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IcyTrapezium Archive

View 3 posts and 4,314 comments by IcyTrapezium on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Older people, stay at home spouses, those with advanced degrees, and higher earners cheat more too. That goes for men and women. By mid 40s numbers start rising. Women cheat most in their 60s. Should we avoid people of these age groups and not date anyone who wants to be a stay at home parent? Or anyone with higher education and a higher than 100k income? Do you think age, being a stay at home parent, education and money cause infidelity? Or again are their likely confounding variables? I have a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 06:28 PM
1

It does have to do with what I’m saying. There are confounding factors. I’m a nurse. I used to work ICU (long stressful hours) and now I work a boring clinic job with normal hours. There’s different types of nursing. Black people are more likely to cheat. But it’s likely another aspect about the cheaters other than blackness that causes them to cheat, wouldn’t you agree? You can point out which groups tend to cheat more but the confounding factors matter. WHY you had many sex partners before mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 03:36 AM
1

Nurses and teachers consistently rank highest among professions of people who cheat. Do people who go into the caring professions no value commitment and should they be avoided since they cheat more? Or are there perhaps confounding factors and it isn’t nursing or teaching itself that makes them cheat so much. Valuing your body doesn’t require restricting who gets access to it. Someone can value their body by abstaining from alcohol, going to the gym everyday, eating healthy, respecting their ow…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 10:53 PM
1

I think this is likely cultural. If you’re taught having safe sex for recreation is bad or dirty or irresponsible, the it probably does indicate low self worth or perhaps a kink around doing “bad” things and getting a thrill out of that. I was taught recreational sex before marriage is normal, even commonplace, and good for refining my tastes. My mother told me to have a different man for every day of the week (“and one of them should be a good dancer, one should be rich and one should be gay” w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 08:47 PM
3

A real man is a disappointment lol. Good thing I’m with fake man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 09:03 AM
4

I figured by the way you write that you are. Most people who aren’t selfish don’t say “can you even blame me for cheering while traveling?” In fact I’d argue one reason I have such good sexual experiences is because I’m attuned to whether someone is selfish in any area of their life. I don’t have an interest in sleeping with men who are selfish in bed and who we are in bed is who we are in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 08:53 AM
–

This is a very strange line of thinking. You think because a man or woman posts a flattering picture of themselves that means they would want to…. Have sex with people who see it? That’s a strange leap and not how attraction works for most people. If a man posts a shirtless picture of himself does that mean he wants to sleep with anyone who sees the picture? Also no. If we are talking about exhibitionism that isn’t a particularly rare kink for people but it doesn’t necessarily include having sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 08:49 AM
2

I find the same is true for men. The last two one night stands I had before getting with my fiancé were men also traveling abroad in London. Both gave endless enthusiastic oral. I think really sexual people tend to just be good at receiving and giving pleasure and they get off on it and the type of people who have ONS in hotel rooms are really sexual people usually.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 08:22 AM
1

True and having a hotel makes a lot of men very bold lmao. A disproportionate number of men who have approached me for one night stands were men in town for business with a hotel room. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. My partner told me in his single days women would want to do kinky stuff with him if he was from out of town and had a hotel room. Basically they objectified him. It’s crazy some of the stuff they’d want him to do. It actually made him uncomfortable a few times!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 08:03 AM
6

I mean this is true of anyone who sleeps with a partnered person. Not sure how this is gender specific. But “you’ll lose ‘em the way you got ‘em” comes to mind. The men complaining about cheating probably aren’t often the same men doing the cheating though.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 07:58 AM
0

Yeah I think he’d get bored without a job and I understand liking having your own money. But he has to travel for work and I’d prefer he be in town more often.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 07:56 AM
2

Damn you must have really terrible sex to not believe I could be a woman lmao. And horrific taste in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 07:55 AM
2

Yeah… I’m a woman. I’ve never had sex with a woman but I do talk to women about orgasms especially when I was younger. The ones who had trouble basically uniformly had a psychological hang up. Occasionally it was medication related. I’m sorry you have trouble believing a woman like me exists who has had such good interactions sexually with men and who orgasms easily. It saddens me. But yeah, we exist. Frankly I wonder if a lot of women on here are lying when they say most men don’t care about th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 07:49 AM
2

I don’t care. I wouldn’t really want it involved in our partnered sex but what he does to masturbate is up to him. He could use a fleshlight I could not possibly care less. Don’t care about porn either. I use a vibrator when he’s not around and watch porn. Would be odd if I cared he did something similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 07:00 AM
-2

I actually want my man to retire early and encourage him to. I own properties so don’t pay rent and make enough money for both of us and I’d prefer he be a house husband. He’s not comfortable with that though and wants to contribute. He’s does make my meals though and does my laundry occasionally since he works fewer hours than me. I really don’t see the point of him working from a financial standpoint point but he is a business owner so I get he doesn’t want to give up what he’s worked for. I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 06:21 AM
2

I said it wasn’t insignificant. I just said it isn’t always the most intimate act and can be for recreation. Sex just like masturbation doesn’t always inherently carry a particular meaning. The meaning comes from the people placing a meaning on it. Casual recreational sex can still involve respect, consideration, generosity and warmth without either person pretending there’s a deeper bond than actually exists. And sometimes not assigning enormous emotional significance to sex is actually the mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 03:49 AM
–

I do wonder why that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 05:14 PM
3

Having casual sex doesn’t mean “willing to have it with anyone” and that’s a really dishonest portrayal of people who like casual sex. We tend to want to have it with people we actually like who like us. How dishonest can you be my gods. And you can say you didn’t imply a connection before but you did. Now you seem to imply you know people like me exactly who are securely attached but before you claimed we all must be (scary voice) “deficient.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:37 PM
3

Eating is significant. Just like all human activities that matter. Having a human being be birthed is something the whole group would have rallied around. It doesn’t really matter how it happened. Humans are like that and it’s one of our best features. We care for our children, our pregnant, our sick. It doesn’t matter how they got that way. It’s honestly one of our coolest cooperative features.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:34 PM
4

I’m very securely attached actually. I was raised in a loving home with a very sex positive family consisting of my married biological parents. I wasn’t raised to think I should only have sex with people I wanted to spend a life with. Casual sex was modeled for me in how my mother talked about her youth and encouraged me to behave. She’s still happily married. I’m engaged. Some people do have attachment issues and that’s why they sleep around just like how some virgins have intimacy and attachme…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 03:24 PM
–

I do truly wonder about it. Like how can my experience be so vastly different? Is it because I pick better men (I.e. men who clearly enjoy my presence and are enthusiastic but not smarmy) or is it because I’m so active in bed and communicate what I like clearly? Idk. But it confuses me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 11:38 AM
4

And another 30 percent watch it a few times a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 09:16 AM
3

“Following a thorough statistical review of all significant neuroimaging studies, we offer strong quantitative evidence that the neuronal response to visual sexual stimuli, contrary to the widely accepted view, is independent of biological sex. Both men and women show increased activation in many cortical and subcortical brain regions thought to be involved in the response to visual sexual stimuli, while the limited sex differences that have been found and reported previously refer to subjective…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 09:07 AM
5

It’s very suspicious we can’t see the questionnaire to see how the questions were framed. Do we know that the men actually thought the woman didn’t want to engage in sex? The most common method being the vague “telling her what she wants to hear” is also suspicious. That could mean many things positive or negative. Not to mention all the problems with sample size and how representative it could be. If you can provide the questionnaire I’d engage with this more but it reeks of propaganda to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:58 AM
5

The majority of women also watch porn. There’s also all types of porn. A lot of it focuses on female pleasure. Of course, a lot of it doesn’t as well. The idea that porn causes men to be selfish is odd. Sounds a lot like “video games make kids shoot up schools.” Most men know the difference between porn and reality. They know the tall young pizza boy with insane abdominal fitness, an 8 inches penis, seemingly endless stamina and buckets of semen who has sex with the hot milf who answers the door…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:45 AM
6

My point is the study uses vague language and lists some things that aren’t usually coercive as coercive strategies. It’s not coercion to “focus on sex with a stranger.” Unless you assume no woman wants to have sex with strangers. That would be a sexist and infantilizing assumption about women. Getting someone alone to make a move also isn’t coercive. Women do it to men all the time. Again, unless you start with the assumption no women want to get alone with a man and have sex. Which, again, is …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:39 AM
4

Does it actually list telling her what she wants to hear as a coercive strategy? This is so vague. Why not say “lying to her.” It’s agreed lying to have sex is bad, but over complimenting someone or laughing at even their not funny jokes isn’t coercion. It’s just flattery.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:35 AM
4

Why I am ok with my friends introducing men to me? Why I am ok with asking a man to go outside a bar with me to smoke? Why I’m ok with having sex with a “stranger” I just met at a bar? Because there’s nothing wrong or coercive about any of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:29 AM
3

If it’s evident this is the case I would ask the women to empower herself by leaving. Also it’s hard for normal healthy people to enjoy people who don’t enjoy them. Therapy is in order.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:28 AM
4

Agreed with all this. Some men are very selfish but I don’t find it’s the norm at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:24 AM
4

I wouldn’t want to date someone who pretends to enjoy my company or any activity. If you don’t enjoy sex you shouldn’t be dating someone who enjoys sex. If you don’t enjoy specifically sex with that person, leave them so you both can seek the sex you want and enjoy elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:17 AM
4

From your link: The following strategies were reported by order of frequency: asked her repeatedly to have sex (48.6%); had a friend, partner, or group of friends help you get what you want (46.6%), had a female friend make the woman feel safe and convince her (43.8%), told her you knew she wanted it (39.3%), focused on a stranger to have sex with (37.9%), had a female friend bring her to you (37.6%), and got her away from everyone to somewhere private and under your control (37.5%). These strat…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:16 AM
4

I don’t play tennis but I play cards often and yes, I enjoy it more when my partner is enjoying the game. I’ve played cards with people who got upset at losing and it made the game not fun for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:04 AM
3

You’re assuming all the woman who don’t orgasm have partners not trying sincerely to help them achieve orgasm. We can assume some are because the man doesn’t care. But not all. I had an ex boyfriend who couldn’t orgasm during sex almost like half the time especially if he was anxious about something at work. For a lot of people it’s a mental block.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:47 AM
4

I was just thinking this all sounds like a philosophy 101 “does true altruism exist?” discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:45 AM
5

Men can orgasm from being raped too. I don’t understand what you mean when you say pleasure is not the same for women and men. In what way is it not the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:44 AM
5

Even if this were true, in practice what real difference does it make if a man is giving me pleasure because it gives him pleasure or just selflessly? Honestly I’d rather they be getting off on giving me pleasure. I don’t want my pleasure to be a favor they do me. I know I like giving pleasure in great part because it gives me pleasure. It’s a nice little quirk of being human. We enjoy making others happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:43 AM
5

Food literally goes inside you and can kill you. Until recently dying of food poisoning or lack of clean water wasn’t uncommon. Dying from sex was far less common. You’re elevating sex to a degree many people don’t, and that’s fine, but it’s not the one correct way to conceptualize sex. Calling it a “problem” to compare fundamental human activities is interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:40 AM
2

I understand if this is your experience but it isn’t mine. I’ve had sex with probably close to 100 men and I can think of 2 who didn’t seem to care a great deal about pleasure. They were also selfish in general and that was obvious in many areas. Who we are in bed is who we are in life. I’m perplexed when women say most men don’t care. I found the vast majority loved giving oral and were almost overly concerned with me having more than one orgasm. This was in casual sex and within relationships.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 07:01 AM
2

Well that sucks, I’m sorry. I tended to have casual sex with the same men. Perhaps they wanted me to want to keep seeing them so they were eager to please. Though the last 2 one night stands I had involved both performing a great deal of enthusiastic oral on me so… idk. It would be interesting to know why our experiences are so different. I asked my fiancé once why he thought I have such good experiences with men and he said it’s because I’m unusually direct, confident and enthusiastic but I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 12:43 PM
3

I hope you never see those men again. Especially in the beginning normal men are eager to please and impress.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 12:22 PM
3

Sure people have the right to believe women are worthless and used up once they’ve had sex. They have the right to believe women should submit to men and that anyone who believes otherwise will be tortured in hell for all eternity. And I have the right to call it what it is: hateful stupid bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:26 AM
6

Yeah pregnancy is horrifying to me. Thank science for safe abortions! If I couldn’t tolerate the pill I’d probably just have oral sex when I was younger. But I loved the pill. Never had to deal with periods or pregnancy and I’m very thankful. It also lowers ovarian and endometrial cancer risk. Your friend was raped I hope she never sees that POS man again. I wish her the best with the abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:25 AM
6

Lot of patriarchy and fascist loving women out there and you’re right I don’t speak for them. I speak against them. Purity culture is rampant so pretending only redpill men spout this rhetoric is blatantly dishonest.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:16 AM
4

Carrying water for the patriarchy by turning sex into a prize to be defended is bad for women. All women. It turns us into a product for consumption. It’s where the idea that sex defiles us and we lose value every time we have sex comes from. You can let people hurt others in peace all you want. I will call it out for the harmful bullshit it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 08:49 AM
8

Oh agreed it was mutually beneficial. And my only point with how many men I’ve been with is I have a good sample size. Men love when women enjoy sex. Any man who doesn’t is a deviation from the norm. Not that you’re interested, but I’ve also never faced many worrisome risks. But I tolerate the birth control pill very well and never met more than one man who wanted to not wear a condom before we were exclusive. I do think I have a demeanor that suggests I won’t tolerate stupid bullshit like not u…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 08:26 AM
4

I wish you the best! It’s easy to get burned in dating and have it sour future interactions. When I was young I wasn’t as good at figuring out who the good guys were. Had to kiss a couple frogs but hey I learned and now I’m with the love of my life!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 08:12 AM
7

Oh it’s significant like food and sleep and meditation are. It’s even sacred like all those things are. But I still sometimes eat fast food and really enjoy it. Fast food serves a wonderful purpose. So do meals that take hours to prepare. I like cat naps in the park under the sun and 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep next to the man I love. Life offers all sorts of experiences. It’s just the sex isn’t always highly intimate. And that’s ok. The most intimate things in my life have involved things li…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 04:55 AM
13

Not being curious or open to how people different from you are isn’t the advantage you think it is. Thinking people who are different from you are deficient is certainly a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 04:48 AM
6

I can understand that. My experience though is that men typically don’t want to use me. They want it to be a mutual thing even if sometimes it’s faster or slower than I’d like. And yes sometimes they want to wait longer than I do! Most men seem to just be enamored with the idea of me wanting them and enjoying them. I really never feel used. But I also only date men who seem to really like me as a person in a very evident way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 04:40 AM
12

I have sex because I want to have sex. I’m not a sex worker so people don’t need to “earn it”. I just have to be comfortable and want it. What makes me comfortable and want it is up to me but it’s not “earned” because it’s not a reward for the man. If anything it’s a reward for ME.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:41 AM
9

Nah I’ve had probably almost a hundred sex partners and 99 percent of them were obsessed with making me orgasm. I’d say most cared more about me orgasming than their own orgasm. I seriously don’t know what women are talking about when they claim otherwise and I can only assume you’re starfish in bed and men just get discouraged. If you’re enthusiastic men love that and want to keep doing whatever is making you happy for as long or even longer than you even want. Nothing makes the average man hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:38 AM
7

Well to me it isn’t that intimate of an act always. Sometimes it’s just recreation. It’s fair for men to expect some women are like me. Since, ya know, we exist. Also plenty of men view sex as extremely special and turn down sex from women they don’t knew well. Ask me how I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:35 AM
15

I find that most normal men do care about me. This idea that men don’t care about women as people must be a cultural thing because in the spaces I occupy men like women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:33 AM
-1

It doesn’t fit their script of how men and women are supposed to act. They like the power of thinking they have this prize they have to defend. If a man isn’t interested in the prize they’ll call him gay but secretly be devastated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:32 AM
1

Women like this tend to view sex as something that degrades them and something that is done to them, not something they actively participate in. A lot of men think this about sex too. They think having sex with a woman raises a person’s value and sex with a man lowers it. So, wanting to have sex with a woman, to such people, is akin to an insult. I’ve never been insulted a man wanted to sleep with me. Uninterested? Plenty of times. Insulted? Nah. And there’s quite a few men I’d have liked to hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:30 AM
–

Women who feel used and degraded after sex probably do care about body count. That’s a very puritanical and anti-sex view. Probably some internalized misogyny too. I’ve never felt used for sex. I only have sex I want to have. I’ve had men accuse me of using them for sex, usually after I break things off. But I wasn’t using them. Just because I didn’t want more than sex doesn’t mean they were used and them feeling that way is because of their own thoughts, not anything I did. A man could literall…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 10:31 AM
3

So men select for income in a mate?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 04:45 AM
–

What kind of sex do men want to have that women hate? Normal women love sex. And were attracted to many men not just our husbands. Doesn’t mean we act on it. Women who claim otherwise are either asexual or lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 04:37 AM
–

Why would I care if my man watches porn? I watch porn. I want a man with a nice ass and chest. In fact I have one. I tell him how great his ass is almost every time he gets out of bed naked. This is a weird question. I wouldn’t want a man who didn’t like my ass either. Mutual attraction is lovely.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 04:35 AM
6

Approaching people in real life is fine. The issue is harassment. I don’t get women being insulted being respectfully (key word) approached in public. As long as the approacher takes being declined access well and moves on it shouldn’t be a problem. If you don’t like being approached in public respectfully maybe get therapy. It’s not an insult. It’s just part of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 11:55 AM
1

Agreed. But the ill effects referenced regarding men and loneliness tend to be along the lines of addiction and violence. Emotional instability like that isn’t solved by sex. Plenty of people having sex have these issues. There’s an often quoted phrase “the opposite of addiction is connection.” That’s not about sex. But yes sex is a major human desire and not having it is rough for men and women who enjoy sex. When I’m not having sex I get antsy and sex obsessed. But it doesn’t make me smoke cra…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 11:52 AM
1

Plenty of societies and subcultures have men with close male friendships. Cooperation is how men defeat other groups of men after all. Rome was built on cooperation. We are primates, not lions. Male chimps cooperate. They even groom each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 07:34 AM
0

Men being more affected by loneliness is a failure of society and has little to do with men needing a woman. Men aren’t raised to have intimacy outside of sex. If men learned to build intimacy with more than just a sex partner they’d be happier outside of sexual relationships. Also the idea that women don’t want sex as much has always been odd to me. Women yearn for men just as much as men yearn for women. The difference is women have stronger friendships and support networks outside of our sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 06:24 AM
1

I find rugby players very attractive in their little shorts. Women who don’t like shorts on men are probably just imagining an unattractive man. Hot men look amazing in shorts.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 05:12 AM
–

The dating market does actually act like a marketplace though as distasteful as people find it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 05:05 AM
–

Revealed preferences are studied not just by who people end up with but who they describe as their ideal mates once it’s coaxed out of them by different methods. There’s studies showing men and women will initially report wanting one thing but when they get to design an ideal mate their actual preferences come out. But yes, sometimes it’s just repetition compulsion and going for the familiar.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 05:03 AM
–

Honestly most people (often women) who complain about ending up with emotionally unavailable partners are emotionally unavailable themselves. There’s an odd societal trend where we don’t acknowledge just how many women are emotionally unavailable and have low emotional intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 05:02 AM
–

I disagree with the guy usually being uglier. I see fit men with fat women far more often than the reverse. The only exception is when it’s clearly a sugar daddy situation. As for “chads” I mean just look at Keanu Reeves girlfriend or Cillian Murphy’s wife. Or Robert Redford’s wives or James McAvoy’s or Hugh jackman’s first wife. All of these men are exceptionally attractive and they got with women who bordered on unfortunate looking. I also disagree with height being overrated. If anything it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 04:56 AM
6

Women sexualize and fantasize about “bad boys” they’d never marry all the time. Hell omegaverse stuff and monster porn is popular with women. Girls and women have crushes on people at school or work they don’t know or talk to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 09:00 AM
–

Why deny it? For the same reason people with preferences for certain ethnic groups or weight deny it. It’s not socially rewarded to express such prefernces.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 08:09 AM
–

I think a lot of the women who say that are either bitter femcels, joining a trend just to gas women up, don’t actually see these women as attractive they just appreciate hairstyles and makeup, or even they’re just not actually straight. Comphet is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 01:00 PM
15

It’s both party’s responsibility to be honest about what they want and ensure compatibility with their partner. If they aren’t honest and they don’t get what they want, they only have themselves to blame. You’re right it isn’t just his obligation. Expecting only him to be responsible for these conversations is infantilizing the women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:02 AM
3

I have to assume you either live in a small town or don’t go out and talk to strangers at trendy bars and restaurants on Saturday night. There are definitely good looking men at those places
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:57 PM
15

This isn’t something straight women attracted to men usually think. I live in a city and see attractive men regularly when I go out to bars and restaurants.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:21 PM
3

No. That would likely end up being a waste of time. Attraction is an important component in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:28 PM
2

Yes men seduce with shoulder to waist ratio, height, testosterone driven facial structures (strong jaw, prominent brow, defined cheekbones) hair, beards, muscles, large penis, deep voices etc. why would men have breasts other than pecs? They don’t breastfeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 03:44 AM
0

Men who live off women are not extremely rare especially in lower socioeconomic classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:34 AM
2

A lot of women are just following a social script. They don’t actually find women sexier but they may notice women out much more effort into their appearance. I wish more men grew out their hair, styled it well, wore a bit of tinted moisturizer or concealer and some subtle eye liner. It’s a shame how men used to wear makeup and then a shift happened after the French Revolution to men not wearing colorful clothes, makeup, wigs, heels and stockings anymore. It made men more beautiful and that’s wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:32 AM
2

The male of the species is the seducer. That’s why in the animal kingdom the males are more colorful and more ornamental with horns and tusks, etc. Men are supposed to seduce women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:30 AM
1

I prefer watching the man’s back and butt moving in and out of her. I don’t want to see the woman’s butt or much of the woman at all and I hate hearing women make noises in porn. I only want to hear men moaning. I watch a lot of men solo masturbating for this reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:53 PM
2

I don’t find the female face or body beautiful, unless it’s an androgynous face. I find fit young men gorgeous and am confused why anyone would prefer women. They look ungainly to me. But I’m a straight woman so…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:52 PM
1

So this was self-reporting then? We know women understate the importance of physical attractiveness and overstate the importance of earning potential. Your link was a of a few hundred university undergrad students in 2 countries. This one is of around 10 thousand people I believe in several countries, if you’re interested: Comparisons between stated and revealed preferences shed light on gender differences and similarities: For attractiveness, men’s and (especially) women’s stated preferences un…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 04:48 PM
7

Could you like the studies?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:58 PM
6

Only push I have it’s the same as how a man might want a relationship with you but doesn’t desire you or a woman desires you for sex but not a relationship. It’s weird yall act like male hobo-sexual and female sluts who enjoy casuals NSA sex don’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:57 PM
4

He didn’t say always. He later embellished on that and said sometimes they didn’t cum at all. Idk why people act like young people can’t be good at sex. My high school sweetheart was great at oral. Most men love when you gently direct them with oral. Most women I’ve been told by men don’t communicate though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:58 AM
4

Yeah I call it a trance. I enter a trance like state after the first orgasm sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:29 AM
1

True but not if the woman is on top or the one doing the movement in other positions. I like doing the movement in doggy style while the man stays still. It’s the only way I can orgasm from that position.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:23 AM
3

Yeah I can orgasm without touching myself just by thinking about super sexy scenarios and visuals. I feel pretty lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:22 AM
16

I come within a minute of fingering and multiple times from oral and PIV. It’s strange to me when women act like that isn’t possible. It’s the norm for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:45 AM
9

It’s usually psychological. Very rarely have I encountered a woman who couldn’t orgasm from sex who didn’t have some psychological hang up around sex. Dig enough and you’ll find it. Sometimes it seems to be anatomical or hormonal though, but that’s more rare especially in younger women. Edited to add: I forgot to mention medications. Sometimes it’s because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:44 AM
1

He’s often portrayed as a bumbling idiot, actually. Doug is a delivery driver. He is some average guy. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BumblingDad
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 11:07 AM
2

Or ashamed women or puritanical men. Most women watch porn. We can disagree on semantics but just like eating can become compulsive so can porn use.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 03:51 AM
2

I think there is such a thing but usually what’s called porn addiction isn’t addiction. It more likely to be someone who has an issue with porn being upset they keep watching it or a partner upset their partner watches it. That doesn’t meet the criteria for addiction. But addiction to certain behaviors that become compulsive (not just dependence on substances) does exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:26 PM
4

I’ve approached men. I get horny out of nowhere and from looking at men on a daily basis. I definitely don’t have sex to please men. It’s to please myself and have multiple orgasms. Though it does turn me on to watch a man enjoy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:47 PM
2

Most women and men do experience spontaneous attraction just like most men and women experience responsive desire. It’s a weird Reddit myth that most women only have responsive desire. Even the books they usually reference like Come as You Are don’t claim that. As an aside: responsive desire includes seeing your partner and desiring them. It’s any desire that involves an outside stimulus. Spontaneous desire is literally spontaneous. I see a lot of people on Reddit act like responsive desire mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:45 PM
5

I watch a lot of porn. The vast majority of porn is not violent. Besides, it’s more so women than men consuming violent porn. That’s more a woman’s kink. Studies all show this. Women like watching CNC stuff. They like reading it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:40 PM
8

I can only think of Girls and that’s because Dunham was in charge. They had her sleeping with plenty of men much more conventionally attractive than her. The only movie I can think of is Dinner in America.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:38 PM
6

Some women who don’t like sex or their partners probably feels this way. I do not because I love sex and have liked or even loved all my ex-sex partners, casual or serious. Get with a slut like me with high self-esteem. Most men especially if they aren’t quite young can’t keep up with me. If anything they give me sex acts as a reward before their refractory period is truly over on a Saturday night.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:35 PM
7

They don’t think these will be a reality. They don’t think they’re going to have sex with their stepsister while she’s “stuck in a dryer” somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:15 PM
20

Porn didn’t make men unrealistic about sex. Men know tall ripped pizza boys with 8 inch dicks fucking a milf is fantasy. Men aren’t stupid. None of what you’re talking about is because of porn. Most women watch porn too and we don’t expect pizza boys to look like they do in porn. Women are not more intelligent than men or more media literate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:33 PM
1

So you denied the other ones what you call the greatest thing you can ever get in the area of relationships. It’s beyond comparison. But you didn’t give them that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:58 AM
1

Sure. Were you also a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:35 AM
3

That’s cool! Out of curiosity: are you a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:08 AM
2

Were they your first? Most of what you describe is just a healthy and nice relationship and has nothing to do with being someone’s first.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 11:07 AM
2

Basically everyone likes variety and yet most people are socially serially monogamous. Youth is attractive on everyone and to everyone. There is a reading Hollywood leading men typically have many desires in common including being young. But people tend to also prefer to be with people near their age. There is a reason Jeff Bezos married a woman in her mid-fifties. And woman like saggy skin on men? Refer to the above. Men and women cheat but most men and women do not cheat. Yeah a lot of men and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:56 AM
2

I’m primarily attracted to Latino men with long legs, long hair, full lips, and toned bodies. After that they have to be laid back, easy going and treat me incredibly well. Everyone prefers socially and emotionally competent partners unless they’re also incompetent.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:52 AM
3

We just are attracted to physically attractive men. Naturally many women will also be attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:40 AM
2

Not an outlier. Most women aren’t in abusive relationships and about 65% of women usually orgasm during sex. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/23/golden-trio-of-moves-boosts-chances-of-female-orgasm-say-researchers
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:39 AM
3

Right. Your concern is about what goes on in men’s minds not so much what goes on in the woman’s mind. Many men seem to select partners based on what other men (including men they don’t know) think about her. It’s strange as a woman because I select men based on attraction and compatibility. I don’t care what other women think about him I care what I think about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:35 AM
4

This is interesting. Your worry presumably is what other men think, not what the woman thinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:27 AM
–

Nah just always had healthy relationships with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:49 AM
5

But being a millionaire is valuable and fun. A partner’s virginity isn’t valuable or fun outside religious fundamentalist groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:30 AM
4

Men who are sexually desirable absolutely hold power. Saying women hold the power just indicates you’ve only experienced relationships with women who didn’t desire you much but you desired them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:28 AM
3

That’s not nature. That’s certain cultures. Regardless in most cultures parents want grandchildren.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:26 AM
7

You consider sex to be striking a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:25 AM
–

If you think of sex in such a negative way and gross way I hope you’re not having it. I’m so thankful I’m not infected with this sex-negative mind disease.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:37 AM
–

Your experience isn’t universal. The orgasm gap has always been in my favor especially with oral. I always felt bad for men that they can’t have multiple orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:28 AM
–

Yeah… I don’t have sex with men who think they’re damaging me by having sex with me. Never slept with a conservative or sex-negative man. I haven’t risked that much. But I’m on birth control, am pro-choice, vaccinated against HPV and always used condoms with hook ups. I’ve never had a condom break. I understand not all women can tolerate birth control. What I gained was lots of orgasms and good stories. I never have thought of it as my hole getting stuffed. That’s so… gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:26 AM
–

I agree with this take. You explain this well. I used to really not understand why some women would say they were used for sex. When I have sex, it’s for the experience and the orgasms. But yeah they’re basically using themselves to try to get something which is so gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:39 AM
–

If you experience sex as being “used for your hole” then don’t have sex. I have sex for all the orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:37 AM
–

What does that mean? Thinking about it as getting your hole stuffed? When I think about getting laid it is a positive thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:37 AM
-1

I’ve never noticed feminists promoting hooking up. More so I’ve seen them say it’s not wrong. I talk about enjoying hooking up a lot in my youth but I don’t think that’s really “promoting” it. And I’ve never said it was “empowering.” It’s just extremely pleasurable and fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:11 AM
4

Yes of course I’ve known men in situationships where they wanted more. I have a lot of male friends. Some have mentioned this happening to them. The last time I was in a situationships it was the guy who pushed for us to officially date and be monogamous. I went along with that for a couple months but there was a reason I was hesitant in the beginning and I ended up breaking up with him. He was neurotic and it stressed me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:05 AM
8

For men and women: Insecurity. Secure people aren’t afraid of clarifying a relationship. This doesn’t apply to situationships where the participants are happy. Some people like the “will they won’t they” dynamic because it can be thrilling in its own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:00 AM
0

Well he paid way more than dollar store prices. Diploma mills are pricey since you’re basically buying a degree. He apparently is licensed though so he managed to pass boards. He’s not a dummy. But he is a grifter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:56 AM
–

Women who don’t want to be fully functioning adults don’t like making decisions. That’s what a lot of this boils down to. They want to be passenger princesses in life. That works for some women until it doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:16 AM
6

I was curious about how he managed to get advanced degrees in psychology. He went to a diploma mill: Alliant International University. He apparently used to make reasonable content but he gets almost all his views talking about how women peak at 18, so that’s his shtick now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:14 AM
2

If a woman is not meeting socially expected duties for women she will be more stressed than a man not meeting duties not expected of him. This has nothing to do with innate wiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:20 PM
1

Isn’t the reason we have more autoimmune diseases because our immune systems are stronger than men’s? So our immune systems go into overdrive more. So why would we naturally be cleaner? But this doesn’t prove it’s biological. If I’m expected to be the one keeping the home clean and will be judged more if it isn’t. when it isn’t clean I will be more stressed, surely? But I agree! If it was really about protecting and providing this would include providing a protected environment. That’s protectin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:17 PM
9

I’ve seen fathers teach sons to “do a bad job and she won’t ask you to do (insert task) again.” This is passed down. Men aren’t stupid. Men are very smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:11 PM
4

