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Capital-Telephone-54 Archive

View 2 posts and 26 comments by Capital-Telephone-54 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
50

Capital-Telephone-54/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 09:44 PM
17

Dealing with the Ex / STBXCapital-Telephone-54/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 11:43 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Sounds like you are doing much better now. How long did it take for you? I recognize I'm in the midst of all this but the pain is unreal. I know that understanding her reasons doesn't matter, but not knowing is hard too. I'm doing all I can to not say any of those things to her and putting them here does relieve the tension a bit. Since she has moved out, the house 'echos' both in the real sense of the word (because her stuff is gone so sound bounces more) and also in the sense that my house sti…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/26 09:38 PM
2

There was no asking for help, there was no communication of what I could/could not do differently. If she had asked, I certainly would have been open to address it. When she brough it up I suggested couples and individual counseling, I asked what it was that I did/didn't do for her to reach that conclusion and she was unable (or unwilling) to give me anything. She said it was nothing I did and nothing I can change; she said we just grew apart and she could not find her way back to me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/26 04:04 PM
2

I've seen a lot of posts on this here site and this has got to be the top one. The part that really resonates with me (and I'm using my situation) is: would I want to date a woman who left a man she was married to for 25 years, who loved her, provided for her and her children, would give anything for her because she "slowly drifted away" and didn't even attempt to address the problem? Nope. No, I would not.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/26 12:10 AM
2

Thank you so much for saying this, brother. I needed to hear it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/26 11:47 PM
1

Yes! I think this is accurate. I know my STBXW already grieved our relationship and there is no chance she'll come back. I try really hard not to pursue but a comment here and there, a tear here and there sneaks through. Afterwords, I feel a bit pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 10:44 PM
3

This. I think for a lot of men (and for me) it is this. I have (working to be "had") nice guy syndrome and once I "got" her I went hard into please her mode. And to make matters works, I knocked her up early into the relationship (within first 3 months). 2 kids and 25 years later, kids recently moved out and perimenopause hit, and she's gone. No explanation, no ability for me to fix, she's just... gone. For her, it was probably many years but for me, I'm still in shock. Will be official in 31-45…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 10:32 PM
3

I feel for you. My situation is fairly common - 25 years, I didn't want it, knew there were problems but never thought they were unsolvable or divorce-worthy and certainly not "let's divorce and I don't even want to try to fix it". She also never told me what exactly it was that I did (or didn't do). I've gone through period of utter sadness and ugly crying, to getting angry and yelling in my now (as of today) empty house "F*** you b***!!" to confidence that I'm going to work on myself and be a …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 10:10 PM
4

That seems to be the theme. In my case, my wife hit perimenopause, then both kids moved out, then its "I want to be alone" and then its "I want a divorce".
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:29 PM
4

This is sad. But also true, I think.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:27 PM
2

25 years and I'm an absolute mess. There were problems, but no marriage is perfect and I love her, was committed to her and accepted her for her. Then on Easter Sunday after I bring back some food (our kids have moved out), she tells me "I want to be alone". Here we are on 8/19 and she's signed the paperwork to put the petition to the courts to dissolve the marriage. I'm still in shock. I'm encouraged even after 35 years of marriage you have moved on and seem happy your life is yours now. I look…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 03:23 PM
2

I didn't want to start another thread but today is a tough day. We are going through this very amicably and fairly (thank goodness) and went to a mediator to codify what we had already agreed to regarding the married assets. Yesterday the lawyer sent over the paperwork to be signed - for her, the petitioner's documentation and for me, the waiver of service (so I don't have go to through "you've been served" scenario). She printed them out and has already signed them and left them on the counter …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/26 02:56 PM
3

I'm new to this too (initial papers came in today, but we've been talking for months). For me it was similar in that she had been considering divorce for months (years, maybe) and so this was not a shock to her but a shock to me. I don't have any particular sage advice at this point. I can tell you've I've had some good days when I remind myself that there is also opportunity here -- opportunity to work on myself; opportunity to understand what I want, and and opportunity to improve who I am... …
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/26 03:01 PM
2

Thanks for sharing. This is meaningful as I see the "weight being lifted" in my wife now that she told me she wants to divorce and has started moving her things out. She seems happier and that hurts. I am working on focusing on myself mentally and physically but some days are easier than others.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:56 PM
3

Dating apps seem like a miserable place to be.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 04:43 PM
1

Thank you! I did inadvertently come across some of her videos and with this recommendation I'll seek out more of her content.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 01:49 PM
2

Love this. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 01:47 PM
1

Thanks for this. The first time she brough this up (before her final decision) I got a therapist and decided to work on myself. He's been helpful and have given me some tools. And, one of the things he told me early on was to eat right, sleep right, and be physically active. I've already been physically active but admittedly, I find it hard some days. Today I decided that I'm going to do some physical activity every single day for at least the rest of the year and beyond. I'm going to get in the…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 12:54 PM
1

Ugh. That will sting for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 12:50 PM
1

She only worked part-time and between that, being home, raising the kids and taking care of her mom, there wasn't much time for a physical affair but I could see a situation where she has rekindled a previous love via Facebook. Then again, she's made no plans (she's moving in with her mom), she's still talks to me about her mom and family (which I need to tell her to stop doing) so it doesn't feel like she has someone to run to. I might be wrong, but either way it doesn't matter now. Also - I wa…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 12:50 PM
2

Thank you for this. I appreciate it. I know I'm in the early stages and there is light at the end of the tunnel but from here, that light sure is dim (but its there).
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 12:43 PM
1

Ah, yes. I meant too but forgot! :) We had a bit of a whirlwind romance and had an unplanned pregnancy. While we lasted 25 years and had many good times, and our children turned out to be amazing human beings, I wonder if we hadn't gotten pregnant, perhaps we wouldn't have stayed together. Some of the red flags I realized after we were married and because I was so in love I played them down or ignored them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 12:41 PM
3

Sorry, I probably wasn't clear. She is the one moving out and I am the one keeping the house. So there's that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/26 12:39 PM
4

Thanks. It is hard not to romanticize reality, but you are right - I am doing that. I need to accept it for what it is, and start moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 11:53 PM
2

Good advice. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 11:52 PM
2

Perhaps she does. She says she just wants to be alone and I default to believing her but I also believed she wouldn't divorce me so.... In the end your first line is correct and regardless of the reason, she's mine no longer.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 11:52 PM
2

55 here. In process of divorce. Scared I'll be alone the rest of my life. Your story gives me hope. Thanks for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 10:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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