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View 23 posts and 12,575 comments by nomdplume on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
19

Question for BluePillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/15 08:23 PM
18

"Science"nomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:26 PM
17

nomdplume/r/TheRedPill13/08/14 12:00 AM
16

Discussionnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/15 06:27 PM
14

nomdplume/r/TheRedPill14/10/14 03:40 AM
14

CMVnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/15 03:28 PM
13

Ask Red Pillnomdplume/r/TheRedPill11/09/14 06:31 PM
11

Debatenomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/14 06:46 PM
10

nomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/15 07:45 PM
9

Question for BluePillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/15 10:39 PM
8

Question for BluePillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/16 04:51 AM
8

nomdplume/r/askTRP25/09/14 06:51 PM
8

Discussionnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/14 05:17 PM
7

Question for RedPillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/15 03:42 AM
7

Question for BluePillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/14 07:28 AM
6

Discussionnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/15 04:10 AM
5

Question for BluePillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/15 07:22 PM
3

CMVnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/15 04:43 PM
3

Ask Red Pillnomdplume/r/TheRedPill24/09/14 06:31 AM
2

Debatenomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/15 12:19 AM
1

Question for BluePillnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/15 06:47 PM
1

CMVnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/15 06:37 PM
0

Discussionnomdplume/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/15 05:07 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 12,575 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Don't forget that TBP is also misogynistic. They just target their misogyny against a different type of woman than many misogynist TRPers do. Any woman who doesn't align with how they think women should be, often defined narrowly, is 'broken' or 'damaged' or 'shallow' or brainwashed or otherwise not a Real Womantm.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/17 03:26 AM
1

My life went through a cycle... Omega (no success in any form) -> primarily Beta (with just enough Alpha to get me into trouble) -> Angry Beta (anger phase due to all the trouble I experienced repeatedly) -> Alpha (or, at least, enough alpha to ensure some pretty remarkable success stories) with enough Beta to keep me out of trouble -> devolution back to primarily Beta (personal empowerment slipping away) -> Omega (back to a complete absence of any success). I didn't even discover the manosphere…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 07:44 PM
1

I have seen little evidence that anyone - male or female - is actually wired for monogamy. At least, not the lifelong variant that we have created. If we are, we as a species are really shitty at fulfilling our biological imperative (which is why I tend to think that we're not actually wired that way), or, in the case of men, even acting like we have the biological imperative. Again - how many men do you know that, once they've chosen a monogamous sexual partner, feel no feelings of sexual attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 07:33 PM
1

No, but come on, you can't just chalk up your nature and just expect your SO to forgive everything that hurts them because of it. I'm not doing that. I'm saying that making men wrong for their nature is unproductive and unlikely to achieve what the woman might be hoping to achieve. Instead of making them wrong, women can be responsible for their own experience and, you know, recognize that it is their issue and make a request of their partner, if they have a problem. It's where the focus is plac…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 01:26 AM
1

I'm not saying he's "wrong" just that he's probably better off imagining how it must be from her perspective instead of dismissing it. Of course. And you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. although telling a woman "it's ok sweetie it's just my nature" probably won't assuage her fears in the best manner either. What would you suggest? He's telling the truth there - it is his nature. You think he should lie?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 10:03 PM
1

Maybe the fat person who can't stay away actually does have a higher drive than the skinny person who can. Why is this not a possibility whatsoever? Because you are drawing conclusions regarding someone's innate experience based on their outward experience, when, in fact, there is not always a direct correlation between one's feelings and one's actions. Clearly, someone who is brazenly acting out hypergamy and polygyny is hypergamous or polygynous. But that doesn't mean that someone who isn't ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 10:02 PM
1

As I said, I'm as polygynous by nature as any guy I've met. Most guys I know are similarly polygynous (within a range), married or not. My choice to get married was made despite my polygynous desires, not because I don't have them. Again, this is like saying fat people like ice cream more than skinny people, that's why they are fat. That's a totally arbitrary and specious claim, and it sounds like the kind of rationalization a fat person would use - 'Oh, you're skinnier than me because you don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 09:16 PM
1

I think we're talking about two different things. Female solipsism is what leads to them attacking men for their behavior. The male response of 'what is the big deal' is a reaction to the attack. It has nothing to do with solipsism or not solipsism. As I said, I understand the female paradigm for this stuff, and I still bristle at being attacked. I understand why they are attacking me, but that doesn't blunt my reaction to being attacked. If you want me to do something other than what I am doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 09:11 PM
1

Huh? To what is this referring? Don't know the context, but I'm also not sure why you seem to be conflating 'oneitis' and 'love.' I think 'oneitis' is highly problematic and counter-productive. I also don't think it has much to do with 'love.'
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 09:05 PM
1

you're talking about sex in a relationship I'm actually not thinking that specifically. In fact, I would say that it is more important in casual sex. If you suck in bed, good luck getting a second chance with the girl. You seem to be equating everything I am saying with sucking in bed. Nothing could be farther from the truth. What I am advising is how you become good in bed. That's the point. Roosh straight up says "Porn has always been my teacher". So I would take what he has to say about sexua…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 09:03 PM
1

I just think it's fair to say those who actually go and live it probably have more of a drive than those who choose not too. I disagree. I'm not that strongly aligned with biological determinism and/or acting on feelings, I guess. Someone can have feelings, even strong ones, and not act on them. Maybe it's different for women (many would argue it is, though I don't make that argument very strongly in general). If a woman branch swings every three years is she really the same as a women who stays…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:57 PM
1

it's perfectly ok to just dismiss her Why do you keep moralizing this? I said it's understandable, not that it is 'okay' (or not 'okay'). Men are doing what people do when they feel attacked - there is no good/bad about it. Hell, I even understand why women are like this, and I'm likely to get defensive about it if attacked. That's why engaging in 'right/wrong' conversations are so unproductive in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:51 PM
1

Just debating the concepts, I guess. Roosh being Roosh, I wouldn't be surprised if his advice is hamfisted and unsophisticated, so I'm sure there are issues with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:47 PM
1

His actions are in line with his nature, for sure. But that doesn't mean that men who aren't taking the same actions have a different nature. It seems you are falling into the same naturalistic fallacy that BPers accuse TRPers of falling into. TRP says we have to look at a woman's actions? We have to look at both. That's why 'AWALT' (and 'AMALT' for women, regardless of what they want to believe). For example, just because a woman isn't obviously acting on hypergamy all the time doesn't mean she…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:39 PM
1

I'm sure that's true. But that's true for any 'improvement' endeavor, not just RP. Shifting paradigms takes work, and humans aren't particularly oriented towards doing more work...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:35 PM
1

When attacked, people defend. It's a natural reaction. It doesn't have anything to do with solipsism, IMO. If someone discounts someone else's concerns feelings when put forward in a rational and personally responsible way, then maybe we are getting into solipsism...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:34 PM
1

In the link, the guy says don't ask her if she came. Again, haven't read it, but that makes sense. See my first point about self-consciousness in women and 'neediness' in men. "Worrying about her pleasure sacrifices your own." Which can be true. It also might be emphasizing how a man should be thinking - many/most women get off on him getting off. Unless she never gets off, of course, or if he's a two-pump chump every time. But scorekeeping in any area of a relationship can get quite problematic…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:32 PM
1

He is still less polygamous than he would be if he was cheating/spinning plates, IMO. This does not compute, IMO. That's like saying that someone who forgoes ice cream has less of a sweet tooth than someone who doesn't. Again, one's actions is not a reliable measure of one's desires. I'm polygynous as hell, and I've never cheated, because my rational mind does a pretty good job of overriding my innate drive. I have spun plates a couple times, but that was more a function of opportunity rather th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:25 PM
1

many guys wouldn't understand why women would be upset by this They may not understand why, but they definitely know that women get upset by it, lol. I don't know a guy who doesn't know this. The fact that they get so upset by it is precisely why I set about looking to understand. they might brush it off as "what's the big deal" They may do that because they are rebelling against what they see as a constant shaming of their sexuality. I perfectly understand that attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:20 PM
1

That's like saying that people who are successful with money aren't interested in teaching what they know to people who are a disaster with money. I'm pretty certain that isn't true.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:17 PM
1

My flair disagrees with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:15 PM
1

RP is based on laying out what men need to do and who they need to be in order to be successful in sex/love/relationships. It's based on looking at what 'naturals'/already successful guys do and don't do (and be and don't be) and working from that model. I don't think any 'natural'/successful men are as you describe, so I'm not sure how what you describe can be considered the model for 'RP men.'
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 08:09 PM
1

don't even pretend to care about making her cum. I didn't read the post (can't be fucked to) in question, but I wouldn't write this off too hastily. Many, many women get self-conscious during sex. The worst thing a man can do in this case is withhold his own natural enthusiasm in an attempt to 'satisfy her.' Having had sex in the proximity of other couples for a decade or more, I've seen this play out more times than I can count. The man, wanting desperately to be 'good in bed', spends the whole…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:46 PM
1

It looks and plays out as hypergamy. It's a parallel you can make, even if it's artificial because it's what is actually happening IRL in large part. I agree, but that's why it's important to look at the drive, not the actions taken. IMO, both sides make the mistake of determining sex/mating strategies from what they see people doing rather than examining the underlying, innate drives. People can easily be driven towards one thing while simultaneously choosing to not follow that drive (see anyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:26 PM
1

Red Pill's definition of Hypergamy is not standard. I would say the the original RP definitions are pretty consistent. I've never had a problem understanding it in specificity. I would say that the TRP userbase uses the term in all kinds of off-the-wall ways at times (even more true for concepts like 'AWALT'), but that's true for all kinds of terms and definitions in all kinds of discussions.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:18 PM
1

This. And lulz @ moralizing faggotry That's exactly what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:14 PM
1

Nature. That is the goal of all species - to survive and reproduce, whatever the cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:12 PM
1

Not every married/monogamous man is cheating, even if he's attracted to other women. As I pointed out above, his being attracted to other women is a sign of his polygynous nature. He doesn't have to cheat in order to be considered polygynous by nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:11 PM
1

with men who are in a monogamous culture This is key, IME. I think a lot of men look like they are hypergamous by nature, when in fact they are just abiding by the social structures that are in place. They are expected to be monogamous, so they optimize within that constraint. One of the ways I see the hypergamy vs. polygyny drive play out is in how they view other members of the opposite sex while in a monogamous relationship. Women tend to be much more sexually focused on either their partner …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:08 PM
2

Huh. Been around a while and I don't remember anyone posting as Roosh. :shrug: That said, I never really warmed to Roosh. Sometimes he wrote useful stuff, but less so than many others.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 03:39 PM
1

If a guy doesn't learn to embody and naturally express the fundamentals of RP, women probably aren't going to want them. Seems pretty self-explanatory. Theare is nothing about the action of subbing to and posting on TRP that will make a man more attractive. Any more than subbing to and posting on /r/personalfinance will make someone rich. Becoming successful with women requires a paradigm shift, same as any other area of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 03:03 PM
2

Under what username?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 02:57 PM
2

That doesn't mean those men are hypergamous. Hypergamy is a drive, not a specific action or outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 02:55 PM
2

I have yet to meet a truly hypergamous man. And I've been around a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 02:34 PM
1

There's plenty of hot chicks. I see dozens every day. I also, unfortunately, became invisible to them a ways back. I did get accosted by a couple of post-menopausal drunk women the other night, so I'm apparently not entirely invisible yet, but that wasn't what I would call a very exciting experience...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 08:51 PM
1

No. I mean, some of those 'movements' work at cross-purposes with each other, so I don't know how they could all be considered the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 04:03 PM
1

Believe me - in these days of drought and hardship I really wish someone had been taking video so I could have something to cheer me up. The memories are sadly fading, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 03:43 AM
1

You might double-check your logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 08:16 PM
2

I think it's also far more likely that you were simply immature for your age. How would you draw that conclusion, lol? Seems like a substantial leap...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:38 PM
2

Meh I think most 16 year old guys would fuck hot girls in their early 20's if they had the opportunity. I think the only people who don't think this is true is women, lol. I was all about the older ladies when I was really young.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:48 PM
1

It's not rocket science that in general, 25 year olds look the best but women are generally attracted to people her own age. So then why wouldn't an 18-year old think a 25-year old was attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:46 PM
2

Point in case: as a 26-year-old dude, you couldn't pay me enough to spend more than a few minutes around 18 or 19-year-olds. They're just so damn annoying. Haha - I had that age spread between my wife and I. Despite her being 18 years old, everyone in my life congratulated me on finally finding a 'mature' girl. Prior to that, I always dated my age or older. Maturity often has nothing to do with one's chronological age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:42 PM
1

If it's true does it then become a law, technically? (I'm not being facetious. Genuinely wondering.) No idea. But in economics, even 'laws' aren't technically laws, at least in the scientific sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:39 PM
1

More likely to have baggage of kids or divorce, and those who have neither - well there's a lot of issues found in the 'un-selected' pool. ??? You get that a lot of people are not getting married right out of college, right? I don't think a guy in, say, his early-mid-thirties is considered part of the 'un-selected' pool, at least not where I live. But regardless, if he is attractive to her, what does it matter if he is 'un-selected' or not? When I was in my late thirties, I had several FWBs in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:38 PM
1

It's okay not to like men older than you. Describing them all as being like your dad is the ridiculous part. I'm nine years older than my wife. I can promise you I am nothing like her dad. Same goes for my former FWB now best friend - I'm twelve years older than her, and her dad is 20 years older than me. She and I are much closer in age and attitude than her dad and I.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 02:01 PM
1

Who tried to shame me? Funny - I never felt shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 05:16 AM
2

Those also aren't accurate generalizations if there is no consensus regarding them. The Law of Supply and Demand is considered an incredibly accurate generalization because almost no one has yet been able to put forward any kind of solid refutation of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:44 AM
1

Your wife would be thinking about branch swinging as soon as I passed that shit test. It's not a shit test when you're getting called out for insulting large swaths of the population. Sometimes assholes are just assholes. I don't whine about people shaming me like a woman. I don't either. You're point?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:37 AM
1

Right but forming a judgment that, in general, young hot women don't go for a much older man without being after his money is still an objective observation. It's a generalization, it's not true for every one, but it's also true from an objectively observable place. "Gold digger" didn't just come up out of nowhere. I agree that some young women like older men for their money. That's not an invalid observation. To characterize most young women who may find an older man attractive as nothing more …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:35 AM
1

in my opinion early 20's and later seeking older men, for women is probably more connected to insecurity and a deflated sense of self worth. First of all, maybe the issue is seeking? Most of the younger women I hooked up with, including my wife, weren't 'seeking' older men. They just appreciated all I had to offer, and I happened to be older. Secondly, I have no idea where this idea comes from that younger guys > older guys for women. Older guys have a lot of the qualities that women are looking…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:22 AM
2

Well stated. My wife actually pursued me. I was very hesitant to get involved with someone so young, but it worked out nicely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:16 AM
1

You wouldn't, of course, 'cause you're someone who enjoys casting dispersions and trying to inflict shame. But she would probably enjoy giving your insensitive ass a piece of her mind anyway. As would many of my decidedly non-trashy friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 04:12 AM
1

I know many women who would want some words with you. My wife, for starters, and she would probably run circles around most of the people on here...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:52 AM
1

Yes, you are correct - I get triggered by people spouting obvious bullshit intended to insult innocent people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 03:51 AM
2

Again - there is a difference between disagreeing with a specific generalization (or several), and disagreeing with using generalizations. Many/most BPers argue against using any generalizations, especially those that break along gender lines. I don't agree with many generalizations made here or on TRP, but that's because I think they are inaccurate, not because I think that generalizations are useless or bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 01:43 AM
1

there's a lot of judgment being made about what does or doesn't make men and women high value/low value. There are two ways to form those judgments, though. The first is to form a judgment based on one's own preferences, moral compass, or social views. The second - the judgments I find helpful and try to limit myself to (successfully or not) - is to form them based on objective observation. I can judge post-wall women (whatever that means, but I'll just be using my own definition here for simpli…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 08:29 PM
1

I don't reject generalizations (and I don't think RP does either). I reject specific generalizations based on their failure to accurately describe reality. That's the difference. I'm all for generalizations that accurately capture the reality of human behavior. Which, I guess I should point out, I think can be accurately described using generalizations, a view that sets me apart from many, especially those who adhere to the idea that everyone is a special snowflake.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 07:50 PM
1

So you don't make TRP-like judgments about the quality of different people/genders based on little information? I make those kind of personal judgements when they are relevant to me, or to people in whom I have a stake in life, or when I see what I consider to be an injustice or a potential injustice happening (such as criticisms designed to shame others into submission). you don't think post-wall women are "lower value"? I think post-wall women are of 'lower value' in the SMP, but that's becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 07:44 PM
1

And my point is that TRP/RP never denies it. It's completely upfront with it's generalizations. Unlike those who are supposedly against TRP/RP because it uses generalizations while using just as many generalizations of their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 07:37 PM
1

Of course TRP does it. RP is based on identifying and cataloging trends and patterns and generalizations, and it is attacked for doing so, despite the fact that those attacking like to do the exact same thing. And I have no issue with men (and myself) being generalized. I often agree with them. Even the unflattering/negative ones. If I take issue, it's usually with the specific generalizations themselves, or with the prescriptions based on the generalizations, not with the fact that I am/men are…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 06:58 PM
1

I probably wouldn't say anything, honestly. I tend to shy away from making those kinds of judgements. I would hope they were both having fun. When I was young (early twenties), I (and many of my friends) went through an 'older woman' phase. Worked for us at the time. I don't think any of us stayed there as we got older, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 06:49 PM
2

Feminism is all about maximizing female power. Older man/younger woman could belie a potential power imbalance in favor of the man, so it is suspect and probably bad. Older woman/younger man could belie a potential power imbalance in favor of the woman (or, at least, an equitable power balance, since men are automatically assumed to have the power position), so it's all good, and such relationships should maybe even be encouraged in the name of 'girl power.'
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 06:09 PM
2

This is a big thing I've heard from women my whole life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 06:02 PM
2

Not all older guys are like your dad. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that there are probably more older guys not like your dad than are like your dad. Diversity and individualization and what not. It's funny how the 'everyone is unique' and 'don't stereotype' crowd gets all crazy if someone generalizes women, but have no issue turning around to use their own preferred stereotypes and generalizations. Kinda shows the personal agenda driving their opinions...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 06:01 PM
2

Of course it's inaccurate. And I have no idea why you choose to focus on marriage when most younger women are not angling to get married right away. And still doubling down with the shame and misogynistic tendencies: I hope women hold themselves to a high enough standard You just can't quit with it, can you? "Women who defy my expectations are unfortunate and possibly malicious."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 04:37 PM
6

unless there is a large disparity of wealth. To me, dating for money is trashy. Aaaand...here's the drawing of conclusions based on your predilection for shame and casual misogyny. "Women who date older men are trashy golddiggers doing it for money." You stripes are showing...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 04:26 PM
7

A 19 year old dating a late 20s means they are probably both low quality people. Behold the casual shaming and misogyny of feminists. "Women who don't act like I think they should are damaged and not Real Womentm." Which isn't even a problem for me, actually, if they weren't also running around trying to stop everyone else from shaming and talking 'misogyny.'
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 03:53 PM
2

It might be a social circle thing since I don't know anyone with a more than 6 year age gap. How many older guys are in your social circle? And I had been out of college for five years when I started dating my now wife. She was a month out of high school. And no, her interest in me had nothing to do with drugs. And I slept with more twenty-somethings when I was in my thirties then I ever did when I myself was a twenty-something.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 03:50 PM
6

This is my direct experience as well. I think that those who are convinced that younger women aren't interested in older men are convinced because they run in social circles that are fairly homogenous age-wise. When there are more opportunities, women seem to have little problem availing themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 03:47 PM
1

Whelp, I do know that facial hair/beards are like ubiquitous now, so women have apparently loosened their standards in that regard. Maybe it's a generational thing - when I was younger, beards were mostly out and women complained about having to kiss them. And I'm presuming that back hair is still a potential deal killer for you? I mean, that's been a thing no matter what decade it is. Women have always been disgusted by back hair, as far as I can tell...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 03:38 PM
1

Where were women like you when I was playing the market, lol? I hated having to do so much manscaping. And I actually like having facial hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 01:38 AM
1

When I was in the sex party scene, being hairless was definitely preferable to having hair. The rule of thumb was, "If my mouth is going to kiss it, it better not have hair." So face, chest, nether regions were definitely expected to be bare (and back/shoulders of course, but all women have always been turned off by back/shoulder hair, as far as I can tell). Many people of both sexes just got fully lasered in order to not have to stay on top of upkeep. Lot's of naked mole rats for /u/goatismycop…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 05:20 PM
1

I agree that using celebrities is less than ideal, almost useless really. But it's not like we've got a shared pool of ordinary individuals to draw from so it's all we can realistically do. Which is the whole reason I try to use archetypes and I invite people to map those archetypes onto the men they know and have some relationship to. even a real widely accepted theory. Dude, masculinity itself is psuedo-science. As is a lot of the observations of what it is to be human. That doesn't make it in…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 07:57 PM
1

First, using celebrities as examples is not useful. People are not at all related to those individuals, so their perspectives are specious at best. It's easy to hold whatever view you want when you have absolutely no skin in the game. It's like neckbeards criticizing pictures of hot girls because 'her chin looks weird' or some stupid shit. Secondly, I'm not drawing arbitrary distinctions in masculinity. I specifically referenced the four archetypes of masculinity which, while they may all be dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 07:16 PM
1

The trick is to be a well-rounded individual who can adapt to any situation. Again, it's all about who you be, and far less about what you do. The women I've been with are from all over the boards, from a tatted-up Suicide Girl type to a country-dancing rodeo queen, lol. If you looked at my history, I assert you would be hard pressed to many common threads among them (except that they all found me attractive and I found them attractive). Women (and men) may have 'types' that they lean towards in…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 07:10 PM
1

Those are all very different interpretations of intelligence which is why a person saying they're looking for intelligence in a partner means so little. Same exact thing goes for integrity, kindness and definitely sense of humor. I don't know. Most of the people I know who are considered exceptionally intelligent are considered exceptionally intelligent by everyone. Those that are funny are considered funny by everyone. That holds especially true for integrity and kindness, where there is not a …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 05:32 PM
1

Not saying they can't, only that the women attracted to a guy who does the first aren't usually, in my experience, in the same camp as the women who enjoy the second But my point is - what about the guy who does both? It's not like the guy who does and enjoys the first cannot do and enjoy the second also. I've hooked up with/had relationships with women who are from both of those worlds. One of my closest friends, a friend since childhood, someone I consider to be like my brother, is in many way…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 05:26 PM
2

I'm not even a LTR guy, particularly, and I can agree with that. I like a relaxed good time even if it's for a short time, and I'm willing to sacrifice a little bit of looks to have that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 03:57 AM
1

I wouldn't call them '10s', but they don't have the glam/model look, which is a plus. And they are all extraordinarily cute. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 03:55 AM
2

I would say it's a glamour thing. Some guys are into glamour, which is fine. I'm definitely not, though I'm always pretty open minded when it comes to women, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 03:53 AM
1

Word
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 03:50 AM
1

I was a full-time SAHD for the first couple years of my son's life. Now I am a half-time SAHD. Never have I been busier or more exhausted in life. Like, not even close, and I had a long career in corporate management for a global tech company that required quite a bit of travel. And what technology has done away with the time and skill involved in preparing food, etc.? Shopping for and making fresh and well-balanced meals still takes a ton of time (as does cleaning up from said meals every day).…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 01:33 AM
1

Why can't someone who is fun be able to do all of those things? Fun people have fun with whatever they happen to be doing. 'Fun' is a way of being in life; it's not limited to what you do. Fun people are fun, regardless of their circumstances. I love sweeping women off their feet, being the life of the party, taking women on vacation, and surprising them with gifts. And I can do all of those things pretty well. I also love costuming/dressing up and used to do that all the time before I had a kid…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 12:31 AM
1

You can't seriously tell me you think someone like Atlas likes the same kinds of guys as someone like Lollygagyo. No, but even they would probably agree that they look for those qualities in the men they partner with (though how they prioritize those qualities may differ). So I don't understand - 'kindness' and 'dependability' and 'moral integrity' and 'intelligence' are all specific qualities. Those aren't 'generic' qualities. Men/people are either characterized by those qualities, or they aren…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 11:59 PM
1

Not sure what these have to do with the discussion, but... Do I need to link the study about most dudes withholding emotional support if they're the more attractive partner? Attractive partners tend to invest less when in relationships when they are with partners they think they can do better than? Say it isn't so! #dreadgame lol Or the ones about women finding familiar faces more attractive and trustworthy? Yeah, there is a whole lot more to that story, otherwise women would be most interested …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:39 PM
1

Also, this: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5oxb8y/article_discussion_the_top_20_traits_women_want/?ref=share&ref_source=link /u/ManSentHisOwnWay - do you dispute the results of that study as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:27 PM
1

Is that stuff supposed to equal fun? Why would it need to be fun? It's possible to be fun and still hold some ideas that aren't directly related to fun...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:24 PM
1

If money isn't a concern, which it wasn't for Anna, the fact that he has a low-status job isn't going to be a deal-breaker. Low-status jobs are often deal breakers, though. It's been both studied and observed for a long time now (I came across the data a couple decades ago) that women desire men who make more than they do, even those women who are financially independent. As lots of people know, money is often used as a proxy for status and power, which is why the filthy rich still keep fighting…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:21 PM
1

Do you think they are justified? You seem sympathetic to the idea of media being too influential. I can appreciate the idea, for sure, especially given how media-obsessed our culture is. Of course, the question becomes, 'What's realistic and what's unrealistic?' Clearly, a lot of celebrities/models/whatever are, in fact, real people. And just like I would caution against using celebrities as examples of sexual dynamics or relationships, I would also caution women to use celebrities as the bar th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:13 PM
1

You haven't noticed that many of the BPs who post here place looks at a low priority? Yes. While I wouldn't say it's a low priority, I also wouldn't say that it is a top priority. However, that's beside the point - most non-RPers are constantly trying to point out that people marry (important distinction) looks-matched partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:04 PM
1

The ultimate man embodies all 4 archetypes. While that is undoubtedly true, I would also assert that an 'apex male' could be found in any one of those archetypes. Clearly, 'Don Juan' (using your definition) could be considered the apex of 'The Lover.' He doesn't have to also be a 'King' or 'Warrior' in order to be considered an embodiment of masculinity. I think that understanding would disarm a lot of the criticisms of 'masculinity'.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 05:57 PM
1

Most men are actually fond of women. Too fond for their own good...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 02:57 PM
1

I think 'Frozen' is pretty much straight-up about the nice guy getting the girl. In real life, she would have nothing to do sexually with his ice-selling, low-status, lovable loser ass. Though she would love all the great things he does for her, so he'd be her BFF, no doubt.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 02:27 PM
1

So I presume you think women are failing as adults because they complain of body issues resulting from what they see in the media, and all the campaigns to try to fight against 'unrealistic portrayals' are equally vapid?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 02:22 PM
3

My thoughts exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 02:11 AM
1

My wife feels like I'm her best friend most when I am embodying RP (which means I use the 'techniques' both naturally and appropriately). If she doesn't respect me, she really doesn't want to be best friends with me. Which makes sense, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 02:10 AM
2

There really isn't a large disagreement on what a masculine man is. You can disagree on the best sort of masculine men however. I've been meaning to make a post about this using the four archetypes of masculinity (King, Warrior, Magician, Lover). Everyone seems to want to point at some narrow stereotype of masculinity and claim that there is no other expression of masculinity. Which, of course, is convenient for those who are too resigned or threatened to want to embody or desire masculinity, or…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 02:07 AM
1

Women who appeal to you and the people you know.... No, women who appeal to the men they are around or know. My own personal opinion isn't at play here. Fuck, performers (especially female performers, for better or for worse) make their bank by being appealing/attractive to as many people as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:38 AM
1

Let's go back to this: Great art stands the test of time and crosses cultures. That universality is what has it be considered 'great.' And I definitely think humor can be considered an art form. It is possible for someone/something to have universal appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:36 AM
1

You're examples of exceptions make it seem nearly all well-adjusted straight women are attracted to the same type of men. You get that archetypes present in all kinds of ways, right? I mean, the standard literary view is that there are four main masculine archetypes, and there are lots of variations within those archetypes, so they don't all present the exact same way. But that doesn't keep them from being archetypal. And I know of at least a few women who are admired/desired by everyone who has…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:31 AM
1

I think you are A) looking myopically (many humorists have appeal and influence that has lasted centuries), and B) downplaying the significance of their achievement. Do you know how many funny guys there are in life who would kill to be able to write their own checks with their humor? The most successful of the successful can, and that speaks to their universal appeal. And most of those guys probably had/have more choices when it comes to women than they know what to do with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:24 AM
1

I'm sure many people thought the same thing when they saw my wife and I together. :shrug: I'm not a 'lookist', so I don't think looks are paramount. OTOH, that is a pretty wide disparity. But whatever happened to the standard BP line that everyone winds up looks-matched in life? If anything, the responses align with BP thinking more than RP thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:20 AM
1

Girls like different things. That's the universal. Would you say the same about guys? Because I definitely know women who are universally appealing to damn near every man who knows them. Plus, I've definitely known a few guys who are close to universally attractive to women. Maybe not always long-term or for relationships, but certainly in the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:08 AM
1

There is no person who's sense of humor encompasses everyone's. I think it is fair to say that the most successful humorists/comedians of all time are pretty damned universal in their humor. Are there a few people out there who either hate on them (which doesn't necessarily mean they don't think they are funny, incidentally) or fail to understand their humor? Sure. But they aren't multi-millionaires and/or celebrated long after their deaths because of a small base of ardent fans. They achieve th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 01:04 AM
2

there is no man or type of man that is sexually attractive to all women. Of course not. 'All women' doesn't even have to be the goal. 'Most women' is sufficient. Some women are lesbians. Some identify as asexual. Some suffer from sexual trauma or have serious identity or psychological issues such that 'archetypal' or 'masculine' men are seen as threatening. There are all kinds of women who might not be attracted to archetypically masculine men. But the majority can be. Because let me tell you, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 12:58 AM
1

And furthermore, the abundance mentality is even more created as they literally will have too many options. I knew one guy who was pretty much the apex of 'don juan/player/seducer/whatever'. He was as horny (if not more horny) than any other guy, but he never gave a thought to how he was going to get laid, simply because sex with pretty much whomever he wanted was on tap for him at all times. All he had to do was approach and escalate with someone and it was on. And, of course, if for some reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 12:45 AM
1

How about "chicks prioritize the sex/lust/desire half of their innate drive when they are young and then prioritize the love/comfort/security half when they are ready to 'settle down' and have kids"? I don't know why that wouldn't make sense. Hell, I'm a guy, and I went through a somewhat milder version of that - I went for hot crazy 'slutty' chicks until I got tired of the rollercoaster and decided I wanted to 'settle down' with a nice girl and have a stable relationship. And I was never even h…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 12:36 AM
1

the Don Juan doesn't even need to try The most successful 'players' I've known are remarkable for the fact that they tend to seduce just by 'being themselves.' 'Themselves' being highly seductive in nature. They certainly want sex like every other guy, so they aren't not trying to get laid, but they are usually more opportunists than calculated schemers. They are the epitome of 'abundance mentality.'
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 11:10 PM
7

The group is not amoral. RP is amoral. Big difference. In fact, it's nearly impossible for any human being to actually think/speak in amoral terms - our whole consciousness is oriented towards seeing things in moral terms. The best we can do is to recognize when our personal morality is helpful/productive for us and when it is not, and mitigate accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 10:32 PM
1

Don't know if you are still reading, but... As for the whole "dualistic" aspect, I think that women actually prefer more masculine faces when ovulating and more feminine faces when not ovulating, though I could be wrong. Yes, the sex drive goes into overdrive during ovulation, and that sex drive is generally targeted towards strong/healthy genes. But that is just one facet of the dualistic nature of human mating behavior. They want the "masculine" sperm but they want the maternal-looking-nice-gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:42 PM
1

AF/BB describes the dualistic mating drive. There is no 'black and white' - the mating drive is constituted of a desire for both. Healthy genes + parental investment in offspring. Both are needed in order to ensure that one's genes stay in the gene pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:29 PM
3

There a huge difference between a 'need' and a 'right.'
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/17 11:40 PM
13

David Buss is a well-respected evolutionary psychologist who has researched a lot of sexual dynamics that are hypothesized to be the result of evolutionary adaptation. He's a good place to start. I also feel like the idea behind AF/BB - that humans have a dualistic mating drive - is pretty widely accepted by many sexologists/sociologists.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/17 09:04 PM
1

Are all women really attracted to authority figures Are you asking if women are attracted to dominant men, or to authority figures? Because those two things are not the same. Dominant men may or may not be authority figures, and many positions of authority are held by men who are not dominant at all. Being in a position of authority is a circumstance. Dominance is a way of being. And yes, many/most women like truly dominant men. If status and power is attractive to women (and the consensus seems…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 09:35 PM
2

