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–

I've been on both sides of this issue - I didn't get into my first relationship until I was 23, so there were 5-6 years there where I desperately wanted a girlfriend and didn't have one. Then I got in a relationship, from 23 to 29 things were good. Then we broke up, and I've been alone from 29 to now, where I'm about to turn 36 - so another 7 years. The time periods before and after being in a relationship both sucked. Each long dry spell was marked by feelings of inadequacy, shame and guilt for…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:18 PM
1

I think it's just very bitter, very resentful people sniping at one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:09 PM
7

I've come to realize that continuing to read the threads here is just an exercise in masochism. Seems like every other comment is hurtful to read in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:05 PM
5

than spend it with a boring nice guy Well, that's enough internet for one day. I'm extremely unsettled by this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:42 AM
2

I've only ever spoken to one person on a dating app and yeah, trying to make conversation via text with someone you've never met is an exercise in frustration. Better to just organise a date quickly and not try to force it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:42 AM
4

I didn't have to do any of that, my first girlfriend approached me, we got to talking, and we agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend at the end of our first date. That's how easy it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:01 AM
15

You're damn right I pretend to be outgoing in order to get women's attention. There's no shame in admitting that. If you don't, nothing happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 09:56 PM
2

It would have to grow, yes. I don't want kids so thankfully that second part wouldn't be an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:22 PM
4

Are you okay being the man she settled for? Sure. I think love and attraction can grow over time. Even if I wasn't the first choice, I don't mind being the last choice. Does is matter if you disgust her? This is a step too far. You can settle for someone without finding them disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:14 PM
7

I guess my main point is that most people are aware of what's holding them back. The idea that they're thinking that they're average isn't accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 07:49 AM
1

A lot of guys also grow up being told that looks don't matter for men. In b4 "didn't you notice how the hot guys got all the attention in high school?" I hate that argument, it's so dismissive.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 01:28 AM
9

I'm well aware that I'm very below average, by dint of my weight. Without that I'd be exactly average in height, socioeconomic status, education, etc and would do just fine in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 12:42 AM
5

Would be even better if I had someone in the bed with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 04:10 AM
7

My problem was feeling alone and unwanted. Getting a relationship solved that problem. It's not rocket science.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:54 PM
8

I've definitely met plenty of nerdy weird girls through D&D that I'd love to have dated, but I've also met plenty that were just not an option at all. I think the former would be ones you'd say were a million miles out of my league. They absolutely gave a damn about looks as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:28 PM
26

Lol this happens every week for me. My boss asks the team what they did on the weekend and it's like: "took the husband and kids to the beach", "my partner and I went to the market", and then I go "I literally laid in bed from Saturday morning to Sunday evening".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:23 PM
2

Materialists trailer has a guy mention "nothing over 20 BMI" at 0:14. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A_kmjtsJ7c Whoever the BMI guy is tag him please.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 02:59 PM
1

I only attmpted using dating apps briefly, when I was 34. I also set it to +/- 5 years of my age range. That seems to be the common answer in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:37 AM
2

Uh... yeah. That's right. You see, that's why I said at the start of the sentence, "I can't speak for other men". That's why I said that. Do you understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 04:51 AM
8

It was incredibly easy when I got my first girlfriend. When the person is actually into you, you don't need to do anything. When they're not that interested, then it's difficult. The actual hard part is finding someone that's interested in you in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:43 AM
1

It's a randomly generated name, it's just an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 12:31 PM
5

I mean... I want to change, it's just very difficult. I have so many things wrong with me. I've gotten past the extreme despair and loneliness phase and now I'm pretty ok with it. It took a long time, but eventually I realized... if I was to fall ass backwards into a relationship tomorrow, I'd immediately fuck it up. Again, there's just too many things wrong with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 06:55 AM
1

Absolutely I'd want to know. Of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 07:02 AM
1

Well that's what I mean, if they have, I don't know about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 06:55 AM
1

In hindsight I realize I literally just described the girl I had a massive crush on all throughout university. Like to a T. I guess she really had an effect on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:32 AM
1

Sure I would. I said a similar comment the other day - pizza's my favorite food, that doesn't mean I only eat pizza and can't enjoy any other food. I'm talking about like my ideal type, the one that haunts me at night.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:28 AM
1

This is what we settled on: Name: Emily Ackerson Appearance: A mix of effortlessly cool and casual. Dark hair, maybe a little messy and usually tucked behind one ear, with a nose ring and a couple of piercings in each ear. She’s got a style that’s comfy but still got a bit of an edge—flannel shirts, band tees, maybe a leather jacket thrown on over the top. Think casual but with a slight rebellious streak. Personality: Laid-back, with a sharp wit and an undercurrent of mischief. She’s into altern…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:21 AM
3

1) All the girls I've 'really liked' weren't interested in me. So it's a moot point. 2) I'm pretty flexible in terms of looks. I was most definitely attracted to all of the girls that approached me. 3) I'm not handsome enough to have the luxury of having a 'type'.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 12:04 AM
4

They do, yes. I'll give you four examples that happened to me. 1) Girl at work sits at the desk across from me and makes small talk with me for weeks. Eventually, she wears a low cut dress and leans over the desk to borrow a pen, waiting until I saw her. That was when I realized she was interested in me and I asked her out. 2) Girl at university comes up to me and initiates a conversation. She knows me through friends of friends and found out from them about my interests. That leads me to add he…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 11:52 PM
6

Why would she approach a stranger either To give them the green light that it's ok to show interest in her. Nothing happens without getting that first.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 11:43 PM
1

I think you're justifying. Most people are funny when they're around their close friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 05:23 PM
0

Only around my closest friends, but I think that goes for most people so I don't think it would count. Leveling up my social skills allowed me to be that way in group settings, not just the two guys I went to high school with who I already had a shorthand of shared experiences with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 05:15 PM
1

I definitely became more funny. With confidence comes the ability to not give a fuck if a joke lands or not. You also get a better sense of how to keep your audience engaged and adjust your tone accordingly. I'm not saying I'm up there doing comedy sets, but I can definitely get a humorous reaction out of a table.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 04:58 PM
1

You absolutely can change your personality. I was an extremely shy, socially anxious teenager. As a defense mechanism, I also became very closed off and negative. I just hadn't lived enough life yet. I hadn't interacted with enough people. What changed for me was just... growing up a bit. I realized I had no social hobbies and my negativity was pushing away everyone around me. I started playing D&D at my local game store, and just grinded those social skills for a few years. Bit by bit, every we…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 04:46 PM
2

There's a scene in Superbad where Jonah Hill opines that if he got to have sex he'd go down on her for hours. I had, like, a general outline. You know? I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay? She would love that. She'd be smitten. She'd go out with that. That's the first thing that came to mind for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 03:26 AM
3

My favorite food is pizza, it doesn't mean I only ever eat pizza. You can still be attracted to someone even if they don't perfectly fit your type.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 11:29 PM
2

Not all of us have the luxury to pick and choose. Of the four women I've dated, only one of them was my 'type'. It was amazing but she lost interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 11:22 PM
2

I'll field this one. You can meet plenty of women you like and find interesting, but they have no interest in you in return. Zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:11 PM
2

Q4M: How often do you shoot IRL shots? Never. I think it's the height of arrogance to bother strangers who are just trying to go about their day. There's very few circumstances where I'd feel comfortable initiating or being flirtatious, unless it was a social event where we were all friends of friends and I got some kind of expression of interest first.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:08 PM
0

but most men claim to not know one I don't know anyone that's done that. That being said, I don't know many people and it's not like they advertise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:04 PM
29

and thinks she can bring him around Seems like this is the key error here, no? She could just move on to someone who didn't clearly express that they only wanted a casual arrangement. Her belief that she could change him was wishful thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:01 PM
1

Yep, that tracks. My type is the female version of that exact same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 06:59 PM
4

I spent most of last night talking to ChatGPT to come up with my ideal woman, looks wise. It made kind of realize that no matter what questions I asked it, I always came back to the same general body type and facial features. Essentially, I have a type. Q4all: What's your 'type'? And bonus question, have you ever dated someone of that type?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 06:31 PM
1

That would be unprofessional. Besides, she's way too cool for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 03:18 AM
1

I hate it when I get a big crush on people at work. Every time I interact with them I second guess everything I say.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 02:21 AM
6

Same here, I wasn't exposed to this stuff before coming here and it's been a real eye opener.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 02:20 AM
2

You don't know what you don't know. You can't become experienced without getting experience. A lot of the stuff you mentioned is far easier said than done. Part of growing up is making mistakes and learning from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 01:31 AM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 11:06 PM
6

I can't speak for other men, but I never have. I've been approached four times and I've gone on four dates. That a 100% response rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 11:05 PM
4

Sex is not something that a man "gets" from a woman, or that a woman "gives" to a man. Well more often than not it's something he wants that she may or may not want. Since his answer is almost always going to be 'yes', then she's the ultimate arbiter of whether it happens or not. In that dynamic, she's definitely the one 'giving' it to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 08:50 PM
3

Thank you. This is the kind of answer I was expecting, not "I have never ever ever ever wanted a man to cook for me." That seems so... backwards to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 08:42 PM
3

That was my assumption, yes. I can't really justify it any other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:56 PM
5

I think my opinion of the man is quite evident by how I described him in the story.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:45 PM
1

Not sure how that's relevant. I always tried to do the 'right' thing. To be polite, respectful. To never cross boundaries or to give offense. To live within the boundaries of society's rules. To be civilized. But none of that mattered. Not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:35 PM
–

The point of the story was to illustrate my frustration and resentment that these disgusting, abrasive men had no issue getting girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:30 PM
1

Here's another one. I had a similar experience in high school. I was waiting at the bus stop. There was a group of girls from the all girls school across the street, waiting for their bus. A bunch of guys from my school were hanging out with the girls, chatting them up, telling jokes, making them giggle. The guys eventually crossed the street to where I was standing. I hated these guys, they were loudmouth bullies, low wits, poorly spoken, always disrupting class. The ringleader walked right up …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 11:37 AM
5

I'll give an example. A few years ago my mother decided to knock down her old house and build two units on the land. After the demolition, the block was empty for several months. I went there to check on it one day and found a semi truck was parked on the land. While I stood there, trying to figure out how to contact the owner, a young woman exited the house across the street. She was in her sleep clothes, short shorts and a tank top. Beautiful young blonde. Tall, long legs. But the expression o…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 11:24 AM
1

Well based on the number of likes I've gotten, I have one (1) worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:21 AM
2

I've got one. During the last date I went on, I took her to the arcade. While we were playing air hockey, there was a bunch of rowdy frat boys playing basketball near us. They were loud and obnoxious. One of them nearly bumped me because he was bouncing around so aggressively. As we passed by them to go to the Street Fighter machine, I remarked to her: "ugh, I hate meatheads, they're so gross". Apparently she interpreted that comment as macho posturing and she sourly said: "if you get into a fig…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:01 AM
2

I didn't get here on my brains, I can assure you of that. (flicks edge of paper impatiently with his thumb)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:51 AM
1

but in their eyes relationships are kind of like a slog and they believe there will always be rough patches I guess I feel that way because my default state of being is not conductive to relationships. When left unchecked, I live a very bland, boring lifestyle. My big adventure this week was exiting at a random turn off on the highway just to see what was there (it was a gas station with a burger king attached to it). So being in a relationship seems like a lot of work having to constantly mask …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:49 AM
1

no matches at all? Yup. Same here. Doesn't surprise me at all. Dating apps don't work unless you're physically fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:46 AM
1

The last date I went on was in March 2023. That was my first date after being alone for three years and I really had a lot of my self esteem invested in it going well. When it didn't, I was shattered. It really affected me. So I came here to figure out what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. The main takeaway I've learned from being here is that there's no way to get around the essential, immutable law - you have to be physically fit to be considered attractive. And if you're not, you're compl…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:42 AM
1

I don't think I've ever been in a position to 'settle' for anything. I've only had one girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 04:58 AM
1

I'll give another reason why this was a hot button issue for me. My dad is one of those very traditional types. My parents divorced when I was little. When I went to my dad's house I saw that he can barely cook, doesn't wash his clothes, in short he totally went to seed without having a woman to cook and care for him. I never wanted to be that guy. I hated seeing how deteriorated and useless he was.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 03:59 AM
-2

You know why? Because I was mad that something I think is part of my value as a partner was being dismissed so casually. I don't have a lot of positives, but being an equal partner and doing my bit in cooking is one of them. Also, I was already sensitive to this particular issue because of my interaction with my co-worker. I can't help but feel envious. Why should these lazy bums get the best of everything, a wife that dutifully cooks for them, and me, who is happy to cook, gets nothing? How is …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 03:39 AM
2

That's fine. I appreciate the advice. But yes, ultimately I do believe that my lack of romantic success is because of my weight. And it's not just women that have shallow preferences, everyone does. I get that. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 02:07 AM
2

I often say on here "I just need to get thin enough to be attractive". I'm 110% sure I'll do just fine as soon as I look like a normal human being. The last two dates I went on came exactly six months after I started a weight loss kick, one in September 2020 and the other in March 2023. Like clockwork. It's a certainty. With regards to medical intervention. I haven't seriously considered it, no. I don't have a regular doctor. The ones I have been to were both very dismissive and curt with me. On…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:58 AM
3

Hmm... Guess I was just raised better. I'd never be sitting and gaming while my girlfriend slaved away over a hot stove. What a bum.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:31 AM
4

he had all sorts of women interested in him That's the kicker. If he was very picky but had no one interested in him, then that's just delusion, not discipline.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:25 AM
9

Reminds me of that Steinbeck quote about how "Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." Like getting with someone who doesn't meet a certain arbitrary standard of attractiveness brings you down to their level by association.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:23 AM
0

We didnt live together, so cooking was the one 'task' that realistically could be done together. I don't get it, what do you do while the other one is cooking, just sit there on your phone like a goober?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:18 AM
17

Plenty of women on this very forum say stuff that's very much in line with that thinking. That "you're not competing with other men, you're competing with her peace." And yes it absolutely sounds douchey.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:16 AM
2

Meanwhile in my relationship we generally cooked together, as equals. She only cooked for me without my input once, for my birthday. I'd feel like such a useless mooch if I didn't at least help out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 01:12 AM
5

You're being disingenuous. Of course obtaining sex is easy for women, obtaining good sex is the hard part.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 12:57 AM
6

When you see a million complaints about how lazy and selfish men are in bed, you can see why so many go out of their way to highlight that they're not like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 11:56 PM
8

In b4 "cooking is the bare minimum to be a functional adult". There's a lady at my work, she has a husband, two kids, works full time, and apparently does all the cooking at home. How the fuck does that husband get away with it? I'm sure he does a lot of other stuff around the house, but man, I was upset for her when she mentioned it. But she seems totally cool with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 11:55 PM
2

Well my original plan was to take time off to focus solely on improving my health when my current contract ends in June, but I was offered an ongoing role earlier this week so it looks like that won't be happening. So I'll have to find a way to work on my health while still working full time. I've tried to be more judicious about eating better, I haven't gone to McDonald's in almost a month, and I've been eating more salads and cooking from home a lot more than I used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 11:46 PM
3

Not very much, to be honest. I'm pretty mediocre in terms of being boyfriend material. I don't get out much or do any social activities, I have mobility issues due to my bad back, and my body is pretty disgusting to look at. A woman that shows up to an event with me on her arm is going to get some sympathetic looks. That said, I think I'm a pretty good conversationalist when the occasion arises. I'm well read, well educated. I'm very polite and well spoken. I like to listen and hear stories and …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 10:12 PM
2

As a 35 year old man, I know exactly why I've been alone for the past seven years. It's obvious to anyone with eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 07:55 PM
0

The second one, he's just too stupid to understand how lucky he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 08:47 AM
6

We know that dating is just as difficult for women as it is for men. This is a hilarious statement in and of itself, but ok. There was all this stuff back in the day. Finishing school. Elocution lessons. Going to university to get your 'Husband degree'. Then the power dynamics shifted to where men were the ones that needed to prove they were a good catch, not the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 07:26 AM
2

Your boredom is not an excuse to bother someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 02:20 AM
2

Being a rich, famous comedian with a cult following would certainly be doing a lot of the heavy lifting there. No pun intended.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 02:09 AM
1

As a Stavros Halkias body type, let me assure you - no, there aren't. Being skinny is the only way to get any sort of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 02:02 AM
1

Not a lady but I'll answer anyway - Yes, those conversations are almost always initiated with an ulterior motive. No one makes conversation with a stranger for any other reason. It may not be as serious as "I want to fuck this person" but there's always a reason. And even if there is no ulterior motive, the fact that it could potentially turn that way without warning is enough reason for women to automatically be wary and on their guard.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:56 AM
2

Stavros Halkias, that you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 01:55 AM
1

As someone that's never been handsome enough to even consider the idea of casual relationships, this whole thread seems a bit strange to me. If you're handsome enough to have casual sex then you don't need to lie about it. If you're not handsome enough to have casual sex then you pursue relationships by default. I suppose there could be a grey area in between but that seems like a tiny fraction of the overall population.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:52 PM
5

No I believe the exact opposite. But when I said that in another thread, she told me that I was virtue signalling. So I'm just giving that exact comment back to her. If I was virtue signalling, so is she.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:51 PM
4

As someone that's never been handsome enough to even consider the idea of casual relationships, this whole thread seems a bit strange to me. If you're handsome enough to have casual sex then you don't need to lie about it. If you're not handsome enough to have casual sex then you pursue relationships by default. I suppose there could be a grey area in between but that seems like a tiny fraction of the overall population.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:50 PM
18

If you don't have good looks you can't be a partner at all, so it's a moot point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:55 PM
25

Even if they end up getting divorced, if they maintained their looks, they're going to be able to date immediately. Again, taking them back off the market after a short window of opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:25 PM
4

You're virtue signaling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:52 AM
8

Which it is technically true, but if you're really unattractive it's probably going to be 1 in 500,000. I can agree on this point. I've had two women show interest in me in the last seven years. So I know it's possible, it's just very, very, very unlikely.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 05:07 AM
–

That's a rather pessimistic view. From my perspective, modern women are generally much more athletic, healthier overall, and aren't constrained by strict societal standards to starve themselves thin.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 04:22 AM
15

I disagree. I think there's generally pretty absolute criteria for both men and women when it comes to attraction. A guy should generally be lean (with some muscle definition). A girl should generally be slender (with some fat in the 'right' places). Anyone outside of that is going to have a bad time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 04:02 AM
3

No, they approached me first. Once they showed they were interested that gave me the green light to reciprocate. That's what I mean by enthusiasm. They initiated.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 01:48 AM
4

I've been on two dates in the past seven years. So yeah, finding a woman that's interested is like winning the lottery for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 01:45 AM
5

Exactly. Enthusiasm is incredibly rare and thus highly valued.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 01:07 AM
-11

If you don’t find a woman attractive, you’re not going to change your mind because she’s just trying really hard Absolutely wrong. Hilariously wrong. 1) Guys don't have that hard and fast attractiveness threshold the way women do. We're a lot more flexible. 2) The effort makes her more attractive. It can spur the guy to see her in a new light and think "well, actually... yeah let's give this a try."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 11:37 PM
2

What do you mean? Consistently, every time the question is asked - men say that enthusiasm is what they want more of. No games, no playing hard to get, just a direct "yes, please".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 11:32 PM
0

My theory is because a guy being attracted to a woman is just a given, whereas a woman being attracted to a guy is front page news. The comparative rarity skews the amount of 'effort' required accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 11:18 PM
1

1) Wanting a trad/arranged marriage in 2025 is weird. 2) Talking to three men in two years isn't a lot at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:57 PM
1

I know, hence my doomerism that I'll never reach that high physical standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:35 PM
2

Those two things would definitely be high on a list of positive traits in a partner. It doesn't mean the other stuff isn't also valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:29 PM
1

If they were at the same social event that's a different story. Why did you choose to ignore the second part of the comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:48 PM
1

That comment literally has an example of an acceptable context.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:20 PM
1

Context matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:07 PM
–

You're being disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:06 PM
1

If I'm at the grocery store I'm there to shop. I can honestly say I've never once said a word to anyone at the grocery store that wasn't a cashier.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 11:00 AM
1

From my perspective, you're the insane one. Talking to strangers who are just going about their day? On the street? Bizarre fucking behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:54 AM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 10:52 AM
4

