| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | STBXW is on deed but not on mortgage. Can I simply buy her out without refinancing? | Hot-Jump-1548 | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/23 04:52 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | I Hate that She Put me Here: Dating in 2026 is HorrendousThose don't have a history of ending well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/26 12:04 AM |
| 1 | If the wife initiates the divorce, why should we tell the kids it was mutual?I don't know how old your son is, but there's plenty of time for him to learn the ways of the world. You telling him his mom broke the family up is not going to help him survive the divorce or help his immediate mental health. You can red pill him later if you want to do that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/26 01:15 AM |
| 1 | If the wife initiates the divorce, why should we tell the kids it was mutual?Do they? Do they if it's going to damage their relationship with their mother? Divorce will be tough on them. It will be much harder if you create animosity between the kids and the mom. Swallow your pride or ego and put that behind you. Think about this, too. I bet the mom, who may have initiated the divorce, still blames the dad for the marriage failing. Would you be happy with her telling your kids all the ways you were a less than ideal husband? Probably not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 07:17 PM |
| 5 | Business owner; wife feels entitled to percentage in divorceIt doesn't even require that he use marital funds to start the business. (A personal credit card would be community funds anyway.) She likely is entitled to half his share. I'm surprised OP lawyer(s)' haven't said as much, unless they see dollar signs over the upcoming litigation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 12:05 AM |
| 3 | Why can CS/Alimony be modified when we increase our pay if the divorce was finalized based off our current combined income?You are conflating alimony and child support. They are different. Surely you know this. An increase in child support is so your children benefit from your increase in income. An increase in alimony is something you made up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 11:58 PM |
| 3 | What’s it like out thereI always answer these questions because I had the same worries. I had heard no one wanted the "tainted" single dad. I'm happy to report that wasn't the case. Granted, outside of the divorce, my life was pretty together. A good career, in shape, decent looking for my age, etc. I studied how to create a good app profile and invested in good photos. I did well on the apps - and by doing well I mean I set my age filter to the appropriate age range (I didn't chase women 20 years younger) and probably… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/25 01:26 PM |
| 2 | Stay-at-Home Wife and Death Scroll: How Idle Hands Kills MarriagesThat's James Sexton, divorce attorney. I don't know who Scott Byer is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/25 09:26 PM |
| 2 | The bigger the ring, the bigger the fallI first watched this guy on White Underbelly, which may be where he "broke out." He gives a good interview but relies on an appeal to authority for all of his arguments. Does being a divorce attorney (to the rich, it seems) make him an expert in staying married? I'm not convinced. It certainly gives him a certain perspective but he's only getting half the story from his client. My lawyer didn't care about events leading up to the divorce. And I wasn't going to pay him to listen to what went wron… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/25 09:22 PM |
| 2 | any men regret their vasectomy?Sick reference, bro. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 03:23 AM |
| 1 | Today’s reality checkGotcha now. Yeah, that's petty on her part. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 12:01 AM |
| 2 | Today’s reality checkI ski. My ex doesn't. I love skiing with my boys. I buy the passes and equipment. (Hotels are what really make it expensive for us.) I never asked the ex to contribute to their skiing expenses. Why should I? That is my time with the kids. Just like she didn't ask me to pay for the scuba courses she has done with them or the Hawaiian vacation she took them own. We split the cost of Little League. Just a note - your buddies are going to validate your feelings 99% of the time. They likely don't und… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/25 03:51 PM |
| 9 | I feel like I'm never going to have better sex than I did with my STBXW and I'm really down about itI can't relate. By the time we split, I wanted nothing to do with my objectively very pretty ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 01:19 PM |
| 2 | DivorcingThere shouldn't even be another woman in his life that he has to prove was in another state. Don't maintain contact with ex's or people you hooked up with. You don't need female friends from work. It causes insecurity in your partner and leads to temptation to the guy. "Honey, I didn't cheat on you with her (on the dates you think.). She was out of state (that day, but not the previous days that caused you to be suspicious in the first place.)" I can almost guarantee that OP did something suspic… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 11:19 AM |