I think he's legit a genius. Agree completely. I have an incredible (and therefore unusual) amount of respect for him. Not only is he a genius, he seems to me to be one of the most wise, insightful, and enlightened individuals around. Like Zen Master level, from my perspective. He just gets it. He's pretty much at the top of my 'if you could have coffee with anyone' list. And yeah, both the childbirth and the suddenness of parenthood was traumatic for both of us in our own ways. It was an experi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 09:27 PM
2

Yep. Clearly, they used the breast example in the show because there is a little bit (or a lot) of truth in every joke. The jokes wouldn't be funny otherwise. My wife sustained an incredible amount of damage to her entire 'nether regions' area during childbirth (I didn't even know such damage was possible - you don't see that stuff in all the educational videos, lol), and I had the bad fortune of seeing all that damage up close and personal despite my best efforts to avoid having to process that…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 08:17 PM
2

While I can't disagree with what you are saying here, I would say that it all depends on how you use categorizations, rather than just that you use them. Categorizing yourself as a victim, for example, is going to be tremendously unproductive and disempowering. And that will be true of any use of categorizations to fulfill some moral imperative. But if you can remove the categorizations from any sense of morality, they become much more useful. You're then dealing with present 'reality' rather th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 08:03 PM
1

I think this discounts the innate drive in both sexes to provide substantial parental investment in offspring. Many, many men feel a strong compulsion to ensure the well-being of both their mate and their mate's offspring as well. That's the 'mate guarding' and 'protect and provide' impulse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 07:55 PM
2

Don't get me wrong - my feeling that way doesn't fully discourage me in the moment, lol. It's just that I notice an ambivalence within myself that was never there before. Prior to the birth of my son, my wife was always 'my slut', so to speak. I loved her dearly, too, of course, but when it came to sex? I sexually objectified/sexualized/whatever her and just wanted her to be 'my slut.' Something I would say she wanted even more than I did, lol. But it's harder to want to see her as a 'my slut' w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 07:51 PM
2

So social science fields that identify, categorize, and predict human behavior - economics, psychology, sociology, business, communications, etc. - shouldn't be referenced in order to improve one's social interactions and productivity in dealing with others?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 07:31 PM
1

Is that a possible way to sexualise her again? I'm sure there is. One of the issues, though, is her willingness to sexualize herself again as well. It's difficult for me to sexualize someone who doesn't have it in them to be particularly sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 04:50 AM
2

I don't know that saying 'comfort is a lust killer' would be true. Love and lust can coexist. Too much comfort, though, or comfort with a lack of excitement/separation to balance would be a lust killer. But the problem there (for most people) would be one of balance, not an 'either/or' scenario. Because, on the flip-side, many women need to feel some sense of comfort/security/trust to really open themselves up sexually. It's an ongoing paradox of a dynamic...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 04:47 AM
1

Depends on how you define 'acquaintance' and 'friend', I suppose. And social circles include both, so either has the potential to cause issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 11:47 PM
1

an est. member of your social circle, though. I swear that women hear advocate for this route all the time. I'll try to point it out to you next time I see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 09:23 PM
4

The idea that a girl is too nice, too sweet, too family oriented, too comforting, etc, too much of any of that for me to see as sexual I don't know exactly how to explain it, other than it's none of those things. I mean, I can argue that my wife has always had those qualities as well, but it never prevented me from lusting after her. Something changed, though, when she became an actual mother, both for her and for me. Part of it, I'm sure, is that she had difficulty relating to herself as a sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 09:22 PM
3

I've known women who would be physically attractive enough to fuck, but something is off in their energy such that I can't actually imagine fucking them. I have a friend who is perpetually single despite being fairly good-looking, and I think that is certainly the case with her. No matter how close we are or what we are doing, she remains sexually unappealing for no obvious or overt reason. I've fucked women objectively less physically attractive than her, so it's not anything physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 08:52 PM
1

it's why it's generally a bad idea to try and fuck your friends. Despite so many women, even here, proclaiming that attraction develops over time so you should get to know her and be friends first before making your move. :sigh:
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 08:49 PM
2

The "truth" it's pointing to is that some dudes can't bone women they love. Couldn't it also be the case that they have conflicted feelings or ambivalent feelings or some other kind of trouble boning women they 'love' and 'respect' (put in quotes because those terms would need a lot more defining to be relevant, I think)? Freud may have made it binary, but we know that almost psychological conditions exist on a spectrum. For example, we are all narcissists to a greater or lesser degree, but it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:55 PM
1

All the guys I know who are really successful with women are near-universally seen as super lovely people. I am too, as a rule. But I still have to approach, and, as I indicated above, I run the risk of being seen as 'rude' (or, at least, 'inappropriate') for doing so, even if there is nothing objectively rude or inappropriate about my approach. If you make a woman feel uncomfortable, that usually qualifies as being 'rude', 'inappropriate', or even acting like an asshole. Again, I hear this over…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:50 PM
1

I guess for me I see being an 'asshole' as being socially retarded (as in, a person who doesn't care about anyone else but themselves and either doesn't know or doesn't care about being prosocial).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:44 PM
1

That would be the extreme, though. I already said that I recognize something like the Madonna/Whore thing in me (though it is not so black and white/extreme). If it's not the Madonna/Whore thing, what do you think it would be? I feel like this is the same issue that (annoyingly) comes up all the time in discussions of RP. Someone puts a label to a phenomenon, and then all the discussion centers on the label rather than the phenomenon itself. The label/descriptor points to some 'truth' or 'realit…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:42 PM
1

You've never come across a woman who gives you no sexual vibe? Where they don't provoke any sexual response in you or create any sense of wanting to 'chase' them? I can think of many women who aren't physically repulsive, and they may even be very nice or 'good', but they don't generate any sexual interest in me. I tend to see them non-sexually.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:37 PM
3

I'd bang the madonnas and the whores I would say that you would definitely not freely bang 'madonnas.' Madonnas don't come across as sexual beings. Think the difference between the flirty or seductive 'cougar' and the asexual-appearing suburban mom. I hang around with moms a lot. Most of them fail to register as sexual for me, mostly because I don't think they allow themselves to be sexual. They have no sexual energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 06:47 PM
1

I would say that most RPers share your view here.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 06:43 PM
1

Is it? I see Madonna/Whore as a description of the dualistic mating behavior of humans. Yes Freud coined the term, but the obeservation had been around for a long time prior to him distinguishing it as such. I'm not convinced that Freud was dealing solely with binary 'personality types' there, as I don't think the vast majority of the population falls under one type to the exclusion of the other. While he may have been focused on the extremes, he can't have missed the significance of that. This …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 06:40 PM
1

I would say the former denotes 'asshole' more than the latter there. I don't think most people feel they might need pepper spray around an 'asshole.' A dangerous person, maybe, or (to a lesser extent) a creep, yes. Assholes aren't necessarily seen as threats, just antisocial people that annoy and confound you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 06:34 PM
3

Madonna/Whore as identified by Sigmund Freud posited that some men cannot find the Madonna desirable in any way, and they are exclusively attracted to the debased (the whore). "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love." Many have observed the conflicted relationship between that which inspires love and that which provokes lust. It is often observed (by decidedly non-RP experts) that those qualities that inspire feelings of love - comfort, security, familiari…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 06:32 PM
1

I would say that the concept of 'rude' is fairly flexible here, though. 'Rude' can be applied to, say, someone you don't think should be interested in you, for whatever reason, hitting on you (again, this is what I've heard over and over from women). I had to learn early on that I was going to have to risk looking like a rude 'asshole' if I was ever going to make a romantic/sexual connection happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 06:28 PM
1

Women complain all the time about guys being assholes for taking a too-direct or sexually aggressive approach, though (unless said guy is panty-soaking hot, of course). I know, because I've listened to countless rants on the subject from various women over the years. 'Can you believe the audacity...yadda yadda yadda...'
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 04:43 PM
1

Agreed. I might not think she was an asshole, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 04:38 PM
1

Remember that AF/BB isnt the ideal that women strive for, at least not quality women. Women strive for an alpha that commits to them, but may take a beta later on when her priorities shift and she needs the support. I think you are conflating the underlying drive with the behavior. Human beings have an innate dualistic mating drive. How they act on that innate drive can vary from individual to individual, but the drive remains the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 04:26 PM
3

To me there's a middle ground between Madonna/Whore, and that's the "lady in the street but a freak in the bed" (Thanks Usher) Why and how do you see those two concepts as distinct from each other? They seem one and the same to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 04:23 PM
3

Nope, a son. I'm curious - why do you think having a daughter would be relevant? For me, it's about how I see the mother of my child. Prior to us becoming parents, I mostly saw her as a Whore and myself as a Cad. When she got pregnant and after she gave birth, I was confronted with her being a Madonna and me needing to be a Dad. How I saw her, myself, and our sexualities got upended. I experienced a lot of internal conflict, shame, and guilt as a result, as the question of 'appropriate' sexualit…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 04:20 PM
1

You're right, they don't. I sometimes feel like people don't even read the TRP stuff before they opine about it. They way I see it they are all about having some mastery over self and not being a pushover. What they are probably reading is random postings from random dudes. I would agree that the original RP sources where about that, but plenty of posters on TRP diverge from that in all kinds of bizarre ways. If you don't have a solid understanding of RP separate from what you read on TRP, what …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 04:06 PM
3

I can absolutely recognize the Madonna/Whore conflict in myself. I wasn't as present to it, though, until I had a kid. Being a parent can really fuck with your self-concept as it relates to sexuality, and that seems to be even more true for women, I've observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 03:56 PM
9

Good luck with that, given that human beings relate to everything through categorization. The best most people can hope for is to acknowledge and be responsible for that aspect of their thinking. You might disagree that humans have a dualistic mating strategy that causes us to categorize in that specific way, but you can't get away from the categorizations themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 03:53 PM
1

I think that anything that leads with sex is considered rude, and the person leading would be considered an asshole. I think the vast majority of women, even those down for casual relationships, would see that as equivalent to him saying, 'Hi! I don't know you, but can I use you for your body for a little while?' Very few men can get away with that. I can think of maybe two guys I've known IRL, and even then, I'm not sure if they could pull that off
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 11:31 PM
2

you an STRATEGIZE your social circle so you've got a bunch of girls you have contact with who you are ready to swoop in on when they break-up Hahaha...yep. Though those windows are usually really short, and many of my female friends already have another guy lined up. I happen to have a lot of attractive female friends (or used to, at least). My single buddies (of which I had many) always wanted me to have them on speed dial for whenever I caught wind of a break up. Even if I found out in time, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 04:22 PM
2

I am telling you my yoga classes are almost exclusively young and slender women. Are they single, though? I (and my single guy friends even moreso) participate in all kinds of events and activities frequented by young, attractive women. I can't remember the last time I met a woman who didn't have a guy with her, didn't have a ring on her finger, or didn't talk about her boyfriend. When any of my young, attractive female friends finds herself single, she's usually only single for a month or so, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 04:16 PM
1

First, false choice is false. They can both be assholes. Secondly, there is a metric shitton of discussion around here about how annoying male attention is and how much women don't like being approached in general. And I'll be that most of those guys aren't going straight for the 'wanna fuck?' (either because they figure it makes them look like an asshole, or because they actually would feel like an asshole and want something a little less antisocial). I can't imagine the anger that would be dir…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 05:25 AM
1

And there are enough med students and doctors to go around? And I would like to meet a woman who doesn't like ambitious, clever hardworking men. I think those traits are universally attractive. Hell, even I like ambitious, clever, hardworking men. They often get respect from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 05:17 AM
1

I think a small percentage of the population actively engages in hookup culture At any given time? Or ever? So, in your observations, how long does the average couple spend in a relationship before they have sex? most are monogamous I would agree, except I would say that a very large percentage are serially monogamous, which means there is a lot of turnover and STRs and 'test runs' prior to actual LTRs. Which is functionally different from actual monogamy. most people wind up with people similar…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 05:13 AM
1

I wrote a close-enough response here: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5wkg5v/how_is_the_okc_study_that_proves_women_find_80_of/dech06z/
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 12:45 AM
2

As I said elsewhere: You can say with some certainty that a twenty-something with Looks/Money/Status who is mature, has his shit together, and exudes confidence and poise is more inherently attractive than a thirty-something with the same qualities, but the fact remains that many twenty-something guys haven't yet attained those qualities, and the relative few who have are going to be in really high demand. Many, many women like 'powerful' and 'worldly' (both are relative, ofc) men who are experi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 12:42 AM
1

Game is of primary importance. Guys with superior game can beat out better looking dudes who lack game. You know when women who are asked about why they hooked up with that guy who didn't seem to be in any obvious way a match for her and she replies, 'I don't know...there was just something about him!' That something is usually game. Or a huge cock that no one really knows about, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 11:10 PM
1

Whew! I guess myself and all the guys I know who dated/married women younger than us all dodged bullets! By the way, aren't a lot of those also indicators for divorce? Man, stay the fuck away from anyone who has been divorced, I guess. And maybe single moms really are scum? I love the disdain and contempt the supposedly anti-misogyny/non-judgemental crew have for women who aren't like them, lol. Rich stuff...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 10:12 PM
1

Sure, I suppose. I would want to hear the specifics, though. Blue pillers are constantly talking about how every guy they know is hooking up and getting laid with whomever they want like it ain't no thang. The fact that I've never seen nor heard of that sort of consistent success begs questions like, 'If that is true, why do men refer to getting laid as 'getting lucky', why do they brag about making a hook up happen, why do they lie about getting laid, and why does it seem to be men in general w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 06:58 PM
2

As others have said, I have seen first-hand how few men, in general, women are sexually aroused by (it's not hard to figure out, really). I've also seen first-hand how open women are to dating men older than they are. So while I find the studies interesting (and I'm not attached to some hard number like '20%'), I'm mostly relying on what I can personally attest to after decades of observing. I feel confident saying that the number of men that women are viscerally sexually aroused by is relativel…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 06:42 PM
1

Why do you insist on making this about women? I specifically said it has nothing to do with 'how women are'.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 06:36 PM
1

'Women's lib' is arguably a challenge for men looking to empower themselves, and any man looking to empower himself is going to have to understand the potentially disempowering effects of the feminist movement (something many women struggle with as well, incidentally). Beyond that, I don't pay much attention to the political ramblings of various posts on TRP (or in the manosphere). RP, at it's core, was an attempt to identify and describe sexual dynamics. Questions of politics are at best tangen…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 06:01 PM
1

Women can be however they want to be if the man is empowered, no? Him being empowered has nothing to do with anyone else - he's either empowered, or he's not. Full stop. Women don't have to do or be anything for a man to be empowered.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:37 PM
1

I think if you asked most women, "Would you consider a guy to be an asshole if he just walked up to you and said 'Hey! I want to fuck you - whaddya say?'", they would be unequivocally affirmative in their answer. I mean, most women see men as assholes for much lesser offenses than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:34 PM
1

For people who claim to be amoral it's really weird. RP is a model of human behavior, and as such it is amoral and needs to be approached as such. RPers (and TRPers in particular) are human, and humans tend to see things in moral terms. Especially idealists, who make up the vast majority of the TRP community. No one can be RP until they divorce themselves from idealism (and it's dark-side twin, cynicism) and the moralistic worldview that idealism/cynicism is built around. You have to align yours…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:30 PM
1

First of all, it's important to distinguish which specific motivations/behaviors 'AWALT' references. AWALT gets thrown around a lot, and not all of it's applications are of equal significance. Secondly, all women can be neurotic at times. Fifteen or twenty years ago, I would have sworn that my wife and many of my friends were NAWALTy unicorns. But then we all had to be super responsible with stressful careers, mortgages, and (most importantly) kids, and suddenly, all the unicorns started looking…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:18 PM
1

The ideal goal for red pill is for women to be women, and for men to be able to be empowered in their interactions and relationships with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:07 PM
1

Not to mention other OKTrends articles, like "The Case for an Older Woman", which shows that women in their 30s are better in ways that a lot of men like while being only marginally less physically attractive than women in their 20s. And this argument is supported by the droves of men ditching younger women for their older counterparts, I would suppose, right? I mean, if older women are clearly preferable, they are going to be the ones that most men will be lining up for, correct? And we're seei…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:01 PM
1

Same was true for me. You can say with some certainty that a twenty-something with Looks/Money/Status who is mature, has his shit together, and exudes confidence and poise is more inherently attractive than a thirty-something with the same qualities, but the fact remains that many twenty-something guys haven't yet attained those qualities, and the relative few who have are going to be in really high demand. As the years progress, guys who were lacking those qualities early on will have a lot mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 04:54 PM
1

Well, around these parts no one over nineteen can legally fuck 16 year-olds, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 03:23 PM
1

Well, it's a good thing that 'prefers' isn't the same as 'insists', then...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 03:01 PM
4

Since when are younger women considered the 'unwanted leftovers'? A younger woman is 'unwanted leftovers', but an older woman who is his own age is...what, exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 02:56 PM
1

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 02:54 PM
2

The difference is this - the 80/20 idea is more useful to most guys than knowing what age me women prefer to date. Why? Because the first idea can provide incentive for improvement, while the second is like height - even if it's true (it's not necessarily, but let's say it is), what is useful in knowing that 'truth'? You can't do anything about your age, but you can improve until you are in the top 20% (or whatever the percentage is of men whom women find sexually arousing) and benefit according…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:50 AM
3

The way the world works is that women can and do find men older than them attractive, and there are many more younger women in relationships with older men than the reverse. Does it work that way for every man? Of course not. How many men does it work for? No idea, though my anecdotal evidence would indicate that it is a statistically significant number. Would women prefer a man their own age with all of the same benefits found in dating an older man? Probably. The only relevant facts anyone nee…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 05:42 AM
2

I would agree. When I'm think of the lengths I'm willing to go, it's about the time/energy to get to 'first base', as it were. I have never gone on more than a couple of dates before having sex, so it's less about doing the traditional 'wait for sex' game, and more about what I'm willing to do to get that first date. The one which will quickly lead to sex, in my experience. If it doesn't, and there isn't a good reason, I'm likely to think that something is wrong and will probably stop putting fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 12:08 AM
1

Just off the top of my head... Quality? Satisfaction? Thrill? For me, there are myriad differences between a mediocre bang and a mind-blowing bang, and one of the differences is usually in how much effort I put in up front. That said, I will say that the law of diminishing returns is probably valid here. I know that if it takes too long or involves too much bullshit I will generally give up, but that's probably more because I'm not convinced that the object of affection is all that interested in…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/17 09:11 PM
1

That would be presuming all bangs are about the same, would it not?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/17 03:06 PM
2

As much as I find the binary system useful in a lot of cases, I gotta disagree. My 'would bang' bar includes a wide spectrum of women, starting at 'would bang if I was intoxicated, horny, and she did all the work' all the way up to 'willing to put in a ton of effort and might even play the long game in an attempt to bang, despite the fact that I know I have no shot and am just wasting my time', lol. The binary system doesn't provide much detail.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/17 05:07 AM
2

I've had a couple female friends who were wing(wo)men without compare. Way better than dudes...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 02:39 AM
1

Omega.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 11:29 PM
1

Easier than their hot single counterparts? In what world, lol? Single women are usually looking to hook up, so that makes them easier. Since married women generally aren't, you have to be able to convince them that they want to hookup. Your work is halfway done with single chicks...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 11:21 PM
0

Wut? First, what's 'easy' about that? Are you saying hot married women are easy? Secondly, the point isn't 'easy' or not, it's 'BB' or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 07:48 PM
0

Doubtful, since he didn't have a lot of money, and since one of his primary niche markets was married women. Hot married women. Women who were married to men wealthier than he was.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 06:22 PM
1

It's feminine, though, not just 'feminine looking', and 'male brains' does not preclude a feminine demeanor (unless she literally used to be male, lol). A masculine woman who looks feminine is no more attractive to men than a feminine man who looks masculine is to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 04:03 PM
1

I posted one up above.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 03:56 PM
1

Nope. He is right. One of the greatest players I've ever known was about 30 pounds overweight and had questionable fashion sense. But he led a cool technology startup and had a mesmerizing demeanor (almost like a guru or something) that allowed him to seduce almost any woman who caught his eye. It was depressing to see him out so little effort into his appearance yet routinely kick my ass in the world of women, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 03:55 PM
1

I have always found it to be the exact opposite. Physical appearance is a support to game. Unless you are an underwear model, you aren't getting laid without at least some game, regardless of your physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 03:49 PM
1

Condescension isn't the 'proper' paradigm for interacting with anyone. And your justification is insufficient; should you address your boss or CEO condescendingly to make it easier to talk with them? And where, exactly, did I say that I (or anyone) should interact with women in a condescending manner? That would be a stupid as addressing your boss or CEO condescendingly, despite the fact that you know that aren't the hot shit they want you to think they are, and that there is a good chance your …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 07:46 AM
1

Does she ever worry too much about your health? No, not really. She wants me to be a Real Mantm, so she wants me to be responsible for my own health and well-being. She feels no obligation in that area. That can be difficult at times, honestly, but that's why it's important to never think of your spouse as a mother. Or volunteer your services to help out friends? Definitely not sexually, lol. That would be awesome, in my world. Though none of our female friends need any help whatsoever in the se…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 05:00 PM
1

Her withholding sex is malice. Yeah, no, it's not always that. Just ask the women here on PPD - you are not entitled to her sex. Lack of sex stems from relationship problems. Or from lack of attraction, or from outside stress, or from...again, just ask the women here. I wouldn't be so reductionist in your views. You just want me to be obsessed over sex. No, I want you to justify your view that sex is no big deal, and as such, is neither a psychological 'necessity' nor a 'luxury'. Because, as you…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 04:53 PM
1

It sounds to me like you didn't go to many social events at university, would I be correct in assuming that? Actually, I did, but I wasn't necessarily part of the 'cool crowd' all the time. I was significantly younger than everyone else, and that put me at a social disadvantage, I think. And also that you were shy, hence having "make out sessions" without escalating it to sex? Shy and ambivalent/anxious about sex. The BP/feminist programming was strong in me, making me very self-conscious and a …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 04:46 PM
3

does any of that sound like chad to you? Nope, lol. But I'm definitely not a Chad, either, and I got lucky at least a few times over the years. I am curious how you made all that happen, tho'. I just could rarely drum up that kind of luck, especially when I was in college (uni). I didn't lose my virginity until I was out of college, and then, when I did lose it, it was on my birthday, I was hammered out of my mind, and some not-really-attractive mid-thirties woman dragged me home with her (after…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 01:55 AM
3

Really? I was skinny-fat, socially awkward/intimidated by girls, poor, didn't drink or do drugs, and I graduated with my virginity intact (had a couple close calls where I almost got laid my senior year but missed). Had a hard time finding dates, let alone ONS. And most of my friends were equally unsuccessful. So I definitely can't explain. OTOH, yay you, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 12:27 AM
15

Yes. I don't see many of my friends anymore now that I'm a parent, but one of my closest friends who still makes a concerted effort to see me at least occasionally (and it takes a concerted effort given my life) is a woman. Love her to death and she regularly contributes to my life in all kinds of ways. That said, female friendships can be more fickle than male friendships, I find. I have some female friends that tend to only get in touch when they aren't seeing someone, for example, or when the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 12:12 AM
2

TRP has plenty of non-traditional types. I'm one. So is most of my social circle/community. Yet the dynamics remain the same. If you actually read it Who has time for that when there is so much straw just laying around?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 09:05 PM
1

Those are some strong assertions. Can you back them up? you just listed all the hallmarks of abusive relationships Name one? how you create abusive relationships How is that? I'm sorry, but what you wrote here looks an awful lot like projection. When I was 'RP', I had fantastic relationships with women, both romantically and otherwise. When I was not, I didn't. Perhaps you can enlighten me as to how all of the women in my life were subjected to abusive behavior, and why they responded so favorab…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 08:57 PM
1

This distinction is so important for these discussions. Lotsa TRPers sound like whiny beta pussies (usually 'cause they are, and that's okay). That doesn't mean the goal of RP is to turn men into whiny bets pussies. It's like the anger thing. BPers often seem to think that RP makes men angry, when many of us know that the men were already angry, which is why they found RP.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 07:20 PM
1

I'm out of the mainstream, too, including spending years in alt-sex communities. Never really saw a woman request that her partner have sex with someone else. My wife was mostly cool with me having sex with other women. She could even share my excitement some. But she never actually encouraged it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 07:11 PM
1

Not that I can recall. Things were fairly light, though - I wasn't putting anyone through their paces, really, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 07:08 PM
6

What are you struggling with? I might be able to make some recommendations. PM me if you would rather not make it public. And having a therapist is pretty much always useful if you can afford it. They are like sex workers, only sub 'friendship' or 'emotional support' for sex, lol. You pay a therapist to avoid getting your problems and neuroisis all over friends or people in your community. Dump on a therapist and then you can appear more sane to everyone else, and you won't be tempted to dump on…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:37 PM
2

Best defense is a good offense - checks out. Gets my full endorsement. Defensiveness is never a good look on a man, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:29 PM
2

I can totally get that. I wouldn't do anything with anyone my brother has kissed. If I had a sister, I'm sure the same would apply, lol. Clearly, the two sisters were not fans, either (I mean, they saw that I was good-naturedly playing and didn't hate me or anything, but that was the last I did with either of them, lol, which is totally fair).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:27 PM
2

I once kissed two twins, though at different times in the same day. Definitely got the 'ewwww' reaction when I pointed it out to them, lol. That was fun. I like messing with people...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:25 PM
7

Great analysis. I always take these kinds of questions/'shit tests' to be 'where's you're head at?'-type questions, which is why I love trying to come up with a witty response that knocks the ball back into their court. A 'you're going to have to get up earlier in the morning if you want to see me get tripped up' sort of response. I take it as all in good fun - I'm not one of those who gets all butthurt 'cause 'shit tests.' "I feel bloated, this outfit is loose fitting because I don't feel so ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:22 PM
1

What is the definition of 'dead bedroom' that you're using here? A dead bedroom is a sexless marriage (defined by marriage therapists as 'sex once a month or less'). You gave two reasons for dead bedrooms, but there are dozens of others. Often times, you'll hear reports of 'we have a great marriage except for the sex.' In my own case, my wife would swear up and down how much she loved me, she just didn't feel like having sex (at least, with me - who knows otherwise). But let's look at your descr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 04:54 PM
1

what's with all the condescending language toward women It can be argued that using that language creates the proper paradigm for interacting, especially for men who are used to being shocked and awed by women. the need for manipulation and abuse? What need for manipulation and abuse (depending on your definition of manipulation, of course - there are many debates regarding what is and what is not manipulation)? Presuming you are using 'manipulation' interchangeably with 'being maliciously decei…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 04:06 PM
1

Brand-loyalty is meaningless when it comes to things like that. Um, not really, no. Loyalty is loyalty. You could be a die hard fan of Aquafina but still get a hankering for some Perrier now and then. Or a Coke. Whatever. Right. There is an age-old adage that is perfect for this particular situation - 'You can look at the menu all you want as long as you eat at home.'
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 04:27 AM
1

:smh: You have feminist in your name. You should absolutely know what benevolent sexism is, since it's fundamental to the feminist view of sexism. Quick google search should do the trick.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 02:55 AM
1

No one has ever said that RP is somehow something brand new, and usually RPers say the opposite. And as much as those are normal life skills, they are sometimes hard to learn and practice. Even for those with good social skills, but particularly for those guys who were never taught or worse, were taught counterproductive skills. And very few places help guys who need to learn how to acquire and apply those skills specifically needed in the sex/love/relationships realm. The manosphere being one o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 02:53 AM
2

Some women, sometimes, might go out actively looking for sex. She still has to choose who she is going to have sex with, does she not? Sometimes a woman might get seduced by a man. Even if she wants to get laid, she still generally wants to be seduced st least somewhat. Most women aren't so desperate for sex that they make no demands on potential partners. Even women who just want to get laid. Either way, I think seduction from both sides always plays a role. Now you are over complicating it. Of…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 01:06 AM
1

I would venture to say that 99.9% of all casual sexual encounters result not from a man just being uniquely attractive but from him successfully engaging in seduction Behavior. While I would love to flatter myself and say it is because I'm uniquely attractive, I know that I'm not (at all), so it has to be my ability to seduce (such as it is) that makes the sexy times happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 12:37 AM
1

Your partners would ask you to have sex with other people? You have had some strange partners...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 12:33 AM
1

Everything I wrote as examples are directly from the RP playbook. Like, directly. The idea that RP doesn't advocate those things is laughable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 11:14 PM
1

Oh, I agree - my wife and I worked together before dating, so... Though she pursued me mostly, and I just escalated:
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 11:12 PM
2

Why can't they just be assholes? Why do we have to create an additional category for them, except to create a sense of 'otherness' and reinforce the idea systemic victimhood and oppression? I don't see any systemic oppression or victimization when I see someone strong bullying or trying to gain power over someone weaker. It's simply something I won't tolerate - I don't need it connected to something bigger in order to justify my lack of tolerance. If a woman sexually harasses another woman, is s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 09:50 PM
1

Not sex - health. Serial killers and suicidals are clearly not healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 09:46 PM
1

Tells me that women want a challenge, or want what they can't have? Would she feel the same way if she found out he wasn't gay? There are loads of guys who have been all of those things with women, and those women aren't googling 'I'm in love with the guy in my friendzone' hoping to hook up with them. I will point out the relevant qualities, from my perspective: -gay men DGAF when it comes to women. They don't respect women just because they are women and they are 'supposed to.' -gay men don't d…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 08:23 PM
1

You can also treat women as 'equals' or in a 'non-discriminatory' fashion and still be an asshole. Men aren't sexist towards each other. They still harass and bully and extort and otherwise make miserable other men. You don't have to be sexist in order to be an asshole and to engage in those activities. Likewise, even feminist women can and will be awful to men. Does that make them technically 'sexist'?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 07:47 PM
3

Not as far as I can tell. You can be feminist/non-sexist and be a sexual harasser, just like you can be a feminist/non-sexist and be sexually aggressive. And you can be sexist, be relatively sexually non-aggressive, and not be a harasser. As I am. I have too much self-respect to want to bother trying to get laid through harassment and bullying.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 06:54 PM
2

Would agree with your assessment. The question would maybe be of brand-loyalty then, rather than access to an indefinite amount of the same bottles of water. Though I will say, after having no bottles of water for several years, I'm surprisingly less attached to those few brands that I was loyal to before. I have found myself pondering bottles of water that I never would have considered prior.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 06:49 PM
2

Good post. I've always been 'thirsty' (lusty), even when I was in a happy relationship and would never have dreamed of cheating (even if I could have, though it usually wasn't an option). Recent technological developments have had exactly zero impact on my 'sexual awareness.' As long as there were hot women around in some form or function, that was all my 'sexual awareness' needed in order to want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 06:44 PM
4

Technically, I think it qualifies as lust.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 06:39 PM
2

And yes, I know some people will swear that if their balls are drained men have no desire to cheat, and while that may be true for SOME, it really doesn’t jibe with even what TRP says about male sexuality That's not a question of male sexuality, it's a question of cost/benefit analysis. Having a one's balls drained does not remove the desire to cheat sleep with whatever attractive women might happen to be around/available, it just makes running a cost/benefit analysis that favors monogamy more l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 06:36 PM
1

That is sexual harasssment, though, not sexism, is it not? I fully admit to being sexist (mostly of the benevolent strain, as that seems to delight women so why not). I have never sexually harassed a woman, especially in the workplace. There is a big difference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 05:45 PM
2

Definitely suits you. I'm a little jelly...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 05:24 PM
1

Is that the only criteria for success? Not becoming a serial killer and avoiding suicide?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 03:37 PM
1

Dead bedroom = I would push for divorce and/or make her life as miserable as possible so she'd want one. BTW, the irony of this assessment is too rich to pass up. Sex is no big deal, and there is much more to life than sex, but if my wife ever stops giving me sex then I will divorce her or make her as miserable as possible. I will destroy my marriage because of sex, but still, sex is no big deal and there are lots more important things. :smh: So I would say that either sex is a pretty big deal f…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 08:24 AM
1

Well done.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 08:15 AM
1

No, its easy for men to control our sex drive. Of course it's easy for men to control our sex drive. We can control all kinds of aspects of our nature. That's not at all the question. The question is not one of lack of control, but lack of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 08:14 AM
1

Why are you interested in asking me these questions, by the way? You made a few bold assertions. I have been trying to ascertain if your assertions were actually based on experience and wisdom, of if they were more based on a lack of experience (and empathy) and the self-righteous desire to signal virtue/shit on those less successful. I'm pretty clear now that they are probably more the latter than the former. It's like the guy who goes on and on about how having money isn't that big of a deal, …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 08:09 AM
6

And your nice/kind means friendly and having basic decency. What do you think women mean when they say they just want a 'nice' and/or 'kind' man? Using your definition, that shouldn't be hard to find at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 03:20 AM
1

How unique do I think I am?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 03:15 AM
3

I presume you mean 'until you get into a relationship', right? I'm pretty sure women liked to be treated as 'special', particularly in a relationship. If I do for them what I do in general, they wouldn't get much. Especially if my idea of being nice is to volunteer at hospitals and to read to the elderly. When women say they want 'nice' guys, they mean nice to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:28 AM
1

