With a reference point of married people of the same age, a marriage with a gap of 10 years is 40% more likely to end in divorce than the reference point. Source I always hate the hypocrisy here. Men complain that promiscous women make bad long term partners, but so do people much older/younger that you, but people ignore this statistic because it contradicts their world view.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 01:16 PM
4

i really want to know the world view of those 25% of men who want their spouse to be financially dependent on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:07 AM
–

most people (and yes, that includes men) don't feel a duty to anything to anyone two layers of separation from their own person. So, most people will care about their own person, their family and close friends, but the further you are from this inner circle, the less people care.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 07:34 AM
8

another interesting statistic would be "active users". I am an instagram user, but open it weekly at most and haven't posted anything in years.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 06:58 AM
–

how detailed is "lore"? i know some details about their childhood, how they met, but never cared much about more details.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 06:54 AM
6

I never really understood this whole "I am focusing on my education/career, so I don't have time to date" mentality. A good partner is not going to hinder you in any of those. I met my wife in college and I don't think I really once thought "wow, if I was single all these years, I would have been so much further in my studies/career".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 08:42 AM
10

before getting married, we each had our finances separate, but we had a joint account where we both contributed equally and from where we paid for utilities, food, fun etc. After marriage we unified all of our finances. We both work full time, we make about the same anually and we both make very good money (for where we live).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 02:13 PM
4

i think this is the best answer. Malice usually requires intent to do something bad (and no, people refusing to be in a relationship with you is not done out of malice). Selfishness is a much better word.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 02:10 PM
3

true, that's why i mentioned both technological challenges as well as societal prejudices. I am not saying it won't happen eventually, I just don't see it happening very soon; maybe 50 years is too long, but it will take 25 years for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 03:00 PM
1

relationships and sex are kinda both (personal fulfillment and status symbol). even you as a person don't intend it to be a status symbol, it just kinda is perceived as such by other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 02:58 PM
5

you are missing the main point. sex is not just about physical feelings, but also social validation. Basically, if you talk about having a sex or a "relationship" with a sex bot, people will look strange at you. I still don't understand how a sex bot is different from masturbation or a sex toy. Social validation of relationship and sex is about the fact that it is had with a person who willingly does that with you, and thus has the power to say NO. Also, when I said 50 years, I meant about sex b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 12:44 PM
4

sex robots who look indistinguashable from humans are really far away, at least 50 years or so. Also, society will not really look favorably on people using such sex robots; people using sex robots may feel better, but the illusion will break instantly when you go out and can't really talk about your sex robot as a real relationship. So, between technical challenges and societal acceptance, i don't think people living today will actually be alive to see the day that having a relationship with a …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 12:00 PM
11

but that was always my point, age gap relationships are not a red-flag for most reasonable people, but they are kinda an automatic yellow flag for a lot, that's why they usually require that discussion/"intervention". And after that discussion, everybody considers they have done their duty (after all, people are adults) and go back to not really caring.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 01:53 PM
13

i only know of only one age-gap relationship that is 7+ years in difference. The woman was younger and a couple of her (female) friends had a discussion with her about it. it was a one time thing, they made sure everything was ok and left it at that. I mean, those friends cared about her and after those discussions nobody bothered her anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 01:20 PM
21

IRL nobody will try to break up people who are in age gap relationships (of course, we assume consenting adults). But what does happen is showing concern for the younger party, like taking them to a 1-on-1 discussion to make sure they are ok, they are not pressured in any way etc
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 12:01 PM
5

it's not an automatic red-flag for me, but it is a yellow one for sure. Nobody reasonable will try to break them up, but instead will probably had a 1-on-1 task talk with the younger person to make sure they are ok. Whether it's warranted or not, large age-gap relationship do have a bad reputation. Combine that with how relatively rare they are, it kinda becomes an automatic yellow-flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 01:07 PM
5

i still want a link. The problem is that some studies fall victim to selection bias. Basically, paternity tests tend to be done by people who have some sort of suspicion (or insecurity) about paternity. Basically it's not a random sample, but 10% of test done for men actively seeking such tests.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 12:16 PM
8

any link to the statistic about the 10% of men who unknowingly raise a child that is not theirs?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 11:48 AM
5

as people age, they become more defined individuals, with likes and dislikes. And as this progresses, people can make less and less big changes about themselves. the thing about relationships is that you must live with that person everyday so if being in that relationship requires a person to become something they are not or do something they don't really like (every single day), that can lead to resentment over time and breakups. that doesn't mean smaller changes of compromises cannot happen, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 08:19 AM
7

the thing is that in modern society (in the west as least), provisioning and protection are not really that important. In the last 13 years I have been in a relationship with my now wife, I can count on 1 finger the times i really had to protect her, and it wasn't from other people, but from a pack of dogs. Sure, I admit that most of the time my simple presence is possibly enough of a deterrence for people to try something, but it doesn't change the fact that we live in a safe society. As for pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 11:21 AM
20

you misunderstand my point. public education is still needed as needed as most parents don't have time or knowledge to properly educate their kids on their own. What I was trying to say is that people being force to actually raise (as in live in the same house) with children they don't want may cause issues. They may not be as interested in their education, physical health etc of these children as they would be in the children they actually wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 08:06 AM
27

The thing is, countries want productive members. Women (and men for that matter) being forced for raise children they don't want on a large scale may not end in the results governments want. Sure, you will have more people, but the if these children are not raised well, it will cause other issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 07:46 AM
3

i think compatibility is something that people ignore. When I met my wife, I didn't do anything different with her than any other failed dating attempts, but since we were compatible, everything I did just worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 07:24 AM
–

even I as a man would NOT appreciate a male friend I went out with to grab a beer to just ditch me because he met some some chick. Of course my above scenario assumes the main purpose of us going out would be to talk (not hook-ups) and catch-up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:14 PM
–

i don't know. anything that would indicate that that her friend taking her away upset her, any sign/word to you that she intended to come back to talk to you etc. Stuff like this is highly subjective. that's why, if you take your story exactly as you wrote it, your interpretation of it is just as likely as mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:11 PM
–

if the woman who was talking to you didn't put up any resistance to being taken away or came back after some time, that could also be a "silent answer". That's the problem with these kinds of stories, we never know the true reason. There is as much chance that your explanation is right as there is for my explanation to be right.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 01:05 PM
1

depends on your definition of "commitment" . if by "committing" you mean marriage, then it's good that sex before marriage is acceptable. I have been in the same relationship since my early 20s (now married to the same woman), but waiting to get married to have sex sound like such a bad idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 02:09 PM
–

not really happy with either, but if I had to choose, i would choose thot daughter.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 07:18 PM
5

intelligence in its raw form (just knowing lots of stuff) is just not fun. Intelligence filtered through other social skills will get you lots of bonus points.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 06:06 PM
4

I also think it's worth mentioning that the larger the age gap, the bigger the chances of a divorce of divorce is. If your strategy as a man is to wait until 35 and then find a relationship with a 25 yo woman, the pool of women who are attracted to men that age is smaller and also the chances of a long relationship are lower. In short, it's a bad strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 02:07 PM
–

but that can be applied to a lot of things. We live in a society and functional adults know that they cannot always tell the truth about everything. We all are subject to societal and peer pressure. The society we live in would break down really fast if suddenly nobody could lie (even white lies) anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 10:31 AM
6

but you won't really see this in statistics, because most of them will not actually marry (that) young. They will be in stable relationships from their early 20s, but marry in their mid-to-late 20s. So from a statistics point of view they didn't marry young, but their relationship has been building to that marriage for some time now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 06:16 PM
–

it's completely normal to have sex with your girlfriend, but if a guy wants to have sex with another animal then suddenly that's consider "weird". Crazy society we live in.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 08:13 PM
36

in the past, you basically had almost nothing to do in terms of "fun" if you stayed inside the house, so people naturally got out more. Now, the internet, is a bottomless pit of "fun" so the incentive to go out is less present.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:42 PM
19

of course, as people grow older, other responsibilities start taking priority (relationship with your GF/wife, job, kids etc), but a man having zero friends (even male ones) is a failure on their part. Sure, I don't hang out with people as much as I did in college, but we still talk online and organize outings from time to time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:40 PM
69

my problem with this whole thing is that men also drop other male friends, where status/looks matters less. I am not saying that man-to-man relationships are a full solution, when men complain they have no friends, even male ones, that's a point where men could help other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:02 PM
5

your way of doing things doesn't solve the number one problem women face when looking for a LTR: separating relationship oriented men from those who just want a fling.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 04:49 PM
–

there are a few things to consider: imperfect information: you have no real way of determining what kind of person anyone is. Basically, you cannot look at a woman (or man for that matter) and say for sure if she is relationship material or not attraction still counts. even if you find such a person, they must still like you and you like them back not everybody is available. as time goes on, relationship type people tend to pair off and they are basically off-the-market so people who are still s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 12:04 PM
2

yeah, teenagers were told this, but when were teenagers ever known to actually listen to their parents or make only good decisions?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 10:31 PM
3

you want people to be fully logical creatures, but we know that's impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 10:03 PM
29

i think it's because for women, getting sex is easy, but getting good sex is more difficult. In most circumstances, sex improves over time with a stable partner (that is somewhat sexually compatible with you) as you learn what eachother likes and dislikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:57 AM
–

what if it's true? there is nothing wrong with shy guys can be true, but at the same time their shyness might not mesh well their her own personality so they are not a dating target. It's the same as "there is nothing wrong with being a burger flipper at mcdonalds" and at the same time saying "I don't want my child to be a burger flipper at mcdonalds".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:25 AM
8

wow you discovered that women are not a monolith and things that may work on some women doesn't work on others and viceversa. That's why you must understand how the meeting/conversation goes and adapt (and even give up) to the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 01:31 PM
3

the illusion will break the moment these people will go out into the real world and others will look strange at him if they mention this "AI relationship".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 06:12 PM
5

yeah, but when you go out in society and people will look strange at you when you mention your "AI relationship", thoughts of not fitting in will still come.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 06:10 PM
1

depends on the person. Even if the opportunity cost (in terms of money) isn't very high, staying home to raise a small child can become mind-numbing. The women I work with who stayed at home (for 1-2 years) to raise they children complained that they were basically alone, with zero adult interaction. Husband was at work, friends were at work, neighbours were at work etc; basically it was just her, the small schild and menial chores for the entire day, which gets old really fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 08:47 AM
4

fair enough. Still, my point about selection bias still stands. you only hear about the most egregious cases, and you don't hear about the other 99+% of cases where nothing actually happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 08:23 AM
16

the problem is also selection bias. You only hear about the most extreme cases. I also know of one case, where a guy got a little tipsy (but not drunk) and tried hitting on a girl from HR at the company christmas party and just kept insisting even after he was told "NO" a few times. Other guys had to intervene and basically throw him out of the party because he wouldn't stop. To be fair, the guy was a weirdo and couldn't see social/vocal cues. Also, who hits on girls how HR? it's like the worst …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 08:07 AM
3

i think the problem is that now we are exposed (through social media) to lives of others and we can't help ourselves but compare yourself to others. I have maybe 300 "friends" of different social media platforms, and with 90% of them I haven't talked with in years. I still see what people I knew in highschool are doing, what they are visiting, what their relationship status is etc. 20+ years ago, you just didn't know what these people were doing once you lost contact.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 09:50 AM
–

yes, for me asking about her job/career it's also one of the first questions that come up right along side "how did you meet?". It's just basic information about a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 08:02 AM
9

this is my personal opinion based on my own observations. in terms of raw sex numbers, things will look good because most sex is had in (somewhat) stable and long-term relationships. But when it comes to casual sex, the numbers tell a different story. Basically, a lot of men are kinda "forced" to be in a relationship if they want to get regular sex, even if they are not really the relationship type. The most attractive men are able to decide for themselves if they want to be in a relationship an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:23 PM
19

