TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

santarosa2020 Archive

View 2 posts and 192 comments by santarosa2020 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

santarosa2020/r/RedPillWives20/01/22 10:02 PM
7

santarosa2020/r/RedPillWives31/05/21 04:50 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

If your husband isn't in control of his sex life, how can you expect him to lead your family? One of the first things that attracted me to my husband was that he didn't sleep around. My husband prioritizes taking care of the family, not getting sex from multiple women. My husband likes to help out our elderly relatives. A man who spends time sleeping with other women would never have time for that. What happens when he gives you an STD? How can you trust him to "vet" these women if he's already …
/r/RedPillWives31/03/23 10:40 PM
2

I have a neighbor relationship question. My husband and I are very traditional. Our neighbors are the opposite. They get into fights on their front lawn and are unable to handle in even small life problems without yelling. The husband hasn't worked in years and expects his wife to "support" him. The husband discourages his wife from having relationships with her family members because they all voted for opposite political parties. The husband has zero relations with his own family because he got…
/r/RedPillWives24/08/22 05:04 PM
1

This is a mental health issue. Showering only once a week is not normal behavior. Has he always been like this or is this a recent change in behavior?
/r/RedPillWives01/08/22 12:57 AM
1

Socialize only with families that have tidy homes. If you know families that have untidy homes and still want to socialize invite them to your home ONLY. I don't want my children getting the idea that clutter is okay. Less stuff. Seriously, don't save junk and don't have a lot of knick knacks because it makes cleaning more difficult. Don't have bins because bins attract clutter, same with too many drawers. Teach everyone over the age of 4 to put things away. Have a clean up time every night. Eve…
/r/RedPillWives12/07/22 02:20 AM
1

Having sex after a couple of dates is much too soon. Here's why: - You're putting yourself in danger. You can't possibly get to know someone in 2 dates. He might have an STD. He might be violent. He might take photos of you and spread them around. - You're making yourself into "not wifely material". Men want to protect their future children, if you had sex after 2 dates he is going to question what you might do with his future children. Will you let them walk to the park alone at age 3? Will you…
/r/RedPillWives18/06/22 06:03 PM
1

You just need to concentrate on living responsibly today. Men value a partner who acts responsibly. When it comes to marriage, your past actions will not speak as loudly as your choices today. For example, I had a friend who was chaste and then fell head over heels for a doctor. She willingly gave up her values for him and he didn't respect her much for it. The relationship lasted 2 months. It didn't matter to him that her body count was 1, it mattered that she had no values in front of him. I h…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/22 06:13 AM
3

Cheating is physical and emotional. You protect against it by picking a husband with self control and continuing to have high standards after the marriage. I would rather not be married than get married to a man who can't control himself.
/r/RedPillWives28/04/22 05:15 PM
13

Of course I would care if my husband cheated and I hope that you would care also if yours cheated. A cheating husband draws resources and attention away from the family. Being a stay at mom if all about putting the maximum resources towards the family. One way that is accomplished is by ensuring a strong marriage. A strong marriage starts in the dating phase. We have to stand up say "No!" to men with porn problems, men who have poor self control, and men with self esteem problems. These are all …
/r/RedPillWives28/04/22 05:05 PM
1

Try to schedule volunteer work for times you might overeat. In my early 20s I had a roommate who did this. She went from being obese to a healthy weight in under a year. She used to overeat mainly on weekends, so she scheduled herself for food sorting on Saturday mornings, Habit for Humanity projects for later in the day, and then did volunteering at her church nursery on Sundays. She made a few good friendships from all this volunteering too. The best part was that she was able to help others a…
/r/RedPillWives01/04/22 11:58 PM
5

You can't change a man. You can only decide what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate. It sounds like this man isn't spending enough time with you to qualify for being your boyfriend. Who he is friends with doesn't really matter so much. What matter is that he is not paying you the amount of attention you want a romantic partner to pay you. Before I dated my husband, I dated several men who didn't meet my requirements. The best thing I did I was to end these relationships quickly. I …
/r/RedPillWives12/03/22 09:03 PM
7

With toddlers sometimes the house will be messy. Sometimes there will not be time for even a shower with babies in the house. The best thing you can do is to get into a routine. For example, make it a must to clean up for at least 5 minutes before your husband gets home from work. Sometimes you'll be able to clean for 15 minutes and that will be a victory, but even just 5 minutes is something good. Try to do one fun thing with the children each day. You might walk to the park or sing a song in t…
/r/RedPillWives18/02/22 06:51 PM
2

If you want to be a stay at home mom you need to vet your future husband well. Watch what he says about his sisters, aunts, mom, etc. Find out if he is addicted to porn. Try to test how hard a worker he is. Does he play video games? Does he eat junk food? You've got to be careful, but being a stay at home mom is possible. Also it's important that your husband puts away retirement funds in your name. If he can't afford this then he can't afford a stay at home wife.
/r/RedPillWives18/02/22 04:55 AM
12

I'll give you the same advice I would give to my daughter if she were in a similar situation, you need to slow things waaaaaay down. You have a friendship and you've been on a few dates and he has clearly stated he does not want to date long distance. You are now considering moving to where he is. This is crazy and way too soon. If this young man is truly interested he will find a way to move closer to you or will consider dating you long distance. Give him some time to sort out his feelings and…
/r/RedPillWives13/02/22 03:25 AM
2

Moving is always an option if it puts you near by a better church. Also does your husband still have a porn problem? Porn is an absolute no-no for a successful marriage. A man who is addicted to porn is not able to follow redpill because he is a slave to the porn. This is something a good church can help him with.
/r/RedPillWives11/02/22 07:17 PM
3

If both you and your husband don't have deep friendships at this church it might be better to find a different church where you can both have deep friendships. Deep friendships are one way that you will feel wanted and needed, even when things are not going well in your family life. It's also important to be attending a church where you can be honest in your struggles. That is a big part of church life.
/r/RedPillWives11/02/22 05:50 PM
3

You need to do more than just what your husband is asking you to do. You need to figure out how you're going to stop yourself from cheating and getting hooked on drug in the future. What lead up to you cheating? What would you differently next time if those same or different stressors happened in your life? Being part of a church is a good thing, but just because it's a "conservative" church doesn't mean it will prevent you from doing bad things. Do you have strong relationships with the people …
/r/RedPillWives11/02/22 05:23 PM
18

Well if finances are still tight it might be best not to hold him to this promise and instead go as a couple. Bringing children to a wedding can be difficult. My husband and I agreed long ago that we go to weddings as a couple and don't bring the children unless it is one of our siblings getting married.
/r/RedPillWives06/02/22 05:54 PM
15

Why do all 4 of you have to go? Why couldn't your parents or your husband's parents babysit the children and you and your husband attend the wedding?
/r/RedPillWives06/02/22 05:49 PM
1

This is not appropriate content for this group.
/r/RedPillWives29/01/22 10:05 PM
1

I didn't know about red pill until the last couple years. I've been married for over a decade and I'm a full time homemaker. My husband and I have children. I don't like some of what I see on the men's red pill forums. Some of it is men who are not stepping up to the plate and taking control of their lives and who want to put the blame on women for all their problems. Some of the writing on red pill is good though. We need to start stepping things up as a culture and stop with these nonsense ide…
/r/RedPillWives22/01/22 09:25 PM
12

Sex is something best reserved for marriage. Sex often leads to children and being married helps to form a secure situation to raise these children. It's good to start talking about sex and expectations once you get engaged. Men and women should tell their partner if they have had sexual abuse and work on resolving their issues with the past abuse with counseling before marriage. Porn use should also be talked about before marriage. It's very difficult to have a healthy sex life with porn use an…
/r/RedPillWives22/01/22 05:04 PM
18

A big part of red pill is that the man has responsibilities too. Red pill isn't just about saying "hahaha women are fat and lazy". For example, earning the bulk of the income in the relationship is the man's duty. Does his income cover all your household expenses? Perhaps he's being insecure because he isn't fulfilling these responsibilities. You've been married for less than a year, so it won't become apparent to him for some times the problems with him not being able to cover all the household…
/r/RedPillWives20/01/22 08:57 PM
0