Is it? What are those reasons? Women are raised to be the ones cleaning up after men and we are judged more harshly for not keeping a clean household, but what biological reason is that? Women aren’t more susceptible to disease.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:09 PM
2

Where are you getting this about brain wiring making clutter more of an issue for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:07 PM
2

Were these jacking off discussion when you were children? Everyone knows young teens masturbate more. The survey included men of all ages. Testosterone decreases starting in the late teens. Meanwhile women’s estrogen cycles stay relatively the same until menopause. This is why people say a man’s sexual peak is 18 and a woman’s is 35. (Big generalization but a saying for a reason nonetheless).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:23 PM
2

Then don’t spread lies about the information I provided. It wasn’t a bunch of college kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:17 PM
2

Then don’t spread lies about the information I provided. It wasn’t a bunch of college kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:17 PM
3

They weren’t all college kids. From the link: “U.S. nationally representative survey of 5865 men and women ages 14–95.” You keep repeating men lie even to anonymous surveyors. What makes you think your male acquaintances are being truthful with you? If your yelling about a man in a relationship masturbating less is about my boyfriend I mentioned, he told me he masturbated once a week before he met me. Now he says he never does and we only see each other two days a week. He did say as a teen he m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:14 PM
3

Who is proud of masturbation? Are you? What an odd interpretation of making factual statements about masturbation. If we can’t trust men on surveys perhaps your male acquaintances aren’t being accurate in their self-assessments particularly when talking to you. Do you actually discuss with precision how often you masturbate with your male friends? I don’t with my platonic friends. But I do with all my boyfriends since the relationship is already sexual in nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:02 PM
2

No need to get emotional. Surveys are often unreliable. Women definitely lie about how much they masturbate. I personally do masturbate every day but my boyfriend only masturbates about once a week. Most men I’ve dated masturbated less than me, probably because I can have endless orgasms and men really can’t. But if you can’t trust surveys how do you know most men masturbate every other day? Men lie about this, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:44 AM
4

Are you sure about that? “masturbation habits of American men aged 18 and older and found that: 89.6% report that they’ve masturbated at some point during their lifetime. 60.1% have masturbated at least once in the past month. 24.2% reported not masturbating at all in the past year. Among American men aged 18 and older, 17.2% reported masturbating a few times in the past year and 6.4% reported doing so once a month during the same period. 16.1% reported masturbating a few times per month in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:08 AM
4

I’ve always had the higher drive in all my relationships. Sometimes during the honeymoon period it’s somewhat equal with me still wanting it a bit more. Idk how reliable this is but supposedly about 1/3 of women have a higher sex drive than the average man. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202212/do-men-really-have-stronger-sex-drives-than-women/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:03 AM
2

No. Never had a man ask about my past other than if I was married and what my longest relationship was. If a man cared about number of sex partners we wouldn’t be compatible. I’d assume he doesn’t have as high of a sex drive as me either if he cared and I’ve had a couple men with much lower sex drives and it made me not enjoy the relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:58 AM
5

Most men won’t even lose weight, use basic skin care or post decent pictures on dating apps. If men on the whole were so sex motivated they would start there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:09 AM
3

Yes. As long as someone is at least near average looking as a man they can have hook ups. For some reason many of the men on here act like that isn’t the case. I’ve been a bartender. I’ve seen just regular dudes hook up with regular women hundreds of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 10:07 AM
4

Yeah goods and services don’t get pussies wet either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 08:49 AM
8

Money has never made a pussy wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:04 AM
5

Self reporting is notoriously unreliable. Revealed preferences show this to not so much be the case. From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac,” said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg School of Arts and S…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:03 AM
6

Women already have a higher baseline level of oxytocin. Relatively do men really have less of a spike?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:57 AM
4

As I said, the type of women who have casual sex don’t tend to struggle with this. Women who were raised to think having sex without commitment means they are “used” have this issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:54 AM
7

This is something men who haven’t had a lot of casual sex tend to think. The type of women who have casual sex don’t get attached from casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:51 AM
7

Men release oxytocin during and after sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:47 AM
6

Where are you getting this information on vasopressin? Could you link a study? When I learned about vasopressin in nursing school it was mainly about it being the antidiuretic hormone. I’ve looked for info on vasopressin and pair boding and all I’ve ever found is one study of prairie voles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 01:38 AM
2

Most likely not. He had older girlfriends. He’s a serial predator. Not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 05:06 PM
3

Attraction to postpubescent people isn’t pedophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:38 PM
1

It’s not just thrusting it’s essentially kegels. That’s why I’d say rhythmic gripping. You probably can stimulate your own clitoris this way. Also: gspot. You might have one.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 12:01 PM
4

Gripping is possible in all positions. So is thrusting back. I actually like sex from behind (doggy) where he doesn’t move and I do the thrusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:11 AM
3

Are you gripping him back with intention? If I’m passive it still works but if I grip back rhythmically it stimulates my clitoris all by itself which is kinda cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:58 AM
4

So oral sex. That’s my favorite. Feels incredible. As for clitoris stimulation during missionary I find if he grinds himself against me during penetration right it stimulates my clitoris with his pelvis. Also there is the coital alignment technique.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:43 AM
6

Aren’t you the woman who won’t let her husband go down on her or touch her clitoris during sex? If you let your husband do things with your clitoris you might enjoy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 10:30 AM
4

Openly expressing it and acting on it is shamed for good reason. I, a 40 year old woman, can admit some 16 year old boys who have gone through puberty can be very attractive. I don’t think many people from my age group (millennial) actually have a problem with that. They’d have a problem with me acting on it. I once was watching a swim competition on mute that I assumed was college level. Nope. Those were high school boys. They looked college aged to me. Swimmers are tall and strong. It didn’t b…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:54 AM
6

I partly disagree. I’ve long said for the majority of cases the issue is psychological. However, much of it is passivity and lack of communication. A lot of women conceptualize of sex as something done to them. They don’t voice their desires and they never even get on top. If your partner gets upset when you give feedback or voice your desires have some gold damn self respect and leave him. There is absolutely no way this is a problem only in the bedroom. Who we are in bed is who we are in life.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:39 AM
2

“Now I am not actually saying modern women should fear man” Somehow I don’t believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:22 AM
1

Nah let the trash take itself out and get taken advantage of. I couldn’t care less about this. I do feel bad for the women having to do maintenance sex with an unattractive man but I assume they’re cheating and have ”headaches” often. I just don’t worry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:18 AM
4

I watched the Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert recently with my man. It was his idea and I’d never seen it. I’m gonna say that. Homophobia is never attractive in a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:25 AM
1

Thanks for the response. Yeah I don’t think my boyfriend would like it if I didn’t start enjoying it almost every time. I usually do but when I don’t get turned on by it I just enjoy the closeness. But my experience and body is different from yours because penetration almost always feels amazing to me. Sometimes I almost forget there are women who get literally zero pleasure from penetration.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:31 PM
1

You’re playing word games. We all freely consent to things we don’t particularly desire to do all the time without coercion or manipulation. Those things often aren’t unpleasant at all, we just don’t organically desire to do them. I don’t want to go for a run today but I know I’ll be happy I did and the outcome is desirable. I end up enjoying the run once I get going. This isn’t difficult to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:40 PM
1

I’m not telling anyone to do anything. I asked why they don’t do what I like to do. My wording was clear. You’re being disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:34 PM
5

They would love it if it was how many of them imagine it being. “Hey handsome! Let me take you out!” seems to be would many of them think catcalling consists of. Most catcalling isn’t genuine flirting. The catcallers know it won’t work. I’ve been asked at bus stops if I “like rough sex.” I’ve countless times been shouted at “does the carpet match the drapes?!” These aren’t compliments. They want to make me uncomfortable. They want to put me in my place.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:27 AM
1

Unwanted sex does not feel violating ”no matter who it is.” If that were true then I would experience what you’re describing so it isn’t a “no matter who” situation. It’s down to the individual. If I’m not in the mood or he’s not in the mood and uses his mouth or hands neither of us feel violated. In fact oftentimes he or I get in the mood in the middle of it or we just enjoy the closeness and it feels nice but he or I are no where near orgasming. If it hurts in some way, my question doesn’t app…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:14 PM
1

If it makes you sore that would mean it hurts. I said “if it doesn’t hurt.” So my question doesn’t apply to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:07 PM
7

Sure. It depends but generally the much younger person is less experienced and is emotionally less mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:56 PM
13

Agree with all of this but want to add: some of them enjoy the power differential. Younger people often put up with more poor treatment because they are naive and have little relationship experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:44 PM
0

Plenty of men and women have a type of reactive desire where they need sexual things to start happening before they even get into the mood. Those people aren’t being raped when they consent just because they aren’t in the mood. My boyfriend when he uses his hands on me when he’s isn’t in the mood isn’t being raped by me. Or maybe you think he is? It’s vile to compare this all to rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:40 PM
0

I consent to listening to my boyfriend complain about his job even though I don’t really want to sometimes I consent to eating some of his meals he makes for us even though it’s not what I want to eat right then always. I consent to picking him up from the airport but that’s not fun and I’d rather do anything else than deal with the nightmare that is airport traffic. Sex I’m not immediately in the mood for is way better than picking him up at the airport. And he picks me up when I fly in. I’m no…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:31 PM
–

The equivalent I think would be what my boyfriend does which is use his hands or mouth on me when he’s not in the mood again yet. But that’s interesting it doesn’t always feel nice to you. Feeling my partners skin and touch basically always feels nice to me unless I’ve checked out of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:56 PM
–

I wouldn’t call consensual sex that feels nice rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:23 PM
–

You experience consensual sex as being “used?” I don’t and neither does my partner when he uses his hands or mouth when he’s not in the mood again yet. I don’t relate to this optional thoughts some of yall have about sex being “dehumanizing” or it being something I’m used for or are using my boyfriend for. We like making each other happy. I’m sorry if you experience sex when you’re not already in the mood as you being used. Sex often gets people in the mood anyway. Some people say they have to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:22 PM
5

No 6’5 is the most liked height for men and at 6’6 women start to like it less. If you graph women’s height preferences it’s like a candy cane with 6’5 being the most liked and it going down after that. Women like 6’5 because it somehow looks the best to most women. I don’t have the study on hand, but this isn’t my opinion. Though I agree 6’5 is ideal and beyond that it looks too tall often. It’s not about wanting the most. Men don’t want the biggest breasts there is a sweet spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:14 PM
1

Always fit and active when I first start dating them. Have three ex’s who had a six pack when we met but by the time I left they had little bellies. But I’ve had men have lower libido from stress while still fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 09:52 AM
–

I’m so sorry that happened. Telling you to “shhh” through pain is sexual abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:21 AM
–

Resentment is definitely a huge relationship killer. In my past I think it may have been the top reason for most breakups.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:16 AM
–

So sorry to hear about your wife. That’s wonderful that she found ways to feel better and feel more human.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:14 AM
–

Absolutely!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:13 AM
–

Nah I don’t starfish. I just don’t find it to be work when it’s missionary.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 06:12 AM
–

Of course it can for men. I’m confused why you’d doubt that. But to be honest the men I’ve experienced who resented duty sex had a lot of emotional baggage surrounding sex either from religion or conservative influences in their upbringing. Touched out from kids I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:22 AM
–

Fair. Stress definitely has killed some of my ex boyfriend’s libidos. What strikes me though is the language women often use when they complaining about their husbands wanting sex paints their husbands as literally repulsive and their desire for sex offensive. That doesn’t seem like something a woman who likes and is attracted to her husband would feel. I don’t think these women would feel good if their husband talked about them wanting sex that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:19 AM
–

Ugh being touched out sounds awful. Thanks for the response.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:16 AM
–

Well I’m a woman so no I don’t think anal is comparable to vaginal sex. Vaginal sex shouldn’t hurt. If it does I understand why a woman wouldn’t want to do it. But as a woman I can say I’ve rarely experienced vaginal sex as uncomfortable. Usually it’s positional if it is. If it’s painful or uncomfortable for you then obviously I get why that isn’t enjoyable. In my experience most men over the age of 30 don’t really want to have sex more than once a day especially after the honeymoon period.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:13 AM
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If it painful or uncomfortable then I understand why you wouldn’t want to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:10 AM
–

Offended by the reality? It isn’t reality that sex is dehumanizing. Calling women bitches in heat or men dogs humping the wall is dehumanizing language by design. If you find sex dehumanizing you have issues with sex because consensual sex between two people in love is never inherently dehumanizing unless you make it that way. It’s a beautiful thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:14 AM
–

See? This is a psychological issue. You think missionary sex is dehumanizing. Yeah I just lie there. It’s no work. I touch him and grip him with my vagina but I wouldn’t technically have to do that. I do it because it’s enjoyable. Y’all really just don’t like your partners if watching them worship your body and feel intense pleasure is dehumanizing and violating to yall. It’s genuinely weird and I feel bad for your partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:00 AM
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Why would sex with a man you love feel violating? That right there points to a psychological issue. Edited to add: if it hurts I obviously get why it’s not enjoyable but sex shouldn’t hurt with prep and/or lube.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:58 AM
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I don’t think it is pathological. Most men over the age of 30ish aren’t going for sex more than once a day. They aren’t “humping the walls like a pit bull.” That is such dehumanizing language. Do you even like the men you date? During the honeymoon period it might be more, but it will settle into max once a day. Men talk a big game, but as a woman with a high sex drive I can attest to this. I don’t get why women don’t want sex once a day. I genuinely think this is some psychological thing. Sex i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:50 AM
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Honest question: why don’t women just have sex to have sex? If it doesn’t hurt and she just lies there I don’t get the big deal. Admittedly I like having sex every day, but even when I’m not in the mood I just go along with sex because it feels nice and it’s not even work for me if he initiates. In missionary I just lie there.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:38 AM
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My experience is the opposite. Men’s libidos tank with stress. I use sex as a stress reliever. I think maybe kids just aren’t as stressful for men. Because men definitely lose their libido with stress. It’s been a problem in my past relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:35 AM
5

“Forbidden fruit” and “common male desire to emulate, supplant or surpass his father” is deep. It’s not just hurr durr actress is hot and experienced.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:31 PM
6

Exactly. So it is “that deep.”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:23 PM
5

Then why not teacher or coach or friend’s mom? It’s specifically stepmom which is incest adjacent. Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:51 PM
9

Stepmom is vanilla? Isn’t that in the like top three searches lately per pornhub?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:31 AM
13

That’s short hand for “he could be very choosy and still chose me.” Jack’s character in Titanic is poor and Rose is Rich. Women also have manic pixie dream boy fantasies. A recent popular one was Dinner in America. In that movie Simon is a conventionally handsome jobless punk singer and he sweeps a plain Jane off her feet. Women love all kinds of erotic stories as long as the man is handsome.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:29 AM
10

The guy in 50 shades isn’t an asshole is he? He is obsessed with the woman and in the end he tells her she’s “topping from the bottom” so she’s the one really control. Guys really into WWII and war hero movies don’t necessarily want to be at war, do they? If a man has a fantasy about getting shot and returning a war hero is that a fantasy about literally wanting to get shot or a fantasy about being valued? In Fifty Shades the woman is highly valued to an obsessive degree. Many people have compli…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:05 AM
0

Bars. I get approached all the time at bars and I’ve never seen a woman mind if they are approached respectfully and a “no thank you” is respected.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:29 AM
2

The idea this is particularly gendered I’ll disagree with. People complain about dating no matter what. If there isn’t something to complain about they’ll make something up to be dissatisfied by. When I was hooking up a lot I would meet men who were annoyed I didn’t want to take things further. Were they truly wanting to take things further or they really liked the idea of me wanting more? Sometimes I genuinely think they just were offended I didn’t want them for more than sex. But deep down the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:26 AM
1

Of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 08:29 PM
0

Of course. It’s a primary drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:54 PM
2

Yes. All of life’s pleasures are optional. If you were a woman you’d want to have sex. It’s an option you would likely choose out of instinct. So sex is optional, but probable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:51 PM
7

Women could also choose to only eat tasteless food designed to only provide nutrients and no pleasure. But most people want and are going to eat bacon. Sex is a normal human drive. Of course it’s a choice. It’s a choice 99 percent of people are going to make because of human nature. We’re designed to have sex drives (most of us).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:47 PM
3

I wasn’t addressing anything else. Motherhood is optional for some women. Rural impoverished women in states with no access to abortion might not experience it as optional.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:42 PM
3

I agree with the orgasm gap comment. I don’t think that’s the only reason but I think it’s a big part of it. Many women expect men to give them orgasms and be mind readers. Get on top! Control the pace to how you like it! Tell him how to give oral. Etc. etc
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:40 PM
4

That would be taking away someone’s rights, would it not? Both the father’s and the child’s right to a relationship with their father. But I don’t have a firm opinion on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 07:37 PM
2

I agree with this take. Men shouldn’t be held responsible for a child if they sign away their rights during the pregnancy. Instead of having unwilling men pay I’d prefer we got universal health care, tuition free college, expanded SNAP benefits, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:56 PM
1

Nope. There is no way to “deserve” sex. No one is worthy or unworthy of a relationship. No one is entitled to one. A relationship cannot be earned. It is entered freely by two people who neither are worthy or unworthy of it. Worth has nothing to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 11:22 AM
2

I don’t “give it up” to anyone. I enjoy the experience of sex with men. No one is giving anything up. Sex and love aren’t operating on a meritocracy. There is not such thing as deserving or not deserving love or sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:59 AM
1

Women can also easily feel interest in a man who ignores her. Ever heard of a crush? Those are usually unrequited. They are especially common in the young. Millions of high school girls right now are pining for some boy who doesn’t like them back.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:42 AM
1

The attention makes them more attracted though. Men like available sex partners and will pay more attention to women who signal availability (like through giving the man attention). Men love attention from women they consider decent enough looking. For women the man also has to be decent enough looking. You know the trope “he’s only a creep if he’s not attractive.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:40 AM
3

Yeah and vice versa. There are countless more men I would hook up with than men I’d share a life with. Again. This is a really weird misconception. Women have lower standards for hook ups. That’s why they’re just hook ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:27 AM
4

I had never heard of DeCrow. Thank you for mentioning her. I’ve now gone down a rabbit hole about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:25 AM
13

Ruining his life is not valid. I support men not supporting unwanted children. I also support children, so the state should pick up the slack. A lot of people don’t agree with me though and don’t think the state has a duty to support children. Many people are “pro-life” up until birth and then fuck ‘em.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:05 AM
3

Pregnancy is traumatic and painful regardless of survival. Not to mention child rearing is a full time job and children should not be a punishment for sex. They’re human beings and treating them like a punishment doled out to people who have sex is pretty sick and shows a lack of regard for the experiences of children. Why have sex? Sex is a basic human need for most people. It’s one of the most pleasurable things in the world. Condoms break. Birth control isn’t 100 percent effective. You know t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:02 AM
3

As a woman who hooked up a lot while single: no. This is a REALLY weird misconception on this sub. I had much lower standards for hook ups. That’s why I only hooked up with them. They were cute enough and the vibes and chemistry were there. I’d had a couple drinks and so had they. One thing lead to another. Etc. etc. I never cared how intelligent or responsible or interesting they were. They just had to have good vibes and be good looking enough. All my boyfriends had to be handsome in the way I…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:53 AM
4

For the same reason anyone feels something for someone in pain. Pregnancy fucking sucks. It’s life threatening and can be extremely painful. Have you watched live birth especially one with complications? I had to several times in nursing school and it sealed the deal for me not wanting children. I will never forget the screams I heard on the labor and delivery unit. Heard way less screaming during my ER rotation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:45 AM
2

Size matters to me. Girth matters most. I don’t like more than 7 inches and 5 is perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:19 PM
10

I’m on the deadbedrooms sub because I’ve been in two deadbedrooms that were with me wanting sex and my bf suddenly stopped. The women there would disagree with you. Disagree about the cheating too. That’s just a women are wonderful effect thing. Women cheat just to cheat and according to a study (don’t have link) women rate their affair partners as more sexually attractive but less attractive for a relationship. That’s why they cheat and don’t divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:15 PM
1

I mean they had their own places they just worked very, very low paying jobs and had like 75k in student debt for a masters degree they weren’t using. Both of them and they both were artists. I don’t think they were players. I don’t think any of my friends dated players. It’s just women will put up with a lot for a hot musician or artist.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:57 AM
3

I’d say in my friend group and for myself women end up with like the second or third best looking guy we’ve slept with. The best looking guy is usually either something like unemployed, an alcoholic, or abusive. Sometimes all three or something else weird or psychiatric in nature. He gets laid because of his looks but women tend to not want him. The two best looking men I ever dated (conventionally speaking I think my partner now is just as hot, but just going by metrics like height and jawline …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:36 AM
8

I’ve never heard of women either being obsessed or finding the person completely unattractive. I’ve had flings with men I thought were cute or sexy but not handsome in the way I wanted for a LTR. I was still very sexually attracted to those average guys but nowhere near “obsessed” with them. I don’t think I’m unusual. There are levels to attraction. It’s not binary at all with me. Also most women aren’t married to Henry Cavill level men and are attracted to both their husbands and the unattainab…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 11:30 AM
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If she doesn’t care and doesn’t have a desire to change this then pushing it could cause problems. Personally, if my boyfriend couldn’t orgasm from sex, I’d not have continued seeing him. I always orgasm from sex and the times he doesn’t orgasm (usually because we already had sex a couple hours earlier) I find it less fulfilling. So I understand why you care. Maybe this is an incompatibility? If you don’t feel this is a big enough incompatibility perhaps work on changing your thoughts around wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:12 AM
2

Which sub is this?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:29 AM
1

That sounds awful. I like men too much and I don’t want more competition for men tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:47 AM
15

Yeah I don’t get bombarded with overtly sexual messages. Men are generally respectful. I am not saying I’ve never been sent an unsolicited dick pic, but it’s rare. I’ve gotten fewer than 5 I’d say, and that’s out of hundreds of messages. I have had men be weird and emotionally volatile (rant about an ex suddenly or say something weird and bigoted) but that happens in real life just as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:12 AM
17

For the same reason if I give a man attention he’s more likely to be interested in me. People like attention. Were you unaware that being open and available makes people more attractive to each other? This is equally if not more true of men. I rarely flirt with a guy and get a negative reaction. It often causes the man to fixate on me through the night.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:09 AM
7

I had an ex who mentioned he liked going down on his past girlfriend but just didn’t want to do that anymore with anyone. He actually just stopped wanting sex period. Why did he say that to me? Because he was a weird asshole. People say stupid shit in the relationships when they have low emotional intelligence and don’t think about how their actions impact others.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:44 AM
15

The idea in general that men don’t want commitment is trash. The literature shows men push for commitment sooner and fall in love faster than women. Men want commitment as much if not more than women. The reason some women doubt this is because they have experience with men who have dated them and think they can do better. The unfortunate truth is men will date for extended periods of time women they think they can do better than. Women are less likely to do that. So if a woman is dating a man f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:28 AM
1

Yes but even in the beginning it can be the man controlling sex. I’m a first date sex kinda woman and I’ve been turned down a few times by men who then asked me on a second date. I only gave the one example above because we ended up living together so I won’t be accepting the argument that he just didn’t find me attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:48 PM
1

I know you’re being hyperbolic for effect and I take your point, but plenty of men are the gatekeepers of sex inside of relationships. I do understand your point but it’s not the only dynamic. I’ve had a man I later lived (so he did like me obviously) with turn me down for sex on the first date. He said he just didn’t do that. We ended up in a relationship. I’ve been in other relationships where I had to just wait for the man to initiate because if I initiated the answer would be no. Been in a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:45 PM
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I think you’re probably right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:52 AM
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I’m guessing at least in large part, yes. Agreed. What I don’t get is why an asexual person who does like sex so much that it feels like violation (rape) would partner with someone who does like sex? That’s extremely stupid and unless it’s a forced marriage my sympathy is rather limited especially these days now that asexuality is talked about and women can earn their own living much more easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:44 AM
3

Agreed. And the equivalent is plenty of conservative and traditional men expect their wife to work full time for pay outside the home but also do most of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing labor. It benefits them financially to snatch up that opportunity made more possible by feminism. Obligatory mention: Women always worked but often with their husband or in lower paying jobs that allowed women. Turns out men and women like money.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:21 AM
9

I think they spot the contradiction usually but don’t care. It’s just hypocrisy. Or insecurity. Some women think if a man really truly likes you he’d not let you pay, and the thing is that is true with some more traditional men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:15 AM
1

I don’t think this is always it. Plenty of women are dying for a man to give them the princess treatment. They don’t just expect it they crave it because they want to be that desired by the man they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:07 AM
10

Because some of the women these particular men do want to date expect men to pay for dates. It’s that simple. They don’t like losing access to women. They know some women don’t care but some do. They aren’t actually passionate about an egalitarian relationship because if they were they’d be happy to lose access to women wanting princess treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:51 AM
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I don’t quite understand your desire to paint me as needing to “chill out” and all of this a “quirky interest.” All these lols are strange too. More relationships have men wanting more sex. And 45 million American women have a higher sex drive than the average man. These two things exist at the same time. What is your issue exactly with me pointing out that stereotypes have limited applicability? Even more so what is your issue with me pointing out how stereotypes can cause harm? It’s like you’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:07 AM
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Ideally they would but people have mismatched libidos in relationships not uncommonly. Only with the relationship I am in now (and the best on I’ve ever had) did I really seriously screen for libido. Stupidly when young I assumed men would just have a high libido. Big mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:24 AM
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As a woman who has been in a couple dead bedrooms I would never downplay the suffering of sexlessness. Shit sucks and it hurts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:22 AM
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1/3 of women have a higher drive than the average man isn’t the same sentence as 1/3 of women have the same drive as the average man. Why should I assume that top libido women go after top libido men? Men often overstate their libido and the honeymoon period makes frequent sex seem plausible. I’ve been fooled before. The women in the dead bedroom sub have been fooled oftentimes. Now that I’m older and wiser and know how to screen men I’m with a man with a libido that makes him want sex once or m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:10 AM
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Sure. You are one of the men who have higher drives. If it helps you emotionally to know women are pickier than men on average and that on average men have higher sex drives, that’s great. This doesn’t change the fact that in my country alone 45 million women have a higher sex drive than the average man. For some reason men with high drives just can’t understand how many men don’t have super high drives. Why does this upset y’all so much? Women with high sex drives can tell you a lot of men (esp…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:05 AM
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So they entered a sexual relationship with someone they don’t find sexually attractive? Then they are the author of their own problems. I hope those men find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere. The women too. Sounds like a fundamental incompatibly in the relationship. I don’t think it’s healthy to normalize incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:55 AM
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Honest question: why don’t you want to have sex with a man I presume you love and find attractive specifically? And why does it feel like rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:34 AM
–

It’s also normal for healthy men to have a 24 hour refractory period just like it’s normal to have a 30 minute one (though that becomes much more rare over the age of like 35). Some men can get hard for a small time a few hours after sex but can’t stay hard enough for sex or achieve orgasm. Why are you saying “it’s not that deep?” What are you trying to say? My response seems to annoy you. 45 million American women having a higher sex drive than the average man doesn’t mean men don’t on average …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:31 AM
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Are you under the impression I said men don’t on average report higher drives than women? The article I linked said 1/3 of women have a higher drive than the average man not 2/3. 1/3 in my country is still 45 million women. That’s just in America. My point is it’s a lot of women, not most. It also is harmful for some men. I’ve witnessed men experience real emotional distress over their refractory periods. Just like erection dysfunction can cause emotional distress to a man so can having a natura…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:21 AM
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I explained how it can be harmful to some men and women. It isn’t harmful to all people. But a more nuanced take is more helpful. 1/3 of women have a higher sex drive than the average man according to the link below. That’s not a small number of women. “After completing their meta-analysis, Frankenbach and colleagues found that when sex drive is defined as they proposed, men do, on average, have higher sex drives than women. However, there was wide variability in sex drive among both men and wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:02 AM
3

What’s most useful is to speak specifically and not try to push people into little boxes. “After completing their meta-analysis, Frankenbach and colleagues found that when sex drive is defined as they proposed, men do, on average, have higher sex drives than women. However, there was wide variability in sex drive among both men and women. As a result, about a third of the women surveyed indicated a higher sex drive than that of the average man. These results fall in line with other research on g…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:55 AM
9

Feeling raped by consensual sex has nothing to do with mismatched libidos. How does this make any sense to you? The reason people point out stereotypes about libidos are misleading is because so many women have higher drives than the average man and so many men have lower drives than the average woman. The variance is great. I’ve been in a few relationships where my libido far out paced the man and when I was young it made me feel awful. All advice online was “he must be cheating, gay or he does…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:43 AM
1

No I just pretended to be in my car as I fell asleep and once I started drifting I could control the dreams to an extent and was aware I was dreaming. The dreams would start with me suddenly being in my car that I was imagining as I fell asleep.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:03 AM
1

Years ago I was good at it. It was fun but sometimes I’d lose control of the dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 05:55 AM
2

We can only hope more feminists adopt her stance. I think it’s important we spotlight feminists like her who fought for equality for men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:44 PM
1

Agreed wholeheartedly. I have issues with Ruth Bader Ginsburg but she did some good things for men. She and the ACLU’s women’s rights project which she founded. Shamelessly pulled from Google results shitty “ai overview” because I’m a night shifter and late to bed: Social Security "Parent Benefit" (Weinberger v. Wiesenfeld, 1975): Ginsburg represented a widower whose wife died in childbirth. At the time, the government only granted survivor benefits to mothers, denying fathers the same. The Supr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:15 PM
3

The feminism most needed today focuses on material conditions not on trying to be society’s psychologist or trying to make sure no one ever has hurt feelings. Things like affordable childcare (aka relief from unpaid caregiving/labor) would radically change the lives of women (and men). Addressing systemic inequalities beyond lip service is the single most important thing feminists could do in my country right now. The social programs I listed all further equality for women and all people. They w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:53 PM
1

Feminism that is anti-trans, anti-sex work, anti-porn doesn’t align with my beliefs. “Lean in” you just need to do capitalism harder isn’t really something I agree with either. I support feminism that advocates for universal health care, low cost child care, public school providing breakfast and lunch to all kids regardless of income, and tuition free public higher education. Some feminists are essentially libertarians (in the American sense of the word) and I disagree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:45 AM
0

Some woman may find them attractive enough. Most people date people similar to themselves including similarly attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:38 AM
4

Yes, looks are the primary stimulus of initial attraction. This doesn’t make other factors meaningless. I wouldn’t date an anxious man or rude man or one who never laughs. I’ve been on dates with all three types of men and I thought they were attractive but we never progressed beyond a few dates because I was no longer interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:36 AM
0

It’s not meant as an excuse but an explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:34 AM
3

No the woman with the biter doesn’t sound emotionally healthy. I have no idea about other women that rejected you. I’m saying a lot of men and women are not emotionally healthy and aren’t looking for an emotionally healthy partner. That doesn’t mean they don’t have personality preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:05 AM
4

I’m telling you the truth. A lot of women aren’t emotionally healthy themselves and a lot of men and women don’t care about having an emotionally healthy partner. They care about having a fun, exciting or attractive one that makes them feel some feeling they want to feel. Most people I’d argue weren’t raised by two emotionally healthy parents. They go for what is exciting or easy or what relives an old pattern and feels normal to them. This biter may have been fun, funny and charming at times. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:59 AM
6

Oh personality is extremely important in dating. Men just still have to already be attractive to the woman. But once the attraction threshold is met then personality does matter. This text about a biter who told people he could kill them could only be from a woman who isn’t emotionally healthy themselves. Healthy women who aren’t violent themselves wouldn’t date someone like what you described.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:50 AM
6

