TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

wild_squirrel_ Archive

View 0 posts and 811 comments by wild_squirrel_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

It’s not good advice for women either haha. I wish I hadn’t been so passive. But It’s good life advice to invest yourself and not solely focus on relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:55 PM
–

I remember one time a male friend in a mixed gender group asked me and the other woman how we felt when we noticed guys checking out our boobs. She said it’s pretty annoying, I was like “oh I think I’m too small, guys don’t look at me like that,” and EVERY guy there simultaneously was like “yes, they do.” I’m super oblivious so idk how I’d react. Probably dress differently and/or avoid him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:54 PM
–

I was successful with apps but they still suck. I’d say most of my friends feel the same way. It’s just a shit way to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:01 PM
–

Honestly I agree with men on that one
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:59 PM
–

I think I’m the cool wine aunt
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:55 PM
–

“jUSt eNjOY BeInG sInGle” no, I don’t enjoy it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:54 PM
–

What is the dilemma?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:52 PM
–

I’m sure you know more about it, random man!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:42 PM
–

Sorry I didn’t go into all the nuances in a reddit comment on a post about ambition specifically. I never thought it was the only factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:41 PM
1

What? Some people are gay and others aren’t. Compulsive heterosexuality is a function of how patriarchy applies to gay people. Not to mention that feminism isn’t a dogma with specific tenets every woman agrees to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:39 PM
1

Yeah it also comes across like an argument on Reddit when it would just be a normal conversation irl like this skit
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:34 PM
2

That’s a strange idea of fairness. They are two different people, it’s possible that doing things differently is better for that person/the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:11 PM
6

That’s what they said
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:00 AM
9

I knew someone was gonna say that, congrats
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:02 AM
–

I don’t think they are the majority irl but it’s scary to think they just don’t say it out loud like the men here
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:28 AM
–

A lot of the comments here are really disturbing
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:19 AM
–

I’m not sure. I think women are sometimes better at like conversational/spinoff humor that doesn’t work as well in standup. I also think men are less likely to want to see a female comic than women are too want to see a male comic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:06 AM
–

I actually really like men. They are funny and get shit done.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:49 AM
7

Sex doesn’t make you any more or less valuable
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:44 AM
–

Cold plunge, I know a lot of people obsessed with Wim Hof who touts it as kinda a panacea
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:41 AM
15

I’ve been dumped twice for not being ambitious. I wouldn’t say all men think that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:24 AM
1

Yes most women think it exists, that doesn’t mean most women think it applies to them. If anything I hear the opposite- women wishing they could just be gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:21 AM
2

Dude, you are “traumatized” by an unlimited supply of insta baddies posting? Just don’t open the app
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:19 AM
2

What is 3X?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:15 AM
2

Do you think most women think their sexuality is compulsory heterosexuality?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:11 AM
4

Why would you do that to yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:59 AM
2

How do women see their own sexuality and desires as artificial induced effect of psychological warfare?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:53 AM
1

Yes, I was saying women participated in their own oppression. I never thought patriarchy is all about oppressing women. Feminists are aware there are ways it benefits women, that’s why the term “benevolent sexism” exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:53 AM
2

I dislike having ALL of my value tied to sex, that’s what objectifying is
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:34 AM
1

It’s called patriarchy because it sets up men as being in charge. I don’t think anyone alive today set it up, why would you feel personally responsible for it or offended by discussions of it? I think it’s mostly a product of the major religions, which explains why women participate in it, not to mention the women who enjoy traditional gender roles so don’t have a problem with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:29 AM
3

Internalized misogyny is with the woman herself imo. Patriarchy is a social system, it’s not the fault of an individual man or men in general. Women are very much culpable in upholding patriarchy. I also think something can be blamed without it being a wrongdoing on their part. If I have a car accident due to a medical issue, I caused it, the blame can be on me, but I didn’t do anything wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:14 AM
1

I think I see the point she’s trying to make. I’ve had men I’ve rejected just act normal afterwards- not continued to pursue but just continue to act friendly. After that I started thinking about him differently and we later got together. For other guys it gets very awkward and uncomfortable and ruins the friendship, we naturally drift apart. In general being ok with being rejected is always going to be better, both mentally for you and in terms of dating. But I really can’t blame anyone for bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:08 AM
–

I’ll admit, sometimes I type a comment and think, “I should not be giving any dating advice” and delete it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:44 AM
2

About the same, maybe I’m a bit more attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:02 AM
3

Women talk about lovebombing all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:31 AM
1

I’m sure there are women that chase taken men but I also just feel more comfortable with taken men- I’m not interested and I don’t have to worry if I will come off as interested in him and feel really comfortable chatting which I think sometimes men interpret as interest
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:24 AM
7

That’s odd, if a job has multiple interviews I think they are being really intentional filling the position and it’s less likely to waste my time if I can get a second interview
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:01 AM
9

Yeah that would actually make me feel better about it. Totally understandable he is more cautious if he had a bad experience previously.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 12:58 AM
3

Blaming patriarchy and internalized misogyny isn’t the same as blaming men
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 12:52 AM
12

You can always find a contradictory opinion. The general consensus is that Sydney Sweeney is hot but you can find tons of comments calling her mid
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:05 PM
–

Do you mean there’s data proving that ingroup bias is strong or that there’s data proving women are obsessed with height, money, and dick size?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 06:23 AM
–

I mean I don’t see the point of discussing anything at all if you’re just gonna assume I’m lying/mistaken
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 06:09 AM
4

I wouldn’t “police” a friend sexually, that’s very weird. I would say something if I thought she was doing something harmful for herself or others. They’d definitely say something if I slept with an ex or like a Nazi or something. But I can’t imagine them saying “you should wait till marriage” or something like that
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:59 AM
–

I’ve been thinking that for like 10 years and now I wonder why tf I thought that 10 years ago. In 10 years I don’t want to wonder why I gave up now
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:12 AM
–

Both men and women should just be up front on if they’re looking for something casual or something serious
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:11 AM
1

I agree that happens a lot but I do see a lot of women say “I hate getting flowers” or “women can be assholes too” often. It happens a lot particularly in pop culture subs, if you look at the commentary around like Fleabag or Crazy ExGirlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:05 AM
1

It lasted a few days for me and then on and off for like 6 months. I haven’t really had cramps for like 2 years now though
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:38 AM
1

It does eventually but there’s extremely bad cramping after inserting it
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:33 AM
2

IUD has lessened it significantly. I don’t really bleed anymore but a lot of men don’t realize the bleeding (at least for me personally) is the least obtrusive part. It would be nice to have a body that just doesn’t do that though. Getting the IUD was also a rough process and I had horrible cramping for months.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 08:55 PM
0

I regret almost all of them, mostly due to social stigma and shaming
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 07:03 PM
–

I’m a woman but I’m the same way. I’ve been trying to just make small adjustments at a time to build up my tolerance for confrontation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 06:54 PM
2

I don’t hate being a woman but sometimes I wish I was a man. I hate having periods and worrying about getting pregnant. I hate having hormones that make me feel suicidal for large portions of my life and change my appetite. I grew up evangelical Christian and I think it would have been easier to be a man in that culture. It’s very patriarchal and I wouldn’t be so passive now. I know this will be unpopular to say here but I also hate worrying constantly about getting unwanted sexual attention and…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 06:51 PM
3

Maybe just speak to her like an adult?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 05:04 AM
1

There’s a couple from my middle school that are still married, and two couples from my high school
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 04:53 AM
9

“If he wanted to he would” is something I’d say to a friend if she was hung up on a guy who obviously isn’t interested. Like “maybe he secretly likes me but he can’t say anything because he is studying too hard right now.” Girl, no. He does not want to date you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 04:33 AM
–

I used to work at a gear shop and had some customers ask about adult activities on sleeping pads lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:59 AM
4

I do see this a lot with women complaining about” low effort boyfriends” ie they don’t ask questions, they don’t plan dates, they don’t buy gifts/flowers. Put “high effort boyfriend” into Instagram or TikTok and there’s tons of content
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:54 AM
1

I don’t think my views would be surprising but I’d be embarrassed for him to know I post here at all
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:51 AM
2

Oh, Healthy At Every Size. Took me a minute
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:32 AM
–

Oh you’re saying if someone sleeps with you quickly you don’t know if it’s because they also want casual sex or if it’s because they believe you are headed toward a LTR relationship with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 12:35 AM
–

When does this come up? Why do women on Reddit need to understand this?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 12:22 AM
–

Whenever a woman asks about my sign I’ll say “I don’t want to say” or “I don’t like mine” and they always go, “oh, Scorpio.” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:59 PM
–

We Scorpios get a bad rep
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:39 PM
–

I know some. But in general women tend to be more “spiritual”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:37 PM
–

Or you could not conflate a mental disorder with “being a ho”?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:53 PM
–

What does that have to do with ADHD
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:45 PM
4

Why is that dumb?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:44 PM
–

What’s ADHD dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:40 PM
2

It also helped that I am conventionally attractive. Idk why I was in such a rut in my head, what a waste of time. I would probably be in the same mindset still if I wasn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:37 PM
1

I do think I can personally understand to a degree. I spent most of my 20’s in a femcel mindset and was extremely frustrated romantically and sexually. I felt repulsive and subhuman, like I was being kept out of a quintessential human experience. I understand how much being isolated and feeling romantically/sexually hopeless impacts your self worth. However- I recognize a lot of that was delusion on my part and I didn’t experience as much rejection as men do. I think if I were a man I would have…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:08 PM
2

It seems to come up a lot on this sub but I agree no normal men expect that
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:38 PM
4

“Women shouldn’t be allowed to” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:55 AM
1

Why would they say it’s less to male respondents?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:53 AM
4

Millions of people do most jobs
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:47 AM
1

I don’t think they’re contradictory, they’re just from opposite viewpoints. Someone growing on you is a legitimate thing that happens sometimes. Changing yourself or waiting around to see if that happens is a bad idea. It’s a mistake to hear the second one as “if I hang around, this person will change their mind.”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:57 PM
2

Yeah I agree women care about height and I know women who straight up say they would never be attracted to a man shorter than them. I run in a pretty demure crowd I guess because I’ve never heard anyone say anything about dick size. I don’t even see it online except from ragebated men. But I understand stuff happens out of my personal experience obviously
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:29 PM
2

That’s very possible too. Just if someone if gonna pull something out of their ass or say “every woman I know does this,” then saying “no woman I know does that” is just as valid From what I can tell the height thing got worse after COVID/with Gen Z which I wouldn’t see.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:16 PM
1

You should watch A Different Man. Great movie! I think the second man will just be more jaded unfortunately. A lot of privileged/attractive people have a very positive view of the world based on their experience of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:40 PM
2

But I don’t do that! In seriousness, I feel compelled to do it when the generalization doesn’t apply to anyone I know, which frequently happens here, especially when the generalization isn’t coming from data but just like “women are obsessed with height and dick size”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:39 PM
–

I believe it but the last sentence kinda goes to prove my point
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:09 AM
4

Women often already have a safety net- a more robust social network than men. A community/network isn’t related to having a boyfriend. It’s physical protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:00 AM
3

all while wanting me to use their sex toys OP said they were using it during sex, I assume this doesn’t mean their partner wants them to use their sex toys alone. I think they have a problem because it implies their partner can’t get off from them. I would have an issue if a man insisted he had to watch porn during sex because he can’t get aroused by just me. I think there’s a miscommunication because there are toys that help women who do not get off from PIV have more enjoyable sex, which imo i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 12:46 AM
3

One is a typically a sex aid and one is a typically masturbatory aid though. Using a massive and unrealistic sex toy repeatedly alone is different than using sex toys together. Insisting a man use a huge sex toy during sex would be like a man insisting on watching porn during sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:25 PM
1

I think that woman is just using it wrong. I always thought Big D energy isn’t actually about actual dick size. A woman could have big d energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:07 PM
3

Oh yeah it can definitely be a stand in for those “what? I’m just asking questions!” types
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:34 PM
–

And 30 Rock
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:10 PM
2

It’s crazy we all recognize OLD and how dating is rn sucks but just decide to blame the other gender instead of doing something different
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:53 PM
5

The 60 year old men will not be stopped not matter what you wear
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:51 PM
–

This is like a sitcom. When did you figure out what happened? Did he figure it out?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:50 PM
–

I even agree with you but that’s a ridiculous example. That person is obviously racist, it’s not because of dating preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:45 PM
0

You can believe women are lying to themselves if you want ig, but OP said he sees it talked about openly in spaces with 99% female users.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:40 PM
2

Man it’s so crazy how differently people communicate. I was confused what he (I think?) was talking about and thought she was perfectly clear
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 04:25 AM
8

It’s definitely both
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 03:36 AM
3

The only time I see content like what you’re describing (women obsessed with height, money, penis size, etc) is on this sub or other subs where men complain about dating. It doesn’t reflect the women I know in real life or online at all. Granted, I don’t use dating apps to date women or browse subs like FDS so I’m aware there’s stuff I don’t see, as well as some generational differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 01:24 AM
1

Yeah I mean it does take some sessions before they have enough insight to do any real problem solving. The stuff I said is just generic stuff a friend could tell me for free
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:45 PM
1

Lately I’ve been super up front that I want more action oriented in the first session and it always ends up the same. My biggest pet peeve is when therapists react to my bad thought patterns with a “that’s not true” (ie “I don’t deserve love” “that’s not true”). It’s really unhelpful since I want to explore why I feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:43 PM
1

I accidentally hit on my ex but I did not realize I was doing it haha In general no. I gave a guy my number once but nothing came of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:41 PM
1

Yeah that makes sense. I just really dislike when it’s like “oh don’t worry everyone makes mistakes,” or “well different people have different ways of doing things” rather than action focused
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:25 PM
1

That’s been similar to my experience. Male or female therapist?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:22 PM
1

Huh. I’ve been thinking about going to a male therapist since all my therapists have been female and more focused on making me feel better than coming up with concrete solutions but I guess that won’t work either
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 11:09 PM
1

I would go with like breaking all his fingers or something. I can’t think of a situation where I wouldn’t find the idea of rape repulsive
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:57 PM
1

Is your therapist male or female?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:34 PM
2

Q4M who have been in therapy: what kind of advice have you gotten about dating? Do therapists try to encourage you that you will find the right partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:01 PM
1

Hobbies and apps
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:55 PM
–

I think a lot of women view rape as at least equally serious, if not more. I know I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:47 PM
–

Sex does not make you superior or inferior. They probably have superior looks and/or social skills though
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:45 PM
–

I don’t believe in it but I’ve experienced it. It was a silhouette so idk if it was lust exactly, but maybe some kind of pheromone thing
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:43 PM
–

Why put rape into it? Obviously not. I don’t think it would be the same if he raped the male CEO he did (allegedly) kill
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:41 PM
–

What is relationship ran through?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:39 PM
2

Ngl I can’t describe what I want but I know I don’t like the opposite of those things
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:38 PM
1

Oh I’ve never used the paid version so I forgot you can see likes
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:25 PM
1

How does she know they are swiping right on her if she’s not swiping right on them
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 04:01 AM
1

Your interpretation is correct but I do see how it’s confusing
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 03:59 AM
–

Going from Colorado to the Midwest was a shock
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 03:44 AM
1

Ok, I apologize. I actually agree with you and just read into it based on it being in this thread which you already said you didn’t think it fit here. There’s lots of things in the past- like trauma or being a victim of sexual abuse- that affect behavior but I’d think you would want to share that in a healthy relationship for support or just having deep conversations. I don’t agree with some of the framing like it needs to be confessed at the beginning of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 03:19 AM
1

We did say that in middle school lol. I also have to admit I could see this happening behind someone’s back but not to their face. I’ve definitely talked with other women about a mutual friend’s relationship and remarked that she is more attractive than him
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 01:03 AM
3

Also a millennial, I don’t think social media being around before discounts OP’s point. It’s changed so much. I miss the old social media. We used to just post 50 random photos. Now people are much more selective about their posts and are much more posed and polished when they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:57 AM
1

Do you think the internalized shame is wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:36 AM
1

I agree with you there. I don’t think lying helps anybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:04 AM
1

That wasn’t a condemnation of research, it was a condemnation of ChatGPT. Pure by Linda Kay Klein is a great book that deals with this subject. My point is in your viewpoint, someone who is taught a toxic ideology as a child is condemned to follow it or be broken forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:43 PM
2

The shaming is the problem though, not the behavior. What is your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:32 PM
1