| 2 | Can I be a dick with her lawyer ?Pride...and ego. Everyone (including his lawyer) is telling him not to do this, but he wants to argue with us about why he is right. He thinks he is smarter than all of us. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/24 02:22 PM |
| 1 | How does 50-50 work?Dude doesn't have 50/50 and doesn't want 50/50. He would have to cut back on his golf game if he was an equal parent. Other fathers here are fighting and paying huge sums in court o get 50/50 and this guy doesn't want it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/24 03:22 AM |
| 0 | How does 50-50 work?You don't even know what gaslight ing means. Hint: Just because you don't want to hear the truth doesn't mean it is gaslighting. This guy only cares about getting in four rounds of golf a week while paying as little.child support as possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 03:14 AM |
| 0 | How does 50-50 work?You are right. Put yourself and your happiness first. Don't worry about your kids. With any luck, they will have a stepdad to raise them right. He probably won't even play golf. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/24 04:20 AM |
| 0 | How does 50-50 work?Golf less. Be with your kids more. CS has nothing to do with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/24 12:06 AM |
| 0 | How does 50-50 work?Guy who golfs 4 times a week making excuses about why he's too busy to have 50/50 custody? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/24 05:53 AM |
| 2 | Wife cyber stalking some out of state dude...He's checking her search history or saw she paid one of the "background check" sites for the address. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/24 05:33 AM |
| 1 | What percentage of your net income do you pay for child support?Did you see OP's monthly salary? He likely far out earns the STBXW. I'm guessing you don't greatly out earn yours. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/24 05:29 AM |
| 3 | Getting Divorced and seeing son only 4 months a year: bad choice?For starters - I would never let my ex take my child overseas. International Parental Child Abductions are a nightmare. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 03:42 AM |
| 1 | Man did I ever screw upjust fyi - Those are California codes and don't apply to other states. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/24 03:38 AM |
| 1 | Man did I ever screw upCheck out OP's post history. He takes TRT, LSD, Kratom, DMT, and tried to buy hydrocodone in Bali and is looking for Ketamine. And he got a new motorcycle. (Not to mention the involuntary psych hold.) You are right. He's spiraling. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/24 03:37 AM |
| 3 | Man did I ever screw upIt's related to OP's post history. He's takes TRT, LSD, Kratom, DMT, and tried to buy hydrocodone in Bali and is looking for Ketamine. And he got a new motorcycle. (Not to mention the involuntary psych hold.) He's not living right. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/24 03:27 AM |
| 10 | If I agree to terrible alimony can I get it changed later or ignore her completely ?If you make 30k a month you can afford a better lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/24 05:04 AM |
| 2 | You should be grateful your child sees another man as a dad/father-figureIt doesn't work that way. Sexual predators don't always, or perhaps even rarely, use force or violence on children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/24 05:13 AM |
| 0 | Struggles rebuilding & datingWtf? You are so ashamed of your son that you are going to maintain two residences just so potential FWBs never find out about him? And he's going to live in the ghetto while you live in a swankier area when he's not with you? You would be better off focusing on being a better man instead of living two lives. Improve yourself and you wont have to create a facade to date women. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/24 04:45 AM |
| 1 | I regret not making my marriage work and now my ex husband is happily remarriedVast majority doesn't mean what you think it means. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/24 07:34 AM |
| 1 | I regret not making my marriage work and now my ex husband is happily remarriedThe MILF fantasy is about sex- Not being in a long term relationship with divorced moms with kids. You would be more interesting to debate if you weren't so obtuse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/24 10:49 AM |
| 1 | Any Advice for Someone on the Brink?This is true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/24 05:28 PM |
| 1 | I regret not making my marriage work and now my ex husband is happily remarriedYes, because one example definitely makes it a given. s/ I really don't know what you are on about. Do women sometimes date and marry younger men? Yes. Is it harder for women than men to date younger? Also, yes. Read my post. I said her chances are lower and she cant do it as easily. I never said it was impossible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/24 06:54 PM |