Which feminist trends are you talking about? What feminist theory have you read? If by feminist trends you mean random women with no published works bitching about men they’ve dated on TikTok, I’d suggest engaging with serious feminist thinkers. While I agree being annoying or abrasive can be offputting to otherwise swayable people, it often makes no difference. Trump could suddenly develop humility and his policies would still be revolting to the same people who voted against him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:47 AM
1

It’s well known some men and women care about it. It’s also well known people like to make assumptions that end up being false. What I didn’t say was that it’s necessarily true someone who’s slept with 300 people engages in risky sex, has addiction issues or mania. I said a lot of people would think they do. Thinking someone doesn’t use condoms or might have mania doesn’t make those statements true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:40 PM
1

Most women don’t want to marry a man who has had sex with 300 women or performed in porn either. That’s an extremely high number for anyone. Most people would think that person engages in risky behavior or mental health issues (mania, addiction, etc). You’re talking in extremes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:16 PM
2

We didn’t evolve as farmers. We evolved as hunter-gatherers who were nomadic. Women on a primal level are attracted to what was healthy during 95% of human history. Modernity is a footnote. We’ve been around 300,000 ish years and only have been farming for 11,000 years. The idea that facial attractiveness doesn’t matter is odd. If competition was low due to number of people or because all men produced about the same amount (you don’t explain why it’s low) then it was low for women as well. So th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:36 PM
1

I don’t think it’s wrong to pay for sex. I’d look down on a man who paid for sex with a person who clearly has an abusive pimp, but many online escorts aren’t working for a pimp; they are working for themselves. Lying with the intent to get something out of a relationship is unethical. So the lying is worse. That being said would I date a man who paid for sex? Maybe if it was once when he was very young. But if it was more than once, no. Not because I think it’s wrong but because I don’t want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:31 PM
–

Who he is attracted me at first. His looks, kindness, playfulness, calm attitude, etc. What made me fall in love was how I feel around him. My whole nervous system relaxes. He’s just so loving and laid back.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:23 PM
2

Visual cues of usefulness (aka health, ideal body shape and size) are visually attractive. It means broad shoulders, narrow waist, firm and muscular butt, long and muscular limbs, low body fat, healthy skin, healthy teeth and thick, healthy hair. Basically be young, fit and tall. Men aren’t less attractive than women. You just don’t find the male form attractive. Straight women do find men with bodies like the statue of David attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:19 PM
2

You cry and have no idea why? That’s frightening tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:52 PM
1

Do you feel crazy as woman? It always interests me when women say this because I don’t ever feel crazy. The implication seems to be my hormones would make me crazy, but they do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:54 PM
3

Men have more consumer debt. Do they save more but also have more debt?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:49 AM
1

Well they don’t protect and provide for their wives with terminal illnesses at the same rate women do for their terminal husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 03:13 PM
2

Usually Medicare/medicaid/VA benefits and social security is paying by the time they’re in the ICU or nursing homes in the USA.of course sometimes a full month isn’t covered for whatever reason and family has to chip in. I can’t tell you who does that usually. Protecting and providing for parents in nursing homes would include showing up and checking on them. Abuse and neglect is rampant in nursing homes and it’s a well reported problem in the media. The daughters also bring them the snack they …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:58 AM
3

As a nurse I can tell you the daughter/s is/are far more likely to advocate for aging parents and that includes protecting and providing for them. It’s very rarely the son/s. Sometimes if the son is a health care professional they’ll get involved but honestly that’s like 50 percent of the time just a way for them to feel smarter than the medical staff at the hospital or care home and point out how we’re doing everything wrong and he would know because he’s a fill in the blank. I’ve worked ICU an…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:03 AM
9

Same as how it has been as a woman. A few long term monogamous relationships. In between those monogamous relationships lots of hooking up and FWB. My boyfriend has a similar background to mine though he hooked up even more I think and did a lot more experimental kinky stuff. I was more of a have three different FWBs for a few months and maybe a couple one night stands before I get back in a relationship kinda gal. My bf didn’t really do FWB so he had a lot more one night stands and short flings…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:30 AM
13

I’ve never had a man protect me. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be protected from? Living in modern America I don’t ever require protection. I go out alone at night all the time and am fine. Everyone knows what neighborhoods are best avoided by men and women. Being a tall, muscular man won’t stop a bullet. I don’t care about being provided for. But I make more money than most people. I find women from lower socioeconomic classes more openly care about this. Maybe because they’re afraid …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:18 AM
9

Unscientific drivel.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/26 10:06 PM
3

Your dad sounds awesome lol. And a widow rizzing a man up at the casino? You know she’s a baddie.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:49 AM
1

You don’t explain why these women can’t be honest in an anonymous setting. Do you think they all have pimps and those pimps were in the room with them? You aren’t giving evidence for this assertion. If money is their motivation then not sure how you think they aren’t even getting minimum wage. If the operation is hidden away then it is illegal by definition and needs to be reported and shut down.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:35 AM
24

People can be lonely in a crowded room. Lonely doesn’t mean alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:10 AM
1

Money is why almost everyone wants to work any job. You think it’s special as a motivation because you have an issue with sex work. You think it’s somehow more negative in whatever way than being a sanitation worker or a maid or an oil rig worker or the dishwasher at Olive Garden. It has a low barrier of entry and pays higher than McDonald’s, so it is a way out of poverty for some people. I’d prefer addressing the societal failing of poverty to demonizing sex work. You don’t at all know that in …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:05 AM
1

This is only a survey of 176 women in the industry but it’s the first survey I can find. Money, sex, attention and fun are the top reasons. Less than 1% said coercion was the reason. Reasons for Getting Into Porn Money: 53 percent Sex: 27 percent Attention: 16 percent Fun: 11 percent https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/homo-consumericus/201405/why-do-women-become-porn-actresses Have a good night. The current study used a discovery-oriented qualitative methodology to examine the responses of …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:24 AM
1

Why is acting bad? Humans like watching stories and actors. Even telling a story around a campfire is a form of acting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:58 AM
1

People don’t usually enjoy things they are not consenting to. Most people don’t enjoy getting raped so we can safely say that’s not what is being referred to here. Conflating all consensual sex work with non-consensual human trafficking is harmful. Also, not all porn involves sex workers. Many people enjoy creating it as a hobby or kink. You’re assuming they will regret it later probably because you don’t relate to people who like exhibitionism or are neutral about sex work. This is paternalism.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 08:56 AM
0

Agree that patriarchal religion (and purity culture) is a big part of the root of our problems. Enjoying graphic depictions of sex performed by consenting adults isn’t the problem. Pathologizing normal sexual behavior is just an extension of purity culture. As for nurses being abused being rooted in misogyny. Absolutely, some of it is probably that. But interns and residents (physicians in their first few years of practice) are routinely abused as well. They’re basically hazed and subject to bru…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 07:31 AM
0

Trump isn’t uniquely evil. America isn’t different now because of Trump so much as Trump was elected because of how America has always been. Before porn was available America voted for slavery and the systemic genocide of native Americans including biological warfare against them. Slaves and native Americans were regularly sexually assaulted and raped, including the children. America is better than it was in the past. Massively so. Again, you just want to blame porn. Plenty of porn is produced e…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 06:38 AM
0

Again. I’ve been “pimped out” more by hospitals as a nurse than as a sex worker. And American insurance companies and private equity bought hospitals are probably more evil than most illegal organized crime. I don’t think hospitals are inherently bad or exploitative though just like stripping and porn isn’t inherently bad or exploitative. Exploitation under capitalism is a huge issue that isn’t isolated to porn or sex work. After Deen was accused by the first accuser he was dropped by many. Kink…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:53 AM
1

How is it unethical and harmful if everyone enjoys it?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:30 AM
0

Not ignoring it. I’m saying porn isn’t the issue. Exploitation is. Just like in every industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:24 AM
1

Nah I’m a die hard Marxist who cares about worker exploitation. I just know as a former sex worker and a current nurse that I’ve been abused physically, sexually, economically and emotionally far more as a nurse at a public hospital than I ever was as a sex worker. Worker exploitation is the problem. Not people liking fucking or watching fucking. No one ever threatened to kill me on the job as a sex worker or screamed at me for not risking my back because I waiting on a hoyer lift for a morbidly…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:14 AM
1

Nope. Nerdy men usually enjoy knowing a lot about the things they like. So if they like performing oral sex they tend to be outstanding. I speak from personal experience. Bring on the nerds.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:01 AM
9

Because I lust after attractive men. My lust requires attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:58 AM
1

It’s puritanical to dislike other people (who are none of your business) enjoying watching sex. No one cares what you want to do. Why are you against people doing what they like to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:54 AM
1

Thinking porn needs to be regulated isn’t anti-porn though. It’s pro-regulation. You call yourself anti-porn. So yeah. I’m going to assume you’re against people enjoying watching sex which is puritanical.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:45 AM
0

Strippers aren’t being pimped. Get a grip. I’ve been an actual sex worker and I don’t appreciate other women telling me what my experience must have been like. I’ve been abused as a nurse at a public hospital plenty, but never was as a sex worker. So only a few speak out according to you? Is it perhaps because while some have been abused many have a positive experience? And yes I know who James Deen is. He was usually women’s favorite porn actor about 15 years ago. Now it’s Small Hands and Owen …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:39 AM
1

Oh for sure. It’s not my kink, but in my experience a lot of cnc is for the woman, not the man. It’s a way for women to be pillow princesses. A way for men to do basically all the work and the woman to get to turn her brain off and not have to feel guilt about sex and for her to feel the man has an overwhelming extreme desire for her. It’s also a way for a woman to get everything she wants without the indignity of having to ask for it. There’s a certain type of non-kinky person who doesn’t quite…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:28 AM
1

In my experience anti-porn people refuse to believe plenty of people like making porn. This usually stems from an anti-sex attitude and a general infantilization of women. It’s almost always Puritanism dressed up as feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:19 AM
2

“Nobody seems.” Evidence? Angela White (who has a degree in gender studies and was the most searched porn star at one point when she was like 40 years old) clearly does like it. Let’s not infantalize grown and educated women. considering you don’t care about individual sex worker experiences (like mine) you’re just basing this on speculation. Unless you have a study showing very few porn performers either enjoy or are neutral about their work, you’re guessing. And why would porn not be a safe sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:08 PM
2

But you agree plenty of people do enjoy being in porn and/or releasing their own porn even for free? And many people also just feel as neutral about it as a bartender and view it as a job that pays an agreeable amount. Plenty of people don’t find sex degrading and even enjoy performing sex for others. Plenty of people literally get off to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 04:55 PM
5

So me enjoying feeling objectified during sex with my partners sometimes in your opinion causes me to …. Treat others as objects? I understand the point you’re trying to make but this just isn’t true. It’s like saying if someone is into rough sex that means they’ll be rough with people outside of sex. I’ve had extremely rough sex and never hit anyone in my life. This is a huge assumption on your part. I could see there being a correlation maybe at times but that doesn’t mean suddenly people into…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:21 PM
4

If my boyfriend enjoys me objectifying him sometimes during sex how exactly is he being intrinsically harmed?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 01:00 PM
2

There are incidents of objectification some people experience as positive. If you want to tell those people they are bad for enjoying being objectified, that’s your right.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:58 PM
-2

I’m glad you get it. And some forms of objectification are fun for everyone involved. I get that’s too nuanced for PPD though. I always say as long as people’s subjectivity isn’t denied, some consensual objectification is fun. Maybe these women would enjoy porn and sex more if they engaged in some light objectification of men. And I seriously doubt my boyfriend cares if I just think about his dick or arms sometimes. If anything he’s flattered.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:48 PM
1

You didn’t answer the question. Do you think women who want to release their own porn are behaving unethically? exhibitionism isn’t an uncommon kink. You may think it is, but it’s not at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:43 PM
6

Depends on the objectification and how the participants think about it and what they desire. There are many types of objectification and that pickmeisha whose work in objectification is what most feminists reference comes from the philosophy departments at Princeton and the University of Chicago. She’s an amazing thinker and writer. Some people enjoy being reduced to a body part temporarily. Or being reduced to their appearance. Being treated as a tool can be a normal part of a job or fun. By th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:36 PM
2

Lots of men and women love objectifying themselves. The feminist philosopher Martha Nussbaum (whose work on theories of objectification is what is usually cited by feminists) writes very persuasively that objectification in some forms can be a positive experience. I think as long as we don’t deny someone’s subjectivity some aspects and forms of objectification are not inherently negative and can indeed be experienced as positive. “More recently, some thinkers, such as Martha Nussbaum, have chall…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:26 PM
1

Women at home making their own porn because they get off on it and releasing it are behaving unethically in your view?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:22 PM
5

Sure I can agree there is some misandry but it tends to necessarily be coupled with an anti-sex attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:21 PM
7

Absolutely. I’ve been called a pick-me and a porn addict by women countless times just for saying I really enjoy porn and it improves my sexual life. I just had a woman on here tell me she doesn’t believe if ethical porn were possible to make anyone would make it. The infantilization and de-sexualizaiton of women is so intense it boggles my mind. They don’t give other women agency; it’s so deeply bizarre. Women and all types of people enthusiastically make porn every single days. Tons of it. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:16 PM
1

But people DO enthusiastically sign up to make ethical porn all the time. Amateur couples and solo individuals do it every single day in huge amounts. You thinking they wouldn’t doesn’t matter because they do. You’re projecting your own feelings onto other people, especially other women with agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:10 PM
0

We should listen to the experiences of performers and ex-performers. Plenty of performers like their job and are outspoken feminists. I’ve worked jobs where I was screwed over. I wouldn’t say everyone with the title of bartender or nurse is being mistreated, thought plenty are. Especially nurses. We are often expected to accept punches, kicks, death threats (literally from gang bangers treated for gun shot wounds) and endure endless sexual harassment. But that’s a company culture problem, not an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:46 AM
1

Do you also not believe sex workers who tell the public they aren’t abused in their job? I was a sex worker many years ago and my experience was great, but condescending moralists would insist I must just be lying. You’re comparing watching porn to masturbating to child slavery? Jesus. My point is people enjoy tasting chocolate, a luxury item they don’t need whose production often involves child slavery. People like you get on Reddit likely on smart phones made by exploited people in nations wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:40 AM
4

That’s a good boy. Personally I tap out after 3 or 4 usually from oral. But for a decently long session as you call it ten is possible. Some porn does show cunnilingus portrayed in a dumb way that’s more about the visual of the tongue, but I’ve seen portrayals of really enjoyable looking cunnilingus.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:10 AM
3

Plenty of women are exhibitionists and enjoy releasing porn of themselves solo or with their partners. Let’s not infantilize women. Plenty of us just enjoy this sort of thing. When it isn’t consensual it’s horrible and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law but plenty of people just like making porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:08 AM
0

Citation that most porn actors experience rape in their careers? I follow plenty of feminist porn actors and I highly doubt they’d not speak up about rape in their career. Junk food, pot, Reddit and alcohol can be incredibly addictive but don’t have to be. I’m not looking to snatch diabetes causing chocolate or glasses of red wine out of people’s hands. Not to mention literal child slavery is involved in a great deal of the chocolate production process and exploited workers are known to be a sad…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:04 AM
1

I like watching actors in romance movies too. People like watching actors. I fail to see the problem. And I agree with the other user erotica (written smut) is often way more distorted than porn. So are plenty of romance novels and movies. I mean why can’t my boyfriend be like and look like Caleb Landry Jones pining for me as Dracula for literal centuries, searching the entire globe for my reincarnation and then killing a bunch of bad men to protect me?! That movie was so bad and also so, so goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:49 AM
1

I’m not decentering my pleasure. Quite the opposite I’m doing what works to have multiple orgasms easily every time. I don’t really think about how I look during the act at all, but the idea of how the act looks itself can turn me on. I think about how the male form looks mostly. I have little interest in the female form outside thinking about cunnilingus. I do not think the point of sex is to look good. But looking at visually arousing things makes sex feel even better. I’m not sure why you don…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:35 AM
4

Good sex positions for me are exciting and feel good. The way the position looks can sometimes be part of the turn on. My boyfriend knows sometimes I have flashes of bodies performing sex acts. It turns me on when all I can see is the ceiling. Sometimes during missionary I like to fantasize about blowjobs. If he told me he sometimes thought of cunnilingus as an image during missionary I wouldn’t care. Actually it kinda would turn me on if he was thinking about that. I love a man who loves giving…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:22 AM
0

Of course I do. Lots of interesting positions I never thought about until watching porn. The porn I generally watch doesn’t distort sex or not feature enthusiastic consent, though I’m aware cnc and bdsm porn genres are more popular with women than men. Just not my bag but I don’t think women who enjoy that should be ashamed. Another way porn helps is it gives me some extremely arousing visuals I can pull from my memory randomly for a few seconds to hasten orgasm if we’re going for a quickie. Sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:06 AM
3

How is it anti-sex? It improves my sex life by giving me ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:19 AM
10

It’s more just anti-sex. They hate when women like me enjoy porn just as much if not more than they hate men enjoying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:18 AM
6

This is a conspiracy theory. Women were working in the workforce for less pay long before they could vote.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:01 AM
1

Source for what? That money and property are relatively newer social constructs that we didn’t evolve alongside of? That age, fitness and health are related? That male apes challenge older aging male apes over dominance in the hierarchy? That men challenge older men for dominance in the social hierarchy? Which blindingly obvious claim would you like a citation for? Do you want to prove money also didn’t always exist? Which claim do you dispute?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:55 AM
3

We didn’t evolve with stored wealth being a reality. We couldn’t even store food for long. You ate what you very recently secured or you died of foodborne illness. Wealth was health. Health is tied to youth especially before modern medicine. If we look at our closest relatives, older male apes lose their status in the hierarchy. Younger, stronger males inevitably challenge the status of aging males. Female ape hierarchies are comparatively stable. Male dominance in the hierarchy is directly tied…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:47 AM
5

Conservatives? People who love traditional gender roles? I notice they seem to think men just want sex all the time which, unfortunately for high libido women like me, they do not. I
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:34 AM
4

Yeah 50 year old men were still unable to compete with 20 year old men. It’s well understood that before farming there were less simple sugars in our diet. People still died from dental issues or minor cuts or respiratory viruses we survive now. The older the person the worse the recovery and the more likely a cut or virus will kill you. Was true then and is true now. Honestly as an ICU nurse I’m shocked at how much better a 22 year old does in recovery compared to a 35 year old. It’s truly humb…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:25 AM
1

Yes. There was less readily sugars but people still ate fruit. We can read first hand accounts of how ancient people dealt with tooth pain and tooth extractions. It was a real problem. But we didn’t even evolve in ancient times. We evolved even before that, when humans died from tooth abscesses and we didn’t have the tools to remove teeth easily. It’s true they didn’t often die until their 50s or even 60s if they survived childhood. Have you seen 50 year old men? They can’t compete with 20 year …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:16 AM
5

Without modern medicine, nutrition and hygiene 40 year olds thousands of years ago had knees and backs and teeth shot to shit. They were in the sun all day and would have looked way older than we think of 40 year olds looking now. I didn’t say they were all dead by 40. I’m saying they weren’t attractive for first time partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:06 AM
16

It isn’t though. If it were every time drunk people fuck there would be a police investigation. In practice drunk people fuck all the time and no one thinks it’s assault. If one person is black out drunk and the other person is sober, that’s when people rightly point out that a blacked out person can’t give consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:45 AM
5

This assumes men always took care specifically of a woman they helped get pregnant. Humans are a cooperative species that doesn’t appear to be naturally monogamous though. If we look at apes, gorilla males help with all children and have no idea about paternity. Gorilla females aren’t monogamous. Chimp males are involved with offspring (though apparently less than male gorillas) and female chimps are also not monogamous. I think modern humans assume a lot about our ancestors. But humans didn’t e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:36 AM
–

This can’t be a real opinion. Most straight men love eating pussy. Has nothing to do with dick size. Agreed this must be rage bait.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:02 AM
1

Women blame PMS for normal mood fluctuations. Maybe you didn’t yell at your boyfriend because of PMS. Maybe he’s just an asshole you aren’t sexually attracted to anymore. Most men aren’t bad in bed. Women who complain of this are actually bad in bed but project it onto men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 01:27 AM
4

Family? No. Friends? No. But once in the past my friend didn’t like a boyfriend of mine and I took that seriously. He did end up being controlling and she was right in noticing the beginning of that behavior. If she didn’t like my partner now I’d reflect on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:51 PM
2

I respect women who have really conventionally handsome lovers. I’m envious of them too but not in a begrudging way. That’s not as easy to pull as average men make out. Is it easy for an average woman to have average men as lovers? Yeah. Was it easy for me to have above average but not knockout handsome men as lovers over the years? Eh it wasn’t difficult but being fun and good in bed are skills. It was work, but not difficult work. But I’m an ICU nurse so my idea of difficult work is kinda high…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:48 PM
3

Sure men are also more likely to lower their standards. That doesn’t make it impressive. It’s all still just sex. Having sex with someone you’re attracted to is one of the most pleasurable things on the planet. It’s also relatively easy for me to buy a cheeseburger and enjoy it. It’s easy for me to have friends and enjoy that. It’s easy for me to have a dog and I enjoy that. Shaming people for enjoying life is fucking weird. Something else is going on because there is nothing wrong with enjoying…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:25 PM
1

If a man I was with watched Asian porn do you think I should be concerned since I’m white? Just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:17 PM
1

But other races would be ok to you for her to cum Over?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:12 PM
1

So if she watched Asian porn and you weren’t Asian you’d dislike that? And I don’t really watch certain races. That’s not a fetish of mine. Plenty of gangbangs are Asian or white men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:04 PM
1

Oh a man uncomfortable with his girlfriend watching porn. Interesting. I like MMF and gangbang because there are more men and I like looking at men and how they have sex. I guess you assume your girlfriend would want to have a gang bang. Do you only watch porn of one man and one woman always?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:56 PM
1

It costs 20 bucks. Answer the question: did you pay 20 bucks? Or are you linking a study you didn’t read?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:53 PM
2

I watch gay porn and MMF and gangbangs. Also a lot of large cumshot porn which he could do but doesn’t enjoy not orgasming inside of me. I’m saying he’s not jealous. He understands fantasy. He’s had 2 threesomes with women and he said it just felt like work because he was so focused on them enjoying themselves. I’m not jealous of his real experiences and he’s not jealous of my porn. I’ve never had a threesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:52 PM
1

Not spending 20 bucks. I read in entirety what was linked and I clicked for the full article and read all of what was linked and it was not explained at all. If you paid 20 bucks to continue reading, please share.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:50 PM
2

He knows I’m not looking for MMF threesomes of gangbangs. Pretty sure he’s not jealous of gay men. He only watches lesbian porn which I think is unappealing because women’s bodies are unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:49 PM
1

I read what was linked in its entirety which is how I know you’re lying. Unless you spent 20 bucks or have subscription of some kind. In which case please share because no explanation is given.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:47 PM
1

You’re making my point that it doesn’t explain it and if you read the study you’d know that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:43 PM
3

Different women. I watch porn all the time. My boyfriend rarely does probably because we have sex so often and men don’t have unlimited orgasms like women. I have no problem with men watching porn because I really like porn and it gives me ideas for real sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:39 PM
3

I said yes. It was the first word.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:37 PM
2

Yes. And I’m aware of what he watches though it’s very occasional. He said in his 20s he watched it a lot but for the past few years it only was something he would do maybe once every week or two weeks. He once told me he hadn’t watched it in four months which shocked me but we also have sex all the time. I have unlimited orgasms; he as a man doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:34 PM
1

You already quoted it at me. Now quote the part where it explains how it adjusted for what they knew would be biased self-reporting. Because again, it was self-reporting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:32 PM
3

Nah my partner occasionally watches free porn. I watch WAY more porn than him. I watch it usually every day. He has no reason to lie to me. I pay for porn sometimes and he knows this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:17 AM
5

I have had a lot of casual sex in the past and I didn’t find men didn’t care about my pleasure. Most wanted to go down on me for a long time. Just my experience. But then again I’ve realized I have a good filter on men. If they seem selfish in anyway when we meet I’m not attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:48 AM
11

I’ve known plenty of men who are slutty. Men who aren’t toads can get casual sex if they have social skills. Many (but not all) of the ones who do significantly lower their standards. It’s not an accomplishment to lower your standards. Women tend to maintain their standards with causal sex or even raise them. That’s much more admirable than ignoring that you don’t find the other person attractive but plow through anyway just because. Plenty of average men go home with women from bars. I’ve been …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:35 AM
7

You have to willfully abandon reason to be a religious fundamentalist. Not be stupid. No. You choose to abandon reason and critical thinking. Anyone who supports Trump is comfortable with living in a delusion. He lies to his followers without remorse. So yeah. Defects. If they aren’t delusional they’re classists or racists or sexists and if they’re not that they’re terrified of the world. Defective.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:09 AM
3

I’m so sorry. Fuck those guys. I meant to say my experience is NOT comparable btw
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:00 AM
5

I’m including men I’ve been with for years. I’ve been with my current partner for years. I’ve had a few several year long relationships. My man mentioned once after we’d been together a long time he’s had sex with probably a hundred women but never asked me the question. Men who care about body count usually just ain’t in on the count. Or they’re insecure in other ways. Or are extremely religious. Or conservative or some other mental defect.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:58 AM
4

Oh shit. I’m sorry. Yeah I could see that. I know this is not comparable in terms of impact or scale, but I’m a redhead and I’ve had men in bars tell me “I’ve never slept with a redhead and always wanted to!” Like wtf dude. Did you think that line would work on me? Even have gotten the whole “does the carpet match the drapes?!” Question from random men at bars. Maybe they speak that way to brunettes but in other ways, but I’ve often felt singled out for my hair color.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:56 AM
6

How? How do you see through her lies lol To be fair no man has ever asked me about my sexual history. I’m shocked people say men do this in real life. Even the old school Southern men I dated who sent me flowers and picked me up and paid for everything never asked me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:50 AM
4

Huh. I’ve never been to a sex club but all my FWBs and ONS were always super nice and respectful toward me. If it’s not traumatic to recall: what did they say and do that was misogynistic? Was it men you met at sex clubs? Or like FWB?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:48 AM
2

To be fair I’ve had sex with probably over 50 men mostly casual and none ever spoke misogynistically toward me. I was always treated very well. Can’t say I’ve been to a sex club though. My experience with causal sex was usually that the man kinda wanted the girlfriend experience actually. Hang out a lot. Cuddle. Go to movies and restaurants. Have lots of sex. But no talk of feelings usually and obviously neither of us wanted commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:46 AM
8

Men don’t innately not want women who have sex with many men. Most of my partners were aware I have causal sex especially since that’s how we met. But I have relationships with the type of men who easily get casual sex and have a lot of it: aka socially and sexually liberal, attractive and charismatic men. Men who care about body count typically ain’t in on the count. Some also just think sex is kinda gross and some are paranoid about being cheated on (which is insecurity).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:44 AM
8

Most cultures also gay bash. But sure, men have motive because men don’t know paternity. Women have motive to be promiscuous so all men think a child could be theirs. Supposedly this is why scientists think male gorillas are exceptionally involved with childcare even though female gorillas have many mates. But anyway cultures without slut shaming:the mosuo, the !Kung, the yanomami, and probably more. The Mosuo with their walking marriages are the most famous.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:40 AM
14

Of course. It works on women who believe it is wrong or shameful to be sexually active with whoever she wants (within ethical reason). It doesn’t work on me because I sincerely don’t think it’s wrong or shameful. Telling me I’ve had sex with too many men is like telling me I’ve read too many books. I just think the person is stupid. As a result I’m one of those women who orgasms every time from penetration and I genuinely believe me not feeling any shame about be incredibly sexual and watching p…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:35 AM
2

Well that will filter our women with self esteem. It’s a good tactic, honestly. Like how predators look for compliant people who ignore their own comfort. I eventually learned social norms in college, but even before college I knew that it was tacky to ask for a drink. I’ve never even asked a man on a date: I just made it clear by my behavior I might say yes if he asked.. I just expect men to buy me drinks. But I’m realizing maybe I act and dress like the type of woman who expects that which als…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:47 AM
1

Nah it’s ghetto. Just like bragging about a man buying your nails or hair. If he buys you a boat or property brag if you want. Obviously they don’t need a drink. They aren’t shit testing you dude they’re just not socially savvy. But I grew up upper middle class and went to boarding school and all that so this may be a social class thing. It’s what my wealthy grandmother (who paid for my elite boarding school) would call “tacky.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:33 AM
1

I mean 6’5 is the perfect height but I’ve only dated one 6’5 man. I find plenty of average sized men hot. Just need low body fat, some muscles definition, and long or longish hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:27 AM
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Ew. I’d never ask a man to buy me a drink. Seems (and pardon the phrase but it’s what comes to mind) ghetto. Kinda desperate too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:20 AM
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Men usually buy me a drink or offer me a cigarette. I only smoke when men offered me cigarettes because I knew they were trying to get me outside which means get me to walk to where they stay or go to their car. Of course they don’t say that but that’s what’s usually happening and I learned to go with the flow to make it more fun. I’m surprised you never bought a woman a drink.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:16 AM
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What do you mean what’s the fun in that? When men approach me we do banter. The young man who asked to kiss me didn’t ask me that until we’d talked for almost thirty minutes. The last one night stand I had before becoming exclusive with my partner was in a crowded bar in London and a young Irish man came up to me and said “god please tell me you aren’t American why is this place full of Americans?” Of course we laughed because turns out I am an American and chatted back and forth for a time and …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:13 AM
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Nah. When I was single I was a solid 7 with at time a 7.5 body. I was considered hot. Going to bars alone as a woman is the way to go. I always had at least 2 men approach me per bar and buy me drinks. Even at now 40 I’d say I get approached by a man 75 percent of the time I’m at a bar alone (which is weekly while I’m in town and nightly when I travel which is a week every month with my job). Last time I was at a bar alone a handsome young man asked to kiss me. Also if I’m out with my friends I’…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:08 AM
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Exactly. It’s odd behavior and odd, socially unacceptable behavior creeps people out. If I was operating in a subculture where that was ok I might have had some luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:57 AM
3

The issue is there is no agreement among feminists as to what a feminist is. Some civil rights leaders genuinely hated white people (and were misogynists). They still were civil rights leaders. So a woman who hates men could call themselves a feminist. Anyone can. There is no licensure exam for the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:55 AM
2

Probably not women who have a problem with gay men. Also a lot of people believe bi women really prefer men and bi men are really just gay. That makes it hard for some women. Basically society assumes attraction to men takes precedence no matter what. It’s bullshit but it’s something a lot of people believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:18 AM
1

Probably not women who have a problem with gay men. Also a lot of people believe bi women really prefer men and bi men are really just gay. That makes it hard for some women. Basically society assumes attraction to men takes precedence no matter what. It’s bullshit but it’s something a lot of people believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:15 AM
2

Like most women of course I do. Sexiest show I’ve seen in ages other than the Interview with the Vampire show.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:10 AM
1

How did they adjust for biased self-reporting? Why can’t you explain?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:10 AM
3

I’d think it was hot if he kissed a guy. I’d prefer he be more attracted to women because I’m selfish like that I guess. But if it made him open to a threesome I’d find it really attractive. Unfortunately my boyfriend is as straight as they come.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:08 AM
1

How did it account for it in its analysis of the SELF REPORTING?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:06 AM
1

How did it account for it? Explain. And you are showing it was self reporting with this quote too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:05 AM
1

You keep hitting me with self reporting even after saying it’s not self reporting. I’ve shown women lie in self reporting and gave a link. You’re funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:55 AM
1

Don’t reply to me again” LOL. Thanks for more self-reporting. I just showed you women lie when self reporting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:53 AM
5

If your female coworker asks you for cunnilingus it is considered inappropriate even if she only asks once.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:44 AM
5