It is not a necessity to me not because I "can get it anytime I want", but because I just don't need it. It might be hard to suss those two aspects apart. The most sexually 'desperate' women I've experienced tend to be those who can't get sex easily, like middle-aged 'cougars' who get to the point where they will fuck almost anyone who agrees to fuck them. I've never once met a young(ish), halfway attractive woman who felt she 'needed' to have sex. But I've met a lot of older, not particularly a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:24 AM
2

Many women seem to have the "I'm not a woman!" crisis if they find out they're barren or if they have extreme difficulty conceiving. Very good point. Many mothers I know say that becoming a mother fulfilled them as a woman. And when my wife wanted to have children, and I didn't (yet), and we were putting the whole 'conceiving' thing off, it got to the point that she felt like I was just using her as a sex toy, and that if I really desired her as a woman I would want to get her pregnant. She took…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:19 AM
5

You must be so frustrated all the time by all those people who aren't doing what they should be doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:13 AM
3

most effective advice comes from social interactions and experience Technically, that's not advice. You would be learning from experience, not from the advice of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:00 AM
11

Most people are described just nice and kind don't really do shit except be friendly and have minimum amount of basic decency. Do you really think that men who think that being nice and kind will earn them the affections of a woman are thinking that all they have to do is be friendly and have a minimum amount of basic decency? Really? How many self proclaimed or even described as friends as nice guys are volunteering at hospitals and food banks? How many are picking up trash in their community o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:58 AM
4

Well, 'bucks' has never literally been all about the benjamins. And I'm not sure that they are getting rid of the 'bucks' part of BB, either, given a shrinking middle-class, dramatically increasing costs of living (like housing and tuition, for example), the need for two incomes in all but the most well-off families (or in families that live in cheap rural areas), and the fact that the last recession hit men way harder than it hit women. A man being unemployed or underemployed, as well as financ…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:48 AM
1

I'm saying my effort would arguably get me the attention of women with some regularity So you just lay back and let women come to you? And that works pretty well? Must be nice. It's never really worked like that for me. Or, to be more specific, I rarely 'got' a quality woman that way. Women would approach me, but they usually weren't my type. Sounds like you are doing better than most guys. Yeah, so I'd lose arguably less than 1/3 of my social circles? Man, if 2/3rds of your social life is your …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:43 AM
6

I'm not fantasizing about anything, I just wonder what rulebook everyone is following that lays out how other people should and shouldn't behave and what they should be promoting. I don't know that I got a copy of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:29 AM
1

I'm a little confused. You are describing the experience of a woman. Is that a woman in a 'soft male led' relationship, or something else? What characterizes a 'soft' male leader, and what are you comparing him to?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:28 AM
8

I don't know, why 'shouldn't' it be? I'm not the one trafficking in 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' here, so I don't know why you are asking me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:09 AM
1

Sounds like active PUA/TRP baloney. I don't live/follow this mentality. You just said that 'if you are in quality social circles'... You think that most people fall ass backwards into quality social circles? Don't you have to make those happen as well? What is this obsession with the idea that life requires no intentionality, that everything will happen naturally with no effort on your part just because you are you, and if you have to put effort in to get something you are a sleazy PUA? I have n…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:08 AM
1

even if the "soft" male leadership relation is also still very common. How do you characterize this, and what is this being contrasted with?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 12:00 AM
3

Well, I'm fairly practiced at it, but there are still parts of it that I don't want to look at too closely. Sex and love are some of those things I don't want to look at too closely. I get depressed...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 11:08 PM
1

I understand that Otterbod is the ideal. That's why I used 'otterbod' to represent the ideal and not 'dad bod', because I can almost guarantee that otterbod is the preference over dad bod for 95% of women, regardless of what the special snowflakes want to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 11:07 PM
19

Being 'nice' and 'kind' goes beyond 'basic decency', I would think, otherwise most people who aren't abrasive assholes are considered nice and kind (and they aren't).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 11:05 PM
5

I think that's what I said?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 11:04 PM
3

Well, it's not so much avoiding seeing oneself as an animal as it is the implications of seeing oneself as an animal. It brings up some very not entirely pleasant ideas that can create some serious cognitive dissonance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 10:06 PM
3

Don't like, or don't see the point of. Either way, it's a confronting conversation to have with one's self. Hell, I don't like it, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 09:41 PM
16

Shhhh...don't give away the big reveal! ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 09:33 PM
1

Not at all according to the USA. No shit. Don't get me started. This isn't even an ideological question - the burden on productivity and society as a whole from having a bunch of unhealthy people running amok is a serious one. I believe the self-interest instinct is always there, it just becomes skewed in some people, usually in extreme outliners like the examples given above. I would agree with that, for sure. Having had sex enough that you feel validated and confident is something important to…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 09:13 PM
4

many women are even aware of the extent to which they employ these strategies Most people are quite ambivalent about sex, and as such aren't at all aware of what is really going on when it comes to their sexuality and mating drives. This can be due to a whole host of factors, up to and including a fear of seeing themselves as animals and the reminder of mortality that such views bring.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 09:09 PM
9

Feminism has actually been dismantling the beta bucks paradigm. They are doing a shit job of it, then. Last I checked, women still really want men to be 'beta' for relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 08:54 PM
20

niceness and kindness should be promoted Interesting. Why 'should' niceness and kindness be promoted?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 08:52 PM
1

The fact that you use the terms 'jerk' and 'good man' as distinguishers makes your argument next to useless. What makes a man 'good', in a woman's eyes, and what makes him a 'jerk'? And just as an FYI, low value men (which I'm guessing would include 'jerks') can't sustain 'dread game', if they can even run it at all. 'Dread game' is only legitimate if the man is high value. A low value man who, for example, threatens to leave either won't be taken seriously, or will have his bluff called (the re…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 08:46 PM
1

I don't disagree honestly. Which goes to the question of necessities. At what point can health be considered a necessity, and at what point is it a luxury (or even just a 'meh')? Seems like sex* can be included in there somewhere. But my point is we can and do act against our evolutionary instincts daily. We do. And it can cost us as well, up to and including our individual survival/self-interest (being driven to suicide or anorexia, for example). *By 'sex' here I'm thinking more 'sexuality' or …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 08:40 PM
1

I didn't claim it was common, I was just using it as an example of a choice people do make. Fair enough. People can and do make choices like that. I just took a position years ago to never make bets against human nature. Not because humans are somehow weak or deficient, but because human nature is that strong. Now we sit in offices all day and have our food sent to our doors without even having to barely get up. Yeah, but I would argue that this lifestyle can and does take a toll on human beings…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 07:54 PM
1

You may be easier to please than some, but I wouldn't say you are some kind of outlier, from what I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 07:51 PM
3

I wouldn't call it 'all human intimacy.' But I would call it the highest/deepest expression of intimacy for most men. I very much enjoy the profound intimacy I have with my son. I also have enjoyed some very intimate moments with friends. But none of those kinds of examples are equivalent to the intimacy I experience in a sexual relationship, and none of those are sufficient for my having a feeling of being fulfilled as an intimate being. There is just something different about sex/a sexual rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:57 PM
2

You are not far off, I think. And I think most sexologists would agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:38 PM
1

The irony is the bigotry inherent in the accusation, lol. Everyone is bigoted to some extent. It's part of being human. I just try to own it when I am, rather than trying to deny the obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:32 PM
1

Hahahaha...word.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:27 PM
1

I had abs once. Only one person thought they made me douchey. She was projecting because she felt she had to compete for my attention at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:25 PM
1

Yes, but how many women are being forced to choose between 'dad bod' and 'roided out meathead.' Roided out meatheads are a vanishingly small percentage of the overall population anyway. You can state your dislike for one without specifically stating a preference for the other. This is how men become confused and angry. 'But I thought she/women preferred dad bods? Why is she blowing me off for Mr. Otterbod dude? What is going on?'
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:24 PM
2

Doesn't sound like you had much choice in the matter. Being disempowered is the opposite of being 'all good' or healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:19 PM
1

Would that fulfill your 'need'/desire for intimacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:18 PM
1

Or not douchebags with abs. It's the abs, not the douchiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:13 PM
1

What you are saying about dad bods, then, is not an expression of a preference (as the post I was responding to asserted), nor is it a confirmation that dad bods make women hot. I stand by my skepticism that any relevant number of women prefer dad bods or are turned on by them (which is different than saying that women can be turned on by men with dad bods, a statement that I would agree with).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:12 PM
2

I never downvote, so it wasn't me. And being resigned is not the same as 'being good.'
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:12 PM
1

Study the history for proof. I don't have a handy pocket guide to the historical record of the church...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:10 PM
1

Throughout the history of the church, priests have never been as celibate as they were supposed to be. I mean, in the middle ages, priests were 'celibate' in name only.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:08 PM
1

Yeah, again, that's a psychological problem, not something 'normal.'
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:07 PM
1

I've gotten wet for some dad bods. Because of their dad bods, or despite them?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:06 PM
2

The dad bod was a popular trend for a while at least, it is still popular with a lot of women Never seen it. Ever. The only time I've seen 'dad bods' praised is when the women those dads are married to are expressing their attraction or gratitude for their man (I'll be generous here - the other interpretation is 'hamstering'), or when women want to signal their virtue in a general way. I don't know that I've ever seen a woman get turned on more by a dad bod than, say, an otter bod, all else bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:05 PM
1

even having sex despite an absence of attraction. Okay, now what the hell does that look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:49 PM
2

It's the casual bigotry that does it. My bigotry is never casual. You may not vote for republicans, but you definitely align with them politically more than anything on the left. Please, tell me more about my political views and alignments. This is fascinating.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:48 PM
2

Really? And how would you have ascertained that?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:36 PM
3

The relevant part giving priotity to the group rather than the individual. I don't prioritize 'the majority' of TRP, whoever they are and whatever they believe in.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:34 PM
1

I have neither seen nor heard of one IRL, ever. I suppose they might exist, as it's not an impossibility. Just seems improbable.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:33 PM
1

Where are all these women who get hot for dad bods? I have a dad bod. I'm not seeing any women trying to form a line.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:27 PM
3

And I would care why? I'm not a collectivist.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:24 PM
4

I am RP. I am not a right-winger.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:21 PM
1

It's debatable if asexuality is even a real physiological condition. Ask a sex therapist. Most asexuality is probably better described as sexual anorexia, which is not considered healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:19 PM
1

We're taking specifically about romance, not love in general. Romance is a particular kind of love. I have love with my best friends. We don't have romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:14 PM
1

Bringing up the church as a model of celibacy is a really bad argument. That hasn't worked out so well (and never has).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:11 PM
2

Yes, but the vast majority of women (like, 9 out of 10) will have kids in their lifetime. Very, very few women choose to remain childless their whole lives. If humans were so good at short-circuiting their 'natural urges', we wouldn't have an obesity epidemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:07 PM
2

That doesn't exactly work out for most people, though. Just look at the church's 'experiment' with celibate priests, or the 'success' of abstinence-only sex education.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:04 PM
5

Sex also isn't the only form of intimacy so it's not like someone who isn't having sex is experiencing zero intimacy in their life. Sex is a primary component of a male intimacy, and it's not for women. And that's not some RP-exclusive view - it's fairly widely accepted. Women can get their need for intimacy met by drinking a glass of wine and curling up on a couch with someone to read a book or watch a movie or whatever (to hear women tell it). It doesn't work like that for men, otherwise 'beta…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:00 PM
1

Could be. If I got divorced tomorrow, I don't know that I would feel any better about my sex life being over.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:12 PM
1

Includes drive time, shopping, unloading the car, putting everything away, and breaking down boxes, etc. The shopping itself took about 1.5 hours. I had a kid with me, of course, so that always slows things down, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:00 PM
2

WTF is that, lol. Holy shit...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 02:58 PM
3

Sounds like you are describing many omegas/incels. Not sure it's gendered.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 02:56 PM
2

I wouldn't call that 'being good.'
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 02:55 PM
1

Platonic denotes no romance, does it not?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 02:52 PM
2

It is OTC in the UK where I live. £3.50 a bottle at my local pharmacy. I had no idea that codeine cough syrup was OTC there (shoulda brought some home when I was over there). I'd kill for that. Not because I wanna get stoned, but because that shit is the only thing that allows me to get sleep when I have a cold, it's a huge pain in the ass to get from my doctor, and I usually run out in the middle of the night right when I need it most.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:39 AM
2

What if opportunities where not presented to you? What if you had to go out and make them happen somehow? Or if you couldn't go out and make them happen (as happens to people in, say, a deadbedroom, or a single parent with no money or time), how much would that impact you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:34 AM
2

They acknowledge differences, as long as those differences aren't potentially unflattering.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:29 AM
2

Well, I don't know if coping leads to getting out - I feel pretty static, and have for a while - but it certainly keeps me from spiraling down. Which, incidentally, is all that the pharmaceuticals accomplished, too. I gave them up once I figured I could limit the downward spirals myself. The more I've studied depression as a condition, the more I have come to see myself as actually a pretty hardassed motherfucker. I'm doing way better than I should be given my circumstances, which are pretty muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:27 AM
2

Define obsess - what makes for 'obsession'? Clearly you probably wouldn't avoid it if an opportunity was presented to you (almost no guy would), but if an opportunity never presented itself? Does that mean you wouldn't make it a priority or make an effort to find opportunities?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 06:16 AM
1

In what world is Jennifer Lawrence considered 'average'?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:05 AM
3

Or below average women have given up and just WGTOW, a choice that many women seem to be able to make much more easily than men. That's the beauty of having a reactive sex drive - you don't miss it if you don't have anything arousing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 05:01 AM
1

Sounds like you had depression, as you had 'weird' thought patterns, started isolating, and becoming emotionally desperate (probably in an effort to stop the pain). After a dry spell of about that much time, I started developing depression, which only served to reinforce my depression. It got to the point that I had spiraled down into a major depressive disorder. I finally pulled out of the worst of it a couple years ago, but I'm still living in a pretty depressed state most of the time. I've ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:57 AM
2

if they could never have sex or romance Does romance even come without sex? I mean, I can't imagine romance happening for any extended period of time without it leading to something sexual. I have no paradigm for that. if they could never have sex or romance, it would be harder but most would manage, after a period of grief. I don't know. I've been going for about five years with almost no sex or romance, and it literally made me crazy within the first year or so. I'm only now starting to get us…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:52 AM
3

So if the sexy times stopped for you in life, you'd feel like you have had enough and would be indifferent to the idea of having no sexual relationships in your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:42 AM
3

This has been my experience anyway. For you personally? Or are you seeing other guys who are living their lives fine after having gotten laid a few times but aren't getting laid anymore? Just curious. I know of only a couple of guys who are going without for long periods of time. While they are not totally fucked up, they aren't exactly healthy, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 04:38 AM
3

Before birth control everything in my body was telling me "MAKE A BABY RIGHT NOW" Yep, my wife had that bad, especially on those special two or three days a month, lol. She had to take BC to not only prevent an unwanted pregnancy before we were ready to have kids, but to get her body to shut up and stop torturing her about it. or at least quiet it down enough to ignore. This was possible for my wife until everyone in her socisl circle started having kids. Then the idea of kids was in her face al…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:37 AM
1

If you know you've been able to get laid before you have the confidence to not worry about it in the future. Hmmm. I'm not following this line of thought. I been laid like tile before. I have had sex only once in a blue moon for the past several years. This last dry spell has lasted for about eight months. I'm pretty damned certain I'll never have (at least passionate) sex again. At this point, I can't even imagine a woman wanting to be passionate with me. Women just don't relate to me like that…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:25 AM
2

It's as biological as the drive to have sex. Supposed to or not can exacerbate that, but that's not where it comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 01:04 AM
2

I remember years ago reading a study that documented how often men thought about sex/were present to their desire for sex. It was essentially 'all the time', lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 01:03 AM
2

Thinking on this more - I think the biggest test (based on what I've both experienced and observed a lot) for most marriages is when the marriage and the marital relationship stops being everyone's first priority in life, when one of both partners either choose or are forced to become mostly independent from their spouse. When a couple is relatively new, and when their lives aren't yet burdened by the feeling of lots of external responsibilities/priorities, it's easy to have the perfect marriage…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 11:05 PM
1

Maybe. While behaviors and actions alone are unlikely to make any random dude into a full-on player (hell, even at my best I was not a particularly prolific player), I can say that, properly developed, they can give almost any guy at least a minimally satisfactory sex life over which he can have control. Some of the most astounding players I've ever known weren't particularly gifted when it came to genetics (and some were, of course). They were kinda average looking guys who could work fucking m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 10:18 PM
1

You exchanged Facebooks instead of phone numbers, that was the normal thing. Yep. I was of course out of college for over a decade when Facebook came around, but that was certainly how everyone used it in my social circles. Phone numbers were only for the closest inner circle, or for supporting specific plans or projects. That's why I have way more FB friends than I do phone numbers. I usually only used FB to post interesting or significant events/happenings or to share quick fun observations/di…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 10:09 PM
1

Well, I personally feel like I've both been that guy and not been that guy at different times in life, so I think you can learn (grow and develop, really) to be that guy. Just like success in any other area of life. Maybe the biggest thing is the desire to become that guy, to make being successful in that area a priority. I always had that desire. I'm not certain that all men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 08:43 PM
3

So it's essentially about what you want. Of course? But there are women who prioritize things like what I mentioned above over that. Most women want hot sex as much as anyone, and will often shift priorities as needed to get it. If she isn't shifting priorities to get it from me, or at least struggling mightily to not do so, it doesn't bode well. Either she will shift priorities for a guy sexier than I, or either she or I (or both of us) will get sexually frustrated at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 07:06 PM
1

Would you consider yourself social or involved in many communities? I stopped using social media about five years ago (around the same time I stopped being social and stopped being involved in the various communities I had been involved with), but IIRC, I have around six hundred friends on Facebook, 95+% of whom I've had multiple conversations with in life. Real life, not online or something. But I'm old, too, and have been around a while...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 06:58 PM
1

Yeah, I've been there, I get it. All I can say is that it is different when that child is yours. I mean, you'll still feel like going into a full-on rage at times, but it matters less, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 06:46 PM
2

I would understand, of course. I wouldn't necessarily tolerate it (depending on what 'carried away' actually involves), but I would understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 05:53 PM
1

I should add that, all that said and despite how deeply ambivalent I was about having kids (especially as I got older - I was more indifferent when I wasn't facing the choice in immediate terms), there is nothing like having a child, and even though it was(is) so miserable in so many ways, even being a SAHD was an incredible experience. Knowing then what I know now, and while I would certainly have tried to do some things differently and recalibrated my expectations sooner, I would do it all aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 05:51 PM
2

Sex is everyone's core priority. Seriously. Just like self-preservation and forming social units. Humans are driven to have the best sex they can have.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 05:08 PM
1

See my edit, too, lol. I forgot that stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 05:04 PM
1

Become a SAHD. Just don't think you'll enjoy any free time... EDIT: Or any respect, or any sex, or a harmonious relationship, or...sigh...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 04:58 PM
2

I had the perfect relationship for about four years (year one of five had some very rocky spots) followed by tha perfect marriage for about 10 years. And I mean perfect - we were considered 'role models' by everyone in our community (which was very large at the time) to the point that people would toast us as their inspiration at their weddings and encourage us to write a book about relationships. And then all of that just crumbled... :smh: I should add, 10 years for me, possibly fewer for my wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 04:56 PM
1

I would say that you read it wrong, but whatevs - that was my intended argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 08:36 AM
1

So much this. This is the whole point for advocating C/FM, as far as I'm concerned. It's not that it's somehow in accordance with some divine law or something, but it does seem to be what most women expect and what will cause eventual dismay should it be lacking, even if they deny it in order to maintain their 'strong independent' self-image. Especially once those women start becoming mothers and getting anxious af about the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 08:31 AM
2

Not who you asked, but you have to at least have made it past the 'seven-year itch.' 10+ years or have had kids for at least a couple years for me to take you really seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 08:24 AM
2

All ya'll are still in the honeymoon phase from my point of view, lol. I'd honestly be concerned if you were experiencing any significant difficulties in your salad days...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 08:22 AM
5

Actually, it changes, but it doesn't change all that much. At least, not if you are an active and involved parent and if you are responsible for everything domestic. Kids are in school for about 6.5 hours a day. That is the time you have to coordinate all the needs of the family (and kids seem to require constant coordination), do all the shopping (something that gets way more complicated once you have kids), all the cleaning (something that needs to be done all the time when you have kids), mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 08:12 AM
5

I understand that entirely. The problem is, since I really like fucking, I want someone who prioritizes me for my fuckability. Generally speaking, women who find me highly fuckable also tend to accept my flaws, so it's not much of a problem if they prioritize my fuckability.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 06:23 AM
1

You think in a position of power automatically means one will be respected. No, I don't. There is nothing about a position of power that magically confers respect to the individual, even if the position itself is respected. Are you getting that there is a difference between being respected and being treated with respect? I treat homeless people with respect. I do not respect homeless people. In fact, I treat most people with respect, but there have only been maybe a handful of people in my perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 05:24 AM
1

I think we are agreeing, except it seems that you are equating 'treats with respect' and 'respects.' I'm saying those are two entirely different behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 04:38 AM
2

Strange. I specifically said that I don't have NPD. Like, specifically. With lots of both amateur and professional confirmations to back up my claim. And all children have antisocial behavior traits. They are quite literally narcissists. It's a function of their underdeveloped brains, psyches, and identities. They have very little, if any, real empathy, for example. They don't have an indentity that they can distinguish from that of their parent until they are three or four, IIRC - they literall…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 04:35 AM
1

In the very sentence I quoted you? I said that a position of authority/power will get you treated with respect. As in, that is the closest to respect that you can expect to get out of a position of authority. You can treat someone with respect without actually respecting them. Usually in the case of positions of authority, the deference is to the position, not the individual in the position. Unless the individual in the position is someone who commands and inspires respect for themselves as an i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 02:55 AM
1

I don't agree that most women who are ''dominant'' are exercising ''soft-power'' in the traditional sense of non-violent power, generally speaking. Most of the actual dominant women I know are not violent, and most of the 'violent' women I know are not dominant (they are domineering, controlling, etc, but that's not dominant). But I don't think their power is achieved through ''being nice''. No one's power is achieved through being nice. I know a lot of really nice women. They are very popular b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 06:58 PM
1

So here's the problem I'm starting to have with all these discussions about 'what is alpha?' and 'what is beta?' and who is who and which one is which and all these other abstractions - it's going way off into the weeds when it comes to self-improvement and sexual strategy. Not that it's not interesting to some people, I'm sure, but it seems like an academic exercise that has little relevancy to what RP is all about. What I, and I'm guessing many other guys around here, needed to learn (or still…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 05:34 PM
1

Just because your in a position of power doesn't mean people will respect you. Where did I say they would? More so being dominant does not mean you get respect either. Yes, it does. That's the very definition of being 'dominant.'
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 05:19 PM
1

Those too - depends on whether the business is big enough to require investors, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 05:16 PM
1

I don't know - there seems to be a cult of personality around him as well, which would indicate authoritarian inclinations, to my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 05:15 PM
1

Aren't they generally big champions of Trump?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 07:56 AM
1

There is no 'have to respect.' That's like saying, 'have to be attracted.' That's just not how respect works. Actual respect can only be commanded and inspired - it is either there, or it isn't. What you are talking about is treating someone respectfully or with respect. You can do that regardless of whether you actually respect that someone. There are always several homeless people around my neighborhood. I always take care to treat them with respect. Do I actually feel respect for them? No, I …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 06:53 AM
1

What about the women who are turned on by social winners? So everyone who has a position of authority is a social winner? Exactly how far down the social ladder are you right now? His position speaks for itself, you people are delusional. Found the authoritarian, lol. Clearly you've never worked with idiots who happen to be in positions of authority. The phenomenon is so common, they have a business principle to describe it (hint: it's Peter). Being in a position of authority makes you an author…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 06:43 AM
1

Well, my son isn't an actual psychopath, either. Logically because 'psychopathy' is more a term of art than an actual diagnosable condition (IIRC, psychopathy is a popular term for the more clinical diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder, which encompasses a range of behaviors), but more importantly, because I know he feels deeply about things and is a loving kid. So neither of them pose much threat, to my eyes. On top of that, all the antisocial behaviors exist on a spectrum - we are all …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 04:30 AM
1

While what you are saying is often true, of course, it goes beyond that, IMO. No one really questions it because the traditional gender role for men is still firmly codified in the collective psyche (understandably so, since I'm of the opinion that 'traditional gender roles' have their roots in biology as much as in social constructs). Women pressuring men to 'man up' (so to speak) is seen as beneficial, not just to them, but to society as a whole. They aren't being unreasonable or bitchy - they…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/17 02:22 AM
2

Many TRPers appear to be authoritarians, as far as I can tell. It makes sense then that they conflate being in authority with being dominant. Being in a position of authority will get you treated with respect. Being dominant will get you actual respect. For men who want to get well laid, it's important to distinguish between those two phenomena, as the former gets you duty sex while the latter gets you passionate hot monkey sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 11:26 PM
1

Most everyone, including entrepreneurs, have a boss. I can only think of a handful of possible exceptions. The boss of the entrepreneur is the customer/client.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 11:21 PM
2

TIL I would be an alpha according to Atlas. At least when it comes to being dominant (or deferred to). Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 11:19 PM
1

Still curious to hear what you meant, incidentally. I can't tell if you are describing a very outlier type dynamic, or if you are just describing a more normal dynamic in dramatic terms. I'm kinda suspecting the latter, but if it's the former, I am always interested to hear descriptions of deviations from norms...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 09:57 PM
1

You women and your feels, lol ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 08:07 PM
1

Yeah, but as I said, the one's who would be interested in talking to me are going to be put off by the fact that I seem to be a good family man (except for the serious crazies, but they are obvious and I have a deep aversion to them). That shit is too real for most women, and they have plenty of other options that are less complicated and potentially messy. I do better when I'm without my kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 08:05 PM
1

So he has a whole little blog mini-series thing here and here that I find very entertaining and thoughtful, so I recommend reading the whole thing (about a ten minute read, probably). If you don't feel like playing the game and just want a quick spoiler, you can read this. If you haven't read his blog, you'll probably also appreciate his writings on Trump.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:40 PM
1

Nurturing is a feminine trait. Caring as a whole is gender neutral. Men care a whole awful lot for their families, clans, tribes, countries, whatever, and they are expected to do so in order to be seen as 'masculine.'
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:29 PM
1

I don't know that amorality means being indifferent to morality. I think saying that something is amoral means that it exists outside of created moral structures. Reality, the universe, existence, whatever - those things are all amoral. They are not subject to nor influenced by human ideas of morality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:27 PM
1

Have you read Scott Adams' take on that phrase?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:24 PM
1

I don't think wielding soft-power is dominant Why not? Amongst women, I think soft-power is what elevates a woman above her peers. And I don't think 'soft-power' precludes ever being confrontational (especially to other women), and being 'nice' has nothing to do with power, soft or otherwise. If someone doesn't have power, being nice isn't going to give them power. If they already have power, then being nice is seen as generosity and benevolence. Dominance is associated with more traditionally '…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:09 PM
2

I would call it 'cool.' And it's usually used to describe me by people who don't really know me. Like, "I used to think you were always too-cool, but you're not like that at all..." Well, one friend of mine did accuse me of being 'too-cool' all the time, but that's probably because she was hot, and therefore frustrated by the fact that I didn't give her all the attention she thought I should be giving her, lol. She wasn't used to having to make an effort with guys, apparently, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 06:41 PM
1

Gotta admit, haven't seen 'geez Louise' in a coons age...could be fresh.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 06:33 PM
1

My wife is INTJ, though the I is pretty strong. She could have written what you wrote word for word, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 06:32 PM
1

Yeah, don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining. I'm too old to fall for that trick anymore, plus the guilt and shame has been heaped for so long that it no longer has any impact. Try something fresh.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 05:05 PM
1

Ah, got it. I've got an above-average n-count, but it's no where near 100, so I won't comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:42 PM
3

No, being cold is being cold. If you (proverbial) take the time to interact with me, you (proverbial) would find out that I am not cold (unless you are a dick or an idiot, then, yes, I am, in fact, cold). Just because I can appear cold at times and from a distance doesn't mean I am, lol. And I said that my romanticism can be a weakness. Why would I want to fake that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:40 PM
1

Great link, btw. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:36 PM
2

The fact that others might help him if he was in need. It's funny that you would bring this up in this specific context. The whole reason so many men are turned off by 'gender equality' (at least, 'gender equality' the way it is practiced today) is because they grew up under it only to discover, when they got older, that it felt nothing at all like equality. They helped support it only to find out that, when they needed help themselves, there was no one there. Now, as a man, I don't expect anyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:23 PM
9

This sub cracks me up, lol. What a motley crew...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:01 PM
3

No no, they are stealing sex from guys like him. If they weren't stealing the sex, he'd get to have some.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:00 PM
2

This is hilarious. I've got a lot of those Type 1 traits, and I'm definitely not cold or distant (though I'm sometimes accused of being 'aloof'), and I'm romantic to a fault (it really is my undoing). You clearly need to get out more, lol. A goodly chunk of the people I know and hang out with have many/most of the qualities in Type 1 (as do I, I would say). For me, Type 1's are normal. I'm not going to pass judgement on whether those types are 'good' or not (because IDGAF about who is 'good' fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:57 PM
4

lol wut?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:50 PM
1

Quantify high n-count. At what number does an n-count get to be 'high'?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:50 PM
1

Right, I see what you are saying. Definitely true that a man's attraction to a woman is rarely influenced by how many other men find her attractive. Whereas I know for a fact that the women a man is seen with influences his attractiveness (again, status and power).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:34 PM
1

It's not about who does what. It's not really about doing, it's about being. Doing naturally follows from being.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 08:13 AM
1

If their primary concern is to not feel inferior, they have bigger problems than just making a relationship work. Their need to be speshul is going to cause problems no matter where they find themselves (unless where they find themselves is a place where everyone is less speshul than they are, which is unlikely).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 08:10 AM
1

If you are with someone you know well and love and appreciate but recognize that they are superior to you in some or many ways, do you feel inferior? Do you feel inferior around your boss, or around your teachers/professors, or around someone more intelligent/popular/athletic/whatever than you? If you had to assemble a team to accomplish something huge and significant and life changing, would you want to find the best people possible, people who very well may be superior to you? Or would you sti…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 08:07 AM
1

I'm guessing you're in another DINK (double-income no kids) couple? I was always pretty much the de facto leader in our relationship (with a lot of support from a very strong FO), but my leadership role wasn't all that critical to our marriage until we started planning in earnest to have a kid (a plan complicated by the fact the the '34 years old' deadline was coming up fast, so big shit had to happen and it had to happen NOW). That's when the gender roles shit got real...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:58 AM
1

Generally speaking, if a woman comes to see that she is consistently the one with the clearest head and best reasoning, she going to get very unhappy very quickly. Men are valued for their utility above all, so he better stay fucking useful if he wants to keep her respect (and he definitely wants to keep her respect, because a woman's sexual attraction is grounded in respect - no respect, no sex). This isn't an ideological argument (or, at least, it doesn't need to be). It's a pragmatic one. At …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:39 AM
1

Men and women are different, though. If women don't want there to be a hierarchy, they should stop looking to marry leaders, expecting them to lead, and then rewarding them with sex when they lead well (and stop the sex when they fail to lead well). Men bear the burden of performance. It starts with women accepting dates and doesn't end with marriage. The male gender roles are absolutely reinforced by women for this reason. If you can figure out a way to short-circuit that part of a woman's sex …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:31 AM
1

I don't think it's the same. I absolutely know the power of parental love. I love my son more than anything in the world, and I would sacrifice myself for him without even thinking about it. But the way I love and relate to my son is still different from the way that my wife does. For her, he is all-consuming (true for many mothers, as I've seen). She deprioritized me the moment he came along (and given our life and who are son is, the priorities really fucking matter). I did not deprioritize he…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 07:24 AM
1

Right. I think I was thinking about those things that are not stereotypically associated with introverts. Additionally, women generally express dominance differently from men. They are much more likely to wield 'soft power', which often comes from being warm, outgoing, and well-liked. My wife has never, ever been accused of being a bitch. Ever. By anyone. Despite the fact that she is assertive as hell, gets bored easily and can be impulsive, has no patience for weakness or indecisiveness, and ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 06:41 AM
1

Yeah, I was thinking that, but IIRC, Dave and Buster's would really be more for older kids (my kid is only now kindergartner, and we've been going to Chucky Cheese for the past two or three years). Plus, it's expensive af as I remember it, lol. Like a dollar a game type thing. My kid is just learning how to play video games, and he definitely doesn't get the 'if you shoot that you lose' or 'if you don't make the checkpoints in time you lose' aspects, so we would easily blow through $40 bucks in …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 05:47 AM
1

They're just popular. Are they? I'm not sure. I would say that they are more 'tolerated' (or taken advantage of) than actually popular. The most popular people tend to get the most respect, don't they? I'm thinking the idea of 'Queen Bees' here - they pretty much command the legions...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 05:38 AM
1

I don't know how anyone can be considered socially dominant without first being highly social and sociable. You have to establish yourself somehow...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:22 AM
1

There is a flair specifically for men's rights. IIRC, that was an attempt to section off the MRAs from the general sub such that TRP didn't become yet another MRA sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:10 AM
1