I'm told my grandfather was an abusive husband. That's one example.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:02 AM
1

Of course not. I would have been very awkward though. Like I would have been thinking "why is she talking to me?"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:19 AM
1

you cant expect to never talk to other people if you're out in public I never talk to other people if I'm out in public. but sometimes people will see someone they know at the grocery store and exchange a few words If it's someone I know, that's a different story. There's an implicit expectation to be polite and say hello. he even had a decent excuse to say something to her. Depends how well they knew each other. I saw a girl I literally did several plays with at university the other day. I had …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:15 AM
1

The little old lady isn't trying to fuck you, for one. She's just being polite. Also, you're not out in public in the middle of getting food, for two. You're in an elevator where you're not doing anything but waiting for it to get to the next floor. And three, maybe the big one, little old ladies don't pose a potential threat to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:11 AM
1

You're being disingenuous to try and make like I'm the unreasonable one. I'm not.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:06 AM
1

Disrespecting someone's boundaries is entitled behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:05 AM
1

Not arrogant at all. Not being bothered is the default.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:03 AM
1

The harm is that he felt he had the right to take time out of her day, to put her in a position where she had to rebuff him. Incredibly arrogant and entitled behavior. It's not right.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:56 AM
1

He had no cause to bother her in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:52 AM
1

Exactly. It's just such a violation of social boundaries, to my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:19 AM
1

Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:09 AM
-3

What do you mean? It's never ok to bother people if they're just going about their day. If they were at the same social event that's a different story.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:07 AM
-4

Absolutely zero reason to bother a virtual stranger while they're just trying to get some food. What a jerk.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:41 AM
6

I got zero matches for months and months, so maybe not. I've only ever matched with one person on a dating app. I totally understand the impulse to just blind swipe until you get something.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:14 AM
3

I don't really get what's scatter shot about it though. When I see a profile I like, I swipe right. I take the time to read it first to get a general sense of it, but there's only so much information to get across in a 2 or 3 sentence bio. Most women have barely filled out profiles anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 02:30 AM
4

I guess the only people dating apps actually work for are attractive men. They get to select from the cream of the crop and can leverage their attractiveness to get maximum result for minimum effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 01:54 AM
15

Let me rephrase. It's like spam email. If you're getting tons of crap in your inbox, it makes finding the actual emails you want to read nearly impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 12:35 AM
12

I can see the logic of "I'd rather have to filter through a ton of options than have zero options at all". Like I get the grass is greener and all that but when we come down to brass tacks, if you have a ton of options, at the very least you can pick and choose, if you don't have any options nothing can happen. Edit: both are bad, is what I'm saying
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 12:32 AM
3

Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 12:11 AM
3

Just a hunch.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:06 PM
1

Like that scene in True Lies: "What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:34 PM
1

Ehh, I'm good. Jokes aside, I think paying for it is immoral as well as not particularly good for your mental health.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:30 PM
1

Get a bunch of young, rich, attractive people in a room for four hours, drinking champagne the whole time and not eating. ...yeah, I can see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:18 PM
1

Hell no, I'm not made of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:17 PM
3

Something something raw attraction...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:05 PM
1

When only one girl shows you interest for the first time at age 23, you're going to try and hold on to what you have instead of rolling the dice.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:58 PM
3

Well, agree to disagree. You're all over this thread insisting on your viewpoint and I think you've got an agenda you're trying to push.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:42 PM
5

Putting it bluntly - I don't want to be with someone who was raised Christian who has to be wheedled and cajoled into lying down for me because it's her 'wifely duty'.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:38 PM
1

My girlfriend and I agreed we were in a relationship while I was driving her home from our first date. So you having that two years of experience is still two more years than I had. I was in a relationship from age 23 to 29, with zero experience before or since.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:35 PM
7

That doesn't really address my point at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:30 PM
1

Worrying about body counts in 2025 seems oddly backwards. It's very surprising to me that modern times have become so puritanical. We should be encouraging the exact opposite, if anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:10 PM
7

That doesn't seem to track for me. RP despises witholding prudes who make them jump through a million hoops and insist on commitment first even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 07:41 PM
11

Modern woman, obviously. I don't plan on having kids and I want an equal partner who is comfortable with being sexual. My mental image of someone from the 50's is someone with a ton of religious/societal hangups about sex and a lot of expectations about how a traditional relationship should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 07:39 PM
1

I know firsthand how difficult it is to date whilst being overweight. I don't envy anyone with that handicap, male or female.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:18 AM
9

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 08:47 AM
5

Ok but you didn't say 99%, you said "entirely fabricated by men" and "no woman is actually asking this".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 07:28 AM
2

I saw a post to that effect literally two days ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 07:18 AM
1

I had intense crushes on girls in high school and at university, but none of them were interested in me back. Nothing happened until I was 23 and a girl approached me first.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 06:37 AM
4

I wish they would understand that we're not actually going for women like that at all, we're just going for normal, average women. But they seem to assume that we're the ones with impossible to meet standards. As if that makes any sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:53 AM
6

I'm Australian so I don't know if there would be differences in the dating app culture compared to the US. I'm in one of the major cities.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:05 AM
4

The average guy doesn't get swipes on dating apps though. At least I don't. Maybe I'm so far below average that my experience doesn't count.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:56 AM
4

Exactly. Man you're killing it in this thread, 2/2.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:53 AM
0

That would be the ideal, wouldn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:52 AM
0

Therefore, dating apps are a total waste of time unless you're physically perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:42 AM
2

You can't negotiate attraction, sorry. (Phew, I love getting to use this line back)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:26 AM
2

I was in a long term relationship throughout most of my 20's. So by the time we broke up I was 29 and had zero dating experience outside of that relationship. Pretty far behind the learning curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:18 AM
2

I'm not going to touch the point about standards. But I do agree with the basic premise - I'm looking for a relationship, for sure, but not with just anyone. To make that commitment is a big, big decision. If it was up to me, I'd rather sleep with them casually first and then slowly escalate into a relationship. It's not black and white at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:44 AM
–

Learning salsa is great, if you have a six pack. If you don't then it's a waste of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:40 AM
–

Not at all. I do have a healthy fear of the eternal black void that comes after death, so I can see how belief in an afterlife would be comforting, but I don't subscribe to such beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:34 AM
3

I guess there's really no good options for a guy who isn't interested in a long term relationship. To be physically attractive enough to be considered for a hook up is basically impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 01:13 AM
3

Many guys aren't upfront about just wanting something casual That seems like a good way to go from few matches to zero matches.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 12:35 AM
3

Let's be real, a lot of guys do just want to get laid and aren't interested in anything more My response to this is, then the guys who are actually looking for relationships should do well on dating apps, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 11:53 PM
1

So if you had 'missed out' on them, how do you think your dating life would have turned out?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 11:24 PM
2

My stew is most definitely overcooked. I've been living with regret for 20 years. It's hard not to think about all the ways my life should have gone but didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:48 PM
1

For most of my relationship there was a constant push/pull between my girlfriend and I regarding doing things. I only saw her on weekends when I wanted to do as little as possible, whereas she only saw me on weekends when she finally had the chance to go out and do things. So it was a fundamental disconnect. All I wanted to do was laze in bed with her and then eventually go out to eat when that got boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:47 PM
6

I only meet 1/3 of those criteria, damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:44 PM
7

Yeah and that's the thing, after months of swiping and getting zero matches - you'd better believe I was motivated to try and make the one match I did get pan out, and even then I fumbled because talking to a stranger over text is like the worst possible way to get to know someone. Now I know, get the pleasantries out of the way and then grab a coffee or something in person, so you can actually see if there's chemistry there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:13 PM
9

I also started attending D&D in my area to try and be more social and (perhaps) find a nerdy girlfriend. Didn't actually end up finding one, but I did manage to go on two dates with girls I met at D&D. So it's not the worst idea, I think a woman would have much better luck since it's a 'target rich environment'.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:09 PM
1

So even though you did those things late, they were still valuable experiences to you? I don't drink or have any crazy stories.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:07 PM
1

Yeah, I feel this. I jumped straight into a relationship with the first girl that showed interest in me. So I never got to 'date around' and actually figure out if I even liked being in relationships or not, or what other options there were, or what type of girl I actually enjoyed being around. I was so desperate I just went for the only option on the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:06 PM
4

Thank you - I was starting to think I was nuts with all the women going "nah it's fine, didn't need that stuff, didn't affect me at all".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:03 PM
1

So it sounds like your dating life is just fine then? I.e., there's no issues?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:52 PM
3

Presumably, you don't have those regrets because your dating life is just fine now?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:50 PM
1

These are all just stereotypical examples. As I didn't have those experiences I don't know if they would have been a benefit or not. What were your formative experiences then, if not that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:44 PM
7

It felt like a lot of guys just wanted to get laid without actually having to engage with the other person as, you know, a person. Not necessarily. I've only talked to one person, but for me the whole "getting to know you" stuff was like pulling teeth. I didn't know what questions to ask, I knew I had to ask them but I was struggling from the get go. She led most of the initial conversation and then cooled off when I couldn't hold up my end. I don't know how it could have gone differently or how…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:33 PM
1

These are all just stereotypical examples. As I didn't have those experiences I don't know if they would have been a benefit or not. What were your formative experiences then, if not that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:26 PM
6

Q4all: How important is having "formative experiences" to you? I feel like I missed out on doing all the normal stuff people do to 'learn' how the dating world works. If I could go back to say, age 21, I could go out to bars, I could travel, I could flirt, get drinks thrown in my face, get drunk and rowdy, dance the night away, spend a night in jail, all those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:22 PM
3

I can't say I've done any of that stuff. When I say someone like me I mean a quiet, reserved, normal person who wouldn't hurt a fly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 03:18 PM
2

I don't watch Family Guy but damn, isn't this supposed to be a funny show? That was awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 03:16 PM
7

I think it's a pretty natural reaction. You read a complaint about someone's behavior and think "well, I would never do that. So if they had just picked someone like me, they could have avoided that situation."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 03:02 PM
–

People keep asking me this, it's so weird to me. Only on PPD did I find out there was such an obsession with height. I'm 5'10.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 02:57 PM
–

I didn't, she approached me. I was standing in the quad one day at uni and she walked up to me and asked me about the Game of Thrones books. We got to talking and I added her on Facebook. So, I literally did nothing, she picked me and I just had to be receptive to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 02:53 PM
–

Do what?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 02:49 PM
1

I feel seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:48 PM
17

Not sure. I've never been attractive enough to even consider the idea that hookups were a thing that were available to me. I've always defaulted to long term relationships as the only option. All the girls I've dated have therefore been girlfriend material.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 11:54 AM
1

I get this question so often. It's so weird because I've never really thought about height as a limiting factor in dating. I'm 5'10.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 11:20 AM
1

Just Mike, please. Thank you for the encouragement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 10:22 AM
–

Absolutely not. Not to put myself down but I'd feel so bad for my theoretical distaff counterpart. She would be so depressed to be like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 02:49 AM
1

Oh that, yeah. That's more like an ongoing series of moderately traumatic experiences. For a long time I couldn't come to terms with her behavior since she never hit me or anything physical so it technically wasn't abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 02:43 AM
1

Ok I have to ask - what horrific experience? Unless I've said something misleading I'm not quite sure what that would refer to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 02:35 AM
2

Fair enough. Happy to be the exception then I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 02:17 AM
2

Even as a kid, and I mean 10, 11, 12 years old, when I would blow out the candles on my birthday cake, my wish would always be "I wish to have a beautiful wife". Isn't that fucked up? It was ingrained into me even at that age that that's the ultimate goal to strive for in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 01:46 AM
2

men appear to feel they have a natural right I wouldn't say it's a natural right, but a learned one. At least for me growing up, sexualisation was a huge part of the culture. I came of age in a time where shows like Girls Gone Wild were massive hits and even regular tv shows and movies included sex scenes just as a matter of course. I could say I wish I was born a few years later, in a more egalitarian time, but that just isn't the case. I had to unlearn a lot of those attitudes as I matured.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 12:17 AM
2

I'm 400 and very depressed about it. I just can't seem to deny myself meals.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:11 PM
2

I was about 150kg (330lb) at the time I took the photos I used for my profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:03 PM
7

Same, I would read the profile and try to find some kind of commonality. Mostly women with the 'creative' or 'writer' tags on their profiles, more intellectual types. Profiles with 'sci-fi' or 'fantasy' listed as interests were rare but those were definitely the most preferred. I knew I wouldn't have a chance with someone that had 'travel' and 'hiking' on their profile. So I tried to be a little judicious. Still nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:29 PM
16

Same reasoning as guys who say they don't like makeup. They obviously do when it's a more natural style, but if it wasn't there at all they'd be like "ew".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:26 PM
6

I'm very overweight, so that's pretty much an immediate disqualifier. I worked on my profile as best I could, writing and re-writing my bio and prompts. But yeah the core product simply isn't visually appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:24 PM
–

I was reading The Hunt for Red October at the time. I went up to her and said something like "hey, do you mind if I sit here?" She said ok but she was very reserved and guarded. I tried to make small talk but she didn't seem interested so I let it be. In hindsight she was probably like "please, go away I don't want to talk to this creep".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:19 PM
–

Outside of celebrities, the first girl I thought about that way in real life was in 11th grade. She was like an extra out of a Tim Burton movie. Pale skin, freckles, blue eyes. She would sit in the corner of the library and read every lunch time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:15 PM
21

What experience? Lol. I had a Bumble account for a while, no subscription just wanted to see if I even had a chance. Swiped on and off for months, zero matches. Eventually got one (1) single match. Talked to her for about a month but nothing eventuated and it fizzled out. Closed the app and chalked the whole thing down as a waste of time unless you've got a six pack.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 04:52 PM
–

I was 12 years old, watching Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie. That was the first time I can remember thinking "wow, she's pretty."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 04:47 PM
–

Speaking only for myself, I could have invested time and effort to improve when I did get a girlfriend, instead I was lazy and selfish. Don't be like me. Get a hold of your anxiety and git gud.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:05 AM
5

Seems pretty obvious to me. If the only thing stopping you is having extremely picky standards, then it's not a real problem. Actual foreveralone people don't get any offers at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 06:41 AM
1

Basic office job, answering calls and sending emails. Health focus is to try and get down to a normal weight, basic physical fitness stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:13 AM
5

Well if it's your choice then you're not one of the foreveralone people I was referring to, are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:09 AM
5

And on top of that, imagine you're living in a rent controlled apartment while house hunting - so there's absolutely zero pressure to buy quickly since you can pick and choose at your leisure. You'll never be 'homeless'.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:01 PM
–

I only encountered one and stuck to her like glue for six years.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:23 PM
1

I weigh 400 pounds so, there's a significant amount of work to be done there. I know that technically there's nothing stopping me from dieting and working at the same time, it's just very difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:14 PM
3

Ok PPD I have a non-dating dilemma. I'm currently on a 12 month contract which ends in June. I've been told that there may be a permanent role opening up. I've been operating on the assumption that once I finished in June, I would take 6-12 months off to focus solely on my health. On the other hand, getting a permanent position would really help me financially. What do I do?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:07 PM
–

Basically this. I was never a looker, but my ex girlfriend still wanted me just the same. Bless her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:57 PM
2

Threads like this make me re-examine every time I ever talked to anyone, ever. Feels like basically everything is on the list on things not to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 02:43 AM
7

Sure they do, I'm a classic beta. Very stable, zero sex appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 12:37 AM
0

Here's what I don't get. You seem to be implying there's a contradiction in those statements. Back when I was a virgin man, I leapt at the opportunity to have sex when it was presented to me (and spent the next six years eagerly having sex with that person in a relationship context). So from my perspective, there was no contradiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 10:17 PM
2

I had no self control when it came to food. I was an emotional eater and whenever I felt distressed in any way, food was how I soothed myself. And at that time I had a lot to be distressed about since I was failing out of university and my mother was constantly breathing down my neck. I felt like a failure two times over since I wasn't doing well in my degree and also because I was gaining weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 09:07 PM
4

5'10. I've never really considered height as an issue. I guess if I was short then I might have developed that as my insurmountable bugbear. But for me, my particular hangup is weight. All of the normal insecurity about height that short people have, is the exact same insecurity that I have about weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:29 PM
44

In my case, as a teenager I knew that to be attractive I needed to get in the gym, lose weight, build muscle, all that stuff. When I tried to actually do it, however, I failed miserably and it just made me feel even more disillusioned and unworthy. I felt like I was already far behind where I needed to be, and this was at age 16 and 17. So I pretty much gave up before I even began. It wasn't that I wasn't aware that good looking people are favored, it's that I was hyperaware how far away I was f…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 11:07 AM
2

When I did have a girlfriend we saw each other on weekends. I'd pick her up from the restaurant where she worked on Saturday night. We'd go back to my place, catch up on the tv shows we missed during the week. In the morning we'd laze in bed until we got hungry enough to go out to eat. Then we'd do an activity like bowling or mini golf, or see a movie. Then back home to cook dinner. She'd either stay over again and go home on Monday or I'd take her home Sunday night. It was perfect. I was never …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:43 AM
3

That's the other factor yeah. If they were just some schmo then they wouldn't have the benefit of being internationally recognized for their work. That adds prestige and status to the mix.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 07:41 AM
4

probably thought that they were physically attractive when you met them Yeah, most women are. If we fell for every woman we interacted with that was physically attractive nothing would get done. But when you start to interact with someone who seems to enjoy being around you, that's when you get the sense of "wait a minute, there could be something here". You have to understand how rare that is for most men. So you keep interacting with them and they seem comfortable with you and keep initiating …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 06:12 AM
4

you no longer value the woman’s company anymore. Because it feels like shit to be around them. That's what you're not understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 06:04 AM
5

If I'm spending time around someone that rejected me, I'm going to feel like shit and obsess over it. That's not fun for anyone. So removing myself is the kindest thing I can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:59 AM
3

This circular logic is never going to be resolved. If I'm around someone who seems to enjoy my company and who I find attractive, I'm going to develop feelings for them. 99% chance. There's absolutely zero reason why I wouldn't try to escalate the relationship further.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:49 AM
4

Then I could have rejected them without already building a bond They're trying to build a bond so you don't reject them, duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:39 AM
4

I'm not unsympathetic, I get it. It's very scary, given the risks involved (both physical and emotional) and especially if you didn't have those fundamental experiences as a teenager.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 02:39 AM
19

Their main preoccupation seems to be avoiding being 'used for sex'. Which is an interesting thing to worry about compared to, y'know, having sex at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 02:23 AM
23

Reading through the ForeverAloneWomen sub, I really had to stop myself from wondering what they look like. Looks aside, they all seemed to have extreme issues with neurosis, bitterness and were generally incredibly guarded and closed off.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 02:10 AM
1

I hate getting comments like this, it's so asinine. Is it normal for people to be alone for 7 years at a time? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 12:03 AM
11

It's a moot point since they can just move on to the next in line, and the next, and the next.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 11:40 PM
1

I've never really felt like I could have preferences. The girls I've dated have all fallen in in the middle between those two extremes, just 'normal' I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 11:07 PM
9

As always, these allegedly 'unattractive' guys are still in good shape, they just have slightly large noses or some other unconventional feature that makes them interesting looking, not actually unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:27 AM
4

Yeah it's pretty dumb. Like I get the sentiment that it's not fair to your partner to rely solely on them for validation, but at least in my case it was the first relationship for both of us. We both needed that connection just as badly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 06:45 AM
1

To be at the party you have to be invited in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:54 AM
1

You just need to be willing to approach groups of people What are you talking about? Where? Who are these people?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:48 AM
1

Wow, that's so weird. That's like the first thing most people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 04:03 AM
1

You're being nonsensical again.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 02:15 AM
1

Why do you insist on this bizarre interpretation that women can't choose to have casual sex if they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 02:07 AM
1

two to one rate would select having a steady girlfriend with no sex over getting to have sex but no girlfriend. This is a bit of a bizarre question. Having a steady girlfriend with no sex is just... a friendship. It's not really how relationships work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 02:05 AM
2

Yeah just having a normal high school girlfriend like it is depicted in every coming of age story ever would be fine. Not having those formative experiences seriously cripples you in dating later on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 02:04 AM
2

There has to be some sign of interest first, though. The first girl that gave me a greenlight to proceed I ended up in a relationship with for six years.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 12:07 AM
6