Hello fellow neurodivergent person. In high school I asked a boy for meaningless sex. I actually used that phrase. I was told all boys wanted meaningless sex with basically any decent looking girl. He was scared of me and avoided me. It’s against normal social norms. It creeps people out. I WISH men were like how they pretend to be. But men are actually complex emotional beings who often require romance. Unless they are ugly but why would I want to fuck an ugly guy? I have a vibrator and can wat…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:43 AM
1

So self reporting. Nah. Women just lie. This is well established. If you don’t realize how horny women are it’s either because you are around conservative women or you aren’t sexually very appealing. Women have very high standards regarding looks. I’ll counter with this: The male replies were about the same under each of the three conditions, but for the females the circumstances were crucial. Many women in the first group said they'd never masturbated, never checked out anything X-rated. The wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:37 AM
1

Btw watching porn is popular among women. The majority of women watch porn regularly. I don’t know why men don’t get that when all studies show this. I keep telling y’all women are bigger perverts than men and if you don’t notice this it’s because you either hang around conservative women in denial or you’re not very attractive. Women do tend to be way pickier than men about looks for sexual desire. For resource extraction looks matter little. For pussies getting wet it matters. Studies also sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:35 AM
8

Agreed completely; they were not incompetent. Women always worked hard in all kinds of skilled labor even if they weren’t paid for it. This includes cooking, baking, making and repairing clothes, making baskets and even cleaning back when you had to make all your supplies yourself. Centuries ago families would sent their clothes off to women running laundries because it was such intense work. Women usually worked alongside their husbands in shops and trades etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:44 PM
5

Oh I agree a little shyness can even be charming. A lot of women love when a man is flustered by our mere presence. It’s charming. I don’t care about some men liking lesbians but I doubt they would want to date an actual lesbian since there wouldn’t be sex. Not sure why liking lesbians would be sexist. Biphobia is definitely rooted in some sexist and puritanical ideas coming from anyone. Thanks but my long term partner is younger than me by a few years, never finished college unlike me and makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 08:40 PM
9

Men love competence as well. The idea that men want ditzy women who can’t act like a competent adult ready to solve problems as a mother and wife is pretty misandrist. Some men like a dependent and helpless wife to be the mother of those children, but those men are compensating for something. It isn’t normal to want that for the mother of your offspring because it hurts your chances of your offspring succeeding. And men who are secure find insecure women (aka women who lack confidence) to be exh…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:40 PM
5

There’s a pervasive idea that has some support in evidence that girls also mature faster in brain development. Does that make girls wiser? Probably not. There are people who don’t act with wisdom their entire lives. But girls maturing faster in a general way is pretty widely accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:33 PM
8

Isn’t the explanation usually that women go through puberty about 2 years earlier so maturity wise women and men are about 2 years apart? That’s what I always heard. Boys are behind girls by a couple of years in maturity and that difference carries on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:11 PM
10

You said women date older men as proof of something about patriarchy and differences in the sexes. I’m pointing out that decreases once women aren’t using older men for money anymore. No one considers two years as an “age gap relationship.” A Google search will show you most women have watched porn in the last month and like 33 percent watch it every single week at least once. A lot of women’s introduction to porn is frightening and unpleasant so yeah, more porn focused on female pleasure would …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:53 PM
9

That’s a lot of text so I’ll just point out in every country where women start earning good money age gap relationships plummet except for ones where women are older. Those increase some when women earn enough money to be independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:45 PM
1

I have to add I’m a woman who is a very good dancer. When I went to the clubs in my 20s maybe one man might approach me off the dance floor before I started dancing. Once I had danced a few men came up to me at the bar every time. Rhythm is sexy. It’s a shame kids aren’t taught how to dance in school where I live anymore. Programs keep getting cut
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:35 PM
3

Considering the most likely group to get married are those in the top 20% of income earnings it doesn’t surprise me they, like wine drinkers, live longer. I believe you mentioned education level was supposedly controlled for? I didn’t see you mention income as a confounding factor considered. All and all it makes intuitive sense. Americans with money have health care and an easier life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:13 PM
1

I’ve seen plenty of men get upset when a woman they aren’t even dating doesn’t want to ever have kids or get married. “That’s your purpose though! It’s what you’re made for! Your life will have no meaning!” Turn on Fox News if you can stomach it and they bemoan women wanting to stay child free and not getting married often. Especially the male anchors. Nothing wrong with the cc. I’m happy my partner was on the equivalent one for him in his 20s. The pc I suppose we can call it. Refining your tast…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:07 PM
1

Obviously not in your social circles but they exist. They make a lot of noise online about how feminists have ruined everything and made women not want to get married and have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:20 AM
1

Women saying they don’t care about looks can be a way to think of themselves as less shallow. Just like men saying they don’t care if a woman makes ok money can make a man feel less shallow. Everyone who isn’t looking to financially control a partner prefers a good looking partner who isn’t broke, men included. The studies I linked mentioned that men and women tend to lack introspective awareness about what ends up motivating their behavior. As an example: I can want to eat kale for dinner (it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:26 AM
1

I totally agree women know what is provocative dress. I also know some women dress provocatively and then complain about the attention just for MORE attention. But, additionally: my experience is that I got followed and harassed the most when I was about 13 and wearing jeans and tshirt. By the time I was 20 the harassment was far less, and the biggest determiner of how I was treated walking the streets in the big city I lived in was how dressed up I looked. Yoga pants, tshirt, messy bun and flip…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:07 AM
1

I see cold approaching work in bars all the time. I sometimes wonder if the people who complain about cold approaching being annoying or not working just aren’t hanging out in places where single liberal people hang out. They certainly aren’t hanging out in the type of bars where people are known to hook up. Back in my younger days everyone knew the bars where people did that. Usually there was some guy selling drugs at the end of the bar (doesn’t mean everyone partook), cheap drinks, and the ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:03 AM
2

Women say they care more about income over looks but in reality looks at the primary stimulus of attraction for women. Women (and men) often speak aspirationally about themselves and in ways they think make them sound both good and in line with expected cultural norms. Interestingly, men understate how much they care about a woman’s income. From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romant…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:57 AM
0

For physical and non-physical reasons. Men also tend to feel more attraction when the person is not socially undesirable. They also tend to feel more physical attraction when they feel safe, appreciated, admired, sexually desired, etc. etc. Attraction is largely physically and largely emotional for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:54 AM
3

I was aware it wasn’t a peer reviewed study. It looked to be some sort of article with links to sources. I’ll read what you’ve provided. Thanks for taking the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:05 AM
0

Healthier, less depressed and live longer according to this link. This is just from a quick google search I haven’t looked into this so you may find flaws. https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/should-women-stay-single
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 12:27 AM
1

And there are gay men who watch straight and lesbian porn? You’re talking about outliers. What’s your point? Omegaverse is popular with women but not as popular as dark romance (with a man) and yaoi (boys love). A lot of yaoi is in graphic novels but you will see it more than omegaverse stuff on AO3. Making two straight male characters blow each other seems to be basically the number one genre in AO3. Other really popular genres are incest, gangbanging, cuckolding, etc etc
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 12:18 AM
2

Can you link this study? Is this self reporting? Because women and men lie a great deal in self reports. For instance women claim to not care about looks as much but all behavioral studies and studies specifically designed for determining stated vs revealed actual preferences show the primary stimulus for attraction for women is looks. Women speak about themselves in surveyed aspirationally. So do men. I certainly don’t deny there is a subset of women psychologically adverse to allowing themselv…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 12:09 AM
2

I’ve seen statistics showing single women who never were married live longer than everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:41 PM
1

Most men are overweight. Women desire desirable men a great deal. We desire fewer men is the difference. Women go feral for actually sexually attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:37 PM
2

The overwhelming reason they watched it OVER straight porn is the implication here. So they would rather watch two attractive men actually moaning than an attractive man being silent and an annoyingly loud woman. Wanting people to seem into it doesn’t mean they don’t find the men attractive. It is already a given they find the men attractive. They want to see hot guys enjoy themselves. Women’s number one complaint about porn often is the men are silent. We love hearing men’s moans and most of us…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:32 PM
3

Women desire men plenty, we just are pickier about looks. A hot guy who won’t fuck fat chicks and has higher standards than an ugly guy doesn’t desire women less. He just has higher standards because he can.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:57 PM
2

But from your article just after skimming I saw this: “I’ve always had mmf threesome fantasies. I think I got into it when I was in a phase of threesome porn and I got into bisexual mmf threesome porn and realized I enjoyed watching the men doing sexual things to each other more than when they included the woman!” So you’re cherry picking a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:55 PM
3

“For many women The Established spoke to but didn’t want to be quoted regarding their preference for gay porn, the consensus was that they loved the idea of a man making love to another man’s body, at least in the type of porn they consumed. Natasha, who works in hospitality in Bengaluru, says she enjoys gazing at the beauty of the male body. “I enjoy when the camera lingers on aspects of the male body outside of the genitals, and I want a camera that allows me to see the male face in ecstasy be…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:52 PM
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This is a good take.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:01 AM
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This may be relevant then: The Ben Franklin Effect is a psychological phenomenon in which a person likes someone more after doing them a favor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben\_Franklin\_effect
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 09:06 AM
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Your example doesn’t sound toxic and narcissistic though. You weren’t bullying her. Side note: I find many men like being told what to do (Grab me a straw). It think it makes them feel useful and like they’re getting good boy points. Maybe that’s how she felt too?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 08:22 AM
2

I thought it was more that married men live longer and report being happier. But again we don’t know why. Could be happy and healthy men tend to be more attractive partners for marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 08:19 AM
6

I think this is the answer. Whenever I see a woman pressuring a man to marry on TikTok or other social media they always have children and live together etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:50 AM
9

Young men are more likely than young women to say they want to get married and to have kids in the USA. The male loneliness epidemic is talked about frequently. What you have noticed is a type of sad woman stuck in a shitty relationship with a man who doesn’t like her. Sunk cost fallacy plays a big role too. Edited to add: plus passport bros exist but women don’t try to marry men from economically disadvantaged nations. It’s known that places like Jamaica and Bali and the DR are common destinati…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:30 AM
26

These usually aren’t the same women saying these things. This is like asking why men complain women don’t want to get married and have kids these days but also complain about being pressured into marriage. These aren’t the same men complaining. People have differing complaints. The women who complain about their 8 year relationship with their baby daddy not marrying them tend to have really low self esteem. They don’t think they’re worth anything and the ring becomes a prize to prove they are wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:57 AM
3

You got it. Because it’s very psychologically important for them to believe women aren’t actually attracted to men. When I’ve explained how sexy I find my partners body I’m told by them that actually I just want him to want me. When I mention how sexy certain actors are and how women swoon over them he says we are swooning over the status. When I ask why these actors all happen to be extremely handsome I’m told that women can tell if a man is handsome they just aren’t attracted to the man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:55 AM
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What’s an example of you doing this? What exactly are you saying to women and what do you mean by you got more women? Are you sure it’s not coming across as teasing? When I was single I often flirted with men by teasing them. But, generally speaking, being cocky can be attractive to some people at first. It can read as charisma and can trigger high intensity emotional cycles that can be literally addictive. If you’re asking why negging works on some people, it’s because some people have low self…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:51 AM
3

I don’t know what sub that would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:33 AM
3

Well my favorite interaction was when I asked one of them “how do you explain how popular watching gay porn is with straight women” and I was told those women are probably actually intersex or hormonally men and just don’t know it. Turns out I’m a man!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:32 AM
3

Oh that sub is a trip!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:26 AM
2

It’s simplistic but that’s because it’s a generalization. An accurate one. Love can turn to hate. People change. People grow apart. People betray each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:46 PM
1

If it’s because I didn’t communicate what I want, I’d work on getting more comfortable communicating. I find men tend to get excited and go too fast. I had to get comfortable with giving feedback because some take it as criticism. Kind of like conflating personal responsibility and guilt. They aren’t the same thing. If it’s because I am self conscious about my body, I’d address that with some thought work. If it’s because I am not managing my anxiety very well and I got distracted worrying about…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:44 PM
2

Studies show people who cheat (men and women) usually consider the person they are cheating with more attractive sexually but less attractive as a long term partner. So it’s not for resources that people cheat as you suggest. They cheat because they want to fuck. It’s that simple the vast majority of the time. Most people do cheat at some point in their lives but studies also show that once a cheater not always a cheater. Many people who cheat go on to not cheat in subsequent relationships. So c…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:10 PM
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Of course it is. Ted Danson wears a hair piece and it looks incredible. Men look great in boots with heels too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 07:53 AM
1

Well it’s harder for a lot of women to be aroused if they just have to lie there like a plank. It’s a conundrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:49 AM
3

I don’t know the answer. My boyfriend is somewhat confident but has some insecurities and anxieties. He keeps them controlled though and doesn’t let it affect the relationship much which is what matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:48 AM
2

Hm. Most people have some little insecurities. It’s a problem when those insecurities start affecting a man’s ability to accept love and/or make him controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:34 AM
1

So you can’t stay hard when a woman is on top either?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:33 AM
1

Are they controlling the pace while you stay still? That’s the best way for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:53 AM
2

I just want him to be good looking and not an endless pit of need which is what a lot of insecure women and men are. That and he has to think I’m funny and smart. Perhaps more importantly he has to find my constant desire for novelty, travel, and sex amusing and fun. Many men find it exhausting. I don’t care about confidence. I care about a lack of being an annoying whiny little bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:28 AM
3

I prefer a man who is flustered by my mere presence but also isn’t insecure. But then again, I’m pretty confident so maybe this plays into your generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:22 AM
1

I have no idea why you’d assume that. It feels really good especially when I control it and the man stays still.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 12:49 AM
1

Well if he’s an upstanding guy it’s very possible he only watched porn he truly assessed to his best ability was ethically made porn. It’s totally valid to be anti porn. I personally find it helped my sex life for me to watch porn. But hopefully with the right guy who displays all the best motives and values you can find a man you trust to at least have never engaged with porn in an inherently problematic way. I hope you find that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:37 PM
1

I’ve found men who react negatively to feedback. They were the minority but I’ve definitely encountered such men. I cut them loose and wish them the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:34 PM
1

The OP states “they (the man) are in control of what’s happening.” They don’t have to be. Women can be in control. One way is for the women to get on top, which is a commonplace vanilla sex position. Promoting personal responsibility is not the same as blame. Blame is about fault, punishment and even shame. Personal responsibility is about growth and taking actions toward improvement. It’s very disingenuous to pretend otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:59 PM
2

I agree. Whenever I hear “he can’t find the clitoris!” Uh… take his hand and put it there? You think women just naturally know how to touch penises? We don’t. I had to be shown and told what each guy liked because men are also all different.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:54 PM
9

Googled stats on this. Between 44% and 60% of women watch porn. So I don’t know that most women are creeped out by porn. Some porn, sure. Men are creeped out by some porn as well. For reference apparently like 80% of men watch porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 11:05 AM
1

Whenever a woman does what?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 05:55 AM
2

“Admitting (you mean deciding) that sex is for men and I don’t need to love it or be adventurous to please my husband made me happier.” Just to be clear this is a decision you’ve made because it somehow pleases you. Doing really basic simple things to enjoy sex doesn’t make you happy. You want to not enjoy it. That’s fine, but let’s be clear that’s what’s happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:56 AM
1

Doggy style works for me if I’m in control and the man stays still. I can use my muscles to stimulate myself on a dick but you have to know how to do that as a woman. Pompoir is useful. Unfortunately I will say a lot of men’s minds are blown by this and try to take back control instead of staying still and letting me lead.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:53 AM
2

That’s my impression too. I think it’s a matter of my outlook being different and my thoughts surrounding dating and sex being different. But I get told I’m a misogynist victim blaming women for not enjoying sex. It’s sex. It’s supposed to be enjoyable. The clitoris and gspot are amazing. Multiple orgasms are amazing. Like what isn’t to love?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:09 AM
1

I take your point. But I assume tongues are relatively equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:12 PM
3

Promoting being active isn’t the same as placing blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:11 PM
1

Well reading women on here makes me wonder what I’m doing differently. The only thing about my type I can pinpoint is they are progressive socially always and they have to give me the impression they aren’t performing masculinity for other men. They can be masculine but in an understated way and I want to see some stereotypical femininity in their presentation too. This could be longish hair, nail polish, stylish dress, or just a genuine interest in some feminine coded things. They better think …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:08 PM
1

Thank you for the clarification. Yes, I didn’t mean to imply all asexuals don’t enjoy sex. This is always shocking to me because it’s not like I only go after one type of man (though they have to be progressive socially). I have to shove men off me during oral because I’ve orgasmed so much I’m sensitive. They mostly seem obsessed with it to me. Same with hands if they like using their hands. And again, same with PIV. Usually once they know I can orgasm more than once they’re not satisfied with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:00 PM
2

There’s very sensual porn but I totally get being turned off by a lot of mainstream porn. Hm. I supposed I’d try thinking about what you think about while masturbating. Best of luck to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:41 PM
2

Well 1: if you’re not already aroused and sensitive when sex starts there hasn’t been enough foreplay. I sometimes like quickies and can orgasm but that likely won’t work for you. 2: if I’m not getting close to orgasm and want to speed it up I just have a porn reel in my head I flip to for a few seconds and then get back into the moment. I go back and forth between some porn scene in my head (either imagined by me or something I once saw and liked) and then I come back to the moment. By the time…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:35 PM
3

May I ask what you’re thinking about during foreplay and/or sex? If that’s not prying too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:29 PM
3

Seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:17 PM
2

Well it’s up to you but there’s always hands or mouth or toys. Or all three!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:16 PM
8

We do not. Many of us love sex. It’s my favorite hobby. AND most men are obsessed with pleasing women in bed. It wouldn’t occur to me to stay with a man who wasn’t invested in my enjoyment, but I’ve basically never met a man who wasn’t. I think like 2 out of 50ish. And of the 2 one wasn’t really all that selfish. The other one was pathologically selfish to the point I realized he had serious psych issues surrounding sex. He was obsessed with his penis size (he thought he was too small, he was no…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:15 PM
8

Yes and that’s something between a woman and her health care provider. No one said such a thing was a woman’s fault. You’re making up things to get offended by.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:03 PM
2

So then you don’t have sex now then since you don’t orgasm? This is a really bizarre hang up have and it’s obvious you don’t want to actually allow your husband to help you orgasm. You won’t even let him use his hands. Mouth works even better for a lot of women and of course you don’t want that which is totally valid, but if you take everything off the table and then complain you don’t orgasm it doesn’t make it seem like you actually care about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:02 PM
2

Sure. But not because women can’t orgasm. See: lesbians and their orgasm rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:56 PM
5

Who told you the point is to orgasm during sex? What’s wrong what orgasming during foreplay (which is sex still just not PIV). This is some rule or condition you’ve made up in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:49 PM
3

Most people wouldn’t define having their partner use their hands or mouth on them as a “struggle to look for things that may or may not work” and yet you won’t even do that. Those things are foreplay 101 not some mysterious witchcraft. High schoolers do those things without even thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:39 PM
3

Your experience isn’t mine and it’s not all women’s either. In my experience, men are obsessed with making their sex partner orgasm as many times as possible. And I’ve had more than 50 partners and I’m not even counting the partners I had as a sex worker. Even when I was a sex worker decades ago most clients really wanted me to orgasm. Are men actually telling you “your orgasm your problem?” If a man said that or implied that in my presences they’d never have the pleasure of my company again eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:26 PM
4

You seem to just not do anything that makes you feel good and then you say sex doesn’t feel good. Well, yeah. Of course not. I almost wonder if this is a kink of yours you’re so insistent on not doing anything to let him give you pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:08 PM
6

Women can have multiple orgasms. And what do you mean “what would be the point?” Fun. Fun would be the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:18 PM
5

I say this all the time. When women say they feel like fleshlights I think, why aren’t you taking control then? Pretty sure my boyfriend sometimes could feels like a dildo prop while I ride him but he’s cool with me getting off with his body. I’m cool with him getting off with mine. Probably because we both always get off, and usually me far more than him. Honesty I wouldn’t want to be a man. I’m too used to multiple orgasms. I don’t even relate to women saying a man is bad in bed (unless he fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:17 PM
9

You don’t like the idea of orgasming before sex. So this is a self inflicted issue on your part. And thinking oral sex is submissive? That’s a choice of framing. I’ve had to tap out from oral I was so overwhelmed. I didn’t feel like I was in the powerful position at all. You don’t appear to want to correct the situation. You don’t even want to orgasm before PIV. Because you want it to be “natural?” Again, this is a self-inflicted problem on your part.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:05 PM
3

I agree. I think early extremely bad experiences also can sadly prevent people from having healthy experiences later. They accept terrible behavior as the norm as well as just have limited experience. If you’ve only had a few partners and they mostly were awful and abusive, of course you’ll think this way. I try to be charitable but as often say: I was a wanton slut all through my 20s and parts of my 30s and hearing women talk about men not caring about our pleasure and men pressuring us into se…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:01 PM
4

Why don’t you like the idea of oral? That’s too bad fingering is boring for you. For me it’s a great way to hit the gspot but everyone is different. And again, I say this gently, but oral sex is pretty vanilla and an aversion to it along with being a virgin when you met your husband does point to likelihood that a lot of this is psychological. Most women love getting their clitoris licked and sucked. Some of course don’t it just doesn’t work for them or it’s a sensory thing just like some men do…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:54 AM
3

So you don’t like oral sex or being fingered or PIV. Why don’t you like oral sex or being fingered? Totally valid but what’s the reasons. Sounds like you don’t like any sex acts including ones that focus more on the clitoris and gspot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:45 AM
0

Where is the fun in that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:40 AM
2

It can be stupid. It can also be fun for both parties when there’s a dance of back and forth. Different people like different things. I’ve experienced direct courtship and coy courtship with some chasing. Eh. They both have their advantages. So you’re not wrong. It’s a preference based on your own thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:36 AM
8

You say he’s satisfied with “the main thing.” The “main thing” for you could be what gives YOU pleasure. The main thing doesn’t have to be what gives him pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:33 AM
10

Don’t make me agree with a red pill man… but honestly trauma, purity culture, vaginismus and just terrible partners can also cause this. It’s not necessarily that the woman isn’t straight. But yeah sex is supposed to be pleasurable our bodies are literally made to enjoy the act.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:25 AM
13

I’m sorry you think it’s normal men who push you to do acts you don’t want?! Oh no those are shitty men. I’m a huge slut (well monogamous now, it happens to the best of us) and just as an example, I never was interested in anal. Not one man pressured me for anal after I said I didn’t care to try it. Do I know there are shitty men who do pressure women? Oh of course and far too many. But this isn’t “normal” and please don’t normalize it. “Most men strong enough to pull me off of them, I’m not.” I…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:22 AM
9

I say this gently, but yes I’m sure that isn’t uncommon with the type of women who would only have sex with one man and marry him. This points to a mindset about sex that for many people (but not all) messes with their ability to enjoy sex. I was a slut raised by sex positive parents and I orgasm multiple times like 99 percent of the time, but I’ve never felt an ounce of shame during sex or taking controlling and getting what I want how I want it during sex. I also expect a lot of oral and have …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:05 AM
36

Posts like this really make me wonder sometimes. Purity culture is so bad for everyone involved. They don’t think sex is usually not pleasant. I’m a woman and I can’t remember the last time sex was unpleasant — quite the opposite is my experience. Why is sex unpleasant for you? Men don’t have to be in control of what’s happening. Women can get on top. I don’t know why so many women act like we can’t be in total control of the act. If there is pain, this is an issue. It shouldn’t hurt if properly…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:44 AM
4

I don’t think people pretend male and female gold diggers don’t exist. My mother always told me a lot of men are looking for a “nurse with a purse.” Women online warn other women about “hobo-sexual” men who try to move in with you super soon. We are aware there are women like this too. What is funny is men with no gold acting paranoid about gold diggers when gold diggers wouldn’t be interested in them. Ex whores? That’s pretty inflammatory. I never understood caring about a person’s sexual past …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:02 AM
3

I think I’m not afraid because I have so much experience and my experiences are almost universally good. But I’m pretty good at vetting men and picking up quickly on if a guy is selfish or sexist or an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:42 AM
6

I mean turbulence when it’s really bad gives me anxiety even though I fly all the time and rationally know it’s not dangerous. Fear is more about perception than statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:41 AM
7

I personally am not afraid of men. But I understand the men and women who are. But then that’s why I’ve had tons of causal sex and almost always had an amazing time and sometimes had a boring time. But never a bad time. The women I talk to afraid of men seem to be genuinely afraid of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:31 AM
14

Yes. I have straight male friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:04 PM
1

Post hoc justification is not inductive-first logic. It is creating a rationalization after a decision or event has happened. Post hoc reasoning often misuses induction, but it is at its core motivated reasoning and hindsight rationalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:18 PM
1

You never answered my question or even attempted to. You just keep calling men rational and women intuitive but won’t explain how. Don’t expect me to intuitively know what you mean so you want rationally explain it? Yes I understand the difference between the terms. I agree that on average, for some reason women in our culture tend to be better at reading expressions, body language, and pick up on more details immediately in social situations. Men like to call their intuition “instinct.” When a …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:06 PM
1

Explain how the reasoning isn’t ordered. You’re making a claim but not explaining how the reasoning isn’t ordered. If you don’t know what the reasoning is, then you can’t claim to know it’s not ordered. So, please lay out what you think women’s reasoning is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:59 AM
1

This doesn’t answer the question. In what way is how you say women think less ordered, hierarchical and stepped? Specifically also how is it intuitive and how is men’s thinking less intuitive?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:21 AM
4

Jesus. No. Wtf dude
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:23 PM
4

Agree the Prussian model isn’t great for girls or boys. It was developed for boys to make them a certain kind of man. A better model was developed by a woman: Maria Montessori. Children can move about and the learning is more self directed. No sitting at assigned desks all day. I’d like more of our schools to implement this. Google adoption laws re: single men. In all fifty states single men can adopt. https://creativefamilyconnections.com/us-surrogacy-law-map/ Here’s a map of surrogacy laws. Lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:18 PM
1

Oh no it’s straight porn focusing on men’s huge dicks and huge cumshots. I watch tons of porn. Don’t try to pull this over on me. This post is making fun of the idea that women are secretly lesbians. So I will point out that many men are obsessed with looking at men with bigger dicks than them and also obsessed with watching men cum larger than normal quantities. We can frame this as attraction to dicks since said men are jacking off to this. A lot of “straight” men also talk about how ugly vagi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:06 PM
1

I’d love my own dick too. I love my vagina. I’m talking about certain men’s obsession with other men’s penises.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:59 PM
6

Well run daycares aren’t bad. It teaches socialization. I don’t agree someone must stay home with a child. I agree we as a community need to support all parents with food assistance, affordable daycare (with the help of tax dollars), universal healthcare as well as housing assistance etc where needed. Grandparents and aunts and uncles can serve as great role models. What’s important is the child has a community taking care of them. Single men can adopt children in the USA as well as pay a surrog…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:47 PM
8

Why would this not empower women? If men want to be single dads I think that’s great and I hope they receive all the support from their community they need.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:12 PM
3

Men would enslave women if artificial wombs existed? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:13 PM
3

Don’t forget how obsessed they are with other men’s dicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:47 PM
1

This seems like what a gay man would say.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:46 PM
4

So you believe a motivation for serial killers is once they are caught and imprisoned for life some women will show romantic attraction to them? Usually only if they’re hot of course in which case they could get laid before being imprisoned for life. Before they are caught they keep the murder sprees a secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:37 PM
4

Masturbation occurring over a convicted murderer who will never leave prison and have sex with said masturbaters in your mind is incentivizing serial killers? Seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:13 PM
2

Yes. You get it. It is sexism against femininity (it’s a “downgrade”). It also is about policing men and pressuring them to adhere to strict gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:09 PM
3

So you do think femininity is childlike. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:06 PM
9

I’m not justifying it. It doesn’t need justification. It just is. How is it immoral to masturbate to some random person on the news that is hot? What effect on the material world does that have? Zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:04 PM
8

Yes all the men thirsting after Casey Anthony were immoral … nah I think people just like hot people dude. It’s not complicated. Hot people on tv are gonna have people masturbating to them. We are just apes deep down.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:59 PM
5

What a weird and hateful comment. There’s nothing wrong with liking anime. Interesting you associate effeminate with “baby”ish things. Carry that thought to conclusion and “femininity” is more baby like to you. Which in many ways society does infantilize women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:44 PM
5

No, not inherently.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:42 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:08 PM
2

To start: I don’t have ethical objections to sex work done by consenting adults. To answer the question it’s because most people interpret (rightly or wrongly) these behaviors differently. For many people sex work is heavily associated with sex trafficking, exploitation, coercion and unequal power dynamics. Not all sex workers are experiencing these things, but many are. So knowing someone engaged with that can trigger a lot of discomfort. For others, causal sex isn’t seen as something necessari…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:06 PM
3

This seems to assume women don’t enjoy the experience and that perhaps it is unusual for casual sex partners to treat each other with respect, honesty and care. No one is necessarily being commodified. I’ve had tons of casual sex and FWB. It was exciting, fun, and a learning experience. I was treated very well (but I also vetted men pretty heavily). And of course women and men can be commodified in long term monogamous relationships as well. This is a personality difference among the people havi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:58 PM
1

How is it more rationally processed? What is the rationale. How do women in your process this less rationally? What is women’s rationale that you believe is “irrational?”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:36 PM
5

Assessing risk? It is of no risk to him. Fellows don’t go on to work for the surgeon. Many work independently in outpatient surgery aka their own business. He simply in his mind felt women were unworthy of his teaching. But again we have a disagreement. In my opinion a healthy society doesn’t punish reproduction. It is labor and should be treated as such. Raising kids is also labor which men also do. Labor that is essential to keeping the economy and society running. We get to decide as a societ…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:24 AM
17

No one disagrees that tomboys are accepted and sissy boys are generally not. Tomboys are seen as doing more serious, tough, independent and assertive things so they are rewarded. Sissy boys are seen as lowering themselves from those superior traits and becoming like women; they are weak, dependent and vulnerable (aka: feminine). Now does this amount to misandry? In a way, yes. The contempt directed at men and boys who don’t perform masculinity correctly could be construed that way. It also comes…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:13 AM
6

So you agree there is social value and economic value in fatherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:02 AM
8

How does the man not become a father? It is blindingly obvious a woman cannot ask for literally anything and get it. I know you know this. Doesn’t matter if it’s illegal. It happens and is not a benefit or a good thing. They lose income in the long run because of gaps in their resume as well when applying for new jobs. A lot of that is cultural. In most fields a year off doesn’t make you suddenly not know how to do your job you’ve been trained to do. Also this is a values difference I imagine we…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:00 AM
10

My dad raised me along with my mother (who also worked). Fathers are extremely important. Being a father has social value. People tend to trust fathers more, and associate fatherhood with stability, leadership and maturity. Employers have been shown to favor fathers over child free people in terms of raises and advancement because They are viewed as more reliable and committed. While mothers have the motherhood penalty fathers have the fatherhood premium.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:22 AM
13

Women cannot ask for literally anything and get it. In fact, abuse rates go up during pregnancy and homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. No prizes for guessing who is killing and abusing them. Pregnant women are also abandoned every day. Women have significant loss of income and career advancement because of pregnancy. If pregnancy is such an amazing source of power, why do most women go to great lengths to prevent it? Why does workplace discrimination against mothers exist…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 10:17 AM
13

Because I wouldn’t have to go through the pains of labor. Pregnancy the whole time is rough. I’d love there to be artificial wombs.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:27 AM
48

Artificial wombs would empower women. No pregnancy and labor to deal with!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:50 AM
3