Which can get really fucking old, let me tell you. It's no secret that I'm not particularly fond of feminism, and that I have an appreciation of what MRAs claim to be fighting for, but honestly, focusing on that stuff isn't going to help me (or anyone else) get laid better. It's good to understand how feminism has warped our perception of manhood and masculinity (either intentionally or unintentionally, whatever), but there is more work that needs to be done than just identifying external source…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:09 AM
3

This doesn't work on men because men don't generally care how many other people find a woman attractive. Not sure about this. I think plenty of men see women as another status symbol in their life (think 'trophy wives', or popping bottles with models), and men are usually pretty keen on finding ways to display their status.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 04:04 AM
1

Chicky cheese Is that like Chucky Cheese, except a more target-rich environment? But, yeah, I take my son to Chucky Cheese occasionally. That place is a horror show. I usually have to drink three or four beers just to deal. I don't think I could run game there at all just due to the overstimulating cacophony (regardless of how much beer I consume), but even if I could, I've never seen anyone who was even remotely not-disgusting there (regardless of how much beer I consume), so I wouldn't ever ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:52 AM
1

My wife is extremely introverted, but hugely outgoing, warm, and charismatic (probably the most charismatic person I know). I'm extremely extroverted, but usually pretty reserved and 'aloof' (though I apparently provide a lot of cover for my wife, to hear her tell it - haven't figured that out). Everyone is certain that she's the extro and I'm the intro, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:42 AM
2

Are you an INTJ?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:11 AM
1

I don't think I've ever met a super socially dominant woman who was also an introvert My wife is one. She just packs a lot of energy and performance into a short span of time, then ghosts to maintain her distance and to leave everyone wanting more (and to go home and reenergize, lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 03:09 AM
1

Aw fuck, I knew I was forgetting something. On the flip side, if you're attractive, what do you need the kid for? My experience is that those women who find dads attractive are generally not going to be interested in clandestine hookups, and those that might be interested in clandestine hookups have pussies that dry up at the very thought of getting involved with someone with a young kid. It's all far too responsible to be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 02:47 AM
1

he ALWAYS makes some kind of a joke, or sexualizes it and a "jerk smirk". So basically treats them like a shit test, from what I understand. Perhaps I'm failing to distinguish clearly between shit tests and comfort tests then. My wife is rarely actually vulnerable. If she's being vulnerable and revealing something painful or a real insecurity, that is what occurs like a comfort test, and I usually take it fairly seriously and respond in kind. I can't imagine being snarky or jokey in the face of …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/17 12:21 AM
1

and lots lack girl game This is crazy to me, incidentally. It's like the really good-looking guy who constantly blows it because he lacks game. How hard can learning game be when you start at such an advantage?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:42 PM
1

Man, having a kid never worked for me. If anything, I was seen as the potentially creepy uncle using his sister's kid to try to meet chicks. Fucking pissed me off...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:39 PM
2

I think there are a lot of control freaks here on PPD. Makes sense, really, but it would be nice if they didn't universalize their personal issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:37 PM
2

TRP has kinda taken on a life of it's own. Equating TRP to RP is a mistake, IMO. They are related, for sure, but TRP is a definite sub-culture of RP.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:35 PM
1

On a separate note, if shit testing is a bad idea, does he always accept and pass the comfort tests? Or will he occasionally ignore them/treat them like shit tests? (I'm assuming here that he probably accepts and passes them at least occasionally, or things wouldn't be working all that well)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:33 PM
1

No?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:11 PM
1

And then dread her or shame her or neg her until she backs down? Stop throwing out terms when you clearly have no idea what they mean. It makes you look even more uninformed. JFC We have had serious fights but we argue well and respect each other so there's nothing to really worry about. What clash of values or vision prompted those fights?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 11:02 PM
1

Not womancentric and not LARPing and actual real-world dynamic that requires no 'role-play'. 'Bratty bottom' is just a descriptor put to the existing behavior. You're RP - you should understand how labelling like that works. Poke the bear until he gets worked up and pissed off enough to fuck her up. He would make a brat kill herself He doesn't like sex?!? Why kill a bitch when you can fuck her instead? I prefer to take out my aggression against women through sex, as do many men, I find, but some…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:53 PM
1

The moment he wants something she doesn't more than he wants her happy, he'll do it How is this any different from any other kind of relationship? The exact same thing could be said about women, too. You think that, because the two partners say that their marriage is 'egalitarian' rather than 'C/FM', the use of terminology is going to prevent this shit from happening? If my wife wants something I don't more than she wants me to be happy, do you really think she'll stop herself from pursuing it b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:44 PM
1

Excellent post. Hits so many distinctions that I think are critical to understand. Kirk would be hopeless without Spock, Picard and Riker were a good team, Janeway and Chakotay trusted each other even if they didn't always see eye to eye. I've used this example before, too, and have gotten roundly pilloried for it from the other side, lol. I still think it's valid. I don't know where everyone got this myth from that guys are abusers just waiting to strike Hmmm...I wonder... #yesallmen This belie…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:40 PM
1

Which is probably why you are the captain in your relationship. Hell, that's why I'm the captain in my relationship (or, at least, was). It's not because I was following some playbook or something. It's just how it turned out. Few people I know are as good at coming up with win-win solutions as I am. And if you don't come up with win-wins, you have to compromise, and then no one really gets what they want. Which is fine in any particular situation, but in aggregate it can become quite problemati…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:33 PM
1

Dude, those don't qualify as relationship problems that require compromise and mutual sacrifice. Those sorts of things barely hit the radar, as far as I'm concerned. I'm guessing that, while taking an interest in each others interests is mutually enjoyable for you too, you could easily not share those interests and still have a great relationship. There are plenty of happy couples where the guy enjoys sports while the woman enjoys theater and they rarely enjoy them together. I wouldn't consider …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:28 PM
1

What, you don't like getting put in your place? ;) My wife is a bratty bottom, so shit testing kinda suits her.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:20 PM
1

It's like they're all suffering broken hearts after their ideals failed them, and if you give them any reason to hope again, watch out! No shit. That's why I hate the idea of 'unicorns.' First, I hate it because it's a 'reason to hope.' Second, I hate it because it reflects cynicism. There are no unicorns, and that's okay. People are just human, and they all suffer the flaws inherent in being human. There is no magical way you are going to get around that, so it's best to understand what that me…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:18 PM
1

I get both, lol. My wife absolutely needs to feel loved, and she will comfort test (a lot) to get that assurance. But since I'm not the most alphiest-alpha guy ever, she still wants to shit test me some to make sure I haven't turned into a pussy when she wasn't paying attention, lol. She maintains a light touch with them, tho' - she doesn't usually get super cunty with her shit tests. Plus, she enjoys mixing it up with others, too, so that plays into it, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 10:03 PM
1

What if someone's still learning how? Well, you're right - sometimes I can sense the 'inner submissive' in women, lol, and am willing to give them a shot at learning more. But most of the time, I'm just not interested in wasting time and energy trying to figure out if they have an 'inner submissive' or not. Since, for me, 'submission' is very much a function of 'respect' and 'trust', I kind of treat it similarly - if you don't kind of naturally respect me or trust me as a result of who we are wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 09:58 PM
1

You have to accept all of who you are, the good and the bad, and make peace with it. Most people are more than willing to accept the good in themselves, since that is how we like to see ourselves, lol. And, to be fair, that 'good self' (and I use the term 'good' loosely - it's not necessarily being a 'good boy' or a 'good girl') does usually represent who we aspire to be. It's just that we will never be who we aspire to be until we understand and accept our starting position, namely, that we're …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 09:38 PM
1

I'm sure your wife is dependent on you because she chooses to be, not because she needs to be. I think that's an important distinction. Of course. I read somewhere (else, not RP, lol) recently that men and women are currently being taught so much about how to be independent that they never learn how to be functionally dependent. That is why, IMO, so many couples buckle or outright fail when the mounting pressures and responsibilities of adulthood and family life start really weighing on them. Un…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 09:30 PM
1

Feminists try to sweep the agency of female submission under the rug. Right wing researchers claim you can measure sexual interest by the amount of babies they have (Take THAT, egalitarians who tend to favor smaller families!), and bend definitions so they can pretend all attractive behaviors are alpha as Hell in men. (Leaders of men are noted for their lowered heads of shame, right?) This is the problem when people act from idealism and what they think 'should be' rather than acting from pragma…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 09:21 PM
1

is naturally going to be suspicious of anyone telling her that her place is to surrender to the will of another. I don't believe in 'places', so I would be suspicious, too. Now, I might encourage women to ask the question, 'If you found someone whom you really trust and respect, might you enjoy 'letting go' and falling into the space he creates for you?' I probably don't have to tell you about that, since you identify as submissive yourself (and I'm only commenting on it from the other side of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 09:19 PM
3

If a guy didn't tease me a little I'd assume he didn't like me that much (which may be fucked up/wrong, but it's how it would come across to me.) I feel essentially the same way. That's why I actually like 'shit tests' - it tells me that the interest is there. All I then have to do is 'pass' (with flying colors, hopefully) and I stand a good chance of getting what I want, lol. Perhaps it kind of suits my often more passive/reserved nature. And that's true in all cases. My wife still 'shit tests'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 08:30 PM
3

Alrighty then. As someone who is married to an INTJ, I wouldn't characterize them as 'least universally attractive.' My wife has the distinction of being probably the most universally attractive woman I know. I mean, it's just ridiculous trying to live in her shadow sometimes. She's like WaW incarnate - everyone loves her and she can do no wrong. I will, however, agree that she may be the 'least psychologically feminine.' That doesn't mean she isn't still female-brained, though, and it definitel…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:38 PM
4

Hahahaha... For some reason, I love the comma after 'Oh'. I'm a sucker for well-placed punctuation, apparently...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:29 PM
10

A woman teasing a man is just annoying and cunty. I love women who tease me. How else am I going to get to show off my ability to play (and win) the game, lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:28 PM
1

Aren't you an INTJ?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:26 PM
1

I really think that having a captain implies that the woman is less than and I find it disturbing. Well, that's your own personal interpretation, an interpretation that seems to be giving you heartburn. You might want to stop projecting that personal problem onto others. I have been a manager and when I left for a new job generally a subordinate would replace me Yeah, that sometimes happens. Oftentimes, it doesn't. in this position she's always the subordinate. Not at all. The FO is both capable…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:20 PM
1

If your only area of expertise is history, then I'm beginning to understand why you might be confronted by this idea. And I'm guessing your wife has expertise beyond accounting. The professional education/training that my wife and I have has little to no bearing on how our marriage is conducted (well, apart from our formal training in areas like communications and leadership). Most people are experts in more than just what they went to school for or what they do for a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:14 PM
2

TRP's Wal-Mart knock-off brand Hilarious characterization. I think there is a lot going on in TRP, but I can't really argue with that as a generalization, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 06:40 PM
1

I would say that a lot of conversations about power dynamics are really conversations about authority and authoritarianism. From both sides (the left often being anti-authoritarian and the right often being pro-authoritarian). For me, 'power' and 'authority' are related terms but are not the same thing at all. Leaders are powerful people (by definition), but they may or may not be authoritarians.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 05:37 PM
1

My wife and I make a lot of decisions together, also. Do you really think that a Captain doesn't work with his FO when he makes decisions? Have you ever been a manager or otherwise led a team of people? You don't just make decisions without bringing those you are relying on to fulfill your goals into the decision-making process. That would just be stupid and counter-productive. We all have the same shared goals...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 05:29 PM
1

I'm getting that framed and hung up on my wall. I'm gonna sound corny and cheesy as hell, but I actually admire the shit out of the character of Jack Sparrow. The writers really did imbue him with some really profound and unexpected wisdom. I think that is why that character really took hold in the public imagination. I mean, Jack Sparrow is the ultimate alpha, I would say, lol... makes you more vulnerable to those with more malicious intent. I'll take it one step further... I've done a lot of s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 05:25 PM
1

What? What does that have to do with anything? I would say that it is a trust/respect issue. In life, and outside of formal hierarchies, I am usually the de facto leader. Not because I'm some control freak who has to have things my way, it's just that I don't really come across many people whom I trust and respect enough to follow. When I do find someone whom I trust and respect enough to follow, I am thrilled to be able to follow them. I love the opportunity to put myself in the hands of someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 05:16 PM
1

But neither should women focus on finding a man because they "need" to be taken care of, IMO. Just for fun...why not? Why 'shouldn't' they, if that is what works for them? I take care of my wife in all kinds of ways. I'm sure that, if she had to, she could do all the shit that I do. But why would she, when she can count on me to do it, and possibly even do it better than she could (which, incidentally, is why she got with me in the first place - I could make things happen for her that she had tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 05:10 PM
1

it's not unlike how the definitions of words change or expand based on their usage. Yeah, but that is a bullshit copout. Think of all of the instances where some relatively small group has tried to co-opt a word to make it mean something other than what it originally meant in order to fulfill some agenda they have. That is an attempt to propagandize those words, not to reflect some natural evolution of language, and shouldn't be seen as legitimate.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 04:55 PM
2

JFC. This may be the best, most succinct description of the C/FM dynamic I've ever read, lol. I especially appreciate the idea that the one's adaptability allows the other's ambition to be realized. That, to me, is an often rare but incredibly beautiful dynamic, and obliterates this notion that somehow one partner is superior to the other or 'has all the power.' They both need each other in order to reach the destination they both want to reach.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 04:52 PM
2

Sometimes you just sound so RP, lol... Very insightful distinction regarding ideals and virtue. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 04:46 PM
2

Everyone is manipulative. Every single socially able human being manipulates others whenever they open their mouths. I think you are pointing to one of the biggest differences in paradigm between BPers and (at least thoughtful) RPers. It's also the difference between idealism and pragmatism. I fully accept that human beings are manipulative every time they open their mouths. I also accept that they lack inherent (natural) integrity, that they tend to be myopic, that they are aggressive and are o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 04:44 PM
1

There is always a need for a leader. In every area of life. If I'm not following someone, then I'm the de facto leader. That's how life works. I love it when I get to follow someone else's lead. It's so much fucking easier. Unfortunately, there are very few people who put in the effort to lead, and even fewer whose leadership I trust, so I end up being leader most of the time in life. So I usually find myself leading in life. Now, how is it degrading if my wife chooses to follow my lead rather t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 04:23 PM
1

What makes her a second-class citizen? Again, have you ever actually known any FOs? A First Officer is fully prepared to take over and fully capable of taking over for a Captain at a moment's notice. What about that situation would make you the think that the FO is considered a 'second-class citizen'? Additionally, how effective and fulfilling do you think their partnership will be if A) the Captain treats the FO as a second-class citizen and B) the FO does not respect the Captain? Following a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 03:08 PM
2

Excellent post overall I think this is completely normal and harmless, and it's only considered controversial on here because it's put into words if that makes sense. I think this is big. Stuff like our experience of 'sexual dynamics' (or social dynamics in general) isn't really a cognitive function. It operates in a different, more ontological realm (experiential vs intellectual). Discussing the ontological (which is the best way I can put it right now) in intellectual/academic/objective terms …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:25 AM
2

It's not at all dead in the west. It's still the way it has always been, it's just not codified anymore. Just because most cultural institutions don't actively promote it anymore doesn't mean that suddenly all the ingrained sexual dynamics are no longer there. Women must respect a man in order to find him sexually attractive, and it takes a certain kind of man to command respect from others. Leaders command respect, which is why they are considered leaders. So women are turned on by leaders (the…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 07:16 AM
1

'k
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 06:41 AM
1

'k
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 02:51 AM
1

You're the equating 'weak and ineffective' to narcissistic tyrants. I'm the one adding some other shades in there, I think. While I of course don't disagree that narcisstic anything is the result of a weak sense of self, that isn't the only flavor of weakness. Weakness can show up in myriad forms, of which narcissistic tyrant is but one.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 10:50 PM
6

Can confirm. As a matter of fact, having now seen parenthood from the perspective of actually being a parent, I try to find ways to allow my mother to be mothering to me. I now know how much being able to do that can mean to a parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 08:04 PM
1

I get that. I was deeply ambivalent wrt the idea of children, mostly because I liked my life and was having tons of fun without them. And I knew how hard they are. I probably wouldn't have had kids if my wife hadn't been so adament (same goes for most guys, I think). Of course, now that the horse is out of the barn, I can't imagine life without my son. His birth literally redefined how I thought about life and love. Like, I didn't know what love was until he came along. Ya just never know...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 06:45 PM
1

I have the least maternal instinct out of any woman I know. Well, my experience says that you won't know until you actually have kids of your own (not saying you should, of course). When they say that everything changes when you have a child, you have no idea just how deep that rabbit hole goes, lol. To say that everything you know and everything you've ever known and your entire idea of reality changes wouldn't be overstating it, at least for a lot of people. Honestly, seeing as I've been with …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 05:11 PM
2

I agree. That often happens. And it's find that it does, but you have to understand the implications of that in some situations. unless you're operating in a formal hierarchical structure. The number one problem with this whole C/FM conversation (and with TRPers in general, I find) is this tendency to want to look at everything in terms of 'shoulds' and 'right/wrong.' It leads to wanting to 'codify' roles into 'formal hierarchical structures', which for me is idealistic and not at all pragmatic …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:53 PM
1

I think that makes a huge difference. Most women, especially hard-working, bread-winning women, have a hard time making their husbands their first priority once they have kids. Her kids will almost always be a woman's first priority. Dat maternal instinct, yo...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:38 PM
1

Yes. And I'm not just talking romantic relationships. Every kind of relationship that any one human has with any other human involves a power dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:35 PM
1

Do you have kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:32 PM
1

Even co-pilots aren't equal in function.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:27 PM
3

I wish my FO would order me to quit my job, lol. I hate work...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:24 PM
2

Gotta say - like the new flair, lol. Kudos...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:23 PM
1

I have no doubt that some women like to lead their relationships. You may be one of those women. I still maintain that respect is fundamental to female sexual desire. If your husband does not command your respect through leadership, he will need to find other ways to accomplish that. Especially once children come along and life gets hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:19 PM
5

Like who the fuck leaves their partner because they get made redundant Three divorces happened in my community at the height of the recession that were directly related to job loss. And, of course, the men not finding a new job (which was a real risk, given how the economy was shedding jobs at an alarming rate). My own marriage took a major hit when I lost my job and my wife thought I 'wasn't doing enough' to get back on top.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 04:01 PM
1

I don't at all disagree with that. My point is that there are many manifestations of being weak. For some it might be narcissisticly controlling and domineering behavior, but a lack of that behavior doesn't mean someone is strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 03:41 PM
1

It's not necessarily any more of a teachable moment than any other. I just find the certainty and lack of questioning and curiousity remarkable, especially when it comes to something as huge as marriage. It always seems to me to reflect a deep-seated faith in a just world or something...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 03:39 PM
1

I'm just reporting what I'm seeing. I have no interest in making shit up. There have been literally dozens of divorces in my community in recent years, and with a couple of exceptions, they all look eerily similar. Of course, your life may never incur the sort of issues and risks that all of those marriages did, so there may be nothing at all for you to learn from them, and you haven't a thing to concern yourself over, whereupon...good on ya'. No skin off my back...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 03:10 PM
1

otherwise it's just not right. I literally don't give a shit about what is 'right' and what isn't. This isn't about right and wrong, or about values, or about 'traditionalism', or about any other kind of ideology. I realize that many BPers probably get thrown by all the hand-wringing moralizing that so many TRPers love to engage in, but realize that they are engaging in futility. RP is amoral. There is no 'right' and 'wrong'. There is what works, and what doesn't work. That is the only question …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 03:05 PM
1

Hmmmmm... So a wish-washy, indecisive, unconfident milquetoast is actually the kind of strong man women should be looking for? He is strong enough not to become a petty tyrant, so it's all good! Yep, checks out... /s
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 02:44 PM
9

I think you are relating to this as an authoritarian issue. It's not. It's a leadership issue. Authorities demand respect. Leaders command respect. Authoritarians therefore never get actual respect, even if they get treated with respect. Which is important to know here, because actual respect is fundamental to female desire. Being authoritarian won't cut it when it comes to actual attraction (as opposed to, say, duty sex).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 02:43 AM
0

The only truly equal relationship is where nobody gives an inch nor compromises and fights are taken to the death. (figuratively) That is not a good dynamic, it's horrible for both. The other option is where both partners operate with complete autonomy. Neither looks to the other for anything, so neither are disappointed when nothing happens. There are few, if any, shared goals or commitments or aspirations or responsibilities, so there is little opportunity for disagreement. The marriage is rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 01:07 AM
1

Young women, maybe not. Wait until they become mothers and the divorces start... None of this usually matters significantly early on in a marriage when everyone is in love and enjoying a honeymoon period with minimal responsibilities. Add in a couple of kids, a substantial mortgage, a very real struggle between maternal instincts and career aspirations, and lots of concern for everyone's well-being and future, then see what happens to the whole 'gender roles doesn't matter' ideal. And I live in …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 12:54 AM
1

In a way they do like it to some degree too as theyll have created reward mechanisms for leading and so literally feel good when they do so. Yeah, I haven't seen this happen, even with women who are strong leaders in the rest of their lives. Especially with those women, actually - they tend to want to leave that stuff behind when they get home and would rather feel taken care of than lead there also.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 12:37 AM
1

And at any point she can leave. Which, in fact, women are much more likely to do. And if all the divorces in my social circle (and there have been legion) are any indication, women leave because they think their men are weak and ineffective, not because they are narcissistic tyrants.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 12:34 AM
3

I'm sure not every woman would be happy in that kind of marriage. Hell, lots of women don't seem to be happy in any kind of marriage. Who knows what they want half the time. That's why a man should set himself on a mission in life and find a woman who wants to come along for the ride. She's there because she wants to be, not because he needs or is forcing her to be. His life will probably go better for him if she isn't the focus of his energies...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 10:10 PM
4

And? Is there something magical about a decision over a deferment? Both are the result of being empowered, so I'm not clear what the actual issue is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 10:05 PM
1

If she's so capable why doesn't she do it all? If she's really capable, she probably can. Doesn't mean she wants to, though, and it doesn't mean she would prefer it. If a man isn't contributing significantly to the well-being of his wife and children, what the fuck use is he? Men are a dime a dozen... Strong, independent women desire even stronger, more independent men. There is never a point, as far as I've seen, where a woman is comfortable saying, 'I got this whole life thing, honey - don't y…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:49 PM
0

Both, actually. I don't think that true egalitarian relationships actually exist (in any form - romantic or otherwise), and I think that most who claim to have an 'egalitarian' relationship are either unaware of the actual male-dominated dynamic or are in a female-dominated relationship, and that women often take control of relationships under the guise of it being 'egalitarian.'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:46 PM
2

Didn't Gone Girl get a big feminist backlash? I remember hearing an interview with the author where she confessed to laying awake at night concerned that she might have done the sisterhood a great disservice (or something like that).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:43 PM
1

I'd still consider you a "girl". Likewise, if you're a 25 year old male without these traits, I'd consider you a "boy". The difference is, being considered a girl is at worst a neutral descriptor. No one looks down on 'girls', and many find them very attractive and even preferable (I'm one). No one has any use for 'boys' until they become 'men.'
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:40 PM
1

No one calls an adult male over the age of like 20 a "boy." Sure they do. They call them 'Peter Pans' and 'man-children' and the like if they have reached a certain age and aren't yet fulfilling what society expects of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:37 PM
3

There is no such thing as a truly egalitarian relationship - romantic, friendly, professional, whatever. Humans operate in social hierarchies. That's what they do. There is always a power dynamic, even if it's not apparent to the casual observer. Even if it's not always apparent to the individuals in the relationship. As someone else said, it's like dancing. When both people are fulfilling their roles perfectly, there is no obvious 'leader' or 'follower.' Everything is executed with grace and ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:30 PM
4

Hahaha...no shit. My poor wife has to live under such oppressive conditions where I ongoingly forgo my desire to fuck other women in favor of monogamy, give her half (or more) of whatever it is that I have, support her dreams of having a family and a career, listen to her complaints, calm her down when she gets distraught, takes her out and shows her a good time, all while taking full responsibility for our family and it's future (at least, I did all that when I was actually being a captain/lead…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:24 PM
4

And 'egalitarian' relationships are pretty much carte blanche for female narcissists.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:17 PM
6

My parents often had a similar dynamic, despite the fact that my mom would often try to (passive aggressively) dominate things. If she really wanted something, my dad would do his best to make it happen for her. When a desire was unrealistic or counter-productive to the good of the family, he had no problem putting his foot down, and she would abide by that unquestioningly. Mostly because, I'm sure, she trusted that if he could, he would. She never doubted his benevolence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:16 PM
1

While that is true, that doesn't preclude C/FM. A C/FM marriage should do that exact thing. It's just that, in general, the marriage will be much happier for both parties if it is the man who demonstrates the superior knowledge and skills. It can certainly go the other way, and should, if that is the reality of the situation. But that is not the key to a happy marriage for most couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:13 PM
1

Totally it should. But what men need to know is that it is in their best interest to keep himself in a position to call great shots. Always be improving. A woman who increasingly finds herself needing to take the lead in her relationship is almost inevitably going to increasingly lose respect for her husband. And the respect that a man is able to command (through being high value, high status, competent, resourceful, decisive, confident, capable, etc.) is the very foundation for female desire. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 09:11 PM
20

That sounds like 'master/slave', not C/FM. Someone who has to have their way all the time is not a leader. They are a narsicisstic control freak, or they like playing BDSM games. No ship would ever make it very far if that was how actual Captains and First Officers operated.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 08:58 PM
1

Haha, he's not a bad guy. Oh no, don't get me wrong - there is nothing 'wrong', per se, in holding that view. It's just probably not conducive to seducing women, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 06:32 PM
2

Why do you think they regretted it afterwards? In one case, I think she regretted it because it got her 'addicted' to someone who didn't reciprocate her enthusiasm, so she took the position that the sex we had was all because of me (which was so blatantly untrue it was actually quite scary, like Donald Trump/'alternative facts' level scary) and that she was just going along with it. In the other case, I think she felt she let herself down by having sex too quickly and blamed it on me. Despite th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 06:29 PM
2

I'm quite risk-averse myself. Which is why the craziness of doing something that carries a high risk of death or drama is all the more thrilling, lol. I don't do that sort of thing often...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 06:14 PM
1

He's not particularly attractive or charming so it could also be delivery. You are likely correct. I can imagine that saying "I'm not looking for anything serious" coming from this place doesn't believe in romantic love n has no interest in a relationship might have a decidedly chilling effect. I absolutely believed in romantic love, and I was always interested in relationships. It's just that I wasn't necessarily oriented towards those things. I wasn't against them, by any means, if that's what…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 06:13 PM
1

What can I say? My head under her leg under my arm under her toe...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 06:06 PM
1

if you are so irresponsible to be having sex with a different partner every weekend then i doubt you are responsible enough to take your birth control. I did this for a while (not always every weekend, but probably at least once or twice a month for at least a year). I always used a condom, despite the fact that I despise condoms. I also regularly used drugs but always took care to mind my use and my surroundings such that they wouldn't fuck up my life. There is no rule that says you can't be he…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 06:01 PM
2

This seems obvious to me. Apparently not to everyone. I engaged in some crazy casual sex in my time. So crazy that I referred to those instances as moments of 'demonic possession.' I was well aware of the potential consequences and repercussions. I just didn't really care... I once rode my motorcycle at 150 mph. I realized the riskiness and (honestly) stupidity of doing that well before I did it, and I was present to how risky (and stupid) it was the whole time I did it (which is why I didn't st…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 05:57 PM
1

That's overwhelmingly supported by anecdotes of normal people "BPers" and by empirical evidence that most women just don't have that many partners in their past. So you are disagreeing with the findings here? And 60% of people reporting an ONS experience (how many % women, by the way?) could easily mean they only had ONE such experience Okay. One is all it takes, right? If I say that, IME, most women are open to having casual sex, at least at some point and with the right person, them having eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 05:49 PM
1

The claim I see more often is that most women try it a few times, don't like it n then avoid it. TRP/PUA goal is to be one of those guys girls try it with, lol. That sounds reasonable. I was always told, "I never do this!" or "I can't believe I'm doing this!" or something along those lines. I never actually believed that, of course, as I'm not some Mr. Studmuffin McDreamy, but I guess you never know... Also, these days sex precedes relationships so a lot of girls will have sex with a guy in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 05:42 PM
1

I would say that a ONS is the most extreme form of casual sex. It doesn't get more casual than a ONS. So, if 60% of people report having a ONS, how many more might report having engaged in casual sex that isn't quite so extreme?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 11:39 AM
1

Uh, that's not exactly what constitutes FWBs in my world... :shrug: I don't think anyone would sign up for what you are proposing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 03:05 AM
2

My definition of one night stand is you pick up some girl/guy, sex em, then forget about them That's what makes a ONS a ONS, true. I think that the definition they are using in the article is 'sex with someone with no knowledge of what is going to happen after.' They might part ways and forget about each other, they might not. No one knows until the time comes...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 01:48 AM
1

I once got busy...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 01:45 AM
1

Yep. A proper cost/benefit analysis is essential, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 01:44 AM
3

but it makes me wonder why they keep doing it. Because they don't tend to complain about the times that it's awesome. Also, depending on how the night ended/what their expectations were, good sex at the time can suddenly become bad sex in retrospect. That's happened a couple of times with women who have slept with me (I know for a fact that they were enjoying the hell out of the experience in the moment), and I know two other women for whom that happened (both times it was cheating sex). The nar…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 01:12 AM
1

Yeah, I get that. FWBs is like any other kind of relationship that involves sex - it requires finesse to make it work, and to make ending it also work. I've seen them end well (one of my best and dearest friends started out as a FWB). And I've seen them get really ugly. YMMV...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 01:07 AM
1

What's the issue here? The issue is, when I say that a large percentage of women are at least open to having casual sex (whether they actually do or not), I'm roundly criticized. I've been told repeatedly that most women never engage in casual sex and most women aren't even interested in casual sex. That the number of women interested in casual sex is small as a percentage of the whole, so it follows that RP, with it's emphasis on creating sexual arousal with or without a relationship, only appl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 01:03 AM
1

Creepy or not, I think that it's actually pretty normal (though someone taking it to the extreme by having an overtly detectable Oedipus complex would not be normal). Our attachment behavior is established early on by our relationships with our parents. Our concept of love and relationships are formed by experiencing love and relationship from our parents and by watching how they do love and relationship. It's no secret that our parents have an outsized role in how we approach life in general, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:48 AM
5

Sex can be better when one is in love. That doesn't mean that sex when one isn't in love is some kind of shitty proposition. I've had some amazing, mind-blowingly hot sex with women I really didn't know all that well (if at all). Any love there was more limerence than actual love.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:42 AM
6

I didn't support Trump, but I was interested to see what was going to happen once he took office. I have to say, I'm more concerned now than I was when he took office. I'm not at all opposed to someone being a disrupter, but the way in which he is disrupting things doesn't seem to be particularly productive. Quite honestly, I'm a little surprised. I thought he'd be a lot more savvy...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:37 AM
1

While I think it isn't necessarily true of men, I think it happens for men far more often than they usually let on. Generally speaking, I would say that it all depends on A) how attracted the man is to the woman/how thirsty that man is, and B) if the woman is the one to end the fun times, how abruptly/coldly/impersonally the woman ends it. The 'take away' dynamic can work similarly for both men and women. As someone who has enjoyed FWBs in the past, and as someone who has many guy friends who cu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:30 AM
2

I think the first thing that can change as a result of this data is the notion that engaging in casual sex is something only a minority of people have ever done, a view that is heavily promoted by BPers on this sub (and a view that I find no corollary for IRL). If 60% of people have reported having a one night stand, how many more would report having engaged in some form of casual sex? I mean, I have had four ONSs (IIRC, might be forgetting one or two). But I've had way more casual sex. Every se…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 11:14 PM
2

The constant wondering and possible anxiety of losing them prompted by the hints and suggestions of his/her partner implying the ever-present threat of leaving or infidelity. It's not 'hints and suggestions.' It's increasing and demonstrating one's value in the SMP such that the man becomes a 'catch.' There are two things that can happen as a result. One, the woman enjoys feeling like she's in a relationship with a 'catch.' She is not only turned on by her partner's attractiveness, but she gets …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 09:50 PM
2

The damage comes before dread game. Dread game is the damage control. This.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 09:33 PM
4

The irony is if he got angry about it, he'd be told to stop putting pressure on her or that his orgasm is not her problem. By contrast everything must grind to a halt when she is not happy. So much this. I've been in so many conversations where the pressures women put on men to do what they want them to do is considered a good thing (or at least not bad), whereas the pressures men put on women are always bad and oppressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 08:56 PM
1

Your comment above where you basically ask 'why do women care about these things and not just sex like me?!' You gotta work on your reading comprehension. Not only did I not ask that question (basically or otherwise), I admonished those who would seem to ask that 'quoted' question. You couldn't have gotten it more wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/17 06:38 PM
1

Maybe your inability to understand this might be why your marriage seems to be in such disarray? Lol wut? What makes you think I don't understand any of what you wrote?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 01:56 PM
2

Pure awesome. Actually, having once dabbled in polyamory, I would say that it's having to provide emotional support and security to multiple wives. JFC that was a headache. Great for the sex life, tho'. After that, it was only one wife and then FWBs as appropriate...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 09:09 PM
1