From women I work with that took 1-2 years of leave to raise a child, they all complained that they were feeling their neurons die. They had almost zero adult interaction during the day (husband was at work, friends were at work, neighbours were at work etc) and the work with the child was menial. Basically, if you don't have a proper support groups while being at home with the child, it's really boring medium-to-long term
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 11:28 AM
52

i think it becomes easier for men in their 30s compared to men in their 20 and harder for women in their 30s compared to women in their 20s. But if you compare men in their 30s to women in their 30s, I still believe it's easier for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 06:33 AM
22

it sometimes becomes a turn-off, as in "I don't want to waste my time with this guy". I have had female friends ask me if a certain guy (who is good looking) is single and I said yes, but he is not really the "relationship type" and they stopped pursuing him. Of course there are some women who believe they are the solution and that guy will certainly settle with them, but other women are realistic and don't pursue men who they know/believe is not the "relationship type".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 09:55 AM
6

Money greases the emotional wheels for a healthy relationship Yeah, this is what people sometimes overlook. Money may not always bring happiness, but it sure does eliminate a lot of sources of unhappiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 07:21 AM
1

The problem is we are starting to interfere with natural selection due to advancements in medicine. All those people who would have died of some random disease are now living in relative comfort until 70+ years. effects of natural selection are not really visible to us because it can take a few generations to be observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:30 AM
22

in real life, nobody is realistically preventing anyone from forming any kind of relationship with an age-gap (of course, we assume the persons involved are adults). But, at the same time, these kinds of relationships are by default yellow flags and people tend to want to make sure that people they care about are ok. A college classmate of mine (woman) is in a age-gap (8 year difference) relationship and has been for 8+ years now. When she entered that relationship, her female friends pulled her…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 07:39 AM
3

probably not, but being forced to eat food I don't like every day would sure as hell affect my mental health. Different people have different tolerances to bad shit that happens in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 06:24 PM
3

not the original poster, but if you ask me it's like eating delicious food. Sure, you can survive no problem on tasteless/bland food, but you would get a lot more satisfaction and live a better life out of eating good food that I enjoy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 06:02 PM
1

I think you are also missing something, people can be confident in other things, not just dating. Basically, if you get a date and talk about one of your passions, that confidence and energy when talking gets transmitted to the person you are talking to. Of course, the subject of your confidence and energy should also be relatable to your conversation partner: your (hypothetical) passion of collecting sex videos will most like result in a "EWWW" reaction, not admiration.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:55 AM
–

I think more men are CEOs also because men take more risks in general. You only hear about companies that "made it", but for every company that did, there are 100 that failed and you never hear about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:35 AM
21

for us, basically nothing would change. We both work in IT and since the pandemic we basically worked from home and the companies we work for have continues to allow us to work from home even now.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 11:50 AM
5

different people like different things. I think the best way to put it is "it should feel natural/effortless". I mean, you do need to put work in a relationship, but that work is not something you should hate/resent to do. Change/compromises are needed, but in a good relationships nobody should become a totally different person for the sake of their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:12 PM
–

the problem with TV is that it needs drama to "move the plot forward". So it generally skips all the "friendship turned into relationship and they stayed together for 3+ years" because that kind of relationships is not "good television".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 02:12 PM
3

i have never heard it as "with similar traits", but more "with similar interests". Long term, relationships require effort and that effort becomes really big if you are with someone who is not compatible with youl
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 06:10 PM
2

a few days ago there was a post about male "bread winners" and the less educated people got, the more men used to be the sole money earner or just made more money then their woman partner. My won theory is that at the lower end of the education ladder, men have a very big advantage of potential careers due to their physical strength. On the other hand, women have less options so, if they want to earn more money, college is a much more tempting option for women than for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 10:00 PM
2

one think this graph also show is why education is important to women. The more education a woman has, the more egalitarian the relationship becomes. The problem is that men get a lot more opportunities for jobs down the ladder due to jobs that require physical strength and pay somewhat.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 07:05 AM
2

most people self-segregate into groups of similar values, income and (of course) age. So, most social circles follow the same rule and that usually results in meeting people much older/younger something rarer. And in turn that results in most people being in relationships with people of similar values, income and age. I am in my early 30s and in order to meet someone in their early 20s I would have to really go out of my way especially in a "dating appropriate" setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 06:52 AM
9

I still think this applies to the extended family, but not talking politics or religion with my wife would be so weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 08:00 PM
4

i think it also depends on how "argumentative" each person is. different points of view can work, but each person needs to learn when to "let go". Look I am not a religious person, but I know and respect (and they me) people who are very religious. but that respect is built on the fact that they don't try to "convert me" and I don't try "to dunk" on their religion. But this is a case by case basis and I have met a lot more "asshole" very religious people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 07:26 PM
3

people give compromises a bad reputation. you can call them "trade offs", but they are pretty much the same thing in my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 07:17 PM
12

life is made out of compromises, you just have to make the compromises you can live with. The thing is, some people are too young to realise the effort that having a career and other hobbies, project and even kids entails. and then reality hits them in the face and some people just don't know how to deal with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 05:38 PM
–

being subtle about your crimes is the best way to keep yourself out of prison. The problem with trump is his constant need to boast and make himself the center of the universe.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 10:45 AM
–

you are ignoring the most obvious difference: one can be more easily noticed and judged by society (the age difference) while the other is basically "invisible" (you are not wearing a t-shirt saying "i am inexperienced and my partner is very experienced")
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 08:40 PM
1

just life in college for me. Sure, the most handsome men had the most casual sex, the subset of women who engaged in consistent casual sex was also a minority. Most women were NOT jumping from one men to the next every month, they were entering relationships with all kinds of men (no just the most handsome), and if things didn't work out in the next months/years they tried again. Also, average looking dudes may not have gotten much casual sex, but they were having sex, just in actual relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 01:45 PM
21

your view point is inconsistent. you said "high earning women are unattractive", but you know women in the same college as you will become high earning and thus unattractive. Your whole viewpoint is "I want a young woman" and everything else is reasoning to justify your view point. if you find a woman in your university she will: become high earner as well which you find unattractive will age (of course) and become more demanding which you also find unattractive. This whole post seems very immat…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 01:31 PM
15

hope you do know that the highest chances of meeting a woman in university is from the same university you are studying so she will have similar earning potential as you. I work in IT and so does my wife (we met in university) and I can tell you that having two good incomes in a family is a very good way to lead a comfortable life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 01:14 PM
20

Women I’ll be around after my university degree are gonna be older, less attractive and more demanding you do know if you do find a partner, they will get older, less attractive and possibly more demanding right? I had good grades in school and what I’m gonna study after is gonna be a very lucrative field. And? don't get how this is relevant. you can find a woman who works in your field (or another well paid field) after graduating also. Most of the women I’ve dated the past two years have been …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 12:55 PM
6

as with anything, on an individual level we each have our own experiences, but on a macro level the statistics are what they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 12:44 PM
–

people in their early 20s are adults, but they are still immature compared to early 30s. They may be treated the same in front of the law, but in the eyes of the public they are not treated the same (due to said difference in maturity). In my early 20s I was in college and while we were not some degenerated, we were all still figuring out ourselves. I made more mistakes, learned from them and it was expected to make those mistakes. Now, in my early 30s, it is expected to "know better" and am a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 07:35 AM
23

the problem is that the larger the age-gap, the more chances a marriage ends up in divorce. To the surprise of noone the least amount of divorce happens in relationships with a 0-2 age gap. at 5 years difference the chance of divorce is 20% higher than the 0-2 age gap range and at 10 year difference the chance is 40-45% higher than the 0-2 range. People here complain that promiscuous people make bad long term partners, but so do people much older/younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 07:21 AM
–

there are a few differences in your scenario that will cause the shaming to happen: people in their 20s are expected to be more immature than people in their 30s (when they are expected to be married). So we judge people harsher in their 30s than in their 20s people are judged more harshly from separating from their spouses than from they bf/gf I may not shame people who break up for frivolous reasons, but I will 100% judge them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 07:08 AM
63

sex is like money: "it's not important when you have it, but when you don't have it it becomes the most important thing"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 06:05 PM
1

well, we are all mostly going in our early 30s so dar an no divorce in sight so far.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 04:54 PM
7

i told this story before, but a female friend of my wife became single after a 6 year relationship. For about 6 months she was not interested in dating at all, and when she wanted to look for someone, she got together with a friend of a friend within 1 month. By all metrics she is "marriage material", but to have had a chance with her you had to be in her social group and single within that month where she was looking for something new.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 04:07 PM
10

in my social circle, couple that are together since highschool are very, very rare, but most found partners in university or shortly after. Hell, even a "chad" that I know had lots of fun while he was in university, just settled down after graduating. Basically, most relationship oriented women are off the market really really fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 04:00 PM
17

they are not that rare, but they usually get paired up early, get broken up rarely and when they are single again they are hard find. In my social group, almost everyone married the person they were in a relationship with somewhere around 23-24.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 03:47 PM
6

my personal theory is that for most history, a lot of children were not really wanted. people desired sex and children were a natural consequence of sex as we couldn't really control fertility. Sure, people could just not have sex, but that's not a realistic solution. What changed is that people still desire sex, but now we have birth control so we can have lots of sex without a child ever appearing. But for proper birth control use (for both genders) you require a (good enough) educated populat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 11:56 AM
–

you misunderstood my point. to "fix" the double standard, why not have men put more value in women with higher number of sexual partners? You are trying to "fix" the double standard from the perspective of men and I was just giving a scenario where you can fix it from the perspective of women. Of course this whole discussion is moot as this double standard will stay for a long time, but it's a fun discussion point.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 10:26 PM
7

As others have said, you are seeing the end result, less/no sexual desire, but you don't know the story behind that end result. Maybe the had sex like rabbits for the first years and then things gradually slowed down. By not knowing the entire story over the course of the entire relationship and only looking at the end result you may draw bad conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 10:22 PM
–

the problem with your argument is that you assume the men's perspective (shunning/calling out female whore) is the correct ones. You never argued why the other part of the double standard (women having no problem with male whores) is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 10:17 PM
59

basically this. Some people fail to understand that the real relationship starts after the honeymoon phase is over. The real tests of any relationship are when stuff (sometimes minor, otherwise major) starts to not be "perfect" or clouded by the hormones/energy of the honeymoon phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 09:41 PM
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My wife works in the same field as me (software engineering) which is, as you all know, a male dominated field (about 33% are women here). The thing is most women who I know that work in this field are in relationships with guys who who also work in the field. Basically they all met in college or shortly after college and have been together since. I think both of us having analytic tendencies has helped us in our relationship. Sure, conflicts have appeared in out relationship (as in any relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 11:57 AM
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usually, in any given social circle people have 1 or max 2 chances to date within said circle, after that they may get some bad labels. What also happens is that people date outside said circle and then bring their partner within the circle. From the outside it may look the same as "dating within social circle" but it's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 07:04 PM
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You don't try to break into existing social circles, you try to form new circles centered around activities that other people people may join. Of course doing these activities just for the sake of finding a partner is going to be difficult and (probably) costly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 06:57 PM
30

I hate the word "equal" cause it gets misunderstood here. The better word is "fair". My wife and I are not equal, but we are fair to eachother. We split work in a way that suits each of us, we don't keep tabs on how much work each person does as long as the work gets done at the end of the day and none of us feel overworked/taken advantage of.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 06:55 AM
3