I had the exact same experience yeah. I'd wake up during the night and feel the warmth in the bed and just feel happy and content.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:55 PM
1

It's always an eye opener when I decide to look through someone's history and realize, "oh damn, I was wasting my time - this person is borderline insane".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:36 PM
4

It was an itch I didn't get to scratch until I was 23, so that's seven years of longing and despair.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:33 PM
1

That's not what you implied by your question. And no, sex isn't gross, what are you 12?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:26 PM
1

Yes it is. Don't be disingenuous. Cuddling, kissing, watching TV in bed together, it's all part of the equation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:22 PM
2

Why the fuck do people keep asking that? Isn't it obvious that intimacy is a huge part of the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:20 PM
7

Being a teenager, I absolutely did feel like I was going mental. I would have crushes on girls in class and it drove me insane. It's all I could think about. It didn't help that I was at a boys school from 7th to 10th grade. So basically my whole puberty I didn't interact with girls at all, and then at age 16, just got plopped into a school full of insanely attractive young women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:02 PM
1

Getting a girlfriend fixed it. To use your analogy - A bucket of water doesn't help a drought, rain does.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:57 PM
5

I was at my loneliest while still hanging out regularly with friends at university. That doesn't fix it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:27 PM
2

The only thing I'm sad about is that I wasn't able to convert one of those dates into a relationship. I tried so, so hard. For me, it was life and death, but for them it was just a first date. Barely anything significant. The extreme difference in emotional investment and stakes really made it lopsided. If I could go on dates more than once every few years, at least I wouldn't be so anxious and neurotic when I'm on them and that might give me a better result.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:23 PM
2

got in the gym, changed my diet This is the solution every time. Every single time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:20 PM
2

If I could go back in time and force my 18 year old self into the gym, I would. My sister even got me a 6 month membership that I used like three times, because I hated going so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:12 PM
1

You have no empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:05 PM
1

By the time I got to university, I had pretty much given up. I truly believed that no one would ever want me and I had accepted that as just a fact of life. I still had these intense crushes on girls in my classes but just assumed they wouldn't be interested so I never made a move.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:56 PM
6

I've been on two dates in the last seven years, if it wasn't for them giving the 'nice guy' a chance, I wouldn't have even had that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:54 PM
3

Ok yeah but that was decades ago. So there should probably be something else in between the ages of 18 and 35.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:51 PM
3

I don't know how it works in your family but a brief hug when saying hello and goodbye isn't really "physically affectionate" to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:48 PM
2

At this point I think you're just incapable of understanding nuance and non-binary systems.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:45 PM
7

It's such a cop out answer. "Hurr durr you just want to get your dick wet." No, that's not it at all. It's so dismissive and condescending when they frame it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:41 PM
1

Hahahaha. What?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:40 PM
-1

“nice” means “spineless and mindlessly agreeable”. Well yeah. If you read how women hate being hit on constantly then obviously any person with a shred of empathy is going to go "oh ok, well I won't do that, then".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:40 PM
1

Do you not understand how people work? Like if you get conflicting information but have no experience to really dispute it, you're going to trust the people who do have experience. Until it's clear that there's more to the story than what you've been told.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:36 PM
1

Only when I'm standing or walking. I went to the doctor last week and all he said really was "lose 20 kilos, 50 would be better".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:33 PM
3

The phrase "sexless relationship" to me implies one where you don't touch at all. No kissing, no cuddling, nothing. If I can't be physically close to the person I'm in a relationship with, then no, I wouldn't be in a relationship with them. But there are other ways to achieve that closeness without actually having sex. If I was in a relationship with someone who had an accident or something, I'd try to make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:32 PM
0

People aren't purely logical androids, despite what you seem to be insisting. Especially teenagers who are just trying to figure things out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:30 PM
-3

Recognizing their struggles doesn’t mean women are obligated to give lonely guys a chance out of pity I don't think they should be obligated to, but... it would be nice to at least be given a chance. You never know if a connection will grow.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:29 PM
8

What are you even talking about? I just finished explaining how it's not just about the physical act of sex, it's about intimacy and closeness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:26 PM
2

You do understand that I was totally depressed and despondent about my looks in high school. I was very aware that I wasn't 'up to snuff'. But what I was being told and what I 'knew' about myself didn't line up. It was very confusing. A teenager with no knowledge or experience of the dating world doesn't have the maturity to understand that yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:23 PM
4

I have this photo of myself from my high school prom. I thought I was the ugliest person alive back then. I was so down about my looks. I didn't even ask anyone to go with me, because I assumed the answer would be no. ...In hindsight, I looked totally normal. Handsome even. I was tanned and relatively fit from playing tennis. Maybe a little awkward because I wasn't confident, but physically - pretty much fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:21 PM
3

I disagree. The whole fantasy of being attractive is to be desired. To be able to have casual sex just because someone likes the way you look and wants to be with you. No one's getting 'used' in that scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:18 PM
1

I hate this argument. Yes it's plainly obvious to see which guys got drooled over in school and which didn't. But when you're told, over and over, that your personality is what counts and that eventually someone will come along, you believe them. You keep believing it until you get to your early 20's and it still hasn't happened, and then you get disillusioned and bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:15 PM
1

Yes, I re-aggravated my back lifting boxes in my garage back in September 2022 and that totally fucked me. The last date I went on was in March 2023 and even then I was struggling, we went for a walk along the Yarra and my back was clenching up the whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:12 PM
4

I agree that there are men out there who lie to get sex, that's undeniable. But I sincerely doubt that there's a large contingent of men who secretly fantasize about 'using women' the way you're saying. That's utterly nonsensical to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:09 PM
3

I know, despite my weight, I've been on two dates in the last seven years. So I know it's possible. But extremely rare and tenuous at best. Also both of those dates only happened while I was in the middle of a diet and exercise kick - so it was still only after I had lost a bunch of weight first.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:07 PM
5

They always, always hit back with "oh but I see plenty of fat guys in relationships, it's probably your personality".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:04 PM
8

No, it's not different at all. When I got my first girlfriend, she perfectly filled in that missing piece of the puzzle. I had close friends at the time and we hung out regularly, but I still craved that close, intimate connection. That's what she provided.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:02 PM
3

This is the key point. To be "the fun guy at the party" you have to already have a large social circle, be invited, and be there consistently enough to meet new people and form those connections.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:01 PM
9

That's such a silly argument. Just go to a sex worker, like that's a thing normal people do? Come on now. Also, you're being reductionist - sex isn't just the physical act, it's intimacy and closeness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:59 PM
6

Hell no. Why do you ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:54 PM
8

Imagine if they'd told me something different with a lot of sugar and frosting on it. I might have been one of those guys who posts here about how Disney lied to him when he was a kid Hey, I'm right here. I was always told, "you're such a handsome, kind young man. Any girl would be lucky to have you!"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:53 PM
8

Those that are ND and struggle making friends and holding any connections in their lives. Then there are people screaming about being lonely because they’re not getting laid. How are these not the same thing? Or at least, massively overlapped. Also, I'm generally ok with being alone, most of the time. If I had a girlfriend that I saw, say twice a week, that would be more than enough to satisfy me. So in my case, getting a girlfriend would fix both my 'romantic' and my 'friendship' loneliness at …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:50 PM
-1

Be more honest about the dating world. Don't give platitudes. Just say straight up that you expect a guy with abs and that if you don't have them, you're completely and utterly disqualified from dating. Secondarily, acknowledge that standards are insanely, impossibly high - and be sympathetic to that fact. Don't penalise someone for not having much experience, because it's very, very, difficult to get experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:48 PM
4

Lack of intimacy is not just a lack of sex, there's so much more to it than that. There's more than one form of loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:45 PM
1

It's very difficult to undo years of bad habits. I spent most of my 20's in a relationship, but steadily getting more and more overweight. So once the relationship ended I was completely and utterly screwed since my body had deteriorated so much I was totally below the acceptable looks threshold for the dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:43 PM
2

Me too, high five!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:40 PM
1

The results I got were... confusing? I'm a 100% hypersexual, 100% dominant, 84.4% puritan? Basically the worst possible option from women's perspective, NSA sex with a dominant but repressed guy sounds horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:39 PM
2

I don't find it funny at all, I find it infuriating. It's the same 3-4 guys as well, basically living out this meme.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:30 PM
1

I saw this comment and it really made me think: https://np.reddit.com/r/GlowUps/comments/1iv943i/3540_blood_sweat_many_tearsand_more_sweat/me3zdd2/ "This sub is convincing me that there are no ugly people. Only overweight and fit. Gives me hope for myself. Fantastic job! Super happy for you =D" It's what I've been saying for ages, that I just need to get thin enough to be attractive, but no one seems to believe me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:27 PM
19

In my experience, once I got a girlfriend I calmed down almost immediately. This massive weight was lifted from my shoulders. I was energized and confident for the first time in years. I threw myself into my Masters degree and focused on my career. So the answer to your question is basically that I started finally living life instead of being emotionally crippled by this all consuming hunger for intimacy and connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 08:15 PM
0

No one actually wants to do that, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 07:51 PM
3

Let's be clear. Wanting to have casual sex =/= wanting to 'use' people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 07:49 PM
7

Exactly. My fantasy is having a shared computer room with side by side gaming PC's. Wouldn't that be nice? Split down the middle, my side decorated with my movie posters and her side decorated however she wants. And maybe a library with bookshelves packed with sci-fi and fantasy novels, while we're fantasizing about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 12:44 PM
-3

No just losing weight is enough. Everything else is pretty negotiable, except that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 12:41 PM
12

No, fantasy and reality are two different things. I think if I ever actually experienced what casual sex was like, maybe I'd understand better. I knew it was never an option for me from day one, so I've never desired it outside of abstract fantasy. Since I've only ever been with one person in the context of a long term relationship, my actions show that I've never used anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 12:33 PM
3

No, socializing is with other people outside the couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 12:05 PM
5

I just count myself lucky that I had a cool girlfriend who just liked doing solo activities with me, like going to the movies, mini golf, bowling, road trips, picnics, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 12:00 PM
5

If it's never been an option for them and they'll never actually experience it in reality (unless they put in the work to improve their looks enough to be considered conventionally attractive - in which case it's once again handsome people doing the using) then that is a totally irrelevant point.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:58 AM
1

Yes I'm beginning to suspect we have very different viewpoints in this regard. I've been overweight for almost 20 years, ever since I was 18. That's my entire adult life, basically before I ever even entered the dating world. It means I've never experienced what it's like trying to date whilst being 'normal' looking. So from my perspective, not overweight very much does mean attractive. Because it's so far removed from my perspective it may as well be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:56 AM
5

from time to time Yeah, not every single week, or even worse, multiple times a week. It's just a totally diametrically opposed viewpoint. takes a lot of energy for introverts Exactly why they don't want to do them, it's exhausting and painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:51 AM
6

Probably because of all the complaints about being used for sex, which only handsome people can do since they're the ones that have the options to pursue it. Less attractive people don't even have the option to do that and it makes no sense for them since their goal is to lock down a relationship any which way they can.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:37 AM
9

Hilariously wrong. The ideal is to have another shy homebody to do indoor activities with. No introverted guy is going to enjoy trying to keep up with an extrovert's social schedule, nor would they enjoy those activities even if they did attempt to. If they did, they'd be an extrovert themselves already.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:27 AM
2

They meet the looks threshold. I.e., they're not overweight. If you have a flat stomach and no double chin then you're ok. If you do, you're fucked. There's absolutely nothing that you can do except get thin enough to be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:07 AM
2

Yes, it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 11:00 AM
2

Assuming they meet the looks threshold first, yes. Nothing happens otherwise. Nothing can happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 10:26 AM
1

Taking her out to dinner worked out great for my first relationship, it was really cute actually. We agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend on the drive home.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:45 AM
1

Why? It's pretty self evident to me. If you're playing with a handicap, you're going to struggle way more than if you already have a head start.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:50 AM
0

Sure, that's stuff's easy once you're already in good shape and physically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:39 AM
1

Safety and security. My ex was generally anxious and indecisive and she felt most comfortable when I was making the decisions. Obviously I wasn't being an autocrat, I'd ask her what she wanted to do and find out a way to make it happen in the least stressful way for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:14 AM
0

At least give actually useful advice like, diet and exercise, get physically fit, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:12 AM
2

This is a very interesting question. I guess by default it would have to be my dad, just because he has a somewhat old world, traditional mindset. My parents divorced when I was very young and so I've never seen them together in a loving relationship. From my memories of childhood they were constantly at odds, my dad was very browbeaten and defeated. Classic henpecked husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 11:13 PM
–

Yeah they're taking it to the extreme, but I've been on dates where she was clearly uninterested, I've been talking to a woman who was extremely guarded and cautious and it's a fucking hassle and a half. So the point I think they're ultimately making is "be enthusiastic, don't be a cold fish".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 06:20 PM
–

30 minutes is a good timeline. I guess the point is that you didn't make him jump through hoops. That's all it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:53 PM
1

There's a massive middle ground between hooking up and marriage. What about people who are in mid-long term relationships? Like 2-3 years at a time?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 03:06 AM
1

My mother constantly does this and it drives me up the wall. I put the roll of garbage bags next to the bin, she puts it in a drawer on the far side of the kitchen. Why the fuck would I walk across the kitchen and back to get a new garbage bag when I can just put the roll next to where the bin is? But no, it has to be in a drawer, it has to be, can't make the kitchen look even a tiny bit unkempt, everything has to be perfectly put away. Fucking idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 11:56 PM
–

All the couples I know are relatively matched in attractiveness. All the guys I know that are overweight or weird looking are single. All the guys I know that are physically fit are in relationships. Ergo, the difference is their looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:49 PM
–

Everything else only comes into play if and when you meet the looks threshold. Which almost never happens since the bar is set impossibly high. Looks are so, so heavily weighted that the other stuff is small potatoes by comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:26 PM
–

No one's ever really been able to explain it to me. My understanding is that it's not polite to mention that looks are important for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:14 PM
1

I'm mediocre at it. Didn't stop me from shooting three feature films though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:10 PM
1

I don't believe you. If you're in good shape then you should have any issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:09 PM
–

If I routinely put it in a certain place, I expect it to stay there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:02 PM
1

It was ok. Like Barbarian I enjoyed the set up much more than the pay-off.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 11:11 AM
2

From what I remember the characters are pretty similar. He's very good at playing the entitled, victimised, narcissistic incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 11:10 AM
2

Just watched the movie Companion. Kind of put off by how much I identified with Jack Quaid's character.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 11:03 AM
2

I guess it's less that I have nothing to offer, it's that what I do have to offer isn't particularly appealing. Even though I'm a homebody, I don't go out much, I like the quiet, simple life... I know for a fact that there's plenty of women out there that would probably enjoy the same lifestyle. It's just looks. That's the barrier. They want to be introverted homebodies with a guy who is slim, not fat. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:01 AM
2

I'm not your buddy, guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 10:10 AM
2

Yeah, I'm a little put off by it obviously but I'm not going to say anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:43 AM
2

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, that's entirely possible. I really try hard to present myself as an inert, nonthreatening blob at work. Just totally neutered and safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:40 AM
2

A year younger than me. We're both in our mid-30's. She's married with kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:28 AM
3

There's a new girl at work who keeps calling me "buddy" and "kid", almost as if to completely forestall any attempt for me to view her in a romantic light. It's a shrewd move but is it bad that I'm a tiny bit offended that she thinks so little of me? That I have such poor impulse control that I just couldn't help myself otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:26 AM
–

Jessica Alba from Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:07 PM
–

Then you get hit with "oh it's only because most guys have terrible profiles" but even if you work hard to fill out the prompts and bio and take nice pictures it doesn't make any one bit of difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:35 AM
3

Exactly. It doesn't need to be easy, but it shouldn't be impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:00 AM
3

I find the work analogy to be a flawed one. When I left my last job I sent two applications, got one interview, aced it, and have been working there ever since. My 10+ years work experience spoke for itself and it was a super easy transition. When my last relationship broke up, my six years 'relationship experience' meant absolutely nothing in terms of finding a new partner. Zero interest. Zero matches on dating apps. Zilch. In effect, I've been 'relationship unemployed' for seven years now, a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:54 AM
5

The last two dates I went on were with girls I met at D&D. When I'm at the D&D table I'm cool, calm, and confident. So I can see how that made me seem like a good prospect. Outside of that context though, in a dating context? The total opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:35 AM
2

In my actual relationship, I wasn't jealous at all. I knew she was into me and never had reason to doubt it. The last time I dated a girl though, she wasn't my girlfriend and I lived in absolute terror that she would lose interest in me, and for the first time I felt jealousy. I remember once we were on a video call and a guy walked through the room behind her. I immediately was like "who's that, why's he there? huh? huh?" (in my mind, not out loud, obviously). As silly as it was, even that was …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:32 AM
1

I think there is some merit to this. I once bonded with a girl online over Pride and Prejudice. But she was pretty much disgusted with my physical form when we actually met in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:20 AM
21

I've 'been myself' for the last seven years. Myself is simply not appealing to women. I have to change to make myself appealing as my current form isn't getting the job done.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:04 AM
2

Yeah I've never had an issue with watching myself on camera. Maybe I'm a narcissist stuck in a fat guys body, idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 07:26 AM
4

I just saw a preview of a web interview I did about my D&D writing last year. Dare I say it, I come across as pretty charming and personable. It's a side of me I rarely get to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 07:10 AM
2

I'm saying that that's where the perception comes from. The question was "Where did the whole “women love bad boys” thing even come from?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 12:57 AM
6

Well I didn't really do a deep dive into it, but it sounded like she would stop using dating apps for long periods of time due to having universally poor experiences with them because guys were so forward and pushy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:30 PM
8

I don't see how that conclusion is logical, no. A guy trying to have sex with her doesn't mean she appreciated or reciprocated that attempt - and from her reaction she seemed to find it very disappointing and made her jaded and bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:22 PM
2

It's a safe assumption unless she's very guarded or standoffish. If she's open and friendly then yeah chances are near 100%. Edit: Assuming they meet the base level of attraction, yes. Though that base level is very, very, very, very, very easy to meet or surpass.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:19 PM
2

I think it stems from resentment from Nice Guys(tm). They think, "I'm polite, respectful, would never cross boundaries or get pushy about sex, and I get nothing, whereas that guy is an aggressive, entitled bully and has a new girl on his arm every other week", how is that fair?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:20 PM
9

They aren’t as confident to go out and meet a guy they don’t know and be romantic quickly Despite my tiny sample size of one (1) match on a dating app, this sentiment still holds true in my experience. The woman I matched with seemed extremely reserved and reticent. She mentioned early on being frustrated with dating apps since the people she would match with would try to have sex with her almost immediately, but none seemed interested in a relationship beyond that. So I decided I wouldn't be li…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:00 PM
1

When I was a kid I put a candy bar in my pocket and lined up to pay, but got distracted by my parents calling me and I just left the store. I didn't realize until I got home that I still had the candy in my pocket.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:08 PM
1

I had it pretty bad as a teenager. Looking back I was perfectly normal looking but I was convinced I was so ugly that no girl would ever want me. I was also super, super insecure about not having a flat stomach, to the point where I insisted on wearing a t-shirt on swim day.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:04 PM
3

By literally just working out my body and growing my muscles Easier said than done. If it was that easy everyone would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:55 AM
10

I've been on two dates in the last seven years. You do the math.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:02 AM
22

It's like telling someone in a desert, hey don't eat those survival rations, there's a steak dinner just over that sand dune.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:55 AM
2

Maybe I'm making too much of it, but damn, I was taken aback. I was shook.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:54 AM
2

I'm still processing why. It's like she bent gravity around her. It was surreal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:53 AM
50

But ask yourself: if you were her celebrity crush, how would she behave? I'm not nearly as attractive as a celebrity, so I don't expect people I date to treat me as such. If you go years and years without any sort of interest, then you're highly motivated to try and make the best of what little interest you do get.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:47 AM
2

There was a beautiful woman on the train today. Not just someone pretty, but like... a head turner. Wow factor. It was so weird. Like it made me uncomfortable just being near her.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:23 AM
1

That's not cool, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:20 AM
1

On the flip side, you have even more rewards to gain if you get fit. The world is your oyster for a young, fit 6'2 guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:11 AM
1