I think the biggest threat to happiness in a marriage is letting yourself go physically. Respectfully disagree. I mean, it's never ever a good thing to get fat, but I don't know that it is a big threat, let alone the biggest. I mean, if you stop taking care of yourself altogether (neglecting hygiene, dress, skin and hair care, whatever), maybe, but I don't think many people who aren't suffering from depression go that far. There are a lot of fat and happy couples out there. At least from the mal…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 08:59 PM
1

Bizarre. Even when i'm well laid, I still get aroused by random women. Maybe it is habitual or something. Maybe I'm the Pavlov's dog of sex...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 08:36 PM
3

No, she is totally open about it. I would say that she also wanted to as well, but that she made it more of a priority early on. As she got older, she felt like other priorities should be taking precedence, and that putting that much energy into something like sex (as opposed to, say, accomplishing important goals) was pointless and even 'immature'. Her/our focus and energies would be better applied elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 08:35 PM
6

and I'm guessing that during the times that she's burned for you less you guys were going through something stressful. Sometimes. Stress certainly can take an 'okay' sex life to dead bedroom territory. But overall, it was more a (as others have put it), 'well, that's just how relationships go, right?' sort of thing. Part of the problem is looking at this as binary rather than spectrum. For example, I know I'm not the most 'alpha' guy my wife had been with (not like she had a lot of partners, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 06:25 PM
7

why should she value his I don't know - why should she? The interesting part is that they do seem to value such things highly. Unlike men, who don't value those things nearly as highly as sex and intimacy. It's almost as if men and women are different. The mistake everyone keeps making is that they assign value to those things in themselves that they value in others and expect others to agree. Unfortunately, that's not how value works.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 05:28 PM
4

There is no such thing as 'pointless sex', lol. I've hd sex without commitment, and commitment without sex. The former is infinitely more preferable to the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 05:24 PM
10

'Getting a woman' without getting the sexy sex is a consolation prize. Much better to get the woman and the sexy sex. Because here's the thing - no woman I've ever known has treated me as well as a woman who is craving me sexually. I have some very close and loving friendships with women. None of them are as tuned into my needs and well-being as even a casual FWB. Being in a relationship with a woman who lacks real sexual desire for you can often be more headache than it is worth. Over the years…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 04:51 PM
2

They won't literally give me a boner, but yeah, I will definitely want to fuck in that moment. The 'attractive women will get my attention' sounds more like what women will say. 'Sure, he's hot. I don't know that I want to fuck him, but I'm mirin.' Attractive women for sure make me say 'Hellz yeah I want to fuck that! Daaayum!' In my head only, of course. I always remain cool and non-chalant on the outside...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 07:32 AM
1

Women are hypergamous, which is not necessarily the same as monogamous. Whatever the case, I would say that basic observation skills would lead one to determine that humans are decidedly not a 'mate for life' species.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 04:03 AM
2

they said women that attractive are very rare Poor bastards - I wonder where they live? There is a non-stop parade of hot women around my neighborhood everyday, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 04:02 AM
1

Which seems obvious, as few humans I am aware of actually mate for life. At least, not without not mating for life a few times first...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 04:00 AM
1

That's either an outdated view, or a very new one. If it's new, I stand corrected.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:56 AM
1

there's no consensus The consensus of the majority is that humans are naturally serially monogamous. I have yet to see any other theories given as much weight as that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:28 AM
1

The drive for polygyny is the critical distinction. Marriage is a social institution, not a natural one.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:27 AM
1

I know, I know... (well, some people do, obviously ^ . many don't.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:26 AM
5

Yep, that's basically me. And it's not just you. I've come across that a lot in women. Which is why women who don't know any better are often confused and hurt by their man's 'roving eyes.' It's also why some women who don't know any better freak out the day that they become sexually aroused by another man and make that mean that something is wrong with their current relationship. That can cause serious problems...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:22 AM
1

Neuroscience is the only one that doesn't depend on social structure and constructs. Right. Oh, except for all of those behaviors that are found across populations despite differing social structures and constructs. Still I would like to hear an actual neuroscientists perspective On what? Human nature? It's not hard to find their perspectives. I would like to know what they would say about your assertion that no one can claim to know what they are claiming to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:19 AM
1

I don't think TRPers know better than anthropologists, biologists, etc about "human nature". I'm not referencing TRPers. I'm referencing anthropologists. The majority of whom assert that serial monogamy (4-7 years) is the 'norm' for humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:17 AM
2

I would like to see how anyone can objectively claim to know human nature Are you kidding me? Does the term 'neuroscience' mean anything to you? Or psychology? Or economics? Or anthropology? I only care about how drives and instincts work in current society Then you know that monogamy is a very tenuous mating strategy for human beings.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:59 AM
1

We have a drive to have sex with as many sexually attractive women as possible. That's polygyny, not hypergamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:53 AM
7

Perfectly stated. Kudos. I would add that I know plenty of women who literally see no man other than their husband (when they are happily married to him and feel fulfilled in that marriage) as sexually arousing, whereas I know of almost no men who are not sexually aroused by at least a few women, no matter how happily married and fulfilled they are at the time. (And for everyone else, an inb4: no, that doesn't mean those married men are itching to cheat or otherwise looking for ways to fuck thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:52 AM
2

right, I'm only concerned with current social constructs and reality. Except that the current social constructs and 'reality' have a high failure rate. That's why it's important to understand how and why monogamy does and doesn't work in human beings if you are actually committed to success. Not what someone thinks how natural human behavior would arise in a hypothetical thought experiment where society was removed. It's not hypothetical. Human nature is human nature. We have innate drives and i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:43 AM
3

Monogamy is a social construct. Even completely non-RP anthropologists agree that monogamy, the way it is practiced in the modern era, does not reflect 'natural' human behavior. People need to really understand that if they want to succeed at life-long monogamous relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:03 AM
1

Thanks for providing the needed RP 101 wrt male and female sexual strategies. I feel like the whole pillosphere could use a overhaul with the goal of reorienting everyone back to what RP actually says. If people don't fundamentally understand what you just wrote and the implications thereof, they can't possibly understand the RP model of sexual dynamics and sexual imperatives/strategies. :smh:
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:01 AM
1

It has more to do with the users than the actual idea of The Red Pill. Disagree in the vast majority of instances. I get that this is what a lot of detractors claim. But when they keep up the detracting, no matter who is presenting the ideas or how they are being presented, you start to put the lie to this particular claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 02:44 PM
2

Well I still think you have the wrong attitude when saying that "if you want kids, that's all your responsibility." What is included in 'all your responsibility' though? Why does she even need you then? Because us fathers are doing a fuckload of work to raise our children. And we have to put up with our spouses throwing us (or, at least, our marriages) under the bus while we do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 05:52 AM
1

Hey, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 02:12 AM
1

Are you on hormonal birth control? When my wife had baby rabies, she called her birth control pills her 'anti-crazy pills.' If she wasn't on BC, once a month she would have fucking freak-out meltdowns over getting pregnant (or, more specifically, not having gotten pregnant yet).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 01:00 AM
1

You're just jelly 'cause I can answer all of those questions in the positive and you can't. Haters gonna hate...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:56 AM
1

You need an 'inb4' for 'But that's not red pill! Anyone can say that! Plus, it can't possibly be considered red pill because no sexism and misogyny, duh...'
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:55 AM
1

Probably due to reproductive pressure, if I had to guess. Actually, it's usually hormonal (according to my research). Rates are the same between pre-pubescent boys and girls, and between post-menopausal women and men. It's the years in between where the danger lies. Though you're not wrong that the social aspects exacerbate the issue. I would say, though, that this: If you're a woman of reproductive age but don't have a man, assuming you want kids, chances are you're going to be depressed and an…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:51 AM
1

Well this: Women of reproductive age are much more likely to suffer issues with depression and anxiety (especially once they have children, IME). is a fact, regardless of the rest. Draw from that what you will. I've been doing a lot of research on depression and related issues in the last several months, lol. No reason...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:23 AM
2

I get the social conditioning argument, but I think this is one case where biology comes into play as well. Women of reproductive age are much more likely to suffer issues with depression and anxiety (especially once they have children, IME). The men in their life are likely going to need to be able to calm them and soothe them, at least to some degree. What they for sure cannot do is anything that would exacerbate those doubts and anxieties. Being seen as 'weak' is certainly something that can …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 11:46 PM
1

Damn, just missed it, lol... (though I'm not so sure about that last date - I was definitely around back then...)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 11:39 PM
1

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 11:25 PM
1

I think you are definitely on to something here. My wife tries to do this all the time, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 10:44 PM
3

Curious - which window is that? (is concerned that I may have missed that particular window, lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 10:43 PM
2

I've worked with women who have 0 complaints about their husbands in terms of "neediness" and "uselessness" and they have kids. Of course. Those men are probably quite strong and fulfill their role as being 'a rock' very well. Their wives probably still support them, but they don't require much support to begin with. I've also met women who complain about their husbands being useless or like a child and they don't have kids. Sure. Some men are more needy/useless/like a child than others. Some wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 10:38 PM
2

You're confusing 'good enough' in the moment that they get together with 'good enough' to go the distance.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 10:24 PM
3

Except men are less demanding and entitled than women. Men who can afford to be are, though. That's usually more circumstantial and less inherent. here's no "complement" to women, because nothing's ever good enough for them That's a separate issue from what women respond to in terms of attraction. No women would get with a man if nothing was ever good enough for them. Clearly, at some point that man is considered 'good enough.'
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:56 PM
2

No wonder I love Halloween so much...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:52 PM
4

Ideally, people would seek out partners (friends or whatever too) that have excelled in places they are lacking in an attempt to learn from them. I think these make for the best relationships. Of any kind - romantic, friendly, professional, whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:52 PM
6

I think that's the point. Women aren't men, and men aren't women. Feminine women want masculine men to complement them. They aren't looking for a competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:50 PM
1

I can tell you that, in my relationships, well over 50% of the women cheated, lol. Getting my masculine shit together helped put a stop to that. I can't imagine how much better I might have been had I had the specific distinctions of RP to help me in that process.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:46 PM
2

I think over time, we'll get rid of the toxic gender roles that have been the norm for so long. IME, the gender roles come roaring back when a woman becomes a mother. Once she already has a child, she is going to have far less patience for having to 'take care of' her partner. That's when she wants, even needs, her partner to be strong, stoic, independent, and a support to her (vs the other way around). She is entirely focused on nurturing her child, and all emotional labor goes to that end. As …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:44 PM
2

BTW, thanks for answering my question. I'm still trying to plot out the points, of course, but I feel like 'cads' can and are quite often different from 'criminals' (though both can have their allures). The most successful 'Cad' I've ever known would never be confused with a criminal/thug/hypermasculine-type. He was, however, very likely a sociopath, or at least had high sociopathic tendencies (I did see him express a bit of what seemed like genuine emotion and concern a couple of times, so I'm …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:39 PM
1

It was more a '50% of partners cheat' statistic. I'm not sure it was specifically gendered, but I do know that those statistics certainly didn't single out one sex over the other as being more likely to cheat. And that was like, 20 years ago or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:05 PM
2

Working on it. Making progress some, actually, but I got myself into a pretty deep hole...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:03 PM
2

How about next time, in the interest of good faith, you might ask, "Nom, what makes you think you were more attractive in your thirties? That doesn't make sense to me" instead of just assuming I'm a clueless idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:03 PM
3

How am I even being brazen? Thanks though. 'Women's expectations of men are reasonable and make perfect sense. Men's expectations of women are unreasonable and make no sense.' And what exactly is wrong with pressuring someone to improve? Because how you think they should improve is your opinion, based on your agenda and your desires. Pressuring them to fit your agenda inherently lacks partnership and empathy. Are you saying that you didn't even want a family? Personally, I was deeply ambivalent.…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 09:01 PM
1

How about those of us who spend little time on TRP proper, and prefer the source materials that TRP was set up to discuss? While I think that TRP can and does produce useful content, I won't argue with anyone the idea that it mostly produces shite. I'm in it for the useful content, not the shite. I don't like outrage or outrage porn, no matter the context.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:43 PM
2

And yet those coincidences happen about 25% of the time in marriages. Years ago, the statistics used to be much higher. Like on the order of 50% or something. I wonder what changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:38 PM
2

This is baffling to me. Flip the genders - would you agree with that statement then? I sure would.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:37 PM
3

I see men here CONSTANTLY talking about how men have more honor Oh man, I don't. I'm in no way negative or pessimistic or misanthropic, but being honorable takes a lot of effort for anyone. I never just assume anyone will act with honor, especially because of their sex. men are the true romantics Yeah, but that isn't a good thing. There is nothing more admirable about being romantic over being realistic. They are both paradigms that we operate from, and both have their flaws as well as their all…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:32 PM
1

Think of them as dares then, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:28 PM
2

I would say - ask this of every RP flaired person on here. See what they say. I will bet my username the majority would agree that this is the core idea. Somehow, a lot of us are able to cut through the big pile o' shit that is TRP (and, to a lesser extent, the manosphere) to all arrive at the same core ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:27 PM
2

That's more than your own life example which you keep bringing up. :) Most of my close friends have gone through divorce at this point. I've seen way more than I would ever have wanted to see. And these are all folks in the 'safe' demographic - married mid-twenties or later, professional, MC or UMC, college or graduate degrees, etc. They aren't your stereotypical divorcees. Where did I say that? One is a spinster, one has a dog. The former would, by definition, not have children; the latter, wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 08:18 PM
2

It's a needle if you're searching for it in the BP outrage porn highlight reels. For anyone who reads anything but the outrage porn, it wouldn't be a needle.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 06:43 PM
2

A family friend and a coworker. Friend lives in her own property and is enjoying her newfound spinster life while cheater husband lost his job. No idea about coworker's husband but she lives in her own property too and is very happy with her dog. Oh wow! Two whole examples? Neither of which have a family (as the vast majority of the population does)? I take it back - you must be an expert! /s Lots of women do not want children, can't stand them, find them insufferable, and only end up having the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 05:38 PM
1

Nah, that's your wish Exactly how many divorces have you experienced up close and personal? I'm not talking hypotheticals here. Do you honestly think that a woman not getting to be with her children for half of the time for their entire childhood will really make her happier? Do you think she will be happier living with less money and more financial uncertainty? She won't do what, let herself be raped by her partner who demands sex when she doesn't want it, without any care or regard for her nee…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 04:28 PM
1

No one is ever completely trapped. But that doesn't mean that freeing oneself from that situation won't completely devastate the lives of both partners and (even more importantly) the innocent children. It's not like everyone is completely free to do as they will. The costs can be astronomical.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 04:11 PM
1

What if she is withholding sex because she doesn't feel like having sex with him? She doesn't expect anything from him, she just doesn't want to be sexual with him. The manipulation, then, wouldn't be about sex. It would be about the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 04:08 PM
1

This is directly personal: And if you were in your 30s it's pretty unlikely that you had 'never looked so good' unless you made some massive changes from your youth. I fail to see how I'm taking it 'too personal'. You have some notion as to who I am and what I must be like, and you are projecting that onto me. It's called debating in bad faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 04:03 PM
1

But you can't blame the man when the woman is the one causing the problem. What is he supposed to do? Just let her walk all over him? And I agree - jealousy and possessiveness is never a good look (I refuse to ever show those things, even if I feel them - I will never give someone that satisfaction). But it's pretty understandable in that situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:58 PM
1

You cheat, she has the right to dump you and cross you out of her life. Of course. Then we're right where we would have been anyway, right? And this: she can just rid herself of someone who doesn't care about her leads to this: her life and the life of her family be destroyed regardless, that's the point. And why does she deserve this: be with a better man who fulfills her need for respect of her time and sexuality when she won't do that for her partners? Is it appropriate that women just take t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:58 PM
1

Doesn't sound that helpful. It's helpful. To most men. I can totally recognize that. It would have been just the thing I needed when I was in my early twenties, for example, and going through my anger phase (or it would have kept me stuck in my anger phase, hard tellin', but might be worth the risk). It's less helpful to men like me (as I said, not entirely useless, just insufficient or not as targeted) who need a little somethin'-somethin' extra to actually manifest positive change. I'm pretty …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:55 PM
1

Makes sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:49 PM
1

Interesting idea. I can totally see that. Though in some instances I might be more charitable than calling it 'revenge.' It might be a case of wanting something just for themselves, since they feel like that is what their partner is getting.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 04:12 AM
1

I do. And I'm here to report, the lines are not at all clear for me, and I'm guessing I'm not the only guy who has to try and sort them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:09 AM
1

Well, we are batting back and forth about a theoretical situation. Only kind of. It's actually pretty damned close to my situation, though it's been a couple years since I even had a remote option to cheat. If one is at the bottom, exit completely. I was thinking 'near the bottom' of the marriage. You can certainly go lower when not in the marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:03 AM
2

Because getting the side action could destroy your wife and family if you wife finds out. So would getting divorced. She would be emotionally devastated Maybe a little more than just being served divorce papers, but really, you're pretty much near the bottom at that point anyway. Plus, can she really claim to feel so hurt after emotionally devastating her partner by withholding sex and intimacy for several years? I mean, c'mon... Better to end things and cause initial pain You make it sound like…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:38 AM
2

cheaters get found out; it's not unheard of. Be smart and don't get caught. there is such a thing as an amicable split I've watched a lot of divorces. Even 'amicable splits' aren't very amicable. If I were to use my own marriage as an example? The divorce would be messy and awful regardless of how amicable we tried to make it. I don't know that cheating could make it much worse. Plus, I would think that the partner who refused sex and intimacy for several years wouldn't be that surprised to lear…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:35 AM
1

If you don't even know how to implement it then how can you know when it is being implemented? How do you know when someone is really confident if you cannot emulate those behaviors? This seems to be rambling and makes no sense. Can you try again, this time in English? You just said that RP teaches you how to build that confidence yet you say that you don't know how to how to built that confidence... RP teaches that you need confidence. Many RPers will try to advise how to accomplish that. The p…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:32 AM
1

And if you were in your 30s it's pretty unlikely that you had 'never looked so good' unless you made some massive changes from your youth. Goddamn. You honestly think I would say what I said if I was a 'balding hubby with a beer belly'? You guys are un-fucking-real. Get outta here with your massively projecting selves...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:27 AM
2

Well then at least you knew what you were getting into and definitely weren't surprised then when you didn't live up to her expectations. Huh? She told me that after I started failing, obviously. That wasn't part of the 'let's get married' pitch, FFS, lol... And at least she had realistic goals for you, unlike yours to "never change." Spoken like a true woman. You guys never cease to amaze me with your sheer brazenness. Why does that make it harder to take criticisms of AWALT seriously? Because …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:24 AM
1

Sounds about right - I've heard the k-hole can be quite unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:14 AM
1

Yes. At least until their testosterone disappears.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:08 AM
1

Yeah, you can't really understand a drug until you take it by itself. I remember the first time I did mushrooms by themselves. Totally different experience. Of course, I had had several drinks the first time I took pure MDMA. I thought I wouldn't even get the effect because of that. When I hit my roll, though, I couldn't even feel the alcohol, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 02:08 AM
1

I don't think 'just get by' is a particularly optimistic observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 10:31 PM
5

Or cheat, of course. Why should I destroy my life and the life of my family when I can just get some side action on the DL that at least attempts to fulfill that unfulfilled aspect of my being?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 09:28 PM
13

Does he have ED, refuses to do anything to address it, and refuses to be sexual in any other way with his wife? I don't know that his wife 'should be allowed to cheat', but I wouldn't be at all surprised if she did. That man would be being willfully ignorant and stubborn, and he would be bringing it upon himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 09:22 PM
1

Hence why people often say when two people who are still young but have a large age gap "what could an 18 and 30 year old possibly have in common" That statement reflects either a complete lack of experience or a refusal to think outside a very narrow box. When I started dating my wife, she had just graduated high school. I had graduated college over five years prior. After a very brief adjustment period (facilitated by lots of hot sex), any difference in commonalities based on age was negligibl…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 08:46 PM
2

What? Why? Prolonged stress - the kind you seem to be referring to here - is closely correlated to anxiety and fear, and can quickly cause depression and other mental disorders. They aren't that far apart. Needing help and being stressed are directly related. Maybe, but if you study how to combat stress, rarely do you see 'find someone who can help bear your burdens' as the primary solution. In some situations, usually short-term, yes, there are things that others can do to help ease your burden…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 08:31 PM
1

Just curious - for you, does 'alpha' mean 'dominant male at the top of the social hierarchy', or does it mean something else? Would a focus on being 'alpha' (or, at least, emulating 'alpha') actually be relevant to sexual attraction, or is it just a red herring? I don't think many people actually respect someone who has 'quick to violence' and a concern for 'disrespect' as primary characteristics, but maybe I'm looking at it wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 05:04 PM
2

No, she would love him. She apparently needs guys like that in order to stay creative and relevant, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:43 PM
1

Apparently.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:41 PM
2

If she is looking elsewhere, it would be understandable that her guy would become jealous and possessive. These things don't occur in a vacuum.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:37 PM
2

Did she tell you this? Yes. And her words also match her behavior. I literally just read a RP comment on this sub today about how men appreciate "potential" more than men do. ??? Man goes from working man. Woman goes from working woman to somehow working care provider, who keeps the house in order, keeps relationship going, takes care of kids. Man keeps working as he has worked. Gets kids who are happy and hot dinner at the end of the day. Ah, yes - the 'men are just lazy and entitled' trope. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:35 PM
1

Men are supposed to be the sensical ones. The existence of RP should definitely prove that men are by no means immune to being irrational, as it's whole purpose is to wise men up to how things actually work. I don't think women truly expect that kind of change You would be wrong in the majority of cases, IME. How many divorcees do you talk to? I've never heard that phrase until PPD. Whelp, this just helps confirm my belief that most BPers are not particularly familiar with the subject. Just how …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:17 PM
1

The last time I dated an 18-year old, I ended up marrying her, lol. I had been out of college for almost six years by the time she graduated from high school, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:12 PM
2

Like you said you're not even aware of how to execute. Because, like most things that are simple in concept, stuff like confidence is hard to implement. Telling someone to 'be confident' is next to useless unless it's followed by 'and here's how you can accomplish that.' I, for example, know that I need to be confident in life, and that my lack of confidence is killing me. I also know that I have no idea how I'm going to get my confidence back. I've been working on it for a few years now... Just…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:10 PM
1

Yeah, I've always been curious about ketamine, too. They are starting to look at it for psychiatric potential, IIRC. You'll have to report back. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:00 PM
1

I think young women do. They dream of their wedding day from a very early age. Older women, especially those who have already experienced romance and kids, seem to be more able to just get by with their cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 03:55 PM
1

Will she care you didn't grow up around the same cartoons? WTF kind of stupid-ass criteria is that? Any adult who gives two shits about which cartoons someone did or did not watch is an adult that needs bigger things to think about. I can see this being an important issue for 12-year olds, but I have no interest in 12-year olds, so I ain't worried... If you ask me, an 18 year old being with anyone significantly older is a straight up fantasy that rarely happens. Guess I lived the dream, then. Ya…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 07:46 AM
1

When I was old and getting with young girls, I didn't give a shit about whether anyone thought I was 'beta' or not. I was the one getting to have sex with hot women - if that means I was 'beta', then I'm all about being as 'beta' as I can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 07:39 AM
1

Are you saying she wanted you to become more alpha than when she married you? Of course. At that point, she was marrying me based on my potential, as I was still too young to really have accomplished much. I'll also add that the role of a wife typically demands a lot more change than that of husband. How so? Silly of a man to expect no change in a person that he expects such a different role from. Well, I think pointing out the 'silly' is the entire purpose of the adage, lol. But how does the ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 07:27 AM
2

Women bank on their young husbands becoming more mature and manly and respectable so as to better be able to 'protect and provide' for a growing family. Guys want their sweet beautiful young brides to always remain as sweet and beautiful as they are on their wedding day. Women hope men will always be improving. Men hope women will never lose what they find attractive in them. At least that's my interpretation. YMMV It may be non-sensical to you, but that phrase has been around forever for a reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 07:19 AM
2

Are you kidding me? I love being teased by women. First, all attention is good attention - I'm just happy to be interacting. Secondly, it gives me a golden opportunity to show what a fun, witty, laid-back badass I am. And on those occasions that I actually get hit with a broadside and can't recover? I'll concede with a 'well played.' Part of being a strong individual is knowing when you've been beaten and choosing which hills you are willing to die on. No woman is worth getting upset over, and I…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 05:07 AM
1

Being 'alpha' isn't just about going to the gym and 'holding frame' (though 'holding frame' is important). If it was just that, everyone could and would be 'alpha', and 'good men' would be a dime a dozen instead of hard to find. And this is a slippery concept: I cannot tell you how many women I know express this at some point. "He tells me stop stressing out... I just need his help!" Either the men start helping or they break up. A couple of things are problematic here. First, for me, this seems…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:53 AM
1

So let's look at a simple example. I assert that women find confidence sexy or, at the very least, find confidence more attractive than a lack of confidence. Are you going to question how I could possibly know that about women? If I were to tell you that, with almost no exceptions, I have never met a woman who doesn't respond to confidence (or the lack thereof) in this way, would you still think that I can't possibly know that those women prefer confidence to insecurity? Now, if I tell some guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:38 AM
3

why does a strong man need a woman? Are you seriously asking why men - any men - need women? Leaving aside the obvious high sex drive many/most men have, and the profound desire for sex that they experience because of that, women are central to a man's life and even his whole identity. Even the 'anti-marriage' crowd in TRP aren't often talking about quitting women all together. Notice how there isn't much of a female equivalent of the whole MGTOW thing. Women certainly go their own way, but it d…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:24 AM
1

I think they mean 'change for the better', lol. No one hopes someone becomes worse...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 03:09 AM
1

How does one lose his alphaness and masculinity? A whole bunch of shit lands on your head in a short period of time and you fail to be a strong leader (or any kind of strong, or any of leader) in the face of that adversity? At least, that's what happened to me. My wife and I are still the same people we were when we got married Well, if there is anything I've learned in life, the only thing that is constant in life is change. If you guys never change, that's awesome. And every mans's dream - you…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 12:34 AM
2

I totally agree with you when it comes to love that is romantic and/or includes sexual expression and intimacy/vulnerability. Which is generally the kind of love that speaks to men. A woman doesn't have to idolize in order to experience familial love - the kind of love that she has for her family/children, or the 'beta' men in her life. That kind of love, however, generally is insufficient for most men, for whom sex and sexual desire is fundamental to their experience of intimacy. It is also usu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 12:02 AM
1

This makes no sense. Humans can be generalized in all sorts of ways. There are all kinds of behavioral models that apply to broad populations and make very accurate predictions. Men are generalized all the time by feminists and everyone else. But God forbid anyone make a generalization of women that doesn't help support the very real 'Women are Wonderful' generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 11:45 PM
4

My wife is the strongest woman I know. Stronger than most people I know. All that means is that I have to be stronger than her. She, like most women, still likes to feel taken care of by the man she is with, and, like most women, wants me to be her rock when the storms hit. She doesn't need me to be and do those things, but my value and the value of our relstionship becomes a question when she feels like she has to be those things for me. What is she getting out of the relationship then? A funny…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 06:22 PM
1

Damn, lol. I got high last night and the effect was similar in ways to rolling. While I'm interested in rolling again to see what it would be like after six years of no seratonin depletion, I don't know if I have the energy for it anymore, lol... Adderall + THC is the new ecstacy for me, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 05:56 PM
1

Truly masculine men are in short supply. The numbers would indicate that your argument would have to hold true in a number of instances. Do women really prefer non-masculine men, or do they just represent the majority of men, so women just take what they can get?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 05:53 PM
2

Staying with someone is not a particularly good standard to use. My wife is still with me despite my having lost most of my 'alphaness', my masculinity. But she also isn't particularly interested in having sex with me, holds me in contempt often, is regularly disappointed and frustrated with me, etc. Yes, we still have a relationship. Yes, she still loves me. No, that doesn't mean everything is fine and working.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 05:50 PM
3

I'm even stone cold sober right now believe it or not Dafuque? What's wrong and why would you let that happen? ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 05:37 PM
5

but that RP tactics would make partners we are already attracted to less attractive. The thing I wonder is this - I'm old. I've been around a lot of people in my time. All kinds of different people from all kinds of backgrounds. I've watched hundreds of relationships play out. I've been in lots of relationships myself. I can only think of one woman in all that time for whom being RP might have been less attractive than being non-RP (funny enough, she's also the only female Redditor I know, lol).…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 05:19 PM
1

I'm extremely extro, but it was a learned behavior for me. And the learning process was painful. To this day, I can be pretty reserved for an extro. Lots of people have assumed I was an intro over the years.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 06:12 AM
1

If it's so obvious, why can't you copy and paste the whole text (instead of just two words that I apparently wrote)? Or link me to it? Oh, I know - because you are a full of shit troll. Honestly, I didn't peg you for a full troll prior to this, but you clearly have zero interest in actually debating. You just want to troll anyone with a red flair. What you said I wrote (with no ability to back up your claim, of course - true to your blooper roots) is completely antithetical to how I see things. …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 03:00 AM
1

This is your 'quote': "women do find men sexually attractive unless they command them" The problem is, I did not write those words anywhere in my responses. And I'm pretty sure I would not have written those words anywhere at any time, because they are seemingly incomprehensible and ridiculous. So don't tell me you quoted me. You made that shit up and then proceeded to mock me using the shit that you pulled out of your ass. Typical troll move.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 02:09 AM
1

And you think comparing children's experience of romantic infatuation to adult romantic infatuation is accurate how?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 12:16 AM
1

Copy and paste or permalink my response or you are totally full of shit. Fucking trolls...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 11:53 PM
1

why even Google admits Who is this 'Google' who is admitting this, and why should I trust this Google over respected experts? You mean a Google search sometimes returns results that purport that sexual attraction is separate from romantic attraction? Okay - how is that 'evidence'? And why is it that these abnormal outliers come to dominate these conversations? Do asexuals have different mating habits? Clearly. That doesn't change human sexual behavior for the vast majority of the population, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 11:52 PM
1

Where the fuck are you finding that quote? It's not from me. I defy you to copy and paste that from any of my responses. You can't, because it is not a quote. So either you have zero reading comprehension, you are paying zero attention to what is written, or you are being purposefully as dense as a box of hammers in order to order to troll. Fuck off, troll...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 11:06 PM
1

So, the relationship experts are all wrong? Look, I'm more than happy to acknowledge those things that are more specific or unique to my experience (and there are several). This is not one of them. Additionally, asexuals are not the subject of most romance/sex research or advice, so I have no idea what point there is to bringing them up. Show me research regarding the feelings of limerance and romance experiences by asexuals and how it differs from heteronormative individuals and we can discuss,…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 11:01 PM
1

Are you proposing that this is quoting me? women aren't sexually attracted to men unless they "command them" Even the two words you put in direct quotes I didn't write. WTF is going on over there?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 08:52 PM
1

"Commanding respect" is wholly separate from commanding a person, and is the only way that respect comes about. Surely you can't be so obtuse as to not understand that (which I doubt you are - you just took any cheap shot available). Also your entire last paragraph about your wife "not understanding" her sexuality like you so.... just lol. This is one of those 'don't listen to what they say; watch what they do.' People often fail to see that what they are actually doing is different from what th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 08:50 PM
1

Where on earth did I write that? What kind of bullshit are you attributing to me? I wrote nothing of the sort - you're grasping at strawmen. :smh:
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 07:05 PM
1

WTF? Romance, limerance, and sex are all the same. Relationship experts agree on this and call it 'the honeymoon phase', and distinguish it as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 06:40 PM
1

Where am I assuming here, lol? What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 06:38 PM
1

It didn't say anywhere that women were the ones unsatisfied with the arrangement. Most men don't have to read that the women are the ones unsatisfied with the arrangement. They know from experience that they are. This reminds me of the TED talk that Brene Brown gave on shame. She recounts how she was taken to task by a man regarding her assertions about the importance of vulnerability. He enlightened her to the fact that it's not the concern for what other men will think if a man is vulnerable, …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 05:14 PM
1

I find it interesting that 'personality' was the measure by which men and women were compared for, say, emotional stability. I don't think that is a good measure at all. It doesn't account for the sorts of emotional differences that really impact sexual dynamics, like how men and women differ in competition30663-7), how women stay angry longer after arguments, how tears reduce a man's aggression, and dozens of other differences (maternal instincts, nesting instincts, the criteria women use in as…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 04:26 PM
3

I'd guess that the reason you haven't met any attractive women who haven't dabbled in casual sex is because you have casual sex yourself. This presumes that every woman I know is like me. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been friends with loads of women with whom there was no mutual sexual attraction for whatever reason (often because we're so different), and there is no common thread amongst the women I've had sex with (some were liberal, some conservative, some religious, some p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 04:18 AM
3

That doesn't negate my point that there are women who need both They need to feel both. The jury is out as to whether they actually have both before going through with the sex thing. If I had one 'superpower' in this area, it was my ability to make women feel safe and comfortable right away. I was better at it than most men, I think (as a side note, my challenge was always to generate some mystery/danger/insecurity/thrill - that stuff I had to do more consciously, or at least, reliably). And whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 02:08 AM
2