You will start to look better within a week of starting exercise and proper diet. This is because exercise and a healthy diet improves your blood flow and makes the skin look good. The best advice is to start eating healthier and exercising today. For healthier diet, just start with small changes that you can realistically keep up. Try to do the same with exercise. 30 minutes of walking a day is better than 3 hours at the gym if you can keep up the walking across years.
/r/RedPillWives06/01/22 10:18 PM
3

Oh and I forgot to mention, if you're involved in a church, there's something new called "singles hike". My husband and I are schedule to lead one this March. We are inviting singles to hike at a local park and we'll all have a picnic afterwards. There might be something similar at your church, as I've seen them at several friends' churches during covid. My friend's niece met someone at her church singles hike in August 2020 and they just got engaged.
/r/RedPillWives05/01/22 10:14 PM
8

The best dating app is volunteer work. Pick a cause like feeding the hungry or cleaning up the park. You will meet lots of worthy men volunteering and it won't cost any money. During covid, outdoor volunteer events seem to be the most popular. I took my kids to do a beach clean up a few weeks ago and there were a lot of men and women in their 20s at the event.
/r/RedPillWives05/01/22 10:10 PM
12

I don't think entering nun mode is a good idea in this situation. I believe the problem here is that you are in "wife mode", but you're not married. Husbands get a warm breakfast on the weekends, boyfriends get to take you out to dinner on the weekends. Husbands get "adult time", boyfriends get kisses. Husbands get a clean house, boyfriends get to clean their own homes. Honestly I'm not sure this man would even qualify for "girlfriend mode". For the sake of the children, you need to sit down wit…
/r/RedPillWives02/01/22 02:12 AM
4

You need to do more than just talk about this with your future husband, you need to observe how he treats older women in general. One way I knew my husband would treat me well after childbirth was because of the way he treated his mother and also his older sister (who had children before we were married). My husband often helped out at his sister's house during her pregnancies, even helping her husband to build a wheelchair ramp when she had complications after a pregnancy. My husband never made…
/r/RedPillWives31/12/21 05:23 PM
10

Your husband is able to father a child, he is just not able to have a biological child. My husband and I have several dear friends that are infertile. Infertility doesn't preclude a person from being a father or a mother. As for what you should do for the situation at hand, you know what must be done. You need to quit the job at the cafe and make sure the strange man doesn't have a way to contact you. A man with good intentions would never flirt with a married woman.
/r/RedPillWives27/12/21 04:19 AM
6

Was your husband like this when you married him? Was his son allowed to disrespect you during the time you were dating and getting to know each other?
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 11:53 PM
12

Why would you degrade yourself by smiling at something insulting that a child says to you? I think it's time to sit down with your husband and discuss the problem. You should not be insulted by others, especially by family members in your own home. My sons are well behaved, but my husband has a brother who has children that have been "raised by wolves" as the saying goes. Whenever these children do things that are not appropriate by husband is 90% of the time the one to take action and correct t…
/r/RedPillWives26/12/21 08:04 AM
1

You're only been with this man for a year (not even a full year because you broke up for 2 months), why are you living together this soon? It's important to let a relationship develop slowly and to really get to know the man. A man in debt is going to have a difficult time being a leader of himself, let alone others. My husband and I got to know each other slowly. We dated for 2 years before becoming engaged. We lived together only after marriage. During our 2nd year of dating, we started talkin…
/r/RedPillWives19/12/21 10:56 PM
12

If you've only been together for a year and he's already bringing up potentially being poly (even though he later said it was just fantasy talk) I would be very careful with continuing this relationship further. Perhaps his trying to get you to have drinks with his former fling was a very of trying to get you into a poly relationship. It's also problematic that he's encouraging you to drink when you don't want to drink. A man doesn't just automatically become the leader in a relationship, he nee…
/r/RedPillWives19/12/21 08:58 PM
6

Do you have a priest or pastor at your church you could talk to about this? I would be concerned that maybe this is not the right man to marry. He is pushing you towards sin and not being grateful that you have put a lot of work into keeping your relationship free of sexual sin.
/r/RedPillWives18/12/21 11:38 PM
2

Sorry to hear that you're had Bell palsy. Yes it is debilitating condition.
/r/RedPillWives14/12/21 12:07 AM
1

It's unfair to expect a man to magically change into someone different after marriage. You knew he had these traits and behaviors and you made a decision to marry him anyway. Now you need to figure out how to live with these behaviors. For the cleaning problem, can you hire outside help? My husband and I hire a cleaning service and it's helpful because it gives me more time to focus on our children. Even hiring someone for 2 hours a week might make a big difference in your home. Your husband's s…
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 06:35 PM
14

Sadly, there tends be general lack of empathy towards anyone who has a bad reaction to the covid vaccine. There is a young man up the street from us who got Bell's Palsy after his vaccination for covid. My husband and I have been helping him and trying to get others involved, but everyone seems to either blame this young man or not believe that he was injured. It's terrible when people don't take illness seriously or try to minimize other's pain. I'm glad that you are taking your husband's illne…
/r/RedPillWives13/12/21 06:27 PM
-1

The best ways to help a depressed husband are to make healthy food for him to eat and to encourage him to exercise. While he is out exercising, it can also be helpful to make "depression causers" more difficult to access. "Depression causers" are things like video games, porn, junk food, etc. For example, if he has a video game console, make that room uncomfortable (by making it colder than the rest of the house or adding an uncomfortable chair). Use common sense to figure out what his "depressi…
/r/RedPillWives03/12/21 04:56 PM
14

Of course he should not subsidise your studies, but you also should not be purchasing his food and cooking for him all the time. You're giving this man all the benefits of marriage without any responsibilities. The lamps and rugs for the flat will become presents for his next girlfriend. He's going to try to keep things this way as long as he can. He gets presents, doesn't have to give hardly any, gets free food, free house project labor and more. He's going to keep it going until you put a stop…
/r/RedPillWives19/11/21 07:14 PM
6

Some mess with children is normal, especially when there are babies and toddlers at home. Having help is good and I use a cleaner myself, just to give myself more time to spend with the children. Children age 4 and above can start to help with the household chores. I started this with my children by having them help me to clean up messes they had made. It takes longer than just cleaning it yourself, but the children do learn and eventually they know not to dump piles of clothes on the floor beca…
/r/RedPillWives21/09/21 07:17 PM
-2

Do you need to work? Sometimes it's better to economize and have only the husband work. Are there things you and your husband would be willing to give up so that you could leave your job and focus more on the family? If you must work, could you find a job that's work from home or a less stressful part time job? There are a lot of companies seeking help today, so lots of potential new jobs.
/r/RedPillWives21/09/21 01:03 AM
2

But does it promote the learning of wife and mothering skills? Spending all that time of coming up with a dating system seems like a bad idea to me. When women are young we need to be spending time developing skills for our future marriage, if that is the path we are choosing.
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 03:17 PM
9

I don't understand FDS. It seems better to have a system for becoming a good wife and mother, not a system for becoming a good dater.
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 06:38 AM
1

Would your husband be open to you quitting your job and becoming a housewife? It sounds like you are contributing a lot from being at home. Good food, exercising, and spending with our spouse are all important things.
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 04:48 PM
1

It's easy for women to attract men for casual sex, so I don't think a high standard of beauty is needed. Men aren't going to turn down a woman who wants to have sex without commitment, even if she's not magazine level pretty. Attracting husband level men is a lot harder though. When a man is thinking of marrying, he's looking to see if the woman is healthy and if she keeps up with her appearance. He's not willing to put in commitment unless he's getting the best woman he can.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 10:10 PM
11

Marriage means stability for men. My husband knows he has a wife to come home to, that our children are well cared for while he is working, and that I can help him with caring for family members. My husband doesn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. He also has someone to hold him accountable. Someone to discuss problems with. Someone to share life's joys and sorrows with. In return, my husband provides the income for our family. He is faithful to me. He's willing to lead our family, espec…
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 05:27 PM
1

His wife seems willing to go along with it. She's being told constantly that she's lucky her husband supports her working. Also their lives seem pretty chaotic, so I doubt she spends much time stopping to think deeply about her life. I feel bad for her sometimes when they are visiting because she seems so impressed by the little things my husband does for me, like fixing me a plate of food while I'm caring for our younger child or when he took the trash out while I was cooking because the can wa…
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 04:30 PM
2