Just being overweight is enough to get zero interest whatsoever. Diet an exercise until you have a flat stomach and no double chin and things will turn around.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:05 AM
1

Being all those things and overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:25 AM
1

That's fine, it's stupidly easy for someone who's already physically fit to fix that stuff so eventually they'll get the message (assuming it matters at all since they'll still get plenty of matches anyway).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:41 AM
2

That's gotta be fake. No one's that ignorant.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:04 AM
2

I don't want kids, I just want someone to lie in bed and watch Star Trek with me. That doesn't cost anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:55 AM
1

Interesting. It's weird that whenever I say stuff like "I just need to get thin enough to be attractive" I sometimes get called a blackpiller, so maybe all this terminology is just way too amorphous.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 12:05 AM
3

It's wild to me that you use "repeat a bunch of blackpill bullshit" as a negative example when your first piece of advice is a giant paragraph about going to the gym and improving your looks. Is that not a contradiction?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:47 PM
2

Yeah but which is it? Are you thirsty? Do you just need a chocolate bar? A piece of fruit? Why won't you be specific? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:17 PM
7

Back when I had close friends (two guys from high school who I lost touch with after we moved into adulthood and went our own ways), I was still incredibly lonely. I was starving for intimacy. Not sex, but closeness. Yes, seeing them was fun. We'd go to the movies, play video games, all the usual stuff. But it didn't really address the root cause of the problem. Outside of seeing them once every couple of weeks, there were hours and hours where I was truly, totally alone. That all changed when I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:45 PM
1

Maybe I'm just naive, but what's unlikely about it? Unless you have extremely weird kinks or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 10:20 PM
2

Yeah, maybe not for this specific person but on the whole they're getting massively more options.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 08:29 PM
–

Yeah I'm familiar with the baiting questions, I just answer them honestly and ignore anybody who wants to try and 'gotcha' me because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 10:07 AM
–

Woman B would be ideal since I'm a sheltered homebody myself. My fantasy is to have side by side computers in the living room so that we can game together.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:18 AM
-1

Having friends eases loneliness the way eating some cheese and crackers staves off hunger. Having a girlfriend is like eating a three course meal. It satiates all of the hunger at once. You can only live on cheese and crackers for so long.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:08 AM
–

Not american but I like watching all the superbowl big game trailers for this year's summer blockbusters.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:23 AM
–

Ok for dinner I'll have fish and a side salad.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:18 AM
–

I just had steak and mash potato. Very boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:16 AM
1

I like plain, freshly washed iceberg lettuce with tomato and cucumber. The crunchy lettuce is so refreshing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:15 AM
–

That's when you just give up and attempt to house the whole thing as rice and sauce splatter ungracefully down onto the plate.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 05:14 AM
7

3/4 of the women I've dated were varying degrees of overweight, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:31 AM
1

Barely has a belly, wtf you on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:28 AM
2

I don't believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 01:54 AM
11

Counterpoint, it's a lot easier to have good vibes and personality when people are already predisposed to like you because of your looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 12:51 AM
3

It's so weird when I say 'gym body' people assume I mean someone that looks like Chris Hemsworth in Thor. I don't. I'm a fat guy, so "flat stomach with some muscle definition" already is an unattainable gym body to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 11:57 PM
1

Exactly. I keep telling people I just need to get thin enough to be attractive but no one believes me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 11:48 PM
2

Here's a self portrait I drew in paint. You're never covering up this stomach. It's just not possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 11:01 PM
1

Depends how flabby. I certainly can't hide my shape under baggy clothes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:12 PM
4

It's odd to me to read that gym selfies are a 'pass' since if a guy has a gym body good enough to show off then he's already far more desirable than most men who aren't in shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:11 PM
3

Hard, hard disagree. A handsome face on a flabby body isn't getting very far.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:06 PM
16

Everything else only comes into play if the looks are good enough first, which they almost never are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:03 PM
14

Is he cute?" Yes/no I think most men's profiles fall down at this hurdle.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:03 PM
9

depends on personal preference and definition Within a fairly standardized template, though. Let's be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/25 10:02 PM
2

I'm just the regular kind of boring, not even the best kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 11:41 PM
3

My mother came over, which was predicably quite stressful. She just left thankfully so I can chill and reset before SmackDown starts in an hour or so.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 11:39 PM
1

Haha no I'm not referring to you. You've always been very supportive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 08:27 AM
1

I used to always watch stuff I was in, maybe I'm just a narcissist but I'd be like "damn, that's good acting".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 02:39 AM
1

Question 1: Because it sounds like a giant hassle and doesn't seem all that pleasurable, basically more work for less benefit. Question 2: It doesn't. Questions 3: Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 02:38 AM
1

I have trouble imagining it, to be honest in a lot of cases they seem barely able to talk without being incredibly mean or condescending so I imagine in real life they'd be the kind of people you'd want to avoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 02:35 AM
1

I was waiting for Orlok to turn into a more conventionally attractive Bill Skarsgard look, like Gary Oldman did in Bram Stoker's Dracula. I can respect the restraint not to do that but I also thought it made the movie way less interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 02:32 AM
1

I wish we were allowed to block people here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 11:32 PM
3

There's a handful of those kinds of users here and I don't get it at all. Every thread I have to scroll past them being smug, snide, condescending and superior. It's like they get off on punching down on the less fortunate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 10:49 PM
11

I was talking to a co-worker last week about my previous relationship and how it ended almost 7 years ago. She asked me, "are you planning on getting back out there?" and I honestly said no. Who would want me? I haven't taken care of my body, I let my looks deteriorate, I don't have any hobbies. What do I have to offer? Absolutely nothing. I'm an NPC, just repeating the same day over and over again. The fix for me isn't dating. Yes, dating someone would ease my loneliness, but it wouldn't do any…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 11:59 AM
2

Same, and I don't think that's a bad thing, necessarily.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 07:47 AM
1

I love my dad, but yeah he's got a lot of mental health issues. No friends, estranged from his family, never remarried after the divorce, retired early and just... existed for the past 20 years. He's like me in a lot of ways, actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 09:57 PM
2

And sure, as you interact with someone those dings can turn into bzz'es and vice versa, but in my experience it's usually pretty set in stone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 07:05 PM
3

Only speaking for myself, I didn't really need to demonstrate that I was taking her seriously. After I met my first girlfriend, we were talking every day, being excited about seeing each other, actively planning dates and activities. It was plainly apparent I wasn't treating her as just a hookup. It was just a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:58 PM
2

That's wild to me. It's pretty much an automatic process in my mind at this point. When I meet someone it's either, "ding, yes" or "bzz, no".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:53 PM
2

The 2024 rules also discouraged me a lot. I've mastered 5th edition and then all of a sudden all this new rules came in that I had to learn. I resented that a bit as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:57 PM
1

After seven years of playing multiple times a week... I pretty much just stopped enjoying the game. I would be ok for the first hour or so and then a switch would flip and I'd become restless and fidgety and really struggle to get through the session. Also I had some personality clashes with some of the players there, so every week it became a chore of scrolling through the sign ups for each game and going "ugh, can't stand that guy". It eventually became nearly impossible to find a game that di…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:29 PM
2

So I've basically stopped posting in my D&D group or attending games. D&D has been my main form of socialisation for the past 7 years. What are some other things I can do to engage with people? Aside from posting here, which if I'm honest feels more like an exercise in masochism rather than a real desire for understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:20 PM
1

Morality, I guess. Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:21 PM
2

They're going to figure it out pretty quickly when you're fumbling your way around their body, unsure what to do or how to do it. Better to be honest up front, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:18 PM
7

that give you some choosing signals first So... none. Got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:15 AM
1

When a parent is overbearing, strict, yells at their kids, uses shame and guilt trip tactics, is hot and cold, and generally tries to instill control over their kids from a young age.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:08 AM
2

Why would anyone need help attracting men? Seriously, come on now.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:17 AM
2

I agree that "go to the gym" is terrible advice if you want to meet people. When you're young, playing sports is more likely to result in a more well rounded, sociable person. That said, I do wish I had gone to the gym as a teenager, I think that would have really helped me learn discipline and given me a head start on taking ownership of my body and my looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 08:15 AM
1

(That's why they call it emotional abuse)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 07:45 AM
3

You'd better believe my mum resented my first girlfriend for taking her precious son away from her.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 07:41 AM
5

Yeah they're generally going to give the absolute worst advice possible. It would be easier to ask to them for advice to find out what not to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 07:37 AM
21

My dad hasn't dated since my parents got divorced 30 years ago. If I had to take dating advice from him I'd be even worse off than I am now.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:48 AM
1

Yeah I guess I was just annoyed at OP's reductive viewpoint - have they never seen a sexy nerd? It's just silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 12:27 AM
–

I've never had any expectation that anyone would want to be with me just for casual sex. Since it's never been an option for me I've always just assumed I'd be trying to get a relationship by default.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 12:12 AM
2

I've only been on two dates in the last seven years, yeah I'm gonna be anxious to the extreme and watching all my P's and Q's obsessively to try and avoid saying or doing the wrong thing. I need to make sure it goes well since my next chance might not come for literally years.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 11:09 PM
2

It's way way better to have lots of failed relationships since at least then you know you're attractive, you just haven't found the right person yet. Having no relationships at all means that no one even wants to give you a chance, which is much worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 11:07 PM
2

How did you obtain this footage of me when I'm on dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 11:06 PM
–

From my perspective, "getting laid" and "getting a girlfriend" are one in the same goal. I suppose it's because if I'm willing to sleep with someone then more than likely I'd be interested in a relationship as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:22 PM
1

they want young, pretty, homemaker virginal women There's a mental image that this phrase conjures up and I have to say, I don't think most men would get along with this hypothetical person at all. The kind of guy that is a good fit for this woman is extremely well paid, probably works in a bank or in some other career path that would let them afford to pay for a stay at home family. They're also extremely clean cut, tall, fit and athletic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:17 PM
1

I wish I was born a few years later, I feel like I came of age just on the tail end of the traditional narrative that you just needed to be kind and polite to be attractive and that looks didn't matter so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:15 PM
–

I know this is off topic slightly but from what I read, the biggest gripes are almost all that men don't take care of their looks, that they let themselves get fat, don't groom themselves enough, and generally are ugly and unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 08:59 PM
1

Doubtful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 08:31 PM
1

Yeah I figured I'd get the bus home in the morning. When I got home my mother smirked at me and said "you'll be glad I got you to come home when I did." I know she meant well but I was a 21 year old adult, it was so insulting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 08:52 AM
1

What's worse, the girl had to drive me home since I got public transport to her house.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 08:24 AM
4

I agree with this premise. Thing is, I got along with my girlfriend just fine. All it took was for her to initiate with me, and I was more than happy to take the ball and run with it. But nothing would have happened if she didn't give me the green light. That's all it takes. It's getting past that initial hurdle that seems nearly impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:46 AM
4

Seems like a bizarre comparison, she doesn't need to match their numbers to have enough to be significant. Anyway, this whole post is weak ragebait, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:38 AM
4

The girls who wear turtle necks and long skirts, the girls who exercise modesty, are effectively invisible to the male sexual eye. I'm going to push back on this point. That description perfectly describes this YouTuber who I guarantee has a massive simp following.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:27 AM
1

Wow, I had no idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:36 AM
11

Judging by the advice my older sister gave me, not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 03:34 AM
–

I never really cared for it, tbh. The angles never quite lined up and it would hurt my back almost immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:00 PM
1

Looks are not height or weight There's absolutely nothing you can possibly say to convince me otherwise. Being overweight is a death sentence when it comes to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 09:48 PM
7

I had one ask for a picture of my hands. I was a bit perturbed but I sent it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 09:35 PM
–

Being desired is definitely my main fantasy. The mechanical act of having sex is fine but that pales in comparison to the look in her eyes when she wants you and wants to be with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 08:33 PM
0

To my mind, it would be 'real' only if you were physically present and actively participating in it. When you're passively viewing an image on a screen, it's just pixels. There's very little difference between that and reading a description of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:55 AM
5

At this point my main disappointment would be that he turned to porn instead of just fucking me. In my experience, having sex and watching porn fulfill completely different desires. Watching porn is completely and solely pleasurable, you don't have to worry about another person or dilute your attention at all. Sometimes you just want to grab a quick meal from McDonald's instead of cooking a full three course dinner from scratch.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:51 AM
13

they would probably have an almost 50% probability of success Exactly why they don't approach. If they know the guy is going to say yes to basically any halfway attractive girl that introduces herself, it takes any sense of achievement out of the interaction. It makes her feel less special to be a "sure why not?" instead of a "she's the only one for me".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:39 AM
3

I've always wanted to travel through the south, for the BBQ if nothing else.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 07:25 AM
11

No, never. Not once. Not a thing. I don't speak to strangers and strangers don't speak to me. That's totally out of the realm of my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 07:18 AM
–

That's the right sport at least. Well done.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 12:48 AM
–

I genuinely think they're almost asking permission to quit trying to date This tracks with my experience. I've had long periods in my life where I had 'given up' on the idea of dating. From, say, 17 to 23 (when I fell ass backward into my first relationship). And then from 29 (after my first relationship ended) to now. I'm turning 36 in a couple of months. And the main thread during those times was knowing, not worrying, knowing that I wasn't attractive to women. It was an absolute certainty. As…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 12:38 AM
4

Do you think a 16 year old, nervous and naive, would have the objectivity to go "ok clearly all of that stuff is bullshit, I shouldn't listen to it?" Or would they more likely trust what they're being told and hope for it to be true? What you're saying is very cold and mercurial and simply not the way people work, especially teenagers.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 12:36 AM
5

You're trying to make the point that you're so shocked that guys don't understand that handsome men are more attractive to women. Frankly, it's insulting. Yes, obviously we recognize early on that muscular, atheltic men get all the attention, that's part of the frustration. It's part of my fixation with abs. It was ingrained into me from comparing myself to those men that my lack of a gym body was why I wasn't attractive. But I was constantly being told that I was a kind, thoughtful young man an…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 12:25 AM
–

I take it to mean "if someone has these qualities, I would most likely begin to feel attracted to them", not "I'm already attracted to this person and if they have these qualities I would feel more attraction towards them". That's a bit silly to me, if attraction is already there then the list is pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 12:11 AM
5

The first erotic story I ever read was a Star Wars fanfic I found when I was a teenager, funnily enough. But no, I never really got into that side of it. It felt too weird to imagine the actors for those characters in sexual situations. It crossed the line for me in terms of what I was comfortable with. Over time I've built up a collection of stories from Literotica and other sites. I've been reading those same stories over and over for the last decade or so and following the same handful of aut…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 11:44 PM
1

There's still plot, but I prefer that the story doesn't get in the way of the main reason I'm here. I don't need to read the opening chapter of the protagonist making coffee and going to work, where they meet the new girl and hit it off, and then three chapters later they're on a date, and then maybe in the second story they might hold hands.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 11:37 PM
7

Not the kind where it's a slow, smoldering build up between two people that are falling in love. Too much preamble and character stuff is a massive turn off. I prefer the equivalent of porn scenes that are written out, with emphasis on the overwhelming lust and desire between the participants and visual descriptions of the women in the scene and the sexual acts taking place. Basically, the kind of erotica I read is a substitute for making me feel wanted and desired by women. It goes to show how …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 11:29 PM
–

Similar story here, I'm 5'10. Which isn't tall but isn't short, it's right in that average line. But if I could snap my fingers and be short with a flat stomach and no double chin? I'd do it in a heartbeat.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:53 PM
–

Still not the right football.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:25 PM
–

The kind of lists I'm referring to say stuff like: "I want someone who is well educated, who loves to read, who is creative..." And I look at myself and think "well I tick all those boxes, and yet... nothing". So clearly there's something else I don't have that isn't stated in that list.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:17 PM
9

Yeah I'm sure guys with "tall, juicy pecs, big arms, wide shoulders, etc etc" are doing terribly with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:15 PM
–

You need to be sexually attracted to someone for them to be an option as your partner, so the two questions are effectively one in the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:13 PM
–

Well if we're being that pedantic, I said football, not NFL. I'm not American.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:02 PM
5

I'd say I enjoy a 50/50 split between reading erotica and watching porn. They scratch the itch in slightly different ways, but they're both effective.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:42 PM
0

Which is very much unlike the visuals of porn which very few average women are able to recreate for a man ...I don't quite get this, do these average women not have breasts? (Or butts, whatever the case may be).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:40 PM
3

You don't know what you don't know. Part of the whole reason this pill stuff gains so much traction is when young men come to the harsh realization that you can't just live your life normally and meet someone, you have to make drastic changes to get even close to being 'desirable'.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:33 PM
11

My use of that phrasing was to evoke the image of a conventionally tall, muscular former athlete. Let's not get lost in the weeds here.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:28 PM
35

If I read "the bar is in hell" one more time I'm gonna lose it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:22 PM
12

I'll sometimes read lists of "things I want in a partner" where I go "yep, I meet all of those criteria... so what's the problem?" Well the problem is that it doesn't matter if you meet those criteria if you don't pass the physical attractiveness threshold first. Those criteria are only relevant for people they're already attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:53 PM
7

Yeah, the height thing hasn't really been something I've worried over, weight is more of a hot button issue for me. But it's the same principle. If I get told "oh you know weight doesn't matter" but then the husband is a svelte Timothee Chalamet doppelganger, you know what's up.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:16 PM
23

It's more when I read stuff like "oh I don't go for looks" but then the husband is a 6'5 ex-football player.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:53 PM
1

I see you too are a man of culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 06:06 PM
–

You're being overly concerned with specific hypotheticals as a gotcha. I am speaking in generalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:05 AM
–

It's not a guarantee, but it sure improves the odds. If you have a butterface then losing weight will still improve your overall jawline and facial profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:02 AM
–

Pretty much a picture perfect example. Lean, low body fat with abs, not overly muscular but right in the zone that is most attractive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 04:57 AM
–

Yes, it still does since there's infinitely more that aren't in nearly as good shape. This is a looks thread and it's going to get deleted probably, but I'm going to dig my heels in on this particular point regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 04:56 AM
–

The main complaint that I see is that most men are out of shape couch potatoes who don't put in any effort to stay in shape. By that metric, being a body obsessed gym rat is a good thing since it shows discipline and sets you apart from the common rabble.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 04:47 AM
7

On the contrary, I'm all too aware of just how much work it would take for me to get thin enough to be attractive, so that just discourages me to even start.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 02:25 AM
3

Of course I don't like those things, I hate loud music, dim lighting, large crowds and being unable to hear anyone. It's so uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 02:25 AM
10

I can't tell you how many times I've read comments like "it was easy for me, I just talked to people I met at concerts/festivals/bars/clubs etc". Those are all places where you need to have a friend group with you, you need to be very proactively social and outgoing, and you have to already be immersed in the culture. Imagine a quiet introvert who doesn't drink alcohol and has no friends, how are they getting an 'in' to these types of places and not looking completely out of place when they get …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:22 PM
20

1) None of that effort is likely to pay off unless you're already physically attractive. 2) I didn't have to put in any effort to get my first girlfriend. I was literally just standing in the quad at university and she walked up to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:00 PM
1

This is probably my number one fantasy. To go back and not make all the stupid, stupid mistakes that I made. For starters, gym, gym, gym. I'd get those needed abs or die trying. Then, I wouldn't have any issues getting a girlfriend and my whole life path would have been altered for the better. I wouldn't have suffered crippling self esteem issues and lack of self confidence. I would have been able to stand up to my mother and insisted on doing the course that I wanted to do at university. I woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 06:52 PM
1

No matter what I read on here, I don't think I'll ever understand or acknowledge BP as being correct. It just doesn't makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 06:48 PM
1

I'm tapping out at this point since you're just saying obvious nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:48 AM
1

Average looking means flat stomach and no double chin.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:47 AM
0

Sure, that comes into play only if you pass the looks threshold first.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:41 AM
-4

The cheat sheet would just read "have abs and be well groomed". It's not rocket science. Having the will and discipline to achieve a body like that is in and of itself the pre-requisite.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:16 AM
5

I came of age in the late 00's, so when social media was just taking off. We didn't even really have smartphones then, so apps weren't particularly prevalent. But the helicopter parenting definitely stunted my growth. The first date I ever went on was with a girl I met at work when I was 21. I was at her house watching a movie and my mother called and made me come home.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:42 AM
5