It is subjective, but for me it's having sex with 3+ different people in a single year and having this consistency over multiple years
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 04:45 PM
50

married man here. I don't trust other men, but I trust my wife and that is a foundational building block of any successful relationship. If she wanted to cheat she could find a man to cheat no matter how she is dressed. I told this story before but my wife and one of her female friends were at a bar/pub, both wearing normal clothes and both wearing their wedding rings. It still didn't stop a man from hitting on them and he didn't actually stop when both told him they were married. Sure, if my wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:35 PM
5

but that doesn't stop the person from actually feeling miserable. sure it may not always be their fault, but to some living alone in a world where they see happy couple every day will still cause them mental anguish.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:25 PM
23

there is a difference between "wanting" and "expecting". I want to become a billionaire, but I am realistic and don't really expect to be one. Same with casual sex, most men are realistic and know they will probably never get consistent casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:17 PM
16

you wrote all this and you didn't actually give any actual solution to the obvious problem.... how are you gonna force another person to love you in a romantic way? If you have no practical solution, then the whole discussion is moot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:13 PM
7

a successful relationship requires compromises. Neither party always gets what they want, but make compromises they can live with. applying a "my word is law and I don't care what you think about this" mentality will lead to an unhappy relationship real fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 02:47 PM
6

this is what some people don't understand. LTRs are not the intense hormone filled honeymoon phase of the relationship. Love is a much more calm (but still constant) feeling, but that still brings joy when you are together.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 01:24 PM
4

you didn't answer the question. I was asking about how "real" (in your opinion) was the love (from X to Y) in the above scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 12:49 PM
6

I want to understand your point of view. If X loves Y, but Y cheats on X. If X leaves Y (for obvious reasons) was the love not real?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 12:37 PM
3

i think the two are related. without birth control, women would not have been able to enter the workforce (especially in higher paying jobs) with the numbers they have today.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:59 PM
2

we cannot compare current sexual practices with anything that existed more than 100 years ago. Why? because of one simple thing: birth control. Basically, the risk of having sex always carried much bigger risks for women (AKA children) in the past. The fact that people couldn't as easily control fertility shaped sexual behaviors in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 04:53 PM
3

society can be mean and changing societal expectations takes time. The thing is that men see other men having relationships and sex and get envious of this and put more pressure on themselves. My own opinion is that even if society would have no problem with virgin men, such men would still feel bad just by simply comparing themselveds to other men who have sex. It's the same with people who are envious of other people who have better jobs/career/money.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:13 AM
6

but that's the thing, most men would take any chance to lose their virginity, even if it's "unnecessary" . That's why being a virgin is seen as a "failure" in men, even though is a bad view on things.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:52 AM
9

because failure is seen as something "bad". And most men try to lose their virginity as soon as possible, to those who are still virgins are seen to have failed in their attempts.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 07:10 AM
12

voluntary single motherhood can always just me masked as accidental. A woman who wants to be a single mother can just say she had a ONS and doesn't know the father's name and it's very hard to prove otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 03:20 PM
36

sure, but that is a small percentage of single mothers and you know it. most single mothers are because they had unprotected sex and then did want/couldn't affort/was against their moral compas to get an abortion. What you are telling me is that you don't really have a solution on a macro level.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 02:57 PM
28

you said single mothers by choice should be illegal. That means you have to prevent such things for happening. so how are you going to do that if not by forcing women who don't have stable partners to get abortions?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 02:53 PM
51

so you are suggesting state enforced abortion? wow, this stuff is crazy even by the standards of this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/23 02:49 PM
5

i was in college also and people had casual sex, but nowhere near the numbers some people think they did. What did happen is that although women on an individual level had very little casual sex, most of it was had with handsome men. So the handsome men racked up bit numbers, but women still had low N-counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:22 PM
10

From my own observations is that the whole "women only want chad and if you are not chad you will not get a woman in her youth" is bullshit. A lot of women I know are with average looking guys and have been in that relationship since college or shortly after college (just so idiots here don't say "of course they are with average looking men as they are post-wall").
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:15 PM
1

I am in my early 30s
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 08:04 PM
20

I have told this story before, but I am purple pilled because of my own observations of relationships around me. Yes, the most handsome men will get a lot of casual sex with a lot of women with little effort, but the number of women that have consistent casual sex is not as big as some people here make it out to be. In my social circle I have maybe 2 women who engage in consistent casual sex, and most women just found someone to be in a LTR during or shortly after college. The image of a woman w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 07:21 PM
10

some of it is regional. Here in Romania the "are we exclusive?" talk is not happening. If you kissed/had sex with the same person multiple times, you are in automatically exclusive (unless specifically talked otherwise). One of them going on dates with other people will be labeled a cheater and excuses like "we didn't discuss exclusivity" are not going to fly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:30 PM
8

oh simple, people are idiots. As with anything in this world, no rule applies to everyone equally, but I am talking in averages here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 05:30 PM
8

of course noone wants bad relationships, but for a lot of men being in a bad relationship (and getting some sex) is preferable to being single (and most likely having no sex).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:37 PM
137

i think everyone wants a good relationship. How I understand it is that the list of priorities is this: men: good relationship > bad relationship > single women: good relationship > single > bad relationship Basically, men are more likely to see a bad relationship a better than single, while women are reversed on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:43 PM
13

The thing is that a lot of people consider early 20s and late 20s to be somewhat different phases in one's life (especially if college is involved) so people treat marrying at 21 very different than marrying at 28. So, are you talking about the 20s as a whole or are you also making a difference between early and late 20s?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 01:23 PM
–

is religious propaganda allowed in this sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 11:54 AM
1

If you mean where I live, I live in Romania.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 07:36 AM
11

there is already a mutually beneficial path, but it requires people to find compatible partners and work together on building a relationship. I have said this multiple times, but my social circle (mostly late 20s to early 30s) is formed by people who are somewhat upper-middle-class for where I live and most people are in relationships since college or shortly after college and have been together ever since. Sure, breakups do happen, but usually before marriage and so far, divorce has been non-ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 06:37 AM
21

I think we are just debating semantics here. We all intuitively know that your "default" league is below the lowest league if you don't attract anyone, it's not some imaginary non-value.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 12:27 PM
13

as people say "it takes two to tango". For a lot of cases, a woman could come dressed with a potato sack and some men would still try to hook up with her. The thing is, for a lot of women the "power of their sexuality" is not really something they can dial to zero. They can work to increase it, but it's almost impossible to turn it to zero. The fact that they cannot turn it to zero is something women have complained about as men still hit on them even when they do not want to. Basically it's a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:54 PM
5

What would happen if the woman doesn't know who the father is or what his name is? if abortion was available if the father is "unknown" it would lead to a lot more lying. Women would just say "I was drunk when I had sex and I don't remember/know his name". If abortion was not available in the above case, it could also cause problems like unwanted children or men just lying about their name.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:46 PM
–

in a spur of sincereness, some user said that "there is no way for both men and women to be winners, so it might as well be men that win".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:54 PM
5

but that the thing. Income must be judged in relation to debt and debt in relation to income. Saying you care more about debt than income (or the other way around) sounds really weird to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:43 PM
25

Aren't earning potential and debt somewhat two sides of the same coin long term? If someone has debt but also higher salary, over a long period of time, they may reach the same point of "money in the bank". Someone having a lower income, but no debt will still result in the other partner possibily contributing more money for certain activities.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 02:20 PM
–

there are some core values each of us have that are somewhat immutable and you must find someone who is compatible with those values, and then there are other values (more like preferences) that are usually malleable. I think the most usual core values are religion and number of children (both for obvious reasons). For everything else, you should not be a doormat (do everything just for the sake of your partner, even if you hate it), but you shouldn't be a stonewall (it's my way or the highway) …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 01:56 PM
9

you miss my point. sure, the chances are lower for you to be "the best" for a high N-count woman that for a low N-count woman. The problem is that if you are an insecure person, it will cause problems with a low N-count woman as well, because you will never know with a 100% certainty that you are the "best" and that might eat you from inside.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:25 PM
12

sure, but you still have no idea how the sex within those relationship is. you still have no idea how you compare to the previous guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:21 PM
10

because it's unprovable. if she says the sex with you is good and you don't believe her there is nothing she could do to make you believe her.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:19 PM
15

Oh, I agree that 2 is low for most men, but why would you also not be insecure at 2? Is there any reason you are sure none of the two previous partners were "better" than you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:14 PM
20

What is "low N count" to you? The problem with such insecurities is that may also ruin a relationship with a woman who has had only two (random small number) previous partners because he might think that her previous partners were "better" (whatever that means and no matter how true or false that is). That insecurity might even create false narratives like "she says the sex with me is good, but I am sure she's just lying because reasons" which are damaging long term in any relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 10:05 PM
4

posted something similar 2 years ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jk6hpi/social_class_is_a_good_indicator_of_increased/ So far, my observations back then are still valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 10:40 PM
5

I think men want women who other men want, but the women only responds to his advances.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 06:09 PM
4

but your argument is basically "sex has some risks, so people shouldn't have sex EVER". If modern contraceptives were not as effective as they are, every college campus would be swarming with small children.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 02:22 PM
3

for me average is anyone I walk on the street and nothing pops up to me about them. They are not too beautiful or too ugly to notice them and if you asked me 10 minutes later about them I would be "who???".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 02:03 PM
3

Fair, but that's why there are a lot of shades of gray between virgin and "village whore" (whatever that means depends on the person). My comment was directed more to the basement dwellers who go "no hymen, no diamond"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 01:05 PM
2

you see shades of gray. A lot of posters here only see women as either virgins or sluts, with very little inbetween.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:57 PM
–

I'm not sure if men want relationships more than women, but I found men to be more romantic because they tend to initiate most romantic gestures. I do think men fall in love quicker though. My main argument is not that men don't initiate most romantic gestures, but is it my nature (men are more romantic because that's how they are) or by nurture (men need to be more "romantic" because that the best way to keep women around them)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 09:21 AM
39

I can understand not wanting to be with the "village whore", but requiring your partner to be a virgin basically says "this person must get it right the first time they are in a romantic relationship or else they are broken". But, we are human so of course we make mistakes and things might not work out even if we have the best intention. Stuff like "you are not allowed to do any mistakes in this are" seems strange to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 08:53 AM
–

stuff like "men are more romantic" or "men want relationships more than women" are weird statements because they are filtered through the lens of "men have fewer options". The true nature of any person is only revealed when they have multiple options/paths to choose from and they choose the one that suits them best.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 08:47 AM
–

abortion is such a funny debate in the US. here in US, with some exceptions (Poland and Malta) abortion is legal and there is no real push by any mainstream political parties to change that. The 2 party system really did a number on US politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 06:42 PM
1

ok, if we are talking about just casual sex and hooking up at bars, probably once every 1-2 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:58 PM
–