I have a similar situation to yours. I love my husband and would never trade my time with him for casual sex. I do see why it appeals to the younger people though. Casual sex is easier than putting the work in to find a worthy partner. If you wait, you might have times where you feel undesirable. I know I felt like this in high school, when everyone was dating and I wasn't (my husband I met and married in our early 20s after college). Casual sex can make people feel desired right now. I think ca…
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 04:24 PM
1

Yes it drives me crazy. Anytime they come over my husband's cousin tries to "liberate me" by getting me to sign up for one of his wife's MLM schemes. I'm a stay at home mom, so of course I just say "not interested". I feel really bad for my husband's cousin's wife. Her husband is constantly saying how "supportive" he is of her working, but I can tell he does nothing to actually help. He has no job, does no housework, doesn't mow the lawn (because of sexism), and doesn't even feed or walk the dog…
/r/RedPillWives08/09/21 04:06 PM
1

We seek to control others when we have poor control of ourselves. When I'm eating well, getting enough exercise, and being disciplined about my sleep schedule, I'm far less likely to try to control how my husband does things. In rarer cases, feeling the need to control others can stem from surrounding ourselves with people who are not sensible. I find myself nagging my husband after his cousin and his wife come to visit. They are very non-sensible people. Just watching them for a few hours sets …
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 10:39 PM
5

I was really worried about finding a therapist too, so my husband booked a therapy appointment for me with someone online. I did it over the telephone, but she had an option of using Zoom also. She gave me a lot of good tips to use when things get stressful and also some strategies to use when deciding how to react to bad situations. It's helped a lot and I'm no longer on medication.
/r/RedPillWives04/09/21 02:12 AM
4

Thank you for your honesty. It's hard to talk about mental health and it helps when people speak publicly about their experiences. I had to briefly take medication for my anxiety during covid. My husband realized I needed help after I began easily being startled. I would jump when a leaf landed on my head, when my son surprised me with a crayon drawing or when the UPS person knocked on the door. He and I talked about it and I realized I had reached a high level of anxiety during the pandemic wit…
/r/RedPillWives03/09/21 05:13 PM
1

I love the Mama Bear Apologetics blog, especially the posts on how to talk to JWs that come to the door. Very helpful! Apologetics are something I want to try to work with my children on this coming school year. For the first part of 2021, we've been working on showing a friendly face to those we meet on walks and also on helping neighbors. I've realized though that my children are needing better training on apologetics because sometimes people have really weird ideas and I want my children to b…
/r/RedPillWives31/08/21 02:28 AM
5

No it is not. You need to learn some history. This ebook is disrespectful and does not promote true redpill views. It uses a bad word for black people. It promotes beauty as being only white. These are not redpill views.
/r/RedPillWives24/08/21 01:02 AM
1

This is a very bad book! I wouldn't want my children worshiping multiple gods and clotheslining the neighbors!
/r/RedPillWives23/08/21 08:52 PM
0

This book also is promoting worshiping different gods. It says key necklaces promote the god Freya. I am going to look at my daughters' jewelry boxes and make sure we don't have any of this nonsense in our house. Not good!
/r/RedPillWives23/08/21 07:15 PM
3

You may not have children now, but you might have children in the future or perhaps need to care for other family members. Having the wife stay at home helps with caring for children or other family members. Depending on your situation, you might work part time, own a business, work from home, or even have a full time job if your situation allows for it. I'm a stay at home mom and I assure you that I get lots of mental stimulation, learning, and growth everyday that I'm at home with my children.
/r/RedPillWives22/08/21 01:48 AM
1

I'm glad you're out of a bad situation and are safe now. When you do bring up the divorce to dates, be sure to mention the annulment. This will let a date know that you are a potential future wife. The best places to meet men are through sensible friends and family members. You can make sensible friends at church, volunteering, and through activity groups. Try to avoid things like speed dating, bars, or groups specifically for singles. Things like those tend to attract men who are not yet ready …
/r/RedPillWives21/08/21 06:13 PM
2

The coffee is a good idea for if he wakes up on time. When my husband was stressed with some family and work problems, I started making him a big breakfast on Saturday mornings. Maybe try making a big breakfast on the days he doesn't need to get up for work if he still wakes up early. Waking up at the same time everyday does help.
/r/RedPillWives21/08/21 04:22 PM
7

It sounds like your husband is pretty far gone into laziness, so it may take a few years to totally solve the problem. The thing to do when a husband is being lazy is not to reward lazy behavior. For example, when he gets up and leaves on time for work, have a lunch ready to go for him. When he goes to work late, don't have a lunch for him. When your husband plays video games, make the home environment uncomfortable. If it's winter, turn down the heat or in the summer turn down the AC. Don't pre…
/r/RedPillWives21/08/21 04:00 PM
5

I think it's wonderful that you've come back to the church and also are getting spiritual direction. Please don't wait until everything is prefect in your marriage to get married in the church. No marriage is perfect, but being married in the church is the right thing to do. Tattoos and length of hair are not the most important things to feel feminine. Feminine is an attitude and a joyfulness about life. You can be joyful now because you're turned towards God. So start being joyful today! Joyful…
/r/RedPillWives19/08/21 03:46 PM
4

A lot of men prefer a high school degree to a GED. This is because your future husband will want you to be able to help the children with schoolwork, including those in high school. I highly recommend trying to get a high school degree. I'm a stay at home mom who has a college degree. It's good that you are planning for being a future wife and mother. One of the best things you can do towards that aim is to get off platforms like TikTok. Services like TikTok promote a lot of values that are the …
/r/RedPillWives17/08/21 08:20 PM
0

You need to cut out the extra things, like boy scouts and girl scouts. Extra activities for the children can not be a priority if the housework and cooking are not being completed. What are the children doing to help out? If they are old enough for boy scouts and girl scouts, they are old enough to help clean and cook. Start by teaching them simple tasks like dish washing, vacuuming, laundry, and dusting. Next teach them to do simple prep work in the kitchen, like chopping veggies and fruits. Ho…
/r/RedPillWives16/08/21 11:55 PM
1

Give him some space to figure this out himself. Keep the house clean, the hot meals ready when he arrives home, and try to have some fun stuff available for him to do in short amounts of time. Some examples of fun stuff might be his favorite magazines on the coffee table, putting a pack of Star Wars trading cards next to his morning coffee, or having the ping pong table all set up for some quick games with the kids on Saturday. Ultimately he can't keep up this pace forever and hopefully he'll co…
/r/RedPillWives16/08/21 11:45 PM
2

Maybe discuss it with her and see if it would work for your family. My husband allocates money for what we call "activity baskets" for the children to be used during this quiet time before dinner. These activity baskets contain fun things like non-messy simple craft projects, hand held video games, and small quiet toys (trading cards, stickers, dolls, building blocks). The activity baskets are only used before dinner time or in emergencies when my husband and I need quiet time for an hour (like …
/r/RedPillWives14/08/21 04:03 AM
2

I try not to watch shows like that. It's easy for that kind of thinking to be slowly absorbed into your life. Shows like that are all about treating partners as "what can provide for me now?". This is both on the part of women and men. The men on the shows like this value the women for "hotness" instead of overall fitness, mothering potential, and partner relationship skills. The women on shows like this value the men for money and hot bodies instead of long term career skills, fatherhood potent…
/r/RedPillWives13/08/21 04:58 PM
18

My husband has a demanding career, but that doesn't mean he refuses to talk to me on weekdays. We have a routine in our house that when dad comes home, all the toys are put away and the children spend time in their rooms with quiet activities for the hour before dinner is served. My husband and I usually enjoy a cool beverage (he likes cool Thai tea drinks) and we talk. I try to keep the conversation light. I never demand to talk about his day or bring up problems with the children, family membe…
/r/RedPillWives13/08/21 04:52 PM
4

I graduated college and worked in a job before I was married. After I married, I left my job, and my husband and I had children. My husband is a high earner and has a demanding career. It would not be possible for me to concentrate on a career even for 15-20 hours a week now. If this is something that is very important to you, I recommend marrying a man who has a less demanding career. This worked out well for a friend of mine who works part time at a non-profit. Her husband is a gardener and ha…
/r/RedPillWives12/08/21 05:47 PM
6

This is what I don't understand. How does a grown man not understand what size bed he is purchasing? Perhaps there are some other issues going on here, like maybe homosexual feelings on his side. He might be trying to get you to sleep in a different bed "accidentally" and then blame lack of "relations" on the bed situation. Either way, this is not a good man. It is never possible to have a fully "equal" relationship and anyone who tries to do so is usually not very mature socially.
/r/RedPillWives07/08/21 09:44 PM
14

