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fight-self Archive

View 0 posts and 24 comments by fight-self on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Would what you've written above still hold if everyone in your life knowing that your wife was out fucking anyone she wanted to? Lol... I don't care what people think of me. This is my life. Im not living it for them. Otherwise are you just pretending to yourself that this is all ok for the sake of your kids? I'm not pretending. By itself, no I'm not okay with that. But if it means losing custody of my kids then yeah... I'm okay with it. Without boundaries and disrespect I do have boundaries. Th…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/22 07:06 PM
1

u/fight-self is taking “stoicism” to the extreme and using it as an excuse to be in bad situations. That's not what I said at all. I said that I'll accept the world for what it is and decide which parts I want to participate in. That means if a situation is wrong for me, then I will move on. Moving on is within my control. That doesn’t mean give up and stop trying or that you can’t shape you life by putting in place people and things that add to it and make you happy. I didn't say that I'd stop …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/22 05:11 AM
1

Maybe you’re not as in control of your reasoning as you think. Yeah, that's always a possibility. But, viewing the world this way makes sense to me. And I haven't seen anything but benefits with this point of view. I also haven't come across anything that proves that it's logically incorrect.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/22 07:26 AM
1

I mean.. it's essentially stoicism. I control my actions and my reasoning. The external is outside of my control. If you disagree with that, I guess my whole line of thinking here won't make sense to you since I base everything on that idea.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/22 02:30 AM
1

It's a good point. I definitely incorporate dominance and control for fun. But I don't believe the world operates in any manner that would allow me to control anything except the way I reason about things. I've spent a good portion of my life being fairly controlling when it comes to other people. Things rarely go to plan, there are always variables that are unaccounted for. Which leads me to believe that control over the external is just an illusion As a sexual strategy, sure, role playing cont…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 08:19 PM
1

Deny your needs for long enough and you forget you're doing it out of shame/guilt and you start to tell yourself you're doing it because you're stoic or hyper independent or whatever. You're not doing it for them (true), you're doing it because self denial has been internalized to the point that you see it as an identity. That'd be true if those were my motivations, but they aren't. I'm not doing this because "I don't care, I'm tough enough to handle it" or some stupid shit like that. This also …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 08:06 PM
1

Oh, hello old me. Are you sure you're not just a nice guy who internalized that his needs are a burden on others during childhood and now that those shitty childhood strategies are no longer working in his adult life (shocker); Nice guys are motivated by validation/avoiding judgement and shame. This isn't that. I don't care what people would think of me if I decided to leave. I'm not doing this out of a sense of duty. I also don't need them to act a certain way so that I feel a certain way. I do…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 05:57 PM
1

Thanks for responding. I've enjoyed your perspective on things. Hypergamy is monogamy. That being said when you are not a woman’s top option, she is not automatically going to cheat. Right, yeah. I'm not saying that it's automatic. What I'm saying is that I accept the possibility that it could happen. That nothing I do will guarantee that it won't. That's reality. Thinking that getting jacked, being a "great" husband/provider/lover somehow makes me immune to that reality.... that's fantasy. This…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 05:33 PM
2

Do you have any practices that lead to clear goals which you are driving through action? Yeah. I'm just trying to bring some of that to the things I'd like to change regarding sexual strategy and relationships. What is the source of your self worth? Mostly internal. I still catch the rogue validation seeking behavior every now and then, but it's easy to catch and re-orient now. Before I found this place a couple years ago, is was a lot more external. Now though, I'm starting to feel like self-wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 04:59 PM
1

OYS 3 u/sea-tease posted a comment yesterday regarding my last OYS which helped me clarify a few things for myself, so I'm going to reply here. You believe that trust is not possible in a monogamous relationship. I trust people to act like people, and people do what's best for them. There is no guarantee that someone will be faithful to you. Even if they say they will and actually believe it themselves, they can't know what the future holds. Maybe they lose attraction for you, maybe they get bor…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 09:25 AM
1

Is your desire to salvage this relationship I wouldn't say salvage... maybe redefine. Before all of this, my view of relationships was more like, having someone who I love, who I'm faithful to, who loves me back and is faithful to me (covert contract). I saw the women I was with as part of me/extensions of myself (narcissistic). I felt as though they owed me something. None of that is based in reality. does it matter to you She is going to be living with me, we are raising kids together, there w…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/22 11:51 PM
1

Self-actualization requires being honest with yourself. I think it seems like self-deception to you because you and I want different things. It's probably hard for you to imagine wanting what I want. I'm sure it seems crazy to you. I like my kids, too, but I’d absolutely get a DNA test if I had any inkling that my wife had ever cheated (at any point). I’d probably maintain a relationship with them even if they weren’t mine, but I sure as shit wouldn’t fund & raise some other guy’s (or multiple g…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/22 06:25 PM
1

You are bored with sex, but your wife is fucking multiple other guys and you just accept it. I’ll bet they aren’t having boring sex. I don't think it's beneficial for me to sit around wondering what kind of sex my wife is having with other men. Exactly what does that have to do with my boredom? you just accept it I need to accept it because it's something that comes along with the decision I've made. If I don't accept it, I'll be angry and unhappy because I'll be fighting against the reality of …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/22 04:24 AM
1

OYS 2 Got some good advice from DirtyNuke last week regarding my occasional thoughts about my wife cheating on me. He said that I pretty much need to accept the fact that these thoughts will hit me from time to time and "when the worries come, play that card" then go back to whatever I was doing. Had an opportunity to put it into practice this week. My wife was being sneaky with whatever she was doing on her phone. Immediately my mind goes to cheating. Usually it sticks with me for a while and I…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/22 07:25 AM
1

What is slowing down? Her texting or you taking your foot off of the gas? I'm unclear. The second one. Sort of like getting to the end of noob gains. Progress isn't as rapid now. What do you mean by be more intentional? Going along with the previous answer, I need to dial things in more in order to continue making progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/22 05:50 AM
1

I have a lot of things, but I tend to spend more time on a handful of my favorite things. If one falls through, another would take its place. But I think it's natural to want to hang on to your favorite things.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/22 07:10 AM
1

There are consequences. Not in order to punish or control her, but just as a natural reaction. I have deprioritized her in a lot of ways. There are many things that I no longer want to do with her. And it's not because of butthurt or getting even... it's because I don't feel connected to her anymore. Another is that I don't see her the same as I used to. She's not within my control, she doesn't owe me anything, everything is conditional. I see all women this way now. Which is helpful since it's …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/22 07:00 AM
1

save the relationship I don't really see it that way. There's nothing that really needs saving. This relationship is what it has always been, It's just that I used to think it was something that it wasn't. What I'm trying to do now is have a realistic view of this relationship instead of the warped idea I used to have. She doesn't belong to me or owe me anything. Everything is conditional. Anything outside of that is fairytale. If you improve yourself and your wife starts to value you what then?…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/22 07:09 AM
1

I'd encourage you to examine your current time with your kids Good suggestion. I'm not counting time where we're all at home together, but time where I'm giving them my full presence This would be more about them in my opinion. I get something out of it even if I'm not involved at all. I'm not really too concerned about "quality time" specifically... what I want is time that I enjoy.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 06:22 PM
1

WTF are you doing here? I think it's something that'll help me work on things that I want to work on. We're all fighting the same battle really. The things I'm working on right now that I mention in my post are thinking less about what my wife is doing, losing weight, and working out the sex boredom. have you done paternity testing No, there's no point to that.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 06:14 PM
1

This isn't putting myself last, it's putting myself first. I'm not doing this for them because they "need" me, they don't need me. I'm not doing it for "good dad" validation, or societal guilt. Leaving my favorite things because of something someone else did? That seems backwards. That's how it is... right now. Who knows what I'll think five years down the road. Priorities shift over time.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 05:49 PM
1

Not only do I need to accept the possibility that she's doing all that, but I also need to accept that I'll occasionally think about it. Just need to get better at letting the thoughts pass. This is good advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 05:35 PM
1

Fear It's not that. This is how I've prioritized things. Watching my kids run around and do all the stupid shit they do is honestly what brings me the most joy in my life. It's more important to me than being with a "faithful" woman or having great sex with a bunch of women. My priorities might shift as time goes on, but right now this is what I want most. If I leave this relationship, then I am guaranteed to have my time with them cut in half at the very least. 0 options How are you defining op…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 05:31 PM
1

OYS 1 40s, Kids Found this place a few years ago after I discovered that my wife was talking to a couple of her ex boyfriends from high school behind my back. Spent a lot of time leveling up since then. I'm starting to feel like things are slowing down, so I think I need to be more intentional. Right now my plan is to stay in this relationship at least until my youngest turns 18. I really enjoy being around my kids and watching them do their thing. In order to make that work, I have to accept a …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 01:48 PM
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