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Mattythrowaway85 Archive

View 0 posts and 63 comments by Mattythrowaway85 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yeah I know, but what really burned me that it was them who took the ability to claim alimony on taxes. People used to be able to do that, and now they can't. The sole purpose was to keep families families. I had no choice in the matter my ex didn't want to stay together.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:05 PM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 09:15 PM
6

Yep, I pay around 36,000 for alimony (not including child support). I make around 170k, and pay all the taxes, and for full healthcare. It's criminal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 09:15 PM
17

The Republicans killed the ability for people who divorced after 2018 to deduct alimony. And my ex doesn't have to claim the 30+k in income. I totally got fucked over. - https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc452#:~:text=You%20can't%20deduct%20alimony,payments%20applies%20to%20the%20modification.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 01:12 PM
33

The fact that I can't deduct alimony already burned me with the Republicans. I pay $34,000 a year in alimony..
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 12:16 PM
1

You take care of yourself friend. One day at a time. It will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:29 PM
4

I'm nervous for you man. Hang in there and remember to take a breath. Keep us updated and we are hoping for the best. That's a absolute mess she created. Did she try to go after your job too?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 06:54 PM
1

How is your sobriety going right now? Are you achieving what you need to be? I know this sucks and there can be a lot of hurt dealing with this kind of stuff. I hope you both can get into some marriage counseling to root out and work on the issues together. Divorce is a tough road for sure. Sorry to hear you're going through this. Hang in there and don't allow yourself the temptation of alcohol during this rough time. Your child will need you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 02:28 PM
3

This right here...
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 02:03 PM
5

Why don't you post your income and debts and let us see what kind of budget you're looking at? Once that's laid bare, we can see if it's worth just declaring bankruptcy or not.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 09:29 PM
10

$2000 seems a bit much for child support. Having said that, if you need to burn someone, I'd burn your creditors before I'd burn my children, unless your ex is really not taking care of the kids and there is evidence she's messing around. If she's taking advantage of you, then I'd go through court to change the support amount. Either way, do what you need to do and don't feel ashamed. Divorce really does fuck the men up financially. I nearly went bankrupt during my separation and divorce, and I'…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 09:26 PM
2

Yeah, I feel for ya man. I felt the same way, because that's what was happening. Don't give up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 12:33 AM
2

When I first got screwed over, I had a salary of around $125k. I was required to pay between alimony and child support $3900. It was a mess. That came out to be around 70% of my net income after you factored the health insurance, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 12:21 AM
1

How much of your net pay are they trying to take? At one point I was having to give around 70% of my net salary and somehow not get into a financial bind which would have gotten my clearance revoked.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 12:08 AM
3

This
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:48 PM
1

This x100000. His job can and will most likely fire him on a drop of a dime, but being in the kid's life is what will give him purpose. Nothing fulfills that purpose like being a father.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:47 PM
4

Yep, his legacy will be tarnished because he wanted to be happy. He's going to legit regret that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:43 PM
3

This
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:42 PM
1

Good deal. Good luck with everhing brother!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:55 PM
1

Errrr, if you were war gaming this out, the way to cover yourself is to get texts of your wife confirming how/what to use the house funds for. Make it seem like a mutual decision. Oh, and you better hope to hell that she doesn't find these types of posts.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:52 PM
3

Yeah, I went through something a little similar. It's hard to get over the fact that the one person you trusted more than anything, did you wrong the most. The emotions you go through are legit. I think at one point I thought my ex was more evil than Osama himself, because to me, she was. Good luck man!
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 10:36 PM
3

Yeah, it's tough man. I'd recommend going to therapy. I feel like that would have helped me moved on quicker if I had done that. The pain is still there, but time will help you deal with it and help you realize it doesn't define you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 10:26 PM
4

You just have to move on. It's hard to not think about everything that happened. I'm 4+ years out and the anger is still there, but it doesn't impact me as hard as it used to. At some point you just need to move along.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 10:21 PM
1

They never froze my accounts. I pulled right from the TSP site. I did it as a hardship withdrawal.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 10:32 PM
2

Do that. I actually pulled my tsp before they cut the actual order and the divorce was final. It wasn't much, but it helped me pay down some of the debts from the divorce. It's a mess, and you're in a tough spot because you have to basically take it up the butt from the court or risk losing your clearance.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 09:33 PM
5