The problem here is that you have moved in together too soon and without any commitment on his part. If you are paying for part of the mortgage, you do have places to go. You can easily rent a room for what you are paying your boyfriend. Ask first with friends or family members or at church and then try room rental websites. You will be able to find a room quickly. Buying you birthday and Christmas presents, but not taking you out to eat is not being generous. Also you helping with paying the mo…
/r/RedPillWives07/08/21 05:49 PM
24

No man can be a good husband or father if he is spending time having sex with women other than his wife. Other women are always a drain on resources. Birth control does not work 100% of the time, so additional children might be produced outside the marriage. Even if no additional children are produced, the other women are going to want material things from the man. Also, where will these sexual relations take place? Most likely not at the home, so additional hotel bills or apartment rentals will…
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 01:39 AM
13

A man who is truly "high value" won't cheat. Being loose with sexual discipline means you'll start to be loose with other things like career. If a man wants to be with multiple women, that is called being single. Marriage is for mature men who are disciplined in all aspects of their lives.
/r/RedPillWives02/08/21 05:14 AM
4

I wouldn't agree with this. We are individuals and each have a moral obligation to vote as our morals inform us to. Hopefully most of us are in marriages where we have similar morals to our husbands, but that isn't the case for everyone.
/r/RedPillWives15/07/21 06:34 PM
1

That's an excellent example of encouraging another woman to consider becoming a homemaker or at least to have more respect for other women who are homemakers.
/r/RedPillWives09/07/21 01:51 AM
3

When you are able to, take your mother in law around to several nursing homes. Get cost information on the ones she likes and have it available to present to your husband and his siblings. Be sure to also check state complaints for each nursing home. Even high cost nursing homes can have terrible records. We had a local nursing home in my city that left residents to fend for themselves during a wildfire.
/r/RedPillWives07/07/21 03:37 AM
6

Yes complaining about husbands and children is a terrible thing. It doesn't help to build up our family when we do that. It always saddens me to see other women who think it's funny or "just venting" when it's really tearing apart society by the seams. We need to support our family members whether it's in a public forum or in person.
/r/RedPillWives07/07/21 01:54 AM
3

I'm confused, you mention this is your boyfriend, but then are asking advice for situations involving a husband. Which situation is this? The advice given would differ for a husband vs. a boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWives05/07/21 04:53 PM
3

Are any of the children over age 5? If so, they can help you clean the floors. This is still one of my son's favorite chores! Get 2 baskets, one for clean microfiber cloths and one for dirty. Have the children help with getting as much dirt on the cloth as they can. With boys especially, they like showing off afterwards with how dirty the cleaning cloth gets. Also don't allow food in the living room. It's hard to get food out of a sofa. Make a kid friendly dining place in the kitchen or dining r…
/r/RedPillWives03/07/21 03:37 AM
2

This is beautiful!
/r/RedPillWives03/07/21 01:45 AM
5

That's wonderful! A clean house is a great way to make a husband happy.
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 06:27 PM
2

It's important to focus on the future going forward. How will you plan to stay on budget? Are there things you could give up or reduce costs on? Also how will you plan to make more dinners and keep the house clean? Are there ways to save money on cooking too? How about on cleaning supplies? Making a plan will help keep things on track and avoid disappointing your husband. Also now is a good time to plan what to do if you get off track and how you will get yourself back on track.
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 04:01 PM
2

Again I'd talk to your husband about this. I think he was some valid points. Your mother might be only in her early 50s, but she is a single mother, so there is no backup person to help in an emergency. What if the next emergency wasn't a health one, but an evacuation one? Would the same problems that happened this time crop up next time? What could be done to make things easier for next time?
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 04:01 PM
1

Your husband may be right about the situation. When my husband went to care for an elderly relative out of town, he had to deal with re-homing the relative's dogs. It was a hard choice to make, but if it hadn't have been done the dogs would have suffered and care for his relative would have been impossible. Sometimes men are better at making these hard choices than women are.
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 12:09 PM
2

I would prioritize caring for the children, but 3 dogs is a little much. Could those 3 dogs be cared for at a kennel or could another family member care for them? Also why does your mother have 3 dogs? Being a single parent and having health issues is tough enough without adding 3 pets to the mix. It's important to give your husband some quiet time when he comes home from work. If the children can't go elsewhere, get them some special activities they can do quietly in their rooms when he comes h…
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 05:19 AM
6

There are traditional men everywhere. Work on meeting traditional women and they will introduce you to their traditional sons, grandsons, brothers, uncles, cousins, etc.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/21 04:03 PM
2

Questions 1-3 could be asked before starting dating, especially if it is with a friends first relationship. I knew the answers to questions 1-3 before my husband and I started dating since we were in the same social group. If you did not know each other before dating these questions should be asked on the first couple dates. Question 4 should get asked in the first month of dating and re-asked each month. Question 5 should be asked maybe 6 months into the relationship. 90 days is too soon for co…
/r/RedPillWives28/06/21 06:22 AM
1

One way I let my husband take leadership with the finances is by encouraging him to spend a percentage of his yearly bonus on things he personally wants. Sometimes this means Star Wars collectibles or sometimes it means a fancy grilling station for outdoors. He often wants to save this money for the family, but he provides well for us and so I really push for him to have some things just for himself. I think men are often not encouraged to have private spending money. Paying bills really shouldn…
/r/RedPillWives28/06/21 03:52 AM
8

2 weeks is a long time to go without communication, especially when he indicated that the two of you would get together while you were dropping off resumes. Also most men, if they had to back out of helping you move, would get one of their friends or family members to help you or pay for a mover. It seems like he was giving you a chance to break up with him by asking if you were really okay with long distance. I think long distance is fine if their is a marriage commitment, but there doesn't see…
/r/RedPillWives27/06/21 03:59 PM
13

My husband and I pay the bills and work on taxes together. My husbands reasoning was that I need to know how to do it if something happens to him. He still leads in this activity, but it's fun to do it together. Once a month we get takeout food and pop in a movie for the children and do the bills/taxes/investments. This actually came in handy when he had to go out of town to care for his great uncle. I was able to pay the bills myself, although I did call to ask his advice on one of the bills.
/r/RedPillWives27/06/21 02:44 AM
1

Yes I have several friends from my college years and the same has happened to them. They put a career before their families and are either divorced or close to becoming divorced. My husband doesn't mind me using my degree to help my children with their studies or to pursue volunteer projects, but he wants to come first in my life and doesn't like the hassle of having a household with 2 careers.
/r/RedPillWives26/06/21 02:45 AM
3

It's important to have a degree, preferably from a top university, if you want to marry a man who is a high earner. A career is less necessary. After I earned my college degree, I worked for a few years before marrying my husband. My husband made it clear in the dating process that he was not interested in marrying a woman with a career, as he wanted his future wife to be at home raising the children.
/r/RedPillWives25/06/21 04:36 AM
3

I think being a fun person is great, but only in the right setting. It's good sometimes to lighten the mood during tough times, but encouraging too much fun can sometimes make a man give in to his urges to spend his time unwisely. I hope things get better for your husband with work soon and that you're able to keep him from staying home too much. It's a hard time when these situations come up because we all love our husbands and want them to live a joyful life.
/r/RedPillWives22/06/21 06:33 PM
10

I try to make going to work fun for my husband. I pack him special lunches, especially during covid since it's hard to go out to restaurant for lunch time at work. I also try to greet him coming home from work with a quiet house (children have special activity baskets/toys for when daddy comes home) and something tasty to eat or drink. One of my friends had an issue with her husband wanting to skip work. She immediately shut down sexy time during work hours and made the house a noisy place to be…
/r/RedPillWives22/06/21 05:35 PM
2

To soften water most people buy a whole house water softener system. They cost several thousand dollars, but are worth it if you have hard water. Your hair will look amazing after using the new softened water and household chores become easier too.
/r/RedPillWives20/06/21 09:26 PM
2

I have a friend who has a father like yours. He has a lot of financial problems and has a habit of dating "hot" women instead of forming real relationships. Her father had to move in with her and her husband due to his financial problems. Her father sees the difference between his life and my friend's husband's life and I think it makes him very sad. Sadly, my friend's father still hasn't taken consistent action to change his life. My friend's father makes small changes, but then reverts back to…
/r/RedPillWives20/06/21 07:58 PM
14