I feel like the skill to manipulate people comes from a deep understanding of the social playing field, which is a beta trait. I don't know about that. Why do you think understanding the social playing field would necessarily be a 'beta' trait? My private nickname for my friend was 'evil' (few others would ever have understood why I would want to call him that, so it wasn't a public thing). He was masterful when it came to socializing and manipulating others. Everyone adored him, and thought he …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 01:56 AM
2

I think that men share the same dualistic mating strategy, so 'madonna/whore' is entirely relevant. The ol' lady in streets/harlot in the sheets thing. I think that how men execute on that dualistic mating strategy differs a lot, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 01:42 AM
2

'Dark Triad' types are often considered quintessentially 'alpha.' Plenty of 'Dark Triad' types rely on 'soft power' rather than 'hard power.' I suspect that the Chadliest Chad I've ever known was actually a sociopath. His ability to charm and seduce and manipulate anyone and everyone was seriously unreal. He never ever got violent or threatening or angry, probably because he didn't need to do so. And he was the opposite of intimidating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 12:57 AM
2

And I seriously doubt that religious "high quality women" will look the other way at a 40+ N count. They may not think to ask (or she won't find out) until she is already convinced of his value for a relationship. I've never once had a woman ask me my n-count early on. If it ever came up, it was far enough into the relationship such that it wasn't going to change anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 12:49 AM
2

In this case, I would see 'pure beta' as equivalent to 'doormat' - someone who is accommodating, non-confrontational, and cooperative. While people actually can and do appreciate those sorts of people, they do not generally respect them or take them particularly seriously. I would say that, in life, sociopaths/bullies (pure alpha?) get farther than doormats, even if they don't get as far as someone who supports their aggressiveness/assertiveness/ambition with reciprocity and other pro-social beh…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 12:27 AM
2

Cooperation does not provide social status, otherwise 'doormats' would be more respected, as they tend to be very cooperative. Leadership + cooperation is what gives someone respect/status.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 12:08 AM
2

What do you mean by only thing in life? This answers the question: He doesn't work, he's disabled, and besides his nerdy hobbies, it basically is what he does. So that is unusual, IME. I'm thinking that maybe his disability is what allows for respect? I know that, for myself and most SAHDs that I know (I know of no 'house husbands'), being a domestic doesn't generate much respect from either women or men. A lot of people will ask 'Okay, but what do you do?' (my wife will ask, 'but what else are …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 11:24 PM
4

which a lot of guys here want to do for some reason. They may have experienced, as I have, that women who are all worked up and aroused by a man such that they desire sex with him will 'hamster' and/or project most of the 'comfort' qualities necessary for sex onto that man. His actual levels of those qualities are less important than their ability to convince themselves that he has them. I've seen it so many times - new hookup, she's all twitterpated at the prospect of having sex with me (man, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 11:15 PM
3

This is just a bizarre list of arguments. I fail to see their applicability to the current discussion (or even their internal logic), so I'm not sure how to even respond, but maybe I'll give it more thought later. Example: You ignore the way romantic chemistry can become sexual chemistry. I don't know why you think I 'ignore that', but I would say that, for most people, 'romantic chemistry' and 'sexual chemistry' are the same damned thing. I see no difference between the two, and I've never seen…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:49 PM
5

alpha physical protection can be comforting Yes, but the comfort aspect is a result of said protector's beta qualities. The ability to provide physical protection is the 'alpha' trait; the actual desire to do so for a woman is the 'beta' trait. beta status Again, this occurs for me as an oxymoron. Can men with a lot of 'beta' qualities have status? Of course. But their 'beta' qualities aren't what gave them their status. They had to establish 'dominance' in some way, they had to command respect …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:45 PM
2

I took hawt to mean physically attractive. Well, I'm not a 'lookist' - I think that sexual arousal in women requires much more than just looks (though looks are certainly a key factor).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:37 PM
5

Well, many sexologists disagree with you. It is fairly widely accepted that humans have a dualistic mating strategy, and that the qualities/traits that fulfill the two different aspects of that strategy are distinct from each other. There are traits that make someone aroused and others that don't (or that even kill off arousal), so I guess the question is - which are which?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:34 PM
2

Why can't the SAHD be 'hawt'. Because And what he does determines if he is respectable or not, not the other way around You said it yourself. SAHDs often get lip-service respect (same as SAHMs, though SAHMs are generally more respected than SAHDs), but the reality is that they aren't respected unless they are '(insert cool masculine thing) and a SAHD.' I came to see this clearly when I was spending a lot of time looking at accounts of other SAHDs. In almost every single instance, the profile of …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:30 PM
7

'Alpha traits' are what provoke lust/desire/sexual attraction. Humans have a dualistic mating strategy, so of course women want more than 'only alpha traits', especially if they are actually looking to 'mate' (those who are less interested in relationships likely only want 'alpha' traits). But they only want to fuck 'alpha' traits. Beta traits are for comfort and security - they, in and of themselves, don't inspire sexual desire (even if they can help facilitate it in some instances).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:14 PM
3

Most TRPers are looking for sex, period, whether casual or within a relationship, and towards that end, they focus on 'alpha' qualities (especially since those are the most difficult to come by, at least in this day and age). Again, RP isn't meant for 'omegas' who have neither alpha nor beta traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 10:06 PM
2

My partner is a house husband, and I certainly respect him more than most men. Is his only thing in life being a 'house husband'?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:57 PM
2

I would probably agree with that, though their ability to instill fear probably makes up for some of the lacking beta traits...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:56 PM
3

My point was that you might still respect and be turned on by a high-powered businessman or creative type who can't cook. In fact, you might have more respect for that type of man than an 'average Joe' who can cook. And with respect comes attraction and being 'turned-on.' The reason that I take pains to point that out is that guys like me see what you wrote and say, 'Oh cool! I'm a great cook (and good with kids, and 'nice', and whatever else) - I'm the kind of guy women are looking for and want…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:54 PM
3

I still don't see how that relates? How do I see 'beta intimacy', other than providing comfort and security?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:49 PM
3

I know RP likes generalizations, but not everyone wants the exact same thing in a partner. The 'RP generalization' is that it takes a mix/balance of alpha/beta traits to make a successful LTR. I don't think your taking a contrarian position.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:48 PM
5

There are various ways to make one's way to 'the top.' The heads of major drug cartels/crime organizations/global corporations are usually short on beta traits, yet they command a lot of respect through the power they wield and the fear they instill in others. I'm not saying that is somehow more optimal than other routes (like the HA/HB 'leader of men'), but it still works.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:38 PM
2

What does that quote have to do with the topic at hand? She's admonishing 'beta' behavior there, for sure, but I'm fail to see how that is a rebuttal to what I wrote.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:35 PM
4

But your not wrong, a low alpha / high beta does have a lot to overcome to maintain a successful relationship. I think that it has less to overcome than a high alpha/low beta does, if the woman is prioritizing a LTR. It's getting into that relationship in the first place (as well as, yes, keeping it alive over time) that's the tougher part for the LA/HB. While he is going to have to increase his 'alpha' at some point, the comfort and security is going to go a long way towards keeping the relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:34 PM
3

What does that quote have to do with the topic at hand? She's admonishing 'beta' behavior there, but I'm not sure that it's a rebuttal to what I wrote at all. If anything, it's talking about the need for 'uncomfort' in a relationship...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:30 PM
3

While I agree wholeheartedly that respect and sexual attraction go hand in hand for women (they can't be separated), I would say that 'respect' is the key, not what he does to generate that respect. If a guy was a great cook, but had little else going for him in life, I doubt that you would still respect him and see him as sexy. I guarantee you that some high-powered businessman or artist/musician/creative who can't make a grilled cheese will still be more sexually attractive than a guy who has …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:24 PM
5

I am excited by his high status. I know LC also addressed this, but 'high status' is 'alpha' by the very definition of 'alpha' (top of the social hierarchy, the 'dominant male'). And I will say that the experience of 'excitement' is an inherently 'alpha' thing. That's why 'low alphas/high betas' are seen as soooooo nice and loving and wonderful but also soooooo boring. That's why 'Beta Bob the accountant' is such an archetype for betas - he's responsible, stable, predictable, trustworthy...but n…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:18 PM
3

Low Alpha / High Beta: This is the target audience of TRP. They can usually get sex on the condition of a relationship with a middling to high quality woman. Maybe the occasional NSA sex with a low quality woman. These men boon either early in life by locking down a high school sweetheart, or later in life when he hits his career strides and once again get attention from young marriage minded women. While I don't entirely disagree, the problem with this is that all of the traits that make him 'h…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:12 PM
6

Ester Parel would fully agree with him, and I trust her expert analysis based on years of experience over the random BPers opinion. Just saying'...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:00 PM
2

It's hard to separate what is 'nature' and what is 'nurture', and I would say that they both reinforce each other. The 'biological programming' bit really came into play first when my wife's biological clock started screaming, then when she was pregnant, then when we had a kid. Two things stand out (out of many, many unique phenomenon) - the 'nesting instinct' really becomes prominent once women become pregnant/mothers, and while that isn't always a bad thing, it can really cause problems if she…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 10:16 PM
2

The answer to that question would be very long. So much is different. Different outlooks, focus, priorities, expectations - a whole different paradigm, really. Very different biological programming and resulting behavior. Huge hormonal differences. The list is long. When my wife and many of my friends became mothers, they almost became different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:59 PM
2

If they are like I was (and am now again), it's very possible they are average but lack critical 'game' skills and are afraid of rejection. Growing up, I was always considered 'cute' and sometimes even 'handsome' (as I got older). I just had a very hard time parlaying that into getting dates/girlfriends, and spent most of my time in 'the friendzone.' Even today, I still hear from women who tell me, "when I first met you, I totally would have hooked up with you, but you didn't seem interested, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:55 PM
3

Since that is literally the first time I've seen a picture of Lena Dunham, I can only judge her on her face, but I would say she is definitely average or even a bit above-average. The dude, though, is below average, as far as I can tell. He would have a hard time finding a date where I live. Definitely not with anyone who looks like Lena...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:48 PM
2

I will definitely allow that older women, physically unattractive women (significantly overweight), and women with kids have a much harder time (though certainly not an incel-level hard time). It's exceptionally rare that I meet a childless, HWP/attractive woman under the age of ~35 who is single (unless she just broke up with her boyfriend). Even the middle-aged divorcees with kids aren't often single, but they are certainly not doing quite as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:42 PM
2

You should just date people and see where it goes. I think people struggling to get a girlfriend will also be struggling to get a date. When I was younger, I wanted a girlfriend, but just getting a date was hard. I get the feeling the same would happen today. I know precious few single women. The one's I do know are some combination of: massively overweight, middle-aged divorcees (often with kids), and single moms. All of my female friends who are at least relatively physically attractive (HWP, …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:31 PM
2

Depends on the age of the woman. Younger women are in much higher demand than older women, and are pursued by (and receptive to) men of all ages. A smaller percentage of women are therefore being pursued by a larger percentage of men, hence the increased competition and skewed numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:08 AM
2

The older I get, the more I think that sexual dimorphism is, if anything, understated rather than overstated. Becoming a parent challenged a lot of my previous views on the differences between men and women. I was much more likely to understate the differences prior to going through that process.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 02:11 AM
4

Or believing that every guy should be a player by the time they're 25. This I question. As a parent, and as someone who has known a lot of parents, I don't think any parent hopes their son grows up to be a 'player.' They almost always want him to become a responsible adult who meets a nice girl and settles down. I don't know that any parent wants to think about their kid having sex, anymore than any kid wants to think about their parent having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:52 AM
2

I literally do the 'manly' stuff they either cannot or will not do because I'm a man and they are women. My wife often plays the '...but I'm a woman!' or the '...but you're a guy!' card, as do a lot of my friends, most all of whom are 'progressives' and 'strong, independent women.'
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:33 AM
1

Facts are not sexism. It is not a fact that all men are stronger than all women, or that all women are more empathetic than men. That would be a stereotype (and an unfounded one, in the second case). Neither sex is more empathetic than the other as a rule. Women self-report higher levels of empathy than they actually have, and men self-report lower levels of empathy than they actually have, but the empathetic response is roughly the same for both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:00 AM
2

so essentially any amount of sexism will have a negative consequence on one gender. Could have a positive consequence, though, too. My wife and female friends certainly benefit from my sexism in ways my male friends do not. I'm not sure they would want me to stop being sexist...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 12:57 AM
3

I would say that a belief in gender differences is going to result in either prejudice, or stereotyping, or discrimination, or some combination of the three. The idea that 'women are like X and men are like Y' or that 'women are different from men in X ways' is inherently stereotypical, and will for sure lead to certain prejudices and discriminations (you don't call your female friends when you need help working on your car, for example, or you don't call up your guy friends when you are excited…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 12:55 AM
2

Sexism is the word used to describe prejudice, stereotyping or discrimination against a gender I would think this would have to be, in practice, inherently gender neutral, wouldn't it? Someone who views one gender through prejudice, or stereotyping, or discrimination would automatically have to view the other gender in a similar, perhaps opposite, way, wouldn't they? Sexism is a view that requires a contrast/comparison. If someone sees women as 'the weaker sex', they would have to view men as 't…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 12:45 AM
2

Man, I didn't do a lot of coyote fucks, but even the three or four I did have were three or four too many. :shudder: I used to call them my 'demonic possessions' - I take no responsibility, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 08:36 PM
2

Casual sex partners cared. My wife didn't really care either way (though I'm sure that keeping my nether regions smooth was appreciated).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 08:39 PM
1

As of now, people with drug addictions are considered victims I don't know where this might be true, but in most places in the US, most drug users are considered criminals, not victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 03:01 PM
2

It's not a common thing for any women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 02:58 PM
1

Plus airbrushing in the actual sex act leads to even more unrealism to the point some will be grossed out or not satisfied with normal sex. This I gotta see, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 02:56 PM
1

Waxed chests don't exactly feel good. The back is usually fine, but I had to take pain killers prior to waxing my chest and upper pubes...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 02:52 PM
1

I'm kinda thinking that, if the guy is rough and tough and rugged enough, she may overlook the dirty fingernails and grease on his hands. I know for a fact that women will tolerate/overlook anything and everything if they are turned on enough. Fortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 05:33 AM
1

the idea of being touched by a guy with dirty fingernails and grease on his hands is kind of gross. Yeah, I'm not sure that that is part of the turn on, lol. But I'll check with my wife...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 03:55 AM
3

The key - and when I say key I really do mean THE KEY - to even nuclear dread is that it isn't about her. It is about him and his needs. That's what keeps it from being seen as 'manipulative'. He's not self-conscious, he's not playing games, he's not bluffing, there is no passive-aggressiveness to it, he has just gotten to the point where he respects himself and his needs enough that he won't put up with the neglect any more. Before I ever learned about 'dread game', I inadvertently ran 'nuclear…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 12:18 AM
1

it's about variety and romanticization. While you are not wrong, and while women can fantasize about the baller in the suit as well as the salty blue collar dude both, I would say that the appeal of the 'blue collar' guys goes beyond just 'variety.' I firmly believe that women respect and are attracted to 'manly men' - the resourceful guys who can fix anything, lift anything, aren't afraid of getting sweaty and dirty, know how to use tools, solve problems, etc. That stuff is quintessential mascu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 12:07 AM
1

They also want to tie it to 'emotional abuse' or intimidation or some other such meanness. If you are doing it right, it's definitely not that. Perhaps at the very highest levels (nuclear dread), but even then, it still doesn't work exactly the way that most people assume it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 11:59 PM
3

They also don't understand what gives it it's power. Honestly, most people of both 'pills' fail to get that 'dread game' often works in counter-intuitive ways. They are so focused on the trees they miss the forest.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:36 PM
3

I would say quite a few could have been solved early on by growing a pair and making your wants known. That only works if you are already attractive. If the wife has lost attraction, all putting your foot down will do is make you less attractive and (possibly) make her realize that she doesn't want to or need to put up with that hassle and that she should bail...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:33 PM
1

Well, yeah, but the fact that all men 'suffer' from that, I would think that would make it a wash when it comes to someone being more/less attractive. IOW, women might prefer a fireman snoring on the couch to an office worker snoring on the couch.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:27 PM
1

It's a different story when you see them snoring on the couch of the stinky fire station, bored out of their minds. That would be true for anyone, would it not? I'm not sure that specifically makes a difference. Guys in suits also have a pretty broad appeal - just look at 50 Shades. Yes, you are right. Expensive suits, at least. That wasn't my best comparison, lol. :smh: I probably should have just used 'the average office worker', even a cute one. Guys who look like ballers generally get treate…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:04 PM
2

So, even if I was the only blue posting here, you're already facing an uphill battle with your AWALT. I absolutely believe that there are exceptions out there. I would say that most people aren't out there working the scene while combating PTSD and a fear of sex. I mean, yeah, I had a fear of sex, too, when I was first starting out (which was good, in that that fear went a long way towards teaching me what works and what doesn't), but I don't know that that many people hold on to their fear once…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 10:02 PM
2

That is a very strange reading of all of it. Somehow I think confirmation bias might be at play some... I've been mostly beta. I've been beta with a lot of alpha on top of it. The difference in experience between the two is extraordinary. There is no mistaking, in my mind, what works with every woman I ever came in contact with and what doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 07:51 PM
6

Easy on the shaming...I like to fuck bareback, too, lol. I ain't Catholic...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 05:48 PM
1

In a big way, for sure. I'll never forget the first time my wife went off BC, lol... And it has wider impacts than just that. My wife called them her 'anti-crazy' pills - she definitely had episodes of crazy once a month when she wasn't on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 05:22 PM
2

Your first linked thread discussion is anything but binary. Now I'm confused - what do you mean by 'AF/BB is literally black and white'? In my world, AF/BB is literally AF/BB, don't know about any lack of color...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 05:18 PM
1

I'm talking about a different alternative: minimizing negative feminine qualities while integrating positive masculine qualities, as I said in my other reply to you. Okay, that's great. It's also relatively rare, and probably not what everyone is referring to when they bash 'masculine' women. I mean, I'm not quite as strident as those posters you are undoubtedly referring to, but I totally get it about 'masculine' women. Women who incorporate positive masculine qualities while retaining positive…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 11:44 PM
1

Goes right against the concept of hypergamy to be attracted to someone with less power, lower social standing due to lack of education etc. But it goes right with the concept when it comes to 'masculinity' and 'genetic fitness' and 'independence' and 'strength.' And my wife would never in a million years think of marrying a guy like that. If she had her druthers, though, I'm guessing those are the guys she would always fuck. Them and firefighters and special forces soldiers. AF/BB in da house.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 10:36 PM
2

I don't know. My wife is a white-collar professional, as am (was) I. That's our whole community and social circle, for the most part. Definitely MC-UMC. She fantasizes about 'blue-collar' guys all the time, and I don't think she's alone (look at the popularity of firefighters amongst women). She's unlikely to give a man in a suit walking down the sidewalk a second glance. But she'll drool over the rough guy wearing old jeans, a tool belt, and a shirt covered in paint/dirt/sawdust/whatever. From …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 10:26 PM
1

What's confusing is that they say the love femininity so much but then talk negatively about the majority of feminine behaviors, meanwhile saying a "unicorn" is someone who does not exhibit said feminine behaviors. They talk negatively about the majority of negative feminine behaviors. And they talk mostly about negative feminine behaviors, so their discussion of women is mostly negative. I don't know that you can draw the conclusion from that that they don't like any feminine behaviors. And yes…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 10:18 PM
2

You disagree with TRP's view of femininity and that it includes a changing sex drive, self-centeredness and solipsism, emotion-driven thinking, gossiping, nagging etc? There is a difference between 'includes' and 'is.' I think that women can and do have those negative feminine qualities. I don't think those qualities are comprehensive of what it is to be feminine. If those 'negative' feminine qualities (I hesitate to get too far into moralistic judgements here) are balanced by equivalent 'positi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 09:48 PM
1

Again, using that reasoning, BPD women should be the most attractive, should they not? And, again, 'masculine' women doesn't mean women who have some masculine qualities. 'Masculine' women are more characterized by a lack of feminine qualities than the presence of masculine qualities. If you have positive, healthy feminine qualities, and add to that positive, healthy masculine qualities, then you have a very self-actualized and powerful person. That's not how it usually plays out (though it cert…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 09:39 PM
1

The problem I have with this is the false equivalence created by 'gay bath house' or 'judy garland park.' Women are rarely, if ever, in the hetero version of a gay bath house or judy garland park. She would have to be visiting sex clubs or something. A better comparison, to my mind, would be something less extreme, like maybe a gay bar or a gay pride parade. Maybe a circuit party (though those can get overtly sexual pretty fast).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 09:22 PM
1

Yeah, but I still maintain that a normal balance is still most attractive. It all comes down to health - more than anything else, humans are programmed to respond to markers of health. The healthiest women, or women whom men perceive as most healthy, will be the most attractive (and vice versa). I've heard it said (can't remember where - might not even have been related to RP) that BPD is a form of 'extreme femininity.' I don't know that anyone finds that kind of 'extreme femininity' attractive,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 09:18 PM
1

Not one of those guys, but if I had to guess, it would probably be that they are seeing women as eschewing the more positive (from a man's perspective) feminine traits and taking on (or attempting to take on) more masculine traits, or trying to be more like men, and winding up being kind of the worst of both worlds. Women make shitty men when they try to be men (a viewpoint I agree with), so they aren't really integrating those all that well while at the same time repressing or expunging those f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 09:15 PM
1

You are scientifically accurate in your assessment, lol. My point is that, just because some of something is good doesn't mean more of that something will be better. There is a law of diminishing returns to point, and after that there is 'imbalanced' or 'unnatural.'
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 07:33 PM
1

Having those traits wouldn't make a woman inherently masculine, even if they are masculine trails (which is debatable). My wife is fairly tomboy-ish and 'male-brained' in some ways, but her whole sex appeal has always been based on being very feminine (in addition to being physically attractive).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 07:31 PM
2

Oh fuck no, lol. At bars there is as at least plausible deniability about one's sexual interest (both gay and straight bars). Those places you only go if you are going to have sex (or, at least, are wanting to have sex). I have a lot of gay/bi friends - I get to hear all about the scene, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 07:25 PM
1

Right - seems like a kind of arbitrary distinction, but whatever. I mean, that's most girls for me as well. 'Might bang' just means it's their game to lose. I'll pursue them (or let them pursue me) and see if there is any chemistry at all to work with. I usually need some chemistry to bang, otherwise prostitutes would be a viable option sometimes. (Interestingly enough, before I gave up on sex completely, I actually went through a phase where, for the first time in my life, the idea of an attrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 07:22 PM
2

Fair enough, but the OP specified 'gay bath house' and 'judy garland park', and that's a whole different scene, lol. That would be akin to a woman in a sex club, and I can see how that would be particularly unpleasant...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 03:07 AM
3

Oh, I've done that. It's kinda fun, as long as everyone kept their hands to themselves. Everyone buys me drinks and compliments me and is sooo interested in hearing what I have to say, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 02:52 AM
1

What about the women who say that they can't find any man attractive until they've been friends for X amount of time?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 02:48 AM
1

That's the origin of the whole "she knows within 30 seconds of meeting you if she's going to sleep with you" saying. Man, there are so very much two opposite schools of thought on this - the 'in 30 seconds or it's not happening' school and the 'I didn't even think he was cute until we hung out for a year' school. I personally think most women operate from both, but what do I know...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 02:47 AM
1

You've never had a guy you've rejected get nasty? Make you fear for your safety, even in a public venue? My wife is attractive and gets hit on fairly often, especially when she was younger and spending a lot of weekends on dance floors as 'the DJ's girl.' 90% of guys she rejects were super polite about it. 10% were drunk cretins who would just try to get up close and rub up on her or something, and she would vehemently express her displeasure, and one of the two of them would move somewhere else…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 02:42 AM
1

Guys routinely say if it weren't for their sexual attraction to women they'd want nothing to do with them, as they make bad friends, have lame interests, aren't funny, etc. 95% of what I read (especially from non-MGTOWs) does not say that they want nothing more than a warm hole from women. What they say is that they want nothing more than a warm hole from 'modern women' or 'western women' or 'masculinized women' or something of that nature (which are really all kind of interchangeable, from my r…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 12:08 AM
1

How? Does a guy taking T to the point that his balls shrivel the apex of 'masculine' then?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 12:01 AM
2

So I don't think fragility is feminine. It has been fashionable for women to be fragile from time to time in various cultures around the world, but, again, what's fashionable for women doesn't necessarily equate to 'feminine.'
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 12:01 AM
1

Sorry, yes, I get the effects of standard estrogen levels on females (there are many, and some of them are enormous). What I'm not understanding is how 'moar estrogen!' can somehow make a woman 'moar feminine!' I don't think it works like that. I don't think that above-average levels of estrogen somehow make a woman more of a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 10:33 PM
1

It's BOTH genders fault. That's cold comfort. And, again, if monogamy is the number one thing men can do to be attractive, it shouldn't be happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 09:41 PM
1

I'm not arguing that most men (at least, RP men, but I find it is pretty widely true) prefer submissive women. Feminists have redefined submissive so that it means 'weak' and 'inferior' and bad and wrong. That doesn't mean that is what submissive is, nor does it mean that men want that strawman of 'submission.'
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 09:40 PM
1

<sup>what</sup> <sup>is</sup> <sup>the</sup> <sup>secret</sup> <sup>you</sup> <sup>wanted</sup> <sup>to</sup> <sup>tell?</sup> <sup>I</sup> <sup>promise</sup> <sup>not</sup> <sup>to</sup> <sup>tell</sup> <sup>anyone</sup> <sup>else...</sup>
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 09:37 PM
1

but she's nowhere near my feminine idea Same I can imagine a lot of girls who are attracted to angular faces thinking she's what men want. Probably
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 09:36 PM
1

why are we whispering? are we telling secrets? can you tell me the secret to making the text that small?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:43 PM
1

Sarcastic. I can hardly take seriously anyone who dismisses ontological examinations as insubstantial projections. Unless they have some very solid argument as to why ontology should not be considered 'real.'
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:41 PM
2

You did not link a study I did, back at the top. Why do women lose interest in sex as the relationship progresses? If monogamy is such a turn-on, they should become more interested in sex. Ask any married person if their sex life is still as hot and passionate as it was during the honeymoon - most of them will laugh and say, "Of course not!" Goddamn but women are clueless about what they respond to... The link didn't copy, but you can still go up and click it. But when it comes down to it, most …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:37 PM
1

You want me to just type it out again, only under my username, lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:29 PM
1

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:29 PM
1

TIL that ontology and the discussions thereof are projections and not real, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:28 PM
2

and that is something that women very rarely did a few short decades ago. It is also something that men rarely did more than a few short decades ago. Remember Shawn Connery was a competitive bodybuilder when he started out, lol. At least IIRC he was competitive - 'bodybuilder' was definitely his category. tastes have shifted in favor of less traditionally feminine women: hard bodies, sports fans, "low maintenance," etc. are common preferences. Femininity and masculinity do not change with tastes…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:27 PM
1

I thought you had your boy toys and your friends and you liked that?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 08:24 PM
1

Its still nice and misognystic too "women are like annoying little brats thats why I love them". Hahahaha...yep. I can have my cake and rustle jimmies about it, too! Woot!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:50 PM
1

Think about the women you know who are complaining that their shyness is what is making the incel and assess? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:47 PM
1

Attractive bodies have always been A) healthy and B) a vehicle for displaying status. What is seen as 'healthy' and 'high status' depends on the circumstances at the time. Fitness is new because the need for fitness regimes to maintain health is also new. Fitness has always been seen as superior (Survival of the Fittest).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:46 PM
1

Most sex happens inside of a monogamous relationship....... If you're an attractive person trying to hook up outside of a monogamous relationship, you might have sex 1-2 a month. If you're in a relationship, you're going to be having sex 1-2 a week. I forget the exact statistics I've seen linked here, but it's something like only 1% of single people are having sex once a week, while 50% of married people are having sex once a week. What does this have to do with the nature of sexual attractivene…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:33 PM
1

I think that you are still thinking quantitatively rather than qualitatively about the subject. Masculinity and femininity are ontological in nature. Looking at a picture or public personae provides a very limited view. That said, a lot of the characters Marilyn Monroe played aligned with both archetypical and 'extreme' femininity in a lot of ways. I have absolutely no idea what Serena Williams is like as a person, so I have no idea what balance of masculine and feminine qualities she expresses.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:24 PM
1

This is the part where I could make reference to solipsism, but my glass house suggests that I shouldn't, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:16 PM
1

You didn't even say you were shy. I literally didn't know that you considered yourself awkward and shy. You were the one saying that you laugh a lot, get giggly, and keep boytoys around 'cause that's what you like. Doesn't sound awkward or shy, or like you're struggling much... :shrug:
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:37 PM
1

Where did you bring up being awkward?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:21 PM
1

Feminine archetypes have existed in a fairly static state since the beginning of time. Same as masculine archetypes. Those are usually what are being referrred to when discussing masculinity and femininity, and those archetypes are what I'm referring to I've been meaning to make a post about this, because everyone around here, for all their interest in 'sexual dynamics', seems to have little knowledge of the archetypes and their significance (this ignorance shows up a lot when it comes to discus…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:19 PM
1

O_o Everything isn't always about you, sweetie. Sometimes I'm actually just discussing ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:11 PM
2

I bet they'd be working their asses off trying to get me to like them. I probably would never eat so well, lol... Seriously, though - I've had my share of 'orbiters' in life. I'm totally serious when I say that they really are awesome and have given me a lot of help over the years. I totes get why women like to collect them as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:09 PM
2

I see a lot of guys both here and IRL complaining about them. And women complain endlessly about men and what they do. People like to complain. C'est la vie. I get turned on by femininity, so I like feminine women. And, as with every single other thing in life, I take the bad with the good, because that's how it works. I think a lot of the bitching about women on TRP (and Reddit in general) comes from MGTOWs (who are desperately trying to distance themselves from women) and incels (who are despe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:04 PM
1

But how does 'more estrogen' make a woman 'more feminine'?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:56 PM
2

I can back that up (and would, lol). Not exactly my type, but those chicks are definitely hotter than skinny flat model chicks...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:51 PM
1

She is not as hot or as feminine-looking as Megan Fox, as far as I'm concerned...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:48 PM
2

fucking Ilsa She Wolf of the SS pic, and I'm not attracted Hahahaha...word. I mean, I would totally fuck her if she made herself available (several times, most likely), but I wouldn't waste my time approaching her...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:45 PM
1

JLH was hot af back in the day. IIRC, she was a regular on my Top 5 list...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:41 PM
1

Why is 'highest estrogen level' considered the ideal state for a woman? Sounds like an imbalance to me. Like men who take too much T without enough estrogen and wind up with shriveled balls and grotesque features...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:37 PM
3

a lot of men also like really fit women, the kind who put in work in the weight room, which is a really masculine trait. Bullshit. Do you think our ancestral mothers were all limp and out of shape? Humans are meant to be strong and fit. There is nothing 'masculine' about being strong and fit. Are men naturally stronger than women? Yes. Does that mean women are supposed to be weak? No. And the latest fashion trends do not make women feminine. Men used to wear makeup, too - makeup has no more to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:36 PM
2

No shit. This is the one reason why I've always been against feminism. Everything else is usually a matter of politics, but the attitudes shown here - that femininity is inherently weak and inferior and that masculinity is both preferable and rigid to type - is the fucking tragedy of feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:29 PM
3

don't want feminine (as defined as weak and submissive) Feminists defined femininity as weak and 'submissive' (submissive here equating to being a doormat, irresolute, timid, etc., which is a strawman description of submissiveness), not men. So yeah, you're totally right - men don't like the feminist strawman of femininity. That doesn't mean that they don't like feminine women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:24 PM
3

There are good feminine traits and bad feminine traits, and everyone likes the former and dislikes the latter (including most women) - what's your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:16 PM
1

When I think of 'femininity', I think of qualities, not physiological attributes or hormonal fluctuations. That said, the 'highly feminine face' is more attractive to me than the 'mixed-features' face, though neither are particularly attractive. And I'm not seeing how the one body type is somehow 'more feminine' than the other. Having a hormone imbalance towards estrogen doesn't make someone 'more feminine', it means they might have a health problem. '100% estrogen' is not 'most feminine.'
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:14 PM
1

I wasn't writing about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 04:56 PM
2

Women who are shy still get plenty of attention if they are hot/high-value. I've never known a hot woman who is so shy that men aren't still interested in her. Many men think shy hot women are the bomb (hot librarian fantasy, anyone?). Perhaps a woman who blames her lack of attention on shyness should be looking at her actual attractiveness instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 04:11 PM
2

Even I would probably feel spoiled, 'cause I will always enjoy the attention and all the effort they would make to get me to like them. I wouldn't have sex with them or anything, but I would totally take advantage of what they offer. Honestly, that happens IRL, too. I've had 'ugly ass women' do all kinds of cool shit for me. I totally appreciate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 04:06 PM
1

Then why say it is the 'most attractive quality' when it literally makes no difference to someone unattractive? Muscles, money, sense of humor, confidence, charisma, you name it - all of those can make a '2' a '6' (or whatever). Those qualities are inherently attractive in and of themselves - no qualifiers needed. A '6' who offers monogamy is still just a '6', but a '6' that women would find acceptable for a relationship. And if they found that '6' hot, they still might fuck him anyway, with or …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 03:57 PM
2

I neg all the time (or, at least, used to back when I had some game left). I know exactly what negs are and how they work, and the beauty is, I didn't even know there was a name for what I was doing until a couple years ago. Now I still do it from time to time (I can't help it - it's just so fun), but even now, I still don't realize I'm 'negging' until after the fact. I have yet to see an accurate, specific example of negging brought up on this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:45 AM
1

Now I'm interested. Where, exactly, is this happening? Where are these isolated groups of women or (more disturbingly) one woman where there are no other men in the vicinity except one creepy loser who accosts them? Sounds like you have a curious social life for sure...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:41 AM
3

I literally spent ten years worth of weekends in nightclubs, and I never once saw a man pour a beer on a woman, ever, no matter who she was or what she did. Either you're using a freak incident to establish a trend, or you have quite the imagination...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:38 AM
2

They're just taught "do whatever it takes to make a hot girl feel bad so maybe she'll feel ugly enough to fuck/date you" Where is this being taught? Sounds like a terrible strategy...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:34 AM
1

I had another guy at a bar (who was so short he could probably qualify as a midget) tell me I had a weird face randomly. That's not a neg, incidentally. That's a cry for help...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:30 AM
3

Grabs popcorn and prepares for an epic 'Battle of the Incels' Insecure men will be blunt and rude for no reason and neg the poor girl so she thinks she's less attractive than she is. This makes her prone to dating losers. You really don't have a very high opinion of women, do you? 'Oh, the poor dears, so lost and irresolute...' lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:18 AM
9

I always say that the 80/20 rule is a general idea rather than an actual percentage, but lo and behold, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:07 AM
1

You just said above the #1 most attractive trait a guy could have This you have to have something to offer, AND offer monogamy. makes monogamy sound more like a '+1' than '#1', and even that would be being generous based on my above criteria. But a 7 women won't marry a 4 man just because he's offering monogamy. But you can't say all 157 million women are in a conspiracy... that's ridiculous. I didn't say they were in a conspiracy. JFC, that would be giving them too much credit. I said they were…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 07:02 AM
1

they just all lied? Apparently. Or they are just massively unaware and pay no attention to the actual dynamics (more likely, since women usually don't need to pay attention to dynamics). Let's have a look at this, shall we? If monogamy is 'hot', why are there so many monogamous men suffering miserable sex lives? Why are 70%+ of divorces initiated by women? Why do married women cheat with non-married men? Why would there ever be paternity fraud? Or swingers? On the other hand, if monogamy is #1, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:25 AM
1

I like well-spoken girls whom I can reduce to giggles. That's hot...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:08 AM
1

Yet I'm the one with direct fucking experience with this. A lot of it. I don't give a shit what some chart women want to circulate says ('don't listen to what they say, watch what they do'). And bonus points for your casual misogyny and virtue signaling, throwing women who date older men under the bus as 'gold-diggers', lol. Stay classy... And this? You will naturally have more in common with someone within 1 year of your age rather than someone ten years older. Is utterly bullshit. You share th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 06:06 AM
1

Idk why you find it difficult to believe that some guys are good for sex and little else. I totally get that. I just know that 'mutual use' seems to be a bit more fraught and complicated for women than it is for men. Don't forget, I've known a lot of 'mutual users' in my time, so I'm not basing that observation on random internet FRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:59 AM
1

I get it. I just don't really get the reactions they have (actually, I do, but I think they are often disingenuous in nature). I certainly have never reacted to gay men groping me the way some girls have reacted to my just being innocuously friendly...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:54 AM
1

No. There was no '#1' - there were four equal 'ones.' And there is no fucking way being monogamous is the #1 turn-on for women, or lots of women, my wife included, would be trying to get into my pants ('cause I'm not too shabby at this monogamy thing). Instead, I've been monogamously invisible to women and haven't had anything like a real sex life in a few years, and I know many guys who are in similar (if not nearly as bad) situations. It's believing bullshit claims like that that cause 'anger …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 05:50 AM
1

Why? When she throws up LMR, I stop pushing and start pulling. Because, first, it's almost always a guarantee of sex, but secondly, I demonstrate my control of the situation and get to see how much she actually wants me and what she is willing to do. Corny as it sounds, it really is playing out a specific power dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 02:22 AM
1

What you don't believe her? Based on my experience, I'm always a bit skeptical is all. I don't really care enough either way, though, so I'm not going to make some case around it. And what is AF/BB less complicated than? Compartmentalizing is often easier. You don't have to try to make a boyfriend out of someone you like fucking, and you don't have fuck (and fuck up) that guy who is always there for you. You know, the 'I wouldn't want to jeopardize our friendship!' thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 02:18 AM
2

It's actually painful, really, lol. It's not so bad when you're getting attention from everyone, but when the only action your seeing is gay guys groping/grinding inappropriately, it's definitely a 'Really? FML...' thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 02:15 AM
1

JFC, it's not that hard. It's not like a 20-year old and a 30-year old are from different planets or something. They all still listen to the same music, read the same books, like the same movies, etc. And after college, the whole idea of 'peer groups' becomes way less relevant. The general population is nowhere near so homogeneous. And most women I know express a preference for older guys because they want men, not boys. They actually like the 'groundedness' and 'maturity' (descriptions of mascu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 02:12 AM
1

Two things - First, Reddit skews young. Not many of either gender seem to be too interested in the traditional family route. I think that is fairly representative of the young demographic. Second, it is obvious to at least me that a significant number of men on TRP want that traditional family life, but believe that it is impossible because reasons, so they are going for casual sex instead. On the one hand, you can say they are just trying to justify doing what they wanted to do all along, but o…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 01:47 AM
2

he makes "good husband material" and "good fuck material" mutually exclusive. Lots of people, including many non-TRP sexologists, have that view. There was a thread recently that discussed a recent study that identified four main criteria women use when assessing potential mates. While that's more than the standard two, I think it was pretty obvious that two of the four where definite 'fuck material' qualities and two were 'husband material' qualities. Regardless, the idea that there isn't one s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 01:41 AM
1

While I don't disagree with this assertion Average guys fall in love/are sexually attracted to their wives/GFs all over the place. I think this is also true most average men have never been able to select for love/sexual attraction. Someone posted a while back, when discussing the phenomenon of 'wife goggles', that a woman's attraction to a man as a major component of her attractiveness. I found this idea so resonant (and unprecedented) that I wanted to start a thread on it, but I of course didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 01:31 AM
1

I endorse this message.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 01:20 AM
1

Like romantics pretending to be realists? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 12:18 AM
1

Indicator Of Interest
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 12:07 AM
1

Lol according to the people on here that mock me by going 'xdxdxd' I guess it is. I don't think it's a bad thing LOL That's emoji abuse, not laughing too much. I giggle a lot around attractive guys Most/all women do. That's one of the biggest IOIs there is...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:49 PM
0

They be thinking they're using me when in reality I'm playing the same game. Right...uh-huh...of course...yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:48 PM
1

She could have (and probably would have, if she participated here) typed exactly what you typed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:47 PM
1

Gays are the only ones to have hit on me for the past couple of years. Talk about depressing, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:20 PM
2

There are toys I keep on the side for that but not the same guys I talk to about life, problems, etc. Literally AF/BB playing out IRL, right here. My experience is that many women with plenty of options opt for this strategy. It's way less complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:18 PM
2

I laugh too much I don't think this is possible for anyone to do. giggling at everything. This is usually catnip for most guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:16 PM
1

You just summarized the motivation behind overcoming LMR, lol, and why I literally do not care if she leaves/let's me leave when I do the freeze out...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:14 PM
1

You seriously sound exactly like my wife, including your attitude and experiences...honey, is that you? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:12 PM
1

I'm with /u/GroovyEFS on this - I'm not making you wrong, I'm just trying to understand what is driving this reaction (kinda like the aversion to sluts thing - I am interested in figuring that one out, too). I damn well need to trust that they're not going to make anyone uncomfortable or say the wrong thing. And you can only trust that they are going to be able to handle themselves if they came to the knowledge of how to do so naturally? They didn't have to get help from books, or clubs, or semi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:10 PM
1

I think it gets down to the oft-recurring idea that something as complex and magical and irrational as attraction and love and intimacy and relationships can be affected and even improved by broad-based, rational approaches. Everyone wants to feel special, and everyone wants to feel like their sex/love/relationship life affirms their particular brand of specialness. Everyone likes the idea of having a 'soulmate.' No one wants to think that their relationships aren't particularly unique or specia…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 10:01 PM
1

It's funny how much difficulty you seem to have allowing for cognitive dissonance. And I'm not even confronting you with a IRL personal situation, just a thought experiment. You keep twisting and spinning trying to resolve it, but you aren't answering the actual question. It was in my original hypothetical, which you chose to argue against. I chose a less obviously derogatory criteria for a reason. Clearly, your criteria makes things a bit more unreasonable and more likely that thoughts and acti…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 07:44 AM
1

Never implied you did. I wouldn't either. And being pragmatic and falling in love are not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 11:51 PM
1

Ah, you're being funny ITT, lol. Twisting and turning every which way. This person has now shown me their true colors. Their actions did not? I will now see their previous and current actions colored by the knowledge that they don't consider me capable of showing love, having empathy, or being logical. And where was that included in my hypothetical? You're adding all kinds of stuff in an attempt to move goalposts. You can't respect people you see as lesser. True, generally. You can still treat t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 10:33 PM
1

something that's more difficult than simply learning how to act around people Simply learning how to act around people is not what makes a man sexually successful. Your 'naturals' have a lot more going for them than just knowing how to act around people. They have developed their skills and use them with talent, just like an entrepreneur (or any other successful person) would.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 10:21 PM
1

What does Reddit have to do with anything? There is a lot more to the internet (or learning in general) than Reddit. If a man learned how to socialize not from the internet (or Reddit), but from other sources, is he all good then?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 10:18 PM
1

Without counting that being a cripple socially and being on trp guarantees being cynical and jaded. TIL... I've been called a lot of things. Cynical and jaded is generally not two of them. Cynicism is nothing more than the flip side of the idealism coin. I worked hard to purge my idealism years ago. I may still suffer from it occasionally in moments of weakness, but I don't think I can ever be characterized by it. RP presents itself as pragmatic. The fact that so many cannot seem to adopt it as …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 10:16 PM
1

I don't want to date a social cripple. Once a social cripple, always a social cripple? How does that work? This is why I'm calling BS on the professed ability to know the difference. I was kissless until 18, and a virgin until 21. I was pretty 'crippled' in that area, at least compared to many of my peers. Five to ten years later, I don't think anyone ever saw me as being 'socially crippled.' I was kicking serious ass, moreso than many who were never 'crippled'. I wanna know how you would be abl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 09:57 PM
1

What's worrying is if a guy feels the need to read TRP, because it means there is something wrong with him. Almost everyone has 'something wrong with them' such that they need outside assistance at some point in life. Fuck, there's a billions dollar therapy/self-help/self-actualization industry because of that. So many idealists around here...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 09:06 PM
1

Well played.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 09:00 PM
1

Sure. RP as inherently amoral. To look at it otherwise is wholly unproductive and amounts to nothing more than mental masturbation and ego soothing. It's a waste of everyone's time, and that's frustrating for those of us interested in productive conversations.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:54 PM
1

Hahaha...seriously? How 'basic' and 'successful' are we talking here? Definitely seeing the Just World coming out now, combined with some wishful thinking. Yes, entrepreneurs are successful because of 'talent', not because they applied themselves and learned everything they could and worked their asses off, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:43 PM
1

There's plenty of hot interesting guys who are so naturally if I wanted to catch a ride. You know they are naturals how, lol? This must be another one of those vaunted 'powers of female intuition' things that makes them such good mind readers and astute judges of character, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:39 PM
1

Good thing most women aren't like you (or, at least, don't care enough to bother to find out). Not a single woman I've been with has cared about all my failures.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:36 PM
1

Being a social cripple doesn't make you any stronger. Of course not. Overcoming being a social cripple sure does, though. Being a well rounded and well adjusted person has nothing to do with whether they will touch bottom at some point or not. who learns to deal with difficulties growing up and can recover from hits they take is what I'm talking about. Which doesn't involve touching bottom how? Having a good social network, not being ugly, having friends and girlfriends. A good family possibly. …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:35 PM
1

Oh shit! You're right. :smh: But see? It's hard for me to even type 'reading Twilight' (yech)...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:25 PM
1

GOAT?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 08:13 PM
1

Que? What are the apples and what are the oranges?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 07:04 PM
1

I don't think that is possible for anyone. You don't have to go to the literal bottom, but no one only moves up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 07:04 PM
1

Well, some stop using but still live their lives around their addictions. It's always front and center in their lives. I'm not making them wrong for that - I can totally appreciate how hard it is and you gotta do what you gotta do. It can get tiresome for others, though. Kinda like a lot of MGTOWs...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:16 PM
1

Long stories - remind me when I have more time, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:14 PM
2

Fuck off, lol... ;) Some struggle is good, but I'm not a masochist, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:14 PM
1

Many TRPers say that like it's a bad thing and make women wrong for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:12 PM
2

For my wife, worse would be reading Twilight, I think. She'd lose all respect for me, lol (unless I had a damn good excuse).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:11 PM
1

She wasn't asking about me, she was asking why TRPers are so angry or hateful about women being like children. She gets that I love that women are like children, that I love the opportunities offered by that, that I enjoy 'needing' to treat women like children. I want to foster that as much as possible. I literally wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, being 'childlike' is, for me, one of the most valuable qualities a person can have, even in men, though it can sometimes be more problematic f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:09 PM
2

Agreed, as long as they aren't being dominated by their addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:01 PM
1

It can be argued (and has been, many times by many different people) that the struggle is what improves your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:00 PM
2

A lot of recovering addicts don't come back stronger. They are still dominated by their addictions. The ones who experience true freedom can be pretty badass.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:45 PM
1

What you're describing is an owner/pet relationship, or a parent/child relationship. No, what I am describing is what I am describing. Your still trying to resolve cognitive dissonance. so for me it's impossible to feel "better about myself and the relationship in general". Why is it impossible to feel better about yourself and relationships in general? I have to feel equal to my partner socially/economically/etc and that they don't see me in a condescending light like I were their pet or small …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:37 PM
1

I was responding to this relationships are supposed to like, improve my life, right? Not be a struggle
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:23 PM
2

Yeah, but I wish to hell that I didn't have to do it all by myself. It would have made me even more successful and saved a lot of wasted years wandering in the wilderness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:21 PM
2

do men send out unsolicited dick pics and genuinely believe it helps their chances romantically/sexually? Yes. A surprising amount do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:16 PM
2

Word.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:13 PM
2

Sure, but that's not why all relationships go bad. That's just one example, and there are plenty of instances where love has conquered all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:13 PM
2

It's true that women can do that too! (I'm sure you know this given your experience) I believe that it is possible, yes. Not entirely sure and never will be, since I'm not a woman, but I allow the possibility. But feels don't trump reals. I avoid such declarative statements, but this seems to be true for most people most of the time. I've certainly made exceptions in my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:11 PM
1

Your problem is with your own cognitive dissonance then, not the other person. As a hypothetical, if I treated you better than any person has ever treated you and made you feel better about yourself and relationships in general, but you eventually learned that I saw you as 'lesser', would you cut me off in favor of someone who doesn't treat you as well and doesn't inspire the same feelings but whom you knew saw you as not lesser?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:05 PM
2

Well, it is true that men can do that. What isn't true is that their ability to do that 'should be' valued more highly than their actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:58 PM
2

Almost everyone has to experience something to actually learn it. The way I see it, RP just makes that process more efficient by telling guys where to focus their experiential learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:57 PM
1

I was referring to my flair, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:53 PM
1

That's why I'm extremely picky about who I'm gonna struggle and fight for. Well, that's a different story, though. You will never find someone who will insulate you from the struggle and the fight. No matter who you pick, there will be struggle and fights. My criteria is more being with someone where I see potential for positive outcomes from all the struggle and fight. Those people are exceedingly rare (rarer now that I know that even someone like my wife, who was one in a million that way, is …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:51 PM
2

It's just that I'm not equipped to solve those kinds of problems for a guy. No one is. Guys have to solve it for themselves. That's why some of us try to assemble resources to help with that. Support is nice, but should never be expected, particularly from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:49 PM
2

And nobody is awesome all the time, I think I have a decently balanced view of relationships. So you understand how it is very possible for really bad relationships to not have always been really bad, right? How awful marriages may have once been amazing marriages?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:46 PM
2

Like successful entrepreneurs have never failed and declared bankruptcy. O_o Sounds like you live in a Just World...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:40 PM
3

someone who had to touch the bottom The only people worth dealing with are those that have touched the bottom. Everyone has the potential to touch the bottom - I prefer those I know can touch the bottom and come back stronger because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:38 PM
1

How are they 'alpha' if they are nothing more than failed try-hards?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:36 PM
2

Dafuque? I don't posture anything, ever. Fuck that shit. I despise posers. And being 'alpha' never made me humorless. In fact, it gave me a much better sense of humor and made me far more charming all the way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:36 PM
2

Some ideologies diminish happiness. No, ideologies don't diminish happiness. You're view of ideologies diminishes your happiness. If you were super happy right up until the point when you discovered an ideology that you don't like, it's clear that the ideology had absolutely no relationship to that happiness or lack thereof. The only thing that changed was your view - nothing in objective reality changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:31 PM
1

So, you are totally in love with that person and have grown close to them over time. They are a fantastic human being, who treats you and everyone else in exactly the ways you would want them to, but if you find that they hold some controversial views, none of that counts anymore? This is why I have no respect for ideologues of any stripe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:27 PM
2

I have a relationship that is as bad as anything in MRP. And for about fifteen years, we had a marriage that our community held up as the model of a vibrant, healthy relationship. We were asked on more than one occasion to write a book about it. I feel like BPers are still overly beholden to a Just World view of relationships, like how many rich people have a Just World view of wealth.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:23 PM
2

Any guy can become one of the broken and sad Ask TRP types. Do you think all of the guys in, say, MRP were always so broken and sad?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:20 PM
1

former alpha Where have I seen this before? Hmmm...lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:19 PM
2

If you ask any marriage counselor (and I've asked many), marriage (or any extended LTR) is going to be an ongoing struggle. That's the nature of the beast.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:17 PM
2

Has nothing to do with being extro. My wife is a massive introvert (INTJ), but she is also the most charismatic person I know. I'm a massive extro, and I've never been able to get out of her shadow socially...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:13 PM
5

What can I say, social dynamics always came easy for me. Yeah, you're a woman. Shocker. My wife's social skills are like supernaturally powerful (like a fucking Jedi), even for a woman, and have been from an early age, but even she has had to grow and develop them over the years. I need a guy who can keep up. That doesn't imply 'must be natural', though, does it? If he can keep up, does it matter how he learned to keep up?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:09 PM
2

What kind of learning disability does someone have that they aren't able to learn just from being around other people? Why haven't they been socialized properly? Why can't he pick up hints unless he gets told what to look out for? This is again odd, though, applied to the question of leadership, since the vast majority of people suck at leadership and have few if any leadership skills. And the number of people who have the skills and came by them naturally is vanishingly small. I can get the pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 04:04 PM
2

She just didn't know the language. This is particularly true for concepts like 'treat women like children.' She, of course, thought that was ridiculous, until I talked to her about it from a man's perspective and gave her umpteen examples from our own life. Presented in an actual amoral way, without all the ridiculous MGTOW moralizing and demonizing accompanying the conversation (she even said at one point, "If it's not such a bad thing, why do you guys hate us so much for it?", which is a valid…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 03:55 PM
1

It takes what it takes. I had to go through the same thing when I was young, though it was a solo journey for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 03:49 PM
2

Are there natural alphas and masculine men? Sure. I wasn't one of them. Everything I ever achieved in that area I had to learn. That's my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 03:20 PM
2

You don't like people who have to follow a script. I get it. No one does. If you haven't gotten to the point where you can throw the script away and just go with your (now developed) instincts, your probably going to fail more than you succeed. That's why I say that 'swallowing the red pill' requires an entire shift of paradigm (much like what happened in the movie version), not an application of new stuff to the same paradigm.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 07:02 AM
5

It's similar to how everyone knows for a fact that marketing, advertising, and sales techniques do not work on them and never will. They are too smart to fall for that phony crap. And yet, companies still make billions using them. Must be on all those other suckers...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:59 AM
2

I downloaded MMSL a couple years ago. My wife finished it before I even had a chance to start reading. Her response? "You should totally listen to this guy..." She doesn't like the overt bitterness, rage, and cynicism, but otherwise, she totally agrees with most of the RP descriptions she's read.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:57 AM
12

I would say that this is the most solid answer. People who worry more about what someone thinks than what they actually do baffle me. Maybe that's why my friend's circle has always been made up of a very diverse lot...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:53 AM
5

If Atlas is in fact my wife's alter-ego (or, at least, my wife's id manifesting itself and running amok), I'm gonna go with cheating. I'm not exaggerating when I say that my wife would rather catch me pumping-and-dumping a chick than catch me being her emotional tampon or her 'helper.'
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:50 AM
2

Their terminology slips out. This is why you should next them. I would think only total 'spergs would use the terminology in everyday conversation, even if only by accident.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:44 AM
4

And despite TRP's "you'd never know line," it's really easy to tell. I've successfully called out two of my guy friends for being lurkers. The funny thing about this is that I was a lot like 'RP' before there was RP. I understood a lot of what the PUAs understand without ever reading a thing about PUA. I'm pretty confident that you would never know, because not even I knew, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:43 AM
3

I've heard antifeminist women saying things like "women are dumb, I'm not one of those dumb women, I'm one of the guys". I'm not sure that they identify as anti-feminist, but yeah, a lot of women will say this. Often, it's somewhat true - they are kinda tomboy-ish/male-brained. I've never, however, heard a feminist man say "men are dumb, I'm not like one of those dumb men, I'm one of the girls" That's because that's not what they say. They say, "men are dumb, I'm not like one of those dumb men, …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 05:26 AM
2

PART DEUX So either every relationship has an expiration date or its the duty of the people in the relationship to put in the work to keep it alive. If they find the benefits greater than the cost it's their prerogative to do so. And the problem for me here is that both the culture and the structure around marriage seems to be designed to provide substantial benefits to the woman while minimizing her costs, which is why many RPers are screaming about avoiding marriage (I don't know that I'm as s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 02:07 AM
2

You put a lot of work into this response - sorry it took me so long to respond, but I did want to acknowledge you effort. First off, I want to unpack some of what you wrote, some of which I have trouble with and some of which I feel I should play play devil's advocate or expound upon, but first I would point out that I think your response to my other comment: IMO it's your duty to let yourself fall into a man's frame when he is initiating and let him seduce you, rather than freeze up and push hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 02:06 AM
1

Protestors aren't angry? I'm pretty sure that anger is what gets someone off their ass to go and protest. Or maybe they just have a hard time making friends and were told to go get involved in a community project? And if actively blocking someone's path and preventing them from reaching their destination isn't confrontational, I'm not sure what is.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 06:09 AM
1

When one side is angry and confrontational, and the other side is not, I don't see why anyone would choose to 'push through' rather than just going down to the next entrance.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 03:22 AM
2

Protest can have an impact on policy when the protest is specific and addresses grievances, ie Civil Rights protests in the 50's/early 60's and the anti war movement during the Vietnam war. This. And I did not vote for him and I am not a fan, I think a lot of the undercurrent in these particular protests were a way to say they weren't happy he won and banding together just made people feel good. This. And 'feeling good' should not be the goal for anyone right now. I've heard Trump supporters say…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 08:14 PM
1

They're a show of support for the policies we care about, and they're a way to start a conversation. You know what else does that? Election campaigns, like the one the Democrats just lost. What policies are new here? What new conversation was started? I am in no way a Trump supporter or even a Republican (neither am I a Democrat), but I think that the best possible way to show support for the policies we care about is to communicate them effectively and elevate leaders who can effectively have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 08:06 PM
1

Hahaha! Thanks for this. My wife brought up that this whole thing reminds her of the Dave Chappelle/Chris Rock skit on SNL about the election watch party. I've been chuckling and shaking my head since...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 08:02 PM
1

It would never make it to the Supreme Court. Roe v Wade is already established as the precedent. A new abortion case would have to be extraordinary in order to A) make it to the Supreme Court and B) then call Roe v Wade into question. I know conservatives have this pipe dream that the only thing standing between them and Roe v Wade are liberal justices, but that just isn't the reality of our legal system. Again, the Supreme Court is not a legislative body. It is very hard to overturn precedents.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:40 PM
1

Agree whole-heartedly, and I tend to see myself as 'progressive' (at least, generally more than 'conservative'). I honestly feel a mix of disappointment and offense regarding how these marches played out. So much of what I've heard plays into the worst stereotypes of feminists and 'AWALT.' For something claiming to be by, for, and about women, they sure didn't seem to want to cast a very wide net. Regardless of how I may feel about them personally, conservative women are still women. Pro-life wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:35 PM
1

You also need a whole lot of precedent and a very solid new case, neither of which are likely to be found. The Supreme Court is not a legislative body, and they cannot operate like one.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:10 PM
1

I didn't get the feeling here that Brexit influenced our election much (though I will say, it certainly made me much less certain that Trump was going to lose), but it certainly shifted how the world thinks about the EU, and that's huge.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 03:56 PM
2

Or they were more determined. I don't know how many people who came for the inauguration were motivated or prepared to fight their way in. I can't imagine wanting to break through a human chain just to get to a political event. I would just go to the next gate...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 03:53 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 03:50 PM
1

to fill the Supreme Court with pro life justices specifically to overturn roe v wade. That will take much more than just some pro-life justices.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:57 AM
1

Brexit has had more worldwide impact. I'm no defender of Trump, but I don't know how anyone can argue that Trump has more international impact than Brexit. Brexit is huge, and if it really brings about the end of the EU, that will be incredibly more significant to changing the world as we know it...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:41 AM
1

The Tea Party had the advantage of being a fairly monolithic block of authoritarian-inclined individuals who were advocating a return to something. Leftists have a harder time organizing effectively due to their emphasis on diversity and their anti-authoritarian inclinations, especially when they are advocating progressive ideology, which usually entails a never-seen-before future as opposed to the idea of returning to a prior paradigm. They do better when they have specific goals (like protesti…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:35 AM
2

In practice it was a giant liberal circle jerk I've been trying to come up with a good descriptor of how I view the marches. This is as good as any (the other is that I have no respect for politics that are based on tribalism and the associated feelings). And I say that as a (mostly) liberal (but fierce Independent - if the Republican Party still had liberals like they did many decades ago, that's what I would be) who did not support Trump and who has some grave concerns regarding his presidency…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 05:37 AM
3

Actually, protestors did block entrances and got one to close. I'm not convinced that explains the poor turnout, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 05:23 AM
2

Sounds entirely too familiar, lol. That was almost literally me for a long time when I was young. Fortunately (ironically), things got bad enough that I finally took the bull by the horns, so to speak, before I found someone willing to settle and started transforming myself away from being that romantical boy. He never went away entirely, but he did get put in his place.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 07:40 PM
2

Honestly, it does paint a grim picture regardless, lol. No wonder marriage can be such a miserable institution...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 04:28 PM
1

Well, women in general have a reactive sex drive. They often don't feel horny until something or someone inspires feelings of arousal. So yeah, women often don't really initiate sex, but a woman who finds her partner attractive will 'get in the mood' pretty damn quick (my wife used to refuse to let me kiss her because she was afraid it would lead to sex, a notion that baffled me, but whatever). That, to me, is different from 'duty sex.' That's just a regular ol' sex thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 07:51 AM
1

As I said above, though, if a wife has lost attraction/passion such that she has sex out of a sense of duty rather than real arousal, the other parts of the relationship are going to suffer as well. If respect is fundamental to female sexual attraction/arousal (and everything I've ever learned tells me it is), a lack of arousal might indicate a lack of respect as well, would it not? And that's more problematic than just lackluster sex...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 07:44 AM
1

In a healthy relationships, both partners should be attracted to, and want sex with each other. Shoulds won't get you very far. Just sayin'...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 07:40 AM
3

Some Most people think healthy is when both partners have sex when the Venn Diagram of lust meets. What with the emphasis on female 'equality' and autonomy and the view of male sexuality and the male sex drive as base and boorish. Others think it's healthy when a woman understands her guy has a higher sex drive and thus has sex when she doesn't want. Which, of course, is a holdover from the evil Patriarchy and a sure sign of female oppression (and maybe it is), so there is no reason to tolerate …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 07:38 AM
1

Duty sex isn't a bad thing unless it unenthusiastic/unwanted/starfishy. First of all, 'duty sex' kinda implies unenthusiastic/unwanted (and hence, starfishy). For a long time, I would have said I would rather go without than have someone sleep with me when their heart wasn't in it. I want a lover, not a prostitute or a pity fuck. After having gone without for so long, it pains me to say that I've certainly dropped a lot of requirements with regards to the kind of sex I have. Doing so has made me…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 07:23 AM
3

A very well-articulated analysis. Thank you. As I've said many times, the 'alphas' are the one's who get the kind of sex (and relationships, if they are interested in them) they want on their terms. And, as I've gotten older, I'm seeing how few men are actually able to accomplish and maintain that status. I certainly learned first-hand how hard to maintain that is. For a long time I operated under the impression that, having achieved 'alpha' status (at least in my wife's eyes, and a few other ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 05:49 AM
1

Glad to see you back! Especially for these debates. I always think of you when these topics come up, lol - you were our resident expert! Hope you stick around some. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 04:40 AM
2

This Their wives and girlfriends worship them has no correlation to this they are just good people. IME I live in a major urban center where everyone is young (or older but still hipster), educated, professional, liberal (in a general sense), and the last several years have just been a bloodbath in my communities. And I would categorize everyone as all-around good people. No one who is divorced or struggling in their marriages would I see as being overly-flawed or obviously a bad partner (at lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 04:35 AM
2

Like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 04:34 AM
2

As in women have them, but could ignore them if they really tried. Of course. That's true for every instinct. People ignore their drive to binge a quart of ice cream all the time (and some don't). Not every man will cheat, even if he is given the opportunity, despite having a polygynous nature. And, of course, some will, because their drive overrides their choice to be monogamous. There is a big difference between our innate drives and our actual behavior. That said, it would behoove everyone wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 04:29 AM
2

All social science suffers from this. That's why they will never be considered hard science. The leading researchers are pretty good at structuring sound hypotheses, however, and many social science theories create very useful models even though they lack hard science basis (economics, for example).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 03:23 AM
1

That said, and as I pointed out elsewhere, behavioral psychology is dispelling the notion of 'rational actors' in areas like economics. It is showing us how we are driven to act irrationally all the time, without us even realizing it, even when it may be against our best interest. I think it's important to keep in mind just how powerful out irrational drives are. That's why I've always been against 'abstinence-only' sex education. You will never catch me betting against human nature...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 02:14 AM
1

why should what is natural be considered "right?" It seems that everyone who claims something is human nature does so to justify that action, which seems a bit ridiculous. It shouldn't and their justifications are weak. That's called making a naturalistic fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 10:07 PM
5

It is interesting to view things through an evolutionary lens but not get too caught up in believing we have no choice and everything we do is biologically ingrained. I think it's important to completely distinguish 'choice' from 'biologically ingrained.' We can't choose what is biologically ingrained in us. We can choose (if we know how and have the desire to) how we act on what is biologically ingrained. Sometimes those choices are stronger than others, and sometimes we still act on our biolog…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 10:05 PM
2

Evolutionary psychology has been transforming economics by, among many other things, dismantling the notion of 'rational actors.' Many economists are starting to use behavioral economics to better understand applied economics. And while economics is not a hard science, it's still a very useful tool for understanding human behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 09:52 PM
1

Having something you want to prove and then coming up with 'evidence' based on what sounds good is not science. Except you can make a hypothesis and then go out and research in the field to see if the results of that research match your hypothesis. If an evolutionary psychologist came up with, say, the hypothesis that human beings evolved to prefer the color blue to all other colors for reasons XYZ, and then went out and surveyed populations across the globe about their color preferences, he cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 09:50 PM
1

the red side of the debate mostly want to stick their dicks into as many holes as possible all the time You get that a polygynous drive may not manifest as 'as many holes as possible', right? I am absolutely polygynous by nature. I am not interested in maximum quantity. Your position is as ridiculous as saying that, because a woman is hypergamous, she won't find anyone below George Clooney attractive (which also reflects a wrong-headed attitude sometimes found around these parts).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 04:39 PM
1

men would be hypergamous (in regards to looks) in that setting as well. Men only tolerate women who don't look that good because it's a trade-off for commitment (no one has to know etc). Have you ever seen this play out in actual real-life situations? While it may look like that in some instances, that is in no way a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 04:34 PM
1

This was my argumentation for why the same standards would apply to women in a poly relationship as in a monogamous one. Why? That's a huge assumption on your part.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 04:32 PM
1

In the case of relationships I think it's fair to say a poly relationship would involve the same looks standards from a man as a monogamous one. That's not possible. If a man is going to be sleeping with multiple women, some of them are going to be better looking than others, unless they are all identical twins. If you've read anything by David Buss, he postulates that men sleep with less attractive women than themselves for casual sex as a trade-off for commitment. Once any type of commitment i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 04:12 PM
1