| 1 | I regret not making my marriage work and now my ex husband is happily remarriedI'm sure she can find a man 10 years younger to "date." But will he want to settle down into a LTR with a 47 y/o woman with two elementary age children and a demanding job and all the other baggage she carries? Will she beat the odds, or will she be ghosted after a month? I'm 50. If I date someone ten years younger, its not because 40 y/o women are more easily manipulated. That's laughable. Its because they are younger and I aged gracefully and I can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/23 03:49 PM |
| 11 | How do I not be the creepy old guy?Hanging out at a playground by yourself is creepy. Lingering near the fitting rooms at Victoria's Secret is creepy. Going to the movies or bowling alone isn't creepy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 04:19 AM |
| 1 | Ex now interested in religion wat do?Same. I quit reading. He also says he has the children every single night, and in the next sentence says she has them two and a half (?) nights during the week and Saturdays. That's sounds like 50/50. If this guy is a public defender, then I feel sorry for anyone unlucky enough to be represented by him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/23 05:10 PM |
| 8 | Am I getting screwed ?Reddit rule is American unless stated otherwise. Don't like it? Does your flag fly on the moon? No? Then get over it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/23 01:37 AM |
| 3 | Advice on dating younger womenIs that the book by the same author as No More Mr Nice Guy? | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 07:04 AM |
| 8 | How effed am I?Why are you willing to let her have sole custody of the kids? They need a father (possibly more than they need a mother.) Why? I don't understand dads that don't fight to see their kids as much as possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 03:56 AM |
| 4 | I’m not crazy, right?Yes. Lots of guys here messed around a week after separating. And some desperate menwith nothing going for them will move for a new girlfriend, especially if she's love bombing him. Hard to say. I know this is easier said than done but it doesn't matter when she met him. Time to move on from worrying about that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/10/23 03:51 AM |
| 3 | My STBX entering my room and office on cameraSmall.potatoes. I wouldn't expect any privacy while in the guest house so live as if you expect her to snoop. IANAL but hidden (emphasis) cameras she doesn't know about could be problematic if its not established that she doesn't have access to the guest house. Maybe. Possibly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/23 12:45 PM |
| 8 | Marriage headed for divorce - Immigrant Wife - Mental Issueshttps://www.cbp.gov/travel/international-child-abduction-prevention-and-return-act#:~:text=INTERNATIONAL%20PARENTAL%20CHILD%20ABDUCTION%20%28IPCA%29%201%20Obtain%20a,%28U.S.%20or%20Canada%29%20or%20%2B1-202-501-4444%20%28International%29%20Email%3A%20PreventAbduction1%40state.gov https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/prevention-tips.html https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/prevention-f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/23 04:03 AM |
| 12 | Anyone have a prenup that was thrown out?It's 2023. More women are graduating from universities than men. Why have so many of us married SAHMs or women with no career prospects? My marriage failed just like everyone else that's here marriage failed. I am thankful that at least she earned an equal salary so I'm not taking a huge financial hit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/23 08:05 PM |
| 2 | Why are we telling men to wait a year before dating?Did you read the sticky? It's talked about there. I'm sure you are different and won't fall for the wrong person during the rebound. I'm sure you are different and although you don't give yourself time to learn to be happy on your own, you'll still choose a wonderful woman this next go round. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 04:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating a divorcee: A loser's winning storyI know I'm ten years late, but i just discovered Le Labo Santal 33 and like it a lot. I've only recently started wearing cologne. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/23 04:14 AM |
| 1 | Dating a divorcee: A loser's winning storyAlright - which cologne? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/23 04:17 AM |
| 6 | Dating a divorcee: A loser's winning storyYes. When you become a father it is no longer just about you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/23 04:16 AM |
| 1 | It does get betterI was always 100% transparent about my situation etc. I was going to ask, as a lot of women on DatingOverForty swear they will never date a man that's separated. (Some will.also put other conditions like divorced a full year, not the first relationship post divorce, etc. They take it too far.) Sounds like you still had plenty of interest. I guess it wasn't a deal killer for some. Which app, if you don't mind me asking? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/23 04:06 AM |