Brother I‘m not gonna ask ChatGPT about something I lived. “Many therapists“ and scientific studies my ass Of course purity culture and shame cause sexual problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:29 PM
–

I have never heard a woman say “ew” about someone their friend is interested in, unless it’s a specific red flag
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:24 PM
2

The specific thing you’re describing- the idea of sex being an act of rebellion- is pretty specific to purity culture parents. Someone could have been raised with the idea that hooking up is normal and then had bad experiences or didn’t have boundaries and have internalized shame for that, but they don’t associate sex with rebellion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:22 PM
–

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:08 PM
–

the oofy doofiest thing I can think of is unironically saying oofy doofy
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:06 PM
–

“oofy doofy” sounds like either an 80 year or or a 4 year old made it up, no in between
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 11:00 PM
2

where do they come up with this stuff 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 10:44 PM
3

They have the weirdest slang. wtf is “oofy-doofy” I’m crying
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:38 PM
3

Where are these therapists? Im not asking in bad faith, honestly looking for sources related to purity culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:32 PM
3

Sounds like the root of the problem is purity culture
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:27 PM
0

It’s good dating advice in the sense that it sets you up better for a healthy relationship, but yeah it doesn’t help you find a partner. Definitely applies best for women who have been in unhealthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:17 PM
1

Do you include OLD or no? I’ve been asked out maybe 5 times outside apps, maybe up 10 or so if you count being asked for my number. I’d qualify a date as anything that’s not like “Netflix and chill” type obvious stand in for hooking up. I’d also probably up the numbers if I’ve just been approached and “chatted up,” and nothing concrete happens or times it’s been ambiguous if it’s a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:12 PM
-1

I don’t think this applies to average people but the amount of times I’ve heard men be legitimately angry that an “ugly” actress is in a movie is really bizarre.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:05 PM
–

I mean, I think it’s still good advice but I’d agree it’s bad advice for getting a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:47 PM
4

I always hated that advice because it boils down to “you don’t have a relationship because you want one,” which is really frustrating and confusing. Now I understand it a bit better, I just take it as basically don’t be desperate to be in a relationship and pursue other ways of fulfilling yourself as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:44 PM
-7

For men and women it’s not meant to be “if you find someone you’re interested in, do nothing because you’re not looking.” It just means not making the main focus of your life finding a romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:39 PM
1

I was just trying to confirm that’s a normal thing to want (for myself). But I now realize I don’t need confirmation of that, especially from anyone on this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:12 AM
1

I don’t know this woman and wasn’t really trying to talk in depth about a stranger based on the three sentences we got. I was just questioning how wanting a good partner you’re attracted to is “having your cake and eating it too”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 12:37 AM
1

you’re describing why she’s attracted to “bad boys,” I’m just asking if it’s unreasonable to want someone you’re sexually attracted to who is also a reliable partner? That seems pretty normal. I’d agree she should probably go to therapy to figure out why she’s repeating unhealthy relationship patterns, but not for wanting both those qualities in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 12:13 AM
4

I don’t really agree with this woman, but isn’t a partner who presses your buttons sexually and is also a stable, reliable partner the ideal for everyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 11:44 PM
3

I just get so exhausted of policing my looks and behavior based on what men will like. If I’m wearing something “sexy” it’s because I’ve decided to stop giving a fuck that it might affect men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:41 PM
2

Yeah I feel a lot safer dressing “sexier” when I’m with a partner because I don’t like attention from random men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:38 PM
–

Yeah, that was my original point lol. Men are more confident, they’re not going to ask for confirmation online.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 08:24 PM
–

I don’t understand why fit guys would ignore her in public but give her attention on apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 08:20 PM
6

The fact that these points were surprising to you and that you didn’t think underdiagnosis of health issues in women wouldn’t ever be discussed in a feminist space shows that you are wildly ignorant of the ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 07:47 AM
5

Idk where you’re going but the female centered spaces I’m in talk frequently about the underdiagnosis of ADHD and Autism, and it’s something I talk a lot about with most feminist friends. It fits in feminist spaces because it’s about the lack of medical care for women, the way medical terms are defined by male traits, and the pressure for women to mask. Feminists don’t think that women are genetically superior to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 07:29 AM
–

Sorry, now RP is complaining women are rejecting men who are out of their league…?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 06:38 AM
1

Maybe I’m not understanding it, but I feel like it’s the opposite?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 05:22 AM
–

Sure, but never questioning if you’re wrong isn’t any more socially adept.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:44 AM
–

That’s true but I’ve also seen confident people do the most socially incompetent things and just not ever notice or think about it at all. Women are just more likely to question themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:32 AM
–

I mean if a supermodel got rejected I’d feel like “damn if she got rejected what chance do I have” but I’d also be like “damn it’s bad out here for everybody, I guess it’s not me” Makes me feel better that Ana De Armas is 37 and not married
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:30 AM
–

I mean, I feel like it’s kind of comforting in a way? Like it’s not necessarily about being a 10
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:22 AM
–

I think men are just more confident
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:16 AM
–

Does that make you feel better?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:15 AM
–

Maybe swiped just to see if she would match
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:11 AM
3

That’s funny, I feel the opposite. I think men need more social skills to get a girlfriend because they are traditionally the initiators, but in a relationship women are usually the ones who are supposed to organize social settings, they are supposed to remember birthdays, plan parties, get gifts, etc. I think it’s pretty normal to have a shy boyfriend. I would say that’s usually enforced by women though. Men don’t care if their girlfriend doesn’t go out but their sister or wife might think it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:09 AM
3

How does this comment oppose the female supremacy agenda?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 04:02 AM
3

I mean isn’t it pretty obvious that one is much more conducive to growing old with someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 03:59 AM
5

Well no one can really live both so it’s impossible to really compare. I don’t know if that’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 03:00 AM
3

That’s very different! Evangelicals almost shove it in your face, they talk about sex constantly. For some reason pastors have an obsession with talking about their “smoking’ hot wife” or saying, “sex is good- trust me it’s REALLY GOOD- but only within marriage.” It’s also very much set up like if you follow the rules, you will be rewarded with a good relationship. I could see it being less toxic if it’s coming from a celibate priest and there was more acknowledgment of sexual control after marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 02:49 AM
1

I think it depends on the circumstances. It wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t the type of person they’d normally be attracted to when we first met, but they were really glad they went for it. It wouldn’t bother me if it had been months and they just felt like “eh, she’s fine, I guess.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 02:10 AM
7

I’m from Evangelical culture and while I agree they see it as good to be a “virgin,” there’s also so much pressure to get married and an emphasis on marriage that borders on idolatry. No one will tease you for being a virgin but there’s a lot of “when are you gonna get married” comments. It’s a very weird contradictory pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 02:03 AM
22

Not exactly a “ho phase” but I grew up super religious and this was a real thing with both men and women. People who grew up religious were really jealous of adult converts who got to experience drugs, sex, alcohol, partying, etc before “finding God.” Clearly it was just repression and it felt like other people kinda got to “have their cake and eat it too” by experiencing hedonistic pleasures but also getting the benefits of religion. Like other people said, it’s something that’s easy to idealiz…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 01:56 AM
1

We were talking about a teacher sleeping with a student- I guess we don’t have to call it rape but legally it’s statutory. do you care more about a stranger dying or your mother dying? Silly question. Are you being intentionally obtuse (again)? I would care more about my mother, but I wouldn’t consider a stranger dying “trivial.” Death isn’t trivial. Whether it happened to someone you know personally or not doesn’t affect how “serious” the action is. Of course it affects how emotionally impactfu…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:46 AM
3

Must be a small operation. I’ve worked in 3 restaurants and 3 states and seen 1 female line cook. Probably not supposed to bring this up but it’s also all white FOH and black/Mexican BOH. I don’t disagree it’s an issue. Depends on the state but it’s legal to serve alcohol under 21.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:29 AM
–

Yeah I never got the impression she is actually trying to arouse men so that tracks. It’s not surprising she’s not seen as like a Katy Perry type but I saying she’s unattractive is wild
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:15 AM
–

Yes that’s surprising to me She’s definitely more “female gaze” coded but she’s far from unattractive
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:02 AM
2

Idk, I’d guess extremely attractive men get a lot of attention on dating apps and act the way women do- easily lose interest in conversations because there’s lots of options. I’d also take my experience with a grain of salt. I went to a religious college and so didn’t have a typical experience with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:35 AM
1

No, it’s actually the opposite. But it’s easier on apps because I am socially awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:17 AM
1

The example has been a child the whole time- a teacher raping a student. Why would that be trivial if it’s a stranger but a big deal if it happened to your daughter? That still doesn’t make sense. Of course everyone cares more about their loved ones but they don’t suddenly think something trivial is very serious only if it happens to their loved one. If a stranger thought breaking a nail is a serious medical issue, I would think it’s silly. If my mom thought breaking a nail is a serious medical …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:14 AM
1

Maybe? No but I had some fade out after we didn’t hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:00 AM
1

that’s personalizing it, that’s different Why? Why would you be mad if something trivial happened to your daughter? Every woman is someone’s daughter. I don’t think it’s a feminist bias. Even in the most patriarchal cultures men are upset about that because women are their property and it’s a slight on them. Was he wanking it to you and your friend, or you just stumbled upon a man wanking it?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 11:00 PM
1

Oh I see remarkable women all the time. I’d say the vast majority of men on apps are cute/datable, the difference is there’s 20+ trying to me vs how many matches men get
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 10:13 PM
1

How much do men think “wow” about other men? Probably pretty rare? Even straight women say “wow she’s really pretty” quite often. I don’t know if this is homophobia but it seems like both genders think an “average” woman is more attractive than an “average” man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 08:45 PM
–

I wouldn’t say that last sentence but I think it’s because women think a lot of other women are beautiful so it’s surprising when men don’t
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 08:42 PM
–

So you understand the conundrum haha
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 08:34 PM
–

I’m confused what you’re saying
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 08:00 PM
–

Is that something men would actually want?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:59 PM
2

You asked about women, not me personally. Honestly I don’t go around ranking men in my head constantly. I don’t know if this is a biological thing or just a reaction from being pursued and not having to initiate, probably a combination of both. I’d just say it’s rare that I see a man and think “wow.” I guess maybe that’s the same but I don’t go around thinking “subpar, subpar.” I’d say the vast majority of men, if they are within a normal age range for me and not horribly out of shape, are just …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:58 PM
–

Huh, on the rest of reddit you’d think women should be stoned for being so presumptuous. This does happen quite often and I never know what to do rather than ignoring it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:47 PM
–

I don’t though and he didn’t say it was a romantic thing
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:41 PM
–

I’m not physically afraid of him, just a people pleaser. I’m 99% sure he’s interested, but there’s never been anything explicit. It’s very obvious. I don’t want to hang out with him, I just want to be polite and not ghost, which is what I’d normally do. I overthink social situations 😅 but I’ve realized being socially awkward isn’t a good excuse for acting like an ass
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:40 PM
1

Well I also think the premise is stupid, I was wondering if it was that man or it made sense to other men. I personally don’t honk most men are below average. But in general probably both? On apps I think a good amount of the time men are just not good at taking pictures/don’t have a lot of good pictures of themselves because they just don’t take pictures of themselves often.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:31 PM
8

I would be so happy to never hear the word “virgin” again in my life I’m with you, I hate acting like women and our sexuality is the barometer of morality in society. It doesn’t help women either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:26 PM
–

Yeah, you’re right. I need to just not be afraid of people not liking me and accept he might be mad, even if it’s not justified.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:13 PM
–

It’s like the fifth time over almost a year, probably time to be blunt
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:12 PM
–

I’m not gonna lie I just ignored him because the whole thing felt very awkward. I see a lot of complaints about women being indirect but men do this indirect way of asking out quite often. I just find it awkward and confusing
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:11 PM
–

Men get mad about “orbiters” but also get mad if you assume. Idk, I do think it’s awkward and weird to randomly announce you aren’t interested in someone
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:06 PM
–

Oh yeah that’s shitty. But like “No, I’m not interested” or “No, sorry, I’m busy” ?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:03 PM
–

That’s what I would say, I’m wondering about the men who want women to be direct.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:03 PM
–

That’s where it’s weird to me, I don’t mind going to a movie with someone I know but I don’t want to go on a date with them, and being like “I wouldn’t even go to a movie with you!” feels very weird and snobby but I don’t want to lead this person on either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:01 PM
–

What’s a normal/nice way to say no?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:57 PM
–

Oh yeah haha that’s the obvious one. But I am not interested romantically.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:56 PM
–

So like Man: “want to do something while you’re here?” Woman: “sorry I’m not interested” Is fine and not presumptuous?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:54 PM
–

This is the exact situation where saying “I have a boyfriend” seems very odd. It feels like a trap where any implication that he is making a romantic move is gonna be met with “bitch why are you so arrogant I never said I was interested” but we both know that’s what’s happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:52 PM
–

Q4M: if you asked a girl if she wants to do something, you both know it’s because he’s interested but he doesn’t say that, how would you want her to respond? Edit: and she’s not interested in him romantically
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:43 PM
–

I’m just interested in the difference, how men and women would rate differently as a collective. If an individual man overrates himself, who cares.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:41 PM
–

“it was edited to look human.” yikes
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:33 PM
1

I don’t understand the assumption that if she’s had sex before, it was mind blowing sex that you will never be able to compare to. Why would young men in their teens and 20’s have been spectacular lovers that a mature man who knows and loves his wife could never measure up to? I agree that’s a sexual dynamic that can and does happen, but blanket statements don’t make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:06 PM
8

That’s even worse! I genuinely can’t imagine thinking about raping as a revenge fantasy. Murder is actually more understandable. The closest I can get is thinking that I hope a rapist gets raped in prison, but the thought of doing the raping still sounds vile.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:58 PM
2

I was gonna say, that seems incredibly low now.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:53 PM
1

I would agree with that. I’d just think if that hot blond woman is cold approaching you, you are probably pretty attractive and it’s not unreasonable to think the brunette could be attracted to you as well. If it was like Amy Shumer vs Margot Robbie, then yeah, something is fishy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:49 PM
1

Oh, I did have it backwards. I still don’t agree men are consistent. Most men would be irate if a male teacher slept with their daughter or if a man groped their girlfriend’s ass. they’ll often pretend it’s not when it’s against a woman That’s inconsistency. I also don’t buy that men would think it’s trivial if a man groped them in a club or masturbated in a train while looking at them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 04:57 PM
–

So based just on the two pics provided would you say they are extremely different “levels”? I wouldn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 04:37 PM
10

he wishes he had waited and not slept with anyone before he met you
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:49 AM
–

No. Maybe in the way men think of it I guess. I don’t think the first woman is so much less attractive than the second woman that it shows the second woman couldn’t be genuine. I expected a much less attractive woman in the first photo.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:37 AM
–

I think women AND men find more random women attractive than random men. I do think women rate larger women higher than men do, for a variety of reasons and don’t always do the same for men. This comment, for example, I’m not blind I know why the second woman is getting a higher rating, but it’s just for one trait. IMO they are both very beautiful and one is dressed up. If the first woman cold approached me, I wouldn’t think there’s NO WAY the second woman would be genuinely attracted to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:12 AM
–

idk we need like a mega survey to break it down Every single time a guy posts a ”mid” woman on here I’m shocked. I’ve only seen one post about men and thought their lowest person was the second highest.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:02 AM
1

Seriously, imagine leaving a sexual encounter thinking “well he didn’t SAY he wanted to cum.” wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:59 AM
1

It’s been the opposite in my experience. Men are more often expected to be dominant in bed, that naturally lends itself to being able to tell the woman what to do and give direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:58 AM
–

irl yes, but my point was online it seems like men sometimes underrate women as some kind of “gotcha” that I find hard to believe is real
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:38 AM
–

I think that’s probably correct, at least purely off appearance. Online though it seems as though men rate women other women consider very beautiful lower than other women would. Do men rate other men on a standard bell curve?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:35 AM
1

This isn't true though. I agree women often don’t take male victims seriously but men also don’t always treat assault by female perpetrators seriously. When there are reports of female teachers raping male students, there are both men and women making comments about how he’s a “lucky guy” or how they wish it could have been him. And it’s especially true when the female perpetrator is attractive. Society as a whole doesn’t care much about female on male sexual violence, and that’s awful. I am so …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:27 AM
–

Probably yes, or at least I think fewer men would be considered “above average.” But do men rate most men below average?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 05:09 AM
1

Is that how you treat each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 04:13 AM
2