So you’re saying men are more rational and independent in thought in dating? That men don’t like to date women others approve of? In my experience men like it when other people think their wife is a catch. It’s a reflection on them and their status and worth among other men. Culture affects us all. Japanese men rate women’s facial attractiveness differently than Western men because their cultural standards of beauty are different. There was a time when sex worker wore pubic wigs to hide that the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:47 AM
0

You think most men don’t find anything special about their girlfriends? I think most men think their partners are special in some way. I wouldn’t date men if it weren’t for my sex drive. What’s the point? But I don’t get into relationships with men I don’t find special. I’d argue normal men do the same. It’s possible at times you’ve misunderstood the idea that a lot of people wouldn’t date if it weren’t for their sex drive and thought they meant they only date for sex. Men don’t even pay sex wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:14 AM
2

That’s interesting. I can see that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:43 AM
6

Relationships are always optional for both parties. Maybe explore why this bothers you so much. No human being is ever ‘yours.’ Healthy love is two autonomous people continuously choosing each other. Suffering comes less from the possibility that relationships can end (because they can) and more from the thought that if they end, it means something terrible about you. Tying your emotional safety to permanence will always cause suffering because nothing is permanent. That doesn’t mean that monoga…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:00 AM
2

Sure. I live in Mississippi. I’m extremely aware of how much geography, class and culture matter. It’s why I don’t hang out with entire demographics that dominate this backwards state. My point is we can choose who we socialize with. It takes way more effort in some places than others. I sure as fuck miss living in a major northern city. My social life was far, far, far easier to keep vibrant - at first. But I found an extremely progressive church that doesn’t care if you believe in god, joined …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:12 AM
2

Stepmom isn’t niche. It’s one of the top searched terms. Actually other than cuckoldry (which is still wildly popular) none are truly niche. They’re mainstream. In the USA a former secretary of homeland security was in the news when it was revealed her husband is into bimbofication where he dresses as an exaggerated woman with ridiculously huge boobs. That’s absolutely about emotions and power dynamics. There are more men reported to be in the BDSM community than women, and more men report being…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:00 AM
2

The company we keep is often our choice and so is how we present ourselves, and no I don’t just mean manner of dress. I’ve met plenty of misogynists and sexists. I cut them off and don’t allow them in my presence.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:42 AM
4

Yeah I have nothing in common with most frat boys. Environment matters a lot. I went to school in a part of my country that is extremely religious and consecutive while I’m agnostic and a democratic socialist. Shit was rough. I met boyfriends usually through political clubs or online.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:39 AM
1

Estradiol is essential for erections and ejaculation. But it’s even more essential for women’s sex drives which is my whole point. Saying because women have less testosterone means they have lower sex drives doesn’t make sense considering estradiol therapy is essential when treating a woman’s low libido. Testosterone therapy on its own does not raise a woman’s libido. That’s why I said saying women have less testosterone so they have lower drives than men makes as much sense as me saying men hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:33 AM
5

I think we underestimate how much emotional/plot/power dynamics men enjoy in their attraction and overestimate how much women care about this. I don’t think “stepmom” being one of the top searched terms in porn is because most men secretly want to fuck their step moms. I think the power dynamics and taboo at play arouse men. There is a reason sex in public, group sex, bukkake , cuckoldry etc are popular. Humans like there to be something we have to overcome to get sex. We don’t want it to be dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:26 AM
3

I agree with you but I do want to point out if you’re finding you can only attract women with no hobbies, friends or job prospects you might do well to self-reflect on why that is. Is it where you’re meeting women? Is it the type of women you’re attracted to? Is it because you don’t lead with your hobbies or interests? Is it because you don’t meet women through mutual friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:19 AM
4

The last paragraph is something I try to gently say to women and you said it well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:16 AM
6

My dad, boyfriend and male friends definitely like my company and hanging out with me. Maybe you would benefit from getting some male friends. Also a few points: men are like 80 percent of homicide victims. They also are raped at alarming rates especially in prisons where rape culture is practically celebrated by the public. Men are just more violent but women receive less of this violence than other men. Men in general tend to like women and not want to hurt us, even most sexist men. Unfortunat…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:55 AM
3

Well said. Bisexuality is framed as something that emasculates men, but women don’t really have an equivalent punishment for being bi. In fact, if a man says he’s bi many people think he’s really just gay. If a woman says she’s bi many people assume she’s really just straight or at the very least she’s gonna end up with a man because that is what a “real” relationship is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:25 AM
2

My partner is in the strip club business and he has mentioned a surprising number of women in bachelorette parties blow the strippers. Never heard of the women making out, but I guess when dick is there it’s more appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:59 AM
3

Logged as to the first paragraph? I’m unfamiliar with this phrasing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:38 AM
1

I see handsome men all the time. I’m about to get on TikTok since my work has died down and watch edits by thirsty women of a shirtless Kyle Gallner, Hamish Linklater, Caleb Landry Jones, David Duchovny, and a young but unfortunately clothed James Spader. The algorithm knows what I like. If I wanted to look at women or fuck women, I would. But tomorrow is the start of my weekend and I’m going to go blow and fuck my hot boyfriend whom I love. He’s tall, has a nice smooth and flat non lumpy chest,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:33 AM
2

Yes and women don’t really have refractory periods. It’s my main complaint with men. When I get one I like you can’t go all night unless you’re like under 25. I have endless orgasms and am essentially never satisfied. I envy men in some way. You can be satiated. With me it’s an itch that never goes away to be honest. But would you give this woman in the grocery store cunnilingus and have no orgasm in return? I always cum many times but I was raised to have no sexual shame and to take what I want…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:05 AM
4

I don’t need to know anything about a hot man to want him, no. I will say I probably find fewer men hot than you find women hot. That changes in Italy and Germany though. In the USA so many men are fat and I have zero desire for fat men. I also need a man to be dressed in form fitting clothing so baggy tshirts and cargo shorts aren’t going to do it for me unless the man has so obviously a hot body and a perfect face that even a terrible sloppy oversized wardrobe can’t conceal it. Honestly if men…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:19 AM
1

This idea that women don’t have this itch is a fairly recent thing. Hippocrates, Muhammad hell even in Lysistrata which gets oddly misinterpreted these days (the joke was women can’t stop their libido and it was constant) all portrayed women as the hornier sex that needed containment because we just can’t stop fucking. I know women say some bullshit about “reactive desire” but those women don’t experience reactive desire according to even them. Reactive desire includes looking at your partner an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:47 PM
3

When I was 20 men in their 20s hit on me. In my 30s men in their 20s and 30s hit on me at bars. Now I’m 40 and men about 26-46 hit on me in bars regularly (yes I go to bars often to hear music and live comedy). Honestly the age range just gets larger as you get older and the quality of men goes up. Men have always outnumbered women at bars. I’ve never been to a singles event but I am positive it would be like dating sites and men would outnumber women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:02 PM
1

Do women not want it as much or are women pickier about men’s looks and personality? I see women spending a great deal of time trying to attract a man they actually desire. Seems fairly central to many women’s lives. Whenever men go “well being selective proves you want it less” I say “then marry a fat and ugly woman. Since you want it so much more. That will make you happy. Right?”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:56 PM
3

Do you believe asexual people cannot enjoy sex or intimacy? Many can and they don’t experience sexual attraction generally. Likewise, men and women who experiment may not have felt sexual attraction to the person they performed a sex act with. They just performed the sex act. Either to try it out or for performance and attention or just curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:09 AM
4

How are they not being accountable? If they are honest they did something and don’t claim someone forced them to do it when they didn’t, how are they not taking accountability? Accountability has a connotation of “blame” so why are you choosing this word? People are guilty of anything for having consensual intimate contact with any adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:50 AM
26

Look at how Arnold Schwarzenegger talked with other men about how beautiful bodybuilder bodies are in those documentaries about his bodybuilding days. Look at how ads in GQ magazine for men’s perfume and watches look. Look at how marvel movies have men be absolutely jacked beyond belief. That’s not for the female gaze. There absolutely are men who look at other men’s bodies. If you’re implying women get wet when seeing women with aspirational bodies I doubt that’s at all common. Now watching a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:55 AM
2

Yes there are otherwise liberal women who hold on to conservative values surrounding gender roles. Usually leftist women have deconstructed this more.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:11 AM
1

To be honest I’ve slept with many, many men (around 50) and I can think of one that was selfish and one that was slightly selfish in particular ways. I don’t find it to be true men don’t like making women orgasm. If anything many men enjoy it more than their own orgasm. The two selfish men were also obviously selfish in other areas of life. Who we are in bed is also who we are in life. It’s a valuable lesson in not fucking selfish people. To be honest one of them still was a good lay but he was …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 06:31 AM
1

Interesting so you knew he was a player. I suppose I’m lucky in that players come across as smarmy to me and turn me off.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:25 AM
1

Why would you be friends with this person? They lied to you and wanted to use you and hurt you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:22 AM
3

Depends on the situation. Was it an affair or a one time thing? Does he have kids to think of?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:18 AM
1

Jesus. I’ve had way, way, WAY more partners than average and I’ve never experienced this. I can’t even imagine this.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:16 AM
1

They told you they faked it? What jerks. How did that conversation go?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:08 AM
1

I believe this is true for you. But Jeff Bezos married a woman in her mid fifties recently and he’s richer than God. If he wanted a 25 year old, he could have had one. Bill Gates has a longtime girlfriend who is in her mid sixties. Warren Buffet married his second wife when she was 60. Rich men don’t seem to agree with you. In fact are gaps are heavily associated with poorer men who couldn’t secure a wife in their early life. Successful older men don’t marry young women. Obviously I agree men an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:07 AM
1

They think empathy is bad period. They aren’t saying we shouldn’t coddle terrorists or serial killers. Many think empathy is literally a sin against their God and aligns you with Satan who they tend to believe is a literal being. It aligns with their blasphemous “prosperity gospel.” In my humble opinion they act like agents of the Antichrist. I say modern day conservatism is antisocial because , well, let’s quote Thatcher: “there’s no such thing as society.” Conservatives tend to believe only th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:29 AM
1

Well modern day conservatism is antisocial at its core. The Republican Party’s talking heads literally say empathy is bad. So it makes sense you’d be drawn to it, assuming ASPD stands for what I think it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:11 AM
3

You also have far less estradiol than women which is vital for sex drives in men and women. Hormone therapies for low libido women aren’t effective if only testosterone is administered. Just pointing out that sex drives are complex and testosterone isn’t the only component for men and women. Saying women have less testosterone and that must be why they might have a lower drive isn’t the full picture. I could as easily say men have less estrogen and that’s why so many have lower drives than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:27 AM
0

Men my age and younger approach me at bars regularly. I think a lot of young men just are segregated from their more gregarious counterparts.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:19 AM
3

Because it is a conservative thing. It’s conservative gender roles. Some otherwise liberal women hold on to conservative gender roles. I say this gently, but the fact you think men and women tend to view each other as morally inferior says more about the social circles you run in than then the population on the whole. I’m aware it is not an unpopular sentiment, but it is much less common amount egalitarian people who by definition are not conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:17 AM
5

The best men (and male leaders and teachers) in the world are all those things but I understand some people call that their feminine side.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:55 PM
1

Sure sometimes if he’s handsome but somehow managed to not marry within his own social class (which is often a sign he’s not great with people). But there is a stereotype about the type of men who marry poor foreign women for a reason. “Loser back home” aka LBH I believe they call them?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:50 PM
1

Seems like a recipe for mail order brides. It will never not be strange to me how many men are ok with their partners marrying them out of desperation or plain necessity. If I were a man I’d want to be desired sexually and emotionally the way I desire my (Latino lol) long term partner. I suppose it’s undesirable men who just accept they have to pay for it and the woman doesn’t enjoy sex with them but does with other men. Seems terrible for the mental health of men though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:43 PM
1

This isn’t always true. In the USA more women than men marry Latino immigrants. It depends on the demographic. American women apparently like Latino male immigrants more than American men like Latina immigrants. The difference isn’t vast, but it’s consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:30 PM
4

Examples?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:26 PM
1

Why not just prioritize men and women with children? And why not prioritize men who commit to marry and have children with a German woman? Why is it just women you want to “import?” A sure thing would be to import families with a few children already. That’s a sure bet and no gamble if the goal is more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:12 PM
3

What do you mean by femininity?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:05 PM
1

Sure some men prefer chubby women too. But it’s less common.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:32 PM
2

Not sure why that’s an lol. Of course we can say the same about other difficult industries and that’s why they unionize. Bringing in other coal miners willing to get injured and endanger others isn’t the solution. Workplace safety efforts and collective bargaining is what keeps people in industries. I have family in the plumbing business and they stay in such a dirty job because of the union. Wages are very good and they have amazing health insurance for their families.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:45 PM
3

They aren’t wiling to work bedside in areas without unions and generally poor working conditions. We can influence the conditions to be more favorable. Bringing in nurses whose visas are tied to their employer making them so afraid to rock the boat they’ll take an unsafe patient load doesn’t fix the conditions: it exacerbates them. Keeping skilled and knowledgeable nurses in the ICU and ER instead of a constantly revolving door of inexperienced nurses does matter. It improves patient outcomes. L…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:33 PM
5

There are enough license holding nurses to do the jobs. Once they get experience they leave for better nursing positions that aren’t bedside. I’m saying make bedside sustainable as a career. Not to mention I’m shocked how little experience most critical care nurses have. I was a travel nurse after five years of nursing and I was commonly the most experienced nurse . That is terrible for patients. Nurses are basically liabilities the first two years in critical care and you don’t reach a mastery …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:17 PM
2

Why not also deport immigrant men who don’t have a child? Why are you focusing on women here? Men can have more children than women in a short time as well. Incentivize them to get willing women pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:03 PM
4

Side note: We don’t have a nursing shortage. We have enough nurses they just don’t want to work bedside because it ruins your back and the pay and work environment are terrible. It’s an often cited thing in nursing that we have enough license holding nurses. They go into other careers or take office nursing jobs once they wise up. We have been doing what you’re saying in the USA though by attracting men and women from Asia for example. In the end they also leave bedside but they are less likely …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:01 PM
8

Healthy animals have sex. They don’t choose pregnancy. Healthy animals choose to drink water, they don’t choose to have a healthy blood volume due to hydration. Healthy animals have an appetite. They don’t choose to gain muscle and fat. Animals don’t choose pregnancy. However have you seen those snails or worms or whatever who fight each other to impregnate the other one. Both animals can get pregnant, and the “loser” ends up being pregnant. Pregnancy is hard on the body and without modern medic…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:53 PM
2

This isn’t true. Women don’t like endlessly tall men. A graph of what women like looking at height wise is shaped like a candy cane, with 6’5 being the most desirable and every inch after falling in desirability. 7 feet tall men exist now and they aren’t considered the best looking per studies. The same goes for muscles. Women like a swimmers body (lean, v shaped torso, lean and muscular legs). But bodybuilders are usually a turn off for women. More height and more muscles don’t necessarily turn…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:50 PM
32

You have to have extremely low self esteem to date anyone who views sex with you as a reward. People who have sex to feel good are the people who actually enjoy sex and they are better in bed. Any woman who uses the word “provision” when talking about a man is conservative and conservative women usually don’t really like men. They think of men as spiritually and morally beneath them, like dogs. They may treat a man as a “leader” but it’s because they don’t want to think and want to sit back and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:42 PM
1

I value youth a lot. Every male actor I’ve ever had a crush on looked best around the age of 25, sometimes younger. I just don’t care about youth if the guy isn’t hot. It’s irrelevant to me. He’s not sexy why do I care that he’s young?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:04 AM
1

But you’d choose youth over looks. I wouldn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:00 AM
1

So you would marry based on youth, not looks. Interesting. I find youthful looking handsome men most attractive. You find youthful average women most attractive. Women really do have higher standards for looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:50 AM
4

I think being able to tell if someone likes you is a normal skill for neurotypical people, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:54 AM
5

As I said, I don’t find men fake wanting a relationship. Men are pretty transparent generally. If a man gives mixed signals he’s not interested but normal women know that since women also give mixed signals when they enjoy dating but aren’t interested in pursuing it further. It’s a human thing, not a gendered thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:37 AM
3

Normal middle class men expect women (who aren’t independently wealthy already) to not be jobless. Only men with very low self esteem or men who want a woman to “save” think otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:30 AM
4

Every pursuant man doesn’t though. I find men are quite honest actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:22 AM
3

Agreed (though of course some men are exceptions like those with low sex drives and I’ve unfortunately been in relationships with such men). I never understood the idea that this wasn’t true for women as well though. If I lost my sex drive and my partner died, I’d not have any motivation to date. The whole point of dating was to have fun and sex and then a few times along the way I fell in love with a man who also fell in love with me. It really was never the plan. My current partner and I talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:21 AM
5

There are women who like it. I like it just not in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:11 AM
0

Women were publicly shamed and made social outcasts years ago for getting pregnant out of wedlock and yet women still had sex with men. Not to mention plenty of gay men married women in the past and didn’t ever express their sexuality out of fear. There’s even a term for this: beard.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:40 AM
1

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jul/15/women-as-likely-to-be-turned-on-by-sexual-images-as-men-study Women as likely to be turned on by sexual images as men – study
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:32 AM
2

No it’s women. Gay men have their own subs that don’t call themselves “ladyboners.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:28 AM
2

They don’t have to be celebrities. Celebrities are a common example because we can point to women very obviously publicly lusting after them. If I tell you every girl in my high school was listing after a 6’4 blonde boy who wore tank tops every day with gorgeous arms and a great ass that isn’t something you can confirm. Though it’s true. That boy made math class very hard to pay attention in for all of Mrs. Lovelace’s class. Meanwhile, we can point to women going crazy for those Heated Rivalry a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:27 AM
2

Oh women do find still photos of men attractive. Hot priest and firefighter calendars are a popular thing. We just would rather masturbate to the moving image. Porn is way more fun to get off on than a still picture. Given the success of the porn industry it would seem men are like women in this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:18 AM
1

I mean we do find pictures of men sexually attractive, it’s just that actual porn or edits on TikTok are MORE attractive. I have a hot priest calendar from Rome. Those still shots are definitely attractive but if I want to masturbate porn is more fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:17 AM
1

When we asked women what body fat percentage they found most attractive, 58% chose the body with a flat stomach, and 39% chose the body with abs. The average man is overweight, but only 3% of women chose that body fat percentage. 0% chose the obese body. https://bonytobeastly.com/most-attractive-male-body-survey-results/ Fatness also affects men’s facial attractiveness. Jawlines and cheekbones are sharper at lower body fat percentages. There’s a reason leading men in romance movies for women loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:26 PM
3

There is nothing naturally feminine about long hair and makeup. Men used to have long hair and wear makeup in western society. I still want said men to be 6’5, have broad shoulders, a narrow waist, defined biceps, a strong jaw and brow, and sharp canines (much more common in the male of any mammal). In ethnic groups where men rarely go bald, long hair is the norm even for warriors. Think native Americans or some Asians. Samurai are depicted with long hair for a reason. Native Americans are depic…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:19 PM
1

Cherry picking I see. It also showed: “Studies comparing sex buyers to non-sex buyers have found that sex buyers are more likely, to report sexual aggression and likelihood to rape than men who do not pay for sex. Men who paid for sex scored higher on measures of impersonal sex and hostile masculinity and had less empathy for prostituted women” Also from my link: “studies have described that reasons for buying sex varies across groups of men and also include, for example, emotions, need of intim…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:45 PM
1

Men who attract women are also objects of desire. They are seductive because in large part because they are desirable. If you’re not into handsome men, fine. Most women want to be seduced by a man they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:07 AM
1

Some men do really like women in outfits. My bf likes me to wear certain outfits specially before sex. He even likes clothed sex sometimes (if I’m wearing the outfits he likes). Plenty of men like lingerie — and plenty don’t. If you mean some men look better with clothes on because it creates an illusion of a more desired body type: sure. And some women look better in a corset and push up bra than naked. Panty hose exist to smooth out the appearance of legs. High heels exist to change how men an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:03 AM
2

Ah I did read into that when you said the opposite works. My mistake. As a HL woman I will say, after the honeymoon stage as you said, if I wanted regular sex from most of my ex partners, I had to engage in foreplay. I’ve had men complain in the past me saying “hey let’s fuck” doesn’t make them horny. It makes them feel pressured and not turned on and all. I say this because I used to believe as a teen men were always DTF and I didn’t need to romance them. It really confused me and at times made…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 04:58 AM
2

Most men don’t ever pay for sex and the ones who do are different than average men. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-020-01843-3
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 01:26 AM
1

I seek it out and the algorithm knows what I like. I will if you maybe try convincing your friends to have the type of male bodies most women want to watch on TikTok edits. That’s pretty important in all of this. Many male bodies don’t do anything for me, though they might in clothes because you can hide your true overall shape in some clothes. Like he might still have nice forearms so in clothes he might look good. Clothes can sometimes create more flattening lines than a naked unfit body.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:38 PM
2

I don’t even know what all day foreplay is. I’ve always dated fellow employed people with lives. Foreplay that lasts more than 1 minute is nicer for both men and women, typically. Makes the orgasms stronger. Women describe being attracted to men dressed with rolled up sleeves because we tend to like long, veiny forearms (very Freudian, isn’t it?) doesn’t mean they only are attracted to their forearms. Men talk about liking women in sundresses. Does that mean they are turned off by a woman in a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:34 PM
3

If the sight of a woman’s naked husband turns her off that’s extremely sad and not something a typical woman wants or expects. That woman finds a different size or body type on a man much more attractive than his. My partners have always turned me on when they did yard work or played basketball with no shirt on and shorts. Glistening sweat on their backs and arms, the shape of their long legs, etc. And yes my man walking in naked to the bedroom especially with an erection is exciting to me. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:31 PM
1

Responsive desire includes responding to planking until failure videos and men just out looking good. Spontaneous desire is literally spontaneous without any external input. I do have spontaneous desire but I experience responsive desire while watching these shirtless men plank and moan.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:29 PM
2

Never met a man who was surprised I get on top. But I agree there are plenty of women who don’t take agency for their own pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:28 PM
2

Generally women do like to find their partners desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:27 PM
2

Women tell you they feel intense desire for hot actors who aren’t even celebrities in Heated Rivarly. Those two were totally unknown. They now have women thirsting after them all over the world. How is this explained by you? It’s two hot unknown men. It’s a primarily female audience. There is no woman to sub for the object of desire. You’re invalidated millions of women though, not just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:16 AM
1

Male strippers aren’t talking or showing emotions. We have talked about male strippers before. Firstly: they exist. There is a strip club filled with men in my town and an additional one two nights a week features men. My boyfriend is in the strip club business and I hear about all the drama between the male and female strippers dating and all that goes down those nights. But: male strippers aren’t sensual usually. They dance in ways women don’t find attractive. Patrick Swayze roller skating in …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:19 AM
3

Yup. The French Revolution influenced so much in Western History. We might have men still wearing wigs and makeup and heels had things gone differently. Men look so good in makeup done correctly it’s a shame. Especially eyeliner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 02:47 AM
1

The equivalent would a man “advertising” himself by dressing immodestly, going to clubs, posing pics on social media etc. It wouldn’t be talking to other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:57 AM
3

I’d gently recommend not being friends with the type of men who talk about body count. They don’t like women. They certainly don’t all do this. I am in social clubs with men in their 20s. I never hear them talk about it. Some flirt with me and ask me on dates and they never ask me about it. Are these religious or conservative men? Secular liberals or leftists or progressives are far less likely to ask you about this. My boyfriend is even religious and pretty centrist politically but even he thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:39 AM
1

Are you unaware of feminist porn sites? That’s what Bellesa and ForHerTube already do. Actually here’s 24: “24 Feminist Porn Sites You’ll Really, ReallyEnjoy” https://www.glamour.com/story/5-porn-sites-for-women-that-youll-really-really-enjoy
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:25 AM
1

But when women do buy men (and they do, there are gigolos and male strippers and hunk bars in Japan and magic mike stage shows) you’d just say those women were actually men. When women buy content like Bridgerton or Vampire shows and movies you just say they don’t actually desire those men and the men just happen to be extremely sexy looking (for status? Or something?). When women watch gay porn you say they’re men. So nothing will make you believe women desire men, because the women who do…. Ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:17 AM
6

Interesting thought. You probably have heard of this but if you have not: the Great Male Renunciation in fashion is interesting. Men used to dress so beautifully! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Male_Renunciation
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:11 AM
1

You’re aware you’re not open to new information then. You will always explain it away to support your desired conclusion even if it means deciding the women just aren’t women at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:07 AM
1

They make men’s and women’s legs and asses look better. I think the obvious answer might be the correct one here. But agreed they are also coded as sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:05 AM
2

One in three women watch porn at least once a week. https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Survey-One-in-three-women-watch-porn-at-least-6584637.php And now you’ve decided the women who actually desire men are men themselves biologically. Well you’ve really cracked the code. Porn hun reports that women make up a third of the gay male porn audience but you can explain this away by pointing out they just aren’t women at all!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:40 PM
1

I agree plenty of style is for women themselves. Fuck me pumps are to look hot though. That’s why they’re called fuck me pumps.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:19 PM
1

Why do women masturbate to gay porn? It’s interesting you frame women’s desire as the opposite of “real.” So men have the “real” desire. We’ve discussed this before. We are all objects and subjects. This isn’t a new concept. It’s ancient. Yin and yang. Both heterosexual and bisexual men and women both desire and want to be desired. Both these things (like yin and yang) are in all of us. Women tell you we want to fuck handsome men. They arouse us. Why do you not listen to what women tell you? Are…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:16 PM
2

Why do you think women are supposedly like this? Is it because men are ugly? Because women don’t understand themselves? Because women are natural followers who are more susceptible to men than group think? Is it because we’re narcissists? What purpose does it serve for the female of a species to not actually desire sex with the male? Why do women have sex? Why do we stare at handsome men? Why do we dare? Why do we have crushes?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:37 PM
2

So unless enough women paid for sex from random men you think women don’t actually want sex or desire men? So men who’ve never paid for sex don’t desire women? Also this isn’t true about women suddenly liking a man because he’s a celebrity. Part of why they are a celebrity is because they are attractive. You think Brad Pitt had trouble dating before he was famous? Do men only like famous female celebrities because they’re celebrities? This is distorted thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:16 PM
2

Disagree. Most women wear makeup and heels to be attractive to the male gender. What kind of psycho woman wears heels for fun? It’s to look good. An exception would be like really detailed eye makeup. But most women who try for the natural look before a date are one hundred percent doing that in the hope their date finds them pretty. I can tell you I wouldn’t get Botox or lip filler or have my eye brows threaded if all men stopped existing. I’d get fatter too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:57 PM
12

I read once that in ethnic groups where baldness is rare the men tend to have long hair, including warriors. Like native Americans and some Chinese. Always thought that was interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:43 PM
5

True. I think paying for sex or sexual content feels more demeaning to women. “It reveals hunger and ambition that is unbecoming.” And yet women put on makeup and have their hair ripped out by wax and wear heels and uncomfortable shape wear and diet and pay tons of money for fake tans, Botox, lip filler, hair dye, eyebrow threading, fake lashes to get sex from men. But to pay for sex is somehow demeaning for women and for men to make themselves more handsome for women is demeaning and “gay.” Gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:27 PM
2

Almost every single time I go to a bar a man approaches me. When I was single it often lead to sex if I thought they were cute and I did maybe half the time. It’s interesting we have such different experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:01 PM
2

The woman seduces the man in porn. A lot of porn has women dancing awkwardly in the beginning and doing a strip tease, so there is seduction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:53 PM
9

Are most normal men paying for porn though? Most people get their content for free these days, no? Only like 4 percent of OF subscribers even pay for anything according to google.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:49 PM
8

Guys in eyeliner make me fucking melt. Gotta be applied correctly of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:43 PM
2

Idk man me and my boyfriend were both extremely slutty and sexual people before we met. He’s had sex with over a hundred women and he easily got laid most any time he went out. When I told to him about this sub on the rare occasion he doesn’t relate at all. He and I both know that there is a sea of single people out on Friday nights looking to fuck usually NSA. I don’t really know why you’re not aware of this. I’m guessing you’re just not very social?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:42 PM
9

Oh no we really care if you’re fat. Being fit and thin is the number one thing a man can do to be attractive to women. And yeah some people will shame you for makeup. But sex is a bigger motivator supposedly, no? And if like in Korea more men started wearing makeup it would become the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:34 PM
2

Small Hands, the Girthmaster and Owen Grey are popular with women though? A decade ago James Deen was the porn star women loved. Wait never mind that’s just celebrity worship. When women desire a porn star it’s just celebrity worship, right? Basically if women don’t pay random men for sex you won’t believe we find you attractive. That’s honestly very sad you think no woman will desire you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:29 PM
2

Agreed ugly women and men aren’t helped much by makeup. But attractive men become more attractive with makeup. It’s why they wear it. And groupies were fucking those men long before they were famous. It is the great fantasy of men that status and accomplishes cab buy a woman’s sexual desire. The truth is Robert Plant was just objectively hot. It helped that the music was great but if he were an uggo he wouldn’t have had the groupies he had.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:25 PM
2

Celebrities are objects of desire. It isn’t the celebrity being worshipped. I can’t fuck a concept, I can fuck their gorgeous face or their sexy body. They are celebrities largely due to their looks. They might have some talent too. But I also can’t fuck talent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:20 PM
2

It made them more attractive though. That’s why they wore it. That’s why 80s hair bands/glam metal rock stars styled themselves how they did: to get chicks. Because chicks went crazy for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:17 PM
8

They wear it to look better full stop. Makeup makes everyone more attractive when applied correctly and in a natural fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:14 PM
2

So men who don’t visit sex workers don’t desire women? Men who don’t “simp for OF creators” don’t desire women? This is explained by one thing mainly: women are more selective and desire fewer men on average because we only want the best sperm since we carry the babies. When one group is pickier, another group will be left out and forced to buy. It’s not complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:10 PM
8

Educated men in blue cities don’t tend to hate women. By the way thank you for the important work you do!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:03 PM
7

There is a highly visible subculture of highly sexual straight people though? Feeld exists off the top of my head. As a formerly extremely slutty woman I’m very confused by comments like these. Do y’all like not know about your local bar culture? Straight people who hang out in bars hook up all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:00 PM
3

It’s not a failure. You just refuse for some bizarre reason to accept any evidence that women like looking at handsome men, despite the overwhelming evidence that we do. You explain away every single example shown to you of women wanting to enjoy handsome men. It’s really bizarre. It appears to be an almost psychological need of yours to believe women don’t want to fuck men. That we don’t want a handsome man to eat our pussy with full beautiful lips and look up at us with gorgeous eyes. That we …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:41 PM
11

I thought red pill men thought we all were riding the cock carousel? But if you think I’m a minority perhaps that’s why men have always loved me and treated me so well. I guess I’m just special.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:31 PM
1

Oh I’m so glad you dumped them after they asked! That is wild. Men never used to ask this. I guess this red pill shit really got in their brains. I will say I promise it gets better. Once men have some experience they tend to be less insecure. I’d be really surprised if by the time you’re dating men in their late 20s they will be asking this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:26 PM
5

He’s not a celebrity that’s why you’ve never heard of him. He does low budget films. I learned of him because TikTok because obsessed with him a couple of years ago because he’s so handsome so lots of women make edits of him. But if he were a celebrity, he’d be an object of desire nonetheless, because he’s physically extremely attractive. Why would the fact that he’s in media make him not an object of desire? If I point out the planking until failure random men in media would you say “not enough…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:21 PM
2

How many guys is this? And the fact that they dumped you right after shows you they didn’t like you as a person. Those men did not like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:15 PM
7