In terms of height I am above average, in terms of looks I am average and in terms of personality average.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:53 PM
2

sorry, I misspelled. We are in our early 30s. Edited the post to correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:40 PM
16

you can believe what you want, but people in relationship will usually have more sex over time than players because of overall better consistency of sex within said relationship. And the gap widens somewhat as both me and my cousin grew older, because of less free time due to having jobs and just life in general. While I still put in work in my relationship, it is still easier for me than it is for him to find a new partners, "play the game" (AKA woo her) and having sex for a couple of times and…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 01:37 PM
18

not a player and still have sex more than my cousin who is one. My secret? I have been in a relationship since I was 22 with the woman (she was 20 when we met) who is now my wife and we still have a consistent sex-life now, in our early 30s. And yes, we are average in terms of looks, if you see us walking down the street you wouldn't really notice us at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 01:16 PM
39

while I agree, the problem is that in terms of discussion, people don't understand that the rule applies to casual sex only. In this sub, when people speak of the 80/20 rule they make it sound like 80% of all sex (not just casual) is had by top 20% which is blatantly false. This lack of mention of the rule applying to casual sex paints a picture much darker than it actually is and could be borderline considered a manipulation tactic ..
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 12:49 PM
2

you sound like the types of people who believe being homosexual is a choice. We live in the real world and people have different personalities. I am not saying that stoicism is a bad trait, but it can be miserable to fake it if it doesn't come natural to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 10:48 AM
2

the problem with any philosophy is when it is somewhat forced upon you even when it doesn't really match your personality style. it's not that it's not good, it's the fat that it's expected of most men that can cause issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 07:45 AM
9

I live in Romania and I think it depends on your social environment. In my own social circles, 90+% of people have a college degree (some more useful than others) and most women make enough money to not really need to be in relationships to survive. As in most countries, one income will not get you very far, but you can survive with that income. These very same women are all in LTRs or married and have been in these LTRs for very long time. I think it the same social divide in terms of education…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 05:35 AM
–

if you want a guy who doesn't watch porn at all, then yes, it's pretty much a lost cause, probably even among religious guys. if you are looking for guys who watch porn in "moderate" amounts (moderate is relative), then it's a more realistic goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/23 04:23 PM
–

for me, it's about having consistent casual sex, not just a few times. On a side note, by your standards both me and my wife are compatible (we are both hoes), but we are eachother's 3rd sexual partner
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 11:02 AM
9

you may not see them that way, but there are stages. highschool life is different from college life which is different from having a consistent job. Just like living with your parents is a different stage than living on your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 11:00 AM
–

so any form of casual sex shouldn't exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 10:55 AM
13

it is, because (IMHO) the sigma is for relationships between two people at different stages in their lives. age is just of proxy for this. it might depend on how often people meet older people in a natural way. throughout highchool and college, social circles were made up of people with an age range of 4 years max (with the 4 years gap meaning a student in their final year vs one in their first year). Anything above that naturally raised the question "so how did you meet?". Only after starting m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 10:54 AM
2

The worst i've seen is at a company party, a dude (who is kind of crazy) tried to hit on one of the women from HR. He wouldn't take no for an answer (and she did say she wasn't interested at least 5 times) that the woman asked help from other men at the party. These men also knew that the dude was kind of crazy so they just put him to take his jacket and get out of the club and not return.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 10:15 AM
19

i think it's the fact that the younger you are, the more you change in a relatively short amount of time. People change a lot between 14-18, they change a little less (but still a lot) between 19-23, but less so between 25-29. I don't know about you, but for me, this (slowing down) rhythm of change applied pretty well
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 09:12 AM
–

so why do college educated women stay married longer? shouldn't everything you said make non-college educated women "more valuable" and thus less likely to divorce?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 02:24 PM
–

another reason is that there is still an income gap in favor of those with college degree. And with money being a big factor that can put strain on a relationship, more money = less strain = less chances of divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:55 PM
–

is anyone really surprised by this?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 01:47 PM
–

I think it depends on your environment. You know how why I identify myself as "purple pill"? because in my social circles I saw all faces of dating. There were the very good looking and charismatic men who got more casual sex during college. But the other side of the coin is that only a subset of women went for them, with the more numerous group of women being relationship oriented and actually succeeding in forming long standing relationships. That doesn't mean their first attempt at a relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 08:57 AM
3

"scooped right out of highschool" hasn't been my experience at all. I know very few relationships that started in highschool, lasted all way through their early 20s and ended in marriage. Most people I know met some in college or shortly after college. So sure, most "good women" are off-the-market early, but not so early that you don't get to meet them in your early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 01:56 PM
9

this is where some RP dudes are delusional. They say they don't care about women's income, but then are afraid of "losing half their stuff" in case of a divorce. if you are afraid of divorce your should care about your wife's income. If my wife and I are ever going to divorce, we will both be "losing half our stuff" because it was out stuff and paid with money we both earned.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 05:09 PM
1

Men are thought to never hit a girl because the damage will almost always great due to difference in physical strength. Also I literally do NOT perceive my wife as a physical threat at all. I once let her hit me with all her strength in my arm and abdomen; it did hurt a little, but it was 99% harmless. Me doing the same to her would put her in a hospital.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 05:01 PM
18

i think you need a mix of both. Being the opposite in everything will cause a lot of friction, but being the same in everything will cause blindspots.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 10:35 AM
2

I studied and live in Romania. Here, the most prestigious universities have entrance exams and you get admitted based on the grades you get. Very few spots (like 5%) are for social cases and the concept of "legacy admissions" is non-existent. Former communist countries are kinda known for more "gender equality" in technical fields as the communist era put a lot of emphasis on technical fields for universities and it's still considered on of the safest bets for a good career once you finish.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 09:15 AM
4

I am in my early 30s so I am not that old (yet). I finished computer science and about 30% of my year were women. Hell, I met my wife in college (she studied the same major, but 2 years younger). Sure, not all men could get into relationships, but it's not like we were always busy and that prevented us from trying to find relationships. We still went to parties, hanged outside dorms etc; we were not some hermits that always studied just so we could pass the exams.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 08:13 AM
4

when I lost my virginity (it was a ONS), I was "happy" for maybe two days, but then what I felt was "wait... that was it?", it didn't fix any of my problems and was back to being kind of miserable. As for single men vs single women, I think the difference is that women tend to have more extended social circles than men. I know more men than women who have no friends. For these men, being single is truly being alone, while single women have their larger (on average) social circle to rely on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 08:08 AM
4

I finished engineering and still nobody dropped out of it because of dating. "Too busy with school to have a relationship" is usually just an excuse or coping mechanism.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 07:58 AM
–

some believe that dating as it is today is a systemic injustice done to men (some believe it's bad for women as well) and want to "fix" it. But as we know with any problem, the "fix" is not something easy or something that we can all agree on. What you are proposing is an individual solution, which can (or not work). It's similar to something like wealth inequality. The simple solution is to just work hard and succeed on your own, but the overarching narrative is that wealth inequality is bad fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 06:48 AM
15

wonder why I bolded the word "consistent" in my original post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 04:38 PM
26

Maybe I am just a boomer at this point, but when growing up, role models were mostly people around me, not some 3rd party you only saw on TV. For me, for professional success my role model was my uncle because he was really good at what he did. For relationships, my parents were ok, but I didn't really think of anyone as a role-model in that area. For my wife, her role model was her older female cousin because she proved she proved you could get out of poverty if you put your mind to it (my wife…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 12:16 PM
51

not sure if this is bait or just copium from your side, but I will bite. You do realise that not everybody (both men and women) are obsessed about getting casual sex. Even people in this sub don't think that there are enough women who have consistent casual sex out there. You seem to live in a world where there are no relationship minded women and all women do is have casual sex all day with good looking men. Come on man, you can't possibly believe that is true? Just walk down a street and look …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 11:18 AM
5

I think partner is a very good word in the english language to be used on the internet if you want to stay somewhat anonymous/vague. It doesn't say anything about your gender (saying GF/Wife means you are 90%+ a man) or the nature of your relationship (married/LTR/etc). It works in english very well, because nouns don't have genders, but it's also why it sound somewhat weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 07:43 AM
7

From what I remember reading (might be wrong) marrying your teen love partner has a high chance of divorce only if you marry very young. If you stay in the relationship and you only marry around and after being 25, the divorce percentages are not that different from other people who meet later in life but marry at the same age.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 10:59 AM
–

I am also not sure that men and women are that much different in the amount of feeling they experience, but women express them in a more visible way, while men suppress them more.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 12:51 PM
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"rape is not as bad as people make it out to be" is such a strange hill to die on. I sure hope you never have a daughter with that attitude. If your daughter is raped will you be going to her and convince her not to feel too said and to press charges because "maybe the guy didn't have sex for long periods of time"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 12:49 PM
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nobody is saying that sex isn't important, but it's as important not to force people to have sex with people they don't want to. So, what is your solution to satisfy these 2 contradictory stances?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 12:10 PM
5

for most men, finding a relationship (be it a LTR or ONS) is a numbers game and that isn't going to change anytime soon. Sure, some men should accept rejection better (and faster), but at the end of the day the total number of attempts will probably stay the same. As for being hit on by gay men, it might be similar in terms of making you uncomfortable, but the missing piece is (IMHO) frequency. Depending on your environment, you will be hit on by gay men in your lifetime the same number of times…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 06:57 AM
6

sure, men may not prioritize a woman's income as much, but some RP guys make it seem like men actively avoid women who make similar money to them, which is simply not true. By virtue of how dating and social circles work, people are usually surrounded by people with similar levels of education, income and interests and usually date within said circle. for most people the first option will always be to find a partner within this group of people, and only if things go wrong, search outside the gro…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 06:07 PM
15

Most people marry people with similar income, so it's not like requirements for higher income are unrealistic. you average women won't hold out relationships and/or marriage in hopes of catching a man with a top 10% income. And for women who still want a man with a higher income, what still works for men is that women still marry somewhat older men. Me and my wife have been together for 11 years now and married for 5, work in the same field, but for 9 years of I had a higher income just because …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 02:05 PM
–

on a more general approach, if humans somehow became unable to lie (even small/white lies) society would change so much it would become unrecognisable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 05:52 PM
9

we intrinsically put value to people. You for example mean nothing to me and I value my wife a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 04:37 PM
–

Realistically yes. but it will still be an unpopular redistribution because nobody can agree on government prioritization of money spent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 01:59 PM
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well, the needs of the child are somewhat constant. If you can't go after the father for child support because he "paper aborted it" it will most likely be the state that helps the mother with money. And we all know where the state gets money from.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 01:53 PM
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i was young once and wasn't exactly successful with women and that failure kinda consumed me so I know what it means to be consumed by that desire. Maybe I am delusional, but I believe I know the difference between normal desire for sex and obsession for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 08:46 AM
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people don't realize how good they have it until they lose something they took for granted. Nobody appreciates breathing normally until they get sick. There is also the "grass is greener" phenomenon. A poor person who is good with women might be willing to not have that success with women but get money, while a rich person with no success to women, might think it's better to be poor but with success to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 08:32 AM
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there is a difference between wanting something in a "sane" way and wanting it regardless of how they do it or consequences. I want a Mercedes (sane desire), but I am not willing to steal it (insane desire) or force Mercedes to give one to me for free because "reasons". Also it becomes an obsession if it's all consuming and all other desires/wants become unimportant.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 08:28 AM
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for me any kind of stress above "medium level stress" is a libido killer.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 11:27 PM
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I think everybody agrees that "lust sex" is better, but to a lot of men "duty sex" > no sex. The old saying "keep your man's stomach full and his ball empty" has some truth to it. Now back to the argument, if a lot of men were given the option to "go out and do something fun" or "stay inside and have sex", most would choose the second option tells you why a lot of women don't really need to put a lot of effort into organising stuff. Of course the problem is that to some women, having sex with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 11:00 AM
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I will go for the controversial argument here: for a lot of men, what is required to keep them in a relationship is just sex. These kinds of men, don't really care about any other effort as long as they get somewhat regular sex. They don't even care if it's "duty sex" or "lust sex". These men not complaining much about anything as long as they get sex, makes their partners also not put effort into other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 10:39 AM
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2 years out of college I got myself a mortgage on a small apartment (it has been paid in full since then) and 6 months after that my wife (then GF) moved in with me. Our arrangement was that she pay 25% what I paid as mortgage per month and half of monthly expenses (groceries, utilities etc). To be frank, that 25% (and my 75%) became really not that important in time as our salaries grew really fast so it was not that expensive. My advice is to talk this in advance. It's better to resolve this m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 08:12 AM
1

same, I never heard IRL anybody saying "I am too busy to date" in college, but i have seen it quite a few times on this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 04:08 PM
1

very true. I laugh internally when people say "I don't have time to date as I am focusing on university". If a relationship consumes so much time that you will fail/drop out of university, you are doing it wrong (with possibly the wrong person).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 03:58 PM
26