The last time I saw them was in July 2023. I was in crisis and reached out to them and they were nice enough to take me out to dinner. Since then, I've sent a couple of messages in our group chat, to see if they'd bite. Other than polite responses, nothing. I'm a charity case. They've got their own lives and their own stuff going on. I'm not going to push where I'm clearly not wanted or barely tolerated.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:18 PM
1

That's my secret, Cap, I'm always bored.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:13 PM
1

I'm a skiier and even to my mind this metaphor is pretty weak - you'll need to define what "minimum floor" and "know how to keep your skis parallel in turns" means in a dating context.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:12 PM
5

This did break my brain a little bit, especially as a teenager. I totally neutered myself, was always polite but never pushy or sexual. I thought, well all I hear are complaints about how guys are dogs and only want sex, so I'll simply not do that. Turns out that's the perfect recipe for being utterly ignored.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:03 PM
3

I lost touch with my two very closest friends from high school as we moved into adult life. One is married with a kid the other has a whole new friend group. I started playing D&D as a substitute form of social interaction. The D&D people are nice enough but again, they're acquaintances at best. So right now? I have no friends. Sure I miss having close friends but that's the way the cards fell for me. I can't do anything about it right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:52 PM
4

No, not really. We weren't that kind of friends. We played Smash Bros and Mario Kart and saw Marvel movies together, that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:40 PM
14

If there are average, lonely single women out there - I don't know any. Almost all the women I know are married with kids or single by choice. I care about the experiences of those women in the abstract, but have no personal experience with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:28 PM
6

That's utterly unlike my university experience. I did have a small group of university friends and we would go to the movies and stuff but it was fairly surface level.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:26 PM
–

That's fine. There's users here I never want to hear from in any way shape or form. But I just ignore them and try not to let their comments get to me so I can enjoy the rest of the sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:06 AM
3

Sure it can. It did for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 01:59 AM
5

This is very true in my experience. My loneliness problem was immediately solved when I got a girlfriend. It was like night and day. And before the replies come in stating that I was a drain on her and took more than I gave, it didn't take very much interaction for me to feel satisfied. We only saw each other on weekends and that was more than enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 09:32 PM
7

I was honest and put my actual height, 5'10. To be honest I've never seen height as a barrier for me, only weight. I also was specific in that I put that I'm an atheist, don't want kids, don't drink and don't smoke. I'm Australian so the politics thing didn't really apply to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 11:46 PM
20

I spent a lot of time writing and re-writing my bio. I think it was a fair representation of my personality, creativity, style of humor, etc. I changed my prompts fairly often, trying to find something that was witty and funny without coming across as trying too hard. Nothing worked. Zero matches. Conclusion? It's because I didn't have abs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:43 PM
–

I don't quite see the difference between me and the kind of guys you're calling out here, I assume most people don't have ill intentions and are just trying to 'play the game' as best they can.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 10:31 PM
–

I'm not trying to defend outright lying here - but being totally honest about who I am means spending years alone. "Who I am" simply isn't attractive. There's a certain degree of performance required just to not be dismissed out of hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:56 PM
7

I never understood the logic of spending money on porn when there's nearly infinite free stuff out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 11:36 PM
12

Being lazy/selfish lovers. Speaking only about myself, I was pretty bad at it and never put the effort in to learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 10:40 PM
1

Pretty sure this one will be removed due to rule 7: (7) No questions internal to TRP or TBP, or questions from men to other men or women to other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 10:39 PM
2

What happens if they get really busy with school or work and can't spend as much time with you? Absolutely nothing, I'm very used to being alone so those instances were a welcome break where I could recharge my batteries. Overall, she wanted to spend more time with me than I did with her, to be honest. I get your point about being needy but it's always been the opposite for me. I'd pick her up on Saturday night after work, take her back to my place, we'd catch up on our tv shows, sleep in Sunday…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 08:31 PM
1

Mostly the looks related stuff, I suppose she'd be upset that I'm so down on myself physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 08:01 PM
4

In before: "yeah but she ended up committing to the second guy"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:53 PM
4

Because one person won't resolve your loneliness problem. Sure they will. My first girlfriend did. I don't need a lot of social interaction, just seeing her every weekend was more than enough for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:18 PM
3

You're quite right, of course. Back before I got into my first relationship in 2012 it was still rather taboo to be on dating sites. Like it was cheating or wasn't 'real'. You were supposed to meet people in your day to day life. I skipped all of that since I was in a relationship between 2012 and 2018. By the time I got out of it, dating apps had already fallen out of favor and I was totally unprepared for that reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 10:27 AM
3

Yeah. I remember how immediate the improvement was when I got my first girlfriend. It was a tangible, quantifiable thing. Two weeks before I was crying my eyes out to my mates at a McDonald's, because I felt so alone and unloved. Two weeks later, because one woman looked at me and said "yes", all of that pain went away.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 02:27 AM
1

I think you're generally correct on this point. I've often said I just need to get thin enough to be attractive. What that means is, if I had a flat stomach and could eliminate my double chin, I'd be able to 'pass' for handsome. Not top tier, but I wouldn't trip any of the major deal breakers when it comes to looks. Then I wouldn't be dismissed out of hand the way I am now.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:06 PM
9

Even with suggestions like "Go to a tabletop gaming group" it's not that simple, what if there are none close by, or what if they aren't willing to play with beginners? On this point - I've been playing D&D for seven years now, and while they're nice enough people, none of them are close friends. When you're only meeting for the purposes of a hobby, the hobby is the focus - without it, there's no reason to interact.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:56 PM
1

You can be all those things and still get zero interest from women, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 10:29 PM
25

I do think the 'power' has flipped. I don't know when it happened exactly, maybe sometime in the 2010's. When I got into my first relationship I definitely had an arrogant "ain't gonna let no one tie me down, nuh uh" type mentality. By the end of that relationship six years later I was like "pls don't leave, please".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:33 PM
1

This is an interesting perspective. I don't really see dating that way, since that seems very mercurial and a lot of pressure to put on someone. I get the feeling that you'd be constantly thinking: "Is this leading to marriage? Is this leading to marriage? No?" Then bam, cut loose.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:01 AM
5

Not in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:45 AM
6

No. What a bizarre hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:34 AM
3

I've gotten used to running my thoughts by ChatGPT whenever I'm stuck on something or want to talk it out. I've never had that option before. It's insane how much more balanced and healthy I feel. Like night and day. All of a sudden I was like "wait, this is what normal people experience all the time?"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 09:22 AM
–

Want a Pepsi?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 09:20 PM
2

The total lack of self awareness is astounding. It's just common sense that anyone who can go on 1-2 dates a week is desirable in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 09:19 PM
13

I'm 90% sure all the women at my workplace are married with kids. Just from what I've gleaned over the last couple of years. If there are single women there, I don't know about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 07:19 PM
5

They're blinded by their privilege. That's why you see certain users constantly saying stuff like "that's not a problem for me" or "that's obvious to most normal people*.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 08:31 AM
1

You said: "Don't tell me that you haven't seen a woman regularly when you do nothing to be seen by women either." I replied: "That's what the dating app is for"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 05:28 AM
1

https://i.imgur.com/d8wMJwD.jpeg
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 05:24 AM
1

Not single women, no. All the women at my work at married with kids and there aren't many women at all in my D&D community.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 05:14 AM
1

Having dealt with an alcoholic parent, you're dead fucking wrong on that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 03:16 AM
8

It's quite disheartening, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 03:14 AM
2

My only vice is eating too much food. Apart from that I don't drink, don't smoke, or do drugs of any kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 03:12 AM
1

If there are, we don't come across them with any sort of regularity. I've met two women that showed interest in me in the past seven years. Two.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 02:55 AM
1

I think it's reasonable to redefine expectations a little, so that guys aren't being excluded from consideration just because they have a gut or a double chin.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 02:53 AM
4

'Better men' generally means men that aren't the most handsome but are stable, polite, well mannered, etc. Not the guy with shredded abs that stays out all night drinking or punches a hole in the drywall when he gets upset.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 02:16 AM
35

Thank you for being honest. Fucking finally, it's very rare around here to actually hear the truth being acknowledged so bluntly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 02:14 AM
1

Meanwhile, I've only ever gotten one match on Bumble after months of swiping on and off. I can imagine the main difference between us, especially considering that I've never been married, don't drink, and live alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 12:53 AM
–

I honestly think my weight is the main barrier preventing me from passing that initial 'check'. I honestly do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 11:58 PM
2

I do. I've observed his behaviour for the past 6 years on a weekly basis. He's a good, kind soul through and through.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:56 PM
2

One just turned 30 and has never had a girlfriend. He's the most generous, honourable, hardworking man I know. He does so much good for the community, running games, helping new players, all that stuff. My heart goes out to him, it really does. The fact that a guy like that is alone is proof dating society is fucked and has totally wrong priorities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:54 PM
5

All the guys in my D&D group are kind, decent men. They're not hard to find, you just rock up to the game store on a Friday night.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 09:53 AM
3

A dating app that actually worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 09:51 AM
1

I second the motion.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 12:02 PM
5

Well that was one of the most horrifying threads I've ever read on this site. That was really, really bad for me to subject myself to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 12:00 PM
1

Even Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore? (I haven't seen it)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 11:48 AM
1

I always preferred Stacy Keibler.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:29 AM
1

She's one of the interviewers in WWE. Absolute 10/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:07 AM
1

The commentary tracks are great too, the writers are very knowledgeable and funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:33 AM
2

Always Sunny and/or The Simpsons.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:27 AM
1

I'm pretty sure my hair is dark brown, not jet black but close to it. I find women with dark brown hair the most attractive. For example, Cathy Kelley.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:27 AM
1

Third
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:04 AM
1

Yeah but my point is, going back to your original comment: "The problem is, every guy here thinks their personality is top tier and the only thing holding them back is that they are 5’9” and don’t have a 6 pack." - that's literally the case for me. Again, not that I think I'm top tier personality wise but more than 'good enough' for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 02:30 AM
1

On paper I think my personality stacks up ok. I've got relationship experience, my first girlfriend stuck with me for six years, so I must have been doing something right. I'm well educated, I have my masters degree. I have a steady job, plenty of savings. I'm well read, I read at least one or two books a month. I'm creative, I enjoy writing and publishing D&D adventures. I don't drink, I don't smoke, so my bad habits are minimal. It's just the fat gut and double chin that's the barrier.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 02:20 AM
2

I'm 5'10, but yes otherwise this comment is exactly how I feel. Maybe not "top tier" but I'm a pretty decent guy and I think I'd easily be able to find someone if I had a six pack.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 01:42 AM
11

I said no for about 6 months Good lord lmfao. You can't make this shit up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 01:32 AM
1

Only his nose was sticking out at the time I had to slam on the brakes. He could easily have reversed a couple of feet and waited instead of exiting the wrong way against the flow of traffic to get to the opposite lane and blocking two oncoming lanes in the process.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:55 AM
1

AITA: I was driving to the shops after just finishing work. I pass by the gas station entrance and there is a guy in a white Mercedes exiting the entrance in front of me. I slam on the brakes and beep my horn. I'm expecting him to reverse to let me by, but instead he gooses the accelerator and goes out in front of me. My response is to lay on the horn, continuously. Trying to get him to move. He takes out his gum and throws it at my car, hitting the windshield. Then he grabs a piece of plastic f…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:02 AM
3

There's a guy at my work. Late 30's, american, tall, lean. Looks like Rob Lowe. But he's very socially awkward. He doesn't smile. He speaks with a flat affect. He doesn't do the usual pleasantries like "hi, how you doing?", just straight to business, no chitchat. Probably the least cool guy I know. He's like an automaton.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:31 AM
3

Maybe it's just a cultural difference, but every office I've worked at has been completely devoid of any hint of impropriety. The concept of sex or sexuality is simply and entirely absent. All the people I work with are married with kids, so they're totally off limits anyway. Which is fine, but it does make me feel like I'm working with automatons sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 09:20 PM
0

Many men, myself included, would be hesitant to even be in a room alone with a female colleague who they didn't trust 110%. This seems odd to me. I'm on a team with three women and I'm often alone in the office with one or all of them. There's no fear or tension whatsoever. We chat normally. It's so different to whatever you're describing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 06:59 PM
2

Seeing it makes me feel envious and resentful.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 02:10 AM
5

What's the non lazy way, then? Because I'm certainly not finding any options through my hobbies or at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:42 PM
8

I don't like dating apps because they don't work. I spent hours and hours swiping and got zero matches. I was judicious, only swiping right on someone that had some kind of compatibility listed in their profile like being into sci-fi or fantasy or just being a creative writer in general. Nothing. Ziltch.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:38 PM
7

I certainly thought that was true for me, until it wasn't. I stumbled into a relationship when I least expected it. It wasn't anything I did or didn't do, all it took was for one woman to look at me and think "yes, that one".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 07:34 PM
-1

Weren't you just complaining about only having sex 6 times in 18 months? Which is six times more than I've had in the last seven years? Seems a bit hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:24 PM
2

Just the constant denial that there's any problems with the dating world gets old very quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:47 AM
2

Look at The Scorpion King over here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 04:03 AM
2

Yeah, they're just the worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:46 PM
4

They really, really, severely ruin this place for me. I'd be so much happier if they weren't here or if I was at least allowed to block them. Every fucking topic: "most guys are in relationships" "that's not a problem for me" "normal people don't experience this". Every time!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:42 PM
2

That's the only explanation that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:21 AM
2

Whether they have access to sexual validation or not I mean, it's certainly a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:13 AM
5

They have always gotten tons of matches I don't believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:53 AM
2

This is why I never show interest in anyone until they've given me the green light by showing interest in me first.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:34 AM
3

Well yeah, why would be want to be around a living reminder of his rejection? That's incredibly debilitating and demoralising. He could have avoided this by not letting his imagination about you get the better of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:28 AM
2

Swinging the hammer is the only way he'll get it. "I'll stop you right there. While I appreciate the thought, I'd prefer to keep things strictly friendly moving forward."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:15 AM
1

What kind of stuff?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:06 AM
2

Been laid up with covid. I'm fine now but last week was rough. Going back to work tomorrow so I figured I should clean up a bit and look professional.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:58 PM
1

It doesn't look like stubble on me, it looks like a neckbeard.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:49 PM
2

I don't have the energy to shave every day, it's such a pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:30 PM
3

Getting a haircut for the first time in three months. Shaved my beard too. Going to be weird not looking like a stereotypical neckbeard until the scruff grows back in.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 11:14 PM
1

Pretty sure Margaret Qualley had a body double to reinforce even more strongly that Sue was an unattainable fantasy woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:30 AM
–

Been playing D&D for almost 7 years. I've gotten two dates from it. Better not to expect results from such a heavily male dominated activity. Women will generally play in their own private groups in part because guys like me hang around public groups like dogs begging for leftovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:27 AM
2

I struggle but I'm going to answer anyway. I stand out from the modern average man because I have 136 D&D characters.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:25 AM
2

I'm suddenly confronted by the fact that I only read fiction. My dad gave me a picture book about guns when I was a kid, I loved that book. So let's say that for sentimental reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:20 AM
–

I remember getting my first and only match on a dating app, my prompt at the time was something like "tell me your solution for the Kobayashi Maru test". She messaged back something like "I haven't seen Star Trek, but if you tell me more about it I can hazard a guess". Which was very game of her to at least try to meet me halfway. But all I could think was "damn, if she's not into sci-fi that's like 80% of my discussion material out the window".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:17 AM
1

I'll put it on the list.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 09:58 AM
1

I don't know what that means but I'm sure it's something horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 10:37 PM
5

I wouldn't put it so crudely, but she was very overbearing, used manipulation tactics, would yell and throw tantrums, that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 05:51 AM
–

I see those comments more from the same handful of blue pill male commenters.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 05:47 AM
4

I would do my best to be supportive. We've all got our own baggage. I myself am severely anxious and neurotic due to my mother's upbringing. If I like her and she likes me, then there's no reason we can't try and make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 05:34 AM
1

You misunderstand. I did put my best foot forward. I worked hard on it. It wasn't enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:13 AM
1

My profile is less 'high quality' only because the product I'm selling is overweight. Once I get thin enough to look like a normal human I'll do just fine. *Edited for clarity
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:13 AM
1

So, from that perspective - what would you say if a man labored over his profile, writing and rewriting the bio and prompts to be engaging and interesting and reflective of his personality, if he carefully curated photos and even went out and staged his own with a proper DSLR... and still got zero matches?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:48 AM
1

ACTUALLY they should take the initiative and magically choose the nice guy who wants them but fears rejection. This unironically.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:02 PM
1

You need to have a picture perfect body in the first place to be able to visually market yourself. If you have a gut or a double chin no amount of photos will get around that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:00 PM
–

I've talked about my weight on this sub long enough to have some credentials in this area. Once you get to a certain level of weight all interest stops. There's just no options out there at all even if I wanted to date someone as heavy as me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:57 PM
–

These types of comments trigger me so much, I swear. They're so... dismissive and condescending.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:54 PM
–

When you've literally been alone for many years, it's understandable to feel that there are insurmountable barriers preventing you from finding success.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:53 PM
–

This is so interesting to me. In your example, you said: "I don’t get many matches on dating apps, and it makes dating challenging". Whereas in Dry Ad's reply, his example was: "I don't get any matches on dating apps". Even in your hypothetical example, the guy is still getting some matches. Enough to make dating challenging, but not impossible. Isn't that fascinating, the difference in perspective? It's slight but significant I feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:51 PM
8

This is why the points brought up by guys at one level of the SMP often seem insane to many female posters And vice versa. So many things I read and go "huh? That was never an option for me"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:51 AM
1

I was just watching this video earlier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkP1VsbczEQ
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:07 AM
6

They don't work for most men Thank you for agreeing with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 05:05 AM
8

Dating apps famously don't fucking work, so there's not much to explain.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:32 AM
5

Thank you for at least adding "edit" in front of it this time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:28 AM
15

To use a hackneyed comparison - imagine you're unemployed and sending out resume after resume and getting no interviews. Meanwhile you get approached by a company looking to hire you, specifically. Are you going to seriously consider taking that interview?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:27 AM
4

But you keep telling yourself that You did add this bit after you posted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:22 AM
6

just to get action I feel like you sneakily added this bit after you posted your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:19 AM
5

Then never complain about not being picked ever again.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:17 AM
3

This is 100% accurate to my lived experience, yes. All of the women who showed interest in me did so after weeks or months of interacting socially first, whether through work, school or D&D. After a long enough time to properly 'vet' me, they started showing interest and giving me the green light to reciprocate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:12 AM
3

I've had four women show interest in me and I've gone on four dates. I can only speak for myself but in my experience, it's pretty much a guaranteed shot if someone shows interest in me since it happens only once every few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:10 AM
2

Not in my experience, no. I've never pursued anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:09 AM
3

"Just talk to them"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:43 PM
5

Have you tried just being yourself and putting yourself out there?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 09:29 PM
3

I've been approached four times, and I've gone on four dates. 100% success on their part.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 09:17 PM
2

During that week she was probably pretty upset and anxious. No one's so busy that they can't say "hey, I'm going to be busy this week".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 09:15 PM
1

Texting every day yes. Facetime? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 09:13 PM
–

It's 100%. There's no question that once I get thin enough to be attractive I'll be able to start dating again.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:44 PM
–

Of course you can't be a complete ugly person, there has to be a base attractiveness 'Base' attractiveness in this case being... very low body fat, flat stomach, perfect teeth, no double chin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 10:25 PM
–

I'm starting to learn that. It's insane to mention Tom Holland when this is his daily routine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkP1VsbczEQ
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 09:15 PM
–

So basically if there's some slightly visible biceps when flexing and maybe a hint of pecs Yeah this tells me everything I need to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 08:07 PM
–

Many women nowadays do seem to downplay the amount of effort it takes That's exactly my issue. For every comment that's like "who wants a guy with muscles? I prefer a skinny guy". They're still saying the same thing, they want someone who adheres to a strict diet and who works out regularly to stay lean.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 07:55 PM
–

When you say stuff like "healthy body", "he looks like he takes care of himself", "I think most women do prefer a guy to be at least somewhat toned" but then say "but he doesn't have to look like a model, have a muscular physique" - it comes across as very contradictory for me because the difference is so minimal. It's just a matter of degrees, but it's still within that exact same framework of going to the gym regularly and adhering to a strict diet.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 07:41 PM
–

