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~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 20 | Porn | ADVICE | k_tee | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 12:51 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | PornEmotions are useful guides, but they can cloud judgment, compel us to react rashly, and present a skewed picture of the situation. I agree 100% and am usually good at figuring out why I feel something and dealing with it and moving on and RPW has definitely strengthened this habit. This issue is something I felt I wasn't able to sort out on my own. I don't think I'll mention my feelings on this to him at all though, I think you're right with that. Thanks again Phantom. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 12:11 PM |
| 2 | PornHormones be crazy. If ever I heard a more true statement. I get the fantasy thing. Gangbangs are better as a fantasy. I very much know now that it was a mistake to watch, but what I saw was just many scenes of different girls doing things we do and many, many pictures of naked women. I know this "flaw" is because he is a man and I know that is part of why I'm attracted to him. I've realized this feeling I have is like constant passive (unintentional) dread, all the time. I've noticed I have to s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 12:03 PM |
| 2 | PornJust curious, what would be his reaction if you were to do the same? He likely wouldn't care. I do sometimes, but it's rare and I don't look for sexy naked men specifically. If I did, I don't know if his reaction would change or not. Maybe others here can say what their experience is with that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 11:45 AM |
| 1 | PornThank you so much for your perspective. I think you understand how stressing this is for me even when I know porn is normal behaviour. It's one thing to know your husband watches porn, it's another to actually see him do it. It's the fact that he is not being open with you. I've thought this might be a big part of it, yes. I definitely would like to be involved and have received some great suggestions about that, but I am worried about how I will react. Your husband is very open and even shows y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 11:27 AM |
| 2 | PornOther than below I get the rest of the article. "Too many women," Weston says, "think marriage is a license to run their man's sex life. They believe that once men say, ‘I do,' they should no longer want to masturbate. That's naïve." I would never tell him he can't do anything but let me point out that I have zero problem with masturbation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 01:44 AM |
| 1 | PornThanks for the bluntness Phantom. I definitely agree that watching porn itself is not a problem in itself and that I need to work on not getting worked up. There have been a lot of useful responses that have helped me understand the whole thing a lot more which has made me feel better. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 01:31 AM |
| 1 | PornMaybe it is just boredom! It's probably one of the more entertaining things to do. Hopefully our hours change back soon. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 01:26 AM |
| 2 | PornWatching porn is significantly better than cheating on a partner because it doesn't hurt her and there's no risk of catching feelings. That's very true. I need to work on internalizing that it's not personal and that he could have remained a bachelor, but he married me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 01:22 AM |
| 1 | PornMen's brains completely lose the ability to detect or act for subtlety when in this state. Instinct has taken over, and he's feeling the same fight or flight emotional response you described in your post. Every young boy is caught at least once in their lives watching porn Thank you! This makes a lot of sense. I've said I have a hard time imagining him ashamed of anything he wants or likes, so this explanation sounds far more fitting. Here's a suggestion. I really, really love this and I think t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 01:13 AM |
| 2 | PornSomething I haven't seen in this thread is that both genders enjoy porn. Of course, but generally speaking women tend to watch less. If nothing else, this is true of me. I don't spend a lot of time browsing many different images of naked men so it's obviously difficult for me to understand why he needs that when I don't. When I'm horny, I want him. Men are different. Someone else explained it as banning chocolate. If he doesn't like chocolate, it's not a big deal. If I enjoy chocolate, it's a bi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 12:59 AM |
| 1 | PornHes ashamed of himself. The things he says to you about the negative side of porn are things he really believes. It's hard to imagine him feeling ashamed of himself in regards to anything. He's quite unabashedly confident in what he wants and likes. But you're right, no one talks about porn and god knows the media and a lot of partners make their SOs feel like shit about their porn habits. I never want to be that kind of wife. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 12:35 AM |
| 1 | Pornit's important to not know what kinds of porn and images he is looking at for Special Man Time. You're 100% on the money with this. I know my biggest mistake with this was looking at what he was watching instead of turning over or closing my eyes. It's much worse knowing. However, unlike your concern for legality, it seems I'm experiencing a hard feeling of inadequacy. What he does after I go to bed is his business, and for all I know it's once a week or once a day. Special Man Time is not my de… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/01/16 12:31 AM |
| 3 | PornI think it's more likely the "variety" aspect (different-looking women). I haven't yet been against anything he's suggested or wanted to do. There could be things he just doesn't want to do with me. Fantasy vs reality. I don't like it but I know it makes sense. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 08:23 AM |
| 2 | PornI assume that he hides it because he thinks it would upset me and is being considerate. It's possible I have spoken negatively of porn (maybe unwittingly?) but generally not. Occasionally we browse NSFW pictures together or outfits we'd like to try. I'm not against porn itself. I will mention that before posting here I tried to lightly talk about porn with him, get a feel for his thoughts, but he didn't say much and I didn't want to push it. Maybe talking to him about porn would help. I don't kn… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 08:12 AM |
| 1 | PornI definitely recognize this is a problem in my head and if it was as simple as switching off whatever I felt about it, I would. Maybe as I get older and my marrige gets older I'll find it easier to ignore or deal with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 07:27 AM |
| 3 | PornI do have a problem with it. I'm uncharacteristically upset about this. I'm usually a laid-back, relaxed happy-go-lucky type. I'm very cautious about thinking it may be addiction because I worry that that's an easy way to just demonize a behaviour I don't like and it doesn't seem to impact anything else. I do agree that porn is different from tv or general internet in my opinion and I do wonder about things like desensitisation. I would feel better if it was only 10 or 20 minutes of porn (or eve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 07:21 AM |
| 1 | PornThanks for the perspective. It's ridiculous to accept RP truths that are largely based on biological behaviours and instincts and not come to realize this is just another one of these truths. The r/K selection strategies make a lot of sense. Men and women are so different. I understand more clearly now why "rather porn than other women!" is actually a legitimate response. After reading your reply I see that I should feel more flattered, not less, and happy that he has committed to just me despit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 06:32 AM |
| 2 | PornI could be estimating wrong, but I can see the screen from the bed and there's a clock above the bed. But yes the bedroom is still active and otherwise things are great. I'm going to make an effort to work on my reaction and feelings about the porn. I dont have anything legitimate to worry about as long as our sex life is still good then? I'll keep reminding myself of this! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 03:33 AM |
| 1 | PornI absolutely feel that he finds me attractive. He's sexually playful all the time. It's just difficult to understand why he needs a sexual outlet via porn. But there have been a lot of great responses that are helping me understand. The sex is definitely great sex. Not every single time, of course, but my libido and excitememt definitely matches his and I don't have to have sex because "I should." Thanks for the suggestion, I'll have to think about asking him about the porn the likes and incorpo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 03:23 AM |
| 1 | PornYou're right, I wouldn't want to have a partner that I couldn't bring my fantasies to. I'll try to own it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 03:18 AM |
| 1 | PornThis is a really insightful comparison, thank you. I haven't seen it put quite that way before. I feel weird about him asking me to do things or wear things he has watched online and feel sone pressure to be exciting enough in comparison. Otherwise our relationship is great in and outside the bedroom. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 03:01 AM |
| 3 | PornThanks for the article. It's interesting how much of a big deal it isn't for men. It is just to cum and be done. Porn is something that just gets him there faster I'm sure sometimes it's just for a quick release but some days we've had plenty of sex and yet he might still spend a long time looking at pictures/videos. It's not a quick thing. Be grateful he is letting you sleep and not keeping you up every single night to get it done. I know what you mean, but if I could pick, I would 100% pick th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 02:46 AM |
| 2 | PornLet's say this ends up bothering you so much that you leave him over it. I would never leave him over this, of course. I realize this is something I either have to take to him or get over myself. It's difficult to understand why he needs this and I think maybe as a woman I may never understand completely. I suspect, as you said, that he thinks it would upset me and so maybe considerately keeps me from knowing. I understand where you're coming from because I was there too once. How did you get ov… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 02:25 AM |
| 1 | Pornhis habits have everything to do with the fact that he has a dick I laughed but this really helped, thank you! I'll make an effort to logic away the feels. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 02:06 AM |
| 1 | PornYou're right that it's not the same thing at all. I wanted to explain that there are some things you get from only a SO and that I realize men and women work differently, especially when it comes to sex. Your last sentence is definitely something to think about, thanks. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 01:36 AM |
| 4 | PornThanks for the response. Do you have any advice on how to get over it? | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 01:32 AM |
| 5 | PornYou're right, of course I would prefer porn over real women, but it's difficult to understand why it has to be one or the other. Since everything else in our marriage, including our sex life, is happy it would be a good idea to make an effort to ignore it. It's hard. We've made porn together and he has plenty of sexy pictures of me/us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/01/16 01:31 AM |
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