I will need other people to confirm, but maybe I am very out of touch. I am not saying that such people don't exist, but I haven't seen people use "traditional" when talking just about exclusiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 03:20 PM
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when you are young, stuff like comfort, familiarity and security are not a priority. that applies to both men and women. A lot of men would also choose the exciting women over the comforting one if they could do so in a consistent basis while young. The adrenaline and hormones that are part of any new relationship can be very addicting and some people crave that fix. As for women losing appetite in LTRs and marriage, I think it's life happens. I have been with my wife since college and while we …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 12:43 PM
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that's part of determining if you are compatible or not. nothing wrong with being incompatible with someone and that is not a flaw for any of you. there is nothing wrong with giving someone a fair chance, but then finding you are not compatible. this is just my personal standard, but to me "a fair chance" is something like 1-2 months in a relationship to give each of you a chance to become more comfortable in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 10:05 AM
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I try to be a voice of reason here. it's obvious that a lot of people in this sub have never been in an LTR and don't know what it means to be in one. being 5 years in a LTR and living 2 years together is a GREEN flag because it shows commitment and ability to compromise (two people living together requires some level of compromise and that is how it usually is). Also (depending on the age) 5 years is a long period of time, in which two people can realistically become incompatible (for example t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 09:43 AM
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I know a few women who were into their "lost phase" (not to be confused with "ho phase") after ending a LTR. Basically they invested a lot of time and effort into a relationship that ended and were not sure what to do next. In my case, almost all of them (with one exception) stayed single for about 6-12 months and then found another LTR. In the real world, unless that person is toxic, a relationship ending is not exactly a red flag (shit happens), at most a yellow one which you must investigate …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 09:18 AM
2

yeah, I think you are right. I read the post, but got what OP was trying to say completely wrong. ignore my post :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 01:35 PM
9

you just discovered that humans are hypocrites. "congratulations". same applies to all people, men included.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 01:07 PM
1

nice one. got a good chuckle out of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 10:21 AM
3

To further the analogy, I work in a very in demand field and receive multiple invites to interviews per week. You know what I do with these invites? basically nothing because I can't be bothered to spend two minutes to respond to them. And even if I don't respond, they still try to invite to interviews 6-12 months afterwards. I imagine this is how women feel on tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 09:38 AM
12

When people talk about men's role as protector it's mostly within a relationship. And I think we can mostly agree that today's society is very safe for most people. In the past 11-12 years of being in a relationship with my wife, I have never had to actually protect her from anything. I concede, that my mere presence there will dissuade a lot of other men from even attempting anything, but as far as actively doing any protecting, it hasn't happened to me. I think the saying is more like "if all …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 11:12 AM
1

You can hit on whoever you want, but you must also take the obvious hint that the answer is NO and just give up. Hitting on married women may not make you and asshole (or at least it makes you a smaller one), but still bothering people when it's obvious the answer is NO deffinetly makes you one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 05:11 PM
5

exactly this. Should also be added that people need to "communicate better". Over the years, i have had some arguments with my wife that were the result of each of us interpreting something in different ways. Basically someone said something, each of us heard the same words but understood things differently and then we argued when the each of our expectations around the result of the initial conversation were different. When we finally realised that we understood things differently we would laug…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 12:17 PM
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What are the numbers of indian women compared to indian men who emigrate? if the number of immigrant indian men is much higher than that of women, that could be a reason. The other obvious reason is that real life is not the internet and criterias on who people marry is much more complex and diverse than people on the internet believe it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 10:20 AM
30

I have said this story before, but my wife went out to with a friend(woman, also married) and they went to a restaurant to eat something. They were both wearing their wedding rings and still, a man hit on them and when they said they were married, his response was "so what? so am I" and continued trying for a few more minutes. I have no idea what that guy was thinking, but he clearly had no chance the second both said they were married (which is a level higher than the standard "i have a boyfrie…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 06:36 PM
8

each person has their own personal red lines in terms of beliefs and values. For example, I am friends with very religious people, but it would be very hard for me to date one because me getting up early each sunday for church would really go against my character and priorities. Same with "no living together and no sex until marriage". These are red lines for me. Then there are yellow lines, which are things that I value, but can be malleable around them. Crossing these lines individually is not…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 03:15 PM
0

with a sample size of one, I (a man) bought it. It's been some time, but I don't remember it being very expensive (even as a college student) and it's certainly less expensive than a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 12:06 PM
4

This is what people don't seem to understand. Social groups are not the "cheat code" option to getting relationships, just the better option compared to tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 08:56 PM
34

if your main objective is to meet women, then yes it's a terrible strategy. But, joining a group for a hobby you actually care about is a good way to meet people (women included) with similar interests which increases your chances of finding a compatible partner. in any kind of closed social group (your own friends circle or a hobby group) you only get 1 (max 2) chances at a relationship anyway because after that you get a "reputation".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 10:44 AM
18

in pure attractiveness, probably not, but in raising my interest to pursue a relationship with her, yes, it will make me want to pursue a relationship more. That being said, success of the relationship will still depend on compatibility (both sexual and personality wise). Money is the best cheat code in the world. If you can be and keep a relationship with someone who makes good money is going to make your life so much easier (and this applies to both genders). In terms of raw intelligence, my w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 07:50 AM
–

fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 12:13 PM
–

For women in relationships, if you want to give your partner an ego boost, call them fuckable (of course sex should happen during/before/after calling them that). When I was in college I had been in a relationship with my wife for about 5-6 months and one during during sex she called me fuckable. It was already inferred that i was fuckable (we had been having consistent sex in those 5-6 months), but hearing her say it out loud is the biggest ego boost I ever received.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 11:53 AM
1

You can get it from some women, but not from all. I met my wife when I was 22 and she was 20 and it took us a few weeks to have sex. But this period of time is in line with her personality. Since then 10+ years have passed and we still have sex on a regular basis, so for me this "if she doesn't have sex within the first week she is not into you is kinda bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/23 11:49 AM
16

an advantage of dating within a social circle is that both partners are less likely to do really bad stuff (like cheating, pump&dump etc) due to similar risks to their reputation within the group.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 07:01 PM
63

social circles have the advantage that you can let your personality "do the talking", not just a picture on tinder. I think we all know average looking people who found relationships with other average people in various social circles. Of course, this doesn't help you if you are very ugly or/and have a shit personality, but it's still better than tinder. The disadvantage, as you said, is that you get 1, max 2 chances within a social group at a relationship, after that you get a bad reputation.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 04:05 PM
3

the thing is that other countries were also doing it. One developed country suddenly deciding that all women will not work anymore while others still have women working will cause huge economic damage for the country where the women no longer work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 09:53 AM
5

you also miss the other obvious fact: not having half your people (women) work, will make you fall behind in economic terms on a global scale really fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 09:11 AM
1

my wife's phone really died. She was doing garden work and her phone fell out of her pocket right on a decorative rock. basically the screen was fucked and we couldn't even see anything on it anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 05:31 PM
2

my wife's phone finally died after 7 years of use. I had been asking her for about 1 year if she wants a newer phone and she said she will wait until her old phone is unusable. Time to buy another phone to last her another 7 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 05:25 PM
3

you forget about luck. Before meeting my wife, I was in a short relationship with another "decent woman", but we were just not compatible with eachother. not all decent people are compatible with all other decent people. Then I happened to meet my wife through a friend of a friend; basically me being at the right time in the right place. Dating is just not an exact science.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 10:23 AM
3

the other obvious reason is that the "honest and loyal women" are taken off-the-market very fast, stay in relationships for long periods of time and if they do break-up, your window of finding them is very narrow.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 09:35 AM
5

I have said this before, but the problem with age-gap relationships is that they have really bad statistics with regards to keeping the relationship going and very high divorce rates (compared to similar age relationships). It's the same argument people use when discussion why you shouldn't be marry a promiscuous people. Since they both have the same problem with LTRs and marriage, your point of view should be consistent in both: either you are ok with both or you are not ok with both.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 09:30 AM
1

where I live you have STEM, medicine and law degrees as the prestigious ones and economics/finance degrees are seen as the best out of the "normie" degrees.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 12:00 AM
1

I think the issuu with the premise is that men who are really bad with social skills tend up to be more shut-in, go out less and you are much less likely to interact with. On the other hand, women who are bad at social skills are still more outgoing than their male counterparts and you are more likely to see them in social settings.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 07:10 AM
17

how much more money than a woman must a man make to be considered a provider? Considering most people marry within their own tax bracket, the cases where the man is a read provider are quite rare today. And if both partners do work and brink in similar income to the family budget, you would expect a somewhat similar division of household labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 08:48 PM
1

In what category do I fall in? Met my wife when I was 22, she was 20, none of us were virgins (we were eachothers third partner), we married when I was 28 and now I am in my early 30s. Since we met young, I don't think I was a "backup plan", but I am also not chad in terms of looks. Then there is my cousin who is one year younger than me and has lived the "chad life" (moved from one casual relationship to the next). Sure, has had sex with a lot more women than I did, but in terms of raw sex numb…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 07:12 PM
12

it is still early in the morning here in Europe, but this wing my "WTF??? thread of the day" award.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 07:09 AM
4

The problem with money in absolute values is that it doesn't tell the whole story without it being converted to local purchasing power. the same money can make you upper-middle-class/middle-class/lower-middle-class depending on when you live.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 03:17 PM
2

not a woman, but I live in Romania which is a neighbour of Ukraine, so this subject came up with my wife. She said she wants me to escape with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 06:23 AM
10

this is so freaking stupid. you are just saying that discrimination based on facts you cannot control (the gender you are being born) is fine with you. to build a career and/or fortune, people should similar access to services. men having preferential access to certain services doesn't help at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 04:51 PM
20

sure, but people still fall victims to scams. the title of this thread is "no woman has ever been manipulated into sex" is just idiotic. It is at the same level of idiocy as "no man has ever been manipulated in investing in a scam". you either call both being scammed/manipulated or none, because they are similar scenarios.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 04:25 PM
6

I think this graph tells the whole story. you are a young single woman in 1950 and you are one of the 50% that works. in the next 10 years there is a high chance of getting married and have kids so when 1960 rolls around there is only 40% of the previous 50% are still working. Basically this kills any chance of a career for most of these women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 04:21 PM
14

sure, but that also proves my point. if people can fall victims to scams where they lose a lot of money (which as you said, is much worse than just having sex), they can also fall victim to much less serious "scams" like someone feigning interest in a LTR just to get sex. both follow the same recipe: promise something that the person wants (money vs LTR), be convincing, obtain what you want (get the money vs get sex) and then run away. Doesn't even matter than one is illegal and one is not, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 04:16 PM
3

but nothing will guarantee 100% success anyway. Even if you marry, nothing stops people from divorcing the next year. if nothing can guarantee 100% long term commitment, when is sex is supposed to happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 04:06 PM
48

KNOWINGLY making someone do something under false pretenses is manipulating or scamming. by your logic, everybody who "invested" money into any crypto rugpull, was not actually scammed as they should have known better. Come on people, come up with better arguments; you should be better than this.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 03:51 PM
2