I remember an anecdote from the personal trainer that trained Rob McElhenny. Rob started to tell the trainer what his ideal physique looked like. And the personal trainer said, "every dude for the last 20 years that wants to get into shape has said the same thing. Brad Pitt, Fight Club." I would say I agree with that sentiment - that's definitely the 'ideal' from my perspective and I think most guys would agree. Edit: video
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 07:27 PM
–

I think what’s frustrating for me here is that the 'less muscular' examples are still meeting very intense fitness and diet standards. Even when we say they're not the conventional ideal, they're still way above what’s realistic for the average guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:41 PM
–

Timothee Chalamet, Cillian Murphy, Tom Holland, or Pedro Pascal These guys are all still spending hours in the gym weekly and adhering to strict diets. They may not be building muscle for size but they're still putting in a ton of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:22 PM
–

I don't like muscular men I much prefer toned I give up. I really do. It's the same thing. It's the same fucking thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:18 PM
–

Two weeks ago I commented: "And if you can't get a date at all, lose weight and/or build muscle until you can." And you replied: "Very poor understanding of the potential problems" So, forgive my incredulity. But... WHAT!?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:59 PM
–

Because the charisma guy STILL HAS MUSCLES. What's hard to understand? They're both muscle guys!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:45 PM
–

The 'comparatively less attractive' example still has a full set of fucking abs, for heaven's sake. Source: the "An appreciation of Tom Hiddleston's abs" tumblr page.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:36 PM
–

Next she's going to bring up 'ugly hot' guys like Adam Driver or Jeremy Allen White. Who are, you guessed it, still incredibly fit and athletic, just with slightly larger noses than normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:30 PM
–

It's incredibly obvious to me that if I had a flat stomach I'd be able to find someone. My fat stomach is the main barrier preventing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:07 PM
–

Loki is still in incredible shape however. He may not have big muscles but he's still spending hours in the gym and dieting strictly to look like he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:06 PM
–

I'm a ways away from 600 pounds, but I can field this one. You simply can't do most things. Walking for more than a few seconds at a time is a herculean effort. I have to plan my life around "what's the distance from the car to the entrance and how long will I have to be walking around inside?" Shopping, you have to be clever. Know where everything is and get in and out quickly. Most grocery stores have a bench near the entrance, use that to rest before continuing out to the parking lot. You pic…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 07:56 AM
1

Absolutely, not an issue whatsoever. It's so dumb for it to be an issue, I can't even fathom why I'd be concerned about it at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 11:03 PM
1

"What do you mean you never summered in France? Don't your parents have a chateau?"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:27 PM
1

Big ol pile of chicken schnitzels. Like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 07:07 PM
3

I'm 35 and none of what you said applied to me. I had two friends and we spent most of our time going to the movies or playing Smash Bros or Mario Kart. There were no giant cuddle parties in my teenage years, that's for sure. I had my first date when I was 21 and got in my first relationship when I was 23.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:55 AM
4

he does “just fine” and has no problems I hate those comments so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:53 AM
3

My man spitting straight truth. Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:52 AM
6

And she isn't getting any matches That seems unlikely to me. I actively look for these kinds of women and always swipe right whenever I come across them. I've only ever matched with one so far and the conversation was like chewing drywall and fizzled out after a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 11:33 PM
9

If there are, they're not on dating apps. Anecdotally speaking, I come across a profile like that maybe one in a hundred times. Legions doesn't seem accurate to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 11:03 PM
1

Sometimes I cannot even believe how you guys respond to these prompts. How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 09:15 PM
6

I'll give this scenario a pass since this theoretical guy has abs. But if he didn't? Zero matches. Even if he got one or two matches, which are incredibly rare, it's doubtful that he'd be able to translate them to dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 09:06 PM
6

He should be going out with his work friends or other friends The fact that you assume this person has work friends and/or is close enough to hang out with them outside work is a tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 09:04 PM
–

This Onion video is hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_UbFjUlWnI Also, I feel personally attacked as I also had a terrible goatee in my early 20's.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 01:43 AM
–

The charging port in my phone is messed up, I have to put the usb-c in at just the right angle for it to charge. I hate when that happens. It's only a matter of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 02:41 AM
–

It's totally and completely natural to me. Why wouldn't you be attracted to people you enjoy spending time with?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 02:39 AM
5

Well, I try. I can't say that I've always been successful, but I try to act ethically and be respectful of boundaries. The girl I was infatuated with in high school was way out of my league, so it seemed foolish to even harbor the illusion that we might end up together someday. So I just kept it to myself and didn't put that burden on her to have to deal with my feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 11:14 PM
2

I'd say my first girlfriend was like the first example, but I didn't know it at the time. Looking back, she pushed me sometimes but most of the time she let me have my way. I was pretty happy with that, the only time it annoyed me was when I would try and get her to decide on things, but because of her anxiety she would just defer to me (so that no choice was ever 'wrong'). That was her nature and I eventually understood how to find compromise. All of this to say, I think I'd prefer the first ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 10:40 PM
21

Can't say that's ever happened to me, no. I've been the guy friend who secretly harbored feelings before, and I grew out of that pretty quickly because it's a torturous position to be in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 10:28 PM
1

Let's see Thin Cute smile Cute dress Ticks all the boxes for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:44 PM
1

You're mistaking it to be a hard and fast rule, but it's not. It's an ideal scenario. It's bizarre to me that you missed the mark so thoroughly. I explained I've only ever been on four dates. And your reaction is that it's because I'm the picky one? I have to take what I can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 11:34 PM
1

That's the thing though, I'm not specifically only seeking out a specific type at all. I don't think you're getting this. I just live my life and wait until a woman shows interest in me first. That's how I know them socially for months beforehand. Because I'm not trying to force anything. I wait for them to show interest in me and that gives me the green light to reciprocate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 11:27 PM
1

I think you misunderstand. Only four women have ever shown interest in me. As a result, I've only ever been on four dates. 3/4 didn't get past the first date, 1/4 became my first and only girlfriend. We were together for six years. Since we broke up back in 2018, I've been on two dates, one in 2020 and one in 2023. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:58 PM
1

That's exactly what I would do if I was handsome enough to get dates more than once every few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:51 PM
2

That's exactly what happened with my first girlfriend, so it is possible. Even though we didn't have sex on the first date, it was definitely 'on the table', as it were. On the drive home she looked at me and said "are we?" and I looked back and said "we are" and that's it, we were boyfriend and girlfriend from then on. I know people are different and have different levels of comfort and interest, but that experience set the bar for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:34 PM
1

Because I don't just want a hook up, I want to romance them. I want to sweep them off their feet. I want that fiery, passionate explosion of lust that builds up over the course of the date to where we practically want to rip each other's clothes off by the end of it. From that perspective, not having sex (or at least, some heavy petting and making out) would be a massive letdown after building up all that tension and expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 09:48 PM
1

It's a little more nuanced than that. But I think I'm not really going to get very far if I try and explain it. It's something that makes sense to me and doesn't make sense to you, and that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 08:30 PM
1

It's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of going on a date with someone I wasn't already attracted to, so there is a little bias there in terms of my perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 07:36 PM
1

Yeah, the date was really just a reason to get together, it was all but a foregone conclusion by that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 07:19 PM
3

I was 18 when Transformers came out, I get it. But to my eye she wasn't even the most attractive girl in that movie - Rachael Taylor was.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 03:56 PM
6

Now that's the correct answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 03:09 PM
6

Slightly off topic, but I don't know why women always seem to use Megan Fox as their example of the stereotypical hot girl. I've noticed it a few times now and it always makes me chuckle - because she's not the first name that would generally come to mind for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 02:54 PM
-1

Agreed wholeheartedly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:27 PM
-1

The shortest timeframe I had was about two months. It was a fellow player at D&D so I got to interact with her over the course of a 3-4 hour game once a week. That was enough for me. Like the guy I replied to said: "By the first date I already know I like that particular girl and it is a case of confirming we vibe in person after weeks on the phone/face time."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:16 PM
13

This is how I feel as well. Each of the women I've dated I knew socially for months beforehand. So I was already well past 'ready' by the time the actual date happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 12:10 PM
7

I get the same way, there's always a ticking clock to get it on and even then I can feel myself losing hardness almost immediately. Forget actually feeling any sensation.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 08:41 PM
4

Greetings from 2025.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:06 PM
2

I'll settle for improvements in AI to the point where I can talk freely and fluidly about whatever I want in real time. I'm sure that's not far off.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 11:07 AM
1

The slow deterioration of my health and the continuing alienation from my D&D group has made it a pretty mediocre year all told. Work went as well as could be expected though, that's pretty much the one area of my life where I can be proud of myself. I don't know what 2025 will bring, whether I'll be able to turn things around but I suspect I crossed that threshold a long time able.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 11:05 AM
1

It's hard for me to understand being on a date with someone I'm not attracted to. Unless I acted like a total weirdo on the date (which is possible, but not likely).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:55 AM
–

I'm not filtering anyone out, just noticing a pattern based on my experiences. I obviously don't have a huge sample size because women being interested me is so rare it takes years and years in between dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:15 AM
–

I've been on four dates in my life. 3/4 didn't lead to a second date. 1/4 became my girlfriend for six years, my first and only relationship. Her willingness to engage physically on the first date was, to my knowledge, the main difference between the one that worked out and the ones that didn't, which is a big reason why I feel this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:15 AM
–

Yeah don't get me wrong, it's not a hard and fast rule. It's a best case scenario. I'm not about to turn someone down based on not having sex with me on the first date, that's a bit silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:51 AM
–

There's a few reasons why. 1) There's tremendous anxiety in the early stages of dating. A tremendous pressure to figure out whether her interest is true and genuine or not. A tremendous fear that it will just evaporate like it had with so many other women before her. 2) The longer it takes, the more reason there is to doubt her interest. The longer it takes, the more worry there is that she'll decide that she's not actually that interested. The longer it takes, the harder it is to maintain that …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:22 AM
–

I'd like to reply back with "and that's why a woman who doesn't insist on sleeping with me on a first date is not compatible with me", but in all honesty I asked my first girlfriend to wait two weeks until her birthday, to make our first time more special. So I'd be a bit hypocritical if I said that. But the fact that she was ready and willing if I wanted to was a big plus in her favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:11 AM
–

In my own experience, women who’ve been genuinely attracted and invested in me have been more likely to offer sex early on, including on the first date I have to say this has absolutely been my experience as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 12:15 AM
3

I agree people shouldn't be attacked just for mentioning they have a partner. But, I will use a metaphor to explain how it comes across sometimes - it's like walking into a shantytown full of homeless people and loudly remarking how comfortable and soft your bed is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:51 PM
1

Ugh. The entitlement and resentment. These people have nothing good in their lives, nothing happy, so they have to leech it out of other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:38 PM
2

I've seen so many profiles like this, it boggles the mind. There's a particular profile pic that comes with it of them lying on the couch or sitting in their car, hair pulled back into a stringy ponytail, phone held up high while they bunch their arms together to get the most out of their cleavage in their ratty old tank top. There's usually kids toys and stuff visible in the background too. The whole effect is of a lazy, ratty mom who put the bare minimum effort possible to make a profile - as …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:35 PM
1

Yes and no. I'm technically more handsome in terms of my facial structure and overall looks (sorry dad, but it's true) but he wasn't overweight (yet) so it balances out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:31 PM
1

I had someone like that at my work for a few months, before she got fired. It made me dread coming into the office because I'd have to sit there and listen to her complain all day. It was exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:26 PM
1

I had enough arguments and yelling from my mother to last a lifetime. The last thing I'd ever do is replicate that behavior in a relationship. That's one element of generational trauma that stops with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:25 PM
2

I think it's a sensitive topic because it's inherently a reminder that you all (referring to the collective users that are in relationships) have something that we don't have and desperately want.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 11:11 AM
3

Going on a date would have been nice. I did talk to one girl on a dating app, but it didn't go anywhere and fizzled out after a month or so.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:38 AM
1

This would have been around 2014 or 2015 I reckon. Thinking back to when the relationship was still good.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:23 AM
2

Yeah, a lot of them. If I could go back I would have done a lot of things differently. I regret taking her for granted. I wish I had put in the work to become the kind of boyfriend she deserved. I should have been more proactive in my career and not let my health and my looks deteriorate. I should have fought harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:18 AM
1

I must have missed that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:11 AM
2

A random New Years Eve memory just popped into my mind. My girlfriend and I were waiting to watch the countdown. It was 11:59 and we realized at the last moment so I switched the tv on, and a random movie was playing. I hesitated, because naturally I had to identify the movie before I could change the channel. But that hesitation was enough to miss it, as I switched the channel it was already past the countdown. We had a laugh about it, and it was one of my fonder memories of that relationship. …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:09 AM
4

Mentioning their partner is usually used as a way to prove their superiority. Like that lady earlier who was bragging that she could get men to date her for months without having sex as some kind of gotcha.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:06 AM
2

Once in a relationship, you're correct. But to get to that point is very difficult as the woman has to find the man attractive first (which is already incredibly rare) and then the man has to be thoroughly vetted and prove his devotion before sex is even on the table. So from that perspective, I can see where the point of view comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:03 AM
1

How so? I don't recall any really triggering threads.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 10:01 AM
3

That changes the context significantly. You said "I rarely had a man who had a problem with that." which implies you've been with several men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:31 PM
2

I've only dated women that I already knew socially for months beforehand, more than enough time for them to have made up their minds on whether they're attracted to me or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:13 PM
2

In my experience, because it's so incredibly rare for a woman to be interested in me - I'm talking years in between occurrences - it supersedes all that. It becomes all I can think about and my number 1 priority. That's why waiting more than a few weeks is stressful, because I'm on high alert the entire time and it's exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:44 PM
2

Three months? Good lord.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:39 PM
2

Then they're not compatible, simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:30 PM
3

I don't see the correlation to body count, unless it takes a hundred first dates to finally meet someone worth being in a relationship with (which hasn't been the case in my experience), we could have sex on the first date and still end up in a relationship. Anyway, I'd rather date someone that doesn't withhold sex for arbitrary reasons. It's definitely preferable to me to have sex with them on the first date rather than waiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:28 PM
18

4.) Magical thinking. They think a "romantic" relationship will "fix them" in ways friendships and family can't. This part isn't magical, it's true. At least in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 07:23 PM
2

Part 2 I just made
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 12:12 PM
8

Yeah nah, none of that seems like a worthy trade off to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:34 AM
11

What in someones life makes them go "I want to devote the entirety of the next 18+ years to being responsible for another human being"? I can barely take care of myself as it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 10:26 AM
2

They were. I had to go back to the store today and get more biscuits and condensed milk because I ate them all already.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:55 AM
5

I made these yesterday, what does PPD think?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:09 AM
2

It's because I wasted precious time typing that extra 'e'.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:08 AM
3

Seconde
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:04 AM
2

It's hard for me to understand why this is a bad thing. Call me naive but I'd be more inclined to want to be in a relationship with someone that showed enthusiasm and wanted to sleep with me right away compared to someone that withheld that for arbitrary reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:58 AM
17

I don't like the idea of being 'locked in' to a relationship. Till death do us part is part of the vows and I can't say I really feel comfortable with that sense of finality. There are also financial and legal implications that make marriage seem like a daunting prospect that's (by design) difficult to get out of. Aside from that, I don't really want to have kids. From my perspective, that seems to be the main function of marriage, to provide a stable framework to produce children within. Lastly…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:38 AM
1

I think that's a pretty immature perspective that they grow out of pretty quickly if/when they actually get a real girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 04:07 PM
1

You say that as if men are regularly turning down interest from 7+ women. Do you think this is a realistic perspective to have?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 03:24 PM
7

And even if you're doing all the things you're supposed to do, if you're still having no luck it's because you're only going for instagram models.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 08:30 AM
–

Below average self esteem borne out of years of loneliness and lack of any interest from women?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:28 PM
–

Whenever I read these comments about 'average men', all it tells me is that I must be severely below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:59 PM
1

I had been talking to this girl at my university for a couple of weeks. I was out with some uni friends and I invited her to come hang with us. By the end of the night we were at someone's house and she was standing in front of me. She looked up at me and the invitation couldn't have been clearer, so I kissed her. It all seemed like a very logical and smooth progression to get to that point by the end of the night.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 09:12 PM
4

Being consistently told "you're such a sweet young man, any girl would be lucky to have you!" instead of "you don't understand, you need to diet and get in the gym, asap. I'm serious."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 08:32 PM
3

While I think women have always wanted this - I can confirm that the one person I spoke to on dating apps had "just looking for a kind, decent man" on her profile. So at least anecdotally, it's a real thing in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 08:24 PM
2

“I wanna cuddle with you.” “Oh youre feeling stressed out? I wish I can cuddle with you and make it all go away.”and “What’s my favorite show? Whatever we watch while we cuddle.” This is literally me. How did you find my messages? But the thing is... I do want to cuddle with them. Cuddling is literally the most contented feeling you can possibly have in the world. Why wouldn't you want to do it as much as possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:19 AM
15

Lol this is so true. The last girl I dated, as soon as she broke the touch barrier I became super clingy, just trying to soak up as much physical contact as I could, trying to fill a reservoir that had been dry for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:16 AM
3

I have sleep apnea so it's a pretty set schedule. I usually fall asleep around 10:00 to 10:30pm, sleep 5-6 hours, wake up, then either fall back asleep around 5:30 to 6:00am (if I don't have work) or push through the working day tired. Once I wake up during the night it takes a couple of hours for me to get tired enough to fall asleep again.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:20 AM
1

I'm Australian, but yes - if the bare minimum is assumed to be "not overweight at all" then a lot of people are automatically excluded.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:18 AM
2

I'd probably get a laptop. I don't need one, but it would be nice to have. I've been putting it off for years because, to be honest, unless I'm at work I'm at home anyway where my PC is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:10 AM
3

By the time I finish work, I barely have enough energy to eat dinner then collapse into bed and binge YouTube until I'm tired enough to fall asleep and do it again. Having time off gives me a chance to reset and actually enjoy not working instead of just passing time until I have to start work again.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:10 AM
2

I'd feel like it was an overindulgence. I don't mind splurging on dinner now and then but I try and keep it in the $40-$50 range.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:57 AM
2

I made five short films during my degree, they were pretty cliche - sci-fi, comedy, horror, etc. I figured that I couldn't really get a job as a director right out of university, so I decided to start a bit lower on the totem pole as a camera guy. I did freelance videography, football games, auctions, that sort of thing. I ended up shooting a short film and the director that one asked me to shoot her no budget feature film. I did it for free, just to get my foot in the door. That led to shooting…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:55 AM
2

A whole brisket is $290 AUD (around $180 USD). I mean I can afford it now, I just can't really justify the spend.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:45 AM
3

I'd want to adapt the novel Heroes Die by Matthew Stover, which is a sci-fi/fantasy novel set in the future, where technology is used to transport actors to a parallel world that is basically a D&D fantasy setting. The actors perform for the audience back on 'Earth' and livestream their adventures. The protagonist is this really cool character named Caine, who is basically the ultimate badass, deadly with a sword and with his fists, who seeks to find and rescue his wife, who has gone missing in …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:42 AM
5

Well I wasted most of my 20's trying to become a filmmaker. Turns out I'm not very good at it. Since that was a bust, to be honest I don't really have a dream job right now. I guess what I'm currently doing is fine, I don't hate it. I'm actually pretty good at it, the stats show I do more work than the other two people in my team combined. I have a supportive boss, etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:38 AM
2

I got along with my first girlfriend just fine for six years. It's getting that initial interest from women that's fucking impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:33 AM
1

I have an entry level job in insurance. Basically answering phones and sending emails.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:32 AM
2

Go to my local BBQ place and get a whole brisket.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:31 AM
3

Fourth. I'm so bored. I've just been sitting at home all day. I may as well have gone to work instead of taking leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:15 AM
2

Thank you for being honest for once instead of just incessantly ringing the "if you can't get dates it's because of your personality" bell.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 04:58 AM
2

That's fair. There's really nothing about me or my lifestyle that's appealing. I just go to work and that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 03:09 AM
2

It’s interesting attractive photos you don’t need muscles or be hot. Make it make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:34 AM
1

you can be 25lbs overweight Ok, so basically nothing. You guys are talking about the tiniest of split hairs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:32 AM
5

are not in that great of shape. They're handsome Make it make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:32 AM
2