Prince, Mick Jagger (those lips when he was young too omg), Steven Tyler, David Bowie, Kurt Cobain, Dave Navarro, Tommy Lee etc etc all famously loved by women. And of course The King: Elvis. Women threw panties at him and fainted. Because he was hot. And eyeliner made him even hotter which is why he wore it and dyed his hair to make his looks higher contrast. Because he wasn’t stupid. And he knew how to get women to love him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:14 PM
3

How many men has this been? Please tell me you never talked to them again.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:09 PM
10

And yet all rock and roll stars who wear eyeliner (including my favorite, Elvis) prove you wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:03 PM
2

I bought tickets to Philadelphia and Chicago to see Kyle Gallner in person at screenings of his movies. He doesn’t have adult content for sale. But I spent hotel and airfare money to get to stare at him and hug him (he initiated the hug both times and I nearly died that man is so beautiful it hurts). I have bought the movie Strange Darling which I don’t even really like but he has sex scenes in it. I have bought Dinner in America and have watched it countless times because he’s hot as fuck in it…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:01 PM
12

Yeah the same way men bullshit women and say they prefer a woman who is “naturally” good looking without makeup. But men fall for the makeup trick every single day. Women fall for it too. Makeup works. If man cared so much they’d workout and wear makeup and style their hair. But most men just aren’t very sexually motivated and it disappoints me every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:56 PM
7

I watch solo men masturbating in porn probably at least five days a week. So yes. I would find it sexy IF the man was sexy looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:48 PM
7

You’re hanging out with terrible men. I’ve dated hundreds of men and slept with 50 plus men. No man has ever asked me my body count. I’m with a wonderful man in a monogamous relationship now and he’s never brought it up, because that’s weird as fuck. I’m in America though. Don’t know your culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:46 PM
11

The crushing watermelons between their legs trend is one I am highly enjoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:43 PM
1

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lets-face-it/202211/makeup-increases-attractiveness-in-male-faces/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:23 PM
16

Makeup makes men more attractive. That’s why actors wear it. If men gave a shit about being desirable they’d work on their looks and learn to wear subtle makeup to (scientifically proven) increase their attractiveness to women. But men can’t even stop being fat despite this supposed interest in attracting women. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lets-face-it/202211/makeup-increases-attractiveness-in-male-faces/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:10 PM
1

No, makeup makes men more attractive it’s why actors wear it and if men gave a shit about being desirable to women they’d learn subtle ways to apply it and increase their attractiveness. But men can even stop being fat or learn to take care of long hair (which makes all men hotter) so I doubt y’all care. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lets-face-it/202211/makeup-increases-attractiveness-in-male-faces/amp
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:04 PM
8

I am real. Why would I be sarcastic? Slutty women like me who love men are all over the place. Just go to your local bar. We usually like having a couple of drinks on a Friday night too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:01 PM
1

If a man asks you that, that man hates you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:50 PM
3

Plenty of gays and lesbians are in the closet. Different people react differently to purity culture and the idea that homosexuality is a sin. One of my friends is married to a woman (lesbian marriage) and her wife is still not comfortable letting her work know she’s married to a woman. Strange to me but it still exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:46 PM
0

lol yes. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:36 PM
4

You said female sexuality in general doesn’t like looking at men as objects of desire. I’m saying: I disagree, and probably me disagreeing is one of the reasons I orgasm so easily. I only fuck men who are desirable. Weird that you’d fuck men you don’t desire sexually. You just have to be like convinced into it by some ugly man? But if he makes you feel desirable you’ll fuck? Like Jesus Christ I can’t imagine having such low self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:35 PM
3

Kyle Gallner posts for free stories on instagram himself in tank tops doing all sorts of things and me and countless other women act like he’s sending us love letters from the frontlines of war. Damn that man is hot. I don’t know why y’all ask these questions and then I get on here and say “if you’re actually sexy yes many women will desire your body” and y’all want to nitpick. He’s sexy because he has gorgeous eyes, and lips, and cheekbones, and hair, and shoulders, and arms, and legs and he ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:33 PM
13

Reactive desire would include being turned on by nudes or sexting. Reactive desire means you react to external stimuli and don’t have spontaneous desire. I find women who aren’t sexually attracted to men fascinating. I love when my man sends me videos of him masturbating. I have an immediate (reactive) reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:24 PM
2

Look up Kyle Gallner as Hasil Farrell or Simon in Dinner in America. Off the top of my head on TikTok this is what many women desire. You will find he is often shirtless and gorgeous. You’re welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:23 PM
7

Girl don’t generalize me and pretend women in general just get off on being passive objects of desire. Smdh. I happen to have a sexy partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:09 PM
11

This is only true of women who can’t orgasm with themselves in control. I don’t need a man to perform tricks. I can get on top and orgasm easily. And yeah he needs to look sexy for me to do that. It’s really weird to me that some women act like men give us orgasms. We orgasm. We do. Men don’t perform tricks and magic to get us to. Just get on top and look at a sexy man. If you’re not orgasming during sex, maybe it’s because you’re not looking at a sexy man. I can’t orgasm without imagery general…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:04 PM
9

I love him! He’s so hot and the hoetry given to him is top notch.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 05:03 PM
40

…. Yeah I’m just gonna go back to TikTok and keep watching planking until failure videos of random shirtless men that me and millions of other women watch. I have spontaneous desire and my favorite thing to do is to look at hot men. My favorite pastime is looking at sexy men along with, again, millions of other women. I BEG men to make themselves more beautiful. Grow your hair long. Wear eyeliner and some foundation. Workout and stop being fucking fat. It would go a long way and I’d like more of…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 04:57 PM
18

I like it when other people make me things too. It’s because they don’t go through the pains and stress of pregnancy and labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:29 AM
1

I googled it. Americans seem to have lower rates of magnesium deficiency than most places. Canada has much higher rates. China too. Germans and Koreans have very high levels. Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:59 PM
1

Germans consume more chocolate than Americans. But I take your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:41 PM
7

I love feminine men! A good mix of feminine and masculine is the best. Bi men tend to be amazing in bed. I watch prostate stimulation porn, but not pegging. I’d agree most women don’t want to peg men. But some women really love it. I prefer to use my vagina to please men because it gives me pleasure at the same time and we can orgasm at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:36 PM
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I wouldn’t date a man who thought like this because that man is insecure and insecure men will ruin your life. My man feels special because I love him and want to have sex all the time. The only sex act that I reserve for relationships (so not ONS or casual) is blowjobs. I’ll let ONS go down on me and they usually did, but I don’t want a dick in my mouth without a condom if I don’t know the guy so what’s the point? Regular condoms taste terrible. I know my man used to have anal sex with an ex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:12 PM
1

I also come from a family that is fine with casual sex. My mother used to tell me I should have a different man for every day of the week, and one of them should be able to dance, one should be a good cook, and one should be gay. That was an actual saying she had. It wasn’t something she said one time. So I was primed for the idea that it was fine to refine my taste by sampling many men in my youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:04 PM
1

Do you think the French don’t eat chocolate? From the study some of the participants: French or Haitian Creole (n = 6), French (n = 4), Bengali, Farsi, Korean, Malayalam, Polish, Russian, and Twi (n = 2 each), Bambara, German, Gujarati, Hebrew, Igbo, Italian, Patwa/ Patois, Punjabi, Urdu, and Vietnamese
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:59 PM
1

I always orgasm usually more than once. I have had a great deal of casual sex but I’m in monogamous relationship now. I’ve wondered before if my ease with orgasming made me more interested in casual sex than other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:51 PM
2

I always orgasm usually more than once. I have had a great deal of casual sex but I’m in monogamous relationship now. I’ve wondered before if my ease with orgasming made me more interested in casual sex than other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:51 PM
1

Why give my rights up preemptively to avoid losing them? Exactly!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:44 PM
1

Yes, that could be a reason why. The first study I found googling this came up with this: Research does not support popular accounts implicating physiological factors in menstrual chocolate craving etiology. We tested the novel hypothesis that greater menstrual craving prevalence in the U.S. is the product of internalized cultural norms. Women of diverse backgrounds (n = 275) reported on craving frequency and triggers and completed validated measures of acculturation. Foreign-born women were sig…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:59 AM
2

I completely take your point. Children change things. I originally was responding to the comment that once a week was ideal for “any relationship” because of women’s hormones. That wouldn’t include only relationships with children. I take that to be universal statement with some biological determinism added in on top.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:21 AM
2

No. Had a stillbirth and never wanted to go through labor again after that. Pregnancy never really affected my sex drive but once I recovered it was actually higher for a bit. But I didn’t have a kid keeping me up all night!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:01 AM
1

Nurses look at patients holistically. We treat the patient, not the disease. Culture matters. Of course hormones are real. Saying culture affects the perception of our experiences doesn’t make hormones not real. No one has said hormone fluctuations aren’t real. Our UNDERSTANDING of them (especially laypeople) has a large cultural component. Speaking of hormones: There is an idea that higher levels of testosterone make men aggressive, even though studies repeatedly show it doesn’t. Now, give a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:25 AM
1

Oh ICU nurse here. Hello fellow nurse! So take Chinese culture. PMS is not viewed as something with emotional symptoms but women get cold. So PMS means you feel cold. In most countries women don’t crave chocolate. But in America it’s stereotype that women need chocolate during menstruation. These are cultural. Stereotyping women as crazy bitches during PMS… is cultural. Something men have historically liked doing. Culture and how we are treated affects our perceptions. The mind is a funny thing.…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:13 AM
1

You don’t think there is a cultural understanding of how women are supposed to behave and feel while PMSing? Really? Men don’t have stereotypes about this?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:06 AM
2

You know how as a culture we have ideas about what dopamine and serotonin are? Our ideas are shortcuts and any scientist would cringed. Dopamine is not really a “reward” neurotransmitter and serotonin isn’t really a “happy” neurotransmitter but culturally this is our collective understanding of them. Same course for the phases of our cycle. Same goes for how we are going to behave and feel. Were you unaware about stereotypes about our cycle? Because it’s all over TikTok. I see women pushing diet…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:03 AM
2

Ah I didn’t link. But yeah 47 studies not participants. I didn’t say our cycle doesn’t affect libido. I said cultural ideas about our cycle also can. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23036262/
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:56 AM
2

47 studies. Read again. Not participants.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:53 AM
3

Our thoughts and feelings affect our sex drives. If I think even unconsciously “oh I’m ovulating! My sex drive is high then!” Then I might feel amorous more easily. Then my sex drive will be higher. Conversely if I think it’s going to be lower that will have an effect too. It might just be a compounding effect but yeah. You don’t think thoughts and feelings affect sex drives? We have some choice over our thoughts and feelings. Especially with practice and thought work. And yes libido is affected…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:51 AM
6

I said nothing about women not loving their partners. You may be thinking of someone else. It’s important to remember a lot of what we think of as related to parts of our cycle are biological and a lot are cultural. Many women attribute things to their cycle that have nothing to do with their cycle, but if you expect to feel or be a certain way, you more likely are going to feel that way. It’s also a convenient explanation for some valid feelings. “I was mad at my husband (for something totally …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:22 AM
0

Congrats! You are not all women! Once a week is also not optimal “in any relationship.”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:53 AM
1

Oh my bad!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:50 AM
1

I believe you about how you feel about sex. You said, however, once a week is optimal in any relationship. Like you said to the other user: Not everyone is you. I prefer sex at least once a day. At LEAST.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:41 AM
2

I don’t know that “most” women do have a drastically reduced libido because of this, though some obviously do. I’d be interested in evidence showing that. Women like me who don’t get PMS don’t talk about our cycles much since there’s not much to complain about. People tend to be more vocal about complaints (like how people are more likely to write a review of a negative experience than a positive one). So women who have exhaustion and all these things you list are going to be disproportionately …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:18 AM
0

An increase in libido around ovulation doesn’t mean there is no libido in women the rest of the cycle.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:01 AM
8

What? I want and have sex every day with my partner and do have it every day. What does any of this have to do with cycles?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:25 AM
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If they enjoyed it they’d want to do it. People naturally want to do enjoyable things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:43 AM
1

You’re sincerely worried about the population and Muslims taking over. Do you support increased immigration from Christian nations to nations that have lower birthrates or no? If you’re American do you agree we need more Latinos to immigrate?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:15 AM
1

I’m glad you admit you have no interest in helping mothers have kids. You just want them to have the product, I mean the kid. I mean wouldn’t it really be best if she relied on a man she could never leave because she has too many kids and no way to take care of them? You must support increased immigration from Christian nations, right? Like for America we need more Latinos because they have more kids and also we just “need” more people period. You support that surely lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:12 AM
2

That’s a no then most likely. You just want women to have babies they don’t want and can’t afford without free healthcare or childcare. Because having children you don’t want and can’t take care of properly makes for happy children of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:45 AM
2

You want women to have babies. Why don’t you answer? Do you support government funded health care for these babies and pregnant mothers? Do you support government funded childcare?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:36 AM
2

So you agree it wasn’t leftists who pushed for population control. Good. Do you believe the planet can sustain endless population growth? Don’t believe health care for all people should be free especially for labor and delivery? What both child care. Should that be government funded?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:34 AM
2

JD Rockefeller III wasn’t a leftist and he founded The Population Council. Hugh Moore was decidedly not a leftist. Anti-immigration sentiments for a long time involved conservatives saying the population would grow too much. https://fee.org/articles/meet-the-advertising-expert-who-inspired-todays-anti-population-propaganda/ “The list of individual donors and foundations who devoted large funding to the cause includes not just Rockefeller, Ford, Eastman, and Osborn, but also Milbank, Mellon, MacA…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:28 AM
2

So women need to create the product: workers. And do this by risking pregnancy and enduring the pain of labor. And then we have to raise the product of course. When I was a kid conservatives ranted about overpopulation and how women needed to stop having babies they couldn’t afford (it was always heavily implied they usually meant black women). Endless population growth isn’t sustainable. We can automate things more now than ever. With climate change and our population being bigger than ever, yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:09 AM
2

If you care about protecting people from sharia law having kids isn’t the only way to help curb that. It’s not a red herring. If you had a crystal ball and could see Muslims wouldn’t take over would you stop caring so much about white women non Muslim not having kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:51 AM
1

Then why would you be against an equal rights amendment if in your mind it’s just redundant? And why don’t you want to prevent these sharia law people from taking over law enforcement and overthrowing the government?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:19 AM
2

So you don’t support women specifically having equal rights enshrined in the constitution. You also don’t support preventing these sharia law Muslims from becoming the majority of police. Sounds like you’re not actually worried about this you just think women should have babies they don’t want for reasons that probably having nothing to do with men not being cockblocked and women not having the freedom to easily leave marriages they don’t want to be in. Yeah that’s not it at all. It’s the Muslim…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:10 AM
1

So you don’t support an equal rights amendment for women to help stop this onslaught of sharia law about to take over? Why not? And of course you want to prevent Muslims from becoming the majority of the police force so you support DEI. Correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:54 AM
1

Yes I’m familiar with Schlafly. She was a lawyer who was able to become one because of feminism and she told other women to not go to school and stay home. She became a lawyer in middle age so she didn’t regret becoming one and wanted to warn other women. She was just an Erika Kirk: an educated rich woman who told other women the best thing they could do is stay home and have kids they can’t afford.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:51 AM
1

The equal rights amendment (ERA) didn’t pass. There is no specific language protecting women. But you of course would support us having an equal rights amendment. Yes or no? Oh so you support affirmative action and DEI then correct? No one group should be majority of the police force. Yes or no? Well we need to be sure to elect more women right now don’t we! More judges certainly. More women should be incentivized to join the police department. You agree with all of this, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:48 AM
1

How about we just strengthen laws to protect women and enshrine in the constitution all rights for women? Also we can make sure the supreme courts is stacked with young people who will never overturn the constitution. So we should pass the equal rights amendment. You support this correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:23 AM
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Oh so she lied to herself. Sounds like low self esteem and validation seeking too because she was accepting things she didn’t want. Happy, secure people don’t do that. If you have sex for shitty reasons (validation, to numb out and escape, to try to control the other person) you’re going to have shitty results. If you have sex with people because you just want to have sex and you have a connection, casual sex is great. Sex is like food. It’s sacred and fun and there’s different ways to approach …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:17 AM
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Nothing wrong with people having safe consensual sex. It doesn’t make people “bad.” But then again I’m a slut happily with another slut for years who makes me orgasm at least twice every time from penetrative sex and countless times with oral. I don’t relate to this insecurity of yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:07 AM
2

Women are who have kids and risk their bodies, health and careers. Are they doing something for society in your view? Most single parents are women. Why don’t you advocate for all men who can afford it and can’t get wives to hire surrogates? You’d agree under your world view that’s the moral thing for them to do, no? You think women do less for society? I work in hospitals and most doctors and nurses and respiratory therapists and pharmacists and physical theories and registered dieticians and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:04 AM
2

There are plenty of engineers and autistic men who have trouble getting or keeping a woman despite having money. So should they feel obligated to hire a surrogate? You know for the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:58 AM
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That sounds like something said to inflict pain. Yes. Dump her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:56 AM
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Starter husband? Wouldn’t he not be what they settle for because they expect to move on? Who has ever said someone would make a great husband but not boyfriend? Everyone settles in some small way and if they love their partner they don’t really care. Very Religious people especially fundamentalists are something I’d advise sane people to steer clear of. I’ve had my hot girl summer? Like I had some flings and now I want true love? Makes sense. Men and women do this. Too nice means she doesn’t lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:53 AM
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Has this happened to you where a woman tells you she used to do something she enjoyed but doesn’t want to with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:47 AM
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Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:43 AM
2

But you agree the single men who can afford surrogates should do so if that’s what they need to do to have children, correct? The government will give men food stamps for their children.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:41 AM
3

If men care about our rights and they’re half the population then why should we worry about our rights being taken away? Some men can afford surrogates. If women can’t afford children should they not have them since some men can’t afford surrogates so they don’t view them? Many women can’t afford children.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:09 AM
8

My relationship at 40 is more fulfilling than any relationship I’ve ever had, and I’ve had several. I’ve had plenty of causal sex too. It wasn’t more fun. It was very fun because sex is very fun. But there’s different types of sex. There’s “ok let’s do this for fun” sex and there’s “I am so deeply in love with you and need you” sex. Guess which one is better.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:46 AM
-4

You’re comparing apples and oranges. If women fail to get selected y’all would say she must be super undesirable and defective since apparently men have no standards supposedly. Women fail to get selected all the time. Plenty of lonely women out there who can’t get a boyfriend. Men are free to choose badly and date the hot crazy chick, the unemployed hot chick, the hot alcoholic or the stripper when they’re young and they aren’t socially punished at all. Maybe they are shamed by super religious …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:30 AM
3

If men don’t care about women having rights as you suggest why should women marry them and have children? Single men can hire surrogates. Why don’t they if they want kids so bad. Plenty of single moms out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:24 AM
1

Attractive men get more attention from women so why don’t more men try at all to be attractive? No explanation? Why are men obsessed with dick size and drawing dicks as kids and looking at dicks all the time? No explanation?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:03 AM
3

Or men could hire surrogates and raise children themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:58 PM
7

And when will one percent become 60 percent and how will they overturn the constitution?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:53 PM
1

Don’t know where you get anger. You don’t anger me. I am asking in earnest. If men want women so bad why are so many fat? If you can’t agree women find fat men less attractive you’re lost. Why don’t men work on their hair and skin and draw attention to their lips and eyes more with subtle makeup? More importantly why are so many fat? And why do men barely watch cunnilingus but they love watching blowjobs with bigger dicks than them? I watch tons of porn so I know this is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:50 PM
7

About 1 percent of Americans are Muslim. Latinos account for 20 percent of Americans. Mexican American Catholics tend to have plenty of children and there’s more of them. Additionally Muslims usually become much more liberal with each generation in America. https://www.cato.org/blog/muslim-immigrants-assimilate-even-more-polls-muslims-indicate
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:20 PM
1

So you can’t explain why men who supposedly desire women so much don’t make themselves desirable to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:16 PM
1

I get turned on just by looks. Plenty of women date men who would make terrible partners but are good in bed. There’s whole comedy bits by female comedians about how good dick is rarely attached to a good man, the best dick is broke dick, and the best lover women ever had didn’t have a drivers license or a credit card (or furniture, or food in the fridge…). So I know I’m not alone considering how popular these comedians are and all their views. Plus about half my friends are like me. So women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:57 PM
7

It’s not crumbling. My country (USA) still dominates the world militarily and will continue to do so for some time. You talk about sharia law but the Middle East isn’t invading the USA anytime soon. China, Korea, and Russia are way more powerful than any middle eastern Muslim country.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:49 PM
3

Men are influenced by what other men think is attractive. Plenty of men secretly like bigger women for instance but don’t want to show her off to their friends. I’ve definitely known guys who said they had crushes on girls in school but wouldn’t tell their friends because the girl wasn’t considered hot. The alcoholic beverages men drink go by trends. Craft beer was huge a few years ago and men got really into talking about the process of making it while at their local microbrewery. Humans in gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:43 PM
1

And the only way to prove they’re into men is to act how you seem to imagine most gay men act. What does that entail? Side note: why don’t straight men work on their appearance more. Hot men get more action. Maybe men just don’t like sex that much that’s why they won’t wear hair pieces (some great ones out there) or lose weight. Men don’t seem that motivated by sex if they can’t do basic stuff. Meanwhile women diet more often and out on makeup. Men would look better in makeup too. https://www.ps…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:37 PM
1

So the entire society would have to change and all the slut shaming and millennia of men controlling women’s sexuality and purity culture and the influence of the church would all have to be erased. Women would have to suddenly not be more likely to get STIs than men. We’d have to be raped less. We’d have to be bigger and stronger so we could defend ourselves when alone with a total stranger. The fact that women engage in so much sex despite all the risks doesn’t matter to you. “Women don’t act …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:02 PM
–

Are women telling men “I love sex with you but it doesn’t scratch that itch?” Dump those women. That’s a fucked up thing to say. If it’s all just happening in your head I’d question why you’re being so MEAN to yourself. “The sex is great but I bet she once had better sex because I’m fantasizing that she did!” That’s just bullying yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:52 PM
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I think because some men are so into status and hierarchies. The moment they think about vagina they’re thinking about other dicks being in it. It’s all very straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:48 PM
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Women being more selective than men is never a point of disagreement. Women however often select different men than each other. One woman’s group of men she finds attractive her best friend will think some of those men aren’t attentive and some men she wouldn’t choose are extremely attractive. Same with men. Tastes vary. Are there conventionally attractive men that women are more likely to like? Of course. Same with men and conventionally attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:46 PM
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If a man used to give oral sex to his ex’s and didn’t want to with me I’d assume he was always a bit weird about oral and also not that into me. Your take is reasonable but I disagree this is a common problem in healthy and happy relationships. If you want a sex act find out soon if your partner likes it. If they don’t, don’t bother asking or begging or losing your dignity. Don’t ask them if they’ve ever done it. Just break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:37 PM
–

No one cheered it. They disagreed in technicalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:33 PM
2

It’s not the responsibility of men either. Everyone is responsible for following the law. If they don’t they are responsible for the punishment they receive. Technically we all have no other responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:32 PM
2

Do you think if a rich female celebrity who looked about as sexy as current Leo asked out a broke good looking young dude and promised to take him on vacations and pay for all kinds of toys (cars etc) many young men would say no? I’m sure many women enjoy his money and the connections he helps them make and they know it will be over soon and they can go on to marry someone they find actually desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:30 PM
1

So you admit women like how men look aesthetically you just refuse to accept when men initiate sex with hot men it’s because they desire these men. You claim to know the inner thoughts of women so you have created a situation where beyond developing mind reading, you’re certain women desire men. When I show you examples of women liking random, not famous men planning until failure shirtless on TikTok you’re going to say “that’s just social performance.” When I say studies show women often fantas…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:25 PM
1

Where is this propaganda? I’ve seen some misandrist stuff on TikTok from smaller creators or niche bigger ones but never movies or other mainstream media.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:10 PM
1

I tell women online all the time to remember porn scenes or movie scenes or scenes you make up in your head that make you really aroused during sex. You don’t have to think of it the whole time just for a few seconds now and then. Or think about it the whole time if you want. Don’t know if people want my advice irl though. They might not want it on Reddit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:08 PM
1

Not agreeing necessarily but why do you think women decided that men are awful?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:03 PM
3

He has said he prefers relationships be transactional (“a trade”).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:01 PM
1

I don’t think it’s just the right dick. I think a lot of women who don’t orgasm from PIV can’t get out of their heads. They’re self conscious or they won’t relax or they won’t be active in their own arousal and think of sexy thoughts that turn them on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:59 PM
4

For real. A lot of women who say men are bad in bed just starfish and don’t communicate. They think men should be mind readers and that they aren’t also responsible for their own orgasm. It’s so regressive. It’s giving away all your power and then complaining you don’t get what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:57 PM
1

Being on top stimulates the clitoris and the woman has control of how hard and fast. It’s great for orgasming. If by scooting you mean grinding yeah men have more trouble coming from grinding but men love watching women orgasm on their dick, so they enjoy it in that way immensely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:57 PM
20

Every man I’ve dated loved hanging out with me. We were like best friends. We both loved having sex but it wasn’t the only reason they were with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:54 PM
25

We have plenty to gain. Love, companionship, sex. My partner makes my life immensely better.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:53 PM
1

If they’re genuinely sexually attracted to him they knew he was attractive to them almost immediately. They might require more for romance to ensue, obviously. If they thought he wasn’t attractive when they first met they probably aren’t actually attracted to his body now. Some women don’t care about being attracted to their partners. They usually aren’t that into sex generally. Third possibility is these women aren’t attractive and so they can only attract men who aren’t attractive enough to in…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:49 PM
2

So consistency is something you value for literally no reason. You have no logical argument for why consistency is a principle you hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:40 PM
2

All principles have a rationale. You’re just not voicing yours. Why is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:09 PM
3

Oh 100 percent
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:01 PM
1

If there is no reasoning at all behind your principles then they shouldn’t be held up as principles. They are irrational and random then. But of course there is always reasoning behind principles.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:00 PM
3

So you agree this isn’t a moral position you’re taking. It’s just rules you’ve made up in your head. And you’re pretending it’s about these lofty “principles” that are also made up in your head. You don’t have these rules you’ve made up because you value consistency. There is an underlying feeling you’re not voicing. Insecurity? Jealousy? Envy? And somehow you think your rules will protect you from these unpleasant feelings. That’s rather sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:43 PM
2

You are defining the principle of fairness and consistency (which I’ve never heard of as being a principle) in a way that conveniently benefits your desires. Consistency is not automatically moral if the original action itself was a mistake, unhealthy, coerced, immature, or unwanted in hindsight. Fairness can sometimes require inconsistency because treating different situations identically can ignore relevant differences. A parent might give one child more attention during a crisis. A teacher mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:29 PM
2

One night stands in general are rare. So yeah it’s rare. But among one night stands it’s not that rare. Average to below average men who hang out at bars and know how to chat up woman get laid at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:20 PM
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But why do you want to do a sex act they hate? If you want that sex act, why not be with someone who enjoys that sex act?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:10 PM
2

You’re right women don’t usually want to be with men they consider “uglier” and lacking. Women tend to be selective. But for one night stands? Yeah drunk women sleep with men less conventionally attractive than them often when it comes to one night stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:09 PM
2

People are very attracted to people who are better looking than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:02 PM
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How is a sex act someone did once and hated “part of their best?” The wording here is vague.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:53 PM
3

No the man just has to be very attractive to her not necessarily more conventionally attractive than her, though obviously conventionally attractive people have an advantage in dating. Women have types. If a man is her type and attractive enough she’ll go for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:52 PM
1

It’s not reality. I’ve never benefited from affirmative action. I’m in a female dominated field. Men actually get preferential hiring for diversity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:48 PM
–

You said you wouldn’t French kiss a woman who used to not like French kissing though. Do you want to do a sex act with your partner that they hate? How is that “fair?”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:24 PM
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So if in your first relationship you didn’t perform a sex act like oral sex, you think you should never perform that with anyone because it’s inconsistent and unfair. I only kissed my first boyfriend so I shouldn’t ever have sex in your view? I only kissed my first boyfriend maybe ten times. So I shouldn’t kiss anyone more than ten times? Why? Why would this consistency matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:12 PM
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Why is what you want defined by her past? Don’t you have desires independent of other people? Why do you care about consistency? If she didn’t like French kissing before but she did like it with you would you refuse French kissing because that’s inconsistent? You don’t just randomly care about it. There’s a thought behind the thought “I care about consistency.” Fairness is interesting. If a man has been pegged before and didn’t like it, is he being unfair if he doesn’t allow me to peg him at lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:54 AM
2

Why do women watch TikTok’s of how shirtless guys while alone and browsing anonymously? These are very popular in TikTok. Some getting a million views. Why would we do this if we don’t find men attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:48 AM
2

Women are pickier about looks than men. We are more selective about most traits of a partner generally, especially for short term dating. Men with options tend to be picky about long term partners. But most women aren’t lesbians or bi. Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:38 AM
1

This is a very good question.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:24 AM
2

No I do it because I’m highly attracted to certain men. Any thrill I get is because I’m so attracted to them. It wouldn’t be remotely thrilling if I didn’t feel attraction. Why are you so angry? Why do you need to believe women don’t ever feel attraction for their sex partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:09 AM
1

Oh we love a swimmer’s body they have that perfect V shape. Rugby too. Body builders are the equivalent of a woman being too skinny for men’s taste. Women will think it looks good but men don’t. So why don’t women prefer body builders? It would convey status and men certainly consider it high status. Perhaps it’s because women want to desire their sex partner and body builders to most women aren’t as desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:06 AM
1

All the women who masturbate to gay porn. It’s a very common category for women to watch. About 1/3 of women watch porn every week. Why are we watching men suck each other’s dicks and becoming aroused? Why do so many of us watch men solo masturbating? What is your explanation? You’re going to say no women watch women in porn and ignore all the evidence that women watch men in porn. Why do women even care about a man being handsome if it doesn’t please them? You mean to tell me women prefer hands…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:02 AM
3

Women do ask men out or flirt with men they like. The convention is for women to flirt and men to ask out. But that’s convention. The woman is active in this. Women used to drop their handkerchiefs in front of men they found attractive as a way to start the interaction indirectly. It’s just social theater. It’s a dance. My mother told me as a kid if I thought a boy was cute I should do everything to make it clear to him that if he did ask me out, I’d say yes. I was literally told that was my par…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:54 AM
1

Oh and the strippers were performing for women. Men just often think women want Thor because that’s what men like. They’re confused by women preferring to look at Loki. So the male strippers were doing what they THOUGHT women should like. Just like how so many men think women like bodybuilders when women prefer swimmer’s bodies. It’s because men like bodybuilders. Because you’re all secretly gay of course lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:50 AM
1

Not wanting my sex partner to be repulsed by my body doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to the sex worker. I am attracted to my sex partners visually. Would you prefer to have sex with someone who thinks sex with you is fun or someone who is repulsed? You do know men also want to feel desired. Why do you think incels get so angry when we suggest they just see a sex worker? They want to be wanted. That’s a normal human thing. Why do men want enthusiastic sex partners? That’s always the top answers wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:45 AM
5

No women usually know if they want a man. It’s not a “slow emotional realization.” In Hollywood romances the woman is almost invariably immediately attracted to the man, there are just obstacles to overcome because that’s how conventional plots work. Without conflict/obstacles there is no Hollywood story. The female lead might hate him at first but she thinks he’s attractive and there is tension. Again, this is because it allows a plot. It’s why they never show the “happily ever after.” It doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:34 AM
5

They won’t most likely you’re right. Maybe if enough elderly out vote republicans but we see people vote against their own interest all the time. Despite this, it’s not the responsibility of younger women to have children just because our government sucks. Furthermore we can’t realistically sustain endless population growth so the shift has to happen sometime.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:27 AM
2