I have heard something similar in this sub. It's more like: when a man cheats, he thinks with his "lower brain", when a woman cheats she is thinking with her heart. Basically for men cheating is mostly physical, while for woman it's mostly emotional. Not sure I agree with that, but it's been said multiple times in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 02:57 PM
30

you pointed out the obvious problem yourself: the moment women decided to have a child, they were basically stuck at home. What is missing from statistics is how long were these working women single? most of these single women transitioned into married and then into mothers. If we assume this transition from single -> married -> mother then we can safely assume that those single women that worked was mostly young women under 30. Also, after a certain age, especially in the 50s, most women would …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 02:16 PM
2

I think it assumes that women have the risk of getting pregnant and passing that child as if it the man's that was cheated. The equivalent is the man cheats, gets someone pregnant and then has to pay child support. Honestly, I kinda agree that that lying to a man to raise someone else's child is worse than paying child support to another woman, but that difference is marginal at best and both would usually result in a breakup if discovered. if no pregnancy is involved, cheating is the same betwe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 02:08 PM
18

from what I gathered in this sub, it seems that everyone agrees that a good relationship helps both partners. The difference I have seen is in the "bad relationship" vs "no relationship" category. If you go by what this sub preaches, men prefer a bad relationship to no relationship because even though the relationship may be bad, he still gets some sex, while women prefer being single to being in a bad relationship. if this is true on a grand enough scale, the difference in priorities was always…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:37 AM
2

bad comparison. Most women will not give any advice unprompted for. A better comparison is that most well off people will not invite a homeless person into their own homes just to make him feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:16 PM
1

are the well off (I am not saying rich) oblivious to the struggles of those to those who earn below average? Not really, but there is also not something most well of people active think about every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 09:56 PM
13

My personal theory (no evidence of this) is that whatever freedoms women gained by having more control over who they marry is being counteracted by a more unstable economical environment. We all know money is one of the top stress factors in a relationship so, more financial insecurity makes also for less stable relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 07:26 PM
7

This assumes people make better decisions as times go on, but that's obviously not true. People have always been bad at judging character and what is good for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 07:21 PM
8

yeah, those pesky americans and their weird units. why can't they be normal like everybody else. CM/KG supremacist united.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 05:23 PM
4

there are two lines of thought here: women are more into taken guys or they are just more relaxed around the taken guys because they know he will not misinterpret her friendliness for flirting. Probably a little bit of both
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 12:09 PM
3

My understanding with my parents is that they would support me through college (college was "free", AKA paid by the state where I went, so my parents gave me money for monthly expenses), but after that I had to deal on my own. My mother (and her sister) take care of my grandmother (their mother) in her old age, but it's takes a very mental toll on them as my grandmother is a PITA. That's the problem with multi-generational households, if any two generations don't get along well, it falls apart v…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 11:35 AM
2

the problem with multi-generational households is that, if you are not compatible with your parents or in-laws, it gets really tricky. For example, I couldn't live in the same house with my mother for more than a week because we are not compatible personalities at all and we clash all the time (as we used to when I was still young and living with them). I was somewhat raised by my grandparents while my parents worked, but the grandparents had a separate apartment within the same town. So the gra…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 10:48 AM
3

About children being raised by grandparents, I have a an interesting story. I have a female coworker who was born when her parents were very young (around 21 years old). Now, she is in her late 20s and she just had her first child and she sometimes has a hard time because her parents cannot help that much because they are in their early late 40s-early 50s and still work (you can retire here when you are between 62-65 here). And her husband's parents do help, but they live 600km away and and they…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 10:42 AM
10

I think you have it a little wrong. It's not that it generates disgust, but it's no longer the only right option. I don't think being a single parent is something most people aspire to become, but it's also not shamed as much as in the past. Staying single or childless (by choice) is also not shamed as in the past. I don't think anyone with more than two brain cells argues that a two parent family worse than a single parent household.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 10:16 AM
2

the problem with the argument is that you assume women actively agree/know that they are in such a situation. I would argue that knowingly "being a sidepiece" is somewhat rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 02:13 PM
10

it may not be a 1-to-1 match, but there is a strong enough correlation between staying a virgin until marriage and being religious (at least in western societies). if you hear someone was a virgin until marriage, what chances would you give them to also be religious? I would give it an above 90% chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 01:13 PM
22

the strong correlation between those who marry as virgins and that person being more religious means that any data draw about virgins and divorce is hard to apply to non-religious people. I know a few couples who have only 1 lifetime sexual partner, but only one of them waited until marriage to have sex (and they were more religious than average).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 11:40 AM
1

I will be honest, the survey makes no sense to me. assuming men and women 50-50 of a population, there is no way so much more men are single in both the 18-29 and 30-49 groups. I could understand that younger women dating older men, but there being more single men in both groups makes this very unlikely. This is either a self-reporting issue on what people consider "relationships" or I am just an idiot for not seeing another obvious explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 07:43 PM
1

Sure, but dating within a social group also comes with the advantage of pre-vetted partners. Basically, you know who and how they are. Also there is some social pressure on both people not to be shitty as it might ruin your own standing in the social group. As with everything in life, there are advantages and disadvantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 06:15 PM
2

The "problem" with dating within a social circle is if/when you develop a bad reputation. Basically if you get a reputation of someone who is mostly interested in casual sex, a good friend will NOT recommend you to friends who want something serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:33 PM
3

Went indoor karting with the wife, then went to a steakhouse for a good meal. We "celebrated" valentines today because next week we are both pretty busy at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 05:20 PM
3

normal people don't think everything must be equal, but will strive to make things as fair as possible. We don't split everything 50/50 because it's unfeasible and may actually be inefficient. For example I cook 90% fo the time and my wife cleans 90% of the time. Is it perfectly split 50-50? NO, but we both consider it fair. Stuff like pregnancy is inherently unfair because it's an obvious biological difference and we can't control those. You don't need to help with the pregnancy itself, but wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 12:41 PM
1

yeah, I think this is the point of no return. Talking about issues in a constructive way, means that a solution is being searched so that things can be improved. People have to remember, no relationship is perfect and constant work by both parties need to be put into a relationship for it to be great.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 11:43 AM
21

I can agree that the frequency of sex with my wife has gone down from the beginning of the relationship, but the quality has increased. Also, I will say that the frequency is still high enough that I don't feel any sexual frustrations. But, the title of this post is misleading at best. AF/BB as described by the red pill is very different from what this post describes. AF/BB (as I understand it) is that women go for different men when when wanting sexual satisfaction vs stability, but nothing in …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 08:13 AM
2

all relationship are kinda "transactional", but it's not exactly a bad thing. That's why everybody says that even successful relationships require work and effort from both partners. Only people who have not been in a real relationship don't know/realise the above.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:23 AM
16

I have told this story before, but the women who returned to work after 1-2 years off raising their infants, said they were feeling very isolated at home. Basically, their husbands were at work and all their female friends were also at work. That left them with very little adult interaction throughout the day. It's not that they weren't busy throughout the day, but it was menial work with zero intellectual work. They said they were feeling like their neurons were dying. In short, it may be lonel…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 08:35 AM
5

The thing is, usually people enter relationships and marry people of similar income level, because people self-segregate into groups of people with similar values and income levels. In your scenario, the real problem for said "poor attractive woman" is to be near the rich man (doesn't even matter if he is unattractive or not). This makes such a strategy very risky and most will fail at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 01:05 PM
–

In my country there is a saying (roughly translated): "those who don't have elders, better find a way to get them". It basically says that elders are naturally wiser, but that was probably in an era where if you reached old age you probably did something right (good health, good decisions, surviving hardships etc), but now (thanks to modern medicine) it's starting to go the opposite way: if you don't reach old age you were either unlucky or made some bad choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 11:36 PM
1

Unless you have money The thing is, if you go for early 20s women and you are a bit financially irresponsible (spending more that you would normally do), chances are that an early 30s man have more money than that early 20s women. Here, money is relative. Even if the older man has an average salary, to your standard broke student, that average salary will seem huge. I have said this before, but my main problem is the hypocrisy. Men claim they don't want to get into long term relationship with pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 04:07 PM
4

In another age gap post I described it as "it happens more than women think it does, but way less than man want it to happen"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 08:55 AM
7

I have said this before, but if we are complaining promiscuous women make bad long term partners, then so do large age gap relationships. Couple that are 10+ years apart have a 40-45% greater chance of divorce than couple of 0-2 years apart. If men want a long marriage, waiting until they are in their mid 30s and going after women who are early/mid 20s is a bad strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 04:07 PM
5

it's as normalized as "gold digging". going after young girls just because they are young is just as good/bad as women going after men just for their money. Both are seen as shallow because people are going after things that don't really make that person "themselves" (money and youth) and both can be transitory.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 03:57 PM
7

Sure, you can encourage it, but people will run into the wall of big expectations and above average results. Basically, there are not enough young woman who are willing to "have fun" with "much" older men for it to become a viable strategy. It's like people encouraging your average guy to quit college and start his own business in order to become a billionaire as if it's a sure thing that the end result will be the one they desire. The advice works for women because (for better or for worse) the…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 03:21 PM
1

I think you will first need to see something like this integrated into some sort of (good) video game, where at least a limited set of characters have almost no recorded lines and having conversations/relationships with said characters evolve naturally and you don't cringe everytime you hear the artificial voice of said character. Sure, we may be advancing, but we will need at least 10 more years (probably more than that) to reach the point. Hell, people have been saying that self-driving cars b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 12:52 PM
2

I think us guys sometimes confuse women being more relaxed around us with attraction. Once I was in a committed relationship, women started being friendlier to me, but I don't think it was because they were more into me, but because they knew I was in a relationship and wasn't going to confuse them being friendly to me for them flirting with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 09:27 AM
–

The problem is that casual sex isn't the "correct choice" for everybody, but you are somehow trying to make it work for you and it's simply not working. It's like trying to enjoy anal sex because your friend liked it, finding out you don't like it, but continuing to try it because your friend enjoyed it so you not enjoying it means there is something wrong with you. There is no shame in admitting casual sex is not for you as there is no shame in enjoying casual sex. Different people like/want/di…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 05:53 PM
–

I think it's like enjoying food that others don't like. You can't really explain it why you like it and don't really understand why others don't like it. basically, different people like/enjoy different things and it's really hard to explain and/or to convince someone else to your own way of thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 05:10 PM
12

When I was in highschool, I had some trouble making platonic friend so not much chance of romantic relationships. When I look back at that time period, romantic relationships is just a subnote on things I wish I did better, with being better at making friends in general being by far at the top of my list. I did get better at it over time, but it's still something that bothers me from time to time. I realize that is was 90% my own fault (had the personality of a potato), but it is what it is. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 05:07 PM
26

What is the definition of settling here? If your partner is not perfect in every way is is settling? If you ask me, everybody is settling at some degree (some more than others). Is my wife perfect? No. Am I perfect? again, no. But we are good enough for each other that we are not tempted into cheating/leaving.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 07:30 PM
11

what would happen? men who don't subscribe to this strategy would win out more. basically, this strategy works only if 99% of men actually do it. it's like law firms colluding to pay all lawyers minimum wage because they think lawyers make too much money. sure, it could happen in theory, but it would require ALL firms to collude which is pretty much impossible. Also the firms who still pay market rate, will get all the best lawyers which leaves the companies who do pay minimum wage worse off.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 08:59 PM
2

our split came out of the fact that I like cooking and hate cleaning and my wife is the exact opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 01:30 PM
7

the mistake that some people do is that they lose themselves entirely in a relationship and forget they are an individual, with specific hobbies, passions and dislikes. Of course there is the other extreme where a person doesn't want to compromise at all in a relationship and has a basic attitude of "take it or leave it". I also like gaming and have "invested" a lot of money into it (a good gaming computer, monitors and games), and do get to play games almost whenever I want to. BUT, that doesn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 11:05 AM
2

you will find examples of strange people everywhere, but that doesn't mean it's a common thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 03:42 PM
7