| 1 | Should I ruin my life for the sake of my children?How did it happen that they live so far away? Did you move or did the ex-wife move them? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/23 06:53 PM |
| 2 | WardrobeThis guy isn't bad. https://m.youtube.com/@40OverFashion Good advice here https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5XVp84OIeds&pp=ygUPTWFsZSBmYXNoaW9uIDQw The idea that you should dress a little classier if you are older is on point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/23 04:48 AM |
| 1 | Need a new hobby or sport.Healthy, social (even co-ed), cheap. And it looks like fun. Clear top choice. I'm going to try it. I've had a compound bow but never had time to shoot as I did everything for and with the kids. Now that its 50/50 custody and I have a little time to myself, I usually spend a few hours once a week at the range. I even shot a low key tournament. (Very low key). You could get into it for $500, or you could spend a couple thousand. Traditional archery would be cheaper but I know little about it. I ta… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/23 04:15 AM |
| 1 | Need a new hobby or sport.I've been to yoga and it wasn't awkward. But if you go to the "Datingover40" sub reddit I'm sure you'll hear someone say it's creepy. But these are the same women that complain they are single and wonder why no one approaches them to ask for a date. As Mark Manson says in "Models," there is always one person that will find any approach creepy. Disregard that person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/23 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Need a new hobby or sport.I play a bit but certainly not averaging $40-50. What's the training site? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/23 04:02 AM |
| 1 | How to get paternity test on a kid that is 19no. It's not going to be anywhere close to 30%. It's 30% among people suspicious enough to test (if that stat is accurate. I have no idea.) Most people have no or little doubts, don't test, and if they did would find the number to be much lower. Imagine the people who go to the dermatologist to have a suspicious mole checked out. 30% of the time its cancer. That doesn't mean 30% of the population is walking around with skin cancer. They have moles but not the weird ones that need to be checked o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/23 04:09 AM |
| 4 | How to get paternity test on a kid that is 19That number, of course, is skewed because someone was suspicious enough to test. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/23 04:22 AM |
| 3 | STBXW getting serious with some dudeThe point, I think, is someone already filed for divorce. He's dating too. She's just dating harder. It get that it's hard. I don't know how it's going to hit me when I learn my STBXW is dating someone, but I am attempting to mentally prepare and striving to be indifferent. I see her for kids drop off and have no emotion towards her. No hate. No affection. I'm kind of surprised, to be honest. We no longer live together but are still tied to each other due to kids. I can't imagine living in the s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/23 03:49 AM |
| 10 | Ex-wife is aging decades I'm the blink of an eye, feels like karmaYou refused to look at her, and then took glee in her aged appearance. She may not be aging gracefully, but she's still in your head. Rather than rejoice her apparent fading looks (you believe everything your lawyer tells you?), you'll be happier in the long run if you can become indifferent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/23 11:20 PM |
| 1 | A moment of reflections!My last question, why r/Divorced_men is more active than r/Divorce_Women ? r/Divorce is essentially the "divorce women" subreddit. R/divorce_women is the extremely toxic version of r/divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/23 04:58 AM |
| 1 | Struggling with divorce-Hola amigo. Tu eres buena worker? Si. Yo muy buena worker. -El acento. Donde are you from? -Scranton. And before that la Filadelphia. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/23 05:10 AM |
| 8 | Am I screwed for the rest of my life?4) I think you have the probability wrong. Its more like 40% chance of success. I'm going through a divorce and it seems I will come out economically unscathed (fingers crossed) because my STBXW makes virtually the same as me. No alimony, 50/50 custody, no child support, mediated divorce that is costing a flat fee of $7,000, she can't touch my inheritance. Many of the horror stories here are from men whose wives stopped working or never worked or earned low wages. I probably wouldn't marry someo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/23 04:27 AM |