The way they rate women is also really bizarre to me. I find it really hard believe that men and women really rate that differently and it’s not a “gotcha” used online. It doesn’t seem that misaligned irl, with a few exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 04:12 AM
2

Do you only mean front of house? Every restaurant I’ve worked in is like 80% female FOH and 100% male BOH. FOH is definitely more money so it doesn’t go against your point but I rarely see women in the kitchen.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:55 AM
2

I have to say I totally believed this study and have never seen anything to the contrary before, so thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 12:13 AM
5

You asked what it would look like for a nurse to warn someone. This person answered your question. I don’t understand what you’re looking for in this particular thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 12:08 AM
1

Why would women who like lots of kinky sex want to live in a boring sexless purgatory?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 11:13 PM
1

Now- Higher. I thought I’d marry the first. Most of my life- lower. I thought I’d get married early.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 11:01 PM
5

Most everyone has had a “spark” with someone they didn’t date or have a physical relationship with. Anyone who is dating has had a crush before, whether or not that’s lead anywhere. I don’t think there’s a huge correlation between the past and “the spark” unless you want to date a hermit.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 11:00 PM
–

Oh it’s very unoriginal and basic. I had read something a while ago about not asking people that for small talk and realized how hard it is to avoid and how often people ask this. I don’t think it’s always finishing for info about income, it’s a very ingrained social norm because we spend so much time doing our jobs. It’s also not gendered, it’s the first question asked in groups of women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 10:45 PM
–

What you do for a living is probably one of the most typical conversation openers irl
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 05:53 AM
1

I agree. But the dudes would actually women in this scenario 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 01:23 AM
2

How does this mesh with hypergamy?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 01:19 AM
1

I guess it wouldn’t affect dating much. I wouldn’t try to date women if I was only a man for a day or week lol, what is the point. It would probably be the same actually, clubs full of men (as women) wanting free drinks and there wouldn’t be many women (as men) there because why would they go? Although a good amount would be curious enough to try sex as the other gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 01:07 AM
1

Not really, it’s just a silly thing I could think of that might be annoying to men if they were women for a day
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 12:53 AM
1

Interesting. It’s not the same thing but after working in another position at work for a day, it permanently changed how I did my job because I realized how annoying it was for my coworkers. There’s probably some small things like leaving the toilet seat up that work the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 11:56 PM
2

I’m kinda confused what you mean, if men acting as women would end feminism or if women would end feminism after being men, or if women would kill themselves as men or after going back to being women. I’m curious if you could explain your other points more.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:41 PM
1

Probably true. I think men would enjoy being women for a day but would probably understand the complaints better after a while. But just answer based on whatever amount of time you think is needed. I’m just curious if we “walked a mile in each other’s shoes” if it would actually change anything or if understanding each other is irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:16 PM
1

Why? I think even living a day in someone else’s body would give me some insight into their perspective and probably change how I think about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:09 PM
1

Do you think it would change anything about how men and women treat each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:05 PM
1

Would that change anything though?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:03 PM
1

What about a week?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:03 PM
1

Would that change anything though?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 10:03 PM
3

If all men and women switched genders just for a day, what do you think would change?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:44 PM
1

I would love to date a bisexual man. I can’t stand men who secretly think their penis makes me permanently dirtier or defiled.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:24 PM
1

I don’t get this argument at all. Why add more shame to the equation? What you’re proposing might stop men from “slutting around,” but it wouldn’t do anything to achieve the sexual freedom women want.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:20 PM
1

That’s not what they said though? I think they meant physical fitness, which is an accomplishment
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:18 PM
1

I am very thin and spent most of my 20’s in a femcel mindset, it was absolutely 100% delusion on my part. I really wish I hadn’t wasted that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:07 PM
2

I absolutely hate this. I hate comments like ”no wonder you’re single.” Some of the worst, most immature people have regularly relationships and being single is no indication that you’re a bad person. Although I do find it pretty clear when you read some vitriol from some incels or femcels that some particular people are not in relationships because of their toxic way of thinking and/or lifestyles. But in general, marriage and relationships isn’t an indication of a quality person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 08:59 PM
1

I’m not gonna lie 90% of the time it’s just that I hate small talk and lose the motivation to deal with it, absolutely has nothing to do with the guy or another guy at all (Not saying it’s good behavior, just offering a different reason)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 08:38 PM
1

How we need to “improve their lives” to make getting into relationships with them worth it? Is this bad? If you have been in a relationship that actively makes your life worse, whether you’re a man or a woman, you realize you’d rather be alone. This is the kind of man I’m looking for and I’m trying to improve my life enough to where I don’t have to put all my meaning and value on another person who is just human.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 08:27 PM
1

I fail at dating already as a woman so definitely
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 08:07 PM
–

I think guys would still crave the validation of sex with a non-prostitute. The same reason men don’t want to be “beta bux-“ they don’t just want sex because they have money or other resources, they want to be wanted in a purely carnal way. I also think it would still be a social status thing for men if they can have sex with non-prostitutes. Some would still be pushy because that’s a lot more validating. I also think though women are less interested in casual sex than men, but they still like s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:50 AM
9

I’ll say I’ve used Bumble BFF and it’s like that even on the platonic end. Very hard to have good conversations and/or actually meet up.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:00 AM
3

Well it pretty much avoids discomfort at all because you don’t have to reject someone to their face. It also makes it so you’re not put on the spot and feel social pressure to answer any particular way or fear the other person’s reaction. It’s interesting because when women initiate they usually do give out their number rather than ask for one. I’m not really sure why men wouldn’t want to do it that way. It’s perfectly fine to have emotions about rejection but it’s inappropriate to put them onto…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 03:59 AM
1

Goddam, what am I doing wrong lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 03:26 AM
1

There’s some niche environments where that’s not the case. My college had a 2:1 ratio of women to men so most women were ignored and men were pursued. I’d imagine men in some very female dominated majors or careers are pursued more often. Straight men in drama too. But in general, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 02:19 AM
–

I think she meant “I want a long term relationship not a hook up which is unfortunate because that would be a lot easier to find.” Not the best phrasing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 02:05 AM
4

This is exactly why I’ve realized I want a bisexual man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 01:32 AM
–

I don’t think women can be AS passive as men think. If you sit inside on your phone all day every day you aren’t gonna have a social life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 01:18 AM
–

Oh yeah I mean “afraid” was probably the wrong word to use but I thought most men want to avoid that and it used to seem that was the big concern in dating discourse, women being overeager for commitment. Which I don’t really see any more. It just not be a thing here because it’s more of a “Chad problem” ig
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:33 AM
–

Isn’t that a good reason for men to wait before sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:29 AM
–

Yeah I don’t think anyone wants to waste their time. I do think some men intentionally try to maximize their chances by making it hard to say no and hope they can convince her with some extra time. But a lot of men especially in RP spaces seem more afraid of getting used than getting rejected. There’s a post about how men should offer their number rather than asking for a number and I agreed. Then I realized it’s mostly because I can just take someone’s number and it’s easier to not text than to…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:28 AM
–

Yeah it definitely seems like a very chronically online thing to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:08 AM
–

It definitely used to be a thing, that’s why there’s slang like “stage 5 clinger.” Not that this is the most official evidence but romcoms like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” talk about it. Even in this thread the other comment is asking why I’d think men aren’t afraid of it anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 12:06 AM
–

Seems like an odd definition to me, hopefully other men chime in. I’d call that more clingy than slutty but I get how with that definition they are not opposites like how I’d think of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:53 PM
–

What is slutty then? I’d also be surprised you couldn’t tell who is nerdy and slightly religious after one date or even just the profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:29 PM
–

That’s what I was asking, is it now regarded as a good sign if she’s clingy?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:26 PM
–

What’s an incel wizard?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:18 PM
–

How would a clingy woman be looking to trade up?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:17 PM
–

“Slutty” and “clingy” are almost opposites to me. I guess you can sleep with someone right away and then start talking about engagement rings but I think part of being “slutty” is wanting a variety of partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:16 PM
–

This sub and other social media (I understand this isn’t real life and happy to be corrected) but it seems like there’s a lot of rhetoric about women opposing commitment, “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn.”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:12 PM
–

When did men stop being afraid of “clingy” women?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:57 PM
–

I think it’s the opposite way, if you want a hookup, you go to a club
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:24 PM
1

That’s not entirely true for me but I agree that it’s significantly easier for me than most men and definitely for my male equivalent. Still not sure how it’s relevant to my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:20 PM
–

Ok? I didn’t ask for advice for a night out. That also hasn’t been true in my experience but it’s not relevant either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 09:45 PM
–

I’m not crying. I was being self deprecating and was admitting a lot of the dating advice by women here isn’t really advice to help men.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 09:32 PM
–

I didn’t ask you to feel sorry. You would also be upset if you were led on or wasted time, so I don’t think it benefits anyone to make it hard to reject someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 09:27 PM
–

I think it’s more when I think about a random strange man approaching me, I want an easy out. We’re gonna say something that makes us less uncomfortable, which I think is more likely to be successful but isn’t necessarily primarily about “success.”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 09:09 PM
–

A lot of female dating advice is about making rejecting someone easier and not necessarily about being succesful Edit: *a lot of dating advice women give to men is guided by the desire to make giving a rejection easier, not necessarily helping the man find success
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 08:57 PM
5

You’re not wrong, but that doesn’t really negate OP’s point. I’d prefer getting a number rather than giving out my number.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 08:52 PM
1

What do you think it claimed?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 07:30 AM
0

Creep is a word used as a weapon by fundamentally bad people but asshole has a universally agreed upon definition?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 07:28 AM
4

What a bunch of pigs, why do they have to fill so much prison? Is this a typo? What does this mean? Almost all of these are easy to explain on a social level- it’s empowering because women used to not be able to do them. It’s not particularly empowering for men because they have always historically been doing them. On a personal level- I really hope you have people in your life that are proud of what you’ve accomplished and what you do, and if you don’t, you deserve to have that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 07:23 AM
–

misrepresenting your feelings to get favors That could mean sexual favors or material ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:22 AM
–

Sure but there’s a difference between “wear something fancy” and “you can’t wear yoga pants out”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:20 AM
2

That quote doesn’t mention the get go though. You said “BEFORE they meet you,” then they wouldn’t have gone on a date at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:02 AM
2

I don’t exactly agree with OP. I think you should at least have some sort of reason you’re interested in a woman, even if it’s “we have good banter,” “we have the same hobbies,” “we like the same shows,” not just “she’s a girl who talked to me.” I don’t think OP even thinks you should think they’re special before even meeting or she probably wouldn’t have gone on 100+ dates. That’s how you get to know people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 11:44 PM
–

I grew up religious; they get engaged fast and that’s fast even for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 11:35 PM
–

The last one makes me think it’s satire. If serious, some yes some no. “Worship the ground I walk on” and “princess treatment” are absurd. Past cheating and emotional availability are deal breakers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 11:20 PM
1

Oh, well, I agree in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 11:13 PM
1

Would you describe someone you are interested in as “bland, average, and forgettable?” What attracts you to a woman? She just exists?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 11:09 PM
2

Ok I think we agree lol I don’t think anyone has to necessarily be “special” in some societal way prior to being monogamous. If we are in a relationship and you feel like “my girlfriend just average, not special to me in any way,” that’s very weird and I would leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 11:07 PM
5

How are you defining “special”? If you only fuck one person they are special to you by definition, because they are the only one you have a “special” sexual relationship with. Even in an arranged marriage you inevitably develop memories and habits with that person that make them special to you. There doesn’t have to be anything “special” about someone to make them special to another person. Even mass produced objects become special to people because they develop memories and associations with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 10:55 PM
6

Oh, yeah I guess I just disagree with OP in that. I think there’s a healthy (and large) middle ground between “I’ll just take anyone” and “I need someone who fits every item on a long list.” But I think most men and women already fit in that category. Although seems like most men here think women do the second thing and I don’t date women so idk
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 10:45 PM
3

What are you horrified by?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 05:54 PM
3

Where are you getting that from? Are you only counting a new partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 05:52 PM
11

Being monogamous with someone is by definition being special to them. Truly being “irreplaceable” is actually a toxic codependent dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 05:48 PM
11

That’s a very petty and odd reason though. If it was like “I love the outdoors and go camping every weekend, and she hates that,” it has the potential to work but also has the potential to be a disaster of built up resentment. That’s why desperation is not an attractive quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 05:44 PM
–

Depends, Victoria’s Secret models are very thin but are more of the conventional beauty standard. Runway models not as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 10:23 PM
–

No it’s irrelevant
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:58 PM
–

…do they? Most tall women I know are pretty insecure. I’d also say tall, leggy women are more often seen as conventionally than short men, although 6’2”+ is extremely rare and likely someone from a tall area anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 05:08 AM
2

That’s very true but doesn’t disprove what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 06:21 AM
1

Do you think you are more likely to get attacked if a woman is with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 05:04 AM
10

while other women who had a kid at 16 will teach their kid it’s ok to have a bf and nothing bad if she gets teenage pregnancy cuz she had one also It’s usually the opposite. Mothers (and parents in general) are really emphatic about kids not repeating their mistakes. “I learned the hard way, that’s why you can’t do it” is a trope for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 04:32 AM
0

The women who complain are also not finding success so they don’t feel like they have an advantage
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:47 PM
2

I think it’s just more socially acceptable to talk about things like that online than in real life
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:44 PM
1

No I understand that but there’s some nuance to it. Women also move in groups, not because we view our friends as “meat shields” but because groups are safer. I also prefer traveling with a man to avoid catcalling or being harassed, which just doesn’t happen at all if a man is there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 02:49 PM
–

That seems so insane to me. I’d be curious to go on a dating app with a fake male profile but that seems fucked up so I won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:29 PM
–

Yeah, I would sometimes think “I’ll give it a chance,” because I wanted to meet the right person and going on more dates increased the chances of that. But I also usually just went for a beer or coffee. It’s weird and rude to insist on an expensive date to “see what happens.” (or frankly, any time).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:18 PM
–

Why? Is it no longer Haram after marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:23 PM
–

Why would getting married fix the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:07 PM
1

Something is less likely to happen if a man is around though, is that being a “meat shield”? It’d be equivalent to a wanting a woman around when you’re gonna be around kids, it’s not that now she will look creepy instead, it’s that the fear (looking like a pervert) isn’t going to happen at all because a woman is there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:35 PM
1

I don’t know a single person male or female who would say Chris Hemsworth isn’t muscular. I’d agree if you mean like High School Musical era Zac Efron- he’s not bulky but definitely still toned and muscular. He got big for Baywatch and Iron Claw
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:34 AM
1

I know, hence my original comment
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 11:25 PM
–

I don’t know their content, just going off the article which says “none of the Bop House girls do actual porn.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 10:02 PM
–

I wanted to be Britney Spears when I was a kid, good thing that wasn’t accessible at all at the time. It sounds pretty similar, little girls admiring beautiful celebrities who are usually sexualized. The article says they don’t do porn and most of those followers are on TikTok where it’s less risqué content.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 09:57 PM
–

Tall women are a weird case because a lot of times they’re trying to convince short women to stay in their lane instead of taking the tall guys. Most hopefully mature and stop caring as much once they stop being insecure about their own height.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 08:09 PM
1

You keep going back to “it can simply be what he wants” but that negates the original premise that he’s already stated why. If a woman said “I never got a chance with the quarterback at my high school and I’m still bitter about it,” you wouldn’t think it sounds like if the quarterback hit on her at a bar, she would cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 07:01 PM
1

You never negated my reason, you added other reasons men will cheat. There’s nothing “illogical” or “silly” about it. If you’re still mad about not getting laid in college or not having certain types of women, it sounds like you still want them and if you had the chance you’d go for it. If not having the chance is the reason you didn’t hook up, you are not morally superior. At no point did I even say men shouldn’t want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:40 PM
1

The entire time I have been talking about men who prefer low n women BECAUSE they didn’t get laid in college and you’ve been coming up with random other reasons why men might prefer that and/or cheat. That’s not relevant at all to why it’s a red flag if he wants a low n woman because he didn’t get laid in college. Are there other reasons men cheat? Yes. Are there other reasons why men want a low n woman? Yes. Does that have any bearing on someone saying they want a low n woman because they didn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:25 PM
3

No, but I also don’t think you need to announce your n count at the beginning of a relationship, which could potentially be a “lying by omission” situation. That’s where it’s more of a gray area imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 06:05 PM
–