My pet theory is that people only categorize people as "at the top" or "at the bottom" because extremes are much more easily noticed, while the shades of gray in between those extremes are, as you said, unremarkable and thus mostly invisible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 03:18 PM
28

For me, an average person is someone who I look at and don't think anything good or bad about how they look. a little too much weight, but not really in the overweight category? still average not too tall, but not too short? average For me, the scale would be something like this: bottom 30 percent , then the average (30-to-70) and then the top 30%.But even if we consider the true meaning of what "above average" means (basically the top 50%) it's still way more than what the red pill says about o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 11:02 AM
3

in any relationship there are "hard lines" in the sand (if X happens, the relationship is over) and then there are "soft lines" in the sant (Y may not be 100% my cup of tea, but I am willing to do it for the sake of the relationship). The problem with your argument is that even if a man would care less than a woman about having children, he may care more about keeping the relationship. On the other hand, a woman may want children more and knows that after a certain age fertility decreases so she…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:24 PM
1

The missing part here is a "safety valve". Look, I consider myself a pretty stoic guy, but if things continuously do NOT go my way, I will end up hitting a limit and want to lash out. IMHO, the mistake is not teaching people that when you hit that point, you don't bottle it further, but find an avenue to let it out. The discipline you are talking about is knowing to not hurt those close to you when you at that moment, but also identifying the moment and properly blow-off some steam. Bottling too…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 12:33 AM
2

Men express their emotions in many different ways Anger,Violence,Destruction. As a man, I can understand these instincts, but.... the problem is exactly that we live in a society and the above instincts are not good for a stable one. Is there a good way of channeling these feelings (on a large scale) to do good?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 12:16 AM
2

so you are my "mirror-universe" counterpart. :) For me, it's the exact opposite, other that one marriage, divorce is practically non-existent in my social circle (also in my 30s and married myself).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 08:18 PM
1

maybe not on tinder, but dating through social circles get them relationships. Hell, just walk down the street and you see unremarkable dudes with girlfriends all the time. And I am sure not all of them are rich or some other status elevating position.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 12:07 AM
3

same experiences in my social group. Women who were in long relationships that broke (for whatever reason) stayed single for 6 months at least before going back into dating. Basically none of them had an "immediate" backup plan waiting for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 11:04 PM
0

if you are truly ugly, then you are correct, personality won't really save you. and for those who are truly handsome, personality may not matter that much. BUT, between these two extremes there are a lot of shades of gray. I don't know about your social circle, but for mine, the ones that were handsome had a lot of success, but while the average guys with awesome personalities were not "swimming in pussy", they had relationships and sex. That's the problem with this subreddit, they focus on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 04:45 PM
2

considering the amount of sex that is had, the number of single mothers is quite low. Just imagine your average college campus, keep the amount of sex had constant, but remove all birth control methods from the equation: everyone would have 1-2 kids by the end of college. More sex is being had, but with a lower chance of pregnancy, but when you add the total numbers it may result in a higher number of single mothers. The thing is, a child at the wrong time was always a bad thing. Even for couple…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/22 07:12 PM
3

I think the fear is about the lack of any chance of an actual defense. Women know that if a man decides to assault her in any way, there is very little that she can actually do in that moment as men are much stronger. Men on the other hand, think (maybe wrongly) that even if something was to happen, they at least have a chance to put up a fight. Misplaced ego may also be another reason. Some other things to consider. If your average man in assaulted, the most that can happen is the stuff on him …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 10:17 PM
4

The worst take I received on this subreddit was that I should just quit my job, tell my wife I was fired and stay jobless for a year just to test how my wife would react... because "careers are bullshit anyway".
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 11:25 AM
23

My personal pet peeve is is the hypocrisy of men who claim they wouldn't marry a slut because they make bad long term partners, but the next day they support 10+ years age gap for marriages, when statistics show that marriages with a 10years age gap are 40% more likely to fail as same-age marriages. My issue is that people are not consistent with their logic on this issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 09:36 PM
2

I don't think there is a greater tragedy in the world than you children/grandchildren dying before you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 09:22 PM
4

if you have sex that is worse than porn and/or masturbation, you are doing it wrong. The thing about good sex is that it usually doesn't happen right out the gate, but in time with the same partner as you both find out what the other enjoys. I was the same as you after losing my virginity; my first reaction was "was that all?". There was no magical change within me or anything radical. Even when I met my wife, the first few times we had sex wasn't anything WOW, but as things evolved the sex did …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 07:51 AM
5

same here in Romania. Even people who have entered relationships recently, the who "are we exclusive?" question makes no sense here. It is understood that if you go on multiple dates with someone (so we exclude ONSs), there is an implicit assumption of exclusivity and breaking it is a "no no".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 03:11 PM
4

yeah, that's why I am purple pilled. I have seen that handsome men get more casual sex, but the women I have met who do consistent casual sex are very, very rare. Most of the women I know are in the "LTR in college or shortly after" category. That doesn't mean that most of them got it right the first time, but except for one woman who changes boyfriends every 1-2 years, everybody has been rather stable. How do I know this? Well, even though I have lost touch with a lot of them over the years, we…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:57 PM
6

I've said this before on this sub, but 90% of my social circle is made up of LTR-oriented people. it's made up of people who usually met in college or shortly after college and have been in LTR ever since. Of course break-ups do happen from time to time, but they are rare and usually people go into another LTR within the year.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:49 PM
14

it happens? sure, but that doesn't mean it's a good strategy. it's like having the strategy of winning the lottery as you retirement plan. it could happen? sure, but the chances are low. The guys that I know who are still players in their 30s, were also players throughout their 20s, they didn't magically turn into one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:41 PM
16

met my wife in college (I was 22, she was 20), married when I was 28 and I am now 32. I am not some chad or anything like that, I just met my wife through a friend of a friend and hit it off. I consider our relationship successful, i these 10 years I can count on 2 fingers the serious arguments we had (and one of those arguments was due to miscommunication which we realised 2 hours into the argument and basically laughed it off for 30 minutes). And yes, finding a relationship is harder as you ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:29 PM
6

Nobody doubts that women do it also, but certainly not to the same extent as men. It's like on dating apps where women do use them, but on every dating app men outnumber women 4-to-1
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:33 PM
8

I think it's more like men go to some destination for the sole purpose of sex, while women go to these destinations to enjoy the destination itself, and if sex happens then good. Basically it's the primary motivator difference between men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:14 PM
11

I would find really interesting what people here find as high N-count. There are some very strange people that consider anything above 1 as "high", but I hope that they are a very small minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 09:53 AM
–

I think a high paying career can’t be used as a way to date even higher earning men. for women it's different than it is for men. Men seem to use their money to make women "want" to be with them (I use "want" with quotation marks, because it also attracts gold diggers). Women who make good money don't use money directly, but use the career itself to be near men of similar (or higher) income and date within that social circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/22 11:48 PM
1

true. But that's why people who complain about "people not appreciating how smart I am" don't understand that very few people are impressed by a raw IQ number (or something similar), but how you apply it and present it in a social environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 01:54 PM
4

As a married man, I agree with this sentiment. My sense of loyalty says I would stay, but I have seen how people being "a burden" takes a mental toll on the one doing the caring, so I don't know how this would affect me long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 11:44 AM
2

I think what is missing is that the "specific skill or goal" must also be somewhat interesting in a casual social environment. Nobody cares is a random neckbeard is very passionate about what all 4chan memes mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 09:18 AM
1

Intelligence is not just about raw knowledge/IQ, but also confidence. In terms of raw intelligence, my wife is smarter than me (my estimation is by about 5-10%), but I have double her confidence my skills, so (to the outside observer) I appear smarter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 08:39 AM
3

I'll take poor in rich country vs poor in poor country obviously. But would you rather be lower-middle-class in the US or upper-middle-class in a developed (but still not at western standards) country (slovenia/hungary for example).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 12:41 PM
7

that's why income in absolute value doesn't tell the whole story, but you must also consider the cost of living.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 12:22 PM
12

It's similar to how I think of people who have a large number of children. If they can aford it, then "nice", but if they cannot afford it , then they are idiots. There is no prestige in the action in isolation, but the context of that action as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 10:52 AM
30

when I hear of someone who is the sole breadwinner of the family, my reactions can be split into two: "nice", when that sole breadwinner has a very good income and that is reflected in how they live their lives "what in idiot" when it's clear that the income is somewhat small and the couple is struggling with that single income.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 10:25 AM
7

being the sole breadwinner comes with huge risks for the family. If anything happens to you that impacts that income, the living standard of the family is basically done for. Depending on your income, you do get less freedom because there is always the real threat of "if I don't brink in money this month, we are screwed". Work is usually not something many people enjoy, so of course if you add the stress mentioned above you are even less likely to enjoy it. Then there is also the fact that two i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 10:09 AM
3

Stop trying to make casual dating work. If it did our ancestors would have figured out a way by now. that's the thing, our ancestors couldn't do it because of the risk of pregnancy. It was not about morality, but practical logistics. You think single mothers are a problem now? Considering the amount of sex that is had, the number of single mothers is still quite low and speaks volumes to how efficient contraceptives are. Without birth control any attempt at "casual dating" is bound to fail. All …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 12:49 PM
7

you spent all this writing without specifying what you consider "casual dating". Why am I asking? because on PPD you never know on which side of the "crazy spectrum" someone is. I have seen some users claim that even a LTR that spans several years is still casual dating because it didn't end in marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 12:22 PM
8

If a man marries a younger lady, he will get the benefits of youth AND the benefits of her experience and wisdom as she gets older. If you look at statistics, the bigger the age gap the chance of divorce increases very much the larger the age gap there is. I sure hope he takes some wisdom from this, because chances are he will not benefit of her wisdom for long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 08:20 PM
3

I said this before, but this would result in people doing extreme stuff to get out of marriages and to get "their fair share" (especially the no marriage assets and custody stuff is too extreme). I will give the same example as I gave last time. Let's say my wife wants a divorce and during the marriage (for whatever reason) but knows that initiating it will make her lose a lot of money (no marital assets part) and by default lose the children. She may go to extreme measures to not get that, like…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 05:19 PM
1

lol, I wish there was an award for for "bad take of the day". Anyway, being entitled is different from being unhappy/miserable. We get that incels are unhappy/miserable, but what makes them entitled is that they tend to want to force someone else to be with them (regardless of what the other person feels) so they could would escape that unhappy/miserable life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 09:51 AM
2

I agree, but that's why age gap relationships are a yellow flag and not a red flag for me; and "sleeping around" falls into the same yellow flag category for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 09:23 AM
2

for me it would be 100% concern. I am not the kind of guy who would tell my daughter to "live your life the way I want you to, or else...".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 09:14 AM
1

I said, for me it's mainly the ick. I am not gonna go to the daughter and say "break up with this guy, or else....". But I am gonna take her to the side and make sure she is ok and comfortable with all this, something I would not automatically do with a similar age relationship. She is an adult and free to make her own decisions, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't show concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 09:12 AM
1

The problem is statistics are only for marriages because that involves a legal document (for both marriage and divorce) so it's easy to gather statistics. There is no "official registry" for relationship, one night stands, hookups etc, so it's harder to gather statistics about those. With that being said, considering the percentage of adults who never get married at least once in their life is under 10 percent, I would guess that the percentage of age-gap relationships that start but end either …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 11:42 PM
2