Newspaper and Windex will keep the windows clean. Use the newspaper like you would a paper towel and spray the Windex directly onto the newspaper. It's important to teach the children to clean up their messes. Have a place for everything and demonstrate this yourself. I keep a couple baskets under the coffee table shelf for putting children's activity items away in the living room. Don't keep a bunch of items on the kitchen counter. Have shelves for the appliances. The cleaner of clutter the kit…
/r/RedPillWives20/06/21 03:10 PM
4

Teach your children to notice good things around them and compliment people. Don't suggest that they compliment you, just point out the lovely elderly woman who makes a beautiful garden down the street. Have them compliment the garden when they see her outside. Find other people around town and demonstrate this action in front of your children. Eventually your children will start complimenting you too. This gives you validation, children that will be well liked, and a happy home, all without bug…
/r/RedPillWives18/06/21 01:32 AM
15

Firstly, welcome! It's a hard thing to make a switch in opinions. That is truly admirable that you are making good changes in your life. You mentioned that you haven't had healthy relationships in the past. Have you had healthy friendships? You might want to start with healthy friends to form a good base for future dating. No matter where you live, conservative women can be found. Church and volunteering are great places to meet women friends. On sharing passwords, I think it is much to early in…
/r/RedPillWives16/06/21 11:06 PM
2

You might want to find a different therapist. It's good that you are conscious that waiting until 40 for a first child and working a full time job while trying to mother are not good ideas. What other things might this therapist be suggesting that are also bad ideas? Or even perhaps suggesting or enabling bad behavior subconsciously? Nothing good comes from trying to "have it all". It is definitely worth it to make sacrifices so that you can be at home to mother your children. I treasure every m…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/21 12:53 AM
2

My cleaning routine is getting easier as the years go by. I do have paid cleaning help, but my children are taking over more of the cleaning duties each year. We have paid help to clean twice a week and the cleaner does things like floor washing, vacuuming, deep bathroom cleans, windows, etc. Each morning I make the bed and give the bathroom a quick wipe down. My children handle the after breakfast clean up (wiping down counters, washing dishes, putting away extra food, etc.). At first this requ…
/r/RedPillWives08/06/21 01:57 AM
1

I read this book a while ago at the request of a friend who wanted to know if I thought it would be good for her relationship. Honestly it didn't give a lot of tips that actual couples could implement. I agreed with a lot of the ideas, but the writer seems to think it's going to be some hard difficult process to be attracted to your wife or husband. She also seems to think it's some super rare thing for husbands and wives to maintain attraction. I think it would have been better if the author st…
/r/RedPillWives04/06/21 05:01 PM
1

That sounds interesting. I will give it a try tomorrow. I've never been able to do a pushup either. I'm in good shape, but just not with muscles. That's wonderful that you were able to do the pushups!
/r/RedPillWives04/06/21 04:19 AM
2

A good wife is someone who puts her family above other people. She doesn't let friends or other family members (like her parents) come before her husband and children. She is frugal and spends money wisely. She doesn't over indulge in alcohol or food. She serves her wider community and encourages her children to do the same. A good wife works daily on her relationship with Jesus. She reads the Bible. She encourages her family to go to church. She makes religion appealing to her husband by not ov…
/r/RedPillWives03/06/21 01:57 AM
3

Tried this out today and loved it! Thanks for the reccomendation.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/21 03:09 AM
2

This sounds good too. I am on the petite side.
/r/RedPillWives31/05/21 08:04 PM
3

Just checked out Kayla Itsines, I think this would be perfect!
/r/RedPillWives31/05/21 08:03 PM
2

Thank you! I will check it out.
/r/RedPillWives31/05/21 06:10 PM
3

The gym is at his office and usually spouses don't go to this office gym. The body weight is a good idea, like maybe the blogilates videos?
/r/RedPillWives31/05/21 06:09 PM
2

This is excellent advice. Seeing how a man interacts with his roommates will tell you a lot about him.
/r/RedPillWives29/05/21 02:40 PM
13

You can not lose 60 pounds quickly. It needs to be done slowly so that you'll keep up your good health and also be able to keep off the weight. The best thing to do when you have children and eat meals as a family is to make a salad as part of the meal. You can take a larger portion of the salad and less of the other meal items. Avoid bread, potatoes, rice, and pasta. If I want to lose weight I might serve grilled chicken, rice, and a salad. I will only eat the chicken and salad. For exercise, t…
/r/RedPillWives28/05/21 02:06 AM
15

A man protects his family by making sure his wife and children have the best possible care. This might mean being frugal so that he wife can stay at home with the children. It might mean that he doesn't buy a fancy car or video game system. He values his wife and children over possessions. He works hard and doesn't take the "fun job", but instead the job that offers the best protection for his family. A man plans ahead for his family. He maintains the roof before it leaks. He fixes things around…
/r/RedPillWives27/05/21 04:56 PM
16

Have you thought about maybe postponing moving in until after marriage? If you wait until marriage to move in, then you can be a homemaker right from the start. Also how do your parents feel about all this? Do they think he is a good match for you? Has this man been reliable in the past? Is he almost ready for marriage? Most importantly, what does your dad think? I'm probably biased because trial runs of living together never worked out well for my friends who did this. Firstly it didn't paint a…
/r/RedPillWives26/05/21 09:45 PM
5

Being friendly is feminine. Also making other people comfortable is feminine. When you're out in a group setting think about what you can do to be friendly and to make the group more comfortable. Also avoiding gossip. My husband always says nothing is more un-feminine than gossip.
/r/RedPillWives24/05/21 09:57 PM
4

The best motivation I've ever had for keeping fit and eating right is a woman in her 80s at my church. She is vibrant! Every time I see her at a volunteer event or at church, it reminds me that this is end result of years of exercise and healthy eating. She is always so cheerful and she looks amazing for being in her 80s. She's so active and always ready to help out her community. I want to be like her when I'm in my 80s. She made me a lovely magnet once as a Christmas gift a few years back and …
/r/RedPillWives24/05/21 09:54 PM
13

Congratulations! No matter at what age you become a housewife, it is a wonderful thing to do for your family. You won't be a bad wife and mother, as long as you are thoughtful about this transition. You will need to come up with a lot of new routines for housework, childcare, etc. This might be overwhelming at first. It's important to be flexible and not to be afraid to try new things that might work better for your family. Everyone makes mistakes or tries things that don't work, so please don't…
/r/RedPillWives24/05/21 09:49 PM
7

The key is to use the freezer to do partial meal preps once a week. Usually on one day a week my mother in law comes over to spend time with the children and I do some prep work for the week ahead. Cooking beef/chicken and freezing it into meal sized portions makes mealtime during the week easier. This also saves money because you can buy the bigger pieces of meat. Chicken stock can also be frozen. At least once a week I make a meal that can be eaten that night, but also have at least 2 family s…
/r/RedPillWives23/05/21 09:22 PM
11

My husband has 2 days a week that he works from home now because of covid. When covid started, I made the home office a more comfortable place by adding a new comfortable chair and some plants. We now have a rule that the children are not ever allowed inside the home office. This makes it easier to keep them away while he is working and also keeps them from leaving messes in the office. We also purchased a small refrigerator for the home office so that my husband can keep drinks and his lunch in…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/21 09:37 PM
5

Through my friend group. One of my female friends male friends study buddies was my husband :)
/r/RedPillWives21/05/21 10:45 PM
2

I find that I get overly disappointed about small things when I feel like I'm not really being heard by the other person in general. For example, my aunt always "remembers" my favorite foods when those things really aren't my favorite foods. If anyone else did this, I wouldn't be so offended, but my aunt is a poor listener in general, so I'm not really upset about the misremembered "favorite foods" as I am that she still doesn't know me well. Perhaps you're not really mad about the closed cafe, …
/r/RedPillWives21/05/21 05:15 AM
6

Sounds lovely! I love the example link. This could be a wonderful way to encourage other women to have better perspective on relationships and to help them focus on making their families a more pleasant place to be.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/21 03:54 PM
4

Marriage is all about creating a family. There are many ways to do this. I have a friend who can not have biological children due to having cancer at a young age. She and her husband adopted children. She is a wonderful mother! Another friend from church got married after being a widow for many years. She is past child bearing age, but she helps her husband care for his elderly mother. Together they are a very close family. Another friend found out that she and her husband can not have children.…
/r/RedPillWives20/05/21 02:55 AM
20