I’m afraid of falling in love and finding out my boyfriend thinks like this
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 05:12 PM
–

I’m a woman but I think this still applies. Get off Reddit, spend less time online, and get out there and do stuff. Make art, go camping, go to the gym, take a class.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 04:23 PM
1

Have what preference? What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 03:12 PM
2

I’ve had the opposite problem. I kept feeling like I should “give him a chance” and finally realized I was wasting people’s time trying too hard to be nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:47 PM
5

And then they’re like “why can’t I get women?” Like that’s such a big mystery lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:37 PM
1

I have done it and I tried one of those funnels but it’s definitely less convenient. I’ve got a really good system down for hiking but I work on a boat and everyone else just pees off the side.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:32 PM
7

The main thing that disturbs me is that men with this attitude truly don’t like women and don’t want to talk to us. It’s just something to tolerate to get sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:24 PM
–

If you’ve decided not to date someone below your standards, by definition you’re not an incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:20 PM
1

I feel like the vast majority of men didn’t get this at most points in history. Like historically marriage has never led to this kind of treatment. Is it just that modern culture has exposed this as an option?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:53 PM
1

I would love to be able to pee outside/in a bottle/discreetly. I also think sex would be easier. Having highly sensitive external organs that can get hit by something and cause a lot of pain doesn’t sound great though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:48 PM
–

It’s ALSO good advice for women. If his introverted female friends were complaining about being single, that’s exactly the same advice they’d receive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:36 PM
–

I’m the same way. I also had low self esteem and bad social cue reading skills so when men like me I don’t see it until it’s too late and I don’t give any reciprocal signals. That said I think the OP is probably correct that it’s easier for introverted women than introverted men, particularly with online dating being available.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:34 PM
4

There are men like that, I don’t have an issue with them not wanting someone who participated in hookup culture. I only have an issue with men who shame women for hooking up but were desperately wanting to/trying to hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 02:25 AM
7

I don’t give a fuck as long as you’re not calling me as slut for going to the party you definitely would have gone to if you were invited
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 01:50 AM
–

70%
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 01:44 AM
–

I really hate when valuable information gets downvoted because it makes whatever the post was about worse
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 01:44 AM
–

Because we’re always cold
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 01:35 AM
1

Rare and accomplishment aren’t the same thing though. There are tons of rarities like a 6’4 woman that wouldn’t be seen as an “accomplishment.” It’s contradictory to say a man’s n count matters because it takes skill for a man to sleep around but also say that men only need looks to get casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 01:34 AM
1

I don’t understand how this responds to what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 01:18 AM
1

Hence the question
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:45 PM
0

That’s true too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:12 PM
1

I’m American
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:09 PM
1

I mean that’s the goal
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:06 PM
1

Not really, I just want to remind myself there are other romantic options out there but I don’t think there’s a way to do that respectfully, except maybe like a speed dating event
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:55 PM
1

Essentially yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:54 PM
1

I understand why they think that, it just sounds like they’d cheat instantly if they had a chance with a “Stacy”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:50 PM
2

It’s more the feeling of not having someone to come get you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:18 PM
2

I mean specifically when they talk about this in their reasoning. If there’s another reason for it then it doesn’t necessarily mean they will cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:26 PM
1

I am not over my last relationship so I don't think it would be healthy or fair to try to date seriously. I feel like reminding myself other people are out there would be good for me, but I also don’t want to waste their time or lead anyone on. Basically I need to rebound.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:24 PM
2

I don’t think it’s that strange?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:23 PM
1

Depending on the procedure someone needs to come into the office and pick you up. For example a colonoscopy. I don’t know if you can just wait it out in there? But in a situation where you can’t drive they also can’t just send you with a stranger
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:22 PM
1

Is there a good way to date casually without wasting someone’s time if you also don’t want to have casual sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:18 PM
1

Doctors won’t release you to Uber if you were under anesthesia.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 09:18 PM
1

Yeah in that case it seems fair to unmatch. I’ve found once you’ve opened the door for sexual conversation it’s hard to get men to move away from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:49 PM
–

Yeah I just learned this last year. I think you can get a certified medical transport company. I couldn’t find anyone when I got an IUD and ended up just not being able to take the prescribed Xanax so I could drive myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:47 PM
1

Yeah, just say that or “to keep you on your toes,” “it’s more interesting to see how people answer,” “favorite color is a more boring question” Just answer the question genuinely I really can’t blame the guy for taking that one sexually
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:45 PM
4

I always think that same thing when I hear this argument. So many of the men needing a “low n woman” because they couldn’t get laid in college sound like they’d cheat the instant they have the chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:41 PM
–

My biggest fear is having no one to pick me up from a medical procedure
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:39 PM
1

I’d reply with the reason I asked about his second favorite and not his first. I don’t know why you did that or why I would do that so I can’t come up with a response. Maybe like “I’m saving your favorite to make sure I get a second date”? I’m not that good at flirting but “something else” for sure sounded like it was about underwear. Why did you ask his second favorite color?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:34 PM
–

No? The “ohhhhh 😏” is in response to the underwear comment
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:28 PM
–

Probably just like “ohhhhh 😏. So when’s this date?” Idk
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:25 PM
–

Why did you start talking about the color of your underwear? Or did you mean soemthing else entirely. Sorry I’m not sure how else to interpret what you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:21 PM
1

In addition women are told they have an expiration date and are gonna hit “the wall” so there’s a lot of pressure to lock down a relationship in your late 20’s. (Although to some extent it applies to men as well.)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 04:47 PM
–

I love Jack Black. His response was adorable too!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:37 PM
4

Just date and say you’re saving yourself till marriage until you find a woman who says the same
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:13 PM
2

Aren’t red pillers always saying the only thing that matters in men for casual sex is looks? So really it just says the man is handsome which isn’t an accomplishment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:11 PM
–

If I found the perfect man but he was a virgin I wouldn’t care. I wonder how many women find this a dealbreaker on its own and not because of the other implications about the man (which I don’t necessarily think are true)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:02 PM
–

The best gift is always remembering something she’s talked about wanting. Weighted blanket was probably the best gift I’ve gotten for that reason, and because I’m always cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:55 AM
–

I’ve been wondering the same thing. A sub like this but for normal people
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 03:55 PM
-1

I think that advice is more about avoiding dead bedrooms in marriage. I think no one says “you can enjoy wild sex with a promiscuous woman casually and then marry a different woman,” because 1-it’s the exact thing men complain about women doing 2-it’s just an obvious given, and a lot of men aren’t successful at getting casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 03:46 PM
1

I wish there was one like this but less extreme. I enjoy the discussion but it gets to be too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 08:36 PM
0

I wasn’t in one at all until 27. You don’t have to give up hope. But good luck in 2026! I hope you find someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 08:34 PM
1

I get extremely overwhelmed thinking about this whenever I’m in an airplane.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:50 AM
2

Those aren’t mutually exclusive concepts, women want both those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 11:50 PM
–

I do think she looks her best in Scott Pilgrim
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:50 PM
–

Do men not think Brie Larson is attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:31 PM
–

That’s not what the Bible says lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:28 PM
–

It’s funny because Noah is also a toxic weirdo Noah is the “bad boy” of the movie and there is an actual nice guy she leaves to be with him
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:26 PM
–

Yeah I agree with that. I’m mostly comparing with my brother although it’s hard to say how similar we’d be
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 01:28 AM
–

If it’s the same environment, looking at my brother, it’s not much of an assumption
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 01:24 AM
–

Male I would love to have a male body and be encouraged to take initiate instead of being trained to be a doormat
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 12:32 AM
11

Yeah women do it too and I hate it. I just want sex to be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 12:02 AM
5

Paying for a dinner and being penetrated aren’t equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 10:04 PM
26

Honestly I kind of agree with this. I’m tired of feeling like pussy is supposed to be the moral gatekeeper of society or a training tool for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 09:56 PM
12

Yeah I definitely had a man literally scream in my face “I’m so fucking nice to you! I’m the nicest fucking guy!” It sounds fake; it was cartoonishly bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 09:54 PM
2

You are correct but it’s also good to not be trapped in a bad situation because you depend on someone, mentally or emotionally. I think it’s best to pursue making your own life complete and then merging it with the right person, once you have some trust. I agree relationships without any form of dependency are likely to fail. Although fewer and fewer people can live on a single income anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 09:26 PM
1

I want to try initiating more but I realized I’m more scared of getting a yes than I am getting rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 09:12 PM
2

Who said she was drunk? What does that have to do with anything? I’m just wondering if I approached a man in a bar if he’d be assuming I want a ONS.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 08:47 PM
2

Ok? I don’t think that answers the question- a woman approaches you at a bar, are you assuming she is a conservative trad woman? Or when she doesn’t want to have sex that night you would no longer be interested?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 08:39 PM
3

I think it should be considered the same if you sent a gory photo to a random person or women you were just chatting with. How hard is it to just not show your penis to people who don’t want to see it?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 08:36 PM
4

I mean some women like CNC but I’d avoid it unless asked because it’s literally a crime That’s a weird example
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 08:09 PM
1

Any of all of those places I’m not interested in having sex with a stranger but I agree a hard rule like “we have to wait three weeks” is silly
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:57 PM
1

So you are expecting that and would be surprised/irritated if she wanted to wait?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:55 PM
–

Lady in the streets but a freak in the bed This hasn’t ever been a secret
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:54 PM
1

I like dancing but I’ve only been to gay clubs.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:02 PM
2

Q4M: if a woman approached you would you expect a ONS? How would you feel about waiting for sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 06:36 PM
1

It’s definitely a thing I’ve done like in high school when I was very shy but it obviously doesn’t mean that if a woman is standoffish she likes you. That’s just dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:31 PM
1

The only problem with those is taking it as a manual to understand if a woman is into you. It’s a joke about being nervous/shy around your crush, not a hint to men that standoffish women are secretly into you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:28 PM
–

It’s not hard to say. It’s definitely staged
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:54 PM
4

I used to buy flowers and treats and stuff for my ex all the time. Dropped off surprise food on his porch. Baked special birthday treats. Leave little love notes around. I’ve only done it in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:11 AM
2

She’s not trying to mean more, she is just having sex. Who cares what they thought “back in time,“ it’s not a time I’m aspiring to go back to.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 04:01 AM
2

The thread was about people getting into relationships just for regular access to sex. The ideal situation for that person is a long term FWB. I don’t think it’s THE ideal situation, not is it an insult to a woman who wants that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:52 AM
1

I mean my brother is, I’m 5’11 so I think I’d be pretty tall. but I’m super socially awkward. I can’t figure out how to approach a man and that’s much less intimidating imo
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:07 AM
1

I’m serious. But I would likely be 6’3 so maybe not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 02:52 AM
1

Yeah I meant in the context of the sub/online. I usually see this happening in “gender war” or other identity contexts like race so that’s what I was talking about. Obviously I meant the men in the thread, not every man. I agree it’s very annoying that entire concepts get dismissed because they don’t understand the terminology.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:52 AM
2

Glad you found what works for you
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:45 AM
–

You don’t have to agree it’s real to understand that’s what the joke is though
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:40 AM
2

There are so many “gender war” buzzwords that mean different things to different people I do feel like they have no coherent meaning in the sense that they don’t actually communicate anything. The meaning has been so obfuscated or the meaning is so different to different people that the word is essentially meaningless because it cannot be used to communicate. Especially when it’s an internet buzzword that doesn’t have a dictionary definition. For example, last week there was a thread about the “…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:36 AM
–

Ok this makes sense. I thought hyper like excessive and thought it was about women being super sexual and needing variety and initiating divorce
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:29 AM
–

With this definition it makes sense to be pissed off
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:27 AM
–

I knew some child actors who had one big role and it was kind of just a fun fact about them and they were happy. It would be amazing to make a bunch of money as a kid and then be able to disappear and live a normal person life. Like Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I mostly feel sorry for child actors because so many are abused and fame clearly isn’t great for kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:25 AM
–

Yes but in different ways that I normally wouldn’t put together
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:17 AM
5

I’ve only been in codependent relationships where I felt like I needed the person and we ended up resenting each other and losing all my boundaries and values. I also wouldn’t want someone to be with me because they don’t have a job or something. I think there’s a happy medium maybe where it’s not just feelings of liking each other but you feel like you add to each other’s lives and live life as a team.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 10:42 PM
–

Can someone define hypergamy
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 09:25 PM
8

I agree both are terrible but I think women know they can get sex if they really want it so they’re not looking for a long term relationship with a man just to get regular sex. In which case it becomes “I don’t need you, I like you,” which is a much better relationship. Same goes for men who can easily get casual sex. Otherwise the ideal is like a long term FWB.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 08:57 PM
0

That didn’t really answer the question but ok. I mean I don’t think men often lie to and act friendly to women they hate in order to sleep with them. I think it’s really just the opposite of incel complaints- I’m trying to go about my life and just get constantly reminded that what really matters about me is my fuckability. It doesn’t even have to be that, I’ve made friends and then realized they wanted to date my roommate and had the same feeling. Of course you can find someone funny and intere…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 08:50 PM
4

I don’t have a huge problem with it as long as they hold themselves to the same standards, including what they tried to do and not just what they did.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 08:34 PM
1

I do think I’m physically attractive (although not everyone’s type) but socially awkward and I don’t have a career. I can definitely understand why a lot of men would not want to date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 08:25 PM
3

This is just odd. I also dislike casual sex but the fact other people have it doesn’t ruin sex for me
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 08:09 PM
0

Would they feel the same way about a gay man wanting to be friends with them then finding out it’s because they wanted to have sex with them? I realize it’s not exactly equivalent but is it that hard to imagine why that would be frustrating?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 07:05 PM
1

I mean it’s a lot easier to compare 2 than 100. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I grew up in a religious community where they thought sexual compatibility wasn’t real, I saw people get married very young and then wonder as they got older what they could have had or missed out on. I don’t think it eliminates the issue of comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 06:48 PM
17

Girl what?? He’s not asking you on a date, it’s a hypothetical. You said you didn’t want a guy to try to be your friend and he’s asking what the better alternative is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 04:13 PM
1

I would 100% be an incel if I was a man
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 04:03 PM
3

The first one actually sounds like the plot of a Hallmark movie
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:48 PM
1

Define friend zoning. I thought it meant you’re just friends so this sentence makes no sense to me
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:31 PM
1

I’m a woman so not the same situation but that’s exactly what happened once I finally got in a relationship. I wasn’t my own person so it fell apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:29 PM
1

I don’t believe that but I wish I could just go off in the woods 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:39 PM
–

People like to imagine Hollywood is a place where random people can make it big. No one is mad if someone is a lobsterman because their dad and grandfather were too. Hollywood is supposed to be a dream and it shatters the illusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:34 PM
–

A lot of the MRA issues should benefit from real feminism- women winning custody because they are seen as the natural choice for childcare, for example or women getting shorter prison sentences because they are seen as weaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:11 PM
3

Idk my first time I literally thought “oh that’s what all the fuss is about?” I do think it’s possible to have only one or very few partners and still wonder if you could have had better sex with someone else, but I’ll agree maybe less likely
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 08:57 PM
2

Yeah I don’t get the assumption that wild kinky sex only happens in hookups
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 08:51 PM
1

What an odd interpretation. She doesn’t want to risk pregnancy unless it’s with someone she’d consider having a child with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 08:37 PM
1

That’s horrible, abnormal, and unacceptable
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 05:10 PM
0

The men are going to say yes and the women are going to say no lol The women you dated probably all think there was a really good reason to interrupt you, so even they would not think of it as you’re describing
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 05:08 PM
3

YES omg my dad has to do EVERYTHING on his schedule and it’s so frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 03:57 PM
–

What is AWALT?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 03:14 PM
1

Naw if anything it’s revealed more about how subjective it is and why women’s standards might be “too high for their league” based on your rating system.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:12 AM
–

I didn’t call that mature. We both agree your alcoholic friend is immature. I just see her train of thought, which is very incelish. We both agree doomsday incel self hatred is immature. I would disagree there’s not a lot of women who feel that way though. ”I have no flaws, I am a goddess” women often do and is considered their normal This is not normal. I wouldn’t be friends with a woman like that and I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to date her.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:07 AM
–

why did you answer to the OP instead of me On accident sorry
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 03:59 AM
1

but I assume you asked the question with society and culture in mind No, I specifically meant “men HERE,” meaning red pilled men, I could have been more clear with that. could you expand on this? The comments I see here are always about “fatties demanding 10’s” “women having overinflated egos” “women always looking for something better” “women thinking they’re so hot because they got a 10 to fuck them.” I don’t see that in myself or the women around me but it probably exists somewhere. (I know w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 03:50 AM
1