Oh yeah they can and they will. They will send the order direct from the court to DFAS.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 08:41 PM
8

Ah man, I'm sorry. I work for DoD as a civilian. We are basically screwed, especially since you probably also have a clearance. Accusations like sexual assault can kill someone's career. Please take care of your mental health and do what you can. At the end of the day, if you can't pay, you can't pay. It's a mess. At one point I gave almost 68% of my net income to my ex out of my paycheck. I'm just now four years later taking home more than half of the paycheck a month (due to my raises over tim…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 07:38 PM
2

Nope. Make distance and keep it. Time will make it slow down.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 10:54 PM
2

Lucky. I have to give almost 3,000 a month for the next two years.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 08:06 PM
2

Good for her, and you. Count your lucky stars she isn't going for alimony, or you'd be in rougher shape. I say roll out quick. ood luck!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 07:57 PM
2

How will she survive? Is she on disability or something? Is she even thinking that you are leaving with your money? Roll out and find happiness you deserve it. Sorry man I know it's hard.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 07:33 PM
8

Just roll out and don't let the door hit you on the way out. Does she want alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 07:30 PM
6

You'll actually be giving her about 60% of your paycheck if she isn't working. Alimony will be huge here. I give my ex 3900 a month on a 153k salary (that's how much it was when the calc was done). Now making more though.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 12:46 AM
1

Yeah it's rough man. It really sucks. Don't let it burn you too much.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 12:32 PM
2

You're finding out in real terms how the court system doesn't give a fuck about you. Your ex is doing this on purpose, and is probably being advised my her side to do this. My ex's sister was a divorce attorney, and advised my ex. It was horrific and every single trick was used. It's not fair, and they don't care that its not fair. She will take everything from you if she could. I was giving almost 75% of my net income in alimony and child support when we first separated. I petitioned the court …
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 11:32 AM
1

I tried all the apps, and the only one that I met anyone meaningful on was Hinge. Good luck. Take your time, and enjoy life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 02:38 PM
2

I met her on Hinge. This January it will be two years since we got together. We just had a son together this past March. There's hope out there brother. I thought it was over for me and I'd never find happiness again. Keep your head up, and don't dwell in the past.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 02:15 AM
3

Yes. Yes I did. I'm with someone who truly loves and adores me 3+ years after heartbreak. Honestly this relationship tells me that my ex never loved me. Hell, I don't think she even liked me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 01:00 AM
1

I didn't cheat on my ex, but I also wasn't the greatest. My fuck up and breakup also affected the kids, but that's life. We have to move on. You have to do that for your kids. They look up to you and will model your behavior. There's always a chance they'll also be in that same position when they are older, and you need to model how to move on. You need to do that for you, and your kids. Trust me, you'll beat yourself up and the world will continue to beat you up until you're dead. You have to f…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:39 PM
0

Why are you not seeing them at all right now? Is she keeping you from the kids?!? Hold yourself together man!
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:10 PM
1

Nice that you have a remorse, but it will eat you up inside. You need to forgive yourself, and deal with what happened and move on. Your kids need that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 02:10 PM
9

This x100. I would make this report asap.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:11 AM
3

This is going to be very bad for you. I saw someone else post recently that you need to get her working full time right now. If not, I can assure you it will only go bad for you. The court will def stick you with the debt and alimony and child support. Be prepared to pay for two households because if she's not doing this, that's exactly what you'll be doing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 07:44 PM
5

100% right here. I have a friend who just got his security clearance suspended because his ex did a bogus protective order against him. He just lost his career, his ex, his kids, and is being sent to court for alimony and child support. I'm horrified for him.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 11:45 AM
5

Second this approach. Step up efforts to see your child as much as possible. That's all that can be done. Any legal avenue would be pointless at the point and can hurt the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 12:44 AM
0

I feel this post a lot. Let her take you to court. Bring this up to the judge. Be able to show that you're on time and complying with child support. Hopefully the judge won't be a douche. My experience is that they are, but you may luck out. She can't just take from what you give for support and apply that to the driver's ed and say you now have to pay the rest in child support. That's not legal at all. I feel ya man. I have a child with my current girlfriend. I'm trying to move on, but my ex do…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 01:59 AM
3