You might try wearing more form fitting clothes. That looks attractive to men, without exposing too much skin. If you do choose to expose more skin, remember to only expose one part at a time. For example, wearing a short skirt, but not wearing a short skirt and a plunging neckline. Most marriage minded men want a woman who looks like nice, but doesn't show everything to everybody.
/r/RedPillWives19/05/21 12:38 AM
2

Your family and community are the best safety net. You can work hard and earn lots of money, but nothing is better than having supportive family members and friends. You do need to be careful about putting effort into family or friend relationships where the other person refuses to give back. I'm not talking about a person who can't give back (like an elderly person), but a person who willfully puts themselves first and everyone else last. As long as you have balanced relationships there will al…
/r/RedPillWives18/05/21 10:15 PM
7

Mid 20s is a good time to find a husband. Dating only gets harder for people who aren't adding real value to their lives. Exercising, learning to cook, building communicative skills, figuring out your spiritual life, etc. all adds value. I wouldn't worry too much about self-sufficiency. If you want to get married, focus on family and community sufficiency. If things didn't work out, your family and community would support you. Being too focused on being self-sufficient can be bad for building a …
/r/RedPillWives18/05/21 05:01 PM
5

College (or education related programs, like a computer class to learn Excel), volunteer events (helping the homeless, sorting canned goods at food banks, etc.), church (also remember you might meet your future husband's mom or sister at church even if he doesn't attend), and hobby related events (wood working, makers spaces, etc.) are all good places to meet marriage minded men. Avoid events/places that would attract men not interested in marriage like video game events or bars. My latest frien…
/r/RedPillWives18/05/21 03:05 PM
6

I think every husband has things he is really particular about and those things differ among men. My husband is very particular about helping relatives and I know he would get super angry if he found out that I was neglecting his mother or doing something that would prevent him from helping his uncle with an important project. I try to be extra considerate about this for him and to make sure this is a family priority that I support over other things. It sounds like your husband really doesn't li…
/r/RedPillWives16/05/21 09:56 PM
23

A man you have never met in person should not be moving in with you right away. You should seek to rent a room near your school or perhaps share an apartment with other young people your age. Your boyfriend should also seek to rent a room or share an apartment with other young men when he arrives. Your stomach is in a knot because you know that moving in together right away is the wrong thing to do. A kind and caring boyfriend will take the time to get to know you while living separately.
/r/RedPillWives16/05/21 03:27 AM
2

I like Miche Bloomin eyelashes. They have a lot of types that look very natural. It's not something I wear everyday, mostly just for date night with my husband.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/21 10:30 PM
21

What qualities do you like about your father, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, etc.? Are you comfortable living frugally or do you prefer a more lavish lifestyle? Do you intend to work after you're had children or do you want to be a stay-at-home mom? Are you religious and do you want your spouse to share your faith? Make a list and then try to compare it to what you're bringing to the table in a relationship. You can't expect a lavish lifestyle if you are not bringing compensating qualities to t…
/r/RedPillWives13/05/21 03:46 PM
8

Group dates are always fun. My husband and I did a lot of group dates, especially when we first started dating. This allows a man to lead, but in a safe way. Dates should be focused around an activity like mini golf, volunteering at the food bank, playing badminton in the park, etc. Usually the girls in the group would bring a picnic and the guys would plan and pay for an activity. One on one dating, especially when you don't know a man well isn't a good idea. There's too much tension because yo…
/r/RedPillWives11/05/21 05:27 AM
3

Yes I agree! I'm so glad this sub exists. It's lovely to see so many other women with sensible outlooks on marriage and family.
/r/RedPillWives11/05/21 02:24 AM
3

There is no reason not to get married "due to government". If there truly were a reason, the solution would be not to be a couple. This man isn't proposing that. He wants the fun or marriage without the work. Don't fall into his trap. At the start of each relationship, most people think they will be "together forever". It rarely turns out that way. Stick up for yourself and your future children by insisting on marriage.
/r/RedPillWives09/05/21 11:38 PM
1

An apron is best for messy activities. The key is to have multiple aprons, some with more coverage. For extra messy projects, I acquire skirts/dresses from garage sales. I don't feel bad getting them dirty if I only paid a $1 for them. I keep a box with these "messy job" clothes in the closet. It's perfect for finger painting parties with toddlers or gardening with my neighbor. I also buy shoes/boots at garage sales for this purpose. Sometimes I buy extra pairs of tights when they go on sale at …
/r/RedPillWives06/05/21 12:02 AM
3

"Real" leadership looks like whatever your husband wants it to look like. Every husband leads differently and that is wonderful! Your husband will grow to trust himself as you support him in his decisions and choices.
/r/RedPillWives05/05/21 02:31 PM
28

Yes this is a terrible idea. What you're saying is that you want to make your husband be more dominant. How could he ever be dominant if he only did as you said? That would not be leading at all! It would just be following your lead. It is hard sometimes to let our husbands take the lead, especially because we see them everyday and we see that they are not perfect (no one is) and that sometimes they make mistakes. If you truly are willing to accept your husband as a leader (notice the different …
/r/RedPillWives04/05/21 04:13 PM
3

Anytime, I'm happy to chat. Just the fact that you are thinking of ways to support your husband trying to keep the burdens light in your family shows that you are being a wonderful wife and that you are taking marriage seriously.
/r/RedPillWives02/05/21 11:05 PM
5

You are providing for him, just not with money. In my household, my husband earns 100% of the income. Before we were married I had a career and was a high earner. It was a difficult transition for me to become a housewife and then a mother. What made it most difficult for me were family and friends who tied my worth to my career. I urge you let go of any friendships or scale back contact with family who do this to you. It is a terrible thing to tie a woman's worth to her career and how much mone…
/r/RedPillWives02/05/21 10:07 PM
6

It is good that you are thinking about this now, before you are married. I have several friends who have chosen not to be married in order to pursue a life of service and one who has chosen not to be married to pursue a time consuming career. These friends have chosen to remain celibate. It is not an easy road, but my friends have found great fulfillment in it. I have many other friends, myself included, who chose marriage. Marriage is also a difficult road. You need be able to give 110% of your…
/r/RedPillWives29/04/21 06:00 PM
3

This really isn't about the dog, it's a sign of something much bigger. I would consider my husband and myself to be "strict" parents, but we do so with a lot of love, lots of planning, and taking into account what each of our children needs. The man hasn't considered what his dog needs, hasn't made any plans for the dog, and this lack of planning shows a lack of love for the animal.
/r/RedPillWives28/04/21 05:00 AM
16

Looks is what helps a woman to get married, but it won't hold a husband's attention forever. You keep your husband by serving the community through your marriage. Most couples do this by raising children. Older couples bond deeply by service to their families and community. It's important to do our best to keep trim and healthy, but everyone will get wrinkles eventually. Service bonds you to your spouse and ensures a long and joyful marriage.
/r/RedPillWives27/04/21 04:12 PM
9

Most traditional minded men want to have children with their wives. If you wanted to adopt because of being infertile, many traditional minded men would be okay with that too (I have a couple of infertile friends who married and adopted and are stay-at-home moms). What you want to do, suppress your own fertility and pay someone else to carry the baby is not something most traditional minded men will approve of, nor will their family members.
/r/RedPillWives25/04/21 11:01 PM
7

Have medical causes of lose of libido been ruled out? My uncle had this years ago and it was a blessing that my aunt caught it early and had him see the doctor. If this isn't a medical problem and you've reached "worn out" status from trying to fix things, really all you can do is to step back and start focusing on self care. Going for a couple months without "adult time" might be for the best if your husband isn't stepping up to the plate. Sometimes it's also helpful to really push your husband…
/r/RedPillWives25/04/21 07:25 PM
11

Sometimes we need to step back as wives and let our husbands lead. This may be one of those times in your marriage. When the children recover from covid, let him be the one to seduce you for "adult time". If he can't be bothered to say I love you and give kisses, "adult time" won't happen. Let him be the decider, but hold firm to your responsible requests (like kisses and "I love you's").
/r/RedPillWives25/04/21 04:10 PM
24