Are you joking? She’s a 9 if not 10
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 03:40 AM
1

Brie Larson a 6????
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 02:25 AM
1

I actually was, but “a 8 dating a 6” isn’t very clear, those are subjective ratings. 10% of the top income guys is clearly an over the top standard imo. Most women I know would just say they want banter/chemistry, someone they’re attracted to, probably taller than them, and has a job. I guess I’m wondering if “chemistry” is just a way to be subconscious about “high standards,” otherwise I just don’t see that reflected in my reality at all. But I’m not trying to date women so I suppose that doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 11:46 PM
–

normally women alternate between “I am a failure” and “I am a goddess” type immaturity except in situations where other women say “she has low self-esteem.” This seems contradictory to me. If “I am a failure” is immature, then women are correctly recognizing it as unhealthy and immature in other women. If it’s self awareness, it’s not immature. The kind of doomsday/suicidal mindset is immature and unhealthy and doesn’t lead to self improvement in men or women, so I wouldn’t call that self awaren…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 11:40 PM
1

society does not have much sympathy for women with low self esteem Ironically I disagree, society has much more sympathy for women with low self esteem than men with low self esteem, largely because women are objectified and seen as passive, so we have sympathy because outside forces working against them. Men are seen as actors and makers of their own destiny so there’s more of a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality around self esteem- “well, then you should just improve.” I think you…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 09:54 PM
1

We need to accept “the reality” proven by “a show you love to watch”?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 09:31 PM
1

Yeah I think men have it harder in dating and especially online dating, in the finding someone/casual stages at least. I don’t think I’m an expert in RP maybe someone else can chime in but a common narrative I see here is that women are always looking for something better and are quick to leave relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:26 PM
1

Well that’s true, but I think low self esteem leads to the “I don’t know why you like me” and codependency, which is the opposite of what red pills say happens. I also think women are less likely to look at it as a romantic “marketplace” and it seems like men really hate it when they do!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:11 PM
1

In terms of behavior, it doesn’t really matter if it’s justified or not. If the billionaire is skipping meals because they can’t afford it, that is still happening. Their actions are still going to be guided by that belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:09 PM
–

I think “I’m a failure, I can’t do anything” or “I’m ugly” is an immature way of thinking that most middle schoolers have. Bravado is equally immature. Most men or women in their early 20’s fall into one of these two. they never get to think they’re below their actual level I don’t think this is true. I’ve seen so many women drag themselves down for the silliest reasons, especially about how they look. I agree there’s a mature form of self esteem that actually propels you to improve instead of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:07 PM
1

Well I guess that’s true, I think there’s definitely times you might chase after someone “out of your league” because without valuing yourself you need the validation of someone “better” than you liking you, then it must mean that you are valuable
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:19 PM
1

Well yeah I know it’s stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:11 PM
–

I don’t think it’s a hard sell, imo, it’s quite sweet in a relationship. But it adds a lot of seriousness if it was supposed to be a casual situation so I think that would lead to some rejection
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:09 PM
4

I’m not? That’s how it seems to me. It’s all “unrealistic standards,” “overinflated egos,” etc Maybe I’m not understanding the red pill but it seems pretty dependent on the women thinking highly enough of themselves to demand men out of their league and/or be willing to leave a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:07 PM
3

I think they think we are too pampered and privileged to be suicidal Access to causal sex isn’t some kind of magic cure all
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:04 PM
1

Can you be more specific? I feel like some women, including myself, actually need more standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:00 PM
–

It’s odd that men here don’t seem to think women can have low self-esteem
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:55 PM
1

It’s obviously a comedy skit and it was hilarious
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:54 PM
1

I do but I’m really hopeful I’ll met someone and realize they weren’t meant to be because there’s someone better for me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:53 PM
1

What’s a high expectation/unreasonable standard?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:52 PM
2

I would move out in that situation, yikes. But I probably would not bring the new bf over. I’d definitely introduce him and probably be okay with hand holding and kissing, not making out. But I feel like making out/excessive PDA is generally inappropriate in front of other people anyway. So I’d probably act the way I’d act with any other friend. If anything, I think the new boyfriend would be more concerned than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:40 PM
2

I feel like best is largely related to the situation and chemistry, not necessarily male performance It’s not like a video game with a leaderboard
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:32 PM
-1

That’s just where we disagree
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:24 PM
3

I don’t get it either 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 06:01 PM
0

I don’t think that’s confusing at all. If I eat a meal, and then get food poisoning it’s not because I wanted food poisoning. I wanted to eat that meal. Obviously no one goes into it thinking “I want to fuck an abuser.” I can see how ignoring red flags is kind of dumb and something to get therapy for, I don’t think that’s the same thing as wanting abuse. It’s the same thing when men get abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 05:58 PM
1

Obviously yes? That doesn’t mean they want to be abused or played. I’ll also admit I think sometimes it’s a subconscious self sabotage
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 05:46 PM
3

Do women usually ask if you are a virgin before doing anything? That seems incredibly odd. I don’t know a single person’s n count.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 05:36 PM
3

Why would it bother me if he got pegged?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 05:27 PM
2

Why though? At most you’d do it once and your partner wouldn’t enjoy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 05:24 PM
3

Exactly, it’s the inconsistency that bothers me. I wouldn’t even mind if it was like “I really had a hard time not having relationships in college and I would struggle with a partner that did because I resent that experience.” I don’t think I could date a widower because I resent the amount of time I’ve been single and it would be a weird dynamic in the relationship. But he didn’t do anything wrong and I know that’s my issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 05:22 PM
2

socially yes. But everyone has intrinsic value
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:32 AM
2

don’t let that imp your self esteem. i know it sucks but it doesn’t mean you are less valuable
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:58 AM
–

why would men have penis envy?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:43 AM
3

I can’t imagine being bothered if I man I was interested in was a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:41 AM
2

I mean it both ways. Everyone has value independent from their sexual experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 02:39 AM
1

100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:43 PM
5

Idk to me leveraging sex to get sex is fine. It’s literally just “we are both doing what we want to do.” I can’t imagine having an issue with this. Passport bros comes across much more exploitative to me, like “I can get a poor woman to do what I want, now she’s dependent on me for a green card and/or income.” You don’t see how that’s worse? I don’t think women mind men “punching above their weight” for other reasons, for example Pete Davidson or David Spade with humor. I’d agree someone like Le…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:39 PM
–

Idk, I’d find it easier to be blunt if it was based on someone else’s opinion. But in general, yeah, women don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. I could not do this experiment at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:04 PM
–

I would say it’s usually “women love dad bods” and people take that different ways
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:33 PM
2

So the problem is they are having sex with people more attractive than they are? That’s a red flag? Theoretically it would be fine if she only had sex with mid guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:12 PM
–

Yeah I have to laugh when it’s like “women only like Chris Hemsworth level guys” like… that’s clearly just not true. But also saying “women love fat guys” is disingenuous
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:05 PM
–

I like muscles but I don’t like body builder or even Marvel hero level muscles.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:00 PM
3

I don’t understand how getting sex easily is a red flag though. It just is the way it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:53 PM
–

To be fair their final ranking was “based on personality” which you didn’t get to see much in the video. I’d be curious to see one where they had to guess the men’s rankings vs ranking for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:41 PM
3

But if you met a woman who played the field after getting divorced, it would be a red flag?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:33 PM
6

It sounds like the same thing you’re doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:23 PM
–

Do you think a lot of men would be willing to do this?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:18 PM
3

I wish my exes went into therapy lol I get what you’re saying but this could be a good thing too
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:15 PM
7

Both could lead to high n count, not committing and playing the field is more likely to It sounds like the issue is how she treats her partners, not how many people she’s slept with
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:43 PM
4

That’s also different from just having a high n count
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:37 PM
9

Yes I agree with that, men certainly chase sex more. I grew up thinking sex was something we did for men and just accepted bad and painful sex because I thought it was normal. I wish more women expected more for themselves. I want a fulfilling sexual relationship and not one where there’s a constant game of having to repress sexual desire because he didn’t “do the right things” and/or “put out” with sex I don’t enjoy because he did some chores or bought me something.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:30 PM
5

Sure, if you view sex as just for procreation, in which case neither person needs to enjoy it. If you want to have lots of sex, you need to make sure the woman enjoys it and not just view it as a reward for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:12 PM
9

I mean I guess it’s sort of a chicken-egg situation. I wish sex wasn’t centered around male orgasm. No wonder there’s so many dead bedrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:03 PM
12

If the woman didn’t enjoy it as much as the man, it’s bad sex. Would you enjoy sex as much if you didn’t get an orgasm from it? You could probably use going down on a woman as a tool to get things from them. Your attitude is exactly why women don’t generally want sex as much as men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:54 PM
15

There is for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:48 PM
2

Having sex or not or how much sex you have does not impact your intrinsic value.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:38 PM
1

Yeah I think a lot of the online discourse is a knee jerk reaction and pretty hyperbolic. In reality dating, sexuality, and gender are pretty nuanced. I read about women online and I’m totally baffled like I do not know ANY women like this. I imagine men do the same with posts about men? Not to mention a lot of posts are fake. But clearly something about them resonates with people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:31 PM
15

Women enjoy good sex as much as men do. When sex is bad for women it’s significantly worse than bad sex for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:26 PM
12

I don’t think men have to pay. But if I did, I think paying for a meal isn’t equivalent to sex. I think most women who do think this way think the thing the woman contributes is getting dressed up, wearing makeup, etc. (which, again, is not something I personally think). Either way paying for a meal is not equivalent to sex. I also think that frames sex as something that is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:09 PM
0

At which point the exact same behaviors are praised as empowerment No, the woman’s behavior is praised as empowerment. The men aren’t regarded as empowered for buying OnlyFans content, in fact they are seen as creepy and pathetic. It’s seen as predatory/creepy in both cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:53 PM
1

It seems like most men here are defining the friend zone totally different than most women do. Of course I immediately went to dismissing the idea that being friends with a man and not having sex with him is abusive. That’s absurd. If he said stringing men along or breadcrumbing I wouldn’t immediately dismiss it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:45 PM
0

In regards to porn/OnlyFans, it’s because women are dealing with creepiness anyway, so you may as well make money off it. Women’s sexuality is often treated as a pawn in men’s competition with each other and women are often regarded as sexual objects without agency. So when something like WAP comes out or OnlyFans comes out, it’s cheered as a woman taking on sexual agency and spinning something negative into something that benefits her. So male sexuality is seen as predatory and creepy the whole…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:39 PM
-2

I agree it’s harder for men to get dates and online dating in particular is harder for men. It’s just don’t agree it’s “so easy” for women or “women live life on easy mode.” We have different challenges.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:28 PM
1

I grew up in that Puritan environment too and I find this really sad. I think people who didn’t grow up religious can’t really comprehend how deep the programming goes and how long it takes to undo it. I do see where the women are coming from but I also feel sorry for the guy. That shame is so deep. I’d also like to see the thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:16 PM
8

As a woman I’ve also been called dumb for not thinking a man is hitting on me. (And usually by men) I try to just be polite until it’s clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:08 PM
2

Yeah it’s super confusing because going dutch could just as likely mean she is a feminist or it’s important to her to pay for dates. Clear communication like “this is a date,” “we are exclusive,” “do you want to come back to my place” is pretty necessary now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 04:08 AM
3

if we were to assume that men are leaving marriages without filing paperwork at the same rate that women are divorcing with paperwork Why would we assume that? The implication is part of the 70 to 80% is women whose husbands skipped town but didn’t file paperwork. I don’t really think this is common but what a goofy assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:56 AM
2

Ok, I would define those as “stringing someone along,” not exactly “the friend zone.” And all seem like bad behavior and blaming it on the patriarchy is silly. I’m sorry you dealt with all that. I’ve definitely been on a date and not realized it was a date before, but I think a fancy restaurant would clue me in. When I was using dating apps I sometimes would go out with someone that I didn’t feel a lot of interest in but if they asked me on a date I felt like why not at least go and see if we cl…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:46 AM
1

Yes, how are you defining it? To me it is a friend who is not a romantic or sexual prospect at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:56 AM
1

I don’t think it’s fair to ban someone from a social group or ban myself because someone was interested. It would really suck to ask someone out, get rejected, and then stop getting invites to parties or whatever. The more common one for me is I suspect someone might be interested but they don’t say anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:55 AM
1

If I’ve outright rejected someone, I’m not gonna initiate a lot of one on one hang outs. If I suspect they might have feelings I will probably just act normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:43 AM
1

If you’re going on dates you’re not in the friend zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:31 AM
1

It reminds me of the movie “500 Days of Summer.” Hard agree with the “running interference” type friendzone. I’ve had that happen to me and it’s really unfair behavior. But you agree it’s fine to just have male friends you don’t want to have sex with right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:29 AM
1

I get what you’re saying in general but my comment was gender neutral and not blaming men. If someone is hanging around pining after someone who isn’t interested, they need to take the initiative to walk away. That’s because of my own experience being “friend zoned,” not a cultural expectation of blaming men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:14 AM
1

I wouldn’t even fault the man in that situation, he’s actually being quite clear. I think in both situations the person with feelings is willing to accept “something” over “nothing,” basically they are willing to get hurt just to be around the person they love. I guess the question is how much of it is intentional misleading vs how much is willful/hopeful misinterpretation on the other person’s part, which is impossible to truly know. It would be nice if people tried to protect each other and al…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 02:00 AM
1

Yeah I see the issue with the second one, especially “let’s be friends first,” that implies it’s going somewhere romantic. I would define the friendzone as just a male friend I don’t have romantic interest in. I think that’s why all the women ITT are saying thinking that’s abusive is totally insane. It’s literally just a male friend I am not going to have sex with. Edit: I also have had the first one happen, I think that’s how women are interpreting “friend zone:” I told this guy I’m not interes…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:38 AM
–

But why would you try to avoid getting pumped and dumped when you’re just looking for a ONS
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:14 AM
2

Sure, I think it’s nuanced and depends on the people involved. I’ve been on both sides of it and ultimately I fault myself more than I’d fault the guy for not cutting me off. Could he have done a better job distancing himself? Yeah. I’ve also had guys mad at me for cutting them off so it’s kind of a lose-lose situation. That person’s feelings are just going to be hurt no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:34 AM
2

saying you are not interested in dating right now but could be friends is lying if you are actively dating Does it hinge on this? “We could be friends but I’m not interested in dating you” is more honest but leads to the same situation. Are you mad about her calling you or not calling you? If I’m telling someone I don’t want to date but we can be friends then I’m gonna leave the ball in their court if they want to be friends/how close they want to be, otherwise it’s going to be exactly what you’…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:26 AM
5

If I told someone I’m not interested and he buys me gifts, I’m just uncomfortable. That’s strange behavior on his part. Cheating on your partner is repulsive and not in the same realm. Also if sex is involved, not the friend zone. I can agree that milking someone’s unrequited feelings is not great and something both genders should protect themselves against. I call that breadcrumbing. I also hate when someone doesn’t want to date you but “runs interference” when someone else acts interested. As …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:08 AM
5

Oh I guess we have different definitions of that then lol I call this “breadcrumbing”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 09:31 PM
4

I’ve been on both sides of the friend zone and I think it’s really on the interested party to take initiative and back out if they can’t handle just being friends
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 09:26 PM
12

Saying you want to be friends and not more than friends is representing your feelings accurately. I would also say pretending to be a friend and misrepresenting your feelings to get sex or a romantic relationship is gross. I would agree milking an unrequited crush for favors is nasty behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 09:00 PM
17

Yes, actually, ALL the men in your life doing this and when you push back they’re like “I know how guys think.” But when you assume things you’re arrogant and/or paranoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:55 PM
16

Being friends with someone as an abusive dating tactic is wild
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:51 PM
8

Yeah I was trying to agree with you/the above comment. Having to be the initiator is exhausting and mentally taxing, I don’t think men are inherently better at it and I really have a lot of empathy for men who don’t want to but have to in order to have a romantic/sexual relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:18 PM
7

Yes, also the misandry complained about a lot in the sub is also widely present in religious circles. It was pastors that told me I had to hide my body because men were like uncontrollable animals. It was pastors who acted like men just can’t help themselves and had a “boys will be boys” (not in the fun “throwing rocks and shit” way) mentality. Feminism actually taught me to expect better of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:13 PM
6