By what definition is it social to anonymously watch a TikTok over and over alone? But women do go to strip clubs and do hire gigolos. Strip clubs are a bit odd because the man dress and dance in ways that gay men would like. It’s the male power fantasy. They’re a cop and there thrusting. It’s not sensual. Watching an attractive man tango is far more erotic to most women than a man humping the floor in a cop outfit. And yet I’ve been to a strip club a few times (which is how I know they dress li…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 08:21 AM
3

No one can tell which videos I look at or like because TikTok doesn’t share that with other users. There’s hundreds of thousands more likes than comments and most people commenting are anonymous. People don’t use their real picture or name on TikTok as their avatar usually. It’s not Facebook. Most tiktokers are lurkers. They don’t use it as social media like Facebook.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:54 AM
3

If no one is watching it’s not a performance. They’re rewatching this TikTok over and over because it’s gratifying. It’s dopamine, essentially. They’re getting hits of pleasure from watching it over and over. No one is watching them and they wouldn’t play it over and over if they didn’t like what they were looking at. If you mean they’re performing for themselves, then why? Why look at shirtless men to perform heterosexuality? They could just have a boyfriend. It’s not considered essential to he…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:49 AM
5

Alone on their phone they’re watching and rewatching a reel as a “social performance?”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:43 AM
2

Oh she did a bad thing. Wouldn’t you agree a man who killed a baby is also mentally unwell? And not fit for parenthood? Not arguing. I want to point out this isn’t normalized or celebrated among pro-choice people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:24 AM
2

https://preview.redd.it/jpiydud8wu0h1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=858c5892371bb5b57a98dd2d5540e7ddfb7c01fd All the women thirsting after this man are doing so because this man is FINE. It’s not comphet, though that does exist for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:22 AM
2

Please provide a case of a doctor willingly performing such a thing. Just one case. She bought a drug from overseas. She took this into her own hands and clearly is mentally unwell. She had to give birth anyway. She wasn’t getting out of the pain of labor. She could have waited a week. She clearly just wanted to kill it. No medical facility is going to be doing this. I disagree with abortions performed after around 24 weeks for reasons other than health of the mother or because of fetal abnormal…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:11 AM
3

What a weird, hateful comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:51 AM
1

Aren’t most biologists women? Wait, googled it. Yup. More than half are women. Same with microbiologists. I was gonna say in my microbiology classes in college it was like all women. The comment you’re replying to is BS hateful misandrist crap. You don’t need to diminish the contributions of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:50 AM
1

And is that happening for any reason other than to save the life of the mother or because the child has severe abnormalities and wouldn’t live long and would suffer the whole time? Be serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:45 AM
3

Why do so many women make edits on TikTok of hot men then? Why is tumblr full of hot men? It’s definitely women doing that. The plank until failure trend isn’t done by celebrities. American women have no idea who these rugby players are or if they’re even professional players. They’re just hot. I’m sitting here telling you I find younger Caleb Landry Jones hauntingly handsome and your response is what? Kyle Gallner shirtless is the only reason I got through the Strange Darling movie. I hated tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:48 AM
1

Women who are envious of other women and women who get it in their head that all they have to offer men is their body don’t like being desired for their body. But normal women and men like being desired for their body, but additionally their company and companionship. I love that my boyfriend thinks I’m hot. I went out with him in the first place because he has long, thick gorgeous hair and really full lips. Pretty eyes too. He’s not as tall as most men I’ve dated but he’s a bit taller than aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:40 AM
0

Usually the guy let himself go or she’s with him for money. Hot people date hot people. Though I see a lot of fat white women with super fit and handsome black men where I live.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:31 AM
1

“Men inherently desire women” for what? For how they make them feel and what they can do right? Sexual desire is about how the other person makes you feel and what they do. I’m thinking about how hot my partner is and how much I love him during sex. Sometimes I don’t think about love if the sex is rough and then I’m just thinking about how hot he is and I often fantasize about giving him a blowjob while we have sex. The visual of giving him a blowjob in my mind sends me over the edge. But then I…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:25 AM
4

What precisely do you mean by “respect” you in the bedroom? If you just mean how much they want you, I think I agree. I feel the same way. For instance if my partner didn’t enthusiastically perform oral on me I’d think he didn’t value me that much tbh. Enthusiastic sex is essential to a happy relationship for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:23 AM
1

Do you think he’d stay with you if you cheated once and took ownership?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:19 AM
2

I can’t know for sure because I’ve never been cheated on as far as I know. I’d be absolutely shocked if my partner cheated on me but we’re very happy. If he cheated I think I’d leave because it would mean he wasn’t at all who I thought he was. I would be unhappy if I stayed because all trust would be broken.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:18 AM
4

I’d agree with this take. Leo doesn’t look natural next to his girlfriends. It’s far easier to believe a woman of any age would be very attracted to Brad Pitt.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:13 AM
14

I agree. I’d say most men peak looks wise in their mid to late 20s, but people who stay healthy look great all through their 30s if they were attractive in their 20s. In terms of emotional stability, many men in their 30s have chilled out on any anger or anxiety issues they had as young men. That’s a huge plus. I’m 40 and my long term partner is 35. His hair is less thick than it was when we met, and a big part of his initial appeal to me is he had long, thick gorgeous hair. It doesn’t change ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:10 AM
3

Some of them clearly do hate at least most men. I don’t see the point in denying that. But I’d say most feminists dislike a small minority of men vehemently and also a small minority of misogynistic women. They deny I suppose because they don’t realize how they come across or they think their hatred is justified. Another possibility is they say some of what they say to be provocative but don’t actually mean it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:52 AM
15

This is a fantasy in your head. And calling a person ruined because they’ve had sex they enjoyed before? What do you get from that? You feel not good enough so you call other people degrading things. And there’s no reason you can’t be great at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:19 AM
4

Does she eagerly have sex and get wet?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:59 AM
7

Wanting to pressure people to have kids in order to survive retirement is wild. That is not a recipe for healthy families.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:47 AM
18

Don’t get with a woman who is not attracted to you. That’s a totally normal baseline requirement in a relationship. Why you care about people’s sexual history so much is strange to me but obviously don’t be with someone who doesn’t want you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:44 AM
1

This is exactly it. I don’t know why people feel the need to claim it’s because of money. That’s a factor for sure and I’m positive it prevents parents from having several kids, but usually people who want one or two kids just have them anyway, regardless of finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:41 AM
27

We don’t. The people I know without kids just didn’t want kids. People blame the economy but poor people continue to have many kids. In countries with free healthcare, free higher education and just generally a robust social safety net birth rates are as low or lower than they are in place like the USA. People who want kids generally will have them. It turns out, given the choice, many people just don’t want children. That’s ok. You know when I was a child over population was the big concern. Si…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:37 AM
–

Oh yes I have noticed this! I need to remember it when I’m browsing for it though
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:13 PM
–

Sexuality in general is complicated. Men are more likely to have fetishes. You won’t hear much about women having a foot fetish or cake sitting fetish or balloon fetish. As for lesbian porn: I usually watch solo men, straight or gay porn but when I’ve watched lesbian porn it’s specially for better shots of cunnilingus. I’d rather it be a man performing but it’s difficult to find porn with good shots of men performing oral on women. So I just focus on the mouth and tongue, not the face.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:35 AM
8

You’ve never heard a woman say she likes tall, dark and handsome men? Really? The percentage depends. When I’m in Germany a great deal of men are very attractive because the population is thin and fit. Here in America, it’s significantly less. I don’t find obesity attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:20 PM
18

Well I’m here to tell you women mean they want a man they find attractive sexually to be nice (kind is a better descriptor).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:53 PM
3

That sounds wonderful. I’m glad it helped you. Just hope the misogynistic elements didn’t rub off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:51 PM
1

No one reads porn mags or Tiger Beat anymore. According to google 33 percent of women watch porn every week. On my side of the internet jokes from women about “alphabet leg tattoo guy” and “men with unusually small hands” abound. Owen Grey has this tattoo and Small Hands is the other guy’s porn name. Before them it was James Deen the porn actor that had a predominately female audience. God I miss him in his youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:47 PM
2

They are. When I was in school girls put the Abercrombie and Fitch men from their bags on our textbooks as covers. I remember the boys all told us “they’re gay.” Apparently looking good to women means being gay. Those model were unknown nobodies but they were hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:16 PM
3

You said there’s not way to monetize men’s bodies: There is a way to monetize men’s bodies to women. That’s why Brad Pitt gets all the plastic surgery he gets. To stay handsome and keep getting movie roles that will bring in an audience. Yungblud is an artist right now who seems to have a predominately female audience. It’s because he has a gorgeous body, full lips, and pretty eyes that look great in eyeliner. Women go to his concerts. It makes him money. Just because women visit sex workers les…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:12 PM
1

Never mind I misunderstood. I thought you were implying I was answering you on the wrong thread, but you weren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:08 PM
2

You want to explain away every example I have by status, but if I tell you about the underemployed hot as fuck bartender I know who lives in a studio apartment and still does cocaine in his 30s you won’t care either. But he’s drowning in pussy. Because he’s hot. I use known men because they are known. Plenty of gay men live in supportive communities and are out. Other gay men live in conservative ones and stay in the closet. Plenty of women (like me) were raised by extremely progressive people a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:00 PM
3

My comment is relevant to your comment. Don’t have a response?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:43 PM
3

Are you really arguing that actually I’m wrong and women can’t get causally sex more easily than men? Plenty of gay men still die in the closet to this day. Social expectations clearly influence behavior. Celebrity obsession: I’m listing conventionally extremely hot men. Do you think maybe part of why they became celebrities was because they’re hot to women? Elvis takes my breath away. Women threw their parties at him. Rudolph Valentino was so beautiful it hurts and when he died there was worldw…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:39 PM
3

I think you’re trying to say a man’s looks can’t make a woman’s pussy wet. Porn watcher here: yeah they can. Those men in porn aren’t high status and I know nothing of them (though small hands, the girthmaster and Owen Grey seem cool and I follow them on socials). I like how they look when they’re fucking. Or standing. Or running. Or chopping wood. Or planking until failure. It turns me on. I was raised in a really sex positive household and my mom openly sexually objectified men so I learned it…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:28 PM
3

As for sex workers I think it’s two fold: First, women can get casual sex easily because men have lower standards than women. Second, women aren’t primed for the idea of having sex with a man who isn’t actually wanting to fuck them. Men are more likely to be socialized with the idea that they have to buy sex from a woman anyway, so why not just see a sex worker since “I’ll be paying for it anyway.” Paying for sex from someone who possibly finds you gross is something women are going to be less l…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:16 PM
5

But those men don’t want or even know their fans. They’re just gorgeous men. They’re known specifically for being gorgeous. I understand what you’re talking about. Most people are aroused by being the object of desire. That’s why on Reddit when women ask men “what can a woman do to make sex better” the top answers are always show desire and enthusiasm. It’s why incels usually don’t want to visit sex workers. They want to be desired. This doesn’t erase sexual desire for the other person. It’s not…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:53 AM
5

You really must not be on my corner of TikTok. It’s mainly women salivating over shirtless men “planking until failure” and rugby players lifting each other up by their shorts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:49 AM
4

I don’t think kpop fans would tell you those men aren’t objects of desire. I’m on TikTok and TikTok knows what type of man I like because it’s like an all knowing god. I watch edits of hot men made by women and the comments are so feral and clearly from women based on the anatomy they are describing that is reacting. If you get on the side of the internet obsessed with Kyle Gallner for instance you’ll see he’s very much seen as the object of desire. Plenty of women do conceptualize themselves as…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:27 AM
7

Weird because I watch gay porn not lesbian porn and I’m a straight woman. I have sex with men because they’re hot to look at. I assume any straight woman attractive enough to get men she’s also attracted to feel the same. I’ve seen some women say men’s bodies do nothing for them. I assume those women are either not actually straight or are unable to attract men with sexy bodies. Not all women can.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:20 AM
5

They aren’t being used. You can’t be used for sex if it’s consensual. Now sometimes people lie in order to get sex and hide their real intentions. Usually though it’s just after sex people realize there isn’t much compatibility. No one is used in this scenario even if men’s and women’s feelings can get hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:39 AM
15

Get a vasectomy. Now you’ve controlled your reproduction. Easy. Put sperm in a sperm bank of you want kids later.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:36 AM
4

Never seen a blue pill person claim women don’t care about looks. I’ve never met anyone in real life ever who claimed women don’t care about looks and most admit that most of us care a great deal about looks. Normal men and women with options just also care about personality. Anyone with a scrap of self esteem wants to like their partner’s personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:43 AM
1

Women who don’t orgasm every time they have sex, you mean. That’s what being trained to be passive does. I cum multiple times during penetrative sex and oral sex because I am not passive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:20 PM
–

Because black and white thinking is a cognitive distortion that harms people. There is a well established link in the literature to anxiety and depression. Also eating disorders, perfectionism, social division, reduced resilience, avoidance, procrastination, fragile trust, conflict escalation, unrealistic expectations, communication breakdown… I could continue for some time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:18 PM
2

Your answer might work but not as well as others work. This is exactly my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:50 PM
3

No one does ask about in my circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:34 PM
6

“Submit to his sexual power” wow. “He can do whatever he wants with her.” Why isn’t it ever that he is submitting to her sexual power and she can do whatever she wants with him with you guys? Have you never hooked up with a sexually confident and liberated woman who cums a lot and communicates well and isn’t a starfish? Is this fanfiction in y’all’s heads about “chads” just treating women like shit? To be frank, I almost always felt like men I hooked up with were just looking to please me. But I…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:32 PM
4

In engineering or physics you can possibly think objectively. You can’t actually think objectively about much in life, and that’s helpful to remember for more optimum outcomes. You can observe people all you want but you won’t actually understand their motivations from just watching them. They themselves often don’t understand them. What exactly can be said black and white about sexuality? Black and white models aren’t supported by evidence as you know. Calibrating accordingly but still keeping …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:22 PM
1

In engineering or physics you can possibly think objectively. You can’t actually think objectively about much in life, and that’s helpful to remember for more optimum outcomes. You can observe people all you want but you won’t actually understand their motivations from just watching them. They themselves often don’t understand them. And what exactly can be said black and white about sexuality? Black and white models aren’t supported by evidence as you know. Calibrating accordingly but still keep…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:21 PM
–

People in general aren’t usually great about stating in public what attracts them because it’s taboo and rude. People don’t want to hear how you’re really doing when they ask how you’re doing and they don’t actually want to know who you want to fuck. If I was honest in public it would be off putting to many people. “Tall, long hair, wears eyeliner at home for me or ideally even out at night, legs a shape I like, wide shoulders, is fun, is not stupid, fucks me in a way I like ideally with a sligh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:34 AM
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I like being sexy for anyone tbh. I don’t want to be harassed. But I love the idea of other people finding me sexy just like I love the idea of them finding me funny or kind or stylish. It’s exciting and enjoyable. I like discretely looking at sexy men in my daily life. It brightens my day. Why wouldn’t I want to brighten other people’s day? I’ve never been with a man who doesn’t consider my sexual pleasure and I’ve been with over 50 men. I don’t know if this is because I only date liberal or le…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:14 AM
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Exactly. The women continuously picking criminals and assholes are often criminals and assholes themselves or have such cripplingly low self esteem or intelligence that average men should avoid them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:20 PM
–

You’d never personally dated what kind of college educated woman exactly? One who was enthusiastic about sex but wanted to wait more than six hours to have it after meeting?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:10 PM
0

First kiss: maybe 15? First relationship:18 First casual sex: also 18 Relationship number: like 8 Sexual partners: between 50-75 I’d guess Longest single: a year Longest sexless: also a year I find sex and dating very fun and to me they are important The best experiences in life sometimes involved sex or romance. I’ve had great experiences on my own too. Travel, architecture, friendships, nature, etc. all these things also bring me joy. For context I’m 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 04:15 AM
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Oh men can be Karens. Anyone who has worked customer service will tell you. Some of the biggest asshole patients I’ve had as a nurse were men. It’s more common for men to be assholes to nurses at least in my experience. When I worked customer service it was equal parts men and women being assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:32 AM
2

I don’t even believe in a God. That was a joke. But I do think men have much more beautiful bodies than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 12:19 PM
0

I think women’s bodies are kinda ugly tbh. Men’s bodies are way more aesthetically pleasing. How anyone can look at a body that resembles the statue of David and not notice it’s the superior body and God’s favorite is beyond me. Men don’t have cellulite like women and everything is smooth and tight… This idea women are prettier is shit propaganda from straight men who can’t imagine being a straight woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 11:23 PM
1

Your chance of being murdered in the USA is higher than your chance of dying of an STI. And those who do die almost invariably just didn’t seek treatment or weren’t compliant with their care plan.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:32 PM
1

available research shows that women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner (husband, boyfriend, same-sex partner, or ex) than by anyone else (Catalano, 2013; Violence Policy Center, 2015). Approximately 2 out of 5 female murder victims are killed by an intimate partner (Cooper & Smith, 2011). In 2013, fifteen (15) times as many females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers. For victims who knew their offenders, 62% were wives, common-law wives, ex-wive…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:29 PM
1

STIs can be treated. Being stuck in a terrible abusive marriage will mess with a woman’s long term mental health more than a course of antibiotics or antiretrovirals. “If they could commit they would” is clearly implying they cannot commit, not that they don’t want to. Where is your proof women who say they don’t want kids just don’t want them because they “don’t have a man?” There’s a lot of unfounded assumptions here. And single mother does not mean just unmarried. It’s a woman raising a child…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:50 PM
1

Single moms abound in many economically poor demographics in the USA. Plenty of women will have kids without a partner. Women aren’t having kids mainly because we don’t want to. In places in Scandinavia where women are paid to stay home after their free childbirth and college is free and childcare is subsidized etc etc many women still don’t want to have kids and aren’t having that at replacement rate. Many married women there don’t want kids. Many married women in the USA don’t want kids. It’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:10 PM
1

People are assaulted far more (and killed) by their husbands or boyfriend than by casual partners and I know you know this. Your intimate partner, not a stranger, is the most likely person to kill you if you’re a woman. Would you say marriage is reckless? No. Yes men are “less dangerous” if it’s casual. You can google this. Women in DV shelters aren’t running from a hook up. My point is in monogamous relationships as a woman there are risks. But I’m not some femcel trying to tell women to not ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:50 PM
1

I’m going to address CBT and DBT therapy as these are the models I’ve used most at work and personally. Therapy is about problem solving. It’s not about getting supported. A good therapist will straight up hurt your feelings with honesty. Validating distorted thinking of a client is harmful and no ethical therapist would do this. A good therapist isn’t there to validate you. Validating you is just basically telling you all your thoughts about life are true. But you’re in therapy. You likely have…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:38 PM
1

So no evidence. I’m glad you see that the point of monogamy was largely just men controlling women’s sexuality due to the advent of property at one point in history. But now we are returning to normal as now women can own property. So now monogamy in the strictest sense doesn’t appeal to most non religious people. Again. You just don’t like people not behaving how you like. Which is fine. It doesn’t make it wrong. You are hiding behind the idea of recklessness because it bothers you the exact wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:26 PM
1

I’ve never had an STI and I’ve never been in a situation during casual sex that put me in danger. Meanwhile one of my first boyfriends strangled me until I passed out repeatedly at the end of our relationship. I found out my monogamous fiancé when I was 20 was hiding a herpes infection. I had a ring on my finger and one day he had an outbreak and admitted he just thought he’d never have one again so didn’t tell me. I got tested and don’t have HSV 1 or HSV 2. I don’t even have HPV (get vaccinated…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:13 PM
1

You believe what you like is superior. That’s all I need to know. Don’t have evidence in societies where say polyandry exists that there are poorer outcomes and people trust less? Can you provide that or does multiple husbands just not appeal to you so you’ve decided it must be true? By the way there are no documented matriarchal societies, only matrilineal or matrillocal which laypeople often confuse with the term matriarchal. If you actually studied anthropology you’d know this.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:01 PM
2

“Self control” only makes sense as a term in this context if having casual sex was something I didn’t want to do but instead compulsively dit it anyway despite negative consequences. You’re using value laden language which is why you seem upset. If I eat chocolate on Easter I’m not “not practicing self control.” I want to eat some chocolate on Easter with my family. What if I said “you practice monogamy because you’re too insecure and uptight to enjoy sex with people. You don’t like how you look…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:19 PM
1

Do you believe societies that practice monogamy are superior to all the documented modern societies that do not? There are many famous sources in Asia where women have multiple lovers or husbands that have perfectly fine social cohesion. You believe what you like is superior?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:13 PM
1

Marriage exists for the inheritance of property, and women were also property. When humans were all nomadic and there was no concept of stored wealth or inheritance, marriage wasn’t an institution. You think sex is gross outside monogamy. Most humans don’t. That’s why sex sells. One of the leading researchers in this field, Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, describes humans as having a "dual human reproductive strategy" consisting of serial social monogamy (forming pair bonds to raise children) a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:53 PM
2

Yeah validated always but special sometimes. Most men in my experience would rather be singled out for casual sex. Being just the next in line or who happened to be next to her while she was drunk isn’t as validating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:26 PM
3

Sure. It’s one reason it’s fairly easy to have casual sex with men because men feel special getting chosen. Women don’t usually feel special being chosen for sex because we’re told all men want sex all the time (which I found out as a high libido woman is unfortunately not true of men).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:07 PM
1

You are saying polyamory is reckless, but it’s not inherently reckless. Meanwhile unprotected sex in an ostensibly monogamous relationship can be reckless. Polyamory also is not cheating and that’s obvious. You can’t do cheat when the rules are it’s fine to sleep with others. Prep exists for high risk populations. Many of my gay friends are on it. HIV is a livable condition now. I’m a nurse and I’ve treated maybe 2 AIDS patients in the past ten years and both were homeless and just didn’t get th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:33 PM
1

But he’s not the smartest, strongest, funniest, or most conventionally attractive. Your future wife won’t be either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:40 PM
1

You’re lucky we do or men who aren’t perfect would be single forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:26 PM
1

That’s ok. I enjoy male beauty in a general sense. If you don’t want to enjoy female beauty that’s ok too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:02 AM
1

Look, don’t touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:49 AM
2

I don’t. I’m self confident. But I’m also self-aware. I wouldn’t want my partner to compare himself to gorgeous male celebrities either. But he knows he’s not Henry Cavill and that’s fine. There’s more to life than being the hottest looking person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:47 AM
1

I didn’t say I took pride in it. It simply is a fact of life for women and men as you say. I don’t have to fight it. I’m not in danger of cheating. Admiring the beauty, intelligence and/or wit of men other than my partner is totally fine. I don’t care if he thinks Nikki Glaser is funnier than me and has better legs. Why does that matter? I don’t want a delusional partner and I don’t want him to ask me to self-delude.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:45 AM
2

My figure isn’t the issue. I have a nice figure. I don’t have the face of the most beautiful people in the world. No amount of plastic surgery would turn me into Natalie Portman or Margot Robbie or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:38 AM
1

It’s different for face and body. The men with the most mesmerizing faces to me often don’t have the sexiest bodies. Maybe young Brad Pitt is the exception. How are they different? They are different in many ways. They’re just more striking to me on a purely visual level. I enjoy watching them. They’re like artistic masterpieces that also turn me on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:31 AM
2

On a purely visual level he isn’t that. He’s also not the smartest or funniest or strongest man I’ve ever known. I don’t choose my partner based on how he ranks against every single other person. If men and women did that the human race would die out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:30 AM
2

Thank you. I’m no Monica Bellucci myself. He’s too polite to ever say but I’m not dumb enough to think he doesn’t realize I’m not winning the Miss World title anytime soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:37 AM
2

Yeah he’s handsome and sexy as hell. But he’s not the most handsome or the most sexy man I’ve seen. Not at all. I’ve seen men who take my breath away.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:26 AM
3

It looks really good honestly
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:11 AM
2

Rooting for you little mouse man!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:38 AM
1

Yeah it sometimes bothers me I can’t have the men I most physically desire and want to just stare at all day. But there is something amazing about the connection you get from a loving committed relationship. It’s such a relaxing feeling and the sex just gets better and better. My partner is handsome and sexy as hell so him not being a model just doesn’t matter to me even if having a model would be amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:37 AM
1

Sometimes it really just is the nearest man if he’s attractive enough (but not some “chad”). Story time: The last time I had casual sex (long ago) I was on vacation. 3 men approached me over the course of 2 nights. The first night a man I didn’t find attractive wanted to buy me drinks and I turned him down. Then a cute enough Irish guy flirted hard and skillfully and we ended up going back to his room. He gave amazing oral sex. Second night a man who reminding me a lot of anthony Bourdain (who I…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:33 AM
–

I’m not poly, but I’ve casually dated a lot. Has nothing to do with self-control or an inability to commit. I’m picky and enjoyed refining my tastes and experiencing novelty. Now I’m settled down in a committed monogamous relationship. My partner has a similar dating history as me. Why are you so upset with people? You’re using extremely judgmental language.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:21 AM
3

In my experience women who have a pattern of dating men who are emotionally unavailable are also emotionally unavailable. A great deal of women are emotionally unavailable and that’s why they’re attracted consistently to emotionally unavailable men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:48 AM
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Except you’ll never really know if you’re in a monogamous relationship. Go to any clinic and see how many married people, especially women, end up with STIs because they trusted their partner. ETA: Wasn’t there a study that showed poly people have similar or lower rates of STIs precisely because they always use condoms unlike a lot of ostensibly monogamous people and they get tested more? Googled it and yup https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26395880/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pol…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:34 AM
–

You’ll never know if your relationship is truly closed unless you keep your partner in a cage. Condomless hetero sex is always reckless. But being reckless is fun!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:33 AM
–

I get the logic but you’re somewhat incorrect. Some of the casual sex I’ve engaged in was casual precisely because he wasn’t that desirable. If he were so incredibly desirable I’d pursue something more serious. Most of the casual sex I’ve had was with men I found physically attractive but their personality or their lifestyle (too much drinking for instance) left a lot to be desired. Other times I just wasn’t in a place in life to be in a serious relationship with anybody, but often it was casual…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 02:29 AM
0

Hard disagree. In college when the guys around me were fit I found way, way, way more guys attractive. When I go to Italy I find way, way, way more guys attractive. I grew up in the Deep South in the USA. Once I left for a major city outside the south suddenly men all were much more fit and groomed and suddenly I had way more dating options that were appealing to me. I already know what I find attractive. When I’m in an environment where such men aren’t around I simply don’t have dating options.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:01 PM
1

Men’s hobbies aren’t arousing to me. Attractive for a long term relationship doesn’t mean “arousing.” Beyond looks, pitch to voice, smell, and just vibes I don’t find anything “arousing” about my partner. But I find his intelligence attractive and it maintains attraction to the relationship as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:50 PM
1

That doesn’t change that physical attraction (looks) is the primary stimulus of attraction for humans. Things like being emotionally intelligent don’t create attraction. They build on it. I know some women are going to tell you otherwise. Those women usually are unaware of just how much the don’t care about the emotional intelligence of a man they don’t find sexually desirable. Also, it’s pretty cross cultural that women find a specific shoulder to waist ratio attractive on men as well as health…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:25 PM
3

Agreed. A lot of it is lack of introspection/metacognition etc. Many men and women don’t really think about the difference between a thought and a feeling. A lot of people call their thoughts “feelings.” This isn’t me just being pedantic. It’s very helpful to notice what is an emotion and what is a thought. Our thoughts tend to be what create our feelings, not the other way around. Chemistry isn’t really “just a feeling.” It’s a feeling that arises because of our thoughts about the other person.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:19 PM
–

And this is why I encourage men to learn about subtle makeup like BB cream, concealer, light eyeliner etc. It improves men’s appearance so much. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lets-face-it/202211/makeup-increases-attractiveness-in-male-faces/amp Conservative women or women who want to be the “princess” in a relationship will dislike a man making himself more attractive but I’ll never relate to someone who wishes their partner remain less attractive. Reeks of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:07 PM
1

Nah a big problem for me when dating was men weren’t trying to be sexy to women and a big part of that is fitness, hair styling and flattering well fitted clothes. It’s true people have to be more than attractive to get commitment from a woman, but you need to actually attract women in the first place to get a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:03 PM
-1

Men improving their health and looks is usually a positive thing. Attractive men are treated better and overall health improves mental health greatly. Shoulder pads aren’t “pathetic.” They used to be common. Honestly learning how to do subtle looking natural makeup would help men a lot. A little BB cream to hide a red nose and some light eyeliner and lip stain can make an average man really pop. And for god’s sake, grow out your hair if you have nice thick hair. Just growing it out a few inches …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:00 PM
1

lol except I never thought a makeup collection attracted men. I know that not being a broke dumb bitch helps me attract better men. My collection of mold-o-Rama wax figures from zoos and museums hasn’t ever gotten me laid nor has nail polish. I’m not confused about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 02:56 AM
3

What is the point of this comment? You’re saying women aren’t interesting and don’t have hobbies but then you admit you don’t seek out interesting women with hobbies. Like… ok? So do you see how you have crafted your own fate with women? And to be fair: I don’t really care much about men’s hobbies. I was attracted to my man because he’s my type physically and he’s just fun to be around. But I don’t shit on men and claim because my man doesn’t have many hobbies it means all men don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 01:15 AM
2

I understand that. I point out it’s that I’m visually attracted to long fingers and arms and legs because women finding height attractive is often reduced to a feeling of safety and it ignores that we just like looking at these thing and aren’t consciously thinking of safety. Straight men find wide hips on women attractive and we don’t pretend men are envisioning a live childbirth without complications when they look at a woman’s hips.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:11 PM
3

You think they’re worthless degrees. The people with the degrees may or may not. I mean my last boyfriend was an art adjunct professor at three universities with 50k in debt from getting his MFA. But I’m glad he got it because it allows him to teach art at the college level and that’s what he loves doing besides making art. If you’re only finding women with no interests, no social life and who are financially irresponsible that’s on you for not moving on. Clubs and art classes and cooking classe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:08 PM
3

I didn’t want to date a doctor or lawyer per se. I’m saying suddenly they wanted to date me once I was 30 and a nurse. My first long term boyfriend who pursued me hard after graduation was a surgeon. Then later a lawyer and then a man in finance. Now I’m with a man in the strip club business who is 1000x better than that ego maniac surgeon. I don’t care about dating a high status man. I care that he’s handsome, smart, kind, financially stable, interesting and fun. Oh and loves me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:00 PM
3

Women with herpes, no social life and no interests who are financially irresponsible and are miserable to deal with. Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:24 AM
2

So you only attract women with no hobbies, poor social skills, and who can’t make it in college and can’t support themselves? That’s sad. Even sadder you’d settle for such a terrible woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:17 AM
6

When I was dating multiple men, yes. I don’t think about their “status” as you say though. Once I’m in a committed monogamous relationship obviously I’m not ranking men as I’ve chosen one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:26 AM
1

I’ll disagree with one point: Being tall is just visually attractive. Tall men are able to hurt me more and I’ve literally never been in a situation where I needed physical protection. Yet I love looking at long legs on a man. And long arms. And a long torso. Saying I like tall men to feel protected is like saying men like wide hips so they feel like their children will be easily born without complications. That’s the origin of the preference but in the moment it’s just that it looks good. Sure.…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:50 AM
3

It’s ballpark. I think he said it was more like 100. So 100s unintentionally was an exaggeration. I’ve slept with probably 50 men. Also ballpark. I prefer to be with men who have sex drives that match mine and usually I find that in men who dated a lot when they were young.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:45 AM
1

You want to show that he wouldn’t date a stripper. But he would date a stripper because he has before.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:06 AM
4

Why is it nonsense?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:03 AM
1

I’m a medical professional making six figures my dude. Why on earth would I be a stripper. What is this even about? You want to prove what here exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:01 AM
1

According to red pill logic he’s in his prime. I guess since you’re no pill you don’t buy the idea that 35 year old men want a 19 year old virgin and if they’re a high status successful business owner that’s who they’ll wife up. I think we just like and love each other, dear.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:32 AM
3

You act like he grabbed onto me out of desperation. This is all in your head.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:16 AM
7

I just asked him if he’d date a dumb woman and he said “I have and I’m not gonna lie there were challenges.” So thanks for opening up this interesting convo between us. My first boyfriend barely spoke English but he was gorgeous so I can’t judge. Also I have no idea how smart he was because we couldn’t talk very much. We just had sex and never fought. That’s all I needed at 18. Edited to add: Oh he clarified it was only very short term dating. Makes sense. Meanwhile I was with a man I couldn’t t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:10 AM
4

This is weird fan fiction about my life. I’m guessing it’s a revenge fantasy most likely too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:58 AM
7

We know intelligence doesn’t make men erect and women’s pussies wet. It just makes for a better relationship, better parenting, better problem solving with life’s obstacles.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:53 AM
11

Because he loves me. Why would my age matter if I’m attractive and he loves me? Before me he dated a stripper. He wasn’t against it. I understand your comment about strippers and bartenders. I’m not playing stupid. I’m just pointing out he has dated a stripper.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:45 AM
7

Idk man I think he just might be in love with me like he says. Before he met me he was dating a stripper. There are all types of strippers. Some really are in law school. Some are addicted to drugs and doing other sex work on the side. He wasn’t against dating a stripper who doesn’t do drugs or do sex work. He just met me and the rest is history. Five years is whatever. He gets all my cultural references in jokes. As long as he gets my jokes and laughs I’m good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:42 AM
10

My dad wouldn’t shut up about dating a doctor after he got divorced from my mom. Then he got with the dean of a university and bragged about that. It’s about status as well as money. Personally I date a man in the strip club business now so I’m not bragging at dinner parties exactly. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:40 AM
14

My partner has slept with 100s of women. He’s in the strip club business and is around naked women all the time and has dated strippers. He’s conventionally handsome, tall, and charming. He could be swimming in pussy if he wanted. Instead he chose a me: a woman slightly older than him (he’s 35 and I’m 40) who is also a fucking burn victim (28 percent of my body). Does he think I’m beautiful? Yes. And I do have a great figure. Could he get with a much much hotter woman? Definitely. He’s with me b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:51 AM
1

Yes. When I met my boyfriend I wanted to just have casual sex with him. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Several months later we became inseparable. Now we’re in love. What changed is I got to know him. I wasn’t planning to do that. I just saw a cute tall Latino man with long hair (my exact type) and wanted to sleep with him. But he had to go and turn out to be amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:46 AM
2

It’s violently homophobic. She’s threatening violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:44 AM
5

Sure. Men and women both care about looks most. Having money is less important but makes both men and women a bit more attractive. “Good looks was the primary stimulus of attraction for both men and women, and a person with good earning prospects or ambition tended to be liked as well… most noteworthy, the earning-power effect as well as the good-looks effect didn’t differ for men and women.” From the link to the Northwestern study in my original comment. Also: Replicating previous research, par…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:41 AM
18

<image> You don’t sound religious here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:30 AM
5

Most people enjoy money since it buys goods and services. Going down in lifestyle for your partner is something that often leads to resentment, especially if the other person just doesn’t work. Ah you’re religious. That makes sense. Is this god of the male gender? Or is this god genderless? I’m doubting your god is female.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:55 AM
11

But seriously why don’t you care about your girlfriend’s hobbies, maturity, skills, etc? Why would you be fine with a broke woman? Do you have low self esteem or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:50 AM
12

Men understate how much they care, but they do care. Comparisons between stated and revealed preferences shed light on gender differences and similarities: For attractiveness, men’s and (especially) women’s stated preferences underestimated revealed preferences (i.e., they thought attractiveness was less important than it actually was). For earning potential, men’s stated preferences underestimated—and women’s stated preferences overestimated—revealed preferences. Implications for the literature…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:48 AM
13

RNs are also stereotyped heavily as promiscuous. I got better options because I then had a college degree and a six figure income. Upper-middle class men tend to expect their wives to be educated and have a career that contributes financially. I also had much worse dating options when I worked at a bakery and when I worked at blockbuster.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:32 AM
15

You don’t care about a woman’s social skills, hobbies, life experience and maturity? You don’t care if your woman is broke and works a shitty job she hates that doesn’t pay her bills? Why not? Dating gets better for everyone as we get older and more confident. My access to high quality men rose after I went back to school to become an RN. When I was a bartender, lawyers and doctors didn’t take me seriously. Once I went to therapy suddenly my relationships were easier and stronger. If I had to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:24 AM
2

I’m in a committed relationship. I still think about sex with other men. When I’m at a bar and see a good looking man I enjoy the view but I don’t usually like literally envision giving him a blow job because I’m trying to be social and present with my friends. Later while alone I might envision it. What triggers the shift? Honestly my mood. If I’m feeling really sexual I find a lot of men attractive. If I’m not feeling sexual the man has to be my type to trigger anything sexual in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:02 AM
8

Yeah so paying for pussy doesn’t count as making wet. Women don’t make men they are attracted to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:55 AM
3

I sit on TikTok at work when I’m bored looking at edits on TikTok of male actors I find irresistibly hot. I know the creators are usually women and it’s women I see in the comments. Why do you think I stare at a shirtless Kyle Gallner longingly? Because I’m a lesbian?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:53 AM
2

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:50 AM
8

It’s not sexually arousing. Is intelligence attractive to men and women? Sure. So is charisma. But I have to disagree that ambition sexually arouses women. Work ethic??? You think that makes pussies wet? Work ethic doesn’t attract most people. It only helps a relationship run more smoothly sometimes. Most people don’t want to live in a filthy house. But “chore play” doesn’t actually cause sexual arousal, it simply prevents resentment. Men and women often don’t want to have sex with someone they …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:43 AM
26

Yeah that’s when everyone peaks physically. Wealth never made a pussy wet. It just makes some women want access to that wealth. Plenty of men are looking for a nurse or a purse too. Plenty of women are willing to be used for their money just like plenty of men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:19 AM
1

only 35% of husbands in their first marriage have a wife three or more years younger than them About 8.5% of married couples in the U.S. feature a husband who is 10 or more years older than his wife In the United States, approximately 10% to 15% of opposite-sex marriages feature a wife who is older than her husband by three or more years. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/08/15/a-growing-share-of-us-husbands-and-wives-are-roughly-the-same-age/ 10-20 year gap is indeed rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:49 PM
1

Men rarely marry women that much younger but when they do they’re usually poorer men and they likely will get divorced, as shown by the numbers in the second link in the comment you’re responded to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:21 PM
1

Jordan wasn’t a sex symbol. He was an athlete. Even the male sex symbols who deny having a transplant like Matthew McConaughey admit to using medications to grow back their hair. But they probably had transplants. Hair transplants are big business for a reason: https://www.dentalhairclinicturkey.com/celebrity-hair-transplants/
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:17 PM
1

Using data on 1.4 million married men in the 2019-2023 American Community Survey and their wives … Overwhelmingly, it turns out that the men with the most relationship options (wealthier, higher-social-status men) marry women similar in age to them and with high educational attainment. That elite men are going to “marry a Waffle House waitress” (as the pejorative online stereotype puts it) because she’s pretty is a myth. Instead, relationships with large age gaps are more common for low-income m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:04 PM
1

…. Shaving it clean means the man looks bald. It doesn’t help beyond making men look less diseased. Balding (depending on the pattern it takes) makes men look diseased which is even worse than just no hair. Still, most women are attracted to thick, shiny, healthy hair with good volume. It’s a sign of virility. There’s a reason so many famous actors get hair transplants.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 10:43 AM
1

There is no gender aging gap. Unless you mean men’s refractory periods get longer after 30 and they don’t get as hard. Some women don’t get as wet or wet at all in their 50s. There are pills and lube for both issues. By the way obviously people who like having short term casual relationships are fine with going younger or even prefer it. Before I met my 35 year old boyfriend at 40, I was sleeping with a 28 year old. I wasn’t going to get serious with him, just like Bezos and Gates were never gon…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 10:31 AM
1

His current girlfriend Paula Hurd is 63. She started dating Gates when she was 60. Why does this bother you? At least you acknowledge Bezos is with a woman close to his age.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 10:19 AM
1

No. That wouldn’t be ideal. What’s the point of a perfect body if I can’t enjoy it? I’d be frustrated and resentful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:03 AM
0

Gates keeps going for women his age. Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:12 PM
–

Well we will always have the planking until failure videos at least
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:04 PM
–

Well they actually moan when they’re solo. I hate how in straight porn the men are bored, silent statues most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:58 PM
–

Explain why women loved watching Jacob Elordi in Wuthering Heights. That movie wasn’t romantic. It was erotic. He was a terrible person in that movie (so was Kathy).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:56 PM
–

Oh yes and I love how men’s cocks look. Women’s genitalia just don’t do really anything for me in porn. They just exist. Sometimes I like imagining myself in the woman’s place but I’m looking at the man and using my imagination to picture myself with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:54 PM
–

Nah my focus is on the male form and I like gang bang porn where the woman doesn’t make noise but the men do. I also watch a lot of gay porn. I don’t find women’s bodies pleasing to look at at all. They look awkward to me. Men look like gods to me. Roman statues. Aesthetically extremely pleasing and sensual.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:41 PM
3

Sure. People looked down on Anna Nicole Smith for this reason. Her husband was so old people wondered about his mental faculties.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 08:07 AM
13

I see plenty of women and men loving assholes. The biggest bitches I’ve ever worked with always had husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:59 AM
25

Abusers seek people to abuse. Ramirez wasn’t abusing his wife. He was raping and then murdering elderly women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:58 AM
5

Only a really immature person would think a 40 year old and a 20 year old are equally likely to have power in a relationship with an older person.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:04 AM
3

Try opening the study again. It’s all in the links. I’m going to put this simply: women also don’t find money sexually arousing. Money never has made a pussy wet. Being tall, having broad shoulders and a narrow waist, thick healthy hair, nice smile, clear smooth skin, deep voice….. these things make pussies wet. Men with options, like women with options, enjoy resources. Everyone likes money. Communists like money. So given the option, men like money and they like their partner to not bring them…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:01 AM
2

Incorrect. Younger people in general are more visually and sexually attractive on first sight. Perhaps you were just unaware of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:55 AM
2

Gates had an affair with a woman older than his wife. A woman who is also rich and in the computer business. Now he’s dating a woman close to his ie age.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 12:53 AM
5

I agree it does not automatically mean a malicious power imbalance. Hundred percent agree. Especially if there isn’t a pattern of the older person seeking out much younger partners. Sometimes people just fall in love organically and it just so happens there is a large age gap. I love love. Sometimes things just happen and not everyone has a ton of opportunities for connection. I do tend to connect easily with men though so for me to choose such a young man would be very odd to most people and ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:19 PM
15

In my experience for men and women, if the younger one is like 19, 20, 21 …. This actually is often true. Normal 35 year olds with options aren’t trying to get in LTRs with 19 year olds. They usually are immature or they’re significantly behind in life in some way. That’s why a 30 year old won’t date them. I’ve seen this happen with my own eyes. Also when I was 19 I dated a 30 year old and realized eventually indeed he was handsome but he was secretly a drug addict who lived with his dad in a st…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 01:29 PM
6

Depends on the age. Being weird about a 5 year gap is silly. Even ten years isn’t strange if you’re talking a 50 and 60 year old. The reason people shame older women for dating very young men but not the young men for dating a cougar is the same reasoning. People suspect the older person has more power and is manipulating or abusing the younger person. It’s correct enough of the time for people to stereotype. I have trouble believing you don’t understand this. I had an opportunity to date a 23 y…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 01:23 PM
8

At my work a woman in her mid 30s married a 21 year old. People absolutely think she’s messed up and controlling him and people talk shit about her regularly. Why bring up men’s looks? Because young people are more attractive. Period.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:18 PM
13

Yes. Older people have more life experience and usually many more resources than 19 year olds. Young women don’t have more options to leave. They’re less likely to be able to escape for financial reasons. But you know this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:16 PM
4

I actually don’t have HPV! I had the full vaccination series twice. Of course, that doesn’t protect against all strains. But, my gyno last winter tested me and said I have no strains. I asked her about this considering how many sexual partners I’ve had. She told me I’m just one of those people who clears the virus most likely. I’ve also never had a cold sore and tested negative for the HSV viruses!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:15 PM
7

Your study is men and women self reporting a rating. If you look at the studies I provided, you’ll see what women and men say they want and what they actually want are different. This study has nothing to do with speed dating: Comparisons between stated and revealed preferences shed light on gender differences and similarities: For attractiveness, men’s and (especially) women’s stated preferences underestimated revealed preferences (i.e., they thought attractiveness was less important than it ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 11:56 AM
4

I would say it was at its lowest in my early 20s. I didn’t go to college and college guys didn’t take me very seriously. I worked at a coffee shop by a medical school and would give med students my phone number. None ever called. By my late 20s I went to nursing school and suddenly doctors and lawyers wanted to be my long term boyfriend. Maybe if I had gone to school before I was 28 my experience would be different. I was definitely prettiest in my 20s. I grew into my face more so I’d say judgin…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 11:23 AM
3

But they don’t discriminate more harshly. In fact men of all age groups are famously far, far less discriminating than women. I’ll tell you a boring story. Don’t read if you don’t want a boring story from a middle aged woman . I’m 40 and the sexual marketplace and the relationship marketplace are skewed heavily in my favor compared to men my age and I don’t pretend otherwise. I can always tell when I’m the one with a little more power. And I’m almost invariably the one on a date with more power.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:21 AM
5

The idea that age is associated with masculinity is cultural. There is no biological argument for this. Older men are weaker and slower. Strength and speed IS associated with masculinity, and that is biological. I’m not ignoring the collagen aspect. I just didn’t address it. Are you ignoring the evidence I provided that men wrinkle sooner? And yes, they do. You’re definitely ignoring how much plenty of women love twinks. It’s possible you just weren’t a twink. You probably just were baby faced. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 10:10 AM
5

Men’s testosterone levels are on a steady decline once adulthood is reached. Women’s sex hormones are not decreasing until they rapidly do with menopause. Before that they’re stable. They cycle but stably. So yes men age faster. It isn’t until about 50 women have sudden aging. Men aren’t aging less, they’re just aging steadily. Luckily we have hormone therapy now. When I hit perimenopause I’ll be on hormone replacement therapy quicker than a blink of an eye. And the idea that women don’t love tw…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 09:42 AM
5

I don’t totally disagree. I made the point that most people want an attractive partner, period. Attractiveness favors youth but plenty of 40 year olds are hotter than plenty of 20 year olds. I’m 40 and I don’t pretend to be as attractive as Salma Hayek and she’s 59. That’s 20 years older than me. My boyfriend is 35 but I won’t pretend he’s as good looking as Idris Elba does at 53.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 08:19 AM
9

Yes, men age faster. Partly that’s because they have stronger facial muscles and partly because of how their skin is different from women’s. Men have more dynamic lines due to more movement but also they don’t appear as fine lines as easily, they much more quickly become deep set. It’s why so many men in their 30s develop those forehead lines and women don’t until at least ten years later. Men also tend to not use spf as much as women or retinols. Also men’s hair falls out, and usually women’s d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:44 AM
8

I agree that younger people are more attractive. I’ve always found men in their early 20s the sexiest looking. However, I wouldn’t want a long term relationship with someone 20 years younger than me. I’m 40. Luckily attractive people tend to to stay attractive and when you love someone you love their whole vibe. My boyfriend is 35. When he gets crows feet one day I doubt I’ll care at all because I love him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:40 AM
33

Ah. Well that is a big reason someone who is like 40 would go for a 19 year old. It’s normal to be attracted to a 19 year olds looks. But huge age gaps in committed relationships are not normal and there usually is an element of the older person enjoying the power deferential. That goes for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:41 AM
8

Yes. Same with men. We are in agreement. I always find younger men more beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find men my age also attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:40 AM
2

Women and men are more likely to cheat with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:07 AM
2

Setting aside that I watched a lot of porn before I ever had sex, I was not a blank canvas. I knew what I would like and not like and I ended up correct like 95 percent of the time. For instance I already knew I’d want to bite and be bitten.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:04 AM
2

I don’t pursue but I am very flirtatious. I’ll go out of my way to touch a man’s arm, make him laugh, tease him, openly look him up and down.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:59 AM
5

Not all these studies use speed dating. They still come to the same conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:53 AM
4

Oh for sure. Most people also don’t lead slutty lives and travel all over the world which always baffled me. My favorite hobby when single was sleeping with hot men I couldn’t imagine being in a long term relationship with. But I was raised in like the exact opposite of purity culture. My mother used to tell me I should have a different man for every day of the week. She also took me all over the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:52 AM
3

Source: trust me bro
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:39 AM
2

Nah he tells me about lesbians and their funny banter in clubs in St. Louis, Louisville, New Orleans, Memphis, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:34 AM
13

Women and men both have differing stated vs revealed preferences. Women overstate how much they care about earning power and men understate how much they care. Women and men (but especially women) understate how much they care about looks. From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning powe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:31 AM
4

They’re also sometimes just sluts. A lot more than I expected are lesbians too which I find interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:24 AM
2

Well they’re everywhere so I don’t know. Personally, I have pretty good relationships in my past and I just really paid attention to how my ex’s treated me and everyone else, especially people who weren’t of use to them. I don’t relate to women who complain about men being bad boyfriends or bad in bed. I think my natural filter of only romantically liking empathetic and kind men is what helped me. I’m also very proactive. I ask questions and let silence sit. People like to fill in silences. Usua…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:21 AM
6

He didn’t pay them. His family is in the strip club business. He just knows a lot of strippers. I am proud of him. I’ve never had such a good relationship. He’s my best friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:15 AM
5

Nah people just open up to me really easily. I’m always attracting over sharers. Something about me makes other women treat our convos like they’re in confession. A couple weeks ago a woman at work I just met told me she got kicked out of the Mormon church for having a threesome. Women just tell me crazy shit all the time. Especially sexual shit. The number of women fucking their husband’s brother or best friend is insane. I’ve had women tell me about how their kid isn’t their husbands but the h…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:12 AM
8

Idk my boyfriend fucked middle aged women a lot in his 20s. We have talked about it. But he also is just really good with women. Has had lots of threesomes with strippers and that kind of thing. I guess most men don’t have his experience. But he has explicitly said he slept with women in their 40s in his 20s. Often they were married. No it doesn’t bother me. Cheaters are going to cheat if they want. He wasn’t seducing them. If anything they seduced him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:07 AM
8

I don’t know any men or women dating much younger people in my social circles. But I do know quite a few middle aged women (myself included) who have or had casual sex with young men. Well I’m lying I know one woman at work in her mid thirties who married a man in his young 20s. But she has been punished socially for it. Other women make fun of her. Women aren’t always kind. It’s often suggested in causal convo that she must be unable to keep a man her own age. What can I say, I work with bitche…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:05 AM
7

I go to bars pretty often. Whenever I go out men approach me. Sometimes I’d use tinder. The last guy I slept with before my boyfriend was 27. Gorgeous but not particularly smart. He thought I was funny and said so often. Can’t say he ever made me laugh. Warehouse worker. My boyfriend now is super smart and funny. I feel very lucky. Me being 40 and him being 35 isn’t really an age gap. He gets all my cultural references.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:01 AM
14

Are you actually unaware of the trope of middle aged women sleeping with younger men? It’s extremely common. Fucking and long term relationships are different things. Most successful older men also don’t want to settle down with a younger women. I’m going to direct you to Bezos, Gates, Buffet, Zuckerberg, etc. The richer the man the more likely his long term mate is near his age. There have been studies about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:56 AM
20

I am a 40 year old. My partner is 35. I would not date a 55 year old man. God no. And for casual sex before my partner I was sleeping with men in their late 20s because they can go multiple rounds and have great stamina on TOP of being effortlessly hot because beauty favors youth in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:51 AM
-1

I don’t know I’ve known quite a few women who liked subby men. I can see the appeal. Something about a man on his knees. But he’d have to be hot so I assume you’d say he was physically powerful. But kpop pretty boys are young and handsome but don’t seem physically powerful. And bitches love those twinks. And Timothee Chalamet. You can’t tell me women think he looks powerful. He’s just hot. Like super young DiCaprio in Romeo and Juliet or Titanic. I guess I counter with the universal known truth:…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:48 AM
38

Being sexually attracted to young people is reasonable. It is also reasonable to suspect people who consistently try to date people much younger than them are doing so for reasons other than pure sexual attraction. Most normal people prefer a long term partner be close to their age. That’s just a statistical reality. There’s a reason Jeff Bezos married a rich woman in her 50s. There’s a reason Bill Gates and Zuckerberg and most other rich men are with women in their age range.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:41 AM
0

I mean … women say they are but also most women know “broke dick is the best dick.” There’s a long tradition of female comedians speaking to the universal experience of how the hottest and best lover every woman ever had didn’t have a drivers license or a credit card. Or furniture. Or food in the fridge. He sold weed and had a six pack and big dick. “Good dick is never attached to a good man.” Women have more than one mating strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:34 AM
93

Yes everyone knows young women and men are more attractive. I’d say every single actor I find attractive was most attractive at the age of about 25. Sometimes a bit younger is their peak but on average that’s when men’s cheekbones and jaws look sharpest. I still find them attractive in their 30s and 40s if they keep their hair and the weight off. I use actors because we have footage that can be dated so I’m aware of their age and can compare. I’ve seen shirtless pics of my boyfriend in his 20s. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:28 AM
3

Agreed many therapists are bad therapists. As for the rest… and why is this a problem? Because of how it makes you….. feel?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 07:08 PM
9

If a therapist is just talking about your feelings with you, they’re a shitty therapist. The point of therapy is to learn to change thought patterns and behavior. A therapist who doesn’t call out bullshit and point out maladaptive behaviors is just looking for a paycheck. You talk about men being problem focused and women being feeling focused. In what way are problems affecting men? The problems are making them think and then feel things, right? What are women having feelings about? Problems in…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 04:42 PM
1

Maybe the women sometimes are the ones who are bad at it? When I’m there it is almost always fantastic. But I get on top and also give sexy directions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 04:10 PM
2

Yes. I’ve been close to many people in my running club, work friends, college friends and childhood friends. I have 4 extremely close friends I’ve had for decades. I’ve had I’d say 6 extremely close boyfriends all of which lasted 1-5 years. There are different levels of friends. I’m not going to not befriend someone just because they likely won’t be my friend in ten years. What a shallow, boring life. Likewise, there are different levels of sexual and romantic relationships. Beyond levels there …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 09:17 PM
2

I don’t care about its impact on my life. I’ve never been slut shamed by a man I’ve dated or would ever consider dating. I care about its impact on men’s and women’s mental health. Shame is a destructive emotion that doesn’t promote healthy behaviors. It’s a landfill emotion. ETA: women slut-shame too. I also am not friends with such women, but I worry about the effect their behavior has on our society as a whole and impressionable young girls and boys with low self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 08:19 PM
1

This is often true of many sexist men. It’s not true of many progressive men with healthy self-esteem. The last two men I hooked up before getting serious with my boyfriend went down on me until I begged them to stop because I got so sensitive from all the orgasms. Hook up with progressive, happy, sex positive men who really like women and you’re probably gonna have a great time. Ive said this a few times lately but I’ve slept with about 50 men. 2 were selfish in bed (1 of these 2 was only a lit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:59 PM
–

Nah I’m a decent woman and I watch plenty of porn and don’t care at all if my boyfriend does. Porn doesn’t threaten me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:59 AM
–

College educated couples are the least likely to divorce and most likely to get married. Working women with degrees who are in the top 20 percent of earners are the most likely women to get married in the USA and least likely to divorce. Women initiating divorce isn’t the whole picture. It doesn’t mean the relationship was working for the man either. Some men avoid the paperwork of divorce because they don’t want to be forced into child support, for instance. So they run off and try to avoid a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:57 AM
–

What makes a woman masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 01:54 AM
2

Women take care of men and men take care of children. You’re just pretending to not notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 06:25 PM
1

20 percent of all stay at home parents being men and that number growing every year means something. Having a higher rate of divorce is due to many factors, likely financial strain or men feeling emasculated and taking it out on the wife. Women without college degrees are far more likely to divorce as well. Women who earn in the top 20 percent of income earning are less likely to get divorces than any other group. How do you explain that? Gathering isn’t done “in the home.” Men also gathered and…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 06:20 PM
1

Stay at home dads love their wives and use their time at home to make their wife’s life better via cooking, cleaning and childcare. Do many men feel emasculated if they aren’t the one working outside the home? Sure. That comes from tradition. Men and women didn’t evolve with the concept of stored wealth or property. We were nomadic. Men worked alongside their woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:47 PM
1

Sure. And women who get with a man because they don’t want to work don’t really love him either. Plenty of women like that exist. I’ve known some socially. I looked down on them tbh but they were fun. The number of stay at home dads has skyrocketed in recent years as well. Those men aren’t mooches.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:20 PM
1

Plenty of hobo-sexuals out there, my friend. Nobody falls in love faster than a man whose lease is about to be up. So many men are looking for a nurse with a purse. That’s why the saying even exists. One of the hottest guys I ever dated mooched off me all the time. He “lost his job” when we signed a lease together and then couldn’t find one and wouldn’t accept a job I tried to get him at my work. But women turned and looked at him on the street so I stayed with him. To be fair, the other best lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:06 PM
2

I think way more women watch porn than we realize. According to this survey 1/3 watch it every single week. https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Survey-One-in-three-women-watch-porn-at-least-6584637.php I went to boarding school as a teen and in the dorms we all got together and would watch porn regularly. Back then it took forever to download porn and the school of course blocked porn sites. So everyone wanted to share the different porn they had since we individually could only get so much. Mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:56 PM
1

Nope. Blind people have sex. Sex feels good. But most sighted people who experience sexual attraction do get turned on visually. I also am aware many people are just married to people they don’t actually find attractive. If they like it, I love it. Actually that may be one of the larger taboos in our society. People marrying people they aren’t actually attracted to. Which again: if they like it, I love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:28 AM
9

They actually don’t. Studies about revealed vs. stated preferences always show the same results. If you’re interested: From Northwestern University: True to the stereotypes, the initial self-reports of male participants indicated that they cared more than women about a romantic partner’s physical attractiveness, and the women in the study stated more than men that earning power was an aphrodisiac,” said Paul Eastwick, lead author of the study and graduate student in psychology in the Weinberg Sc…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 08:01 AM
3

Everyone should. Too many people think just because they’re attached to someone and feel affection for them that they love them. It keeps people trapped in unhappy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:56 AM
0

I’ve experienced too many men that turn me on just by their beautiful existence. It’s a wonderful bonus that my boyfriend also is smart, kind and fun. I need all the boxes checked because I enjoy having an extremely active sex life. It elevates my mood every day and is exhilarating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:54 AM
2

No I just care about looks first and foremost. If looking at my man’s naked body doesn’t make me wet what the hell am I doing in that relationship? I have friends who are fun and love me. Fun and love isn’t enough. I only date men who turn me on and treat me well. If it’s a long term relationship he’s got to have my values and sense of humor too. By reactive I mean women aren’t the obvious pursuers. They are the pursued. As I said my best results came once I became subtly active by flirting but …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:45 AM
-1

I didn’t say I don’t approach. I said I don’t try to sweep men off their feet
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:48 AM
-2

I don’t find this is why women are on apps less. Women are as much if not more visual than men when it comes to sexual attraction. Women are very picky about looks if they can afford to be (that is to say, if they’re attractive). The difference I find is one of behavior. Women are socialized to think a men will come and sweep them off their feet. I’ve had quite a few men do this. Have I done this for men? Only once when I was a teenager and it ended poorly. And yes, he was my “looks match” it ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:33 AM
3

Everyone prefers to be taken care of. Humans are lazy. Women never just sat at home and did nothing unless they were absurdly rich, and their husbands also did nothing. Average women and men both always worked. Hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:20 AM
1

Consenting to sex means you consent to sex. Pregnancy is a possible outcome that most humans work really fucking hard to avoid. So nah, we ain’t consenting to pregnancy. And if we do get pregnant, we can have an abortion which is way safer than pregnancy, health wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:18 AM
–

This is the survey and I’d argue the trend is going to continue. Soon women in their 30s will also cheat more or as much as men in their 30s. “adults ages 18 to 29, women are slightly more likely than men to be guilty of infidelity (11% vs. 10%). “ https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:18 AM
–

Sure. But consider that more women cheat in their 20s than men and over the past few decades women’s rates of cheating at all ages has grown at a staggering rate. Btw. I’m a former cheater (though sometimes I’d have loopholes in my head like knowing full well the man assumed exclusivity but we didn’t talk explicitly about it) . I can tell you most women in older generations were raised to think they shouldn’t give in to their desires. But more and more women are, especially since we no longer re…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:16 AM
1

Considering makeup and plastic surgery and Botox and hair styles I’d say women do like being desired for their bodies. I wish men put the same effort in. More women would desire them for their bodies. Of course everyone also wants to be loved. But humans like being desired for their look. My goal in life has been to get more men to wear subtle foundation and eyeliner. It’s so fucking hot. That and long hair. Make yourselves beautiful! You’ll attract women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:06 AM
–

Sure, less young people are trying for sex or relationships according to surveys at least. There’s way less pressure to get married these days. That, to me, is a good thing. As for sex, well, I’m not totally sure why. It’s seems these younger people are much more puritanical than my generation (millennial). I came about during third wave sex positive feminism. These newer feminists are usually very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:49 AM
–

My boyfriend has had many, many one night stands and flings. He has a great body and works with predominantly women so knows how to chat them up. I see no reason to believe he’s cheating on me. He made clear with me he wasn’t looking for casual sex anymore. Funny enough I was when we met and he charmed me and wooed me and I decided eventually I was in love. Yeah. Plenty of guys who can pull women end up wanting relationships and are faithful. I’ve mentioned to him once if he wanted to open up th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:45 AM
–

Women do have an advantage in dating, it’s just not that great, because women are so much pickier than men about who we find sexy. It’s not an advantage to be offered a buffet of food you find repulsive. It is an advantage when some of the food options are appealing to the appetite. Women find less “food” appetizing than men. These are generalizations obviously. Some women don’t have many options. Some very handsome men have a ton of options. Those men often get into long term relationships thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:16 AM
–

Because of low self esteem or propaganda. Anyone who demands firm commitment (much less lifelong commitment) before a trial period that includes physical intimacy has some sort of hang up about intimacy or they think they’re not good enough if someone doesn’t declare their undying love. Plenty of women are like me and want a test drive, so to speak. But we have high self esteem and don’t believe sex devalues us. So we test out before making a commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:06 AM
–

Women who aren’t raised on propaganda also want to have sex and then see what happens. Wanting a firm commitment from someone you haven’t had sex with isn’t normal behavior for humans who are sexual. It’s a sign of insecurity and being told if you don’t get commitment it means you’re not valuable. Are women pickier than men about who they want to have sex with and then see if a LTR is viable? Yes. Women are pickier about men’s looks, personality, etc etc for sex. This isn’t an incompatibility th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:02 AM
–

Actually, a lot of what we’re experiencing is a return to normal as imposed relatively recent social norms fall away. Men invented monogamy because of the relatively recent human creation of property and inheritance of said property. Women and men aren’t naturally monogamous. Men just made women property. If men hadn’t wanted to enforce monogamy and long term relationships, we wouldn’t have them. Men are physically much bigger. Women never made marriage the norm by forcing it on men. As a woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:59 AM
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