One of the best ways I've found with my husband to build a connection between us is to show respect to him in front of the children and to get the children to see how valuable my husband is to the functioning of our family. In our house we have a routine of texting my husband pictures when purchases are made. For example, this week my daughter needed new sneakers. When we found the pair she wanted, we sent dad a picture of her wearing the new shoes and thanking him. I've also had the each of the…
/r/RedPillWives25/04/21 03:49 PM
7

Pushing a man is never a good idea. A feminine woman is clear about what she wants (which it sounds like you have done), then you encourage the man as he takes important steps in building his career, and then you decide if you want to be with this man forever. You also need to decide if he is being truthful in what he says and if he can actually follow through. A smart man will also be watching you during dating to see if you are truthful and can follow through on plans. I think it's best not to…
/r/RedPillWives20/04/21 11:53 PM
1

With children older than 3 it gets easier to keep up with the chores with each passing years. Children are capable of doing a lot of things around the house. Doing chores also gives children confidence, not only in completing the task, but also in being a productive member of the family. With toddlers, housekeeping is harder. Since your mother-in-law has dementia, she probably can't help around the house. Both my husband's parents and my parents helped us a lot when we had younger children even …
/r/RedPillWives04/04/21 07:29 PM
1

It doesn't sound like you are living a traditional Catholic life if you have an active bedroom life with a woman to whom you are not married. If you want to live a traditional life, you have to be traditional. It's great that you "realized the benefit and importance of a traditional family, religion, and discipline", so now you just need to live like you've realized those things.
/r/RedPillWives01/04/21 12:33 AM
2

It really depends on the baby. My first baby was the easy baby. She settled into routines so fast. My second was a lot more difficult, colic and some other issues. Just remember you and your husband are in this together. Support each other and take time to bond with the new baby together. It is truly a joyful time!
/r/RedPillWives14/03/21 04:44 AM
2

Most women will not leave an abusive situation just because someone tells them to. Often women in abusive situations will leave and return several times before making the final break to freedom. Oftentimes the best we can do is encourage them towards making outside connections. Outside connections, like joining a church, might give a woman more connections that can help her to eventually see the abuse and break free. I give this advice as someone who has helped a friend break free of an abusive …
/r/RedPillWives12/03/21 06:46 AM
0

If it was me, I would choose to leave, but that may not be this woman's choice. She is asking for advice on how to handle the situation. I do think she should discontinue the sexual aspect of this relationship, since it seems this man has some growing up to do. If she chooses to stay and try to work on things that is her choice.
/r/RedPillWives11/03/21 11:36 PM
-5

I think attending church is an excellent idea. Most Christian churches have a lot of older married people attending who would be interested in mentoring younger couples. You might also try signing up to volunteer at your new church for things like a food or clothing drive. Older married people tend to flock towards volunteer activities like that. It's a good chance for a man show off a little, your boyfriend could lift the heavy food bags. This might give him more confidence in a new environment…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/21 06:57 PM
4

I'm a homemaker and I've been married for 14 years. My husband and I have children. When my husband and I were first married we both had high paying careers. He and I decided that I would leave my career as soon as we started trying to have children. I can tell you from experience that it would have been IMPOSSIBLE for me to manage our home and care for our children to the level my husband and I wanted if I had continued in my high paying career. It sounds like your boyfriend is a young man, so …
/r/RedPillWives11/03/21 06:39 PM
2

Do you have a volunteer project you could take on? With ongoing recovery from the pandemic, there's probably a lot of choices locally for things that need doing. Try to keep it a feminine project and to make sure it's more working with other women, not men so much. This has two purposes, first it keeps him from believing that you're cheating, but it also discourages him from just joining you at the charity project. My friend's project involved a lot of female retired nurses. Once you're involved…
/r/RedPillWives09/03/21 03:44 PM
11

It's very difficult to move a relationship towards marriage once you're already living together, especially if you've been living together for multiple years. Much of the advice in Fascinating Womanhood is meant for married women, so applying this to a "living together" situation won't always result in marriage. Of the friends I've had who have been able to get married from a "living together" situation, most did it by stepping back and becoming less available. 2 friends moved out and 1 friend f…
/r/RedPillWives08/03/21 05:05 PM
9

You might want to direct your husband into volunteering activities that could offer him a chance to give advice to others. Big Brothers is a good one or maybe being a mentor for newly married couples at church or perhaps helping new immigrants to America getting used to living in your community. This would give him the chance to be an expert, but in an appropriate setting. Sharing family secrets and getting overly chatting about women's breasts is going to eventually get your husband into troubl…
/r/RedPillWives06/03/21 03:57 AM
6

This is the best comment! I've never heard my husband talk about wedding planning or pregnancy issues with female friends OR male friends. The closest he's ever come to that kind of talk is maybe a hearty congratulations when a friend announces a future wedding or baby.
/r/RedPillWives05/03/21 11:28 PM
–

That's a little strange that a man would be so interested in wedding planning or pregnancy related issues unless maybe it was HIS wedding or HIS wife's pregnancy. Does your husband maybe have Asperger syndrome? I think you need to find quiet time to talk to your husband about what is okay to share outside the marriage and what needs to remain private. This is not a conversation that you'll want to have while washing the dishes. It is a serious issue and needs to be discussed when you both have t…
/r/RedPillWives05/03/21 11:23 PM
35

There's nothing "weird" about being a traditional housewife. It is a wonderful thing to become. Caring for a husband and future children is a calling in life, but it will also require many sacrifices. I think a lot of people have this idea that being a housewife is all about cooking skills or cleaning skills. However, as a married woman with children, I can tell you that the most important skill I used everyday as a housewife is self discipline. You really can't learn this skill via a book. You …
/r/RedPillWives04/03/21 02:16 AM
7

When you get married and then have children, your relationship with your husband becomes so much more. You have created lives together! You are now responsible for caring for those children. It makes you value your husband more and he values you more too. It's honestly difficult to describe how much closer it brings you together. Of course it's also important to keep taking care of your body. You have more reasons than ever for being healthy when you have children because you need to be in your …
/r/RedPillWives03/03/21 06:23 AM
3

Veggies Tales is a good one. My Catholic Family (on EWTN) is also excellent. I like how this show demonstrates that a priest is a leader in the community and also how it uses the life of a saint in each episode to demonstrate how to handle life situations. Where the Red Fern Grows is one of the best movies to show to boys. It can help spark discussions on saving money, making sacrifices for family members, dealing with death, and so much more.
/r/RedPillWives26/02/21 02:15 AM
3

Have you considered that your husband might have a drug or alcohol addition? Sometimes when a person uses the bathroom for extended periods, it can be to take drugs or to drink.
/r/RedPillWives21/02/21 11:14 PM
5

I'm very sorry you're going through this. Please don't be afraid to reach out to friends during this time for support. Give them specific ways to help, like bringing a meal or helping out with laundry. Reducing your workload is critical in times of illness and friends will be happy to pitch in.
/r/RedPillWives11/02/21 01:20 AM
12

I'm glad that you stopped yourself from cheating on your husband. These are very difficult times we're living in with covid-19 and it is probably adding a lot of stress to your marriage. Sarcasm is one thing that doesn't belong in a happy home, so it's important to deal with that first. First, take a look at the media that's being consumed in your home and do your best to steer all family members towards tv and radio that don't use sarcasm as a humor device. Try not to give a big reaction when y…
/r/RedPillWives26/01/21 06:10 PM
3

This is very true! Having shared years of loving marriage together erases a lot of little imperfections, like a grey hair or a wrinkle.
/r/RedPillWives23/01/21 07:10 PM
9

30s is the time when our children are getting older and more able to help out in the household. Since your children are under 3, you probably haven't seen this as much, but you will soon. What a delight it is when a child can set the table, make his bed, talk to grandma on the phone, tie her shoes, independently read a book, etc.! 30s was also the time I really started to reap the benefits of knowing my husband. I know when to bother him with a problem and when to keep quiet, so the little fight…
/r/RedPillWives23/01/21 07:06 PM
9

When you are in your 20s you basically have a free pass. As long as you keep your weight low, take reasonable care of your hair, skin, and nails, and dress well, you will gain attention from men. The important thing to do in your 20s, is not to treat this as a free pass and to be constantly increasing your value outside of your looks. If you don't use your 20s wisely, it's hard to make up for it later. How do we do this as women? By getting married (or by committing to serving our community whil…
/r/RedPillWives23/01/21 05:55 PM
2