It’s definitely this and being trained to not speak up when we are upset or trust our own emotions. It makes me suspicious because I am secretly unhappy sometimes and don’t say anything. It’s something I noticed in my last relationship and am working on.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:54 PM
9

I actually understand and relate to this. Rejection is a universal emotion and I wish we could draw more from that to relate to each other, even though we don’t all experience it in the same way. I don’t have the social awareness or strength to ask out men the way society asks them to for women and I do hope that changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:52 PM
17

This is my biggest one. Yes I could find someone who would have sex with me, it would probably be painful and I wouldn’t have an orgasm. It’s not “bad sex is like bad pizza” for me, I would really rather not have it at all. Not to mention the social shaming and stigma afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:44 PM
17

To piggy back this, a lot of the messaging about being wary about men came from my very not feminist evangelical church/Baptist grandmother. They just had the opposite solution as feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:36 PM
1

I mean that’s not any different than a bar or a club
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:25 PM
1

Probably so, I was just shocked at the kind of messages she got. I wasn’t particularly discriminate at all and never got messages like that
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:16 PM
3

I also haven’t gotten any vulgar or excessively rude messages. I wonder if it’s dependent on how “attractive” you are. I had an overweight roommate and she would get messages like “my day is worse now that you’ve messaged me!”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:54 PM
1

I used to work with a guy and he would stay after his shift to do the crossword puzzle with me. I was like “it’s cool he likes crossword puzzles so much”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:45 PM
1

Yup, I agreed with that part
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:33 PM
1

I agree actually but I still don’t think women sit around worrying about not being the best at sex
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:30 PM
1

Oh, no. Probably not everyone’s type but in general no.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:25 PM
1

When I was writing this thread I thought “am I just autistic actually?” But lots of people that know me have thought I was crazy for thinking that so idk
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:23 PM
1

Dunno what that means
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:21 PM
3

Or religious people being weird
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:05 PM
1

I’m so bad at fake laughing too. 5 years in retail and several times I tried to fake laugh at a corny joke and the person literally apologized for making the joke
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 06:57 PM
2

I do not get the hints when somebody likes me and I also can’t flirt. One time I tried to flirt with a friend and he literally said “stop acting weird.”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 06:50 PM
1

I hate the thought that we have to train men to be decent people with the promise of sex. Sex isn’t supposed to be a dangling carrot as a reward for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 06:14 PM
2

Aren’t men in college and in their early 20’s notoriously focused on having lots of sex already?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 06:09 PM
1

Yeah this one is weird because you also have places where it’s legal to be topless and the “free the nipple campaign” because breasts aren’t genitalia. I kinda agree- also with a penis you have a noticeable difference if it’s flaccid vs erect that can make it pretty obvious if something is done with sexual intent. (I realize it doesn’t always work that way but something that’s very different from female anatomy.)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:39 PM
6

Yes, women like sex more than cooking and cleaning
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 01:02 AM
–

I mean we can only speculate. But even within a relationship you can think “the best sex we ever had was that time on vacation” but still have enthusiastic and adventurous sex other times.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 06:05 PM
–

I see where you’re coming from in a lot of respects but yes
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 05:51 PM
–

The woman from the post very likely does all that with her husband. There’s a huge range between “best of my life” and “pity sex.”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 05:38 PM
8

I think I understand what you are getting at. Women are not generally seen as sexual aggressors so things like public nudity for women are seen as accidental or even like they are the victims, at worst just “slutty.” Whereas public nudity for men is seen as a sex crime. I don’t really think this is going to change any time soon though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 05:30 PM
–

Using “cuck” that way is chronically online
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 01:33 AM
–

Probably yes but definitely yes if my dating philosophy included how important it was for him to not have sex before getting married and him not knowing about the issue beforehand
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 11:26 PM
–

No, obviously, that’s a pretty bad situation
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 11:15 PM
–

I don’t think that would be amicable lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 10:10 PM
1

“That’s not what your dad said last night” is not a common joke at all. And acting like going to the gym is the same as having sex is really odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:58 PM
–

Q4M: would you feel “conned” if you married a virgin but PIV sex was too painful for her
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:26 PM
–

I don’t know who this is but I don’t think he’s ugly (physically)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:22 PM
–

Probably depends on the place/field. Most of my jobs have been 95+% white.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:22 PM
–

I grew up Christian and the dating pressure was SO intense. I remember this guy went a walk with a girl and then stopped talking to her, everyone thought he was such a douche. Looking back, he took her on a super casual “date” and then changed his mind. Pretty normal. It was insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:13 PM
–

Yeah it seems like a complete dumpster fire to me too Finding someone and then STILL dealing with the OLD circus? It’s a no from me
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 05:34 PM
–

I don’t think the government is gonna sort out the nerds haha But I get what you mean. It would be nice to grow up with some help finding the types of people you connect with and having a bigger network to pull from
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 05:32 PM
–

But that would be the case in whatever socialization program the government created too
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 05:20 PM
–

Isn’t that sort of what public school is?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 05:19 PM
–

fwiw all the poly people I know are super fit yoga people
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 05:17 PM
–

For what?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 08:05 PM
–

There’s a really interesting TED talk about this. Basically, no. Women are less likely to have an orgasm from casual sex, more likely to be shamed, and more likely to be physically harmed. But without these factors women don’t inherently enjoy it less.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 08:02 PM
7

I know men who have done this, everyone thinks it’s funny because nothing bad happened to him and no one suspects anything bad happened to him. Women simply have to be more careful than men. It will never be a 1:1 gender flip scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 07:58 PM
1

I agree she’s awful but nobody’s out here wondering why her career dropped off, as opposed to like Ansel Elgort or Jared Leto who does have a thriving career
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 07:26 PM
1

I thought it would be nice to understand each other better, didn’t think about coming out of it thinking worse of men
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 11:30 PM
1

I wish we could all spend a week in a “Being John Malkovich” type thing with the opposite gender
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 11:18 PM
–

The first one is an oversimplification and I’ve never heard anyone say that. I think what you’re referring to is the idea that how fast a woman sleeps with someone isn’t solely dependent on how sexually attracted she is to him, which isn’t the same as “I slept with him but wasn’t attracted at all.”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 11:13 PM
1

How is it illogical to not want to be sexually harassed and also not be ignored? Just treat your colleagues like colleagues.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 06:57 PM
5

A tone deaf comment by Hillary doesn’t represent feminism. A refugee who lost her home and family is profoundly affected by war. Living in a war zone can cause death or PTSD. It just sounds stupid in the US context. ”I don’t like war because I don’t want something to happen to the men I love” isn’t making it about yourself, it’s only upsetting because we care about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 06:28 PM
8

It’s just more fun to connect with someone naturally than go on a blind date. It’s not very complicated. But from a rejection standpoint OP is right, it’s much more awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 06:02 PM
-1

I wouldn’t say Asia Argento has a thriving career. I only know her name because of a post about her being a rapist yesterday. I don’t disagree with your first point at all but both men and women perpetuate that idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 05:45 PM
1

After
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:41 AM
1

Through hobbies. It’s always been because the man made a move. I wouldn’t recommend just befriending a woman and hoping she’ll change her mind as a dating strategy. I think you are correct, that’s setting yourself up for failure. I’m just saying for that lust was just as strong as it was for men I found attractive immediately. I’ll admit I might have not enough experience/weird experience to be an “authority” on this but seems like other women on here feel the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:04 AM
1

never be forgotten As opposed to a husband, definitely forgettable
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:04 AM
2

Oh shit you’re right. Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:58 AM
1

Through hobbies. It’s always been because the man made a move. I wouldn’t recommend just befriending a woman and hoping she’ll change her mind as a dating strategy. I think you are correct, that’s setting yourself up for failure. I’m just saying for that lust was just as strong as it was for men I found attractive immediately. I’ll admit I might have not enough experience/weird experience to be an “authority” on this but seems like other women on here feel the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:25 AM
0

I think if you’ve gotten years into a marriage you should have enough chance to develop skills, at that point it’s not that you didn’t get laid in college
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:08 AM
3

It wasn’t for “pair bonding” though, it was because birth control wasn’t available and they needed to ensure any pregnancy was from a marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:05 AM
2

No
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:44 AM
2

Less rare
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:35 AM
2

I don’t think reserve is the right term, although that’s true too, but I can just genuinely stop feeling any attraction at all. even a hot guy to them is not as attracted a pretty girl is to men Yeah, I think that’s pretty much what they’re getting at in the thread. I’m sure the chadfishing thing happens but just seems like such a strange thing to get so hung up on. That’s like me needing to be Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wallstreet and not believing I’m attractive unless I can get that reaction. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:34 AM
2

I think the difference is that it seems to me that hot women don’t often talk themselves out of getting laid. Physical attraction is part of the reason I’m drawn to someone, but they can easily say the wrong thing and make me totally uninterested in sex. That’s why I’d think it’s not just looks alone, but I don’t have to talk to someone to think they are hot. Looks is a part of it but it’s rarely all of it. And on the other hand, there’s men I was not drawn to purely physically at all and then s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 11:54 PM
3

The people in that thread are saying what i just said lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 11:02 PM
2

I don’t think anyone thinks that, we can say if someone is attractive or not based on looks alone. I just don’t often think like “omg that man is so hot I NEED to have sex with him right now.” I could have that feeling and wait several dates. It just seems like men are looking for this feeling of like “I couldn’t control myself he was so hot,” not just “I found him hot before I even started talking to him”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 10:39 PM
7

In my early 20’s I definitely thought 31 was too old
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 10:30 PM
–

That’s a pretty well-known scam/human trafficking tactic
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 09:32 PM
1

You mean if it was a 30 year old woman with an 18 year old man? I agree for the most part, although I do see criticism of Sam Taylor-Johnson and Taylor Swift pursing Connor Kennedy. It doesn’t seem to be highlighted as much and so doesn’t seem as common, I don’t know if that’s accurate or not. That’s also not a reason to justify men doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:44 PM
2

I mean I think there’s a middle ground between acting like she’s a little baby who can’t make decisions and shaming her for “wanting to be a fuck doll.” I just don’t agree that’s her motivation and in cases where it is, being a trophy wife or a gold digger IS looked down on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:14 PM
1

I don’t really disagree with either of those. I think the first point would probably be accepted if coming from a woman, although that doesn’t really make it more valid than when a man says it, just comes across more as control and less as wise advice. I would definitely tell my nieces not to date much older men in general and I think most women would do the same. I also agree young men are generally regarded as immature, again unfairly so.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 07:11 PM
1

Totally agree, it’s really disturbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:31 PM
–

If you didn’t get off, would you feel used for sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:05 PM
13

I don’t agree with the implication the 20 year old wants to be a fuck doll. It’s really common young women get pursued and told they’re “so mature for their age,” and it seems like an honor they’re mature enough for an older man. Once you are 30 yourself you realize 18-20 year old you was not mature, he was just looking for a fuck doll, and a 30 year old man would have known that. That’s why he gets shamed more. If you look at other examples, Bill Bilichek and his girlfriend get shamed pretty eq…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:49 PM
–

Ok fair point
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:51 PM
–

I am a woman, I would choose the random man. But why would I assume bear is 100% going to attack me? Would you rather get shot in the head or raped and shot in the head? That’s a better equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 03:05 AM
1

Did you create the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 02:59 AM
–

This is how I’ve always thought about it and to take the manosphere point of “the bear will fuck you up,” you have to assume it would attack you. It makes no sense to assume the bear would attack you yet assume it’s a random man with the normal likelihood of attacking you. Yet, a lot of manosphere types did this and acted like it was way more logical than women’s thought process.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 02:56 AM
–

Yes I’ve been around a lot of bears and I think that every time. Like…a bear because it would be cool to see a bear. I’ve even seen a grizzly in the woods and it also just ran away. I didn’t understand the red pill/manosphere response of “are you kidding? A bear would FUCK YOU UP.” No, that’s very unlikely. However it did seem like most of the general public doesn’t know this so the debate was a bit strange on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 02:53 AM
0

Her being gay or not really isn’t relevant at all because it’s not sexual. If she’s uncomfortable that’s what matters. People have a harder time understanding nonsexual boundaries. I’ve had this happen a lot with women going “oh, im a hugger!” Ok, I’m not? Between women and men it’s assumed sexual intent. It’s not between women which is why it’s not really discussed as much when it comes to consent. I actually don’t disagree with your post but if she was gay, it would still be inappropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 02:45 AM
3

Tbh I always thought it was odd when a gay man does it as well. The point is whether the other person enjoys it/is ok with it, not the person doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 02:38 AM
2

I agree with your general point but I do see people call MTG, Lauren Bobbert, and Anne Coulter ugly and other nasty stuff a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 01:25 AM
2

Doesn’t matter the gender, matching just to insult someone is nasty
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:34 PM
1

Oh I agree, my point was just that I got that messaging from men. I don’t see the men mad about “women choosing the bear” getting mad about memes about dads meeting prom dates with shot guns or things like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:30 PM
1

That’s very true. I’m just saying neither is actually going to attack me. So you kinda have to assume they will both attack you to even answer the question. Otherwise it’s a non question like would you rather see a dog or a cat. Would I rather see a random man or a bear that’s 100% going to attack me? Obviously a man. “I would rather be attacked by a vicious wild animal than be alone with a man” is insane and it’s bizarre to me it seemed like some women were saying that. The whole thing is stupi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:08 PM
1

I’m not saying there aren’t toxic women but a lot of the toxic men and women online are bots. We just saw that and yet we’re all so addicted to the outrage I don’t think it will stop anyone. That’s the scary part.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:42 PM
0

I think the point for me is I’d rather just die than get raped and die. In reality most men are unlikely to attack me at all but actually so are most bears. Most people seem to assume the bear will definitely fuck you up, but bears usually just run away.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:40 PM
3

What’s interesting is growing up I was constantly told men are pigs BY men. It was always men that made men sound like savage animals- “you don’t know how we think,” “once a man gets going, he can’t stop.” My dad is the one terrified that I travel alone, my mom is nervous but significantly less so. It seems like in the last few years that kind of language has become way more common in women and now I see those same spaces talking about “the war on men.” I don’t think it’s appropriate either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:35 PM
25

I understand what you’re saying but I wonder how much of this is that feeling of being left out/everyone else can do this easily. I definitely had the feeling of “everyone else is having an easy time with this and I’m a weird freak.” I wonder if I would have done better if it did match societal trends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:01 AM
1

I guess, how do men define it and why? Can you see how it’s uncomfortable if you make a move that doesn’t have a way to reject it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:52 PM
1

Yeah I think that was the fundamental misunderstanding. I actually think that explains the original post as well, like there is a way to make a move that’s actually a “chickenshit move,” that’s why there’s contradictory responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:51 PM
–

Which it makes sense that young people are here. I think as I’m older I have less of a chance logistically I guess but I’m aware of how much me and my environment can adapt and change and not like life is over after 25, so im ultimately more hopeful.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:08 PM
–

Yup, that’s exactly how I felt, like “I don’t know how to change so there’s no way my situation could change.” Then feeling like omg no way can I make it through like 60 more years of this
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:06 PM
2

If you’re wanting “just anything” then yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:52 PM
2

Oh, like I have to lie to get sex but you don’t have to lie to get married, therefore it’s worse?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:33 PM
2

I’m just curious if the OP thinks that logic applies the other way around. If they do, at least it’s consistent 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:28 PM
2

I just reread this and my bad. creates this environment you said was very uncomfortable when unattractive men do it I didn’t say that. The environment is when “unattractive” men hang around but don’t make a move. Not to be harsh, but I don’t like rejecting people, and it just delays the inevitable, or I have to initiate rejecting someone, which is even worse. I also don’t understand when people complain about “orbiting,” what is the alternative? I don’t like what I’d call “half-moves” This has h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:27 PM
2

That’s a common talking point here- women lying about their n count to “con” someone into marrying them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:05 PM
2

Even if you’re “successful” on dating apps they are dreadful. Like at their best they are still awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:04 PM
3

Do you think it’s okay for women to use this justification for lying about their pasts to get a husband?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:55 PM
6

Yes but some people know they DON’T want a long term relationship. They could change their mind but I don’t want to gamble on that. If they’re wanting to “just see where it goes,” they can say that too. I agree “I’m looking for a long term relationship” isn’t that helpful because that really has no bearing on if that will work out with me. But if they don’t want a ltr and just want something casual, I don’t want to work at changing their mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:50 PM
1