From Harems to loving polygamous relationships. We are apparently using different definitions of harems. A man who has a 'harem' has multiple sexual partners. While he may not have feelings for them (doubtful, knowing most men), that isn't a given. I was just reading up on early Mormon polygamy. Do you think those men had no feelings for their wives? So it's a bit more complex than what you claim here. My claim is very broad. I have no idea why you don't think it would accommodate complexity. Re…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 04:03 PM
2

Not an actual economist, but I do have a degree in economics, and I have no idea what concept most posters are holding with regard to what economics is. I feel like they are mistaking economic policy or something for actual economics.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 03:56 PM
1

Economics is applied knowledge of human behavior. That's all it is. And it's neither young nor to be taken with a grain of salt. It's not hard science, but it's hardly inconsistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 03:52 PM
2

Economic models don't even do a good job of predicting economic systems As an economics major in college, I was always frustrated that the laws of economics were not entirely immutable, but to say that they don't do a good job of predicting economics seems ill-informed. For example, while there have been occasional anomalies that don't follow the law of supply and demand, that law holds true in the vast majority of instances.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 03:50 PM
1

May I perhaps be suggesting that that's now how the Halo effect works? Yeah, I got that. 'Nuh-uh!' is not a rebuttal. You don't know what it's supposed to mean because you didn't look up the term I told you to look up. Here's a definition from Wikipedia: I see absolutely nothing in that definition that excludes the idea of "harems" (I'm thinking I should perhaps have not used the term, as you seem to be taking it in some very literal and specific way - technically, I would never want to have a h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 02:44 PM
1

Don't run that pseudo-intellectual gobbledygook on me. Hahaha...specific terms of debate on a debate sub is now pseudo-intellectual gobbledygook. Are you sure that's your play? lol I don't give a shit how men are "by nature" - I'm cool going against basic instincts to get what I want "I don't care what the topic we're supposed to be discussing is - I want to talk about MEEEEE and how great I am!" I hope you at least feel self-satisfied now. Though I'm not sure how great of an accomplishment that…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 07:09 AM
1

:smh: Don't be pedantic. But, let's look at your argument. Men forced to go to war as cannon fodder are full-fledged people by comparison? Is it meaningless to look at their value, too? If not, the the question is - what makes them different from women? Why did those going to war and claiming spoils care more about either protecting women or claiming them? Why were men seen as good for cannon fodder, but women were to be protected by said cannon fodder?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 05:42 AM
1

I can keep my dick in my pants. So can I. What's your point? You appear to be invoking some kind of naturalistic fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 05:38 AM
1

Okay, so I'm completely confused by your rebuttal. Yeah, economic theory can't be usefully applied to anything other than economics. There is no such thing as 'economic theory' separate from economics. Economics is economic theory, and vice versa. It takes a serious lack of understanding of economic theory and basic human interactions to think an economic model would ever be useful when applied to a non-economic system of human behavior. I'm not applying economic theory to a non-economic system …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 12:44 AM
2

therefore subject to being "spoils"? And 'spoils' are what? Not valuable? You're making the case right here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 12:28 AM
1

All I'm taking away from "be yourself" is to be honest with yourself. I'm always being often told to stop being so negative about myself (has happened my whole life). I think I'm just being myself and being honest about myself. Should I 'be myself' and be honest about myself, even though it turns people off? Or should I lie about all those negative traits I see in me, and enjoy the affinity that lying enables?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 11:22 PM
2

People place value and make choices based on that value nearly everywhere in life, and there are a lot of patterns that hold consistently across populations when it comes to how humans manage their resources/those things that they value. Why everyone seems to think that sex/relationships is immune from a way of thinking about value that can be applied to literally everything else in life is beyond me, but they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 11:06 PM
8

This is an incredibly vague and general assertion. There is a reason it was always men who were the cannon fodder and the women were 'the prizes.' And RMV = 'Relationship Market Value', as opposed to 'Sexual Market Value.' The reason there is a distinction is that someone can be very appealing for a fuck or for companionship, but not the other way around. In fact, there was a study posted sometime in the past couple of months that showed that women utilize four different sets of criteria when ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 10:59 PM
1

Your right. Hell, I lifted my ass off and I still had a hard time looking like a man (just kidding, but I certainly didn't get all huge and 'swole', at least not compared to my competitive weightlifting buddies). Even competitive women bodybuilders rarely 'look like men' when they aren't prepped for a competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 10:36 PM
1

A lot of men do want commitment, not harems. A meaningless video rebuttal? I'm not impressed. And wanting commitment is not mutually exclusive to a pluralistic sex drive, so I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 10:34 PM
12

You are correct. Women are more valuable than men, full stop. That's always been the case. Of course, one of the issues is that women mistake their SMV for their RMV all the time. And men, of course, mistake their RMV for their SMV. Which causes everyone to be confused and butthurt, but the market itself is actually working as it should.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 09:23 PM
1

Not just work out - lift, and lift heavy. Both men and women lose muscle at the rate of at least a pound a year starting at 30 (or something like that - I'd have to refresh my memory as to the actual statistics). A half-hour (or even an hour or two) on the treadmill is not going to get that muscle back. That's why many women who work hard and starve themselves to stay skinny as they age end up looking like Skeletors. They need to replace muscle as well as lose fat, and you don't do that through …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 09:18 PM
1

Because society doesn't support polygamous relationships. I guarantee you that, if society allowed and supported polygamous sex and relationships, most men who could have multiple sex partners would.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 09:13 PM
1

But then again looks get you casual sex with women even if you aren't higher status. The Halo Effect shows us that looks automatically confer status. You look at a relationship and we're talking hypergamy from both sides. If men are forced to choose between women, as happens in societies that allow only monogamy, and men are going to have to choose the one woman they will have sex with for the rest of their lives, of course they are going to go for 'the best' (while still desiring or even actual…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 09:09 PM
1

I used that as an example of a useful though generic recommendation. The sort of thing that might be interpreted as 'RP thinks all women like the same things and all men should be the same kind of man.' I'm the last person to say that the substance of RP is found in it's advice to 'lift' (or dress well, or any of the other basic, 'superficial' recommendations). Though, to be fair, I think a lot of men don't fully appreciate the amount and range of benefits that are gained specifically through do…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 09:03 PM
2

Funny enough, I've known a couple of very high-end prostitutes. One also won a AVN award, lol. They were stunningly hot, for sure, but also catered to a very select (and wealthy) clientele. And I had a close friend who banged the AVN award winner numerous times free and gratis. Lucky bastard...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 08:38 PM
2

Did you miss this part? being with someone who, say, has no respect for you and is unsupportive or antagonist is even more detrimental than being alone in life. I would add that having a meager and unfulfilling sex life (if he has one at all) is also highly detrimental to men (again, see guys blowing themselves up). Just because he 'has a relationship' doesn't mean his needs are getting met. Trust me...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 08:34 PM
1

Well, I would say that a lot of RP is geared towards what the AFC can do to increase his odds of success, which is low-hanging fruit, which by nature is pretty limited. If a AFC came to me and said, "What can I do to increase my SMV?", I could tell him to do something like learn guitar and become a rockstar, or innovate a new technology and become an entrepreneurial phenom, or get elected to a high-level public office. Or I could tell him to, say, hit the gym and learn to be more seductive. The …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 08:31 PM
3

Hypergamy refers to marriage not just sex. Not in RP. You should know this by know. And prostitutes are hot. Most of the prostitutes that most of the men in this world bang are not top-tier attractive women. They are often less attractive than the man himself (which is often why they are prostitutes).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 08:26 PM
1

I would find it very hard to believe that they would still want to have sex with those men should they not have those characteristics. Hell, I would say that I am objectively better looking than at least a couple of the 'players' that I am thinking about (or, at least, equal to them), yet I in no way have a track record that is as impressive as theirs. If we are both approximately the same when it comes to looks, what explains the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 08:23 PM
1

If women prefer men with higher status that's hypergamy, but if men prefer more attractive women, it's not? Explain the logic behind this to me please. Men prefer having sex with more attractive women. It isn't a requirement for sex for them, however. I have yet to meet a woman who admits to desiring sex with a man she does not respect (higher status in some way). I have yet to meet a man who has the same condition for desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 08:21 PM
4

That's not an indication of male hypergamy. Men are polygamous by nature. If there was no limit to the number of women a man could sleep with (i.e., no monogamous constraints), chances are he wouldn't pass up having sex with a woman who was his equal or even less attractive than him. He's not biding his time waiting for some dream woman to show up in order to have sex. Men will bang prostitutes, FFS.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 05:31 PM
3

Right. Very effective, that adjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 05:24 PM
1

I think female attraction to health, strength, status, charisma, passion, ambition, etc. is pretty damned universal, though. How each individual perceives those traits may vary, but those traits seem to be pretty damned consistent. As I said, I am rarely surprised by what I see in this arena anymore. And I don't know that I've ever seen a woman, especially a well-adjusted, attractive woman, get excited for men who lack those characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 05:23 PM
4

so long as you are middle class, have a decent house, respect each other, DO NOT GROW FAT etc. Those are not insignificant bars to clear, though. Many struggle with some or all of those criteria. Additionally, I would say that, yes, the drive towards survival and physical safety/security/comfort can be the most primal for some, but the drive towards sex/mating/social support can be pretty primal as well. Loneliness has been shown to have very adverse affects on one's life, and being with someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 05:16 PM
3

Self-respect, independence maybe? Not you, and not a woman, but these are huge, as far as I can tell. I'm straight, but even I find these sorts of traits (especially as they relate to stength and not giving a fuck) 'sexy.' Huge charisma factor there...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 05:07 PM
6

Casual sex is just about physical attraction As always, I gotta disagree. IME, the physical is somewhat important, but from my own experience and from knowing some serious next-level player types, it only becomes primary at the very highest percentiles (and even then, a really hot but insecure/timid/awkward/tone-deaf/oblivious guy will still struggle). Status, charisma, swagger, seductiveness, mysteriousness, the ability to generate excitement/danger/thrills, etc, are all as important, if not mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 05:04 PM
11

'Creepy' is the best head-shot women have at their disposal. None of the others - asshole, pig, jackass, rude fuck, jerk, whatever - cut anywhere near as deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 04:43 PM
1

RP guys often say you shouldn't have to adjust tactics because "awalt" all women want the exact same thing, etc. When really there is a lot of variations they can't see. Well, from 30,000 feet, I agree that AWALT so they all want the exact same thing. Of course, from that level, the exact same thing means "attractive", so clearly there are some additional variations that need to be understood, lol. Humans aren't that complex when it comes to what they want and what they respond to, but working w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 04:32 PM
1

Could be for some of the specific tactics, I don't know. I do know that, as is true for every social skill, you have to know who you are talking to and adjust for them. I do the same thing in business, or when I'm interviewing for a job, or really, dealing with any new individual. RP is best when the descriptions are fully understood prior to assessing any individual prescription for it's usefulness. It's hard to adapt to specific interactions if you don't understand first where you currently ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 04:19 AM
1

Depends on whose interpretation you are using. The hyperbolic ones designed more to shake beliefs and make a counterpoint than to accurately reflect reality? I would agree. The non-hyperbolic ones? Those definitely reflect what I've been observing in nearly every instance for a few decades. I don't come across many surprises any more...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/17 02:31 AM
1

It does, however, explain why we might have such differing views on it. If it was of no help or use to me, I probably wouldn't like it, either. I certainly wouldn't like the community as a whole. Which is already pretty much how I feel - I appreciate RP's descriptions and articulations of sexual dynamics and the paradigm RP creates, but I don't identify with a lot of the proponents (though some I do), especially the tradcons and those given to sociopolitical rants
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 11:37 PM
1

I attribute it to human nature What? Don't you know that there is no such thing as human nature and generalizations are useless and oppressive? NAPALT!!11!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 08:46 PM
2

Or it's like a buffet where you really love buffets and you gorge yourself on the whole thing as much as you can and try to keep everyone else away from your delicious buffet, lol. But that isn't probably the most healthful approach...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 08:43 PM
3

Try to apply RP advice Whaaaa? Who does that? Sounds hard and possibly risky. Ugh... ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 08:38 PM
3

RP is ultimately about a shift of paradigms, IMO. And paradigms can only shift experientially. TRP (and PPD, and Reddit, and most of the Internet) is little more than an intellectual exercise. Not a bad thing, but insufficient by nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 08:36 PM
4

And a lot of dissent is thr result of thinking from the BP paradigm. A lot of what gets posted on TRP is also the result of thinking from a BP paradigm (a significant part of what annoys me about TRP). The solution, however, is not more BP thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 08:33 PM
2

Mankind would never have made any advances without anger. Anger is one of the most primal forces we have as human beings. It is what makes us move, and it is not automatically exclusive of judgement and reason. Even a Stoic will have and use anger. The goal is not to become emotionless - it is to have emotions and use them productively. Emotions are a critical part of our consciousness and intelligence. They provide information we cannot get in any other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 08:30 PM
1

Depends on how you present yourself, I suppose. IRL, I'm known to often be a a great explicator. One of the best many people know (so they say). Unfortunately, I'm just as often known to be a really shitty practitioner (much to everyone's frustration - mine most of all). So I just own that up front, and few take me to task for it (at least, when I'm not frustrating the shit out of them).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 07:23 PM
1

You are a woman, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 07:18 PM
3

Anger and venting are similar but distinct. One is an emotion, one is the reaction to an emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 07:18 PM
6

You hear it wrong. Anger can be and often is a very productive emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 07:16 PM
4

We are men, we pride ourselves on our rational nature, and we should take a sober and fair perspective on all of what life has to offer There is a time for that, for sure. There is also a time to say, "Fuck this noise - I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more..." And I agree that the truth is important, but it is always going to be beset on all sides from ideological thinking. All ideological thinking is unproductive/counter-productive (I fucking hate all the moralizing that happen…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 06:46 PM
13

I absolutely believe that really understanding RP requires a lot of critical thinking, a sophisticated perspective, and an appreciation of nuance and complexity. That said, I also totally understand the approach the mods take. I don't think it solves all of the problems, but it is better than the alternatives. A lot of 'critiques' do sound an awful lot like concern trolling, and attempts to add nuance and complexity often sound a lot like infusions of BP paradigm thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 06:40 PM
1

Sure, I would say that's true for a lot of it. Which makes sense, since RP is primarily descriptive. It's not like no one else can observe what RP observes. OTOH, it took me years to discover, learn about, or experience most of what RP describes. I wish I had had RP when I was having to learn a lot of this stuff. Would have made my life way easier...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 06:21 PM
2

Oh, well...poor bastard. I still appreciate his articulation of ideas. :shrug: Yeah, my wife has had sex with a lot more vaginas than he has, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 06:18 PM
1

I would be looking for wisdom from someone who has successfully gotten out of your situation if I were in one like it. Look, I would love to find someone who could impart that wisdom to me as well. I could really use someone like that right now. In the meantime, though, knowing what not to do is also helpful. I haven't yet figured a way out of my situation in life, but I've certainly learned how to not make it worse. As they say, when you are in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. But…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 05:08 PM
2

That's a fantastically evocative lyric. Thanks for sharing...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 05:00 PM
1

except 90% of men do not know how to turn on the raw energy and need to be taught how to do it. Which is why many men need something like RP (I say 'something like' because I had to learn all that on my own, back in the bad old days when I had to walk to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways). Most women are, sooner or later, turned off by men who need to be taught. As I learned early on. And, again IME, if you can generate an abundance of raw sexual energy (and granted, that isn't always…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:58 PM
1

I don't care if it is okay as a whole or not. I could care less about collectivist thinking. I'll leave that way of thinking to the idealists.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:50 PM
4

In my opinion there's a lot of continual dissatisfaction in life if you are always looking for "the next better thing" than what you already have. A lot of happiness can come from accepting what you are. I agree with this almost 100%, but I will caveat that there is a lot of good in striving as well. There is a difference between being malcontent and being ambitious, just as there is a difference between being resigned and being grateful. I imagine many other non-Red Pillers who are not into con…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:49 PM
2

I'm negative, too. Which is why having fun is even more essential for me. It's how I deal with and mitigate for that negativity. It's okay to be negative, but not having fun just sucks...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:41 PM
2

I have found that the more turned on a woman is, the more 'Chad-like' a guy is in her eyes, the less his performance/technique matters. She feels like he's a sex god, so he is. If a woman I am with starts struggling to orgasm, the quickest way to overcome that is to get her worked up into a frenzy, to generate some seriously raw sexual energy. All the fantastic techniques in the world won't help you if chemistry is off and she's rather blase about sex with you to begin with. As with most things …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:38 PM
3

Debating is a good way to find the truth or get closer to the truth. The end goal would be to come to the most objective conclusion possible. Respect
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:28 PM
3

Every day, I'm hoping to gain new insights. Rarely happens, but it's pretty inspiring when it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:26 PM
3

They are the silent majority in satisfying relationships Most relationships are satisfying until they aren't. It's not a static thing, and a lot of people get tired of getting bounced around.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:25 PM
7

What about men who don't care about "options" and want to just settle down into the first decent relationship that they find? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me, but if they are willing to take that risk and don't mind the consequences, more power to them, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:22 PM
1

You can do whatever you want. Those parts of RP have no appeal for me, so I just ignore them. Kinda like I do with the Internet in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:18 PM
2

Once I burned through the anger, the only place I found to test my thoughts was here Interesting. That's exactly my thought process as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:15 PM
2

Sure be assholes, but have a good time doing it Good advice for everything in life, I would say, lol. Be an asshole, but be a fun asshole...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:14 PM
2

The good news is I've seen at least a few political posts removed from TRP over the last couple of days. That's a welcome development indeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:12 PM
1

None of the "Alt Right" or White Nationalist crap. It really ruins the conversation. I could not agree more. RP and I are almost fully aligned on the sociosexual dynamics descriptions. I am not at all aligned with the sociopolitical commentaries (and often wonder WTF that stuff is doing in RP).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:11 PM
3

95% of TRP can be explained by behavioral economics, and that generally provides a far more believable explanation than tenuous evo-psych conclusions. I agree with you, as I am a huge fan of economic explanations in general and behavioral economics in particular, but I feel I should point out that evopsych is fundamental to a lot of behavorial economics. It's not an either/or thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:08 PM
2

And anger phase is just dumb. It might be dumb, but it is also very real. And oftentimes necessary. Shaming someone who has been devestated and is in pain doesn't accomplish anything. That won't stop their pain and anger, and it will most likely just keep it alive longer. Helping them see the truth and then (critically) helping them become empowered by it will stop the pain and anger, though, if that's your goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 04:05 PM
3

Arch really should have kept his mouth closed. Any info you give a girl will eventually be weaponized when it suits her, not that he cares.. Did I miss some drama recently?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 03:58 PM
2

Not wanting to get married and not wanting to have kids means that you are young, not that you are somehow alternative. Generally speaking, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 03:50 PM
1

Why? Because you haven't done enough research so you can't make any distinctions? That's user error, not a bug in RP.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 03:46 PM
3

So long as he is ok-looking and has a functioning dick, a woman can always train him to be dominant. Why on earth would a woman waste her time on an ok-looking guy who she has to train to be dominant? Sounds like she is unattractive with few options, as, IME, most high-value women do not respect 'fixer-uppers' and avoid them if they can. They'll just go find a 'real man' instead. This also presumes the woman has a proactive sex drive and a high turn-offs threshold, two things that are not charac…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 03:43 PM
3

When sex is seen as positive, and relationships are seen as negative, then the qualities that are useful in getting sex will be seen as positive, and the qualities that are useful for getting relationships will be seen as negative, no? Add to that the fact that qualities that are useful for getting relationships (what a lot of TRPers don't want) can be directly detrimental to/at cross-purposes with the qualities that are useful for getting sex (what every TRPer wants), and you can see why the fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 02:39 PM
1

Why does someone who posts a completely diffeeent attitude or approach also get upvoted? (I've seen that - real example)) They can't both be RP, right? So why are they both being upvoted, and which is RP?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 02:10 PM
1

'Purposely' is different from 'self-consciously.' I'm not conscious of what I'm doing while I am doing it. That's what makes it 'natural.' But what I do is a result of the way I see things, the choices I make, and what I have 'trained' myself to do (as well as what women have 'trained' me to do - let's not forget that important point). So what I do absolutely has a purpose (several related purposes actually, in this case), even if my actions flow naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 07:11 AM
1

You didn't call me hypocritical. I probably read that accusation into these comments No offense I just think it's strange you feel comfortable advising people on something you weren't able to achieve. my confusion at your confidence in giving advice that you're unable to apply to your own life. and This is like a currently obese person trying to advise people on how to lose weight because they lost weight once before. My mistake. You probably just meant that I was talking out of my ass. Which is…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 05:47 AM
1

That which impresses and commands true respect and admiration. Leadership can often create that, and dominance is generally the result of that. And, yes, pushover is the complete opposite of that. No one is impressed by pushovers, they certainly command no respect, and no one admires one's ability to be pushed over, lol...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 12:59 AM
1

I treat adults as adults. I'm guessing that that statement isn't as simple in actual practice as it sounds, if for no other reason than the term 'adult' is so general that it provides no real information. But one nuance I should point out is this - the treatment I articulated is not some overt thing. It's more of an attitudinal disposition, and it generally only appears when analyzing after the fact. In the moment, I'm just doing what feels most natural. It's not like, in the moment, I'm thinkin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 12:49 AM
1

It's obvious to me that most well-rounded, LTR-quality men should exhibit both alpha and beta traits. That's obvious even to RPers. They say so all the time. Now, for many men - especially men who find RP helpful - the 'alpha' part of that equation is both the most important and the most challenging to maintain. I've always been quite 'beta-heavy' in life. Even my being my version of 'extreme alpha' just brings me to about the optimal balance. My wife has never complained that I'm too 'alpha.' S…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/17 12:41 AM
1

It does not work for me I do not like it. I don't suggest that you start treating women like you might a child, then. Here's the thing - if that approach is in reality a failed one, guys will probably stop using it, no? At least, the guys who are actually interested in being successful, and not the defeatists who have most likely already given up and will use their failure as yet another reason to write off women and MGTOW. I know I sure would. :shrug:
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 10:06 PM
1

it sounds like you think TRP is ultimately ineffective for most men. Really? That's not how I see it at all. All I think I'm saying is that the guys who need it are unlikely to become monsters because of it (whether because it isn't in their natures or because they will never have the opportunity). It's like the 'teach men not to rape' argument - the men who listen to that message and take it to heart are probably not the men who actually need to get the message and take it to heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 09:42 PM
1

Do you think business owners don't understand why their businesses failed? Like, if they only knew that they took on too much debt and misread the market and failed to implement an efficient supply chain, that knowledge would allow them to become financially solvent again? That business owners who declare bankruptcy do so because they don't know why their business failed? You seem to think that understanding why a failure happened is the critical missing piece in fixing that failure. I don't thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 09:32 PM
1

When a person has only a vague understanding of how to overcome LMR, that could be very dangerous. Especially if they just take the word "smash" at face value. While I agree in theory, in practice I'm less concerned, given the kind of guys who populate the messiness that is TRP. I don't think the kinds of uber 'betas' at whom TRP is directed - the kind of overly sensitive and self-conscious 'betas' that are scared of and overly cautious and 'respectful' around women - are ever going to grow ball…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 09:24 PM
1

They say often that they like to be treated as people, yet RP guys missed that and get it from TRP as "women are children" and other things. Except that TRP is written by guys and for guys. Do you think that maybe guys have a different perspective on what it means to treat women 'like people'? Maybe guys take a different approach to accomplishing that than a woman would, because, you know, guys aren't women. You could take a play out of the RP handbook and go with, "Don't listen to what they say…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 09:03 PM
1

Clearly, women aren't "fucking alphas" and "beta bucking" or whatever. Clearly? I think it's fairly clear that they are. Ask any guy who has been in a relationship for a lengthy period of time about the quality of his sex life. They are "fucking and marrying" alpha/beta mixes. Right. And that mix determines how much any given guy is experiencing 'fucking' and how much he is just experiencing 'married life'. I've been, at times, more alpha and less alpha. The quantity and quality of my sex life h…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 03:24 PM
2

don't pedestalI've women Where have you seen this, and more importantly, where have you seen how to accomplish this? Saying, "Don't pedestalize women' is like saying, 'don't be brainwashed' - saying it is worthless without finding some way to accomplish it, especially for those who are actually brainwashed...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 02:50 PM
5

the way you describe it does sound like amused mastery by being able to swat away shit test LMR. The amused mastery for me was literally that - 'I have seen this so many times, I know the drill, I know what is actually going on, I can probably even predict the next thing you are going to say. We all know how this is going to end - can we get on with it now, please, instead of continuing this silliness? If we hurry, maybe we can even get a few hours of sleep, too...' when you say you never let th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:40 AM
1

As it has been pointed out, men are always a mix of alpha/beta traits. Yes, that is what RP says, as well as lots of non-RP folks. How does that affect the argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:29 AM
2

Everyone needs to distinguish between the drive and the actions that result from the drive. They aren't the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:23 AM
2

Okay, so if it is not hypergamy, what makes women so much more selective in their desire than men? What makes their turn-offs so much stronger (as is reported even by women on PPD)?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:21 AM
2

The drive is the same, though. What makes women act in the former instance doesn't magically disappear forever when she actually gets married, any more than a man's desire for lots of women magically disappears once he has a wedding ring out on his finger. There is a difference between the drive (something that is more consistent across the population) and the actions taken as a result (which varies greatly from individual to individual).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:19 AM
2

surveys indicate that divorced women usually don't even want to remarry Really? I would like to see them. The only women I know who feel like this are women 40+ years old (or wome who have divorced more than once). The younger, more attractive ones absolutely get divorced hoping to 'get it right the second time.'
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:13 AM
3

I've rarely, if ever, seen a woman divorce without having someone else lined up (and more than a few times they start with that someone else before finally calling it finished with the marriage). Now, that picture will often change dramatically once the woman is actually single (rather than the exciting promise of NSA sex she was when she was married but looking for side action), especially if she is a mother, but many women don't know about that in advance. I've never known an attractive woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 07:10 AM
1

Heartiste Roissey is a hugely controversial figure even on TRP, where (at least a year or two ago) many of the TRP vanguard were specifically distancing themselves from him (and encouraging others to do likewise). 'Heartiste = everything RP' is just not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 06:52 AM
2

AF/BB is just the RP description of the dualistic nature of human sexuality, something that has been observed for millennia and is a widely accepted concept amongst sexologists and other observers of human mating strategy. AF/BB should be the least controversial concept in RP. The fact that so many dismiss it makes me wonder how much research they have actually done on the subject of human sexual strategy...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 06:48 AM
7

Holy fuck! A blue who actually understands LMR and overcoming it (moreso than even a lot of reds, I would say). I think I need to mark the calendar or something, lol. I certainly should have read this before writing my own dissertative response, lol... You don't even have to agree with it or condone it or defend it or anything - I care less about that stuff. Just the fact that you actually present it in it's original form is astounding enough. Kudos and thank you! Now, if we can everyone else to…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 05:22 AM
3

Yes, but how do you know you disagree with/dislike RP as a whole and not just all the mess caused by literally allowing anyone and everyone to post there? TRP is a mess. There are usually only two ways I approach TRP. Either I go there out of curiosity/to be entertained, or I use the various search functions to look for the more lucid stuff. I probably wouldn't even have red flair if my only knowledge of RP came from TRP. I came to TRP after I had already been learning about it elsewhere - that'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 05:08 AM
5

My quickest summary... When LMR goes up, 'maintain frame' (don't get thrown, don't play her game) and show your self-control (and self-respect) by stopping the action cold. Take her at her word, but you can throw in some 'amused mastery' and/or 'agree-and-amplify' to drive the point home. And make sure it's playful (you are maintaining frame) and not passive-aggressive or butthurt (both would indicate a lose of control/frame). There is nothing more intriguing to a woman than a man whom they can'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 04:17 AM
3

If an RP man is saying things that they believe are RP how am I supposed to know which ones are actually saying RP stuff? Are you considering the source? Anyone can claim to be RP. Even more can sound like they might be RP. My advice to anyone who is serious is to back way the fuck up and make sure they understand the fundamentals as they were laid down years ago in the manosphere (and even beyond that). There are a lot of recommended reading lists that provide good source material (a lot of whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 03:58 AM
1

I have a few friends who are awkwardly charming/who have learned to play their own awkwardness for laughs in a way that's really captivating That describes my wife. She used to get more mileage out of a totally awkward cringey facepalm of a social faux pas than I could ever get out of even my most suave and debonair moments. It's like this freakish superpower. Really quite unfair...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 03:44 AM
1

In fact, I said that the better coach would be someone who has failed completely but recovered Another counter-argument - someone who has failed completely and can recognize and articulate exactly why they failed completely (such that others can learn from their example what not to do) would still be providing some value, wouldn't they? I have never been anything but completely honest about my situation, even when I'm totally anonymous (like here, where no one can hold me accountable). I know I …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 03:35 AM
3

I have been told many times by rp men All RP men are created equal. Always verify the source if you actually are interested. Which, granted, most aren't. At least, not interested in anything except those things that confirm their bias. it is total crap. 'Tis true. If what they are saying was actually true, TRP could just rename itself /r/fitness and call it a day. This is the problem with looking at 'self-improvement' in purely circumstantial terms. Something that can be assumed to be confidence…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 03:21 AM
2

Missed this You have a part-time job that takes up most of your time? You said all you have time for is work nowadays. Work is work. A lot of my work is unpaid. When I'm not at my job, I'm trying to keep my house, garage, and everything in them clean and running while also trying to keep my family fed, clothed, rested, and thriving, as well as spending a lot of needed one-on-one time with my son. It's a 24/7 demand, and I've been trying to keep up with it for several years now. If someone has an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 02:17 AM
1

I don't think it's that difficult to lose weight. It doesn't take any extra time - simply exchange what you're eating for something healthier. In my case, I know exactly the kind of diet (when combine with hard exercise) I neee the to have - almost no grains (oatmeal with walnuts and protein powder in the morning is okay), little dairy, under 50g carbs a day, and lots of veggies and lean(ish) protein. Nuts for snacks is good, My problem is that I have to cook for my whole family, and that diet w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 01:42 AM
1

Sorry, but what is stopping you from eating less and choosing healthier options? Time? Money? Structure? Where do you want me to begin? Some days I barely eat at all, which can be just as problematic, but I don't really have time or I don't really think about it until I slow down. You advise both people in the relationship on how to have more power? Yep. And I'm not sure why you find it difficult to understand my confusion at your confidence in giving advice that you're unable to apply to your o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 12:24 AM
4

Yes, pick a super specific person with only negative personality traits. A guy that sounds almost like one of my exes if you subtract the neediness and neurosis, but ok, let's use that. Huh? What are you talking about? I presented a list of universally unattractive qualities that, if they are present in a man such that they might characterize him, will make him universally less attractive. The point being - if there are universally agreed upon 'unattractive' qualities, how is it even possible th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/17 12:08 AM
7

it's just the mindset and application that differ wildly. I agree. And that mindset and application (which I've seen done wrong a lot on TRP) is the key to it's success. I think 'nos' should always be taken seriously, too, even if they are 'kidding' (and while LMR isn't usually 'kidding', it's also usually not serious, either). But, as with most things in life, the manner in which you respond is what is critical, more critical than what you actually do or say (having seen it go both ways many ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 11:56 PM
3

Not all women are attracted to the same thing. That is why RP only works on a certain group of women. This is such bullshit. Find me a woman who thinks a man who is characterized as neurotic, insecure, unambitious, weak, emotionally volatile, broke, unhappy, flabby, or needy is attractive, and I'll buy your argument. Otherwise, there are all kinds of qualities that are attractive to almost every straight woman. Making women feel relaxed and comfortable is often nice, but not anything I have hear…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 10:55 PM
7

Isn't the whole issue surrounding LMR that guys and their ability to tell whether an "LMR" is a genuine "no" or not? The 'freeze-out' (deftly executed, of course) is (or at least was) the overwhelmingly advocated response to LMR. In that case, it doesn't matter if the no is genuine or not - the response effectively accommodates any type of resistence. Genuine? The evening ends and both individuals part ways. Not genuine? The evening ends with fucking. I continually fail to see how this could be …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 10:43 PM
1

Surely the largest majority of them are. It's the simplest explanation. No, it's not. I'm overweight right now, and I swear it takes everything in my power to keep from decking those people who say, "Well, you just have to make it a priority and then you'll do it! No excuses!" Such smug atttitudes piss me the fuck off. The whole point of priorities is that not everything can be a priority. I'm sleep-deprived and exhausted most of the time in life. Pretty much all I do is work (with occasional PP…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 08:36 PM
5

Because, yes, this thread succinctly represents what TRP is all about. RP doesn't really get into much else besides this sort of thing... /s
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 06:07 PM
4

I agree, and would point out that there seem to exist two valid uses of AWALT as well. One is the 'AWALT as general warning' and 'AWALT as an understanding of female nature.' The former has less stringent requirements than the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 04:51 PM
5

Talk about statements resulting from cherry-picking... :smh:
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/17 04:35 PM
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