Yeah, I hear you. Nobody would judge you either way to be honest. I had a good friend, and his best friend and his wife ended up having an affair. He was fine with it, until he wasn't, then he ended up taking off for a month and banging a couple of other women. Then he came home a month later and they are still together today. In fact he's doing great right now. He's an FBI agent and they are closer than ever. Was weird, but that's what happened
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 07:06 PM
2

I'm so sorry man. I know it's not an excuse, but dealing with a cancer battle with your child can really mess with you and your partner mentally. It's one of those things where it really shakes you to your core. I know people just handle it differently. I have no solutions other than to wish you luck. Don't be hard on yourself and give yourself grace
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 06:57 PM
12

You absolutely need to get her working asap. If she doesnt, document these refusals and make sure the judge knows that she refuses to work despite her nursing degree. I believe they can impute income to her if you can prove her utter lack of desire to work. Don't be me. You'll end up giving her over half of your salary if you stay the course and not watch your back, and the judge won't give two shits if you can't even afford to live.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:59 PM
4

Just breathe. It's going to be okay. Both of you are probably really hurt. Give yourself some time and grace. I also recommend therapy to help you deal with your feelings. It really helped me. I'm going on five years post separation and divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:55 PM
3

Do what you feel is in the best interest of your child. No matter what, if you do that you won't regret it in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 05:26 PM
4

You are absolutely screwed if she does not get a job. You need to look at this as not only protecting yourself, but help getting someone you once loved on their feet. She really needs to get a job and get situated. My ex was a stay at home mom when we split. She used that as an excuse to max me out on alimony and support. I give her almost half of my income between alimony and child support, and she refuses to work. I'm completely stuck until the kids are 18 to make any career changes. I wanted …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 01:11 PM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 01:08 PM
6

He can probably file a change of circumstances. Thats what he needs to do?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 03:59 PM
3

You're going to get fucked my man. If i were you I'd be protecting myself. I had to give half the value of our house and she got alimony based on my $130k income at the time. You need to start fighting for her to get a job right now so that will lower the alimony you have to pay her. Between alimony and child support, your likely to be giving her over 50% of your net income, and you'll be paying all the taxes, and the health insurance. I got absolutely decimated because the ex was a stay at home…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 04:16 PM
3

I'm not over 50. I'm 38 and had to sell my house after a divorce. I enjoy renting way more than owning a home. I bought my house in '08 before the crash. When the crash happend, the value of my house collapsed and I was underwater for almost ten years. That felt worse knowing I couldn't sell my house without taking a huge loss. They kept me terrified and in a dead marriage for longer. Renting has felt great. I'm at the point where I want to find out where I want to move.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 09:56 PM
5

It's going to be horrific man. No way around it. I did everything I could to lessen the pain, and my sons are fucked up. My oldest is in a deep depression from it all. Sorry, I just don't think you're going to get around not fucking them up. Please ensure that when you do this you get them into therapy. Oh, and my ex used me trying to lessen the blow to my sons against me. She was able to sneak off and move over three hours away. I only get to see them once a month if I'm lucky enough to get off…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 03:50 AM
3

Good on you. I pay almost $3k in alimony a month. That bitch doesn't even have a job and moved to the beach.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 09:45 PM
3

You didn't end up owing alimony? Stud!
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 09:36 PM
5

My mom is saying the same thing about my step dad. She loves him, but she's just not in love with him. Funny though, but the thing is she is carrying on an affair right now. I think you'll see that this whole "I'm not in love with you" thing has more to it. She is carrying on an affair. She knows it will get messy if you find out. That will bode better for you in the divorce and she knows it. Sorry man...
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 02:24 PM
1

Sorry to hear that. Same thing with me. My ex tried to say my son doesn't want to come over for fathers day. Bitch of all weekends. She did the same on my birthday last year.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 08:51 PM
6

Dude don't do this to yourself. She was supposed to be a woman of her word by taking vows. She wasn't. She's most likely cheating on you. But yeah keep being a man of your word and allow yourself to be walked over... Please for your sake cut it off and don't waste any of your hard earned time or money on her. Use it on yourself. You seem like a good man. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 05:07 AM
6

You owe her nothing
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 05:04 AM
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