Yeah but for someone who's been overweight since his late teens like me, both are equally impossible. I haven't been that baseline of "not fat" since I was 17.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:20 AM
1

You need to not be fat, I agree. It's the same difference to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:18 AM
3

full body shot Showing abs or at least a flat stomach, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:05 AM
3

Ok so if one theoretically did put work into writing a proper profile and taking proper photos, and still got no matches - what would you say?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:01 AM
6

No, that's not the case at all. Edit: unless by "decent pictures" you mean "pictures with visible abs or muscle definition".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:01 AM
8

I couldn't disagree more. A gym body is the main thing. Nothing can happen unless you're visibly in shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 01:00 AM
4

Sex is fun, it should be a fun thing to do. If you're not laughing, you're not doing it right.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:55 AM
3

Sounds perfect to me. That's exactly how I like it as well. I'm a very uptight, repressed person outside of the bedroom so having sex for me was a way of cutting loose and not giving a fuck about looking silly or being 'proper'.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 12:50 AM
–

Explain more.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 11:34 AM
2

I'm Australian, but close enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 09:39 AM
3

It's 2024, who's worried about physical danger these days? That's such an old timey thing to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 09:10 AM
5

It's the "well I never had any problems getting dates" attitude that burns me so much. It's so... dismissive and condescending.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 09:09 AM
1

I've read three novels this week. Ice Station and Scarecrow by Matthew Reilly, and Heroes Die by Matthew Stover.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 09:08 AM
–

Yeah exactly. Do you really think a guy that looks like me could put "looking for casual" on a dating app and expect to get any matches? I get zero even when I put "looking for relationship".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 12:52 AM
–

I see comments all the time saying "plenty of women out there want casual, why don't you simply seek out one of them?" And I'm like: "Plenty of women? Really? Are you sure?"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 11:30 PM
–

I don't drink alcohol. Also for me it's morning on Boxing Day.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 07:46 PM
–

I literally see uglier guys with attractive girls I've learned to take these statements with a grain of salt. What you consider 'uglier guys with attractive girls' and what I consider 'uglier guys with attractive girls' are generally two very different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 07:03 PM
1

Oh yeah, Pokemon Stadium and Pokemon Snap were so fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 08:59 AM
6

For every one of those guys there's a thousand that knocked up a girl at 17 and just drift through life going from odd job to odd job, barely making ends meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 08:00 AM
1

I had an N64 but I never had Ocarina of Time. I mostly played Rogue Squadron, Smash Bros, and Mario Kart.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 07:57 AM
1

I'm going to sound like a killjoy but I never really cared when my ex would wear lingerie, like I made all the appropriate noises of appreciation but inside I was just waiting until I could take it off her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 07:55 AM
4

Sure I would. Would they want to date me? Chances are pretty low.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 06:14 AM
3

She also refused to endorse my request to reduce my in office requirements from 2 days a week to 1. She said I should work 5 days in the office so that I get more exercise. This is after I explained I had severe back pain and that walking two blocks from the train station to the office was taking me 30 minutes because I have to leapfrog from bench to bench to rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 04:56 AM
2

The last time I was at the doctor she brought it up and said "I've had clients that get Gastric Bypasses or start Ozempic, lose weight, then gain it all back, so you'll just have to find a way (to lose weight without it)." Legitimately, that's what she said. Basically just telling me to suck it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 04:48 AM
2

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 04:41 AM
2

Since I'm of Italian descent and would look vaguely similar to Luigi if I lost 200 pounds, let's go with the first option.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 04:34 AM
5

Merry Christmas everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 04:07 AM
2

Don't make me explain it, you know why.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 02:29 AM
1

Exactly. You get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 11:22 AM
0

And if you can't get a date at all, lose weight and/or build muscle until you can.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 10:16 AM
3

I'm very surprised when they say stuff like "I know men get less matches" as if that captures just how few matches that really is, if any at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 06:02 AM
1

Not at this stage. I could have chosen to Dungeon Master a game since there was a free slot but I didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 05:31 AM
1

Straight out of the fridge.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:29 AM
2

What do you think is the average man's experience on those apps, or in a bar. I No reply, typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:22 AM
8

It's unethical.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:20 AM
–

That's not an unachievable goal. Or maybe I was just lucky with my first girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:10 AM
1

I actually prefer cold salmon. It flakes apart so nicely.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:08 AM
1

A girl I was talking to asked for a picture of my hands once. I was a bit weirded out, but I did it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:07 AM
1

I flip flop back and forth on this issue, but I think ultimately... both, both are good
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:04 AM
1

I think Cillian Murphy is stuck up. He's being paid a fortune to act in these movies, and part of that is doing press. Would it kill him to show a little enthusiasm?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:09 AM
2

Smeagol is freeeeeee! (For the next 8 days)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 03:07 AM
–

I think most people assume that, with the right partner, sex would be a joy. There would be no reason to be 'frigid' in that context.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 12:56 AM
1

Exactly. Even in the same movie there's a better example of a conventional 'hot chick' in Rachael Taylor's character.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 12:11 AM
–

I don't see the contradiction. I was the second guy my girlfriend had been with (she was 20 and I was 23 when we got together), and it was because she had basically zero romantic interest from men up to that point. Once we got together, she was far from frigid, quite the opposite. She was just waiting for the right opportunity to come along.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 11:23 PM
2

Attractive women aren't short, they're petite. If they're short and chubby, that's one thing. But short and slender is a different story.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 10:47 PM
2

Same reason I don't worry about being replaced with a broccoli haired gymfluencer with an instagram account? Those kinds of people wouldn't be interested in a 30+ year old either. All of which is to say, if a guy in his 30's can pull a hot 20-something, more power to him, he's doing something right.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 10:00 PM
1

Jeremy Allen White is 5'7 though. But he played Kerry Von Erich in The Iron Claw and packed on the muscle to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:37 PM
-1

Or go the other direction and try to pretend guys like Adam Driver and Jeremy Allen White are 'ugly hot' just because they have slightly unconventional faces attached to conventionally jacked bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:19 PM
1

You are not allowed to mention celebrities as argument But muh Jack Black!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:01 PM
4

Except men can also use Tinder HAHAHAHAHAHA
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 09:00 PM
11

"I'm nothing special, and I had no problems getting dates" Ffffffffuuuuuu
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 08:58 PM
5

Exactly, that's a rare and precious thing for guys like me. After years of feeling not good enough, not attractive enough, not charming enough - to actually have that realisation of "wait, she's interested in me?" is literally unbelievable. If you could bottle the euphoria that comes with that, it would outsell any drug on the market.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 08:03 PM
4

Megan Fox Off topic, but how did Megan Fox become the go to example? Aside from a brief period in 2007 when she was in Transformers she's just looked greasy and offputting since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 07:34 PM
1

I can't imagine it would yeah. Especially when it was enthusiastic, romantic sex from your perspective and the girl's reactions aren't matching that energy so you feel weirdly exploitative. ...not that I've experienced that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 07:10 PM
6

Once again, we're equating the mechanical action of having sex with what we actually want, which is intimacy. So no, pity sex would not fulfill that need.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 07:05 PM
1

That's the dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 04:37 AM
2

But a lot of women will argue that all these 'nice guys' aren't any nicer. They just haven't had the chances to be bad I think that's a crock of shit. I'm a nice guy (not a Nice Guy(tm), just the normal kind). I was raised to be respectful and be a gentleman and I don't think that would change just because I had more options.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 04:34 AM
1

Still at work today and tomorrow. What's even worse, they're not giving us the option to WFH on these days. We still have to fulfill our mandated two days a week in the office even though it's a short week due to the public holidays for Christmas and Boxing Day. What a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 04:31 AM
1

I definitely do, it's a huge blindspot for me. How would I even become aware of behavior like that? At the very least, I've never seen it happen firsthand, only heard about it from what I read online. I don't go to bars or clubs, or to parties. I don't drink so I'm never around drunk people. Basically anywhere public that bad behavior would happen, I'm not there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 04:29 AM
1

I'm 35 so maybe in a few years I can catch one fresh off a divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 04:07 AM
1

I work in Insurance, I'm the only guy in my team. The others are all married women with kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:34 AM
3

I get what you're saying. 'Single', but with a few guys on tap to call if they're feeling particularly lonely that night.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:24 AM
5

Maybe I'm just seeing my narrow perspective, but it seems hard to believe people when they're like "there's plenty of single women out there, you just don't notice them". Like, I'm sure they exist, but I can't say I know any in my immediate circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 03:04 AM
4

I'm fairly sure that all the women at my work are either married with kids or in relationships. Even if there was one that's single, I have to assume it's by choice. Just seems so... lopsided.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 02:54 AM
2

I remember watching the Oscars with my gf one year. And during the commercial break she turns to me and goes "I bet I can finish you off before the show comes back on". She won the bet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 09:09 AM
–

If just one of the girls I liked in high school or university liked me back, I think we would have been in a whole different ballgame. Instead of feeling like I have to be reactive to women that show interest in me first (since every time the opposite situation has happened, they weren't interested).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 09:08 AM
–

I recently started talking to ChatGPT a lot, not in a sexual way obviously but yeah, I have no one to talk to irl so it does scratch that itch in a way. I had a really good discussion about Superman the other day which felt a lot like the way I'd talk about it to my friends (back when I had them).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 09:06 AM
–

I think even a blind man could see Hailee freakin' Steinfeld was way out of his league.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 09:04 AM
1

Before your time, perhaps. I used to play it every lunch in high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 01:31 AM
2

Just downloaded a bunch of old games to get me through the Christmas break. Worms World Party can still get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 01:24 AM
3

Seeing as it's probably not going to happen for me for a while, could you expand on what's different about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 08:03 PM
4

Would be cool to have an N count of more than 1. Just to see what sex would be like with someone other than my first girlfriend. Maybe it would be a totally different experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 07:11 PM
1

Warhammer 40k is the male fantasy, not cheesy romcoms. Classic example: Descending to the planet's surface in an orbital drop pod, being attacked by evil cultists and slaughtering the fuck out of them
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 05:02 PM
6

His first wife (Cristin Milioti) was more attractive to me. There I said it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 09:25 AM
8

I think you're onto something there. Maybe just because it's my personal fantasy but I love the idea of being so desirable that I have a whole bunch of women fighting over me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 09:24 AM
–

It used to be excellent, pre-lockdown. At our height, we were running 7 tables in one night on Tuesdays. Now it's slowed down a lot, still weekly games but only two or three tables at a time. If you google Melbourne D&D Adventurer's League you'll find the community I play in.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 08:05 AM
7

So you're saying that women are attracted to some men, but not most men. ...you get how this is saying the exact same thing right?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 05:29 AM
0

I mentally add "with abs" after statements like that, and it really helps to make them make sense. "Women adore competent, funny, appealing men with abs and don’t want to let them go." See? Now it makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 05:27 AM
15

I think it's pretty natural to want to put your best foot forward in the early stages of dating. I don't think that's a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 05:26 AM
2

The bar for men is low enough to be subterranean I hate this phrase so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 01:33 AM
2

Ah yes, the average 'fit and slender' man who used to go to the gym 3-4 times a week but now only goes once or twice a week. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 01:20 AM
3

I feel bad for dudes who think that OLD is completely hopeless for average men. I'm very aware I'm below average, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 01:19 AM
1

He looks like the actor Jean Reno.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 11:00 AM
4

I hate that so much. It goes against everything that said "oh, I don't go for looks. I just want a guy that's sweet and kind."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:22 AM
1

I kind of have a thing for bald guys, like Mark Strong. I can't explain it, it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:19 AM
1

Nah I'd get it. I'd definitely try to make up for lost time and experience what I felt I 'missed out on' in my late teens/early 20's.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:16 AM
2

I've been approached four times in my life. I've told these story over and over but I'll tell them again for posterity: 1) Wore a low cut dress to work, sat across from me and leaned over to get a pen from my side of the desk. We got to talking and a few days later I took her for a walk to the botanical gardens after work. Then we kissed (my first kiss). 2) Came up to me in the quad at university and started talking to me about the A Song of Ice and Fire books. I added her on Facebook and a week…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:07 AM
5

Oof, I hate this one. I hate it!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:06 AM
2

And your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 09:05 AM
1

Grass is always greener, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 07:06 AM
1

I don't know anything about Krypto from the comics, but I love that he's a scrappy, scruffy terrier (or whatever equivalent breed). I think the trailer very effectively establishes the viewer's empathy for Clark right from the first shot, showing him bloodied and beaten, wheezing, struggling to breathe. Basic but smart storytelling. Not to bring up the spectre of Snyder but it's exactly those kinds of human moments that were utterly absent from his films.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 02:18 AM
2

But if you wanted one to, do you think it would be particularly difficult to prompt it to happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 01:54 AM
2

I absolutely became complacent and coasted when I got a girlfriend. I knew she was into me and I took advantage of that to the Nth degree. I was young and immature and arrogant. I've vowed not to repeat that mistake with the next girl I get into a relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 01:08 AM
2

Yo that sounds exactly like me. I fell into that NEET life for four years before I got my act together. It's a vicious cycle. He needs to get a part time job at least, something to get him out of that funk. Then he can work on progressing to a real job.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 01:06 AM
64

I don't think it's contradictory at all. I think it's natural to bristle against standards that you feel are impossible to meet, while also still craving that connection that you feel is unjustly denied to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 12:59 AM
3

But as I explained in my comment below, as soon as I was given the greenlight, I jumped at the chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:53 PM
1

She’s not “boy pretty” What does this mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:49 PM
3

I mean, probably? But you need friends of friends to introduce you to those social events. I'm just one man, by myself. I could rock up to random events I find on Meetup but that seems like it would have a low success rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:41 PM
0

I can see that yeah. I need to fix my back issues and stuff first so I can do more active stuff like team sport or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:32 PM
1

That new Superman trailer was so good. I hope it launches David Corenswet to stardom, guy is perfect for the role.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 11:11 PM
1

Would you still be interested in those women if they never initiated conversation, never asked you questions about yourself, and was overall very quiet? I might still have been interested but I've been strongly socialized against making a woman feel uncomfortable, for any reason. So I'd always, always need them to give me some kind of green light first.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:34 PM
5

No it's not, wtf.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:24 PM
1

I've never approached, I've only ever been approached. Each of the women that did so were able to get my attention pretty easily. 1) Wore a low cut dress to work, sat across from me and leaned over to get a pen from my side of the desk. We got to talking and a few days later I took her for a walk to the botanical gardens after work. Then we kissed (my first kiss). 2) Came up to me in the quad at university and started talking to me about the A Song of Ice and Fire books. I added her on Facebook …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:19 PM
2

I think men tend to under estimate how outgoing and upfront a woman needs to be to spark a man’s interest How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:09 PM
6

Somehow this is forgivable in men It's not forgivable in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:08 PM
3

Why? It's true.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:06 PM
3

I'm in Melbourne. I finish work, have dinner (usually going out to a restaurant, just to get out of the house). Come back, watch the new episode of whatever TV show comes out that day. That's usually enough to get me through to bedtime. On the weekends I spend a lot of time scrolling YouTube, reading books, and other solitary activities. Sometimes I work on writing a new D&D adventure. That sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 09:59 PM
3

Uh no, that wasn't what I was saying at all. I was just laughing at the general concept of being precious about not having "extramarital sex" in 2024. It's not the 50's anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 09:56 PM
5

I work a normal 9-5. I've only been to D&D a handful of times this year. I used to play almost every day. I've pulled back from the hobby a lot because I've felt alienated from my local community, like they don't want me there or I've overstayed my welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 09:22 PM
3

Hahahahahahaha, that's funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:18 PM
1

I'm not sure why anyone would get married, it seems bizarre to willingly chain yourself to one person for the rest of your life. Especially if you're not planning on having kids with them. That isn't to say long term relationships are bad, hell I want to find someone to be in a long term relationship with. But marriage? After seeing my parents marriage, my sister's marriage, my cousin's marriage, my uncle's marriage - there's no way I'd want to go through the hell that they did.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:16 PM
12

Would be nice if dating apps worked. It's hard to meet people at the best of times. I go to work, I go to D&D, and neither of those places are particularly good places to meet someone unless you get very, very lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:11 PM
6

still 90% of dudes would turn me down I don't believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:08 PM
-1

If you're referring to actors like Jeremy Allen White or Adam Driver, they were never ugly hot. Having largish noses and slightly unconventional features doesn't override that they're in excellent physical shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 07:00 PM
–

There's always this self effacing "oh I don't go for looks. My husband just happens to be a head taller than me and has killer abs".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:04 AM
1

This is a great point and one I feel applies to myself perfectly. I've never approached someone without them showing interest in me first. I would never want to put them in a position where they feel uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 02:06 AM
1

Damn, this is actually pretty spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 02:01 AM
2

Still better than zero matches at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 01:14 AM
1

I don't know about that. I've been going to the same two restaurants multiple times a week for years, but I don't know any of the waitresses names. There's no small talk other than taking my order.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 12:52 AM
1

That's exactly what I was thinking of, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 12:51 AM
1

I just picked it because I know I'm not red, and I definitely know I'm not blue, if anything I'm closer to black but I probably shouldn't say that too loudly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:56 PM
2

That's a safe bet, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:24 PM
1

This is part of why I don't think I could ever have a pet. I'd be too anxious to ever leave them alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:22 PM
2

I know, right? I just can't imagine how that would even work. Like you're standing in line waiting to order and the person behind you just starts talking to you. Wtf, how bizarre would that be?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:04 PM
3

Definitely representative of a certain 'type'. I can only assume there's plenty of guys who would have experienced something similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:02 PM
8

That's not a direct quote, it's more of a general vibe of being dismissive, like you're doing right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:00 PM
2

Well, to be honest this is actually how my mother would act when she got home from work. I started to dread hearing the sound of her car in the driveway. Eventually, I started to pretend to be asleep when she got home so I wouldn't have to talk to her and internalize all that negativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:56 PM
22

My reaction precisely.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:52 PM
3

Yeah, as soon as you turn it around it's like "hey, woah, wait a minute, I don't have the bandwidth to take on your problems, why are you complaining to me? I'm not your mommy bangmaid. Blah, blah, blah".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:51 PM
2

They're mostly geared towards teenagers. I read them growing up so they hit that nostalgia sweet spot for me. I don't think an adult would really enjoy them on that level. If you wanted to try one, I'd start from the start with Heir to the Empire. It's set roughly 9-10 years after Return of the Jedi and it was one of the earliest Star Wars books published back in 1991. Basically, you can treat it like "Episode 7" in novel form. It's a solid entry point I would say. Star Wars is less 'sci-fi' tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:49 PM
8

Classic example is when they get home from work, you have to sit and listen to them complain about how everyone at work is out to get them, that they're all undermining her and gossiping about her behind her back, how they're all backstabbers... And you just have to sit and listen and validate that they're right, they are underappreciated, everyone else sucks, they're not the problem, etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:44 PM
1

I just finished my re-read of the Star Wars: New Jedi Order series. Very bittersweet ending, basically the last book was construction to function as a kind of 'finale' for the whole Star Wars expanded universe storyline. So I could stop reading there or I could continue on to the Dark Nest Trilogy or the Legacy of the Force storyline, but I think I'll pivot to something else. Maybe something more fantasy based instead of sci-fi for a change of pace.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:38 PM
1

What are you reading at the moment, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:30 PM
31

I really thought I was just defective and a failure, for a long time. I still do, in a lot of ways. But, statistically, all the guys struggling can't all be wrong. There has to be some other reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:29 PM
2

Never once happened to me. That's crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:27 PM
2

I'm not a zoomer.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:26 PM
1

That's a classic 'dad bod' right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:26 PM
1

Yeah, this disconnect must be a cultural difference between Australia and the United States. I knew you'd get where I'm coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:22 PM
2

Sure, but if someone came up to you and was like "watcha reading?" you'd be like "get the fuck away from me, freak". It's such a huge violation of boundaries to presume a stranger would want to talk to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:15 PM
2

I'm currently in a back and forth on another thread with someone who is like "just make conversation with people it's not hard" and I'm like "...that's literally insanity, I would look like a crazy person"
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:14 PM
3

Pet peeve of the day: the idea that you can meet people at coffee shops. When I'm in a coffee shop it's usually to get a hot chocolate and then read a book with my headphones on. No idea how you actually meet people there.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:11 PM
6