| 3 | r/divorce moderation is a wee bit nutzA woman started r/womendatingover40 because she didn't like men posting in r/datingover40. It's women only, as you might imagine, and full of bitter and angry women that trash men left and right. Imagine a room full of 40 year old feminist incels. Very toxic. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/23 02:14 AM |
| 3 | I regret not making my marriage work and now my ex husband is happily remarriedOh, she'll get offers. I'm sure she can go on Tinder and get a guy to come over in 5 minutes Now getting one that is as fit/attractive as me and wants to be in LTR with her and her 2 kids in elementary school, her demanding career, and possible BPD at age 48? That's a little harder. I only wish her happiness. But peruse r/datingover40 and you see a lot of sad and bitter women that aren't crushing it as 40 something divorcees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/23 02:03 AM |
| 1 | InheritanceThis. An estate planner can set up a revocable trust that will further protect the inheritance from divorce and bankruptcy, etc. And from a second divorce! If you remarry after you have the inheritance, you will need to protect it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/23 06:12 PM |
| 3 | I regret not making my marriage work and now my ex husband is happily remarriedI can believe it. My counselor has mentioned multiple times how women like my STBXW (late 40s, two young kids, demanding job) have a difficult time. Counselor wants me to be prepared if STBXW wants to reconcile after she tests the water and sees its not so great. Now I'm sure my STBXW can and will go on Tinder and find plenty of men that will bang her. But her chances of remarrying and being happy are lower than mine. I can date 10 years younger. Her, not so easily. I thinK people here think thi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/23 05:31 AM |
| 1 | STBXW is on deed but not on mortgage. Can I simply buy her out without refinancing?I hear you, but where I live $700k is a starter house. Buying her out is costly. The current $2,400 mortgage payment would be more like $4000 if i had to start over (even with a big down payment.) I've got kids half the time and can't really downsize into a small apartment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/23 12:16 AM |
| 1 | STBXW is on deed but not on mortgage. Can I simply buy her out without refinancing?Well, she earned as much as me during the marriage and our retirement funds are virtually the same so we've agreed each will keep theirs. I have a gov Thrift Saving Program account, which is the fed government's version of a 401k. The rules usually mimic that of a 401k but there may be differences. My TSP doesn't have enough to cover the $300,000+ I will owe her. I have an inheritance in a trust that I can draw from and make up the difference, or I could take it all out from the trust. I didn't … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/23 01:11 AM |
| 1 | STBXW is on deed but not on mortgage. Can I simply buy her out without refinancing?No, one fortunate thing I did was marry someone that made the same income as me. We met at work and until recently made the exact salary and our retirement funds are close to equal. The again, we work in a demanding field and her career aspirations and how they impacted me and the kids became a huge point of friction. I will wonder if I had married more traditional women that focused on family if things would have been different. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/23 01:50 PM |
| 2 | Anyone feel trapped because they feel they're too broke to divorce?Nothing. Some very knowledgeable folks WAY into skincare routines swear by Cerave. Here's a idea - find the GOA products their website recommends for you and buy the Cerave equivalent. The Ordinary is another fairly priced brand that people love. If Cerave doesn't have an equivalent, The Ordinary may. If they don't, it's probably because the GOA is some BS 'proprietary blend' and they don't want you to know you what you are buying so you don't realize you are overpaying. But GOA is a fire and fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 05:57 AM |
| 3 | I am confused with my life, divorce, mariage and hook upsWhat bot wrote this? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/23 04:07 AM |
| 3 | Anybody ever regret getting divorced because you never got as good sex again?I'm probably not the only one wondering how you are finding all these women. I've not re-entered the dating pool yet, but I've taken a look at who's on Match between ages 40-50 and, boy, is it grim. I'm 50 and in excellent shape and look halfway decent, and I can't see myself lowering my standards for 95% of them. (And I assume the 5% I would tap are getting tons of messages.) Not to mention I suspect a good portion of them are older and heavier than their pictures indicate. Interested to hear y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/23 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Divorced father's, would you rather live a life alone or live a life with someone who doesn't love you + a kid you adore.Where do you live that doesn't at least consider joint custody? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/23 04:26 AM |
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