Yeah, it's mostly the ick. But I will also tackle it from a different angle focusing on this sub. I hate the hypocrisy of some users here which in one breath they will say that they will not commit to high n-count women cause they make louse long-term/marriage partners and in the next breath support age gap relationships. The problem is that marriages between partners where a 10 year age gap exist are 50% more likely to end up in divorce than marriages where partners are 0-3 years apart. And the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 11:17 PM
1

depends on the age. If they are older, tell them that better health means spending more time with their children/grandchildren. If they are young, give them pictures/videos of the worst case scenario that might happen if they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 06:55 PM
12

I live in europe and am talking about what happens here. Going down the "dating timeline" doesn't mean going through 30 people before finding someone. I know people who are together since highschool but still married around 25 and most people in my social circle met in college, were in a relationship thoughout college and a few years after that and then got married. Nobody says that if you don't marry until you are 19, then you will go through 50 people. Studies show that marrying while under 25…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 05:36 PM
22

lol, nobody says marrying at 19. Nobody I know in my age group married at 19 (with the youngest someone married being 24). The normal "dating timeline" in my social circle is: meeting in college, dating/living together for about 3 years, getting engaged and then after another 1-2 years getting married. I agree that I would not trust a 19yo to marry my daughter, but I would also think my daughter is making a huge mistake by marrying at 19. I am choosing the 19yo for dating purposes by considering…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 05:16 PM
19

older as in 1-3 years older? sure. older as in 10 years later (especially when the daughter is 18-20)? not a chance
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 03:24 PM
61

honestly, the 19yo one. You just described your average 19yo, so it's not some diss on them. But, my social circle at the time was my college friends so it was understood that we were sacrificing some short term pain (not having much money) for long term gain (finishing our degrees and having higher earning potential). my question would be "how the hell did she meet that 30 yo man?". Why? because when I was that age, naturally meeting 30yo in a "dating environment" was very rare and my main conc…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 03:11 PM
4

And that is why it's a yellow flag and not a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 02:53 PM
7

this is not the first time time I have said this, but this is what I would do since it's only a yellow flag and not a red one, and this applies to both a son or a daughter. I would not encourage them to brake up, but take them aside to a 1-on-1 talk, to make sure they are ok, they are not taken advantage of etc. They are adults, I am not there to forbid them anything, but that doesn't mean I cannot show concern. On a side note, I would take them to a 1-on-1 in case of a sex worker, but not in ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 02:52 PM
33

"many" is relative. large (10+ years) age gap relationship are still rare in the grand scheme of things. It's not easy to gather statistics about relationships (as there is no official paper about people that are just dating), but for marriages large gap relationships make about 7% of all marriages, but that statistic is mostly dominated by older people (meaning a 45 yo marrying a 35 yo) and not you younger ones ( a 35yo one marrying a 25 yo one). Also, the fact that is not mentioned is that div…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 12:01 PM
230

A lot of men are also somewhat bothered by age gap relationships, but not for themselves, but for their daughters/sons. I have said this before, but If my 19yo daughter cam home with a 30yo man, I would raise an eyebrow at least. So, for me, it would not be a red flag, but it's 100% a yellow one. I also believe that any man not "raising an eyebrow" if their 19yo daughter comes home with a 30 yo man is somewhat delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 11:24 AM
5

that's similar to "survivor bias". Sure, some can do that, but a very large majority will end up with men of similar caliber as them. It's similar to saying that most CEO's are men so men have it way better in the workplace. That may be true, 99% of men aren't CEOs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 09:27 AM
2

women would not be as emancipated as they are today. Why? because pregnancy is the greatest "disability" for the average woman. Want to get higher education? well, a pregnancy would ruing that. want to focus on your career on those very first years of your career? well, that could also be ruined. and before anyone says "well, they should just not have sex then" my answer is "yeah, right....!!!". Nature has made us want sex way more than wanting children as evidenced by the fact that people still…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 08:45 AM
30

I agree, but it is mostly a "prisoner's dilemma". If a lot of men do it now, it will make the men not doing it (so the ones that do initiate, pay for dates etc) have a huge advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 02:29 PM
26

There is a very big difference in a relationship between being needed and being wanted. Women not needing men is saying "I don't have to be in the good graces of a man to be able to have an ok life". I want my wife to want to be in a relationship with me, not need to be in it. Still, both men and women get a lot of value from being in a good relationship. But, to me it seems that women are more content to being single than in a bad relationship, while men seem more content to be in a bad relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 02:09 PM
14

I think it's better how I put it. If a man is nice to you when he is trying to sleep to you or anyone else, but once it has become obvious that sex will not happen, he starts with name calling or other bad behavior, that's who he really is. But yes, ho he treat women who he doesn't find attractive also speaks volumes. The problem with the honeymoon phase is in the name itself. We (as in both genders) are pumped full of hormones that make us ignore stuff we otherwise wouldn't. It's not that we wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 02:10 PM
10

There is almost nothing that can't be lied about, but if you have a good "bullshit meter", get him to talk about past relationships. If someone is "too good to still be single" and he is being very vague about past relationships, it's most likely that he is a fuckboy. After a certain age, most "good" relationship oriented people are taken and they are only "back on the market" when they break up. Basically being single after a long term relationship is usually a good sign that the person at leas…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:48 PM
46

The problem (for both genders) is that: they think with their genitals/hearts and ignore some red flags that become obvious in hindsight. fixing this is easier said than done they work with imperfect information. My theory is that a lot of players wouldn't get as much sex if the women they were sleeping with knew she had basically 0% chance of a relationship. same with cheaters. The problem is that nothing will guarantee 100% chance success. Also, yes, you should always judge men by how they tre…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:31 PM
6

This is why I (still) come to PPD, for takes such as this that put things in a light I might not have considered.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:20 PM
3

Which is why I’m pissed when even adult women are pushing the stupid narrative of ”Sex is the most important thing of a relationship”. No, it’s actually giving two shits about each other. I think sex falls into the same category as money and health: it's not the most important thing if you have it, but when you don't have it it's suddenly the most important thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:14 PM
3

I don't know about about your social circle, but in mine I know of only one SAHM and everybody else is dual-income. So, I haven't noticed the "more time" part, but have noticed the "seek out friendships" part.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:09 PM
7

I think, for me, it's a combination of "we are having a good time, why ruin it" and "thinking about it, it may not be such a big deal, i'll solve it somehow on my own".
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:06 PM
5

So yeah, if I'm going through a rough time and want to ignore my problems and have fun, I go to my guys. If I want catharsis or I'm in a state where fun won't be possible, I go to my wife or sister or best female friend. Wish I could upvote you twice for this. You put into words what has been my general feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:01 PM
8

avoid discussions that fall into more personal topics Yeah, I have seen this as well. My male friends are nice to hang out with, but the problems that are most talked about are work related. Hell, I've been guilty about that. I sometimes wanted to vent about something, but basically talked myself out of it. Not even sure why.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 12:59 PM
1

All of the points you listed apply to women too. I agree, but still women's support network is generally seen as better by both men and women. Patriarchy tends to pit women against each other. That is an interesting theory. Basically "strength in numbers".
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 12:55 PM
3

well, some stuff about us romanians being some "chosen people", jews are to blame for everything, only christian orthodox people follow the "true religion" and everybody else goes to hell. Basically the usual stuff. About vaccines he said that if we take it we will die in 6 months. 6 months passed nothing happened, then it was 1 year and nothing happened, then it was 2 years but he left before that happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 09:50 AM
5

Sad day for my job. We just "lost" the resident conspiracy theorist. He quit because (and I kid you not) he wasn't "appreciated for his true value". We have lost our source of entertainment. Well, it was fun to feed the troll while it lasted.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 09:32 AM
4

but what stops us men from having a support network outside their female partners? I have friends, but it's obvious even for me that my wife's same- sex support network (her female friends) is better than mine (my male friends). Is it that besides friends, we see other fellow men as "competition"? or is it that we don't tend to focus on our male social groups as "support networks" and just "a group of buddies to hang out with"?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 09:20 AM
2

i am talking mostly about mass shootings (especially school shootings), not crime in general. Crime involving guns in general happens in Europe as well, but almost no school shootings. Hell, even australia has no school shootings: https://7news.com.au/news/world/the-us-has-had-200-mass-shootings-this-year-australia-has-had-none-heres-how-we-did-it-c-6943913
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 08:51 AM
1

yeah, it might be a lifestyle incompatibility. I know a guy who works 10+ hours a day and even some weekends and it's a lifestyle that some women may not find compatible with their vision of a relationship. But that's part of the vetting process, finding someone who is compatible with your work schedule and lifestyle. I studied engineering in college (which is considered a hard field) and my wife (girlfriend at the time) was also studying the same so we understood that exam period was a time to …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 08:38 AM
2

you are not answering my question. It's not like Europe is a paradise for men and doesn't have frustrated men. If you consider the size of europe in terms of population, even with 50% fewer frustrated men, you would still get lots of horrific acts, but you really don't. This leads me to conclude that easier access to guns really is a big reason for so many mass shootings in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 08:26 AM
1

why never mention the obvious cause, AKA easier access to guns? here, in europe, we have more strict gun laws and mass shootings are extremely rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 08:14 AM
4

I never understood this "I de-prioritize relationships in order to focus on university/career/etc" for any gender. Nobody I know who got in a relationship in college failed in life because of it. If you get a partner that understand when the time to focus is and when the time for sex is, there is no real conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 07:21 AM
2

i meant even for sex, I don't think a lot of men would be thrilled to have sex with a trans woman. I will be honest, for me it would be an immediate turnoff if we were naked and she just said "you know.... i am trans". I would just get dressed and leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 01:45 PM
4

i actually think it's the other way for trans women. Everybody wants them, until they find out they are trans and then most just walk away. On the other hand, trans men have the "invisibility cloak" that a lot of men have and are just left alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 01:34 PM
1

the idea is the the changes are good for the men who are "winners". And I use "winners" in a very loose way as in not the worst losers. I am married and am by no means a "chad", but I got in a relationship in college with my now wife and things have been very good. Birth control has allowed us to enjoy lots of sex without fear of pregnancy and dual income is great and takes some pressure off my shoulders (if I were the only one making money, would we be going hungry if I somehow lost my job?).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 12:02 PM
3

I think another thing to consider in the last 100 years is that women started to have control over their biggest weakness/disadvantage: pregnancy. That single thing, along with the economy becoming more service oriented are very big changes there were always going to impact society.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 11:06 AM
2

More men are in positions of power so media only cares about that. If your average John or Joe get cancelled, nobody really cares or finds out about it. on a smaller scale, both genders get "cancelled". For example, people may get expelled out of groups of friends (or other social circles), but we don't call it "getting cancelled" even if it's basically the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 09:24 AM
1

I am still reserving judgement on how twitter is doing under Elon after 1 year has passed
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 08:36 AM
1

this is a classic case of "grass is always greener on the other side". Still think being reach, but alone would be easier, but both would be about the same in terms of how miserable I would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 08:34 AM
3

I am married, so I will give my specific example. I am 32 now and my wife is 30, but if I were single right now (and still 32) but met my wife as she was when she was 20, I am not sure I would go for that relationship. Basically, at 20 my wife was an unpolished gem and 32 yo me wouldn't have the time or the patience to deal with that. 22 yo me was also just as unpolished, but had more time and was more malleable as a person so we just polished eachother. I will also admit that I would have the i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/22 07:07 AM
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