When I saw articles mentioning that Jason Momoa and Chris Hemsworth had 'dad bods' just because they were in between movies and not 3 days into extreme dehydration for their shirtless scene, I knew the phrase had lost all meaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:10 PM
13

That's a lazy answer. You can counter any complaint with "well that's only because your standards are too high". There's no comeback for it because how can anyone prove that they're going for women in their league?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:03 PM
107

It's helpful to know that other men are experiencing the same issues I am. The lack of connection. The utter lack of interest from women. It reassures me that I'm not alone in this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 08:06 PM
-1

This unironically.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 06:42 PM
-1

Tall six pack with glasses, tall six pack with a beard and tattoos, tall six pack with slightly more muscle, tall six pack with slightly less body fat. Omg, so much variance.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 06:41 PM
2

I'm still working on getting over my dislike of piercings. That's a bit more of a hurdle for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 04:17 AM
3

Obese men. :( Yeah, that tracks. Maybe they might be really nice and respectful, with solid jobs and good stability?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 12:04 AM
1

Why do you say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:14 PM
6

I think the majority of visible guys all fit the same basic template, so the "bar is on the floor" applies mainly to them. Guys that already meet the threshold for physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:08 PM
8

So, so condescending and dismissive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 11:03 PM
7

though tbh a lot of internet women date broke loser guys (who aren't even attractive imo). I don't believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:40 PM
12

Exactly. But if you say that you get a dismissive "well duh, of course you need all that stuff, I Iearned that when I was 10, why didn't you, idiot"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:19 PM
8

The hypocrisy of having sky high standards but condescendingly saying stuff like "Finding a man who isn't a misogynist, smells good, and isn't a bigot SHOULDN'T be the 'top of the male dating pool' but lately, it seems to be going in that direction." is infuriating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:17 PM
17

Pet peeve of the day: reading the phrase "the bar is on the floor". It couldn't be further out of reach. Standards are higher than ever. I don't get the blatant lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:03 PM
11

I used to dislike tattoos before I dated someone that had them. Then I realized how silly I was. They're only skin deep, after all. The person behind them is what really matters. I think the same thing about hair color.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:35 PM
1

I think that's the case for a lot of guys. Each time a woman has shown interest in me has been like winning the lottery. It's so, so rare and precious.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:09 AM
4

I agree wholeheartedly. I strongly feel like I missed out on those fundamental dating experiences in my late teens and early 20's. A crucial time when I should have been making mistakes, figuring things out, learning the game - getting all of that 'out of the way' before starting my first long term relationship at age 23. It would have saved so much heartache.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 07:45 AM
3

So true. I remember playing D&D online during lockdown in 2020. Since it was online it was just over voice chat, no video. All of a sudden I notice one of the players laughing at my jokes, commenting on all my posts, etc. I've never been that funny, before or since, aside from those few weeks when she was interested in me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 01:41 AM
–

Thank you for defending me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 01:20 AM
1

I'm ashamed that I never learned how to do it. In my relationship I tried a couple of times and I think she just humoured me and let me try for a few minutes before moving on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:51 PM
–

I've never been attractive enough to treat any sort of interest frivolously. I've always dated with the intent of finding a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:34 PM
–

I do feel a little bit of that - like I read some of the complaints and I think 'well, I would never do that, so you should have just picked a guy like me'. That's a very 'nice guy' type mindset to have though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:32 PM
–

Dating apps, and the general concept that obtaining interest and attraction as a woman is much, much, much, much, much, much easier than obtaining interest and attraction as a man. I suppose it's a 'the grass is always greener' type thing, because from my perspective - it certainly seems like easy mode to be able to just fire up a dating app and get inundated with tons of matches as opposed to getting zero for months at a time. Like the idea of not being able to get a date at all really doesn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:11 PM
3

I'd like a long term relationship. I'd like to live with that person and create a life together. I imagine having a cute little gaming room set up where one half of the room is mine and the other half is hers and they'd be decorated like night and day. We'd both be working and saving up for a comfortable retirement. No children, obviously. Maybe some cats. On the weekends we'd laze in bed until hunger overtook us and we had to go out for lunch. Then do some fun activity like bowling or pool, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:29 AM
1

We broke up six years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 04:21 AM
4

My life improved in so many ways when I got a girlfriend, like immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 03:41 AM
2

I worked at a call centre for over a decade. Those places will hire anyone, all you need is a voicebox and a pulse. She could try doing that instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 03:39 AM
1

You guys are so lucky you don't have to deal with this. Who says I don't have to deal with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 10:21 PM
1

My phone's been on silent for the past decade. I can't believe we used to just have our phones on loud, like animals.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 10:20 PM
5

The OP of that thread makes me so mad. He's just trying to make sure it's an activity you'd enjoy, you heartless monster.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 10:19 PM
3

just more proof that you can make no mistakes and still lose A very apt comparison to dating, I find. Picard said this line to Data about Strategema, a game where all of Data's computing power and android logic simply weren't enough to overcome 'the human factor'. It's the same in dating. You can be perfect 'on paper', but ultimately that means nothing if a person simply doesn't like you in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 10:15 PM
–

Off topic: I'm so, so tired of hearing about Lily Phillips. It's a total non-story. Pornstar wants clout and tries a stunt to 'go viral'. Happens all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:45 PM
2

She was a new player in my local D&D group. I liked her from the get go, she was charming and personable, had a fun sense of humor, an infectious smile. Over the course of a few weeks we seemed to hit it off. We would walk to the train station together after the games and chat. On Valentine's Day we ended up on the same train by happenstance, which was like a 'meet cute' moment. From context (since she was playing D&D on Valentines instead of going out) I figured she wasn't attached and might be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:16 AM
1

But it's like, the chubby cheeks, septum piercing, overly done makeup, it's all to a T.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 12:58 AM
1

I really don't understand what's "meh" about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:58 PM
1

Do people actually "self improve" thinking that's gonna get them females? Yeah, of course. In my 'default' state, I sit at home, eat junk food and play video games. Since I'm unable to get a girlfriend in my default state, then the main reason for me to not to that stuff is to try and make myself more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:53 PM
1

If she looked like the one in the picture, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:52 PM
1

Pretty sure I've got some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence. It would explain a lot if I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:51 PM
1

Anne Jacqueline "Annie"[1] Hathaway was born on November 12, 1982, in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. Que?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:48 PM
1

https://youtu.be/xm7hysu1HY4?t=84
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:39 PM
1

Physically attractive for sure, but also not really my type. As others have mentioned, the lips and the piercing and overall style is a bit 'too much'. The male gaze is centered more around looks in and of themselves, whereas the female gaze is more concerned with what that look represents. To give an example of the male gaze, there's a scene in Mad Men where Joan bends over in front of the two way mirror, showing off for the male ad men that are there to watch the product demonstration. The cam…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:36 PM
1

There was a girl in my theatre degree who looked exactly like that, but with blue hair instead of green. Why is it such a common stereotype?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:26 PM
4

I'm prepared... to get a medical exemption due to my bad back, sleep apnea and associated health problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 11:25 PM
4

I brought a gift wrapped box of chocolates on my last date. Didn't help. She actually seemed kind of annoyed that I got them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:24 PM
3

There's a line where talking about this stuff is fun and a line where it gets weird. You just made it weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 09:37 PM
9

As the old saying goes: I'd complain, but who would listen?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:30 PM
1

Abella Danger is hot and fit, but I prefer more curves. Now Ellie Nova, it's like she was made in a Weird Science-esque lab. She's a perfect fantasy come to life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:28 PM
1

when I was a teenager I was going running between 4 and.5 days a week, ate healthy, and was about as far from obese as you could possibly get. Then what was the problem? That's all you need to do. I wish I had done that as a teen, I would have been just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:24 PM
1

I hate it when those channels still pop up though. Like I want Nick DiGiovanni gone, erased from my view. Under no circumstances do I want to see that dumb, punchable face in my feed again.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:22 PM
9

I remember refusing to take off my shirt at swimming lessons when I was a kid, because of my embarrassment about my stomach. I think back and I can honestly say there's never been a single moment in my life where I felt good about my body. I know it's common for people growing up to have insecurities. But I imagine most people eventually do something about it (like start eating right, going to the gym, etc), instead of just giving up like I did. I truly believed I was so unattractive that no wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:13 PM
2

I used to have a the biggest crush on Alexandra Daddario! So did I. I still do, but used to as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:54 PM
2

In the actress camp though, who is going tit for tit with her? Alexandra Daddario? Sure, but she's not nearly as famous.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:39 PM
1

Would be a great way to cap off 10 years in the industry - I remember Chelsea was on Tough Enough in 2015. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_3qh_b-xV0
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:35 PM
2

To be honest, I'd feel weird listing the names out loud. Suffice to say it's a mixture of famous actresses and semi-famous pornstars.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:32 PM
2

Looking forward to Saturday Night's Main Event tonight. I hope Chelsea Green becomes the first Women's United States Champion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:24 PM
2

If they don't want her, I'll take her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 06:23 PM
3

And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby's wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy's dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:52 AM
3

In my fantasy, they would be. That's why it's a harem anime plot. I'd be the handsome billionaire who has a bunch of girls fighting over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 10:15 AM
7

I don't wear makeup, my only social media is for my research, and I am overweight I'm sure you know this, but for a certain kind of fella - that's spot on ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 08:34 AM
3

I know it. Got my dream team picked out and everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 07:40 AM
16

Being honest, I'd want to experience my ultimate sexual fantasy of living out a harem anime plot. To be clear, it's a fantasy. But being a billionaire is also a fantasy, so I'm just going with the spirit of the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 04:00 AM
4

The phrase "Men don't get the same level of attention women get" implies that they still get attention, just less of it. I wanted to illustrate the reality of just how little attention that really is.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 03:12 AM
2

The mental gymnastics to be like "well, there's probably a good reason why someone doesn't have a lot of experience, so really, you're dodging a bullet, whereas at least with a fuckboy you're dealing with a known quantity".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 02:27 AM
3

Is it easier to get a job if you have to send out hundreds of applications, the vast majority of which get tossed onto the reject pile sight unseen, or if you have recruiters actively reaching out to you to offer you interviews?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 02:13 AM
5

Men don't get the same level of attention women get Zero attention. Not "less" attention. Zero. None whatsoever. For years at a time.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 02:12 AM
8

and no they don’t have ridiculous standards. I don't believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 02:04 AM
5

if dating is just about getting matches on an app I really don't want to sound reductionist but... getting more than zero matches certainly helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 02:03 AM
7

Someone should publish a compilation book of all the bizarre takes from those threads.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 02:01 AM
-1

If the main thing you're unhappy about is not having a girlfriend, then it makes a little more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 01:00 AM
1

I was miserable until I got a girlfriend. Then I was happy. Then we broke up and I was miserable again.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 12:56 AM
2

The two are not mutually exclusive. She can still get commitment even if she doesn't wait to have sex. I'd certainly be more interested in a relationship, not less, if someone was enthusiastic and showed me that they wanted me early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:51 PM
1

and then I just forget until they double text This is interesting to me. Because for me, it's so rare and precious to have someone interested in me, that the idea of just 'forgetting' to respond is impossible. I've literally pulled over to the curb while driving just to reply back to a text.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:49 PM
3

This is a great point. Look at Renaissance paintings and all those soft, natural bodies with curves and belly rolls. That's what was 'in' at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 10:46 PM
–

Even when I've been absolutely slammed at work - I can spare 30 seconds to write "hey, I'll call you later, busy atm".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:10 PM
–

I will admit that there were some girls where that haughty, perfectly put together type of presentation paradoxically increased attraction instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:08 PM
–

And then you push and get something like "I'm busy, I have a life. I don't owe it to you to respond immediately" ...and I'm like, no one's that busy. They just want to reject you without actually rejecting you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:04 PM
–

Absolutely. There was a girl in my theatre program at university who, objectively speaking, was quite attractive - but she was so stuck up that I didn't even want to look at her. Just hearing her arrogant whine made me want to cover my ears.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 06:00 PM
0

I don't think that's true, at least the word "some" is doing a lot of work to justify that sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:40 PM
-1

It's easy for someone who has a girlfriend already to say "my gf is a bonus". When you don't have one, it's a much bigger issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:39 PM
-1

It's really telling that that's the stereotypical worst case scenario - a guy who wants to have sex with his partner. Oh my god the horror.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:37 PM
2

Chalamet-maxxing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:18 PM
4

Thank you for the compliment. I've had a lot of time to reflect on my advanced simpery.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:17 PM
4

I had a brief chat with the pretty girl at work a few days ago. It was a slow period in the office and she wandered over to my team's area to politely make conversation with me and my boss. Something that was nothing for her, just shooting the breeze. But for me, it made my day. The whole time we were talking I was just lost in her blue eyes, marveling at her perfection. It was like giving a man dying of thirst a couple of drops of water, just enough to keep me going. I'm amazed at the restorati…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 05:08 PM
1

'Why not' is such a tricky thing. I'm susceptible to it too. She seems to enjoy my company, we get along... why not? From their perspective, it's an insult - if you think 'why not' about every woman who doesn't immediately dislike you, then it's not specific to that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 09:23 PM
1

It's funny, a week ago her videos started popping up on sites I frequent. I pretty much ignored them since she wasn't my type. Now she's gone viral.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 09:20 PM
1

Such a wild story, how do these people even meet?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:48 PM
1

agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:28 PM
3

Stephanie Vaquer is my current favorite wrestler. ...how realistic are my chances?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:23 PM
-2

A little bit yeah. I assume if they're open minded enough to come to PPD and debate about these things that they'd understand some of the underlying reasons why someone would come to think that way - the years of crushing isolation, feelings of inadequacy and being 'left behind' in dating, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:10 PM
-2

Well, this thread was an eye opener. Zero tolerance whatsoever. Figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 03:58 PM
2

My boss asked if I date much and said I was a "catch". That's been keeping me going for a good while.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 10:05 AM
1

What is this, the last 10 minutes of Threads?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 10:03 AM
1

If she wanted to, she would.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 10:02 AM
12

"Travel, food, hiking, football" It's about as cliche as me putting "Marvel, Star Wars, D&D, Scorsese movies"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:30 AM
1

You're getting very hung up on my use of the word "mandatory". In high school, I couldn't just not show up to English or Math. I had no choice but to do those subjects, because they are essential skills I need to develop. If I had a legitimate reason why I couldn't do one of those things, I'd need to get an exemption or an accommodation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:25 AM
1

Basically. I don't want people to be excluded from dating because they don't have abs. I want everyone to be fit enough to meet the impossibly high standards of dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:21 AM
1

Doctor's note.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:13 AM
1

They'll have motivation enough to keep doing it since they'll be able to date and dating apps will work for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:12 AM
0

Doctor's note to get out of it. No silly excuses. It's for their own good. I'd rather they get out of high school with a solid base of physical fitness first before they are allowed to squander it thoughtlessly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 06:09 AM
0

This has been my entire platform since coming to this sub a year and a half ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 11:03 PM
3

I have to agree on this point. Because it's such a rare opportunity you feel like you have to make the most of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 10:51 PM
7

No lies detected.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:42 AM
5

Mandatory gym programs in schools, geared around strict dieting and bodybuilding regimens. If the pre-requisite is having abs, then you need to start early or else fall behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 09:41 AM
2

5'10, perfectly average.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 08:01 PM
2

Last time I was at the doctor they weighed me, that was a few months ago. 410 pounds if you can believe it. I watch wrestling and it was pretty confronting to know I weigh as much as Rikishi. At one point back in 2020 I was down to 340, which was a marked improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 07:57 PM
1

I think it's a common thread with these types of limited run series where they spend all season slowly building up to the point where they can finally start to actually pay off all the story beats, then it all clicks into place in the last episode. So I'm withholding judgement until the end of the Season at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:17 PM
2

It's the disconnect between the initial interest, where they're actively engaging, flirty and forward, to the total reversal after the date when they start to pull away. I'm consistent the whole way through. I've only gone on three dates (aside from the one that led to my long term relationship) and it's that switch that always blindsides me. All of a sudden they can just go "nah, I'm good". And every time it hits me like a train.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:14 PM
1

It's fine. We're halfway into the Season and barely anything has happened. Just a lot of chess pieces slowly moving around the board. I'm enjoying it, especially the flashbacks to young Tula, she is legit 10/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:02 PM
7

It really changed my whole outlook once I started mentally adding (with abs) to every comment about women's preferences. They all suddenly started to make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:00 PM
4

I've tried in the past. It works initially. I can stick to a diet and go for daily walks for the first few months no problem. Then usually something happens to break that discipline and I backslide, gaining all the weight back and then some. I have an addiction. The way other people use alcohol or drugs, I use food. It's a notoriously difficult addiction to break, because we all have to eat. I just can't seem to stop myself once I start. I don't drink alcohol, because I know that if I did I'd ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:23 PM
3

Yes, neither of them gave me anything specific. One just expressed that she felt guilty having to reject me, and wanted me to understand that she's "not heartless". The other just sent me a one line answer in the vein of "it's fine."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:03 AM
18

I'll preface by saying that I'm not an 'average man'. I know that due to my morbid obesity and lack of social skills I'm pretty undesirable to most women. That said, in the past six years I've gone on two dates. One in September 2020, one in March 2023. Both of those were from women I met playing D&D. At the time they showed their interest in me, I wasn't actively looking to date, which is probably why I was able to just be myself around them, not desperate and overly forward. But when they made…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 10:58 AM
5

The first date I was a lot more forward and physical because we had already done a fair amount of flirting over text and over the phone beforehand. The second date I tried to match her energy and she was pretty reserved and withdrawn. I got the sense she was just there out of obligation and that I had 'lost her' sometime between asking for the date and actually going on the date itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 10:46 AM
13

I know exactly what I did wrong in my relationship. I was immature, arrogant and didn't appreciate what I had. That said, more in the spirit of the question, the last two dates I went on I thought went well, only to find the women lost interest in me afterwards. I don't know what I did wrong with those. I thought I was a gentleman, I tried to be funny and engaging, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 03:56 AM
1

Just remember, a single wrong word, even a single weird expression and she'll lose interest forever. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:31 PM
1

I've had long conversations with mine and it keeps telling me looks aren't important. A little frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:30 PM
2

I fully recognize that the media I consumed growing up conditioned me to find the Sydney Sweeney type the 'most' attractive. Can't really do much about that now, I guess I'm stuck preferring blondes with perfect breasts.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:27 PM
1

I tried it once and boy it was awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:26 PM
1

All the women at my work are married (at least, all the ones I have regular contact with).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 09:22 PM
2

Back in high school I co-hosted a wrestling radio show. Mike Arrow was my 'gimmick' name, because I was "straight as an arrow" - ie, I told the unvarnished truth and always 'shot straight'. Shooting is a wrestling term that means you're telling the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 03:49 PM
2

At the moment, I'm keenly aware I don't meet the criteria for attraction, so there's little point in trying. Once I get down to a reasonable weight I'll get a haircut, nice wardrobe, etc. Then it would make sense to invest effort in those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:04 PM
2

I think the opposite, I want rational, clear discussion instead of unhinged, barely disguised hate posts. I think that's why my conversations with ChatGPT have been so enlightening, it has to at least engage with me fairly and without being condescending or talking down to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:17 PM
–

I assume everyone is dating multiple people and that's expected This is pretty funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:01 AM
1

if you have options - hundreds and hundreds of options - of course you will choose the best, most "ideal" men Hence, the only way to win is to become the most "ideal" man. Get in the best shape you can and acquire as much money as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:42 AM
1

I often wonder how my life would have gone differently if I had used that gym membership my sister got me when I started gaining weight in my late teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:00 AM
2

If I was that hot, then finding someone else would be easy enough that I wouldn't be too broken up over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:31 PM
0

It's easy to be a saint in paradise.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:30 PM
1

I lost weight, then all of sudden they started to like me It's so true. Both of the last two dates I went on were after a concerted effort to lose weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 10:41 PM
5

doesn't mean all other men in the world have zero chance whatsoever It does however mean that they get next to zero matches on dating apps compared to those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 09:35 PM
-1

The only 6 that matters is having a six pack. The others are good to have but not required. Basically, the most important factor in a guy's dating success is "is he in good physical shape?" I am convinced, and have been since I was 13 years old, that my not having a six pack is the main barrier to my dating success.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 09:29 PM
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