To be fair, when people say they “can’t do anything” they mean they can’t do it without social shaming or criticism. So I do think they are correct in that. Trump won twice but there still is a lot of criticism and social shaming of MAGA voters.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:46 PM
–

Oh I had the exact opposite reaction and now I’m like why tf did I just give up in my early 20’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:43 PM
1

Right? Like it IS different women but before approaching them you have no idea if she thinks it’s creepy to be approached in public or if she thinks that’s okay as long as you are polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:41 PM
1

Ok but the term is about how someone handles rejection
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:19 PM
1

it doesn’t matter if she likes you just be first Definitely not what I said at all. My point is if you’re making a move, make it clear it’s a romantic move and leave a space to say no. Don’t say “oh my brother was going to come and he backed out and I just need someone to come because of the carpool lane, do you want to come?” Say it’s a date. I’m not trying to create a dating playbook for men. I got called a bitch for going out with someone who asked me instead of a friend I didn’t know liked m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:14 PM
1

I guess I need to clarify “making a move,” that was my bad. I’m not uncomfortable with someone asking me on a date or for my number. I am uncomfortable when it’s like putting a hand on my knee. It’s a clear signal he’s interested but it’s also not something that gives me a clear way to say no and feels like I have to randomly announce that I’m not interested in him. Another example is a man who did ask me on a date but then was like “I just need to get something from my apartment first,” very un…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:00 PM
1

Yes but it’s obviously it’s not the only factor. He still has a better chance than if he didn’t make a move. If there’s two people she’s mildly interested in, then the first one will get the date. Yes, you could also make a move and get rejected but not making a move is just awkward for everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 12:51 AM
1

No, because it’s about ANOTHER MAN. It’s not really about past behavior, it’s about another man being better or just having been there before. None of those things are pawns, those are preferences. I mean things like “I fucked your mom” or “I slept with your wife,” women’s sexuality is used as a tool in the power games of men. I would find it nasty for women to do that but it’s just not used that way often from what I’ve seen. I don’t have an issue with behavior based preferences, even like “I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 12:44 AM
3

Alright everyone is roasting you but I’ll say I would be confused af if I was a man
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 11:12 PM
-1

I have no idea what the fuck he’s talking about lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 11:06 PM
1

I mean “women like men who make a move” is a generalization. It doesn’t mean if you make a move, that woman will like you. It’s also not really what I said. act like a woman is a bitch for liking a guy who made a move over someone who doesn’t I simply mean, if you didn’t ask someone on a date, how can you be mad she goes on a date with someone else? I didn’t make a move on a guy I liked, now he’s with someone else. I think he would have rejected me but I certainly can’t be mad he said yes to ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 11:05 PM
1

Sometimes it’s just different and sometimes something is just worse. I’m trying to be empathetic and understand this perspective, but in the end maybe it’s just something I find nasty. What’s something that’s a pawn in female fantasy? I think the root is I think I was taught sex is something FOR men, like it’s something men do TO women. It makes it feel dehumanizing and shameful.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 10:52 PM
1

I think I understand what you’re saying, it’s you trying to pleasing them regardless of whether or not it does please them. I can’t imagine caring that someone has cooked for someone else before I met them. It’s definitely not new to me, that doesn’t really make it any more palatable. I think it makes me feel like sex for women is being a pawn in a male competition/fantasy. I think I understand it, it just grosses me out and makes me wish I didn’t want to have sex with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 08:34 PM
2

Men hearing that women like men that make a move leads to men hanging around women but not making a move?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 05:57 PM
1

What environment do you think I’m talking about? You’re describing wanting to understand why someone would like someone and not someone else which is much more complicated. I would be stating the real reason that made me want the specific people So if a woman is interested in you and you are not interested in her, you’d say something like, “hey, I actually like that girl because she’s blond/thin/[______]”? Out of the blue? I’m just saying someone needs to initiate the conversation, and I think i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 05:39 PM
1

If you can tell someone you aren’t interested in is interested in you and they don’t make a move, you can: A- ignore it and continue acting normally B- try to distance yourself politely C- tell this person you’re not interested unprompted It’s just awkward and someone will be mad at you for doing any of these options.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:57 PM
1

No, he announced in the same conversation he had feelings for me and that’s why he was acting that way. maybe he was genuinely nice to you and maybe you were unkind to him? I’m sure that’s what happened from his POV, but the things he was mad at me about were like I didn’t give him a bite of my burger, or I took a different route to the spot we planned to meet up. He was a belligerent alcoholic who got drunk at every opportunity and would get high and then try to have nonsensical conversations. …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:51 PM
0

I can definitely see how it’s confusing and like a minefield. I would be afraid of being labeled creepy too. But imo a guy who asks me on a date and accepts a polite rejection isn’t a creep.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:44 PM
1

How? these are the men who’ve heard you say you like the man who makes a move I don’t announce that. I also don’t understand how that would contribute to guys not making a move, like you said it’s an incentive to make a move. Obviously making a move isn’t always gonna lead to a yes. I’ve been had unrequited crushes so I get being in that position sucks. But if you can tell someone is interested in you and they don’t make a move, you can: A- ignore it and continue acting normally (“orbiting”) B- …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:29 PM
5

I don’t care if it’s a preference like “I like Latinas,” I can find other men. But it’s always stated like “Who wants a run through whore?” It’s just nasty even though I obviously don’t want to date that man, I would say the same if they used racial slurs instead of just stating a preference. I also don’t think short men should be made fun of though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 11:34 PM
4

I meant explicit like asking me on a date. Then we’ve established there’s some kind of attraction there, I can say no or address that I’m not really feeling it on the date. What’s awkward is some kind of half move because you’re nervous to make a move. I’ve had this happen several times where guys give reasons for something (“oh I just need to grab something from my place first” or “you know a lot about this, will you go with me and show me the ropes?”) where I can’t say “no you can’t grab somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 10:55 PM
–

Isn’t breast size the obvious one? I don’t think this is the best example because eventually I found the right medicine, but for a long time, acne. It also was sort of an expensive and frustrating medical process to fix.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 10:08 PM
1

When I say I’m attracted to very few men, I mean I almost never look across the room and am attracted based solely on appearance. I much more regularly interact with men and think I could date them. I think this is also genuine attraction but seems like a lot of men really want the validation of being that rare eye-catching guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 09:01 PM
2

Most women are aware it’s a skill, that’s why they complain about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:27 PM
1

That’s exactly what I already thought and I find it very frustrating
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:15 PM
4

I usually do distance myself. I do get there are women who take advantage of that situation as well. I still think it’s weird to out of the blue just say “hey I don’t date my guy friends!” Then you get accused of being arrogant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 06:15 PM
8

I definitely understand anxiety. I don’t think that’s a problem but it’s weird to get mad that men who do make a move are successful. Or act like a woman is a bitch for liking a guy who made a move over someone who didn’t. That’s another mark of being a Nice Guy vs a nice guy. I also said this in another comment but it’s very uncomfortable when you can tell a man likes you but is afraid to make a move and you’re not interested. You can’t just randomly announce you’re not attracted to him but if …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 06:03 PM
27

Like a lot of social media terms Nice Guy just got overused and lost all meaning. Almost all the men I know are nice guys, the only “Nice Guy” I know screamed at me that he was “so fucking nice to me” and “didn’t get anything out of it.” It’s supposed to be someone who acts nice to get sex/a relationship and is actually an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 05:36 PM
8

I don’t necessarily disagree with this post and I understand it would be very confusing for men. But to add a different perspective I hate when I can tell a man is attracted and is “copping a feel” for sexual reasons but it’s not bold enough to warrant a rejection. This is what I find creepy is like you’ve pushed the boundaries in a way where there’s a plausible deniability- if I freak out, I’m overreacting because it “wasn’t sexual” but it still makes me uncomfortable. I would rather someone ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 05:25 PM
–

Q4M: what is “bad sex” to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 05:16 PM
6

So you’re implying the women who agree with you are lying so you can think women are stupid? What in the mental gymnastics is going on here
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 11:10 PM
4

Why are you only commenting this on one perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 10:28 PM
1

I don’t disagree with you necessarily. I know a lot of people who either married as virgins or married their first partner and they’re very happy. But I’ve also seen a lot of people feel pressure to get married early or get married so they could have sex and that can turn out disastrous. I just think it’s silly to create a lot of pressure to hook up or get married, that leads to people making bad decisions. And thinking you HAVE TO wait to get married doesn’t 100% guarantee a good marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 10:26 PM
1

I find very few strangers sexually attractive. It seems like you really don’t believe that can change with getting to know someone but it is the case for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 10:06 PM
1

it also creates a comparison problem I think the same can be said that if you only have one partner, you might always wonder “what if” or “what else is out there.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 09:50 PM
13

Nobody can disagree with her on her own preference. Some of us have a different preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 09:34 PM
29

Yes. I don’t understand people who want to “get some strange.” That does not resonate with me. I would vastly prefer one man.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 07:41 PM
2

if you want to just get laid you’ll find men lining up Yeah, and then get shamed for the behavior. I obviously can, physically. Men don’t like that so they police it with shame. It’s an artificial construct to even out that women have easier access to casual sex. just means you’re incompatible with men like me It would be nice to find one who isn’t. no one said you have to be the moral decider of society But it is like that, if you have to wait for someone worthy of conquering you. different men…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 01:57 AM
1

It’s men’s problem. Now I get at the end of the day it might just be a reality you have to take into account as a woman if you want to marry a man but it’s still men’s issue. I don’t fucking want to be the moral decider of society by who I want to have sex with. I don’t want to have sex if you did something good or not have sex if you did something bad. I don’t want men thinking they’ve changed me forever or I’m theirs forever because of sex. It adds so much anxiety to sex that doesn’t need to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 11:21 PM
2

Yeah that’s insecurity and not women’s problem. The conquest mentality makes me sick.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 11:11 PM
3

I mean I can understand that as a sexual fantasy like “I bet my ex thinks about me.” What you really mean is “I’ve ruined sex for her,” I don’t find that disgusting and if you want to think that, go ahead. If every man felt like that then they wouldn’t be worried about past experience or n count, they’d be ready to ruin sex for her. But “ruining her for another man” makes her just an object and implies she’s dirty/less valuable now when it’s really just about your own performance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 11:01 PM
3

Thinking a woman is ruined by your dick, fucking someone you think is below you, thinking about a different guy while fucking a woman you don’t like(weird), thinking you’re ruining a woman and a man’s spouse and just doing it anyway to get your dick wet. If you think your dick ruins people keep your dick to yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 10:48 PM
0

Oh I gotcha. Yeah I do understand if it’s the same woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 10:26 PM
5

What’s low?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 09:02 PM
2

lol I do see how you’ve got a point there. There is more that goes into it for me than just how “hot” he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 08:54 PM
1

I mean I suppose that’s true, they are just at odds with each other
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:51 PM
1

I don’t want to be the guy who’s punished for what other guys did I understand that but that’s different from not being as attractive as the other guys, that’s my whole point. But waiting to have sex means you have more opportunities to figure out if a guy is an asshole before having sex id rather be the guy she regrets having sex too soon Ok? Obviously? We’re taking about why a woman would wait, because she doesn’t want to regret it at all. Everyone wants to be the guy women would sleep with qu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:40 PM
1

I don’t think it’s subjective at all, everyone has intrinsic value.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:21 PM
1

So we agree the root is men’s psychology
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:17 PM
1

Not necessarily imo. But that’s from the “red pill philosophy” she didn’t wait to see if he had “good guy” qualities, that’s why she got treated badly. In reality people can wait for marriage even and the man is just as selfish because he feels like he deserves it for waiting. But if that’s a pattern the woman’s seen, why wouldn’t she try something different?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:12 PM
13

This is so common in religious communities. There is so much pressure to get married and get married early in life and sexual desires are already repressed. I was told sexual compatibility is a myth and any Christian man and any Christian woman could have a healthy marriage. Most of those couples stay married though because the pressure not to divorce is also huge. That’s also why there’s so many sermons about wives being “sexually available” for their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:04 PM
1

well I figured that, that’s why I said “guys used me for sex,” that implies bad sexual experiences where the person didn’t think of her pleasure
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:56 PM
1

That’s true I just let my “dating value” impact how I feel about my intrinsic value for far too long and it seems like a lot of folks here do that too
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:50 PM
1

is sex a kind of sacrifice women do for men? That’s a whole other can of worms but it’s just as valid the other way “I realized I was using men for sex and I don’t want to do that anymore, so now I’m waiting.”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:49 PM
–

The person goes to the dealership looking for a car. It’s not like you walk down the street and find yourself buying a car because of an amazing salesman. Obviously there’s some subjectivity on which car, you’re still gonna look for a car you want to drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:37 PM
1

Yeah that’s exactly the point I was making. I don’t think most women would find being valued “just for sex” very complimentary. That’s sort of a given. So that’s really the heart of the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:33 PM
-2

and she wasn’t interested Do you mean you weren’t interested? If it’s the same woman I think that’s fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:26 PM
–

I think mostly if you regretted something about that experience or there’s something about it that you don’t want at that point in your life. I don’t think that makes it morally wrong and it doesn’t have to be a horrible experience either. But like “I learned a lot of men just wanted me for sex so now I wait” doesn’t mean “you’re unattractive”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:23 PM
–

That’s in the man’s mind though. You’re assuming the man “convinced” her to have sex quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:14 PM
1

That’s very interesting and I never thought about that. Men are usually the “initiators” so that makes sense. I think it’s related though. Would men find “I just want him for sex” offensive or a compliment?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:06 PM
–

Yeah that’s fair and I think a situation where behavior with other men can factor in
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:53 PM
–

Well yeah that’s a good point. I think it’s always very individualized and a person-to-person basis and that’s why the red pill extremes don’t make sense to me either. I was just trying to counteract “if you fucked someone in two hours at 19 but you want to wait with me you can’t be attracted to me.” As a blanket rule I think it’s a bit silly. Yeah you might be right there. Women definitely like sex. That’s a bit of a tightrope for men. I wouldn’t be offended if they wanted to wait though, if th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:51 PM
2

That also makes sense. I’ll admit I don’t follow that space at all, maybe I’m getting a little tinfoil hat here but a lot of online/podcast content just seems fishy to me
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:35 PM
–

Again that’s fair but it’s gonna look exactly like someone who wants to pump and dump if you can’t read minds
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:32 PM
–

How quickly it happens
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:31 PM
2

That’s an interesting take, would be interesting for a bi person to chime in. There’s no way for me to know if that’s true. Do men not have a “best I’ve ever had”? If that’s the case then only good sex “ruins” a woman. Seems like you just think you’re surely the best a women will ever have so you’ve ruined her for other men, which good for you I guess, that’s again more about male-to-male psychology than women’s sexuality. I think at the heart of it women like being valued for something other th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:30 PM
–

I think that’s fair, that’s what the idea of waiting is vetting for
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:18 PM
1

Because proving the point helps fuel the manosphere ideas they are making a living off of. It actually makes perfect sense. If they had a loving virgin wife or whatever it would actually disprove their ideas
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:17 PM
–

I don’t agree with that behavior personally, but my original comment wasn’t that it NEVER means that, just that it doesn’t ALWAYS mean that. If you think about it the other way, most women would consider it a compliment if a man wanted to wait because he considers her a potential long term partner. I know this is just where red pill will say “well men and women are different” and that’s true and that’s where we can just debate forever about whether the difference is bad or if men “should” think …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 05:15 PM
3

Taking “I got treated badly when I did that so now I’m going to wait” as “you’re not hot enough for me” is weird. Also “you’re nasty for banging someone two hours after meeting them, why won’t you do that with me?” is weird. Obviously because you think it’s nasty?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:53 PM
–

No I can’t. I don’t know that woman. In general people don’t think you become exclusive after one tinder date but that situation would also bother me personally. Nicest reason I can come up with is you were trying to “be respectful” but she would have slept with both of you and not been mad if you also slept with someone else between dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:39 PM
-2

Yeah I don’t understand the logic of being so bitter you didn’t get laid in your 20’s that you’re not going to get married and spend the rest of your life mad about it
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:31 PM
6

Does it not seem a little too on the nose to anyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:24 PM
2

It depends how you mean it. I read it as if it’s socially acceptable/there’s shame attached to it, it’s socially acceptable for men to experiment and it’s not for women. You proved that point with your original comment, that you “ruin” a woman by fucking her but you aren’t ruining yourself for the woman you will end up with. In terms of access to it happening, yes women have more opportunities for casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:22 PM
5