The thing that will save you the most time is the planning. Firstly, I think you need to sit down with your husband and find room in the budget for a cleaning service. Find someone to do the deep cleaning of the house once or twice a week. Suggest to your husband that this will free up some time for you to learn new recipes. Second, you need to clear things out of the kitchen that your husband can't eat. Try to use bins in a cabinet for easily accessible ingredients that your husband can eat. Su…
/r/RedPillWives08/01/21 07:01 PM
2

Any chance you can send the children to grandma's house? Or maybe the children's aunt? That can be a good way to get some "adult time" sometimes. It is hard when money is tight or the children are young. Sometimes there really isn't much break time.
/r/RedPillWives07/01/21 04:33 AM
2

Yes this can be difficult. When the children are under 3 years old, really there is never a break. My husband and I decided, after all our children were over age 3, that I would get a once a year break in February to have a little spa stay by myself for a couple days. His mother usually comes over to stay and my husband takes care of all the travel arrangements for me. Last year, my mother-in-law did a deep kitchen clean for me and my husband built some new shelves in the laundry room while I wa…
/r/RedPillWives07/01/21 01:44 AM
2

What kind of media are you watching and listening to? For a while, early in my marriage, I got into watching tv and listening to popular music. The situations in dramas and the lyrics slowly filtered into my speech and thinking and my husband did not like it. Now I make an effort to avoid watching or listening to stuff where I know my husband wouldn't approve of the behavior of the characters involved.
/r/RedPillWives05/01/21 07:57 PM
1

Don't make your ex into someone you confide in. I think your boyfriend wouldn't like that. To have a friend, you need to be a friend. Are there elderly people in your neighborhood? Could you ask an elderly woman if she needs help with her grocery shopping or maybe would like to have a cup of tea in the yard? Elderly women make great friends and they love helping younger people with talking things through. While you are jobless (and also after), it's a good idea to take on some volunteer projects…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/20 04:23 PM
3

That seems silly to block a man just because you haven't been asked out a week after the first date. I'm older though (40s), so maybe it's different today.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/20 10:02 PM
1

Every man is entitled to his own opinion. Some men might not marry anyone who is not a virgin, some men might only marry women with a master's degree or higher, and some men will not marry a divorced woman. This however, is not EVERY man, just some. You need to find married women in your church to help mentor you. Choose women who are married and whose marriages you admire. Find out what they did that worked. "Adult time" is an intimate connection. How did these women manage "adult time" while d…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/20 09:56 PM
9

Red pill women do not necessarily want a red pill man. Red pill is about acknowledging reality and not sugar coating everything. So a woman who is red pill might acknowledge that being slender is important to getting and keeping a man. A man who is red pill might acknowledge that he's not ready for marriage and just wants to have "adult time" with women instead. Now, most women, if they are being honest, would admit that they want to get married to a man who can provide for her and the family. T…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/20 09:07 PM
1

Are you married to this man? I would put off having children and buying a house until this issue is resolved. Depression is a difficult thing, but part of dealing with it is helping yourself by doing the right things when you are depressed. This can include things like proper diet and going for a walk. It also means avoiding things like drugs, drinking, and video games.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/20 02:51 AM
1

The statistics on "blended" families indicate otherwise. I think OP would be smart to focus on her children for now. I think she will have a good chance of getting married once they are 18. Protecting them is her most important job right now.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 05:50 PM
0

Why would he do your homework for you? Maybe he just wants to help with homework? Helping with homework is good.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/20 05:35 PM
2

That is beautiful that you are planning a way to make your mother in law's birthday extra special! Have you considered maybe getting the kids into cute safari animal themed costumes? One could be a zebra, a tiger, an elephant, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/20 05:30 PM
28

Of course these guys come and go. They are looking for "adult time" and it appears to be working for them. If you date a man and it doesn't work out, it's best to let him go. You don't need to have a friendship with him or be texting buddies because this won't help you to form a healthy relationship with the right man. The right man won't want to spend even 1 year apart, let alone multiple years.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/20 12:39 PM
1

Do you want a big house or fancy vacations? Everyone wants different things. If these are things you want, you're probably with the wrong person. If you don't care about those things, then that's okay too and it sounds like you have a nice relationship with your boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/20 07:32 PM
11

Don't do it! It often closes the door forever to becoming a housewife or stay-at-home mom. It's best to hire a cleaner and use the pre-prepped meal kit delivery services during the work days. Leave special home cooked meals for weekends only. I have a friend who worked full time and did all housework/cooking in her early married days. Her and her husband's plan was that she would work until their children were born. Now she is mother to 3 and her husband got used to the luxuries of her salary. S…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/20 02:17 AM
3

This is not good! He could easily be faking who he is, but even if he's not, commitment before even meeting in person is crazy! Even during lockdown, there are other ways than online to meet men. How about asking your siblings, cousins, or friends to introduce you to men they know over the telephone? You could join a Zoom Bible study or maybe a Zoom group that meets to discuss a hobby. You could do some covid safe outdoor volunteering, like a beach or park clean up. Please stay safe!
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/20 06:34 PM
19

Because that show glorifies casual sex. It doesn't praise women who are prioritizing relationships over a one night stand.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/20 03:02 AM
1

An above average SMV usually means the woman is in good health. So you definitely want to lose weight, but also do it in a way that increases the good health. For example, being sure to set habits like eating a good variety of vegetables and taking regular exercise. This way the lower weight will stay for a long time. While you are working on building these good habits, you need to eliminate distractions. If dating is a distraction, then don't do it until your new habits are firmly in place.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/20 04:14 PM
60

Husbands get "adult time", boyfriends get kisses. Husbands get a home cooked meal every night, boyfriends get a home cooked meal maybe once a week. I would move anywhere for my husband's career, I would not move for a boyfriend. I make an effort to help my husband's family members. I made an effort to know boyfriend's relatives, but I didn't help take them to doctors appointments, take them shopping, help with housework, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/20 11:09 PM
7

A lot would depend on the women in these stories. Did they have the skills to be a good wife? These women might have been pretty or been a fun girlfriend, but not have matched with what the men in the stories were looking for in the long term. 7, 8, and 5 years are all a long time to spend with a man before bringing up marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/20 12:35 AM
1

Yes Dr. Taylor Marshall is excellent! I highly recommend his writings. Also this article explains more about the feminization of parish life: https://thewandererpress.com/catholic/news/frontpage/the-feminized-church/ We've all got to do our part in making sure masculinity is welcomed back into our parish life.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/20 01:59 AM
21

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that women have been feminizing the church for decades, so it's not surprising that some of the men heavily involved in parish life tend to be effeminate. The best thing to do for the long term is to promote masculinity in your parish. Don't encourage girls to be alter servers, have this be an all male space. Discourage the music director from playing feminine hymns during Mass. Try to promote things manly men can be involved in with parish life. Don…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/20 01:27 AM
1

Have you looked at the local churches for a trunk or treat? A friend in the midwest said her church will be doing a trunk or treat this year. She said the teens will be dressing up and preforming small skits or magic tricks for the young kids as they trick or treat in the parking lot. Seems a lot safer than going house to house and fun too!
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/20 03:55 PM
7

My household will bring candy bags to neighbors that we know well. We'll set out a bowl of candy on the porch for everyone else. Also we will put out an ice chest filled with small bottles of water. We'll leave a welcoming sign out inviting people to take candy and a water. We'll clean up the front yard and double check the sidewalk for any hazards, so people don't trip. We might set out some extra lighting, maybe battery operated candles. Each year we try to make the porch look bright and frien…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/20 09:04 PM
15

Drink water, exercise, don't eat junk food or sugar, use a nail brush, comb your hair and style it at home, and keep a neat purse. Honestly nothing looks worse than seeing a girl dig through a messy purse.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/20 12:14 AM
4

If there is a staple stuck in the 1st grader's head, please start by helping the child get to a doctor. You can worry about teaching the child to read later. That staple might lead to an infection!
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/20 07:00 PM
1

I think your mom is a very smart person! It is important to help other people, but sometimes we have to think about the dynamics of our home before extending help to others. For example, if you had children, you wouldn't allow a violent person into your home. You've given your friend a safe place to start over, but now it's time for her to be out on her own. Maybe she could find another woman to be roommates with. Perhaps she could do elder care in exchange for a free room if she is financially …
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/20 05:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter