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InWeGoNow Archive

View 0 posts and 151 comments by InWeGoNow on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

I don't want to see my ex dating. Or hear it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:20 AM
3

+1
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:55 PM
1

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:06 AM
2

+1. Not worth a moment of your time anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 10:22 PM
2

I'm right there with you. This was/is a real struggle. Try looking at stitch fix. Not great, but it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 05:58 PM
1

It's a pretty amazing feeling when you can do or buy something just because you want to. Especially when you're old enough to have the money to do it. Someone on here once said to enjoy being alone because someday you'll meet another partner for the rest of your life and you'll miss these moments.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 12:38 PM
1

Hopefully you learned your lesson this first time. No reason for you to care about her life or conversations.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 10:50 PM
3

I just recently started jogging again. Suddenly so many more options. You're right on with your question.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 01:51 AM
5

Pawn it, go to Costa Rica for a week.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 09:51 PM
2

Just ask him. Christ. If your hoping for a mature relationship, you also have to do the mature thing and communicate your concern. Could be he just hasn't changed his status and you'll destroy his ex's day by telling her you're dating him. Maybe it's a different scenario if you see current pics of him and his wife together, but still talk to him directly. Do the adult thing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 03:40 PM
3

Volunteered a lot. Helped to balance the pain with the joy that I could at least provide others. Didn't hurt that s lot of cute girls volunteer and are very friendly to other volunteers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 11:45 PM
6

You should move on, but in a way that maintains that close connection with your child. Great job talking to counseling!!! I was reading your post wondering how you worked through that. I would have gone mad. It's taken me about two years post divorce to feel like I'm in control of my destiny independent from my ex. Even with dating, there was still a nagging connection. Maybe you can make a plan with yourself to move on and revisit this again at the end of two years instead of here at one year. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 05:41 PM
3

Get an apartment with a pool in the city and have some fun times! Walk to bars. Become a local. Now I'm jealous!
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 08:55 PM
1

This person is not your responsibility. She needs to find other avenues for help. You're a good person, but I can't imagine your short term help is good for anyone long term. Maybe stop texting. I hope she gets through things okay.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 09:09 PM
3

7-7 here. I hate my non daughter weeks, but it's very easy for her to stay in a school/homework routine. Nice and simple to figure things out in advance and not always in a state of change.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 04:38 PM
10

I just recently started dating again after a couple years removed from divorce. There are enough women out there that are also single, lonely, and just want to have fun being with someone. Just make your intentions clear early on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 12:35 PM
1

Good Lord! I'm sure it seems fun to her, but what a way to waste your life and trash your family's life. Sucks you have to deal with that. Glad you're the one with the kiddos!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 10:39 PM
11

Hell yeah dude. Boats move a lot faster once they lose the anchor.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 07:55 PM
4

That's hilarious. So damn true.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 07:52 PM
1

My personal answer would be to do something more fun on your birthday and just explain that your ex made a mistake and made plans on your time without checking with you first. I'd go to Dave and Busters or something that you and your boys enjoy. You can explain the rules of the divorce to them at their level without adding emotion into it. They will know that time with them is very important to you and rules are in place so their mom and dad don't miss out on any kid time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:55 PM
2

My personal answer would be to do something more fun on your birthday and just explain that your ex made a mistake and made plans on your time without checking with you first. I'd go to Dave and Busters or something that you and your boys enjoy. You can explain the rules of the divorce to them at their level without adding emotion into it. They will know that time with them is very important to you and rules are in place so their mom and dad don't miss out on any kid time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:53 PM
1

My personal answer would be to do something more fun on your birthday and just explain that your ex made a mistake and made plans on your time without checking with you first. I'd go to Dave and Busters or something that you and your boys enjoy. You can explain the rules of the divorce to them at their level without adding emotion into it. They will know that time with them is very important to you and rules are in place so their mom and dad don't miss out on any kid time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:53 PM
5

Tip. Kids at that age tend to only think about themselves. Make sure you address that the separation was not because of them in any way. Let them know how their family is still their family. They will just have two bedrooms now as you will have two apartments. You will both still be there for their birthdays. Their days will continue to be very similar to how they are now. They will not be split from their brother, etc. Afterwards, try to have some family fun with their mother (board games) so t…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:47 PM
1

I really wanted to do a trial separation to think as well. We ended up doing a full separation which was more of a divorce prep. In hind site, I still think I could have really used that separate time, but a vacation or visiting family would have been better. I also understand that when you're not separated, it's not as easy to say that you're just going to up and vacation. Maybe you each vacation for a week separate or visit family a few days to keep things even with money and kids time. I'm al…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 07:51 PM
2

I think everyone wishes it didn't have to end in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 10:46 AM
1

Same. I was told on Christmas week. And had to sign on my birthday. Odd coincidences how those landed. Huh?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 03:23 AM
6

So much truth in this. Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 12:20 PM
2

Don't do it. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 10:11 PM
6

You're going to do incremental little steps that will help. Things like getting to bed early and eating right and cutting out coffee or alcohol will help your body to lower your baseline for stress. That way it takes more for things to become unbearable. It won't make the pain go away, and that is very much time related. If you haven't heard the ball in the box analogy for grief, read this. https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-grief-ball-and-box-analogy#looking-forward. That helped me under…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 08:08 PM
3

That sucks. On the possible bright side? This is a bad time to buy. But great time to sell! 3k sqft is not fun to maintain in my personal experience. Maybe you can sell high, get something small, then buy in again once prices drop. I took some time away from a big house to live in an apartment complex with a pool, view, and lots of single women. Now I'm in a much smaller house which is less work, but I miss the apartment. I don't miss the big house, other than bragging rights.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:11 PM
4

For a while, You need to take care of your mental health like you're getting ready to play in the Superbowl. Eat right, go to bed early, exercise, etc. It will be extra work, but the benefits will be huge and happen fast. You got this bud.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:28 AM
3

Mine was just written up as something like, "each person will retain funds under their own accounts.". Maybe you can get away with a broad statement like that without additional details.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 07:42 PM
11

I don't think it's weird. I thought my ex was attractive before I married her and after. No doubt some other unlucky soul will fall into that same trap as I did.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 02:51 PM
7

I took it as betrayal if he gives you good info and you don't use it to help him. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 12:34 AM
3

You're a good person and, in my opinion, doing right to make sure your kids have a chance at a functional mother in the future. Abuse means she's absolutely not a functional mother now though. It sounds like your wife is honoring the no contact ruling and you're not. Maybe the ruling mentally kicked her ass as bit and she's actually following it and reevaluating. I don't think it helps anyone for you try to break the no contact ruling. Let her stay with a friend and stress in it. You work on get…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 10:05 PM
3

You must get no less than 50/50. You're not a family friend or visitor. You're their father and they need you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 04:06 PM
1

Sell at a loss. House loss=sanity gain
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 12:00 AM
5

It sounds like they'd beworse off without you and only having the mom as a role model. I hope you can fight this through. That's a horrible spot you're in. I hope to see you post about the plan and then success in the future. Keep us posted. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 02:06 PM
2

Mine was separate after we filed and had an agreed to separation date. A date that we were actually separate (sleeping in different rooms at the time). If we had strayed back together or did not agree to that date, the date could have been argued or restarted. Make sure to document how you've already been separate in case you need to prove it. Congrats on the raise.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 08:23 PM
1

Appreciate your posts. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 11:31 PM
4

My ex stated "getting closer to Jesus" as a reason for her to split. In my case, being Christian just meant being able to pull lines out of the bible to back up whatever opinion she held at that moment. Even when it contradicted her previous days opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 01:14 AM
5

Seems that in the current culture, women are looking for a man that will get them the status level they want. Then after you get them there, they get congratulated for being a strong independent woman and leaving you. I suppose a green light is finding someone who is already very satisfied and happy without you. They won't try to change you before marriage, but they certainly will after. Try to find someone who has their own life and happily lets you keep your own life. That means playing video …
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 01:08 AM
10

This is the correct answer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 12:58 AM
8

Also seems like women are in a new generation where they're empowered and hailed as a champion through divorce. "I deserve better simply because I am woman"
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 09:22 PM
3

Mine was completely amicable. The divorce itself was not bad as neither of us wanted to give lawyers (too much of) our money. But life is still hard and depressing. It's almost like the wife I knew suddenly disappeared and that's not easy. Focus on you and your kids and accept the marriage is done. Sorry. It sucks. Right there with ya. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 09:20 PM
7

Well shoot. Times are a-changin. Still probably a quick meeting to verify you're not being forced into anything. Good to prepare for the worst though anyways. Good luck. It's gonna be a weird feeling knowing that is the exact moment your life is changing. Then you go into depressed/annoyed mode, then into holy crap I'm free mode. Or maybe that's just me. :)
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 12:48 PM
5

I wonder if it's just a matter of official signatures. For mine, we both signed with our lawyers, then it was sent to the courts who just made it official.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 12:32 PM
1

I like the apartment idea for a year. My daughter and I called my apartment our summer home and it was good to be surrounded by so many people along with a pool and planned community activities. I'm in a very humble house now that I feel good about, but am still glad I took that year off from house chores.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 10:42 AM
2

I'm near water, so this year will be scuba and surf lessons. Every year, we also do a camping trip into the mountains. Other than that, a whole LOT of swimming and walking around in parks. Always on the look out for street fairs or crafty things. Today is a 'learn to paint' day at a small cafe and a farmers market near by.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 11:11 AM
3

I would would never concede less than 50/50. F anybody or any court who says otherwise. Not a chance! I certainly get that work makes things tough, but there's gotta be a way to work it out. How are they trying to tell a kid that their dad isn't as important??! What the hell is that?!? Good luck! Post here if you need some help with backup stats or studies. One user is already working on a site with material that may help you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 05:57 PM
1

OP appears to live in r/polls
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 01:40 PM
6

OPs ex has entered the chat. Time for new burner account. :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 01:05 AM
10

Bingo. And we were taught to treat them like a princess without carrying for our own well being.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 01:01 AM
1

100% accurate post.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 12:57 AM
2

Nice job. Maybe other folks can add to your archive with research they pull for other topics. A men's divorce reference blog.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 02:05 PM
3

Your escrow will be the overpayment of insurance, taxes, etc for the year. Since you've been paying that alone since 2020, I would expect this to go to you. I don't think that's unfair or being unlawful. (Unless I'm not understanding correctly)
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 10:59 PM
2

Child support is not something the court will get cutsie with. They will give it based on a formula and won't deal with substitutes. Don't get trapped into thinking otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 04:24 PM
2

Been there dude. Sucks! My thoughts are that you're going to fight an emotional war for a while here. Don't go into it without being in peek shape. Eat right. Work out. Go to bed early. No alcohol. This will all help lower your baseline for stress so you can stay under the breaking point when bad feelings inevitably happen. Think of prepping for the Superbowl every day, but you're Superbowl is maximum fun and impact with your son. We're all in this together.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 10:59 PM
2

Others have more info. Here's what I have: Because of the young kids, you will have to be separated for a year prior to divorce. In my case, we each worked through lawyers to sign a separation agreement which just rolled into becoming the divorce agreement after the year. You have to be separated to start the year of separation. Different bedrooms at least, etc. Do it! You're probably losing years off of your life by struggling through the stress and depression. I only have one young daughter, b…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:56 PM
1

You push until you can't push anymore, and then you keep pushing. You must get 50/50. Kids need both parents equally. This is non negotiable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 09:30 PM
1

I'm with the innocent answer for the first mistake. I've made similar errors at first. There's a learning curve to this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 09:53 AM
8

Her deal about the names is definitely odd and would be annoying for sure. She's free to do whatever she wants, so it's not for you to worry about. Perhaps she'll realize she can pick any random name she wants at this point and will go with Boaty McBoatface.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 05:54 PM
2

I suspect you'll just lose those days. If things remain amicable, maybe you can work it out where you do drop off a bit later on some other days. It won't be a fair trade, but it will help with the feeling that you're losing time. Those weeks may be a good time to start some travel tradition with the kids. Fun day at the park before every trip, pizza "party", etc.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 01:35 PM
3

You two need to be away from each other. Sorry, it does hurt, but you are prolonging the pain. You need time to feel the full sorrow alone so you can move on. It's your only path forward. If not for you, then for your kids seeing a fully healthy dad. It's shit. Sorry you're going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 06:13 PM
2

Rule 1. All rules are written and signed off on by both parties. If not, it's not a rule. Make them legally binding. Drop off time windows are clearly defined. Holidays and who gets them are clearly defined. Decide how expenses are split. School, doctors, etc. Decide on education goals and write them in to the rules. Saving for college? Any trips out of state require 24hr written notice with contact info. (for emergencies) The rest is up to each parent. As frustrating as it will be, you won't ag…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 03:11 PM
2

Thanks for this comment. My daughter is just starting into a more independent age and it's a good reminder that I need to keep working on my own goals at the same time as working on her growth.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 08:42 PM
1

Not my fight, but I'd say to just save your money. It won't mean much in the end. Just an uneducated opinion if you want it. Obviously we all need different things to move on, and nobody wants to feel like they just gave up on something without just cause. With that, I'm also curious what would have been found with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 08:36 PM
7

Pho-Roy is still around. Do not go back to that. Can't afford moments of weakness when kids are involved. You got this dude.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 11:25 PM
5

Worth it?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 01:55 AM
11

This Reddit sub needs an organized trip to Thailand
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 01:51 AM
1

Honestly though. Good job putting yourself back out there in the first place. Maybe it's really not worth it, but it's tough pushing through to find out.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 03:12 AM
3

This conversation is spot on. Love this group.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 10:59 PM
0

Response:. "thanks for the heads up. I won't be collecting it. Please feel free to keep or dispose of it at your own disgression. Hope you're doing well."
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 08:32 PM
5

+1 to join gym. Happiest I've been in a while
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 12:06 AM
18

Sucks dude. Not fun to see that physical manifestation of pain. File it away, then pick up a nice steak for dinner. That was my strategy anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 10:12 PM
1

It kinda sounds like you checked out a while ago and are using this as an excuse to let your wife end things for you. If not, you have to be the adult in the room and fix things. Either way, you need to step up and not hide behind "I'm neutral." That's just setting things up to be more shitty later in the fallout. There are kids involved, so I can't get behind the poor me, look how crazy everyone else is strategy. Your kids can't afford for you to be "neutral." Sorry. Not the response you were l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 06:58 PM
16

That sucks! Don't worry. Your kids know better. I suspect the other kids just had a dumb moment of not realizing even married parents don't have to be attached at the hip. It will work both ways. I had an emergency where I had to drop my kid off at her Mommy's during my time. Picking her up I joked, "how was Mommy daycare?" Without realizing how much that unintentionally hurt my ex. I've found as long as I treat everything as the new normal, my daughter is good with it, and the other kids fall i…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 06:48 PM
2

For myself, I asked work to flood me with as much work as possible. I didn't want an idle mind to drive me crazy. Hang in there. It's hard. It's real hard. Less is more with communication and dealing with the BS. If at all possible, set some schedule and ground rules. If you can agree on something and get it in writing, you never have to talk about that one thing again. Easier if you can do it through a lawyer or mediator. Maybe email. Don't talk about feelings or what went wrong ever again with…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 08:40 PM
5

I'm right there with you on the Christmas news. Then I had to sign the separation papers on my birthday.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 11:52 PM
4

I believe $ from house sale is not taxed. We did our lump sum during the sale for that purpose. I think it's taxed if not put towards new property within a certain time though.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 08:11 PM
3

My friends were pushed away to make room for "our" (read as "her") friends. Now no friends. I'm interested in your Thailand strategy!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 04:48 PM
7

I have an 11 yr old daughter. Anything less than 100% custody absolutely doesn't feel like enough. I'm missing half of her life growing up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:22 AM
1

Avoiding alimony is good. If 50/50 split is the goal, it sounds decent. Don't forget all the stuff in the house.. furniture, appliances etc if they change the value for you. If you're comfortable with it, go for it. Since kids are involved, consider if her getting house is best strategy. Will she need to sell to get income? Is it better to sell together to force her to be in a better place with the kids? Just thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 10:20 PM
11

Cut off communications if you can. No reason to even have those conversations anymore. She can blame it on the rain if she wants. You've moved on. It sucks, but it's over. I guess it's more of a rip the band-aid off approach. Good luck. Sorry you're going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:05 PM
2

Whenever I felt the most depressed, I would volunteer. I figured if I couldn't make myself happy, I could at least make others happy. I think maybe it worked out because nobody expects much from a volunteer. They're just happy to see you no matter what. As a bonus, I met some cool people who had their heads in the right spot trying to do some good for this f'd up world. Made me less bitter. I don't know if this will work for others, but maybe. It does get better, but thinking about that is like …
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 01:14 AM
2

I spent a year on here seeing everyone say to exercise. I finally started up again and it's helped a lot! Also getting out for hikes and reading. Not perfect still, but getting better. I'm thinking yoga and more sleep has gotta be a good next step.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 04:01 AM
10

I wish when stuff was given back, it included the ring. Would love to sell that thing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 03:49 AM
3

As part of the amicable agreement, you two may agree to each person charging an equal number of visits to a lawyer. Each person will absolutely want a lawyers opinion before signing anything. I would expect the number of visits to remain very similar if much is agreed on outside of lawyer support. Mine worked out very similar to this excerpt we each knew both had 8 free visits through our employment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 04:14 PM
3

My wife was very driven when I met her. So driven that anything I did was eventually seen as holding her back. No change, just a different place to channel that energy
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 01:38 AM
15

Really no reason anyone should be using Facebook since 2016. It's been proven to just makes it's users depressed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 08:37 PM
1

See if you guys can map out your past spending and set a budget for the future. That may help shed light on the unfairness. This forum may not be your best place for advice. Divorce is not a great option and I would still have avoided it at all costs if I could have. I hope you can find a better way. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 12:23 AM
8

I also got controlling, passive aggressive, and autistic. It hurt at first since this was a person whose opinion I cared about greatly. Now I realize it's just the norm to be called names on the way out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 11:02 PM
2

Good answer. It's separate from claiming the child as a dependent.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:44 AM
3

How did it go?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 05:48 PM
2

So what is the process if one person goes off the rails? Do we have to sue and have it take months in court? Can someone lose custody? I'd love to know these answers in advance. I'm of the mindset that we need to work together as much as possible for the sake of the child, but my ex would be happy to exploit every loophole there is and will eventually cross the line like the OPs situation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 05:46 PM
2

In my case, we each hired a lawyer. We made all the decisions, but the lawyers guided us through the process and filled the paperwork to the court. The lawyers also provided a good sounding board for strategy and realistic expectations. We made it very clear to the lawyers up front that going to court was not going to happen, so they were less inclined to steer us towards the conflict that would make the lawyers more money and hurt us as a result. I did a lot of reading on sharing child care cos…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:36 PM
6

If someone thinks a main asset is looks, that someone has other things to work on prior to marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 03:18 PM
10

You will do better in court. She knows this. At min, you are sure to get child support. For the kids sake, you need things to be fair.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 03:25 AM
9

That's a really good analogy. If the goal is "I want to get married and have a kid," then it's all down hill after that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 04:43 PM
18

Well that last sentence really kicked me in the nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 04:38 PM
5

I'm guilty of previously not recognizing how many crummy mothers are out there. In my own divorce, I had to fight the urge to go after full custody and instead really worked hard to support the mom/ daughter relationship by providing crafts and games to play, being available to help, etc. The ex had to learn how to make being a mom her priority. She was just concerned with power at work and "bettering" herself. It sounds like full custody of your 2yr old is a good thing and you can manage buildi…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 03:42 PM
7

The correct answer
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 07:09 PM
1

If you're going to get back together, do it over the course of a year. No need to do anything faster. And get counseling together over that year. Make sure you're thinking about your own well being. You're the only one who's going to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 01:24 PM
1

I started getting terrible headaches from the smallest bit of alcohol recently. It's a blessing and a curse.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/21 07:59 PM
3

Hell yeah you are. Feels good. Don't it?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/21 10:09 PM
-2

There is no time anyone should be yelling like this or thinking it's justified. If you're peaceful, don't stay in a situation where this is how you feel you need to respond. It's ruining you. If this is a normal resolution to conflict for you, work to get better. Yelling will not help. Good luck. I hope things get better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 07:03 PM
1

x2
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/21 10:54 PM
1

100% agree with the mythical AA solution issue, but I think his support group idea is still good and valid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/21 10:52 PM
1

I hear ya. I have to fight off depression just to exercise to fight off depression. Makes it real tough and I fail at it a lot personally. I hope you can take advantage of some of these pandemic jobs in the meantime. Truck drivers are needed BAD right now. That would be a cool way to see the country while deciding where to land. Future you will appreciate what you learned and how you got stronger through this. At least that's how I've felt through some other events. Still working through this on…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 04:38 PM
1

I'm 18 months out and don't have this figured out. We have one child together. I'm similarly in a state with no other family. Here are some thoughts you can bounce around. 1. Exercise. I'm just now starting to run and it's really helping my mental (and physical) health. I blew this off for a while, but wow does jogging (which I hate and it hurts) make a difference. 2. Get an apartment that has a good energy around it. I did this first before buying a home and it helped to feel surrounded by peop…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 12:55 PM
8

Outstanding write up. Paragraph 3 should be taught in schools.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 08:51 PM
15

Bingo. But now I understand it was all a charade and "what should have been" was never possible.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 12:39 AM
2

I hear ya on the bike. I ended up getting a jeep and the open air is great for relaxing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 01:38 AM
14

Damn! Too accurate. "I want someone who makes me feel like a princess." "Yay! I'm a princess now." "What am I doing with this loser?"
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/21 01:50 PM
3

It comes down to you two either agreeing, or losing a ton battling it out in court. It sounds like you're both on the path to a good solution. Lawyers will always advise to fight it out because they will be the only winners. It sounds like, given some time and space, your ex will come to an agreeable solution still. I like the other poster's lump sum idea as well.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 01:34 PM
2

I had the same problem and they were the best damn cookies my daughter and I ever ate!
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 08:40 PM
3

I'm looking for someone with a no drama boring life that simply enjoys spending time together. I would expect her to be more like a fun aunt to my daughter than a mom. She already has a mom who she loves, so trying to replace that would not go well. I'm in my 40s, so I want my partner to have her own life and own hobbies, but we still look forward to our time together. Having my own space and not getting into something bad again is too important to push for anything more.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 07:28 PM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/21 11:58 AM
6

You have be honest and tell her you don't want marriage. It may be a deal breaker, but unfortunately that may just be the case.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/21 02:37 PM
2

Get out. Stay safe. You will feel a weight lifted off of you. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/21 11:57 PM
1

Mine was amicable. It still hurt a lot, so I don't have a solution for personal emotions. As far as between us, we were very careful to put everything in contact. Then, if something comes up that is a conflict, we follow the contract. Your parents are in town? sorry it says our daughter is with me that week. I miss most of Christmas week with my daughter... Too bad cause that's how it's divided this year. Makes for some sucky situations, but strict adherence keeps it from being a revenge or emot…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/21 10:28 PM
5

10 years ago I was in a similar situation to where you're at now. Early 30s, no kids, met a great type A who wanted kids, both just got out of long relationships (not marriage). I also liked being challenged to be better since I thought I was too chill about stuff sometimes. I eventually found that the drive to be better never ends. The constant change and dissatisfaction was actually just a way of life and not the means to a happier end. I realize now that I'm also driven, but in a different wa…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/21 08:12 PM
2

Confuses me too. I think the photo is of the OP. And with the amount of fake on this woman, the rare gem is cubic zirconia.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/21 04:18 PM
1

A diamond isn't a"gem" during the coal stage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/21 04:07 PM
8

Nope. But I don't give gifts to most women I'm not related to.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/20 11:28 PM
7

Going from from primary to 50/50 hurts. My wife wasn't engaged in the family much, calls it quits, then suddenly I get less time with my daughter. Such crap.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/20 06:21 PM
7

Man, I'm in the same boat with you. I feel like I gave so much, too much, of myself to one person that there's nothing left for anyone else. I dive into work and into time with my daughter, but then that's it. Hoping someone in here has suggestions
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/20 12:04 PM
3

I think i did make that joke, so clearly I'm a man. Hold on, let me ask for directions on this. Oh crap!
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 11:32 PM
2

Um.....Now I'm unsure again. :) Thx for sharing advice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 11:21 PM
5

You didn't see I was joking. Woman: confirmed. Carry on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 11:13 PM
3

This clearly is not a woman. They like to be picked up off the street, dressed up, and taken to fancy restaurants where they can fling oysters for the waiter to catch.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 11:03 PM
1

She asked for separation right before Christmas. I called everyone in my family individually before the holiday visit to spare my daughter from questions and having it dominate her holiday. Those were tough calls as it was unexpected for all of us. Made me a lot closer with my family though. A year later and i still can't figure out a good way to discuss it at work.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/20 01:05 AM
1

For me personally, i would be completely age appropriate honest. Explains your thoughts and how there are different views out there. Good time for them to learn no one person or group has all the answers. Let them know you didn't take the decision or their thoughts on it lightly. Religion is tough on kids because they're taught irrational fear along with non reciprocal love. Because i don't believe, my stbx tried to use that against me with my daughter. I have been honest and open and stayed out…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/20 05:20 PM
3

Congrats. One more week and ill be right there with you. Just bought a nice rowing machine. The new me is beginning and it feels good.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/20 02:54 PM
3

Skip why it happened for the immediate now, even though it sucks! Talk to a lawyer asap since a lawyer will help with how you need to behave for custody, money, house, etc. Secure 50% of money today. Take notes on her words and her behaviors. Try to not put this burden on your kids. Keeping life normal for them is the hardest part, but whoever makes things tough on them will suffer in their eyes. Even though you're being treated like this and it hurts BAD, remember that an amicable split is stil…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/20 05:18 PM
10

Honestly, just stop. You two aren't in a good situation right now. Judging how the other grieves will not help. Later saying "I talked to other divorced guys about you" won't help either. He has his own issues to deal with no doubt, but its time for you each to fix yourselves instead of worrying about the other. Get over the fact that he's mad at home and fix why you're mad on Reddit. You'll both be better off. Good luck with a speedy house sale. I wish you two luck!
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 05:38 PM
3

One way to show it is to put yourself in counseling. You don't need the whole family to do it to have it help. Often times working on yourself fixes your interactions with others in the process. If it doesn't fix it, it may give you clarity to better understand your feelings about the marriage. If you've already cheated, you may find that you're already looking for a way out. We all walk a tough road. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 05:16 PM
4

Unfortunately I'm seeing the same thing. Either: 1. People lie about their age 2. Women age faster 3. I have way too high of an opinion of myself. I suspect it's number 3 since I want to think I'm still 26. Acceptance hasn't set in yet.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/20 09:23 PM
2

Thanks for sharing your story. I'll let everyone else give better advice than I have, but i appreciate your bravery.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 05:33 PM
2

Giving you a hug. I don't know if you have kids, but I found separation (soon divorce) to be the same amount of life adjustment. It messes up your schedule. It takes effort. There will be bad times. But above it all, it's so incredibly worth it. Wishing you luck.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 05:29 PM
2

You're doing the right thing. They'll figure it out and will judge her for it when it's time. Just keep being an awesome dad and don't falter. Sucks what you're going through. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 05:34 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your story.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 10:00 PM
1

well done
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 12:26 AM
1

Really great advice. I would add that my daughter seemed to appreciate hearing that for all of mommy and daddy's arguing, she was the one thing that we never argued about. Also the talk doesn't end with the talk. Parents need to keep checking in with the kids and discussing. After a year, my daughter is now processing things differently and she's trying to make sense of it in new ways.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/20 01:34 PM
6

Yes, definitely shop lawyers. Divorce can be very cookie cutter if you let it, and not in a good way for guys. Good advice OP. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/20 01:47 AM
1

Man, there are some really good and concise definitions on here. Well done.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/20 10:18 PM
1

This is explained well. Made me a little sad reading my same experience and being reminded that this same crappy path exists for so many of us. Just a slow and quiet acceptance that things will continue to get worse until it's done. I still question whether these events are inevitable or people just try too late to fix things.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/20 10:16 PM
2

The wife became church and career driven to the point where family was no longer a priority. My priority was on family at the expense of all else. Neither is wrong but neither was willing to compromise. We grew apart.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/20 10:15 PM
1

I hear ya on the heart attack thing. That stress can build up without you even realizing. Congrats on almost being through the filing part. Hope you get to relax for a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/20 12:55 AM
2

Thanks for writing this. These were my exact feelings right now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/19 11:02 PM
1

This is exactly my coping strategy
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 12:26 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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