Yeah I generally don’t agree with red pill ideology in general but this is just another way of saying people want to have fun when they’re young and settle down when they’re a bit older. That’s very normal for both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:09 PM
3

What you said has nothing to do with female sexuality and is more about male psychology. And the opposite is true of your second sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 04:03 PM
–

How quickly sex is on the table isn’t necessarily related to how attracted women are to the man.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 03:49 PM
5

Everything about this is absolutely disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 03:32 PM
1

That’s very odd to me. It’s generally the opposite for women. The quickness isn’t necessarily related to how attracted I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 03:28 PM
2

What’s the difference between pleasing and liking? No it didn’t clear it up. There’s just something about the way men think about sex that’s revealed in how much they care about your sexual behavior before you met them that’s nasty to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 11:47 PM
2

In my experience there’s a lot they don’t care about prior to sleeping with you, then it becomes a different story
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 06:14 PM
1

How do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 05:23 PM
1

What’s getting shortchanged about a woman having sex with you long term instead of one night?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 04:54 PM
1

I can understand some circumstances but not others. I don’t get this as a general principle.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 04:12 PM
2

Do men who shame women about n count and also for staying in bad relationships realize how the first one contributes to the second?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 04:06 PM
3

I don’t get it at all and it honestly makes me queasy. Not because I think I’m dirty for having sex but because they think that and want to do it to me. I grew up in really intense purity culture so that also contributes but I thought I’d be rid of that thinking after leaving religious circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 04:01 PM
4

I guess that’s what I mean I don’t understand red pill men who seem to think sex is really degrading to women but it’s fine if you are married or with a “non-Chad” man? Why would anyone want to have sex with you under any circumstances when you’ve revealed you think it makes them nasty? And why do you want to degrade someone you love?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:53 PM
5

Yup that’s rude
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:48 PM
–

If he uses the language low n count it indicates he’s in misogynistic online spaces. If he said “I only want to date women who reserve sex for long term relationships” that is fine. It also makes a huge difference if it’s because he did that too, or if he’s being hypocritical and/or wanted to sleep around and was unsuccessful. I don’t have a problem with someone’s moral stance on sex and wanting a partner compatible with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:47 PM
–

This is such a good point. If you spent your 20’s trying to get laid you aren’t compatible at all with someone who intentionally waited for marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:40 PM
2

I don’t but it still bothers me which is stupid
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:35 PM
5

Do you have an example?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:34 PM
3

Seems like it’s most men but they try not to admit to it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:30 PM
2

To some degree I guess but ultimately you can’t please everybody and need to be confident in your own choices even if some people don’t agree
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:27 PM
2

There’s always an incentive to lie for sex. I also don’t announce what would make me want to have sex or not to men. But I get what you are saying and I don’t know why it matters to me what other people think.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:23 PM
3

I don’t understand at all haha but at least I’m clear on the stance
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:30 PM
7

Men thinking sex is degrading for women if it’s short term makes me feel gross about having sex with them long term too
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:29 PM
3

Isn’t that the same as the “settling” that always gets complained about? It’s okay to settle as long as she didn’t have sex with a Chad beforehand?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:28 PM
1

I meant that it’s less pleasing but it doesn’t really make sense. Maybe it’s possession then? Something about the train of thought makes me feel queasy inside
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:06 AM
–

The dead internet theory scares me but not as much as these all being real people’s real opinions
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 01:46 AM
–

We definitely didn’t do that although it was very weird
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 01:22 AM
–

I went to Christian college and did this all the time. We had a lot of fun just dancing
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 01:21 AM
1

Why did you make up this scenario? The original quote isn’t talking to someone they are dating, they are saying sex without intimacy is mediocre. I think most people would not want to date someone who calls them mediocre
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:55 PM
2

Well you do you I guess. Communication during sex is healthy and normal, I wouldn’t walk out because a position isn’t working for me and I’d hope my partner feels comfortable communicating the same
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:14 PM
–

No it’s definitely not. But it is your responsibility to listen to the person you are having sex with
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:00 PM
2

If men just said “oh I’m insecure about that so I don’t want to date you” that’s one thing, it’s another to be insecure and make someone else feel nasty and say they are morally wrong/gross/whatever
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:54 PM
–

In a comp yeah. Training with a new partner? That’s a dick move
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:47 PM
1

If she had said she did hookups in the past but it was a bad experience and wanted to wait, would that be okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:24 PM
1

It doesn’t
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:20 PM
1

The uncontrollable lust thing has never happened to me just seeing a man (unless he’s someone I’ve already been with).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:20 PM
5

This is something I’d expect if I’m doing any physical activity with someone, like jiu jitsu or getting a massage. Sex is a two person activity, not one person getting off.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:02 PM
7

I don’t agree with this at all. If you’re having sex with someone they should be able to express if they are nervous and definitely if they are uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 02:36 PM
3

No of course men feel anxious. What you said makes perfect sense but it didn’t seem to be what OP was saying. an awesome male partner who is oh so patient with them, and guides them it obviously happens less the other way around The other way around is men wanting to take it slow and finally finding a woman who isn’t sexually aggressive and is willing to take it slow. Is women being sexually aggressive towards inexperienced men a common problem? Most men here say women are turned off by inexperi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:55 PM
5

No, I don’t disagree with everything you said. I think there’s a lot of pressure on men to be a certain type of way and be in charge and knowledgeable. There’s sort of a “the buck stops here” pressure on men and women are more able to get help physically and emotionally. Edit: I think women in general do understand this but don’t think they enforce it and think it’s enforced by other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:42 PM
1

No, I was just speaking on my personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 11:27 AM
11

I don’t get what that would look like. What actions or words are you wanting? More initiating from women? No one is demanding anything, I’m asking follow-up questions on your debate post trying to understand your perspective better.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:00 AM
–

You avoid having real life relationships by making up imaginary conversations on reddit?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:33 PM
–

So it boils down to competition with other men? You wouldn’t be higher value if the men thought the sex was bad, that’s also embarrassing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:20 PM
1

Oh, yes, I agree. I think that’s a realistic standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:22 PM
1

I can’t get past the thought that men think getting penetrated is inherently humiliating but it’s something they want to do to the person they love
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:18 PM
–

American women love English accents
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:14 PM
10

Another thing I wanna bring up is the stories of very sexually inhibited women (perhaps traumatized) finding an awesome male partner who is oh so patient with them This is meant as a genuine question, not a point of debate necessarily. Is there a male equivalent of this? Do you mean virgin men who have felt shamed by society for not having sex? And wish more women would be okay with taking the time for them to learn skills in the bedroom? For women that’s a lot of shame of feeling like sex makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:12 PM
–

Oh, is it unrelated to the comment you replied to?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 04:13 PM
–

Why would this make her ugly? What is your train of thought here?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 03:56 PM
–

I think that’s because of the stereotype that a virgin is gonna be extremely clingy and seemingly makes the relationship automatically very serious
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 03:54 PM
–

Why would this make her a pervert???
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 03:52 PM
–

Looking back I don’t feel like I missed out but I do feel like I wasted time feeling like I was missing out. I wish I hadn’t felt as much impact to my self-esteem and just pursued career or other goals instead of feeling like I had to have a partner for my life to start. It also impacted my self esteem where I accepted worse treatment that I think other people learned not to do much earlier in life. I also feel like the later it was the weirder and weirder it would seem and would ruin my chances…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 02:45 PM
2

IMO a huge height difference looks very awkward and strange. I don’t get the 6ft+ thing and it’s only something I see online
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 12:08 PM
1

Then don’t stay in that relationship. That’s a very weird comparison to how many men act toward strangers in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 12:01 PM
2

I mean it’s certainly part of the reason. My comment applied more to abusive relationships than a situationship, which is gonna be more about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:08 PM
2

I agree. I understand there are women who say that, I’m just saying in my personal experience in my social circle I don’t hear women explicitly saying they want a 6ft+ man but I will definitely admit most women want a man taller than they are. A lot of my friends are tall women so that would annoy us too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:27 PM
5

I don’t know but I specifically said I DONT hear women saying that, just taller than them
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:02 PM
1

A lot of times it’s not because he’s hot or because of sex, it’s because the apology and love bombing that happens after he does something bad is a dopamine rush. The bad behaviors lead to grand romantic gestures and that’s what is appealing about the relationship. These men are generally really good about knowing when to slip in nice behavior so you don’t leave. If you’ve ever seen Barry this scene is really powerful. Not that this is necessarily any better or smarter and I do think it’s based …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 07:58 PM
2

I disagree with that statement as well but I do think it’s nearly universal that all women have experienced some sort of inappropriate behavior from men like being groped, being filmed, receiving unwanted dick pics, etc. That was the point of MeToo but somehow it did absolutely nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 07:54 PM
5

That’s what I was going to say. I remember I had a friend every time she dated someone new she’d be like “he checks all my boxes!” I was like what is this list- he’s a man? The only one I will say I do hear a lot of woman want a man taller than them but not necessarily 6ft+
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 07:50 PM
4

One time we were complaining about being told to smile more, being told sexually inappropriate things, etc. and the guys we were with were like “you guys need to stop hanging around douchebags!” The women were like …this happened at the grocery store.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 05:56 PM
–

Ok I kinda get what you are saying. But I think men would ideally want like a Margot Robbie type who is faithful over a decently attractive woman who could cheat but doesn’t. Men also get a lot of social status from the woman they’re attached to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 04:48 AM
–

Is this not what men want? A hot woman who is faithful? Seems pretty standard
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:25 AM
–

And my dad (a man in his 70’s) is by far the most nervous about me doing things alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:13 AM
–

It’s definitely not an online only thing. My grandmother told me not to go out alone or go out drinking. Take Back The Night rallies were in the 70’s. It might even be more common in the older generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:12 AM
–

My point is that women don’t think their emotions are a lie detector. We don’t inherently trust that our feelings are valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 02:47 AM
–

That’s what I meant too. That’s one reason why gossip is more common among women, we so often have conversations about “am I crazy for being mad about this?” Or “is this bitchy of me?”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 02:21 AM
–

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 02:16 AM
–

women don’t like questioning their own feelings I think it’s the opposite and that’s what makes us vulnerable to manipulation
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 01:33 AM
–

And even the section of women who go traveling/backpacking in dangerous parts of the world. And yet they're so terrified of men beating them down that they've got to stay cooped up in their apartment Clearly these aren’t the same people. I go traveling and backpacking because I enjoy those experiences but I do hate feeling like there’s increased risk. Maybe we don’t want to let fear stop us from doing things. I don’t want the fear of rape to control my life. It’s also not just something women te…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 12:58 AM
0

So you’d take that as a sign she doesn’t like PIV sex and be turned off?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 09:54 PM
1

I mean yeah they can but that doesn’t mean sexual attraction isn’t a real thing. It’s like eating something you’re excited to eat vs eating something because it’s lunchtime. I don’t think you’re wrong either, I think it’s just people don’t marry for convenience because that’s not what they want out of marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 07:46 PM
2

Having sex with someone knowing you don’t want them to be a potential partner is what being a fuck boy is. What you’re saying is “if that man really wanted to be with you, he would” which is the same as “he doesn’t want to be with you, he just wants sex”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 07:39 PM
2

For who?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 07:08 PM
1

That’s a good question. I guess the sexual component? I feel like there’s also a kind of draw/compulsion that I want to be around someone I’m in love with that I don’t feel with friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:55 PM
2

Because you can get non-romantic love elsewhere but only romantic love from a romantic partner. But I’m with you there, I think society puts too much emphasis on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:26 PM
2

Both. I think this is why they say “marry your best friend.” I guess it just depends what you mean by marriage of convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:21 PM
2

They want it to be stable but the key to that is just not leaving. You could stay married and agree to open the relationship, get separate bedrooms, not share finances, fight constantly, put up with abuse, etc. If you most want emotional support from a spouse then it doesn’t make sense to marry based on logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:12 PM
2

Doesn’t this just depend on what you want out of marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:07 PM
2

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:27 PM
2

I don’t really agree with that but even given that premise, your assertion was that if she was good enough he would want to commit. What do you mean- the sex isn’t good enough for him to commit or she’s proven she’s not “up to snuff” by sleeping with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 04:49 PM
4

You don’t think there’s men who just want casual sex without commitment?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 04:25 PM
2

Theoretically, would a woman with high n count who only received oral be as “low value” to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:25 PM
1

It goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:15 PM
1

Sure if that’s how you think about dating
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 05:44 PM
1

Pardon?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 03:44 PM
1

How do you define value? Everyone has intrinsic value that isn’t attached to dating/attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 02:03 PM
1

I think it has some bearing on how good of a match/partner they are. I don’t think it has any bearing on their intrinsic value/worth and using the language of value incorrectly conflates the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 02:00 PM
3

You have intrinsic value.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 01:57 PM
2

After a lot of therapy and other things I finally realize I have intrinsic value.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 01:57 PM
1

They do. They also tell women they have to marry within their community but they are notoriously skewed female so it’s not possible to be heterosexual and marry within the community. Then tell them they are worthless if they aren’t married by 22-25 and they’re worthless after sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 01:09 PM
2

You can reread what I said and try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:15 AM
0

What’s the white lie?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:34 PM
2

That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying being chronically online makes you less appealing as a partner. I’m sure she doesn’t care about that and I don’t know why you are talking about it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:23 PM
1

That’s backwards though? We don’t want to add more shame, we want to have less.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:17 PM
1

I would probably get him into therapy and make sure he doesn’t attach all his value to that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:13 PM
2

No? I don’t think Sydney Sweeney is online worrying about red pill/blue pill terminology or thinking she is “high value.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:12 PM
2

Tbh I don’t think anyone “high value” would even know this terminology at all
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:09 PM
1

There’s lots of reasons to not get married at 22 besides wanting to sleep around first. What about religious communities, which are really skewed towards having more women than men?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 09:30 PM
3

This is one of those things that is just much easier to say once you’ve had sex. I also think “virgin” should be retired. There is no fundamental shift about a person/their life after sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 04:19 PM
9

Whether or not someone has sex, or how much, has no bearing on their value. It might make them more or less compatible as a partner with another person. The term “value” should be retired.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 03:43 PM
1

We can’t have a conversation at all because you can’t get past the assumption that every woman wants to sleep around in their 20’s and “con” a man into marrying them in their 30’s. That’s so far from where I’m starting from but it doesn’t matter because you can’t grasp that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 03:41 PM
1

The behavior stemmed from the ideology you’re espousing, that’s why I’m fighting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 01:57 PM
1

What happens after 24? You keep making assumptions instead of just responding to what I said. You’re assuming I’m trying to justify something when I just think attaching someone’s value to whether or not their in a relationship, whether or not they’ve had sex, and/or how many sexual partners they’ve had is unhealthy and wrong. It makes sense why you might want a partner who takes sex seriously but I find talking about a number and putting so much stock in that very odd, because it does create we…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 01:46 PM
–

What is a high N count?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 02:05 AM
1

But which would you prefer? I’m well aware it’s different, that’s why I’m asking. So for you is the line anything outside long term relationships? Why bring numbers into it at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 12:24 AM
1

Is lower bad??? Also, nasty
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 09:29 PM
0

I really didn’t mean it to be loaded, I actually wanted to know. I don’t mean if she has 25 exes on rotation or something, I mean she has like 3 exes and continues to hook up with the most recent vs having a casual fling. I would rather date a man who had a fwb post breakup than one who continued to hook up with his ex. I think it’s odd to jump from “adding one new sex partner” to “adding a new sex partner EVERY DAY.” That’s some bizarre slippery slope logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 09:21 PM
1

I don’t think that’s true
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 09:09 PM
1

Also how do you define value
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 08:34 PM
0

What on earth are you talking about! That was a huge leap and you never answered the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 07:34 PM
0

Because by that logic it doesn’t decrease someone’s value if they sleep with a previous partner but it does if they have a new partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 07:14 PM
3

I don’t even think it’s just this. I’ve had exes shame me for having sex WITH THEM
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:42 PM
0

Is it better for someone to sleep with an ex or with someone new?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:37 PM
4

This is exactly what I was going to say, I was seen as mature in middle/high school because I was shy, insecure, and obedient, and these exact same qualities were immaturity once I entered the workplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 06:24 PM
–

I don’t think that’s always true, you are picturing like a Leo-type. I was picturing like a 30 something restaurant manager who goes after 19 year old servers because they are young enough to think being the restaurant manager is impressive
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 05:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter